Chapter Text
Javier Asrahan brandishes his sword against his enemies once more.
He had not expected the hooded man to be capable of summoning creatures straight from the depths of hell. Infernal beings that fell with a single slash, generals and legions that hurled themselves at him relentlessly, unwilling to surrender no matter how many times it cost them their lives.
He severed heads, tore limbs apart, and blood stained every worn-down wall before seeping through the cracks into the ground, mingling with the earth of the underground structure. He shattered bones into fragments and reduced entire bodies to ruin. Even so, it was not enough, and he knew it.
He was not here for these creatures, but for the ones who summoned them. In the surrounding villages, whispers spread of beloved people vanishing without a trace, honest folk of sound mind who would never simply disappear without warning. Javier, already sick of watching innocent people lose their families, had no choice but to intervene.
He searched for some time before finally discovering an abandoned mine, its entrance showing clear signs of recent activity.
And when Javier reached the end of that cavern and found the summoners, whose power was truly fearsome, he was forced to fight them as well. The moment they began explaining the reasons behind such barbaric acts, Javier rushed toward them and severed their heads without stopping to listen.
He rescued the few survivors they had kept imprisoned in complete darkness and guided them safely back to their homes, bearing only minor injuries.
Their families were deeply grateful and offered him food and shelter. Even so, carrying a weight in his heart, he answered them only with a gentle smile and refused any hospitality, choosing instead to continue on his journey.
Not far away, if he sharpened his senses, he could hear the cries of those who had not been fortunate enough to recover their loved ones, while others questioned whether the famous knight of blood and iron was truly a hero if he could not save everyone. Some even wondered why it had taken him so long to arrive.
“They say he caused more deaths than Queen Magentano.”
“They say he was an orphan taken in by some baron, who later died under very strange circumstances.”
“And then he began wandering the world.”
“I don’t think he’s done anything wrong. Have you seen how handsome he is?”
“He must be so blessed…”
Javier hated the sound of whispers.
He departed quickly, hoping his brief stay had not caused more harm than good, though he could not guarantee that the village would survive much longer against the ravages of war and the conflicts between species. He ventured into a dense forest, where the treetops swallowed the sky from view and the thick trunks, with roots jutting from the earth, forced him to circle around carefully to avoid tripping. Truthfully, he was never in much of a hurry. He no longer had a place to return to, nor any fixed destination waiting for him.
At last, the path led him to a shallow river, its crystal-clear waters flowing gently downhill. The banks were adorned with small flowers and cattails clinging to the current.
Come to think of it, he had not had the chance to bathe in days, and he felt disgusted by the blood of others soaking his clothes and staining his skin. So he leaves his weapon within reach, quickly strips off his garments, planning to wash them later, and sinks into the water, which immediately freezes his body and burns against his freshest wounds.
The sensation, however, is pleasant for a brief moment. The only thing he had not removed, out of fear of losing it, was a small necklace hanging from his neck. Engraved upon that old trinket was the symbol of the letter F. Javier takes it into his hands and grips it tightly, remembering all too well the day he received it.
One week before Arcos and Marbella Frontera decided to put an end to their troubles.
Javier plunges beneath the water, holding his breath as he washes his hair.
The baron would not stop talking about how grateful he was that Javier had remained by his side despite their severe financial troubles. In fact, they had fallen behind on paying the knight’s wages, but to Javier that had only ever been an extra. Having food and a roof over his head was already enough for him. He would have worked for them for the rest of his life without payment if it could have brought his lords even a little peace of mind.
Javier feels the riverbed beneath him. It is not very deep, yet he leans back until his entire body rests beneath the surface.
Marbella had been so ashamed that day. So much so that she took Javier’s hands and promised him it would only be temporary, almost as though she believed her own words. And when she let go of his hands, she left behind a small silver necklace.
As Javier exhales, he also remembers that every object made of gold and every precious jewel had already been sold, so he did not mind. Besides, he intended to return the necklace to the baroness eventually.
He had told them not to worry, because he would always stand by their side.
Javier touches the mud at the bottom of the river, the small stones carried along by the current.
He constantly wonders whether his affection had not been enough for them. Whether money and their burdens had mattered more than the children they left behind.
For the following decade, Javier never again felt as though he belonged anywhere. Until now, as his lungs burned while water flooded into his body and he closed his eyes, watching the last traces of his breath rise toward the surface. His lungs burned, his restless hands curled into fists, his uneasy mind wanted to rise, yet he resisted.
