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Qifrey’s footsteps echoed against the stone walls as he climbed the spiral staircase toward the pillared entrance of the Great Hall. When he reached the deserted landing, he stepped out into the cool night air, the wind setting the ribbon of his cap adrift behind him as he looked up at the star-filled sky. It was a beautiful night.
With a sigh, he walked over to the rocky ledge behind the entrance of the Great Hall and lowered himself to the ground. He drew up his knees and draped his forearms over them, staring out at the rippling waves under the moonlit sky. Ever since he was brought to this place… no, that wasn’t right. Ever since he began allowing himself to imagine a future beyond the walls of the Great Hall, he’d dreamed of finding his own place in the world somewhere under this vast sky. And now that he had the papers granting him the right to take on his own apprentices as an independent witch, that day had finally come, and it scared him more than he wanted to admit.
No matter how many times he asked, Olruggio wouldn’t take the Fifth Pentagram Test. Qifrey knew beyond a doubt, as did Olruggio’s master, that Olruggio had the talent and the skill to pass without much effort. But whenever Qifrey would ask, his friend would only insist that he didn’t have what it took to have his own apprentices. That he’d never be able to promise wholeheartedly that their needs would come first above all else. Their elders would shake their heads and tell him that he could make a bigger difference if he taught a new generation of witches to help the common people the way Olruggio always wanted, instead of focusing all his time on his smaller, local projects. And Qifrey would always pretend he didn’t know what Olruggio really meant.
The crunch of rocks under boots sounded behind him, and he looked up to see Olruggio emerging from the Great Hall’s entrance. He had a bottle of wine in his hand, and his lips lifted in a smile when he caught sight of his childhood friend.
“Found ya, Qifrey. What’re you doing up here by yourself?”
Qifrey glanced up at him, returning his warm smile with a small one of his own. “Just thinking back on some old memories.”
Olruggio reached his side and sat down next to him with a grunt. “Is that right? Thinking about the time you came out here all on your own when you were just—” He raised a hand to about chest height. “—yea high and got us trapped on the other side of that windowway, eh?”
Qifrey allowed himself a chuckle and lowered his chin to the forearm he had propped up on his knees. “The first of many wonderful adventures with you outside these walls, yes. And now, we’re soon going to be leaving the Great Hall the right way this time, as proper witches, and it…”
“It doesn’t feel the same as it did before, does it?” Olruggio finished. “By the way, congratulations on passing the Fifth Pentagram Test. I knew you would.”
Leaving his question unanswered, Qifrey let his gaze settle on the water below them. “Master Beldaruit told me you were offered a research appointment at the Great Hall with one of their master scholars. It’s a remarkable offer, Olly. This place needs someone gifted and good-hearted like you to design the next generation of magical engineering systems. You’d change lives.”
“Thanks, Qifrey. Now say it like you mean it.”
Qifrey’s eyes narrowed with a huff. “I’m being serious here, Olruggio. You—” He turned to his companion, and his words cut off in surprise as the opened bottle of wine was thrust into his hands. He turned it over absently to peer at the label. “Aged Silvernectar wine. This is the bottle you’ve been saving for a really long time.”
Olruggio grinned and nudged his arm, encouraging him to take the first swig. “We both got promoted, I think we’ve earned the right to enjoy it.”
They passed the bottle between them, drinking side by side as Qifrey recounted the details of how he passed the trials of the Fifth Test for Olruggio. The night grew deeper and more chilly as they talked, but the sweet alcohol warmed them from the inside, and neither of them moved to get up even after the bottle emptied.
This was a good thing. Maybe all of this meant that it was time to leave Olruggio behind for good. Qifrey would establish his own rural atelier, and Olruggio would have a stable, prestigious position here at the Great Hall where his brilliance would be best put to use. His dearest friend now had a reason to leave his side, and he could finally be free of the guilt that had been eating at him for keeping the man he now knew would go to the ends of the earth for him at arm’s length. He was so tired of seeing the confusion and unease on Olruggio’s face that always reappeared whenever he began suspecting something again, knowing something was off but not knowing why. He had always been too clever, too perceptive… too kind for his own good.
A throbbing pain pounded in his head at the thought. His fist reflexively came up to grasp at the front of his robes, and he forced himself to keep his response contained under his cloak where Olruggio wouldn’t see his knuckles turn white. He stared down at the vast expanse of darkness in the waves below, fighting back the familiar pain as a chill settled deep inside him, and he drew his cloak tighter around him. The Silverwood wouldn’t even allow him this kind of painful peace without breaking his promise to Olruggio. But if Olruggio decided to stay here, then Qifrey wouldn’t be breaking their pact on his end. All he had to do was let him go.
