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    Summary

    You know, Crawler, historians used to have a fascinating habit.

    Two men would live together for forty years. They'd share a house. Share a bed. Raise a cat together. Leave each other everything in their wills. Write letters so disgustingly affectionate that they make romance novels look emotionally constipated.

    And historians would look at all of this and conclude:

    "What close friends."

    Amazing.

    Truly a level of denial normally reserved for cult leaders, reality television contestants, and people who think they're "just being nice."

    Now, to be fair, housing costs are terrible. Sometimes two fully grown men do end up sharing an apartment. Sometimes they do sleep in the same bed. Sometimes they do spend every waking moment worrying about each other. Sometimes they do accidentally build a life together.

    But eventually, Crawler, there comes a point where you're not fooling anybody anymore.

    Not the audience.

    Not the cat.

    And definitely not yourselves.

    REWARD:
    You've unlocked the passive skill: Heterosexuality (Contested).

    The effectiveness of this skill decreases every time you call your roommate "family."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
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    Chapters:
    21/?
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