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Dyntos has created a chat
Dyntos added Palutena, Viridi, Hades, Pit, and Pittoo
Palutena: Lord Dyntos, may I ask what this is?
Dyntos: Something that'll keep you whippersnappers occupied instead of starting another war!
Hades: It really wasn't THAT bad
Viridi: You can't be serious rn
Hades: Well it was going great for me until Medusa lobbed my head off and Pitty shot me with a laser
Palutena: ANYWAYS
Palutena: Lord Dyntos, did you really magic phones into our hands just to make sure we keep our chaos in text????
Dyntos: Yep, I sure did.
Palutena: While I appreciate it, I don't think this can work
Dyntos: Why?
Palutena: Pit and Pittoo can't read or write, so they can't participate
Dyntos: Tell those doofuses to use the TTS and STT!
Pit: Oh that makes sense
Pittoo: Why's my name pit to here too
Palutena: I'm really starting to think that I need to teach you two how to read and write
Pittoo: No I don't want you to
Pit: I'd be down for that
Palutena: You'd really rather be illiterate than learn from me??????
Pittoo: Yes
Hades: Y'know I am a fan of Pittooey contributing to the literacy crisis
Pittoo: On second thought you can teach me
Hades: Really Pittooey??? You'd do this to your own grandfather???
Pittoo: Now where did you get the idea that you're my grandfather
Hades: Well you were made from the Mirror of Truth, therefore you're my grandson
Viridi: Are you saying that you made the Mirror of Truth?????
Hades: I'm not saying that
Viridi: THEN WHAT ARE YOU SAYING
Hades: Anything that's made for the Underworld Army is technically my kid
Hades: So the Mirror of Truth is my kid and everything that it made is my grandkid
Viridi: This is the weirdest family tree ever
Palutena: Well we are based on Greek Mythology
Viridi: Let's not open THAT can of worms
Viridi: Actually, on second thought let's open that can of worms
Pit: Oh geez
Viridi: Are Hades and Poseidon brothers in this game universe?????
Palutena: That's actually a good question
Hades: I actually don't know
Hades: Because nothing in game says that we are, but it'd be weird if we aren't
Pit: But this game really isn't that close to all the Greek stuff
Viridi: Good point
Viridi: I'd believe that they are brothers if Zeus was here, but I don't think he's gonna be in this series
Pit: Oh he is
Viridi: HE IS???
Pit: Yeah he gave me upgrades in the first two games
Palutena: I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS????
Palutena: WAS HE ACTUALLY NAMED ZEUS
Pit: He was named that in of myths and monsters but he was just the friendly god in the first game
Hades: I don't think OMaM counts as canon
Viridi: Yeah but that "friendly god" is still a little suspicious
Palutena: Pit, did you fight anyone else that we didn't talk about in this game?
Pit: Some guy called Uranus
Palutena: URANOS????
Hades: Please tell us this was in the non canon game or Pretty Palutena's going to have a conniption
Pit: No it was in the first one
Pittoo: Why's parrot tenant freaking out
Palutena: Because Uranos was the embodiment of the sky??? He's the father of the Titans???? Grandfather of a lot of major gods????
Viridi: Divinipedia says that he's just the God of the Sky in this game series
Palutena: The first game just has weird lore and I don't like it
Viridi: Petition to ignore all lore from the first two games?
Palutena: Signed
Hades: Signed
Pit: Signed
Hades: Pittooey sign it
Pittoo: No
Pit: Sign it
Pittoo: Fine
Pittoo: Signed
Hades: When did you two get so buddy-buddy?
Pittoo: When I realized that my life was connected to him
Pit: So you do like me
Pittoo: I tolerate you the most out of everyone here
Pit: I can accept that
Hades: I feel like we need to acknowledge that there's still weird lore in Uprising though
Palutena: Like what
Viridi: Literally everything abt Pyrrhon
Palutena: I've never really found him all that strange tbh
Pit: But why do all of you act like he isn't actually the sun god
Pit: Like no one questions that viridian is the goddess of nature or lady parrot tenant is the goddess of light but you act like pyrrhic is faking it
Hades: Pretty Palutena pls teach your boy how to write because I can barely understand this STT texting
Palutena: yeah, yeah, I will.
