Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sans kinda felt like he was dying. Despite the fact that he was a skeleton and he didn't technically need to breathe, it still felt pretty strange not to for a while. Especially considering that the reason he was unable to breathe was because he was trying so hard not to laugh.

He had woken up about five minutes ago and stared at his ceiling for a bit, as usual. He had been able to hear Papyrus downstairs, clanking pans around and making his usual morning noises. He'd groaned slightly, turning over. He could probably fall back to sleep and get just a few more minutes of...

"SANS!!! BREAKFAST!!!" came the summons. Sans had groaned again and pulled himself out of bed, knowing how futile it was to try and ignore his brother. He had dressed quickly and teleported straight into the kitchen, which had turned out to be a mistake. As soon as he caught sight of Papyrus, the urge to laugh had nearly overcome him and, not wanting to make Paps feel bad for any reason ever, he had began this new battle of air vs laughter in an attempt to stifle himself.

Sans could only see the back of what Papyrus was wearing, but dear god was that enough. His scarf was still there, but in place of his normal blue bottoms, he was wearing black (dare he even say it) booty shorts, and his usual red boots were replaced with a pair of high-heeled leather boots he must have gotten from Fell, and that was it. There was no other clothing on his brother. Not a single other scrap of cloth. Instead, he was painted in swirling colors, rainbows running along his ribs and the back of his skull and covering what you could see of his legs. 

At the sound of Sans's impending asphyxiation, Papyrus turned around in surprise. "OH! HELLO BROTHER! BREAKFAST IS WAITING ON THE TABLE!" He turned back to what he had been doing as though nothing was different. 

"Um..." Sans choked out "Bro..."

"YES, BROTHER?" 

"What the hell are you wearing?"

Papyrus spun back to face him, planting his hands on his hips and puffing out his bare ribs. His face was also decorated with rainbow paint, rubbed in stripes under his eye sockets like war paint. "I am going to go to a human parade with Undyne!" 

Sans took a few deep breaths, still trying not to laugh, as he sat down at the table in front of the food Papyrus had laid out for him. "That doesn't really answer my question. That is definitely not how you dressed for the Community Days parade last month," he said around a mouthful of eggs.

Papyrus gave him a look. "SANS! SWALLOW YOUR FOOD! It's not that kind of a parade! It's a happy parade! The humans dress up in rainbows and they walk all together to show their support for each other! It's a beautiful custom and it brings everyone closer together! Undyne says that it's a really big deal to the humans, and she asked me to come with her and Alphys! I think that a couple of the others are coming too!" 

Sans put some more food in his mouth, only kind of listening to what Papyrus was saying as he ate.

"Stretch and Fell should be there, and Red of course, Blue's coming with him...and I think I heard that Lust might be there..."

At that, Sans's head shot up. Papyrus grinned at him. "I don't suppose you might want to come, would you, brother?" he asked, a bit too innocently. 

X-X-X-X

What the hell have I gotten myself into? Sans thought to himself as he looked at himself in the mirror. Papyrus had insisted that if he was going to come this "happy parade" with him, he needed to dress up too! Sans had a suspicion that Papyrus had been planning to get Sans to come along for quite some time, because he had somehow already had an outfit for Sans to wear. 

Thankfully, it wasn't nearly as...interesting...as Papyrus's outfit. Instead, he had somehow been talked into wearing rainbow skinny jeans and a sleeveless black t-shirt with something printed on it that he didn't really understand, but that Papyrus had told him was apparently a pun. "Let's get one thing straight, I'm not" he mumbled to himself, reading the shirt. I'm not what? And where the hell had Papyrus found rainbow skinny jeans?

Sans groaned, not for the first time since looking at himself in the mirror. What was he doing?

Papyrus knocked loudly on the door. "SANS, IT IS TIME TO GO IF WE DO NOT WANT TO BE LATE!"

Sans sighed one last time and crossed his room, opening the door for his brother, who immediately assaulted him with paint-covered fingers until Sans had war paint to match his. "YOU LOOK PERFECT! NOW IT'S TIME TO GO!" he shouted joyfully as Sans staggered back from the attack. "Gee, thanks bro" he replied sarcastically after he recovered, holding out his arm to his brother. Papyrus grabbed it and held on, and Sans teleported them to Undyne's house, where everyone was apparently meeting. 