The first time he had done this, years ago in the Ocean of Cremo, he thought the baron had seen value in his life even when he had been nothing more than an abandoned child, and that because of the kindness they had shown him, he deserved to live a little longer. It had been a rainy autumn day that reminded him of the last moments he saw him alive. That was why he had not dared to repeat it until five years later.
The second time he tried, a branch drifted over his head, brushing through his hair, and he remembered how the baroness used to stroke that very spot so lovingly when he had been nothing more than a timid child who kept his distance from everyone except the baron. She had loved that boy, and he could not bring himself to kill him.
The third time, he briefly thought of Julian. Someone should protect him from Lloyd if he ever returned from the capital. When he rose for air, he remembered that the children of that family had eventually died as well, under circumstances he had never cared to investigate too deeply. It would have been too painful to learn how those who had once been his family had met their ends, and he did not wish to carry that pain too.
This time, no reason came to mind to rise again. And so, he squeezed his eyes shut as his strength slowly faded.
He would carry all his regrets with him into the afterlife. For a moment, his body finally stopped aching from the cold sinking into his bones. His mind stopped worrying about the world.
But deep within his heart, he held onto one final wish.
When he awakens, he sees Lloyd Frontera.
The man is sleeping peacefully in his bed, wrapped in soft sheets with a foolish smile spread across his face. Javier can make out faint dark circles beneath his eyes, and his hair is hopelessly disheveled even by his usual standards.
The morning sunlight filtered gently through the large curtains, painfully familiar. The room began to make more sense as his senses slowly sharpened.
In his arms, he held a small light-colored pillow. He rose so quickly from the chair he had been sitting on that it toppled over. The noise stirred a relaxed and drowsy Lloyd Frontera awake.
“Hmmm? Javier?”
Hearing his name leave those lips so clearly made him nauseous. A growing pain twisted deep within his stomach, forcing his face to contort as he clamped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from vomiting whatever remained inside him.
His eyes began to sting with tears while saliva gathered in his mouth like a dreadful omen. He pressed his hand harder against his lips and dropped to his knees on the floor.
His actions seemed to alarm Lloyd, who immediately sat up in bed and asked,
“Javier? Are you feeling sick?”
At last, his eyes burned and tears slipped down his cheeks. He felt them warm against his cold skin, so different from the icy sensation that had gripped his body in that river. It had been years since he had cried like this.
“Wait, hold it in!” Lloyd suddenly jumped to his feet.
Javier refused to lower his guard as he watched the man move a bucket that had been sitting beside his desk. Lloyd brought it over and placed it next to him. Inside were several crumpled papers. Javier lifted his gaze toward the family’s eldest son in disbelief.
“Go ahead, man, you look miserable. I won’t judge you for not being as perfect as me.” Lloyd turned around and went to open the windows, letting the cool breeze drift into the room.
Faced with that strange display of consideration, Javier could not hold back any longer and emptied all of the previous night’s meal into the wastebasket.
Lloyd truly did not stay long after that. He grabbed his clothes, told Javier he could take his time and meet him later in the dining hall, then left. Just like that. Javier remained beside that bucket until he felt hollowed out.
He thought it strange. More than two decades had passed since he had last been in that mansion, and yet he vaguely remembered the path that would lead him to the dining hall. After composing himself as best he could, he avoided the mirror in the room, dressed in fresh clothes, and picked up his sword.
There were familiar faces among the servants, though he could no longer remember their names exactly.
Although he remembered the way, he felt utterly lost in all of this, as though his body were acting without his mind’s permission. After the initial dizziness faded, his body gradually recovered over the next few minutes. His legs felt heavy as he walked through the vast corridors, and his face, judging by touch alone, felt younger.
And he still could not stop thinking about how, that morning upon waking, he had seen Lloyd Frontera. Amid his confusion and nausea, he had been too stunned to do anything else, but Lloyd had truly been there. He had spoken to him so casually and then simply left, not before offering him half the day off if he thought he needed it.
There had been no foul scent of alcohol clinging to the man, so unlike the Lloyd Javier remembered. In fact, many things had changed. All it had taken was a glance out the window to realize that something strange had happened outside as well.
