✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ┊

┊ ┊ ┊ ┊ ˚★⋆｡˚ ⋆

┊ ┊ ┊ ⋆

┊ ┊ ★⋆

┊ ◦

★⋆ ┊ . ˚

           ˚★

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Fyodor stood outside the tall, pristine blue building, biting the tip of his thumb. The looming building infront of him was also known as... The Church of Scientology. The Russian's expression was difficult to read, yet his amethyst eyes clearly narrowed the longer he glared at that building. He kept biting at his thumb, slowly starting to draw blood, until he was suddenly grabbed by the waist and swept into a tight embrace, "FEDYAAA!!~ I'm here!" The other man squealed, twirling Fyodor around as if they were both performing a waltz. The clown abruptly releases the Russian and turns to look at an imaginary wristwatch on his right wrist, "--aand I'm about 10 minutes early!" He suddenly surges forward, now in Fyodor's personal space, "That means we have extra time together, Fedya~ Isn't that great?!" He giggles, the sound like wind chimes sharply blowing in a hurricane, tapping Fyodor on the nose, before stepping back, "By the way, just to inform you... I did infact see you biting your thumb again. Please stop that... It's not a good habit! You'll just end up hurting yourself... I don't want you to get hurt!"

"Pfft. Typical Nikolai," Fyodor thought in his head, "Whatever, whatever... where are the others?" He asked, tapping his foot on the ground impatiently, and in return Nikolai sighs way too loudly, "Can't you just focus on only me for a bit? Oh well, Sigma is on his way. He apparently 'had some stuff to deal with' in the Casino. Air quotes," Fyodor puts a hand on his temple, "Ugh, okay. What about Stoker?" Nikolai crossed his arms with a 'hmph' sound before speaking, "Oh, him? He definitely had no plans of even showing up, that's for sure. Last I heard he was in his coffin listening to K-Pop... or whatever that old man's interested in nowadays," He shrugged. Fyodor sighed once again, "What about Fukuchi? Atleast he'll show up, right?" Nikolai huffed, "Ugh. He's probably at a bar getting hung-over on sake right now. Definitely not coming-" He turns away, but turns back to make direct eye contact with Fyodor, "-but who says we can't spend some time together right now~"

Fyodor steps forward and pats Nikolai on the head, his expression just slightly softer than before, despite being annoyed, "After this, Kolya. Just... be patient." Nikolai squeaked like a pathetic, angry cat, "Fine... you should be grateful I don't just kiss you right h-" He was suddenly cut off as a loud thud was heard from behind them. A white-clad figure with long, split purple-white locks could be seen landing gracefully behind the two. Fyodor didn't even need to turn around to know the newcomer's identity, "Sigma, hello. It's great to see you."

Sigma's hair blew in the slight breeze as he walked over to the duo, "It's great to see you too, I guess," he replies, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "I had some extremely important duties to tend to, and this is what you call me over to do?" Fyodor stared, expression blank once again, "This in itself is an important duty, Sigma. The people who practice this so-called 'Scientology' are straying beliefs farther from our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ," his tone was serious, holding no room for argument, as he continues speaking, "Which is exactly why we must... eradicate them using our usual methods, and I do hope you'll be able to assist me with carrying out the current task at hand," he clearly would not be taking no for an answer.

"Hold it for a second there, Dostoevsky," Sigma puts his hands up in defense, "You said that this was for... 'mapping the building out'. That was the whole point of the mission. You did not mention destroying the entire place," Fyodor interrupts him, "It's called a side quest, Sigma. Now, are you going to obey or do I need to stop being nice to you?" Nikolai steps forward once again, standing between Sigma and Fyodor, "Wait a moment! I thought this was going to be like... a Minecraft speedrun! Like... we'll see how far we can stay in that building for until we get kicked out, is that not the purpose of what we're doing? I mean, Fedya, I'm still going with your entire 'eradication' plan, I'm just a bit confused," "As I mentioned beforehand, yes, we are still mapping out the building, which would be helpful incase we decide to traverse the area once again," Fyodor responds, turning toward the Scientology building. Nikolai follows his gaze and nods, "I guess we're going in now, then? Since the other two aren't coming an-" Fyodor cuts Nikolai off by clamping his hand over the latter's mouth, "Remember the plan, Kolya. I'm using the front entrance, you and Sigma are going to use the other side to get in. As I've mentioned before, I'll be pretending to be interested in the teachings of this 'religion', which... I'd rather call it a cult, honestly. The plan starts-" He removes his hand from Nikolai's mouth, placing a finger over his mouth, before stepping back, hands behind his back, that same, seemingly emotionless smile etched onto his face, "-now."