Palutena: But he's saying that no one questions my or Viridi's status as goddess of light or nature, yet we say things like "self proclaimed" or "that's what he calls himself" when talking abt Pyrrhon as the sun god
Viridi: I honestly just don't like him, and I don't want him to be the god of smth so important
Viridi: But yeah that is weird when you point it out
Hades: Maybe he'll come back in the next game and reveal himself to be a massive poser or some other character gets introduced that's the actual sun god
Palutena: I wouldn't be all that surprised but he's definitely weird as of right now
Hades: yeah, weird because he's completely naked
Viridi: I was wondering when someone was gonna acknowledge it
Hades: I'll have you know that I DID acknowledge it when I said that I hoped he was decent right before Pitty went to fight him
Hades: But I'm more concerned with the clear favoritism towards him
Hades: My poor Syrens had to cover up before the game was released, but this guy gets to be completely nude
Palutena: You're complaining as if your Syrens didn't have massive nipples on their chests????
Palutena: Of course that was gonna get censored in a kid's game. The reason Pyrrhon got away with it is because he has nothing to show
Hades: They could've just removed them like they did for him, but they instead had my girls cover up
Viridi: That's probably because their design would be too empty without smth there.
Viridi: Again, the only reason Pyrrhon got away with it is because he has all those marks on his body
Hades: Oh, please. My Syrens are minor enemies so they didn't need to be super detailed
Hades: Nintendo is just full of double standards
Pittoo: Sure buddy
Hades: Excuse you
Hades: I stand up for my girls and am instead faced with slander from all sides!
Viridi: YOU STARTED A WAR
Hades: That's completely irrelevant rn
Palutena: No you deserve to be slandered whenever we feel like it after that
Palutena: But why were you even doing it in the first place?
Pit: Yeah lady parrot tenant sounded really surprised when you revealed yourself even though she already knew who you were
Hades: I don't have to explain myself to you
Pittoo: That means he doesn't know
Hades: No it doesn't
Viridi: Then tell us why you decided it might be fun to cause a massive war
Hades: I'll have you know that mischief is one of my main responsibilities
Palutena: Yeah but this war really wasn't your usual style
Hades: erm
Hades: I don't really have a canon reason
Viridi: So what I'm hearing is that you did it just for the heck of it
Hades: That is not at all what I just said
Viridi: That is basically what you just said
Hades: No! I said that I don't know WHY I decided to start a war, not that I did it for fun
Viridi: Practically the same thing
Palutena: That is not at all the same thing
Palutena: Why are you making me side with him of all people
Hades: Actually I can think of one thing that might've done it
Pittoo: This should be good
Hades: Thanatos needed to actually do his job for once instead of forcing the Reapers to do it
Hades: Creating an overflow of souls could've forced him to come back to help out but he was dead so that plan failed
Pittoo: Gee if only someone could've revived him and just ordered him to get back to his nine to five
Hades: I didn't consider doing that
Pit: Couldn't you just force him to do his job when you revived him the first time
Hades: No he ran away to Poseidon's domain so I couldn't do anything
Pittoo: Couldn't you just tell Poseidon to kick him out
Hades: We don't have a canon relationship so I honestly have no idea how that would've played out
Viridi: That's just dumb tbh
Palutena: If it were me, I would've just marched down to that palace and dragged him back
Hades: I would never bc I let my underlings have benefits unlike you
Palutena: WHAT
Viridi: I mean…
Viridi: He's not wrong
Viridi: WAIT NOW IM THE ONE AGREEING WITH HIM EW
Palutena: Oh please, dead Lord of the Underworld. Enlighten me on how I don't give my underlings benefits
Hades: I don't watch you religiously! I don't know any specifics
Hades: But I can just see the difference in the way Viridi treats her commanders vs the way you treat Pitty Pat
Viridi: Again, hate to agree with him on anything, but yeah
Viridi: At least I had the grace to hype up my commanders when Pit fought them
Viridi: You just bully Pit
Palutena: We've ALL bullied him
Hades: We're ANTAGONISTS
Hades: You're his helper so you should do better
Palutena: nuh uh
Hades: That's very mature of you
Hades: I'm noticing that the angels aren't saying anything
Hades: Could they perchance secretly agree with me and Viridi?
Pittoo: You guys already know how I feel about her
Pit: I'd prefer to stay out of this as much as possible
Palutena: Excuse me?
