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This has to be stopped.
Juan had exactly sixty-six chances to turn Graf down and this time, he would without a doubt not fumble in the sixty-seventh attempt.
In their past dates, Juan always brought an emotional support with him. Everyone on the island at some point had been drafted into the role at least once, whether willingly or not, including his arch rival Katie, who he invited out of pure desperation. Much to his dismay, she didn’t help him in any way and instead ragebaited him the entire time until he was on the verge of exploding. It only made him look worse rather than making Graf lose interest on him like he had hoped.
There was also that one time, probably their twenty-first date, when a literal war broke out in the middle of their outing. The entire situation spiraled into chaos around them, but Graf remained focused on Juan, calmly eliminating anyone who got too close and treated them as just another minor inconvenience. Juan, on the other hand, spent the whole time terrified, realizing that even something as extreme as a war wasn’t enough to interrupt Graf once he was locked in to their date.
During their fortieth-something date, they were just walking through the outskirts when they spotted Schlatt in his backyard, leaning back in a chair, smoking, staring up at the sky and the massive ship blocking the ocean view.
Juan immediately got an idea. A terrible one because he didn’t think it through even a little bit.
“Dad!” he called out and ran up to him. He threw his arms around Schlatt in a tight, overly affectionate hug. “I missed you!”
Schlatt flinched hard, trying to squirm away before giving up with a sigh and awkwardly patting Juan’s back. “Nice to see you again, son.”
Juan thought being a clingy daddy’s boy at his grown age would surely turn Graf off, he hadn’t tried this strategy yet shockingly. Maybe this would finally make him lose interest and walk away on his own.
And instead—
“Heyyyy Graf, it’s been a long time, man!” Schlatt greeted, already stepping forward, dragging Juan along and offered a hand like they were old acquaintances.
Juan froze mid-hug. He didn’t factor this into the plan.
“Good morning, Schlatt,” Graf greeted politely, shaking his hand and smiling.
“I really appreciate the help you gave me last time, so uh…” Schlatt said after pulling back, glancing between the two of them with mild curiosity. “You two make a weird pair. What’s going on?”
Graf opened his mouth first. “Juan and I are having a morning stroll-“
Juan’s grip tightened on Graf’s shoulder before he could stop himself, the panic betrayed whatever plan he had formed in his head.
“We’re on a date!”
The words came out too loud and coherent, and so was the silence.
Schlatt blinked slowly, cigarette paused halfway to his lips. Even Graf turned toward him, visibly caught off guard.
Fuck! Why would he even say that?! Juan wished his friends were here to beat him up for the careless slip up.
“Oh,” Schlatt said after a beat, exhaling smoke. He scratched his head, deciding how to seriously respond to this. “Hm…. Huh…”
Then, with a casual shrug, he said, “If he makes you happy, son, the blessing’s all yours.”
No!!!!!
Juan felt his soul leaving his body on the spot.
He remembered that date not because it went well, but because Schlatt’s blessing had felt like something irreversible had just been set in motion.
Now, back to the present time, Juan wanted to stop being a coward and man up. He could do this by himself with no emotional support friends, distractions and escape plans.
He would properly stop all this nonsense once and for all.
So, he arranged a picnic date far away from civilization where nobody, nothing could interrupt them. Fingers crossed.
The picnic spot sat beside a quiet river near the mountains, hidden away from the rest of the island. Graf arrived carrying a picnic basket, along with a thick blanket and a pair of comfortable cushions for them to sit on. He laid everything out carefully while Juan sat there internally preparing for death.
There were a basket of fruits, avocado toasts, freshly-baked pastries, even a bottle of wine with proper glasses instead of plastic cups. Everything was arranged neatly between them like it just came straight out of a cozy romantic movie.
Graf quietly reached over and took Juan’s plate after noticing him nearly cutting himself while distractedly trying to slice strawberries.
“Careful,” Graf murmured softly. “You nearly cut yourself.”
Juan watched him cut the strawberries into smaller pieces with steady hands before placing the plate back in front of him.
“…Thanks,” Juan muttered, suddenly nervous again.
That was the problem with Graf. He was always gentle with him in an overwhelming way. Especially the way he helps Juan before he could even ask and remembering little details that he wasn’t even aware of.
It made Juan terrible.
Every time he tried to convince himself this relationship was a bad idea, Graf would show up doing something unbearably sincere and ruin everything again and again.
No. He really should stop being pessimistic for once and that was exactly why this needed to end now.
Juan clenched his fists against his knees before he could lose his nerve again.
“Um, Graf?” he started shakily. “Can I just be straightforward with you?”
Graf looked up from his wine glass immediately. “Of course.”
Juan clenched his fists harder. “I think we really have to stop this,” he forced out. “All this… date stuff.”
The subtle change in Graf’s expression was immediate and noticeable by Juan. After all those dates, it would be impossible for Juan to not detect the slightest difference in Graf’s face.