With that, the Russian already began walking towards the entrance of the brightly-lit building. Sigma muttered, "I should've been the one entering normally. He's the one who's wanted for about 30 different crimes right now," Nikolai slowly turned to look at Sigma, "It's no big deal, we're destroying the place anyways, c'mon, desert boy, let's use the vents!" Without waiting for a response, Nikolai gripped Sigma's wrist tight, and started dragging him along, "Hey- HEY, WE AREN'T GOING TO USE THE FUCKING VENTS, GOGOL! WE WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO FIT, ARE YOU STUPID?!" He shouted, pulling his wrist out of the clown's vice grip with a burst of strength, before continuing, "Since we're clearly not going to even be subtle anyways..." Sigma tossed a coin at one of the building's walls, stepping back as the 'coin' unleashed an explosion, "We'll just be paving our own path inside," he said casually, before entering, not even waiting for Nikolai to follow him, "Oh, Sigma!! I didn't think you could actually be fun for once!" He shouts after Sigma, running in behind him.

"So, your name again... it was Shannon correct? Actually, I was going to tell you how thrilled I was to cleanse myself. How much are these courses, currently?" Fyodor spoke to the lady he walked with, through the almost neverending hallways. One thing he did notice was how quick she was at opening and closing doors, that intrigued him. It wasn't long 'till she responded, "The prices vary. I'd like to specifically know which course you're interested in before I could give you a specific number," she replied, leading them into another room before continuing, "I'm quite glad you're interested in learning about our beliefs, though. We've had too many people raiding the building lately, so fellows like you are a breath of fresh air to me, hahah..." she said, a soft smile on her face.

What a shame. She was actually quite a nice woman, but Fyodor had to do what he had to do, "I do find the beliefs intriguing, and I find myself to be rather... connected to it in a way," he says, while reaching into his pocket for a box of cigarettes, slyly pulling one out, "Ah, I completely get what you mean, and just to be sure again, your name was... Dostoevsky Fyodor, corre-" She paused, "You aren't allowed to smoke in here, my apologies."

Fyodor was already lighting the cigar with a lighter, sparking the tip of it with a small flame, "Oh, is that so?" He says, an almost unfortunate expression on his face despite his blank eyes, "It's too late to warn me now, though. My name, Dostoevsky... have you not figured out who I am yet?" He glances at the cancer stick in his hand, before tossing it into an open gas tank, "Member of The Decay of Angel. Have fun cleaning up your mess~" The Russian dashed out of the room right before the cigarette made complete-contact with the tank.

"Hey, does this place atleast have coffee? Espresso? Where can I buy food? Do they have cookies?" Sigma rambled to a random employee before suddenly-

BOOM!

A loud explosion could be heard, then followed by the sound of ear-piercing alarms. Sigma immediately covered his ears, "AUGH! DAMMIT, GOGOL-" Nikolai suddenly fell right out of a vent, covered in water, as if on-cue to Sigma's screaming, "I actually wasn't the cause of that explosion. I was raiding the rooms and-"  He was also interrupted as the sprinklers started going off, "-That was Fedya. Probably. But whatever, this makes it more fun!" Nikolai grabbed Sigma's wrist and started running through the hallways, "Hey wait- Gogol let go of me!" The clown ignored the other man's protest, and used his free hand to pull a gun out of his water-soaked coat. With surprising strength, Sigma wrenched free from Nikolai's vice grip, and he ran into a side room, "If we're going to destroy these place, might aswell keep remnants," he mutters under his breath, looking through confidential documents. He noticed how Nikolai didn't actually follow him inside this side room, "Alone, finally," he thought to himself, exiting the room back into the complete chaos.

Nikolai barely registered Sigma's escape, and he kept running, shooting about anyone he saw while humming the Jeopardy theme off-key, meanwhile Sigma just walked around the water-coated hallways, trying his best not to slip. The distant sound of gunshots caught him off-guard, before he frowned, immediately knowing it was the clown, "Ugh, pathetic..." He muttered under his breath, "I should go find Dostoevsky," and as if on-cue, distant explosions of glass shattering could be heard, and Fyodor could be faintly heard humming Nearer My God To Thee, followed by a distant whoosh of flames.

Fuck.

Nikolai soon realized Sigma wasn't actually running beside him anymore, "Sigma? Sigmaaa? Where did you go?" He asks, to an empty hallway, before suddenly hearing distant flames crackling and humming, "Sounds like Fedya's having fun... I need to go find Sigma first, or else Fedya'll kill me for losing him..." He said to himself. Nikolai ran back in the direction he came from, tossing the empty gun behind him over his shoulder, "SIGMAAAAAAAAA, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?! FEDYA'S GONNA KILL ME IF I LOSE YOU!!!" His panicked shouts echoing throughout the thin walls of the building.

Sigma's breath caught in his throat once he heard Nikolai's screaming, "Damn it!" He muttered to himself, clutching the stolen documents to his chest, before breaking into a sprint, his heels clicking rhythmically against the tiles of the wrecked building. (AN: what a fucking diva??) He suddenly skidded to a halt, spotting something in his peripheral vision.