What was going on? After all the lives he had taken, he had believed he would naturally descend into hell. Perhaps that was exactly what had happened. Perhaps he was in the Underworld, and that was the only reason he had seen Lloyd Frontera again. He remembered dying. He could hardly believe that now he was calmly walking through the mansion while his heart pounded so violently it felt ready to burst from his chest, his hands growing damp with nerves as a thousand questions swirled through his mind.
But if this was hell, then it had to be the finest one imaginable, reserved for those who had at least tried to be good. Because as he stepped through the corridor doors, he was met with the heartwarming sight of the family, Lloyd, Arcos, and Marbella, sharing breakfast amid laughter and smiling faces.
He remained there, standing in the doorway between the double doors as he stared at that lovely family scene in stunned silence.
His eyes burned again. Why did he have to see this? Why, upon his deathbed, was he being shown such a warm image of the family he had once had years ago? It felt as though he had seen them only yesterday, as though time had never touched them at all.
In truth, he did notice one small difference. Everyone was smiling. From the baron and baroness to the maids placing food onto their plates, these were not strained smiles meant to ease the atmosphere or pretend that everything was normal, the sort he had grown accustomed to. There was genuine happiness shining behind their eyes.
His gaze met Lloyd’s once more. The man had looked relaxed before, but he quickly stiffened when he took a proper look at Javier.
“Hey, come here. You should sit down,” he said, his tone sounding genuinely worried. It was difficult to believe.
Javier almost refused.
“You look a little pale. Come, have something to eat with us,” Marbella offered.
The baroness had always been a very transparent woman. If she was happy, she showed it. If she was sad, she showed it. And if she was worried to the point that she seemed to hold her breath while her hands rested against her chest as though she had seen something truly terrible, she showed that as well.
Javier knew that expression very well, and he had never liked it. So, only to ease her worries, he approached and took a seat a fair distance away from Lloyd.
“Lloyd told us you weren’t feeling very well this morning. With how strong you are, I could hardly believe him… but yes, perhaps you should take some time to rest,” Arcos commented in a paternal tone that Javier remembered all too clearly.
All those worried eyes fixed on him, waiting for him to say something. He did not even care that his mind might be creating a fantasy before death. He simply did not want that kind of attention directed at him.
“It’s only dizziness. I’ll recover soon. Please, don’t worry too much about me.”
“We understand, truly,” Marbella smiled at him with the same understanding warmth of a mother speaking to her stubborn son. “You were deeply affected by what happened with Neumann. It’s only natural that you still haven’t fully recovered.”
How was it that less than an hour ago he had been the great and feared Knight of Blood and Iron, and now his former family was gathered around him, worried for his well-being?
Perhaps he had not killed every mage in that cavern after all. Even if a spell capable of making him relive, or witness, the past truly existed, he could only think that he would eventually need to find a way to wake up and destroy it.
One of the maids offered Javier a glass of water. He hesitated for a moment, wondering whether it was possible to be poisoned within his own dream. He drank cautiously before rising to his feet once more.
“I appreciate your concern, but I am in excellent condition.”
No one doubted that Javier was a man of superhuman talent, capable of recovering from dizziness within seconds. They also knew he would speak up if he truly felt unwell and unable to fulfill his duties. They trusted his words to an almost excessive degree, and so they did not press him further beyond a few lingering looks.
Javier felt something warm creeping across his face whenever the baroness’s eyes lingered on him before she continued speaking, as though she needed reassurance of his condition in order to feel at ease. He remained standing beside the table, trying to make sense of what was happening to him.
He would not allow himself to indulge in illusions. He did not believe in second chances. What was done was done. He had spent the last twenty years of his life fighting to leave his regrets behind, convincing himself that, regardless, the past could no longer be changed. Only now to be handed an absurdly perfect opportunity.
The world was never so kind.
So he knew that the moment he lowered his guard, something would happen. Something terrible, most likely.
His gaze drifted absentmindedly across the breakfast table. It was unnecessarily large for only three people. Just their plates and a few light dishes to begin the day had been laid out. Water, fruit juice, tea. All of it perfectly ordinary for a family breakfast table. Bread, fruit, jams.
And yet all of it was utterly strange upon the Frontera family’s table.
Each plate had been carefully arranged beside its cutlery, the appetizing food laid out before the lords of these lands. Lloyd sat there calmly beside his family, and there was not a trace of alcohol in sight.