They appeared in the living room, and they were immediately greeted by a flying ball of energy that was Sans's counterpart from the Underswap universe. "Tale! You look fanstastic! You too, Comic!" Blue greeted them, using the names that they went by when they were in groups with the guys from the other universes. Blue was still wearing his blue bandanna, but it was now accompanied by a sleeveless green shirt with "BLUE BTCH" printed across the front in large white block letters, and a tiny pair of blue shorts that matched his scarf and the wristbands that had replaced his normal gloves. Instead of rainbow war paint, he was sporting stripes of blue, purple, and pink. Apparently the war stripes were a common theme. Blue and Tale started talking animatedly as Sans caught sight of his Underfell counterpart and his brother. He raised his browbone. Apparently Tale hadn't just borrowed the boots from Fell.

Fell was dressed in almost the exact same outfit as papyrus, except that instead of his normal red scarf, he was sporting a rainbow-striped one, and his body paint was much more artfully applied. He was lacking the war paint, but he'd made up for it by just having the patterns cover almost his entire face.

Next to him, Red was perhaps the most normal-looking out of all of them. He was in his normal black shorts and instead of his normal red shirt, he was wearing a black one. He still had his collar and red converses, but in place of his jacket, someone (cough Blue cough cough) had tied a rainbow flag around his neck like a cape. He, of course, had rainbow war paint under his eye sockets, and he looked phenomenally grumpy. Oh, joy. 

Comic made his way over to them, leaving Tale and Blue to do their normal thing. "Hey," he greeted the grumpy Red just as Fell got up and walked over to Stretch, who had just walked into the room.

"Hey," Red replied as they both looked over at the two of them. Papyrus's Underswap counterpart was wearing his normal cargo shorts, but his orange sweatshirt had been replaced with a t-shirt that was striped with black, gray, white, and purple. Across the front it said "I like to describe myself as ayyyyyyysexual" 

"What does that mean?" Comic asked Red. Red looked at him for a moment. "What does what mean?" he asked. Across the room, Stretch turned to face his brother for a moment, which allowed Sans to see that the back of his shirt said "Not really into sex, just really into puns"

"Ayyyyysexual," he said, facing Red. 

Red smirked "What, you didn't see the back of the shirt?" he asked. 

"Well, yeah, i saw that, but I'm assuming it's a pun of some kind, and i'd like to understand it so that i can make it later." Red turned to look at stretch again, then back to Comic, his expression one of disbelief. Comic continued, not noticing the look on Red's face. "Speaking of which, do you understand the one on my shirt? Because I don't and tibia honest, I never like to miss out on a pun." He looked up and grinned at Red, only just noticing how he was looking at him. "What?" he asked.

Undyne and Alphys came out of the back room, presumably having been putting the finishing touches on their outfits. Alphys wore just a rainbow dress with those war stripes under her eyes, but Undyne was decked out in rainbow pants and shirt, rainbow shoes, and had somehow managed to dye her hair rainbow. Undyne immediately jumped into the conversation with Tale and Blue while Undyne made her way over to Stretch and Fell

"Has Blue not told you about this stuff?" Red asked.

Comic shook his head, even more confused now. Red made a face. "Ugh. Okay. I'd have thought he would have, since he never really shuts up about it... I have no idea how to explain this to you. Do you know what we're doing?" he asked.

"My brother said it was a 'happy parade' and that the humans dress in rainbows to support each other."

Red chuckled slightly. "Well, I guess that's accurate. Okay... you know how humans can only make a kid if there's a male and a female involved?" Comic nodded. Monsters didn't use their physical bodies to reproduce, instead children were made when two monsters made a soul bond, and the two monsters could be any gender, species, whatever.

"Well, most of the humans decided that meant that only people of the opposite sex could love each other. Anyone who was different was hated and abused and told to repress their feelings."

Comic was aghast. "Humans aren't allowed to love each other just because of their genders?"

"They weren't," Red corrected, then he made another face, "Well, sort of still not. But it's gotten a lot better."

Comic was having a hard time wrapping his head around this concept. "Stupid fucking humans," he growled. 

Red grinned at that. "I know, right? Anyway, the humans have these gay pride parades where a bunch of humans all get together to, as Tale told you, support one another. It's actually pretty cool. Undyne found out about it a couple of months ago and made the mistake of telling Blue and Tale about it, and then they all had this great plan to get a bunch of us to go, since we're all, as Undyne so eloquently puts it, 'gay as hell'."

"Gay?" Comic asked, smiling at the realization that Tale really had been planning to get him to come for a while now. 

"Oh yeah. That's the word that humans use to describe people who like other people of the same gender. And, to explain your shirt, 'straight' is apparently what it's called when someone only likes people of the opposite gender."

"What about Stretch's shirt?"