“Here.”
Olruggio’s deep voice broke through his thoughts and cut through the lancing pain building behind his right eye. He turned his head to look at Olruggio again, who was now holding out a floppy pouch with several glyphs drawn into its leather surface.
“It’s gettin’ cold out here. Hold this—it’ll warm you up.”
Qifrey let Olruggio set the pouch in his palms and gazed down at the sigils in wonder. The pouch was so comfortably warm. Cautiously, he hugged it to his midsection, and a gentle heat emanating from the fluid-filled pouch began to thaw something inside him. It reminded him so much of the warmth he felt many times before from Olruggio himself.
“I came up with this last week. This past winter has been a cruel one, and I’ve been looking for a way to keep people warm when they travel in bad weather, or if their homes aren’t built well enough to keep the cold out. It should last longer than stone warmers and can be used when winds like this would make flames harder to contain. It’s not as portable as I’d like, and you have to redraw the glyph inside the bag once in a while to reheat the water, but I’ll keep working on it.”
“Incredible, Olly. This… this is really good work.”
Olruggio leaned back on his hands and rubbed a finger under his nose in a transparently false show of modesty.
“Ah, it wasn’t anything too complicated. Fire and water. They often work in opposition, but sometimes they work best together.”
Didn’t they know that all too well.
“So have you decided what you’re going to do?” Olruggio’s smug grin was still on his face as he tilted his head slightly at his friend. “Still planning on living under the stars?”
Qifrey held back the fond smile tugging at his lips and leaned back into the grass, the warm water pouch still clutched to his chest beneath crossed arms. He gazed up at the sky, past the countless glittering stars overhead.
“Yes. I’m going to establish my own atelier away from this place. I’ll take on my own apprentices and teach them how beautiful magic can be when it’s used to help people, to protect them and bring joy to their lives.”
Magic like yours. Magic that you continue to shape into something that makes this world better, while I’ve only ever strengthened my own to chase after revenge and avoid what I fear.
Olruggio fell backward into the grass next to Qifrey with a sigh and folded his arms behind his head. “Where do you think we should build it?”
Something tightened in Qifrey’s chest at that.
“We?”
Olruggio turned his head to face him with a strange look in his gray-blue eyes. “Yeah, we. It’s always been ’we,’ Qifrey. Ever since we were kids.”
He had been too hopeful. After all the times Olruggio offered to give up his memories to be able to remain by Qifrey’s side, even if Olruggio would never remember doing so… he should’ve known Olruggio would never accept a position here, knowing Qifrey’s heart had always lain beyond the rigid confines of the Great Hall.
Qifrey looked back up at the sky, turning away just enough that Olruggio wouldn’t be able to see his good eye from where he lay at Qifrey’s right. He’d been lying to Olruggio for so many years now that his soft voice gave nothing away when he spoke again.
“You are my oldest and most treasured friend, Olly. You know this. But you didn’t take the Fifth Pentagram Test. You can’t take on any formal apprentices. You’d be better off here, where you’d have stability. Your work will make a difference on a scale you wouldn’t be able to on your own, and you’d never have to worry about money. You could settle down and even have a family of your own one day, if you wanted.”
That earned him a sidelong look from Olruggio, and the long-suffering exasperation in his eyes seemed to say This again, huh? without any words.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Don’t you remember what a prickly pain in the ass you were when we first met? You wouldn’t listen to anyone. Who knows what kind of role model you’d be if you end up with an apprentice that has your aptitude for getting into trouble? You’d need all the help you can get.”
Olruggio paused, and the teasing tone in his voice evaporated as he continued, “And besides, who would make sure you’re taking care of yourself, if you’re spending all your time teaching and taking care of your apprentices? I know you, Qifrey. Once you’re fixated on something, you forget everything and everyone else. But when you’re responsible for the lives and education of your students, you won’t be allowed to forget their needs or neglect your own well-being. Is that something you could promise your students? That you’ll put them first?”
A tense silence settled between them, but Qifrey sensed Olruggio wasn’t finished by the way his interlocked fingers tightened where they now rested over his belt. When his lecturing didn’t resume, he glanced over at his friend, expecting to see the annoyed look Olruggio always wore to hide his hurt whenever Qifrey tried to push him away.
But Olruggio wasn’t looking at him anymore. He was staring up at the sky, maybe a little too intently, and for a moment, Qifrey could see a streak of starlight flash across the reflection in his deep blue eyes. Olruggio’s throat bobbed once before the gruffness in his voice changed into something softer.