His eyes sparkled as he noticed an espresso machine. Without thinking twice, he discarded all the documents on the floor and left the machine as his top priority, immediately taking it, before continuing on the path he was originally running on, the papers scattering behind him. He had a complete change of plans: He was going to exit the building without Fyodor and Nikolai, which is the most viable solution to randomly being dragged into a mission to destroy an entire fucking religion. Sigma stopped running, listening to the distant crackle of flames, noting to run in the opposite direction of that noise. He was about to continue running, until he felt an arm wrap around his waist and pull him back, instinctively, he leaned forward, aiming to topple the person over, which actually worked.

"SIGMA YOU FUCKI- OW!!! WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU?!" Nikolai yelled, slightly pained, but also amused at the fact Sigma could defend himself. The clown quickly recovered, yanking Sigma's wrist, putting his own hat on the manager's head, "Oh, also, nice espresso machine," he casually mentioned, while Sigma had a vice grip on it using one arm, "Damn you to Hell, Gogol..." He growled, as Nikolai skipped through the hallways, dragging Sigma along with him, "Sorry! I can't have Fedya killing me early~ I'm too young to die!" He said in response, his tone sing-songy, as he dragged him towards the distant noise of flames licking away at the building's structure.

Soon enough, they both found Fyodor, who was leaning against a wall while the fire roared behind him, clutching a molotov cocktail precariously in one hand, lighter in the other, "Oh, greetings. I was just busy... burning the place... or, atleast trying to. One of you set the alarms off."

Nikolai giggled, "Fedya, Fedya... have you not tried to think that... you set the alarms off? You were the one playing pyromaniac with those cocktails~" His tone was teasing, before he continued, "I also... set the alarms off beforehand. Sorry not sorry." Fyodor scoffed in response, "Whatever, let's exit this hot dump of a building," he didn't wait for a reply, already walking down the wrecked halls to the exit, which was already half-scorched. Nikolai followed suit, humming a tune off-key. Sigma sighed, and decided to go along with the two, seeing as the 'mission' was already over.

Fyodor reached into his pocket and pulled out one last cigarette, lighting it, before discarding it over his shoulder. Nikolai's expression shifted from amusement to confusion, "Fedya, you smoke?" Fyodor's eyes narrowed as he turned to look at the clown, "No. I use cigarettes as a way to burn things. If I ever were to smoke, I'd perish earlier. Combining nicotine with my anemia wouldn't make a pleasant result."

That got Sigma's attention, he would've assumed Fyodor would've been the type to be a chainsmoker, but he did have a point... it'd damage his health for no good reason. He wanted to stay on the topic further, but he stayed quiet, still holding the espresso machine to his chest quietly as he kept walking alongside the two. While the trio were about to exit, fucking Tom Cruise appeared out of nowhere, and he looked like one of those phonk images, before speaking, voice autotuned in a way:

"I am the storm."

Fyodor stared, expression blank, before slowly turning to Nikolai, "Kolya, do the thing," he says, absolutely no emotion in his voice. Nikolai saluted like a soldier, before putting his hand in his coat, and pulling a perfectly-pristine mirror out. He centered Cruise's face in the mirror, "Your central incisor isn't perfectly aligned. Your face isn't symmetrical," Nikolai said, glee clear in his voice.

Tom Cruise stared, before glitching out of reality, "NO!!! I AM PERFECT!!!!" and then he just lowkey poofed out of reality lol

As he disappeared, Nikolai put the mirror back in his coat with a theatrical bow, "Now, where's my applause..."

Fyodor and Sigma just looked at him, "No offense, Gogol, but anyone could have done that," Sigma replied, tone bored, "Let's just get back to hideout," he continued, shoving Nikolai aside to exit the building. Nikolai panicked, chasing after Sigma, tone erratic, "Hey!!! I have charm, and you don't! Only moi could've done that!" Fyodor sighed, before following the two out of the building, "I should be paid for babysitting the two of you," he muttered under his breath as they all got outside, far enough from the building.

Suddenly, the building completely exploded behind them.

Nikolai giggled, imitating an explosion with his hands, making a 'boom' noise, "Heh... teamwork, right guys?"

Sigma scoffed, "Teamwork my ass."

"You biodegradable piece of fabric, I have told you to leave me the hell alone more times than I can remember, you insolent being," Bram growled out, turning up the volume of the radio beside his coffin. Fukuchi's eyes narrowed, "It's not my fault I dislike that earrape you call music," he replied, irritated. The vampire hissed, "If you don't like it, then you can go run off. Yet you're still here. Just leave me alone, PLEASE," he responds, arms crossed. Fukuchi was about to speak, before suddenly they both heard a loud explosion, their focus snapping towards the source. In the distance, a large, cross-adorned building could be seen, being reduced to complete ash. Bram seemed to get annoyed, "That shit's louder than my music," he muttered. Fukuchi turned to look at Bram, "Isn't that where Fyodor wanted us to meet up? Pathetic..." He chuckled, crossing his arms, the explosion reflecting in his blank gaze. Bram turned away, humming along to the music as the distant explosion sound faded out, "This is the one time I can agree with you, FUCKuchi."