An imitation of reality could not possibly be this perfect, and Javier had proof before his very eyes that this was not his reality. For many years, Lloyd Frontera had done nothing but drink and bring trouble upon his family.
So what was Lloyd Frontera doing seated properly at the table, without his feet propped up on it, casually conversing with his parents while informing them that he had a new project in mind? And why were they looking at him with such understanding? Of course they would do that, but then why was Lloyd Frontera smiling at them and thanking them for placing their limited resources at his disposal?
The barons had always been far too permissive with this man, Javier had known that for a long time. But there was a difference between allowing him to buy as much alcohol as he could stomach and placing money directly into his hands, opening the doors of the world to him and letting him do whatever he pleased with that freedom.
And Javier watched all of this in silence, unable to speak. He did not want to keep interacting with such a poor illusion.
“Alright then, Javier, get ready. We’ve got a very long day ahead of us!” Lloyd announced as he rose from the table with a determined look in his eyes. He walked toward the exit without looking back.
If only he had turned around before crossing the doorway, he might have noticed something strange about Javier Asrahan: the absolute contempt reflected in his gaze.
Leaving the mansion behind, along with Lord Arcos and Marbella, was difficult in every sense of the word. Javier lingered there for a moment, simply staring at them. He wanted to refuse to leave them alone once again, but he knew there was nothing to gain by forcing them to remain at his side. They had told him to follow Lloyd, and no matter how silently his heart suffered, aching to weep at the sight of them so healthy and alive, Javier would do as they asked. Following the natural flow of this world seemed to be his safest choice.
It appeared that even his powers had been affected by this change. He had always been considered a prodigy, yet he felt a certain irritation upon realizing that his strength was no longer the same as it had been on that final night. Even so, his hearing remained as sharp as ever. Too sharp. The people of these lands would not stop talking about Neumann. Apparently, something terrible had recently happened to him, and Javier could only curl his lips into a faint smile, because it seemed that in this world, he had not managed to cause even half the problems he once had.
What truly caught his attention was that everything had been attributed to Lloyd, who had supposedly uncovered what Neumann had been doing in secret. So Lloyd now searched through his knights’ rooms as well? While Javier had nothing incriminating hidden in his own quarters, he did remember a few things that would have embarrassed him terribly if the young Lloyd had seen them.
As they made their way toward the village, Javier could not suppress the sharp twist in his stomach while staring at Lloyd’s back. He had always followed him from behind, maintaining a prudent distance so as not to make him feel “watched like a criminal,” in Lloyd’s own words. Despite all his complaints, he had behaved exactly like one. Because of that, Javier had wasted precious days keeping watch over a criminal mutt instead of honing the skills he would truly need later on.
Naturally, he kept even more distance from this Lloyd Frontera. The man walked upright and full of confidence, as though he believed all of this belonged to him. Javier let out a quiet sigh, knowing that in the future Lloyd would become nothing less than the ruin of House Frontera.
“Javier, are you feeling alright?” he suddenly heard his lord ask.
“Yes. I already mentioned that you needn’t worry about…”
“Uh, no, we don’t have time for you to start feeling sick again. Recover quickly.” Lloyd glanced back over his shoulder at Javier, genuinely seeming to expect him to heal on the spot. “Your face is making me feel sick.”
Javier raised a hand to his mouth, trying to conceal his disgusted expression. “Please, don’t concern yourself with me.”
He tended to provoke many reactions in people, at least in his youth before his body became covered in scars and weighed down by that oppressive aura, but he did not think he had ever heard of someone feeling physically ill because of him. Even Lloyd, in his own irritable way, had once complimented Javier’s face. Naturally, Javier had always been pleasant to look at, so how could he suddenly become unbearable now?
Young women still peeked out from their windows just to catch sight of him, crossing the streets with dreamy looks in their eyes.
So Lloyd criticizing his appearance felt like yet another cruel joke this world was playing on him.
Lloyd, meanwhile, remained completely unaware of Javier’s thoughts. He did not seem to think twice about his own words before pulling a small creature from inside his clothes. Javier stared at him in bewilderment. Since when…?
That adorable little creature suddenly grew enormous. It dug relentlessly. Whatever the Celery Route was, it apparently involved enough work to make this project important.
“Since when have you been capable of controlling summons?” Javier questioned, one hand resting on the hilt of his sword. He had no intention of drawing it, but the gesture was a reflex left over from his previous life.