Viridi: OOOOOHHHHH
Viridi: Even Pit agrees that ur a terrible boss
Pit: No that's not what I said
Viridi: No way Mr. Suck Up is growing a spine NOW of all times
Pit: I just don't want to get involved in this
Palutena: And why is that
Pittoo: He just doesn't want to admit the truth
Pittoo: That's why I exist
Pit: No
Pittoo: Yes
Pit: You exist because of a stupid mirror
Pittoo: Because you're too wimpy to say what's on your mind
Viridi: Are we psychoanalyzing Pit rn or what
Pit: Can we not do that
Hades: Do you even know what that word means
Pit: Yeah you jerk
Hades: Well I had to check bc you're not always the brightest
Pit: I can still know things
Palutena: Sometimes you make it hard to remember that
Pittoo: Do you see what I mean now pit
Palutena: I really don't appreciate this attitude
Pittoo: I'm sorry that I gave you the impression that I care about what you appreciate
Palutena: Don't make me smite you
Viridi: I can't believe you let your angels trash talk you
Viridi: My commanders always treat me with respect
Pit: Hey I haven't said anything and I don't think pit to is one of her angels
Viridi: She still let's you get away with too much
Hades: Yeah Pretty Palutena needs to grow a spine or you'll be revolting against in her in the next game
Palutena: That'll never happen bc we're not getting a new game
Hades: We only have like 11 more years until the next one
Palutena: I thought that was a joke
Viridi: Might as well be taken seriously bc at least we still have hope that we'll eventually get another one
Palutena: Hades did you curse us to have to wait until 2037 for a new game
Hades: I plead the fifth
Viridi: THIS IS ANCIENT GREECE
Hades: I refuse to speak until my lawyer is present
Pit: Do we even want to know who your lawyer is
Hades: The Hewdraw, of course
Pittoo: That sounds awful
Palutena: Those three would just be arguing with each other over some stupid piece of evidence while the judge and jury rethink their life choices
Hades: That's exactly why I made them my fake lawyer
Viridi: Fake lawyer????
Hades: Pandora is my real lawyer who'll take advantage of the chaotic court to win the case while the Hewdraw and Twinbellows distract everyone
Palutena: That is not how courts work
Pit: Do the humans even have courts like that right now
Palutena: Not exactly but they have something close
Pittoo: So do we have everything they'll have in the future
Viridi: DUH didn't you pay attention during my dialogue on the cannons????
Pittoo: I wasn't around for that
Pit: Well we do have Doctor Mario and Super Smash Brothers
Palutena: Its Super Bash Sisters but yes
Pit: So shouldn't we have all of the games that'll ever be made for our series
Viridi: Wait a gosh darn moment
Palutena: This feels like smth we shouldn't be thinking too hard about
Hades: No no let the boy do his rare thinking
Pit: Why don't you just go home
Hades: Can you stop telling me to go to hell
Hades: That's very rude Pitty
Palutena: Why are you two like this
Viridi: Maybe we just have everything that our developers have, like we have everything that exists in 2026 even though we're in Ancient Greece
Palutena: Wait that's an interesting theory
Pit: My head hurts from all this time stuff
Pittoo: Your head always hurts when you need to think critically about something for more than a second
Pit: I thought I was your favorite and you'd die without me D:
Pittoo: That doesn't mean that I have to be nice to you
Hades: Who taught Pitty how to use emoticons
Hades: I can sense that his texts are going to be ten times as corny now
Palutena: He heard abt them from a Centurion and they taught him how to do them while you were criticizing my leadership
Viridi: But why only start using them now
Pit: Just seemed like the best time ദ്ദി(˵•̀ ᴗ -˵)
Hades: Pls tell me you're not going to start using them in every text you send
Pit: Well now I'm gonna do it just to annoy you ꉂꉂ(ᵔᗜᵔ◍)
Hades: I can't believe I have to spend my dead life like this
Viridi: Wait
Viridi: HOW ARE YOU TEXTING US WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD
Hades: It took you that long to realize?
Pit: I just thought that it was something similar to uprisings post credits scene ʅ( ․ ⤙ ․)ʃ
Hades: It's smth like that but for texting
Viridi: What post credits scene
Pit: You guys didn't know about it ◔‸◔?
Palutena: Of course not
Hades: My disembodied voice just bullied Pitty and yelled at him for killing me
Pit: No I remember you saying that you were proud of me •︡ᯅ•︠
Hades: I did no such thing
Palutena: Sorry Pit but I'm gonna have to agree with Hades on this one
Viridi: Yeah him saying that he's proud of anyone just sounds out of character
Pittoo: I'd believe it
Pit: At least someone agrees with me
Viridi: Yeah but the people who actually matter disagree
Pit: Who is the main character again (눈‸눈)
Viridi: Me
Pit: No >:(
Viridi: I'm basically the main character since my arc was the best in the game
Hades: No the Chaos arc was definitely the best one
Pit: I honestly liked the alien one the most ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎
Pit: But the one with the forces of nature was the most confusing one ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)
Viridi: How was it even confusing
Pit: All of Hades commanders were gods or monsters but we never found out what your commanders were (｡· v ·｡) ?
