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This is your first time getting truly mad at him. Oh of course he got on your nerves many, many times. Because Luffy - your captain - is a hot-head to the core.
But you could never, ever get truly mad at Luffy.
Until today.
«C’mon, (Y/N)! We won, come celebrate!» Luffy cheers, his smile as beaming as ever.
«Forget it! I’m going back to the Going Merry!» you march off, hands clenched into fists as you growl angrily.
«Okay! We’ll catch up later!» Luffy waves you off cluelessly, and that makes your blood boil even more.
«Whatever!» you shout at him without looking back.
«Aren’t you an idiot» Nami, who saw the scene, scolds him with a punch on his shoulder.
«Ow? Why?!» Luffy whines.
«She has every right to be mad! You just accepted without thinking about it and–»
Nami’s voice fades in the background as you walk away. Angry tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. You climb back up to the ship and go straight to your room, slamming the door behind you.
«What a fucking idiot!» you exclaim to yourself before curling up in your hammock and letting out a scream in your pillow.
The Davy Back Fight against the Foxy Pirates. That’s what got you so worked up.
You’re well aware that Luffy is always the one to dive head first into anything that proposes itself as an adventure. Or a new experience of some sorts. And you were okay with it. You even followed him without batting an eye when he suggested going up a deadly stream to reach an island in the sky that you weren’t even that sure existed. Something that had nothing to do with finding the One Piece. But running the risk of losing your nakamas, just to entertain yourself with a weird looking pirate who came out of nowhere…
Of course, in the end you won and Chopper was taken back. But you still couldn’t shake the anger you felt towards Luffy for accepting in the first place.
The idea of losing your captain himself terrified you. More than any creature, savage island or foe you encountered until now on your journey with the Straw Hats. Because you liked Luffy more than anything.
You were far too in love with him to contemplate going on on your journey without him. And without Luffy, who would keep you company at night when you were on duty? Would you ever be capable of sitting on the head of the Merry again, a spot he shared only if you were by his side? The thought alone made you feel helpless. And seeing Chopper almost get taken away from you forever made you even more angered towards Luffy.
For the first time, his smile isn’t contagious.
You didn’t come back to the Merry to sleep, more to keep yourself from punching Luffy in the face, but exhaustion catches up to you. Both due to the challenges of the Foxy Pirates, and the pent up frustration towards the situation you just got out of because of your captain’s recklessness.
So, without even trying to stay awake, your eyelids flutter close and you swiftly fall asleep.
«Wake up! (Y/N)- you need to wake up now!»
Your profound sleep is abruptly interrupted by the sensation of someone pulling at your wrist. It’s Nami. You don’t need to fully wake up to realize that something’s wrong. Her face gives it away. Her cheeks are blushed red and her eyes are full of a deep, concerning panic.
«Nami- what’s wrong?!» your voice trembles.
«It’s the Navy. One of their admirals came all the way here and he…Robin-» Nami is barely capable of putting words together, so you just hurriedly follow her as you hold onto her hand.
She takes you to the Merry bathrooms in a rush, you want to ask her more about this admiral but you quickly understand that this is no time to ask questions. And you find your confirmation when you see the figure in front of you. Robin is completely frozen, not even an inch of her skin is spared. Chopper is frantically rubbing her arm with a warm, wet towel as Usopp helps him.
«Please, (Y/N)! Take some hot water and a towel before she goes in necrosis!» Chopper yelps, voice half broken.
You immediately hurry to Robin’s side, careful not to touch her. You can still feel the coldness emanate from her, grazing your skin. You shiver. Usopp, although terrified, explains to you what’s happening. He tells you about Navy Admiral Aokiji and his ice powers, probably from a Devil Fruit. And the things he said about Robin before trying to kill her and get rid of them all. As you rub Robin’s frozen arm up and down with hot water, a question hits you. You stop for a second and turn around towards Usopp with an anguish he never saw and your face, ever.
«Wait, where’s Luffy?»
———
Hours later, the Going Merry is now placidly swaying on the moon-kissed waves. The night is calm and silent, compared to the chaotic day you just went through.
Luffy’s head is laying on your lap, his spiky jet black hair wet and sticking to his forehead. You caress them away, fingertips lingering on his still cold skin. You spent hours with your crew melting the ice off of Robin and Luffy. The moment you saw Luffy covered in ice, your legs gave up and your lips let out an horrified scream. But then you did everything you could do to save him. Because you spent the entire day thinking about how much you couldn’t afford to lose him. And not just in a Davy Back Fight. Luffy is now sleeping soundly on your lap. He looks soft when sleeping. His face is relaxed, lips parted. You rarely see him like this. He’s so beautiful. But why does he always have to be like this? Accepting fights from strangers when avoidable, ordering everyone to run away so that he can fight the enemy alone. You know that he did so also to avenge the weird old man and his horse that got shot. But still, it could have gone bad. Zoro walks inside the room carrying another towel and a bucket of hot water. Without a word he soaks the towel, squeezes it and then starts rubbing it along Luffy’s leg.
«His legs are still a little cold, if you want I can take care of him. You should rest» the swordsman says, looking at you.
You look up at Zoro, smiling calmly at him.
«Don’t worry, I’m not tired yet. I can look after him a bit more» you say.
«And yet, you’re still mad at him»
Zoro said so with a little smirk. You, on the other hand, are caught off guard. How does he know?
«I don’t know what you’re talking about» you say, dismissively.