“Besides, I already found my family years ago. Ever since the day you told me you wanted to live under the stars when you grew up, it started to become the only future I could really picture for myself too. I always assumed I’d follow you once I knew you weren’t planning on staying at the Great Hall after we came of age.”
The glimmering points of light dotted across the dark sky suddenly seemed blurrier to Qifrey, and he blinked hard. His eyesight had been gradually worsening over the last year or two, but this… this was something else.
Stop talking, Olly. Please.
“I already turned down the research position. Maybe it’s because we’ve been inseparable for so long, but… I can’t remember the last time I imagined a future without you in it, Qifrey.”
Something cracked in the walls Qifrey had so painstakingly rebuilt since the last time Olruggio broke through them, and a tear slid down the side of his face as a deep, enveloping warmth caught in his chest like flame taking to kindling. Then a stabbing pain erupted behind his skull, followed by the sensation of something trying to force its way out from beneath his skin.
No. Not now. Not again.
He rolled over onto his side to turn away from Olruggio and pushed himself up on his forearm, hiding the right side of his face in the palm of his hand. It wouldn’t be of any use anyway—he wouldn’t be able to hide the effects of his curse for long at the rate it was spreading. He would never be able to escape this cycle of isolation, one that forced him to watch in silence as Olruggio repeatedly struggled to understand why their friendship felt more one-sided than it should, because he was the one person Qifrey felt safest with. And that made Olruggio both the most dangerous person to keep in his life and the reason he was still alive at all.
He distantly heard Olruggio call his name in alarm, and soon he felt Olruggio’s warm hand grab his shoulder from behind.
“Hey, Qifrey! What’s wrong?”
If only he would just—
“I don’t need your help, Olruggio!” Qifrey snapped, his composure finally slipping when he felt the first branches unfurling from behind his bangs. “If you come with me, I won’t be able to grow into the teacher my students will need me to be. I’ve always depended on you too much. You fix things before I even realize they need fixing, and you cover for me when I’m lacking. For once, just let me—”
Olruggio’s fingers tightened almost painfully on his shoulder, and Qifrey took a deep breath, forcing his voice to steady.
“Please, just… take the position here, Olly. Don’t limit your potential for me.”
Silence stretched between them for what felt like too long. The crawling under Qifrey’s skin slowed—the pain of lying to the person he cared about most, along with the anxiety twisting through him as Olruggio said nothing, was enough to keep the Silverwood’s roots from gaining ground for the time being.
And then he was being pulled backward, and his back hit the grass again as Olruggio’s face swung back into view above him. Olruggio reached over him and braced himself on his hands on either side of Qifrey, forcing Qifrey to face him as he hovered overhead. His face was pinched and his lips were pulled tight, but all he managed to get out as he stared down at Qifrey with a sharp glint in his eye was, “You done? Cause—”
Olruggio’s eyes widened in shock at the sight of the branches blooming from Qifrey’s missing right eye, and he hastily pushed back Qifrey’s silver hair from his face in horror. “Silverwood…? Qifrey, what’s going on?! Why—”
His voice cracked, and a look of realization fell over his face as he remembered something Qifrey once told him when they were children. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Qifrey looked up at him with a defeated smile. Without fail, every time Olruggio discovered his secret, the child inside him would crumple with relief, and the parasite would tighten its hold on him.
“I have.”
Olruggio’s mouth parted in alarm, but Qifrey continued to explain before his friend had a chance to begin demanding answers.
“You found out about my curse for the first time after I returned from the Tower of Tomes. That day, and every time you’ve rediscovered my secret since, you’ve shown me more grace and devotion than I’ve ever deserved. And when you do, I remember what it feels like not to be alone, and the Silverwood you see begins to grow.
But you don’t know how many times we’ve been here before, because each time, you’ve saved me by having me erase your memories of this secret. Keeping this from you has kept the curse at bay for as long as it takes for you to uncover the truth again.”
Qifrey looked away from the crestfallen expression on Olruggio’s face and reached for his cap where it rested on the grass by his waist. He unpinned the flap, revealing the memory erasure spell drawn beneath it.
“This… is why I took the Fifth Pentagram Test, Olruggio. Having an apprentice to look after will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It should be enough to provide the constant vigilance and uncertainty needed to keep the parasite from growing. And one day, I’m going to have to hide this secret from them, too. It will be enough to keep me alive. But if you follow me, I’ll never be able to escape this cycle of lying to you and having to take away your memories.”
“So what if you do?” Olruggio’s voice was rough when he could finally speak again. “You’re saying we can reverse this if you continue to keep this a secret from me, right? Then just erase my memory! We’ve done it before, we can do it again. If it keeps you alive, what does it matter?”
