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Zuko was excited.
Finally, finally, he had been brave enough. He had been brave enough and Sokka was coming home to him. It had taken time, carefully crafted treaties and letters tucked into drawers close enough for his hands to reach, but tucked far enough away to not draw attention. It hadn't gone the way he'd wanted it to. A single kiss on the gangplank, a plea for him to stay for a month longer, a week, a day.
He'd settled for minutes, held close to blue fabric and brown skin, whispered promises falling from lips warmed with a first kiss that couldn't be the last. Sokka had to go. Zuko knew that. He'd known this wouldn't stop him, but he'd tried. The distance would be too far, it'd stretch them too thin, but he'd nodded when he was promised it wouldn't be for too long.
They had too much time to make up for, too many years wasted longing for one another, and Sokka had promised he'd be back as soon as he could be. That was today.
Today, Zuko's heart would be whole again.
He'd spent the months apart building their home. Sokka wasn't cold and formal like the palace. He was warm and soft, love made form. Zuko had begged Katara and Aang through letters to help him, to send anything that would make Sokka happy so he could make their space perfect for him. It wouldn't be for forever of course, Zuko would never ask that of him, but it would be for a while. They'd discussed it at length in letters.
Half of the year spent in Caldera, half of the year spent in the South Pole. Zuko had fought his ministers and weeded out any person who would attempt to usurp him while he tended to his heart where half of it resided. He wasn't ready yet, but he knew he would be at the end of their time together.
They'd agreed that they'd start things off alone, Zuko taking a month off to rest, but mostly to make the memories he'd not allowed himself to. He'd see every smile he'd dreamed of, make every moment matter more than the one before, and let himself be wholly Sokka's. He was ready to live the way his Uncle had prayed he would.
Sokka's ship arrived today, two flicks of the candle away. Zuko couldn't think of anything else.
His hands shook with excitement, his eyes searching the horizon for a high sail, blue the color of the eyes he wanted to see so desperately. He stared and the candle flicked.
Zuko couldn't wait anymore.
He stood, walking as slowly as he could force himself to as he made his way to the docks. Maybe he could see Sokka's ship from there. By the time Zuko arrived at the docks, he was sure the candle had flicked again, but he was informed that it had only been minutes. He sat down again, watching the water for only so long before he was standing again, pacing.
Would Sokka's lips taste of the sea air?
Would he chuckle deep in his chest when he saw Zuko waiting for him?
Would he tease with that fond look in his eye that made Zuko fall for him all over again?
Zuko's throat was dry, excitement spilling into anxiety as he scanned the horizon and asked for the time again.
Half till the next flick.
He should have been able to see the ship by now, surely?
He was assured gently that ships sometimes ran slow and that Water Tribe ships especially could fall victim to this, since their speed was controlled by the wind and not the familiar steam of Fire Nation vessels. Zuko sat again, but his anxiety spiked. He forced it down, closing his eyes and moving himself through a meditation.
Time passed quicker then, after he was assured that he'd be told the instant they saw Sokka's ship.
The sun burned brightly in the sky, rising to its zenith before falling again.
Zuko asked again, but he was soothed again. There was nothing to worry about.
Yet.
The final word hovered in Zuko's chest and he couldn't concentrate on meditating anymore. He watched the horizon for anything, any speck that could be a ship, a dot that could be a hawk, a streak of light that could be a signal for him. There was nothing.
The further the sun slipped down, the harder it was to breathe.
When the sky was a burning orange, Zuko clutched at his chest, dizzy with lack of air. He couldn't sit and wait. He had to find out where Sokka's ship was.
Zuko stood when a call came from one of the dock workers. His heart sank when their hand was pointed upwards, a dot approaching fast. It took him restless minutes to realize he was seeing Appa and not a far off hawk. His chest eased and he found himself at the edge of the dock, having to be held back lest he slip right off of into the water. There he was. Sokka had come by sky bison instead of ship and forgotten to tell Zuko.
He could make out Aang on Appa's head, Katara sat next to him. They were sat close to one another, but that wasn't abnormal. They were married now, their children probably spending time with their grandfather in the South Pole.
But that wasn't right, was it?
Aang and Katara were supposed to be in Republic City. Why were they here?
As Appa got closer, Zuko's anxiety rose as he realized his saddle was barren. Sokka was nowhere to be found. Something was wrong.
Zuko backed away from the edge of the docks, turning to track the bison and walk to where Appa would land. He moved briskly at first, but the closer they came to touching down the faster Zuko moved until he was sprinting over the grass, hiking his robes up when he stumbled over them.
They landed so close, but too far for him. Aang was holding Katara close as he helped her off of Appa. She swayed and Zuko felt himself follow her weakness, his chest so tight. Something was wrong.
He slowed down as he got close enough to hear Katara take a shuttering breath, his steps flattering as she finally looked up and when they locked eyes his knees buckled. Katara's face was stone, her eyes red from crying, tears still dripping gently, like whatever had hurt her had turned delicate. He forced himself closer, forced one foot in front of the other and he watched as her face cracked, a horrible, heartbroken frown curling her lips down.
