Chapter Text
[Calls for Help]
1:09am, 4/26/10: ieatmyfeelings added Cruel King, GR13F3R, Red & Blue, Calypso, and Cassie to the Group Chat [Calls for Help]!
GR13F3R: …
GR13F3R: pl4y3r, wh4t th3 ####
GR13F3R: 1t’s 1 1n th3 m0rn1ng
ieatmyfeelings: Well, what are you doing at the devil’s sacrament?
GR13F3R: w04h w04h w04h th3r3 pl4y3r
GR13F3R: 1 k33p f0rg3tt1ng ur s0 t4lk4t1v3 0v3r t3xts
ieatmyfeelings: I suppose. It’s easier when I’m not face to face with people.
GR13F3R: 1 g3t th4t.
ieatmyfeelings: If you stopped using leetspeak over text, would you type faster?
GR13F3R: s0 why r u up 4g41n?
GR13F3R: 0h 1 s33 h0w 1t 1s, punk
[ieatmyfeelings reacted with ‘Haha!’]
GR13F3R: 1’m n0t g1v1ng up l33tsp34k 3v3n 0v3r t3xt
ieatmyfeelings: Did typing normally kill your grandma?
GR13F3R: W0rs3. 1t k1ll3d my m0th3r.
ieatmyfeelings: Oh.
GR13F3R: …JK!
GR13F3R: g3t s0m3 sl33p, w0n’t y0u?
GR13F3R: y0u’ll n33d 1t 1f y0u w4nn4 k33p s4v1ng th3 w0rld
ieatmyfeelings: You can’t be talking.
GR13F3R: y34h y34h p0t & k3ttl3
ieatmyfeelings: Fine. Good night.
GR13F3R: g00d n1ght! try n0t t0 dr34m 0f m3!
[Calls for Help]
5:20am, 4/26/10
Cruel King: Sometimes I wish ghosts and spirits that have yet to depart could sleep. I was not a willing witness to that.
ieatmyfeelings: Good morning, all. Rise and grind!
ieatmyfeelings: Oh, why is that, Cruel King? Witness to what?
Cruel King: ...Nevermind.
Cassie: goodmorning everyone! is this everyone who used to be a sword wielder??
ieatmyfeelings: Nope.
Cassie: oh… master Telamon and mayor Thaniyel arent here. whos Red & Blue?
ieatmyfeelings: Just some kids I picked up along my journey for the Ghostwalker. They’re awesome.
Cassie: aww thats sweet
Cassie: I should probably go get ready now
Cassie: bye!
ieatmyfeelings: Being Queen of Trinity can’t be easy. Have a good day!
Cassie: thanks for your support player!!
Cruel King: Huh. You’ve befriended another monarch.
ieatmyfeelings: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ieatmyfeelings: What can I say? You’re all just too weak to my charms.
Cruel King: ‘Charms’ is an interesting way of saying battle prowess.
Cruel King: …Please don’t say you pummeled the Queen of Trinity like you did to me.
ieatmyfeelings: Quite the contrary! I’m disappointed in your lack of faith in me.
GR13F3R: G0DS WHY 4R3 Y0U 4LL UP S0 34RLY
GR13F3R: TH3 SUN 1SN’T 3V3N UP Y3T
ieatmyfeelings: Griefer! We missed you.
ieatmyfeelings: And yep!
Cruel King: It’s barely been fifteen minutes.
GR13F3R: 0h w0w 1s th4t th3 bl4ckr0ck k1ng
GR13F3R: 1sn’t h3 d34d
ieatmyfeelings: Haha… don’t worry about that.
Cruel King: Tsk… Youths these days. If you deigned to scroll towards the beginning of today’s message log, you’d have your questions answered.
GR13F3R: h3’s th3 guy y0u b34t up f0r th3 1c3d4gg3r! th4t’s s0 s1ck
ieatmyfeelings: Yep, thanks.
GR13F3R: 4nyw4ys, pl4y3r
GR13F3R: w3 0nly sl3pt f0r 4 h0urs!!!
ieatmyfeelings: I woke up early to fight with Finn Mccool, before the midday sun of the Scorched Dunes would pose too much of a hindrance.
GR13F3R: 0h 1 s33
Cruel King: Mm… icy.
GR13F3R: U l1k3 sp4rr1ng w1th f1nn mcc00l th4t much??
ieatmyfeelings: Him and his friends make for great entertainment!
Cruel King: ?