"You know how Stretch isn't into the whole sex thing? That's also apparently frowned on with the humans, and it's got a name too. Asexual. And just to preface your asking, Blue's stripes are a different color because rainbows symbolize gay people and his stripes symbolize something called 'bisexual' where you like both genders," Red shrugged, "It all seems kind of complicated to me, but since Blue has found out it's a thing, he's been very into all of it. Have you been to our house lately?"

"Not since Christmas, I don't think."

"Well, that explains some things. There were a few months back around spring where he replaced all of our furniture with their rainbow versions. And since he found out that Lady Gaga is apparently popular among this crowd, he hasn't listened to anything else. It's absolutely fantastic."

Comic smirked. "Lucky you. Is that why you looked so grumpy over here?"

Red grinned. "Nah, I'm over all that by now. I just looked like that because I saw your lame ass walk in."

Comic snorted at that and smacked him on the back of the head. The first time he had met Red, it had been when he had accidentally transported he and his brother into his living room from their own universe. They weren't the first set of brothers to find their way there, but they had certainly been the edgiest. Blue, sitting on the couch next to comic, had immediately announced that the three of them were going to be best friends, much to everyone's amusement except Red's. The swap brothers had been the first to find their way here, and Blue had made this announcement with every new Sans that appeared. This was, to say the least, the first time it had worked out, although Comic was pretty sure not even Blue saw his love for and subsequent marriage to Red coming. And while Comic loved Blue like a brother, probably because he was just so much like his brother, Red was what Blue would call his "BFF"

"Aw, come on Comic, don't be like--" Red's laughing voice was interupted by a loud crack from outside that signalled someone had teleported. 

"That must be Lust and Pink!" exclaimed Blue, rushing to open the door.

Comic felt his face heat up, and he ducked his head to hide it. Unfortunately, he was either not fast enough or Red just knew him too well because he snickered and elbowed Comic in the ribs. "Wow dude, you better watch out or someone will think you like yourself a little too much."

Comic couldn't help his grin at that. Three years and these jokes were still a riot. "Red, you've literally been fucking yourself for almost three years."

"Hell yeah I am, who wouldn't want to fuck me?"

"Why thank you."

They dissolved into somewhat high-pitched giggles, almost missing the entrance of the Lust brothers. When Comic saw them, he almost choked on his own spit. And he didn't even have spit.

Their rainbow body paint was really quite impressive, seeming to incorporate a couple of the different kinds of colors that Red had mentioned earlier. They had apparently sprayed all of it down with some sort of gold glitter, because they sparkled with every movement. The thing that made Sans choke, however, was their clothes. Or rather, their complete lack of them.

Comic could see Red grinning at him from out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't tear his eyes away. He had no idea how to respond to this. Holy hell.

"I mean, if you had to like yourself, you could have picked one of the one's that isn't so full of modesty and shyness, I have no idea how you'll ever get that one to screw you," he heard Red say quietly from behind him, his voice full of sarcasm.

This was going to be the best fucking parade ever.

Chapter Text

“What’s up, bitches?” asked Lust as he sauntered across the room towards Red and Comic.

“Not a whole lot. Wondering why you don’t have any fucking clothes on, but otherwise I’m great,” drawled Red, openly looking the other up and down.

Lust just grinned and spread his arms so that the other could see him better. “Undyne did say that we’re supposed to dress flamboyantly, and since we’re skeletons and can’t really freak out any human kids, we just thought we’d not worry about the whole ‘clothes’ thing.”

“Well you certainly met your flamboyant quota for the year. Why do you have so many different pride flags in your paint?”

Lust grinned and turned so that they could see his back as he said, “We were looking over that list that Blue sent us of all the different flags, and we couldn’t find one that said ‘literally always down to fuck’, so Paps said we should just do all of them and tell people we’re ‘all-the-sexual’.”

Red snorted loudly, then turned to Sans, who still hadn’t been able to say a word since this had started. “You okay there, buddy?” he asked, amusement obvious in his tone.

Sans nodded quickly as Lust turned to look at him, tearing his eyes away from where the colors were painted across the other’s ribs. “Y-yeah,” he squeaked out, his voice much more high-pitched than usual.

Lust grinned. “Do you like it?” he asked, holding out his arms to display himself again.

All Sans could do was nod.

“Anyway,” said Red, thankfully directing the attention away from Sans’s blueing face. “Do you know when we’re gonna start headin’ over there?”

Lust shrugged. “Nah, I’m not really sure. I’m sure one of these overly excited people will let us know, though.”