«C’mon» Zoro says, resuming to warm up Luffy «I know you were pissed off at him for the Davy Back Fight. And it doesn’t matter if you still give him doe eyes now, you’re still angry at him»
You wanna retort with some sort of snarky comment, but you can’t come up with anything. Zoro is right.
«And so, am I wrong?» you say, resuming to run your fingers through Luffy’s hair.
«No» Zoro says «but that’s what you get when you decide to set sail with Monkey D. Luffy»
You look up at him, eyebrows furrowing.
«Going through unnecessary challenges that could cost you a crew member? I thought we were searching the One Piece» you finally come up with the snarky response you were desperately looking for.
But Zoro seems unphased. He chuckles a little as he shakes his head.
«Freedom»
The answer leaves you speechless. You just nod when Zoro passes you the warm towel and asks you to run it through his face and neck. You comply and bite your lower lip.
Zoro props himself up and is about to exit the room. But he stops. He doesn’t turn around.
«Listen. You won’t always be on the same page as Luffy. Hell, nobody knows what goes through his head and half of his decisions are driven by heart. Luffy accepted because he didn’t even consider losing, and yeah, he’s an idiot for that. He’s an idiot for also trying to take up a Navy Admiral with powers like those all alone.
But more than an idiot, he’s something else. More than an idiot, more than a pirate, Luffy is free. You can reject him for that and walk away, or you can stay. But if you decide to stand by him, just know that more than anything, Luffy is a free man. And that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you, or us. So, have faith in him»
Zoro closes the door behind him. You’re left alone with Luffy, still sleeping peacefully. You stopped caressing his hair and your hand lies on his cold cheek. Your thumb strokes his cheekbone twice. The first time, hoping that he could feel even in sleep that you care about him. The second time, to wipe away one of your tears that dropped on his scar. A few days went by, and Luffy recovered completely. The moment he woke up, he darted outside his arm with arms wide open, making an impression of himself when he got frozen. Safe to say you didn’t laugh. Not in front of him at least. You hid your smile behind you, and then walked away. Luffy gave up the act and ran up to you, wrapping his gummy arms around your frame two or three times. He rubbed your cheek against yours, beaming.
«Aren’t you happy to see me, (Y/N)?» he asked, moving his cheek up and down against yours.
You looked away dismissively, but cupped his head with your free hand.
«Yeah, nice to have you back»
He didn’t notice the sheer coldness in your voice, the way you didn’t even look at him. He just unswirled himself from you and bounced over to the others.
The next few days, spent traveling towards Water 7, go by in the same way. Trying to distance yourself.
Nami noticed, tried to ask you about it but you just shrugged and said that nothing about Luffy was bothering you.
You thought that he didn’t notice, that he was too dense to do so. Until one night, at dinner when you didn’t feel like eating, you saw a stretchy arm extend a plate of meat towards you. Everyone turned around in shock, you included. Silence fell down at the table.
«If you’re so hungry that you’re upset, have some. Only one tho» and Luffy resumed eating like a savage.
You didn’t even have the guts to yell at him that you weren’t upset because you were hungry, but that you were upset because he really is a free man and you don’t know how you will cope if his freedom one day takes him away from you and that’s why you’re keeping a distance. And also you’re still a bit pissed off about the Davy Back Fight. Instead of yelling at him, you just sat in silence and thank him with a murmur. He never shared his food with anyone.
«Oi, Luffy, I’m really upset too y’know—» Usopp said, his hand reaching for Luffy’s plate before being slapped away with an angry growl by your captain.
—
It’s a silent, sad night in Water 7. You tossed and turned in your bed, incapable of sleeping. You shed a few tears too. Today it’s the first time you really felt like the crew was splitting. Robin disappeared once you set food in the city, you still weren’t capable of smiling at Luffy and Usopp just left the crew after the news of the Going Merry being irreparable and fighting your captain. Anguish is consuming you, so you decide to get dressed and go out on the balcony of the inn for some fresh air. The night sky is flawless, stars punctuate the blue sheet of the Universe and the sound of waves hitting the canals soothes you.
Outside, you find someone else who couldn’t sleep. Luffy.
He was perched up on the balcony railing, giving you his back. Unsure, you take a few steps towards him.
«Say, (Y/N)»
You jolt a little in surprise. You thought he didn’t notice your presence. But you recompose yourself quickly, and walk towards him. You rest your elbows on the balcony, right next to Luffy. He doesn’t look at you. His eyes are half-shadowed under his straw hat but you sense the pure discomfort and…hurt in them.
He’s really hurting.
«Tell me» you reply, calmly.
«Are you gonna leave me too?»
You’re sure you’ve heard his voice breaking a little. But he still looks as serious as ever. Your lips press against each other, trying not to break down crying. So you just climb over the railing and sit next to him. He doesn’t move away from you.
«What makes you think that?» you say.
He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds.
«I don’t know. But whatever has been making you mad these days, I don’t want it to make you leave the crew»
Slowly, and with your heart beating fast, you lean your head on his shoulder. You close your eyes, and you feel Luffy stay still.
«What would really make me upset is losing my nakamas, Luffy. So no, I won’t let go. Not the crew, and most importantly, not you»
Luffy doesn’t need to say anything. You understand everything he has to say to you when you feel his straw hat pressing against the top of your head. You stay there, contemplating the night, your head on his shoulder, his head against yours.
You stop distancing yourself from Luffy, because you never wanna let go.