Cruel King: Why are they ignoring me now. Did I finally cultivate my ghost status to a level where mortals will not bother me at last?
ieatmyfeelings: Oh, speaking of which, Cruel King! Could you accompany me to battle Finn Mccool?
Cruel King: Goddammit.
GR13F3R: 0i!!!!
GR13F3R: why 4r3 y0u 4sk1ng th3 d34d guy 4nd n0t m3???
GR13F3R: 1’m 4lw4ys d0wn t0 k1ck c4ns w1th U!!!
ieatmyfeelings: Aw, really? Sounds good! Just don’t faint so easily this time, won’t you?
GR13F3R: h3ll y34h! 1’ll m33t U th3r3!!
Cruel King: …
Cruel King: ……
Cruel King: I’ll take it.
3:23pm, 4/26/10
[Calls for Help]
Red & Blue: AHHHDGSFTVEK HOW DID THGE FIGHT GO!!!
Red & Blue: i can’t believe we were asleep for that 😭
Red & Blue: can we b invited to the next one??
Red & Blue: PLZ!!
Red & Blue: 🥺🥺🥺
ieatmyfeelings: It went great! And yeah, for sure.
GR13F3R: W3 R34LLY SH0W3D F1NN MCC00L & H1S G4NG WH0’S B0SS!!
Red & Blue: YAY!!!
ieatmyfeelings: Yes, precisely!
GR13F3R: huh, h0ld 0n…
GR13F3R: 1 sw34r 1’v3 w0rk3d w1th y0u k1ds b3f0r3
Red & Blue: o maybe u worked with our uncle??
Red & Blue: YEAH UNC NOOBADOO!
Red & Blue: noobador*
GR13F3R: th4t’s pr0b4bly 1t
Cruel King: Are you kids sharing a phone, perchance?
Red & Blue: YEH
Red & Blue: we r, how’d u know?
Cruel King: …Lucky guess.
Red & Blue: WOW u must b really lucky!!
Cruel King: …Yes.
GR13F3R: ur uncl3 n0t r1ch 3n0ugh t0 buy y0u b0th ph0n3s?
Red & Blue: that, & he doesn’t want us to b addicted!!
Red & Blue: DID BLUE SPELL TGAT RIGHT
Cruel King: Yes. Nice work.
GR13F3R: sur3 d1d, buck0!
Red & Blue: AW thx griefer!!
[ieatmyfeelings reacted with ‘Haha!’]
Cruel King: …
Cruel King: You’re all getting iced out.
Calypso: …Ironic
Calypso: But that’s besides my point
Calypso: This ‘group chat’ has been blowing up all day
ieatmyfeelings: Calypso, glad to see you.
Calypso: Player, is there a point to this?
ieatmyfeelings: ?
Red & Blue: wdym??
GR13F3R: 0h, y0u m34n wh4t th1s gr0up ch4t w4s m4d3 f0r?
GR13F3R: 1 w4s w0nd3r1ng th4t t00, 4ctu4lly
Cassie: me three!
Cruel King: More lurkers, I see.
[Calypso reacted with a thumbs up!]
Cassie: yeah its hard to respond often
Cassie: being queen and all
Cassie: but I do when I can!!
Cruel King: Mn, respectable.
GR13F3R: s0, pl4y3r?
Red & Blue: YEA TELL US!!!
ieatmyfeelings: Well…
ieatmyfeelings: It’s a little obvious, but…
Cruel King: Tsk… Youths these days.
ieatmyfeelings: You all are the allies I call when I need help. I trust you all to have my back. And it’s convenient to have you all in one place.
ieatmyfeelings: Hence the name of the group chat. Which may be a little too on the nose, now that I’m thinking about it...
GR13F3R: N0 1 L1K3 1T!!!
GR13F3R: 1T’S P3RF3CT!
[ieatmyfeelings reacted with a heart!]
ieatmyfeelings: Really? Thanks, Brad…
GR13F3R: !!!
Cruel King: Free(ze) me.
Cruel King: No, actually. Help me. I’m calling for help.
Cassie: aww
Cassie: so cute!!!
Calypso: The name is fine
Calypso: Communicates the main purpose efficiently
[ieatmyfeelings reacted with a heart!]
Red & Blue: YEAH WE LIKE IT TO
Red & Blue: too*
[ieatmyfeelings reacted with a heart!]
ieatmyfeelings: I’m happy to hear that, truly.