Graf’s small smile disappeared first, followed by the dimming warmth in his eyes.
“Oh,” Graf said softly.
That alone slammed guilt into Juan’s chest so hard it almost hurt physically, he dreaded to see that look since the beginning.
Graf lowered his gaze toward the picnic spread between them, fingers tightening slightly around the stem of his wine glass before relaxing again. Even now, he looked composed which somehow made it worse.
Juan would have preferred it if Graf openly expressed his anger and disappointment. Even a slap to his face would suffice. Anything except for this quiet acceptance and defeat.
“I- Uhm… Uh…” Juan’s throat tightened, the script he rehearsed disappeared from his mind. The guilt was overbearing he wanted to jump into the river to clear his head.
Graf gave a small nod. “It’s okay,” he said calmly. “I understand if you don’t accept my feelings.”
“We can still be good friends,” Graf continued, taking a deep exhale. “You don’t have to force yourself just because I-”
Juan cut in with impulse, “We have to stop this because we should get married instead!”
The wine glass slipped from Graf’s fingers and tipped sideways into the blanket.
“Huh?” Graf asked weakly.
“Huh?” Juan echoed right after in horror.
Somewhere in the distance, hidden inside a bush, the cameraman slowly lowered his camera and stared at the couple in complete disbelief.
Somewhere in the North, Foolish suddenly stopped mid-conversation and grabbed his head from an incoming massive headache.
Somewhere inside a laboratory, Multi felt an unexplainable chill crawling down his spine. He looked around the room frantically like the universe was blaming him again for something he didn’t commit.
Somewhere, Katie remained unbothered.
And somewhere within the federation headquarters, Cucurucho had a flash of thought that somebody should die sometime soon.
“Excuse me, can you repeat that for me?” Graf asked, genuinely needed to make sure he hadn’t misheard.
Juan cleared his throat. “Um. I think I just asked if we should get… married?” he said again, this time slower as if that would make it any less absurd.
There was another uncomfortable pause before Graf responded.
“Yes. Yes, I would love that actually.”
Juan snapped his head up so fast it hurt, “What?”
“But,” Graf cut in, setting his glass down. “I believe there’s no point if you’re only doing this to make me happy.”
Juan froze.
“I don’t want the person that I love to feel like he’s trapped by my selfishness. I’m already more than grateful enough you spend time with me.” Graf looked down for a moment, then back up. “But to be in a one-sided marriage? You’re too hard on yourself, Juan.”
He continued, “A marriage shouldn’t be something you just agree to stop hurting someone else’s feelings. If you’re unhappy, then so am I.”
Juan felt the drop in chest, like something had loosened and fell straight through him.
“Why…” Juan whispered, his brain refusing to catch up.
Graf didn’t answer this time. The lack of response hurt more than he imagined.
Juan’s hands moved before he even decided to. He leaned forward to grab Graf’s hand.
“Jeez, man,” he said shakily, trying to laugh but failing. “You’re always making it so damn hard for me. Graf, you’re just as toxic as me, you motherfucker.”
Graf continued to not say anything but the way the corner of his mouth twitched gave him away completely.
And when Juan saw it, the last thread holding him together snapped and everything gushed out.
“You win, Graf,” Juan blurted out. “You better wipe that grin off your face right now. I fucking hate you, you know that? I hate you because you won my heart in the end. Fuck you, asshole, for trying to guilt trip me, how dare you do that before I could? Great, just great! I can’t even say no anymore because ugh! I actually do want your smart-ass, scheming, manipulative, charming Polish ass.”
It all came out in one continuous confession, his face turning red halfway through. Juan’s voice cracked at the edges until the very end that by the time he finished, he was shaking.
Snot and hot tears spilled down his face messily, completely unrestrained.
Graf didn’t hold back to pull Juan into a tight embrace. Juan collapsed into him on instinct, trembling, trying to breathe through. Graf’s hand moved slowly along his back, rubbing gentle circles.
“Sweetheart,” Graf murmured softly. “It’s okay, it’s okay now.”
Once Juan stopped shaking from emotional overload, Graf pressed a kiss to the top of his head and spoke again. “What would you like me to do now?”
Juan sniffed loudly before looking up with red puffy eyes. “I don’t know,” he muttered, totally embarrassed and ashamed now that he gathered himself. “Say that you love me I guess.”
“I love you, Juan.”
Juan’s face turned red all over again.
“Will you really do everything that I say?”
“Everything within my capabilities, yes.”
“If I told you I want to elope right now, would you do it?”
“I know many places with beautiful, scenic views,” Graf replied without hesitation. “Just tell me where you want to go.”
Juan’s mouth gaped speechlessly, burying his face back into his shoulder. “Oh my God, I’m never gonna win against you.”
There probably would never be a sixty-eighth date, not when it accidentally turned into their honeymoon instead.