“Some people know how to use swords since childhood. Others summon creatures. Same thing.”
Whenever Javier questioned Lloyd Frontera, the man always paused for a brief moment, a tiny second in which he seemed to think through far too many things. Weighing his words so carefully was yet another behavior completely unlike his young lord.
Lloyd truly argued like a child, Javier thought with an odd sense of amusement.
Of course, to a old knight, watching a young man act as foolish and brazen as Lloyd only made it feel as though he were arguing with a child who had never learned to respect adults. Javier already knew perfectly well how to deal with those.
His argument that he simply “knew how” was ridiculous and did nothing to fool Javier, but he chose not to keep questioning him. After all, he had already accepted that this world was not an exact copy of the one he remembered.
He followed Lloyd to another location.
Javier remembered that he had never bothered asking where his young lord was headed. Usually, there had only ever been three places that interested Lloyd, and two of them served alcohol.
Then Javier became aware of yet another strange thing about Lloyd Frontera: this man was doing the very things Javier himself had once done.
First, uncovering Neumann’s secret, which, if true, would have spared the baron countless future troubles. Second, as Javier stared at the building before him, the very one Lloyd had ordered him to guard from the outside under the reasoning that “no one should escape,” he became convinced that this man knew far more than he wished to admit. Because staying there was one of the swindlers who had dragged the baron into devastating problems. Why was Lloyd following in his footsteps? This world was upside down.
All of those thoughts came to an abrupt halt when a dark mage appeared before him. A very familiar one. If Javier had learned anything important in his life, it was not to stumble over the same stone twice. So before the man could even attempt a spell, Javier unsheathed his sword and lunged at him with blinding speed.
The mage tried to dodge, to slip beyond his reach so he could cast the spell that, once upon a time, would have been nearly impossible for Javier to counter.
This time, in only a matter of seconds, the knight’s sword was buried deep within the man’s chest. The dark mage coughed up blood before he could even comprehend what had happened.
Javier twisted the blade carelessly inside the man’s chest, wishing upon him the greatest possible agony as he watched the light fade from his eyes beneath a mixture of pain and regret. He pulled the sword free from the man’s body and flicked the blood from its steel. Only then did he look upward, toward the window where Lloyd and that swindler were staring down at the scene with stunned expressions.
Javier sharpened his gaze and saw both of them tense, while the dark mage’s protegé clung desperately to Lloyd’s clothes, begging him not to leave him at the mercy of the knight. Lloyd timidly moved his hand up and down in a gesture clearly meant to tell Javier to calm down.
Javier sheathed his sword again, paying little attention to the corpse still lying on the ground. He might have shown more mercy when he was younger. But not anymore.
He climbed up to the room where his young lord and the man who had swindled the Frontera family were waiting. Javier’s mere presence deeply intimidated the man, reducing him to speaking in a low voice while keeping his head bowed. He had surely been far more confident before realizing just how disadvantaged he truly was. Javier retained a vague memory of all those who had driven the baron and baroness to make that terrible decision, and he would never forget that face.
The negotiation was tense, but in the end Lloyd managed to obtain what he wanted from the man, and that pleased Javier, if only for a moment. Just like that, they had gained another worker for their ranks.
Still, Javier found Lloyd’s decision to grant the man a respectable salary and all the benefits of serving the Frontera family excessive. That man deserved no such consideration. Even if most of his wages would be withheld to repay his debts, Javier could do nothing except silently disapprove of Lloyd’s actions.
Afterward, Javier had to dispose of the corpse so as not to cause further distress among the local residents, and by morning they were already returning to the city.
The carriage ride was as peaceful as such journeys could ever be, accompanied by the familiar rattling of wheels rolling over bumps and scattered stones that shook the entire carriage. Javier paid it little mind. He was too focused on keeping the family’s new employee under control, terrifying the man so thoroughly that he could do nothing except stare downward in utter defeat.
Javier did not sleep at all that day. His mind was far too restless for that. They arrived back at the mansion just in time for a late breakfast, which mostly consisted of Lloyd eating whatever he could while his parents welcomed him home warmly before returning to their own affairs.
“Hmm, the Celery Route will take time to progress,” the heir of the mansion commented to himself. “It’s easier to dig the hole than to fill it back up.” He took a large bite from a slice of bread covered in jam. “That leaves us with a few free days, Javier.”