8:57pm, 4/26/10
[Calls for Help]
GR13F3R: y0 pl4y3r!
ieatmyfeelings: Yes?
GR13F3R: d0 U w4nn4 c0me 0v3r t0m0rr0w? 1 c4n t34ch U h0w t0 pl4y Gr33n G00p!!!!
ieatmyfeelings: Yeah!
ieatmyfeelings: I’ll be there at ten!
GR13F3R: t3n 4M??? d4mn th4t’s k1nd4 34rly
ieatmyfeelings: I can come later, if you want.
GR13F3R: N4H, T3N 1S G00D!
Red & Blue: OOH OO CAN WE COME TOO
Red & Blue: please mr griefer!! we’ve been wanting to learn for so long now!!
GR13F3R: why 4r3n’t y0u k1ds asl33p y3t??
GR13F3R: but y34h 0k4y
Red & Blue: YAY!!!
ieatmyfeelings: Well, it is only nine o’clock.
GR13F3R: sh0uldn’t th4t b3 wh3n f1ve y34r 0lds sl33p?
GR13F3R: w41t
Red & Blue: we’re not 5!
Red & Blue: WERE 9!!!!
Red & Blue: we’re*
GR13F3R: why 4r3 U c4ll1ng f1v3 y34r 0lds t0 ass1st U 1n b4ttl3, pl4y3r
GR13F3R: s0rry, n1n3 y34r 0lds
GR13F3R: s4m3 d1ff3r3nc3
ieatmyfeelings: Hahaha…
ieatmyfeelings: After I helped them thrash their parents, they were pretty grateful…?
Red & Blue: YEAH!!!
Red & Blue: #### GREEN ND PURPLE!!!!
GR13F3R: huuuuuuh… 1 gu3ss…
Cassie: woah woah woah!
Cassie: whos swearing around the five year olds!!
Cassie: theyll have to answer to ME!
Red & Blue: oh i think our uncle said ####
Red & Blue: IDK WHAT IT MEANS but its funny!! and grown p!!
Red & Blue: it’s* up*
Cassie: hmph
GR13F3R: w0w, y0ur uncl3 h4s b4lls
[Calypso reacted with a thumbs down!]
Cruel King: Ha!
Cassie: !!!! YOU.
GR13F3R: MYB4D
ieatmyfeelings: Yeah, Brad, nothing crude around the nine year olds.
Cassie: theyre nine??
Cassie: thats better I guess…
Cassie: but still!!
Cruel King: …
ieatmyfeelings: Oh hey, Cassie, since you’re here now.
ieatmyfeelings: Do you want to hang out with the four of us tomorrow morning? No pressure, since your schedule must be packed.
Cassie: oh I would love to!!!
Cassie: I’m sure the trinity can handle my absence for a bit!! they like you after you saved me, even old Reginald!
ieatmyfeelings: Great!
ieatmyfeelings: I wonder if Calypso could be tempted to join…
ieatmyfeelings: I do still have some spare shawarmas and hot leaf juice.
[Calypso reacted with two exclamation marks!]
Calypso: …Oh?
ieatmyfeelings: And Cruel King can be summoned at any time!
Cruel King: Save me.
ieatmyfeelings: Isn’t this great, Brad? I can’t wait for you to meet everyone!
GR13F3R: …y34h.
GR13F3R: sur3.
GR13F3R: ####
ieatmyfeelings: No swearing!
Cruel King: There are children present.
Calypso: Don’t swear
Cassie: such foul language around children!!
GR13F3R: …
GR13F3R: th4t w4s 4 typ0!!
GR13F3R: & 1 th1nk th3y f3ll asl33p 4nyw4y
ieatmyfeelings: It’s the sentiment that counts.
Cassie: who knows!! what if they scroll up in the morning!!!
Cruel King: Tsk…
Cruel King: They won’t.
Calypso: They have before, you know
Cruel King: They won’t. Not after they hang around that jester of a plant.
GR13F3R: gh0st k1ng 0v3r h3r3 r34lly pull1ng 0ut 4ll h1s k1ngly punch3s, huh
Cruel King: What does that even mean.
GR13F3R: …y’kn0w, 1 th1nk 1’ll c4ll 1t a n1ght h3r3
GR13F3R: g00dn1ght, pl4y3r! cya t0m0rr0w, punk
ieatmyfeelings: Good night, Brad!
Cruel King: …
Cruel King: I knew I shouldn’t have given Player my call card.
[Calypso reacted with a thumbs up!]