Palutena: I don't think Cragalanche is a god so he's probably a "monster", but Phosphora and Arlon could've been minor lightning and moon gods
Viridi: No I think Phosphora was a nymph but I'm not really sure
Palutena: Aren't nymphs just minor nature goddesses
Viridi: Wait now I'm confused too
Pit: And most of your commanders were themed after nature stuff but then you just had some purple guy on the moon ಠ_ಠ
Pit: He's not natural at all and he's British ᓀ‸ᓂ
Pit: Why are British people in ancient Greece (⊙_⊙)¿?
Hades: I truly hate your emoticons
Pit: Good ദ്ദി ≽^⎚˕⎚^≼ .ᐟ
Palutena: Yeah Arlon honestly felt like he belonged with the Aurum rather than the Forces of Nature
Viridi: He's based on the moon! The moon is technically part of nature, so his alien stuff fits
Palutena: Lets hope they don't introduce a moon god in the next game that will completely contradict what you just said
Hades: Just like Pyrrhon
Hades: Our sun and moon characters are just all sorts of strange
Palutena: Maybe they're related
Viridi: Eh, maybe
Pittoo: I hope we don't get more gods in the next game because the ones we already have are more than enough
Pittoo: Some more humans could be nice
Viridi: H*MANS????
Viridi: THE TWO WE ALREADY HAVE ARE BAD ENOUGH
Palutena: Of course you would censor the word "humans"
Pit: But man us and gal are awesome (💢｀Д´)
Palutena: Magnus and Gaol?
Pit: This is getting so annoying ಥ_ಥ
Palutena: Yeah I'm gonna have to teach you how to read and write asap
Viridi: Those two barely have anything going for them!
Viridi: Besides they're only two out of the thousands of h*mans who are AWFUL
Hades: Gaol was actually pretty amazing when I got that cursed armor on her
Hades: But any human could've worked just fine
Palutena: When you put the WHAT on her
Pittoo: When was cursed armor ever established as a thing
Hades: Don't you guys ever read the idol descriptions
Pit: No :(
Hades: Of course you don't for obvious reasons
Palutena: There's hundreds of them! No one has the time to read all of them!
Hades: Well your laziness gave Pitty misinformation during Chapter 2!
Hades: You said that Gaol couldn't resist the Underworld's temptation but she was actually just captured and put in that cursed armor
Palutena: How was I supposed to know that???
Viridi: Don't you have an All Seeing Eye
Viridi: So you should've seen that h*man being possessed by armor
Palutena: My botched laser eye surgery made my All Seeing Eye a Slightly Less Seeing Eye
Viridi: You're so dumb
Hades: It really was a shame to lose such a good commander
Hades: I wonder what she's doing now
Hades: Maybe she and that other human went and had another baby human
Palutena: I do not want to be thinking abt that
Pit: Are you saying that gal and man us had a kid :0
Hades: My goodness Pitty! Who else would that Magnus fellow have had a kid with besides one of his mercenary partners?
Pittoo: Didn't that man us guy have a kid that you killed
Hades: That is completely beside the point
Pit: I just thought that he liked someone I didn't know, I was mostly just wondering why he was so strong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Palutena: Some people think that one of his parents might've been a god and he might've been based on Heracles
Palutena: So maybe that's why he's so strong
Viridi: Of course you'd be a massive nerd and type out the Greek name instead of the popular Roman one
Pit: Can the gods in our games even have kids with humans ( ・◇・)?
Palutena: Probably but I'd never because my Greek inspiration didn't fall in love with anyone
Viridi: Lets not be too strict with the Greek inspo stuff since that would make you Hades's niece
Palutena: I'd genuinely hate that
Hades: I'd be an amazing uncle!
Hades: But the little rose bud is probably right since she herself doesn't really have a solid inspiration
Palutena: Maybe she's based on Demeter, the goddess of agriculture
Hades: Ew no I don't want her to be my sister
Viridi: My nature is way more wild than that stupid farming
Palutena: Artemis? Goddess of wilderness and hunting?