Zuko stopped a few paces from her, unable to take those final steps, as if they would make whatever horrible reality she would reveal to him any less painful. She pulled away from Aang and started closing the distance, but Zuko took a step back as cold fear staked through his heart, more painful than any lightning he'd ever been struck with.
"Where is he?"
She stopped just in front of Zuko and took a deep breath, finding his eyes before she pressed something cold into his hands. Zuko didn't look, couldn't force himself to as tears forced their way past his resolve. He clung to the metal in his hands, felt the sharp, curved edge until his fingers met something softer. It startled him so badly he looked down and the confirmation took his breath away. He was sure he'd never breathe again.
Sokka's boomerang, the one Zuko had scoured the burnt forests for just to give something back to Sokka, the tiniest token of affection at the very beginning of their too-long pining. That wasn't what caught his eye. Wrapped around the middle was a ribbon so blue it was almost black. From it hung a stone, carved with a care Zuko had seen on so many others, but never did he dare to imagine for himself. A flame curled in the blue, delicately, like it was made of water itself. Zuko ran his fingers over the stone, tracing the carving with a reverence that was broken by Katara's voice.
"There was a storm."
Zuko looked up at her, swallowing as Aang quietly moved closer to Katara, bracing himself but not crowding her or touching.
"The crew said he didn't want to turn back. He thought they could make it to the eye. They did, eventually, but not before the deck was too wet and he-"
Her voice cracked and she sobbed, Aang hovering closer, but she held up a hand to him and composed herself as best she could.
"Someone fell overboard. They said he didn't even hesitate. He's always been such a strong swimmer."
Zuko hung on her every word, knowing every letter was closer to the last beat of his heart. He didn't want to hear it, but he couldn't ask her to stop.
"They threw a rope and he wrapped it around them, but they panicked. The idiot wouldn't let them go even when he was being forced under. They only pulled one of them up and the crew said they couldn't find him in the storm so they threw over all their buoys so he'd have something to hold onto until it calmed. They-"
Her voice cracked again and this time Aang didn't stop himself, wrapping Katara in his arms and Zuko bitterly realized he'd never get to experience that.
"They found him tangled in the lines. He's…He's gone."
Zuko nodded, looking down at the last pieces of him he'd ever get to hold, running his fingers over the stone of the necklace before he noticed there was something on the back. He unwrapped the ribbon from the weapon and turned the stone over slowly. There, carved delicately, were the words Zuko knew would break his heart.
Yours Forever Firelily
Zuko stared down at the inscription until his eyes were so blurred he couldn't anymore. He blinked and tears dripped on the stone. He stared, unable to process the ripping feeling in his chest, the tightness in his throat until Katara touched his hand. Their eyes met and Zuko took a shuttering breath, but it wasn't enough. He tried again and then again until he was gasping, staring at Katara and trying to speak, trying to apologize, because she had lost so much more, but her face wilted further and his knees gave out.
Katara followed, pulling Zuko into her chest. The movement knocked his voice back into use and Zuko screamed. The dam burst, and Zuko was clutching his final pieces of him to his chest, weeping into Katara's neck as she cried with him. She held his head to her, quiet in her grief as Zuko opened his mouth and all that he could do was scream.
Aang held them both, Katara ran her fingers through Zuko's hair, and Zuko went hoarse. He didn't stop when his voice was gone. Katara's grip on him grew tighter when she heard his whispers, begging her to tell him it wasn't true, prayers to Agni that she was wrong, the softest, smallest 'no's. He shook with the strength of his sobs, falling against Katara and Aang was gathering them both closer, his strong arms the only thing keeping either of them together.
Eventually, Katara stopped crying, gently soothing Zuko until he could force himself to look at her. Guilt settled deep inside of him, how could she be so kind to swallow her grief to be here for him? How could he have let her do that? He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but she shook her head, her fingers finding the necklace he still had clutched to his chest.
"Can I…?"
He nodded slowly, unsure of what she was doing until she leaned forward and wrapped the ribbon around his neck. It was soft. If Zuko closed his eyes and pushed everything else away, he could pretend her hands were his. She tied it gently, but tight enough that Zuko could feel the weight around his neck and at the hollow of his throat. Katara pulled away and gently caressed the stone before managing a smile.
"There. His last wish fulfilled. He shouldn't have ever worried. It looks perfect on you."
Zuko held Katara's hand over the stone and he opened his mouth to ask. Had he asked Katara's opinions? Could she tell him every word he'd said about Zuko? She answered without him having to ask.
"He said he could die happy as long as you said yes."
The words knocked around in Zuko's ribs and he nodded, tilting his head up to see stars. They weren't the same as the ones in the South, they weren't the ones he had shown Zuko on late nights when they were so close to something more than best friends, but Zuko prayed he'd still be able to hear. Zuko's voice was soft, barely anything, but he had to make sure he was heard.
"Yes."
The wind picked up and Zuko hoped it was enough to carry his promise over land and sea and sky to ears listening for it among the spirits. That hope would have to be enough.