Blue suddenly seemed to pop out of nowhere, grabbing on to Red’s hand and bouncing excitedly. “You and Pink look amazing!” he exclaimed.

“Speak of the devil,” Lust muttered under his breath, then he said more loudly, “Thanks, Blue.”

“Did you do each other’s paint or did you do it all on yourselves?”

“We did our own ribs but we had to have help with the rest. Couldn’t really reach it all myself. Didn’t exactly mind it though, especially when he had to help me do the--”

“Hey Blue,” interrupted Red. “Do you know when we’re taking off?”

Blue, as easily distracted as he was, still seemed to know there was something off about the timing of that interruption because he looked at Lust curiously before turning to Red. “We’ll go in just a few minutes!” he answered excitedly. “We were going to wait for the SwapFell brothers, but apparently they’re meeting us there!”

Red looked confused for a moment. “Razz and Slim were going to come with us?”

“Well, no, but they were going to go to the parade and when Tale found out, he tried to invite them to come with us.”

“Ah...I’m guessing he was not successful.”

“Not exactly!” Blue smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Red’s temple. “I just wanted to say hi to Lust, I’m going to go talk to Tale now! I’ll come grab you when we’re ready to leave!” And with that, he skipped back over to his best friend.

The three of them watched him go, then Lust said, “How is a grown adult with my face so fucking adorable ?”

Red burst into laughter, and Sans smiled, his blush fading slightly.

“So, how’re we doing this whole transportation thing?” asked Fell loudly, obviously trying to get the others moving.

“I can take three at a time,” Sans volunteered, “So I’ve got Paps and Alphyne,”

They all sorted themselves out, getting into groups and making sure that everyone knew where they were going. Then, with a succession of pops , they all appeared off to the side of a large courtyard.

It was crowded with humans, with the occasional monster here and there, and Sans’s jaw almost dropped at some of the outfits. It seemed Papyrus had been right about the fashion choices.

“Hey sluts!” came a shout in a familiar voice from somewhere in the crowd. They all turned to look, and a moment later, they spotted Razz, in the middle of being lifted onto Slim’s shoulders.

Slim was clothed much like Red, with plain clothes accompanied by a rainbow flag as a cape. Both brothers were lacking in the war paint the others sported, but Razz seemed to match the other’s extravagance. Like Fell and Papyrus, he was dressed in nothing but his bandana, a pair of shorts, and a set of his high-heeled boots, and the rest of him was covered in body paint, blue and pink stripes covering his torso, arms, and legs.

When they reached the group, Razz leaned forward, putting his elbows on Slim’s head and propping his chin in his hands. He was grinning, but it wasn’t the usual malicious smile Sans had come to expect from the little shit. It was a real smile, full of excitement. Sans sometimes forgot how much he and Blue looked alike when Razz wasn’t being a pissant.

“You should see some of the stuff they have here!” he said, smiling down at them and seeming to enjoy his new height. “There’s a float just for girls, and they’re all so nice! They gave me kisses on my face and they--”

Slim coughed pointedly, and Razz immediately straightened, seeming to force his face into a frown.

“I mean...This is fine, I guess. Not up to the Magnificent and Malicious Sans’s standards, but close enough to participate.” His voice was monotone, and he looked and sounded almost bored if Sans hadn’t been able to see the way his eyelights were still sparkling.  

Slim grinned at all of them and winked, earning several smirks from members of their party.

“So, where do we go to be as gay as possible?” Lust asked, putting his hands on his hips and looking around the square.

Stretch snorted. “Dude, you’re already there, don’t worry about it.”

Pink snorted, then hid it quickly and ineffectively behind a loud cough. Lust just grinned back at him and winked. “Don’t I know it.”

“Come on,” said Razz, kicking his feet slightly and gesturing for them all to follow him into the crowd as Slim turned and began to walk. “We found a float that said some extra members would be awesome!” His excitement appeared to be back, and Sans found himself getting caught up in it all.

X-X-X-X

Almost an hour later, they found themselves assigned to a float, a large, multi-colored thing manned by several humans who seemed incredibly excited to have monsters in attendance and drawing so much attention to them and their program.

The floats ahead of them were beginning to pull out, starting the parade, and the person in charge of theirs watched carefully, waiting for the signal.

“Are we ready? Yeah? Okay, go ahead!”

With a small lurch, the float began to move. Blue was jumping up and down excitedly, clutching onto Red’s arm. Red had a long-suffering look on his face as he was shaken, but there was excitement flashing in his eyelights.