Lloyd’s idea of a “free day” was yet another strange thing to Javier. Going out every morning and afternoon to inspect the work being done, repeatedly giving instructions to the more scatterbrained workers, making sure the materials were sturdy and of good quality, none of that resembled rest in the slightest. Even so, Javier wished with all his heart that this could be his reality. This dream was unbearably cruel.
A fantasy like this could not possibly be real. Not when his heart began pounding every time he saw the baron and baroness looking so happy, almost peaceful, while speaking so fondly to their eldest son. He could not count the number of times he had to restrain himself from running over to embrace them, from telling them how glad he was to see such joy upon their faces.
How desperately he wanted to tell them that they no longer needed to worry about Lloyd, because this time Javier would watch over him properly. He would be more attentive to them. He would help them out of their troubles if necessary. He would work harder.
There was a plea buried deep within his soul, threatening to escape at any moment. Words that formed a painful knot in his throat. He wanted to beg them to keep living happily, not to leave him behind once again.
Javier was determined to put an end to this falsehood that pierced through his heart like a dagger driven in with all the fury in the world.
The nature of this dream was difficult to understand. It seemed that Lloyd Frontera truly had been a horrible and despicable man, a purposeless alcoholic who did nothing but drain his parents’ wealth. Violent and without restraint. Then, one day, he straightened out his life. Just like that, overnight, he began to think more clearly and with determination, as though he had suddenly found goals and convictions. Aside from Lloyd’s personality and his inventions, everything else was vaguely how Javier remembered it.
It was difficult to believe that this wonderful world existed because of a single man. If Lloyd truly was the variable that had changed everything, then perhaps it would also be easier to bring this dream to an end.
Javier never had nightmares.
Dreams, yes, but whenever something bad or strange began to happen, he would wake instantly. He preferred another sleepless night over suffering within his own imagination as well. He trusted that this would become dreadful enough to finally wake him from whatever spell had brought him into this scene.
Even if this seemed to be the life he had once dreamed of, he had abandoned those fantasies long ago. He had accepted that he had lost everything, incapable of becoming strong enough to help them in the past. They would not use his family to torment him again.
That night, Lloyd guided him to his room and left the door open, silently inviting Javier inside. He hesitated, but eventually gave in.
This was the place where he had awakened into another life.
Lloyd sat down on his bed. Facing it was a chair, and Javier assumed he was meant to sit there. He did so in silence, considering what he should do next.
“Before anything else, I need to ask you something,” Lloyd began.
Javier looked at him, waiting for him to continue.
“You’re extremely capable. I know you know that. You can solve a lot of things through sheer strength, and that’s very useful to me,” he remarked casually before his expression turned more serious. “But there was no need to kill the dark mage. I mean, we could’ve captured him alive! Someone like him definitely must’ve had a huge bounty on his head!”
“I could’ve claimed the reward with just his body. They would’ve known he was a dark mage from the residual mana.”
Lloyd looked as though he were thinking about something he did not want to say, staring into empty space with far too much focus.
“That’s… no, impossible.”
Lloyd was speaking more to himself than anyone else. He must have noticed Javier’s confused expression, because he quickly added,
“Listen, Javier, you can’t just go around killing people you don’t like,” he said nervously. “I don’t know why you’re so upset, but you really don’t need to worry so much. We already know you’ll keep us safe from whatever comes our way, so… uh, yeah, try not to be so brutal.”
So even Lloyd had been afraid of him. It was unsettling. This person sitting in front of Javier was afraid of him.
The Lloyd Javier knew had always been aware of the overwhelming difference in strength between them, yet that had never stopped him from provoking the knight. In fact, the more experience Javier gained, the more interested Lloyd seemed in pressing against Sir Asrahan’s breaking points.
Javier had learned to be submissive.
He respected the baron and the baroness.
He admired the knights Sir Neumann and Bayern.
He cared deeply for Julian.
He used to fear Lloyd.
It had started as a childish thing, back when Javier was a deeply insecure boy who did not know what future awaited him or whether he should fully trust the people who had opened their doors to him. He wanted to be good so they would never regret taking him in. Lloyd had seemed oddly pleased to see Javier so timid, even obedient, before Javier understood what he wanted to do with his life.
Lloyd carried a certain confidence in everything he said, encouraged by his parents, who only saw a whiny child in need of more attention. That must have been why it became so easy for him to order Javier around.