Qifrey didn’t understand. Even after all these years, he still didn’t understand. Maybe that alone was proof of how different he and Olruggio were, and how undeserving he was of someone like him because of it.
“I’ve asked you this every time we end up here, and I’ve never understood your answer. Why are you willing to go this far for me, every time without fail?”
Olruggio’s face twisted, and something in his eyes darkened as they flicked between the branches overtaking the right side of Qifrey’s face and the glistening crystalline blue of his left eye.
“If you don’t know why after all the times I must’ve told you, Qifrey, I’m not sure how telling you once again will make you understand.”
“But—”
“Am I going to remember our fight about why you don’t want me to help you start your new atelier?”
Qifrey paused, caught off guard by the question. “Yes. The spell will only erase your memories about my condition.”
Olruggio slowly let out an exhale, and Qifrey could see that he was holding something back by the way his jaw was set. He straightened up to sit back on his heels by Qifrey’s waist and picked up Qifrey’s cap, studying the glyphs in the magic circle before replying.
“Then we’ll pick up where we left off after I wake back up. I’m not finished with that conversation. And when we do, Qifrey, you’ll need to do better than that. It’s no wonder I found out about your secret so many times, you’re a terrible liar.”
And with that, he closed the magic circle and lifted the cap to his head. The moment its rim settled over his dark hair, his eyes drifted shut, and his body went limp as he collapsed to the ground.
When the Silverwood branches receded back into dormancy, Qifrey pushed himself up from the ground, a familiar weight settling heavily in his heart once more. He gazed down at Olruggio’s sleeping form sprawled in the grass, watching his friend’s peaceful face as he sat alone with his regret. Then he tucked the still-warm water pouch against Olruggio’s chest and unclasped his own cloak to lay it carefully over Olruggio’s body.
“I don’t know what I could’ve possibly done to deserve you,” he admitted. “Sometimes I think the only explanation is that I must’ve done something right in another lifetime, because in this one…”
He brushed the messy dark hair away from Olruggio’s closed eyes, letting his fingers graze the curve of his cheek lightly before pulling back. He still remembered their boyish roundness, the way they used to dimple when Olruggio gave him one of his big, cheesy smiles before telling him to erase his memory. Olruggio had grown so much since that first time, and yet so little had changed where it truly mattered.
“I can only keep asking for your forgiveness, time and time again, as I let you continue sacrificing parts of yourself for me.”
Qifrey sat alone at the edge of his stripped bed, staring up at the bare walls of his bedroom. His desk was cleaned, his closet emptied, and a trunk sat at his feet containing all the possessions he had in the world. His petition to claim a little plot of land in the countryside to the southeast had been approved, and he would soon be leaving these familiar halls to start his new atelier.
He hadn’t seen Olruggio in a couple days. After Olruggio woke up from his enchanted sleep on the rooftop of the Great Hall several weeks ago, Qifrey had cheerfully informed him that he’d passed out after drinking too much wine. And he had been prepared for Olruggio to bring up the topic of their futures as promised, but oddly, the topic never came up again.
He looked down at the pointed cap in his hands and ran his thumb over the new piece of cloth pinned to its base. The longer Olruggio went without bringing up Qifrey’s outburst, the more he worried he might have been careless in preparing the memory erasure spell last time. Did the spell erase more than he intended? Olruggio had made it clear before he activated the spell that he didn’t intend to let that conversation go, and it wasn’t like him to hold back if he had something to say.
His fingers tightened around the brim of his cap. Or maybe… maybe he’d remembered after all, and he had been spending the last few weeks rethinking Qifrey’s words and quietly taking them to heart.
A sharp knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Without lifting his head, Qifrey called out tiredly, “Come in.”
The door swung open to reveal Olruggio standing in the hallway with a plate of grilled liongoat cheese sandwiches in one hand and a roll of parchment in the other. His eyes swept through the empty room once before he stepped in and closed the door after him.
“You missed lunch. Brought you something from the kitchen.”
Qifrey looked up at Olruggio’s face in surprise. His friend’s normally clean-shaven face now had the shadow of a beard framing his lips, which were curved up in a vaguely self-satisfied smile.
“Have you been overworking yourself again? You look a little…” Qifrey lightly tapped his own chin with his finger. “Haggard.”
Olruggio pulled the desk chair over to the bed and turned it to face Qifrey before sitting down. He held out the plate, not answering until Qifrey folded under his pointed stare and accepted half a sandwich.
“Just tryin’ something new. It’s not that bad, is it?”