All five Papyruses had chosen to walk alongside, with Razz still on Slim’s shoulders. Fell had Stretch and Pink by the hands, raising them above their heads as Papyrus practically ran excited circles around them.

Sans grinned down at his brother, looking around and taking in the vast multitude that surrounded them.

The crowd on the other side of the dividers was huge . It extended almost beyond where he could see, thousands of people with little rainbow flags, dressed in all different ways, accompanied by all manner of friends and partners.

Sans looked behind him, locking eyes with Lust. He was surprised to see that the other’s soul had formed as he looked over the crowd, and as they made eye contact, he could see it pulse slightly, glowing with his purple magic that was visible even in the bright light of day. They grinned at each other for a moment before Lust extended a hand, grabbing onto Sans’s arm and pulling him closer to him.

Sans felt his face burning brightly as Lust wrapped an arm around the top of his shoulders, popping out a hip so that it tapped against Sans’s, making him laugh.

Lust winked, then let go and strode up to the railing on the edge of the float, leaning over it and shouting to the crowd. The majority of the people cheered and happily shouted back.

There was suddenly a huge cheer running through the crowd, and Sans looked over his shoulder to see Red and Blue just breaking out of a kiss. Blue’s arms were wrapped around the tops of his husband’s shoulders, Red’s hands gripping onto his hips as they both laughed at the reaction of the crowd.

Blue said something that Sans couldn't hear, and Red let go of him, grinning. Blue then climbed to the top of the float, waving excitedly at everyone as he went. Red watched him go, almost heartachingly deep affection on his face, before looking away and at Sans, who winked at him. His friend turned bright red, flipping him off quickly before going to the other side of the float, shouting something down at his brother.

Fell shouted back with a grin, still gripping tightly onto his partners, both of which were interacting excitedly with the crowd. Sans didn't think he had ever seen Stretch look so energetic. Suddenly, the other’s face completely lit up and he let go of Fell in favor of running off to the side, fist-bumping a member of the crowd that had the same sweatshirt as him before running back, laughing.

“Sans!”

He turned back to see Lust gesturing at him to come back to the railing. Cocking a brow, he obeyed, joining his alternate in waving to the crowd.

The SwapFell brothers were in front of them, walking alongside the float. Razz was laughing at something someone had shouted at him, looking happier than Sans had ever seen him before. He was intermittently letting himself fall back out of a sitting position, hanging upside-down only by Slim keeping hold of his legs. He would grip onto his brother’s rainbow cape, sitting back up and pulling the cloth with him, waving it in the air before letting it flutter back down again. Slim was just patiently holding on to his brother, shooting the occasional wink or one-liner into the crowd.

Sans felt someone grip onto his hand and looked to the side, confused. Lust was grinning saucily at him, and Sans found himself blushing when he saw the vaguely heart-shaped eyelights of the other.

“Wanna give them something to really cheer about?” Lust asked, sticking out his purple tongue. Sans hesitated for about half a second before nodding vigorously. His face was burning, and, to his surprise, he could see a light dusting of color across Lust’s cheekbones.

Lust pulled on his arm, tugging him closer before reaching up with his free hand and lightly tugging on Sans’s chin, moving his own face closer as he let his eyes hood partially shut. Sans could feel his soul pulsing with nervousness and excitement, his surroundings stopping away any reservations he normally would have had. He reached out with one hand, fingers brushing against the other's clavicle, starting to close his own eyes.

“SANS!!! LOOK AT WHAT THE NICE HUMANS GAVE ME!”

Sans sprang back at the sound of his brother's voice, blushing furiously. Lust’s eyes were wide and his face was bright purple, but he grinned widely as he rubbed the back of his neck and turned back to the crowd.

Sans stared after him for a moment, trying to sort out the thoughts in his head, before turning to the back of the float, where his brother was following behind. He was waving a huge flag, emblazoned with several symbols and stripes of color, the words LOVE WINS emblazoned across the center.

Undyne was walking next to Papyrus, holding her smaller fiancee under one arm like a sack of potatoes as Alphys blushed furiously.

“Looks flag ulous, Paps!” Sans shouted back, grinning at the look on his brother's face and the snort he earned from the naked skeleton beside him.

“That was awful,” Red muttered from his other side, but he was still grinning and looking very pointedly between Sans and Lust before winking and making a motion that would normally have had Blue lecturing him about lewd behavior.

Sans flipped him off before rejoining Lust, who thankfully had not been paying attention, at the rail. He began waving again at the enormous amounts of joyous supporters that surrounded them, taking it all in and letting it wash over him. Papyrus was right. This was an amazing community.