Viridi: I don't HUNT animals and I don't really care about them all that much in general
Viridi: And she's mostly associated with the moon nowadays and I'm not
Palutena: Persephone? Goddess of spring?
Viridi: I DON'T WANNA BE HADES'S WIFE
Palutena: Gaia? Primordial goddess of the earth?
Pittoo: She's not that strong
Viridi: HOW DARE YOU
Hades: He's completely right for once
Palutena: I honestly can't think of anyone else, are you even based on anything from Greek myth?
Viridi: Probably not
Pit: Well I am (¬◡¬)✧
Viridi: Yeah yeah we all know that Icarus guy
Pit: Who's that (´･_･`)?
Pit: I was talking about that arrows guy :|
Hades: There's no way you don't know who Icarus is
Pit: I only know that he's who the series was named after
Palutena: And that's how things are going to stay
Palutena: And I'm not entirely sure if he's based on Eros since that was the closest thing to an angel in Greek myth and they both use a bow and arrow, but that's pretty much where the similarities end
Hades: Yeah I can just tell that Pitty Pat's not focused on love at all
Palutena: He did ask me if I was gonna give him a machine-gun-robot girlfriend once
Pit: Hey don't just give away my secrets >:(
Viridi: I can't believe this is our main character
Viridi: Some idiot who can't fly and is a complete doofus
Pit: Hey there's no need to bring up the flying thing >:[
Hades: I don't get why it's such a sensitive subject
Pittoo: Maybe because we're literally the only angels who can't fly
Viridi: But isn't that the only reason you two are alive
Pit: That's only time our wings have been helpful without one of you doing your magic stuff ╥﹏╥
Hades: But you never told me why!
Hades: It's very rude to leave everyone on a cliffhanger when it comes to such an important part of your character!
Palutena: I think it was something he was born with
Viridi: His wings grew when I used my power of flight so maybe they're just too small
Viridi: How could you not know
Hades: Yeah didn't you create Pitty
Palutena: He just works for me! I don't know who made him
Pittoo: Yet another thing you guys are hoping will be answered in the next game
Pit: The mythical next game that might not even happen ｡°(°¯᷄◠¯᷅°)°｡
Palutena: But seriously there are so many unanswered questions that I'm surprised we don't have another game yet
Hades: The Chaos Kin and it's entire existence, for instance
Pittoo: I've heard that some people think that viridian made it
Viridi: WHAT
Viridi: WHY
Viridi: HOW
Pit: A yellow eye is the symbol of your forces and the chaos kin has a yellow eye ·ࡇ·
Pittoo: And you had it
Viridi: THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING
Hades: Well we know it doesn't work for me
Palutena: And definitely not for me
Pittoo: You're the only major god left who it could work for
Viridi: No!
Viridi: They could always introduce its boss in the next game!
Viridi: Isn't there a Chaos in Greek myth?????
Palutena: Yeah but she is a little too powerful to introduce in only the third game in the series
Hades: Pitty fighting against Chaos before the Titans or Giants would just be ridiculous
Dyntos: It's also ridiculous for you gods to be more concerned with the lore of our video games rather than your responsibilities!
Palutena: Lord Dyntos???? Have you been lurking in the chat the whole time?
Dyntos: Of course I have! You five have been blowing up the notifications on this new phone for the past few hours!
Palutena: Oh, my apologies!
Viridi: You're such a suck up around him omg
Dyntos: You'd do well to learn to show a little more respect, lass!
Pittoo: I doubt this random god has done anything to warrant that much respect
Hades: Wow Pittooey, I can't believe you haven't heard of one of the canonically strongest characters in the whole series
Pittoo: How is this guy one of the most powerful gods
Pit: He made a bunch of pocket dimensions ᯣ_ᯣ
Viridi: He made almost all of the weapons in the game
Hades: He can make forgeries of almost any creature
Palutena: He put me to sleep when I was no where near him
Palutena: He magically transported phones into all of our hands, including Hades's dead self, despite us living in Ancient Greece
Dyntos: And don't forget that my Great Sacred Treasure is the entire reason Hades was defeated!
Pittoo: Geez alright he's powerful
Dyntos: You're darn right I am!
Dyntos: And since you five have been utterly annoying for the past few hours and getting none of your godly duties done, I'm deleting any and all ways of communication from your phones!
Viridi: Seriously?
Dyntos: Yes! You and Palutena need to get back to running your realms, Hades needs to get back to being dead, and those angels need to go be annoying somewhere else!
Dyntos: Get back to work!!!
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