Qifrey smiled into his sandwich, hiding the melancholy feeling that suddenly settled over him. After it eventually gets past the wispy phase, he could see the beard suiting Olruggio quite well. It defined his naturally soft jawline a bit more, and it was another reminder of how things were changing now that they were older.
“Keep it, it looks good on you. But Olly, where have you been? I haven’t seen you lately, I thought maybe you were still upset with me.”
“Why would I be upset?”
Qifrey frowned. “You don’t remember? That night at the entrance of the Great Hall, we were talking about how you should accept the research position here. Maybe you had a bit too much wine, you did finish most of the bottle—”
“No, I remember. I thought a lot about what you said, and… maybe you’re right. Maybe I have made it too easy for you to lean on me, and maybe it’s not always for the best.”
Olruggio handed the roll of parchment to Qifrey, finally getting to the heart of why he came to see him in the first place. “Open it.”
A sinking feeling settled in Qifrey’s gut as his fingers curled around the parchment. He recognized the thick, luxurious paper all too well; the Council only used stock like this for formal decrees issued from the Great Hall.
Whatever the Council was offering Olruggio, it had to be something good. Better than good, probably, and worthy of Olruggio’s skill and heart. And if Olruggio was showing it to him now, after finally admitting that Qifrey had been right all along… it meant that he was going to take it.
Qifrey should have felt relieved. This was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it? Olruggio had listened to him at last instead of stubbornly insisting on following someone whose messes could never be fully cleaned up.
So why did his chest feel so tight?
He drew in a slow breath, taking a moment to steady his hands and smooth his expression, and unrolled the parchment.
It was an official appointment to the role of Watchful Eye.
For his atelier.
“I had to admit, you did have a point.” Olruggio’s eyes stayed fixed on Qifrey’s face, watching him carefully as he began to explain. “As your friend, I tend to ignore things. When you pull away and shut everyone else out, I go after you and get us both into trouble until you can figure yourself out. And when you get too caught up in something to notice how it affects the people around you, I cover for you because it feels kinder than forcing you to explain yourself.
But a Watchful Eye can’t do that. If you shut yourself away and hide things from your apprentice, I would have to ask you why. If you get yourself involved in something dangerous, I’d have to intervene. If something’s wrong, I wouldn’t be able to look the other way because you asked me to.”
Qifrey stared at Olruggio in stunned disbelief. “How—why would the Council assign you? Beldaruit told me the Council would never approve something like this, they know you’re my closest friend…”
Olruggio’s voice was unrepentant. “I volunteered.”
The surprised look on Qifrey’s face gave way to something more stricken. “You what?”
“It wasn’t easy. The Council made it very clear what the consequences would be if I let my feelings for you come before my duty as Watchful Eye. But the Council also knows how eccentric and difficult you can be, and someone who doesn’t know you well enough could easily fail to notice problems until it’s too late. I know you better than anyone, and that makes me the most qualified to recognize when you might be hiding something.”
For a long moment, Qifrey couldn’t speak. He had never considered who his Watchful Eye would be, only that he would have to ensure he was cleverer than the Council-mandated oversight assigned to monitor him. But for Olruggio to go to the Council of his own accord to petition for the role… to voluntarily place himself under the Council’s scrutiny, to tie his own career and reputation to someone whose disregard for convention was already well known to their elders, meant putting himself in the position of having to answer for Qifrey if he ever failed to hide his darker pursuits well enough.
The role of Watchful Eye was born from a place of distrust, and yet Olruggio had chosen it anyway so he could stand between Qifrey and the Council if it ever came down to it.
“You fool,” he finally said quietly. “You shouldn’t have done that. Do you know what this could cost you?”
Olruggio shrugged and leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed. “If someone has to keep an eye on you, I’d rather it be me than someone who doesn’t care about you. If you won’t have me stand by your side in front of your future apprentice as your best friend, then I’ll stand over your atelier as your Watchful Eye. I won’t get in your way. Except when I need to make sure you don’t cross any lines. You know, for your student’s sake.”
“Apprentices,” Qifrey said after a beat, the correction soft but sure. “I’m thinking perhaps two.”
“Think we can handle two?”
That ‘we’ again.
It really has always been ‘we,’ hasn’t it, Olly?
The relief and gratitude filling Qifrey’s heart seemed to push the tension out of his body all at once, and his shoulders slumped forward. He let his face fall into his hands, pressing his palms over his eyes as he let out a breath that almost sounded like a laugh.
“Between the two of us?” he murmured, smiling faintly to himself. “Yes. I’m sure we can.”