Chapter Text
“No! I won’t apologize because I didn’t do anything wrong!” My voice rang through the room as everyone looked exhausted.
It was two in the morning. We had just finished a concert, and we should’ve been heading home by now—but no. Instead, I had to defend myself because of that brat. I hated him so much.
“And you think Tee would lie?” I looked at P’ Yim in disbelief. It had never been a secret that everyone favored their beloved brat.
“So just because he supposedly can’t lie, you’re all going to insist that it was me? I didn’t do it. I didn’t start a fight!”
I caught the sharp look P’ First shot me, but I brushed it off. Of course he would side with whatever Teetee said.
“There are videos all over the internet right now, Gems! People are angry. People want answers! Teetee is our—” I noticed the hesitation on P’ Tutor’s face, and I couldn’t stop the bitter laugh that escaped me.
“Teetee is your golden maknae? Your money-maker, so I’m the one getting pushed aside instead? Just say it outright!”
The room fell silent as tears streamed down my face.
“I trained with all of you. We spent the same years working hard together. I understand that Tee is the youngest. I understand that he’s beloved—more popular, more handsome, like he already has everything. But I’m your member too. I’m just as young as Teetee.”
None of them even looked at me.
P’ Firstone and P’ Kong stood protectively in front of Teetee, as if I would hurt him at any moment.
“Alright. Let’s say Teetee really was the one who started the fight. Then what was the reason? What exactly did he say or do that made you punch him?” P’ Latte asked, his voice controlled and his face unreadable.
“If I tell my side of the story, would you guys even believe me?”
No one answered. No one even looked my way.
And right then, I realized that no matter how much I fought for my innocence, no matter how desperately I tried to explain myself, they would never understand. They would never believe me.
“See? You guys don’t even care.”
I left the room with tears streaming down my face.
I walked out of the company wearing nothing but my hoodie and sweatpants. I didn’t even bring my wallet or anything else with me. I just kept walking until my legs could barely carry me anymore.
It hurt.
It felt like all those years I spent training had gone down the drain. I didn’t understand what happened. I didn’t understand where everything went wrong.
Before, we were happy.
They used to protect me the same way they were protecting Teetee now. But something changed the moment he debuted in a new group called Dexx. His popularity skyrocketed. He stopped being just our youngest member—suddenly, everyone wanted him. Suddenly, he became the most important person in the room.
Originally, we were a nine-member group. People loved us. People supported us.
Then P’ Tle and P’ First debuted as a duo. After that, P’ Keng and P’ Namping followed. Soon, P’ Thomas, P’ Latte, and P’ Kong started getting invited by different fashion houses.
And somehow, I was the only one left behind.
Every time I asked when our comeback would happen, the answer always depended on Teetee’s schedule and availability.
Even my solo debut got postponed because he was starring in a drama with his other groupmate, and apparently, that was the priority. People became obsessed with their ship, and the company focused entirely on promoting it.
Eventually, I stopped asking about my solo, my schedules, or my future.
I just attended whatever events they told me to attend. I practiced whenever I had free time. I accepted everything quietly because despite all of it, I was still proud of them.
However, when our comeback was finally announced, everyone acted like it was the most inconvenient thing in the world.
We were never complete during preparations because someone always had another schedule to attend, another show to film, or another “priority” event. Throughout all the rehearsals, I stayed quiet. I never complained when we had to start early or end late just to adjust to their schedules.
Then the biggest change hit me harder than anything else.
I realized they all understood each other now in ways I no longer could. They talked about people, events, and experiences they had shared together while I sat there in silence. I didn’t know those people. I didn’t know those events.
I knew nothing.
And eventually, I accepted that too.
When the concert was announced, I was genuinely happy. But once we got on stage, I felt more like a background dancer than an actual member. I only appeared for a few seconds before disappearing behind everyone else again.
Even then, I was grateful.
I was thankful they still let me stand in the center, even if it only lasted five seconds.
When you’re standing on stage, you notice everything—the banners, the cheering fans, the overwhelming lights, and the people calling your name. But that night, it felt like they all came for the others.
I managed to spot my fan club in the crowd, and somehow, that alone made me happy enough.
So I accepted everything.
I stayed quiet.
I was simply grateful to still be part of it.
Then it happened.
The concert had just ended, and I was about to head back to my dressing room when I heard Teetee’s voice behind me, filled with mockery.
“I’m surprised he’s still here. No one even wants him anymore.”
Laughter followed.
“Just let him stay delusional. Nobody wants to be part of that group anymore, yet he still refuses to leave. He’s nothing.”
Something inside me snapped.
Before I could stop myself, I lunged at him and punched him straight in the face. Unfortunately, some crazy fans caught the entire thing on video and uploaded it online.
And now, everyone wanted me to apologize to Teetee.
I know I shouldn’t have hit him.
I know violence was wrong.
But hearing those words from him hurt more than I could explain. I didn’t realize that was how they all saw me now.
Nothing.
Just someone delusional enough to hope for more.
Exhausted, I eventually sat down on one of the benches overlooking the river. The water looked peaceful, and for a moment, I felt an overwhelming urge to disappear into it.
“Don’t.”
I froze when I heard the voice beside me. Deep. Calm. Serious.
I wanted to look up and see his face, but somehow, I couldn’t move.
“You’re better than them,” he said quietly. “Tomorrow, everything will be alright.”
Those simple words broke something inside me. They loosened every emotion I had been desperately trying to keep buried.
“Go ahead and cry. No one’s going to judge you.”
And he didn’t.
He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t force me to explain myself. He simply stayed there beside me, offering nothing but his silent presence.
For me, that was enough.
That night, I cried until my chest hurt while the rest of the world judged me for reacting to the pain they never bothered to understand.
Meanwhile, this stranger—someone I didn’t even know—sat quietly beside me without hesitation or judgment.
He was just there.
Existing silently while I slowly fell apart.
He didn’t know it, but simply staying beside me was already enough to start putting me back together.