And once Javier became a knight and swore loyalty to the baron, and by extension to his entire family, it only gave Lloyd more opportunities to grow demanding of Javier’s time and attention.
Lloyd knew that orphan would never risk harming him out of fear of losing his home. Lloyd, who drank himself senseless every single day, losing all awareness of time, of right and wrong, forgetting directions and slurring his words. Impulsive. Shameless. Reckless.
That Lloyd was now afraid of poor Javier.
This was cruel.
Javier wished Lloyd had truly feared him back when he abused his privilege as the baron’s son. When his actions ruined the lives of innocent people. When his parents looked at him in pain, forced to witness the monster they themselves had raised. When the young women tasked with cleaning the mansion walked through the more secluded halls in fear.
He did not want Lloyd’s fear now, merely because he had taken his anger out on a man who, in the future, likely would have caused even greater harm.
Javier looked him straight in the eyes.
He needed to put an end to this farce of a world.
Calmly, he got up from his seat and observed the man from above. With that lofty gaze, he carried the confidence of someone who knew Lloyd’s weaknesses and flaws after an entire lifetime spent by his side.
It was not the first time Javier had faced a spell like this. The only remarkable thing was that this illusion had lasted far longer than any previous one. Perhaps these visions were controlled by a mage, but in the end they had still been created from Javier’s own mind. And Javier knew exactly how to make this lie collapse.
“Oh, hey, where are you going? Don’t you want me to…?”
Lloyd’s question was interrupted when Javier stepped beside the dark oak desk. He leaned down slightly and slid his hand along one side, applying just enough pressure for something to click open, revealing a hidden compartment within the desk. From inside, Javier pulled out a small bottle of rum.
Every now and then, Lloyd’s parents attempted to place limits on his addictions, but a man so devoted to alcohol had clearly developed his own little tricks.
That bottle contained enough to dull his young lord’s senses.
Lloyd looked genuinely surprised, whether because Javier knew about the hidden compartment or because he never expected Javier himself to offer him a drink with such a calm and gentle expression.
Javier wanted to believe in this world with all his heart. Unfortunately, there was no faith left within him. He had long since abandoned belief in last-minute miracles and instead embraced life the way a drunkard embraces rosebushes full of thorns, entranced by the beauty of the flowers while leaving the pain for later. He would become a benevolent and charitable drunk, sharing his misery with his young lord. Like pigs writhing together in the mud, both of them would return to their old lives and everything would resolve itself. As though offering food to a wild animal, Javier lightly shook the bottle, the liquid inside sloshing softly.
[Lloyd doubts that you are Javier Asrahan.]
A bluish rectangular presence with large white letters suddenly appeared before Javier. Across from him, Lloyd could only stare at the bottle being offered to him.
“Why do you want me to… drink that?”
His voice came out strained, laced with unmistakable nervousness. As he spoke, the small rectangular figure vanished from Javier’s sight as quickly as it had appeared.
Javier took a step back. Disbelief. Surprise. He set the bottle down atop the desk. It had been difficult not to physically react to the shock of that bizarre blue thing, and now he no longer knew what to think. He could not even muster much surprise over Lloyd’s refusal to drink.
“Human beings… all of us, you and I included, do not change overnight. It is a long process that shapes us into who we are,” Javier said as he picked up the bottle and uncorked it. “We are the result of years, perhaps months, just like a rock yielding to the ocean’s erosion after decades of waves crashing against it. And like that rock, we remain marked for the rest of our lives.”
He took a drink of rum, feeling the cold liquor slide down his throat. It was far from refreshing.
“I don’t understand why you’ve been acting like a decent person all this time,” he said before throwing the rest of the drink onto the floor. “But I don’t believe you.”
Javier needed to feel his system tainted by alcohol so that nervousness would not seize his voice, already growing more fragile in his throat.
Strangely enough, his words seemed to calm the other man.
“So someone shows you a little kindness and that’s enough to make you suspicious?” Lloyd remarked in a tone that irritated Javier down to the very depths of his being. “Look, you’re a difficult customer. Just sit down and get comfortable already so we can get this over with.”
Javier hesitated for a moment, but in the end he returned to his chair. He watched Lloyd with deep distrust, until the man began speaking, and by the time Javier realized what was happening, it was already too late.
He could feel all of his senses slowly surrendering to sleep.