Work Text:
@NHL
FINAL - OTTAWA 6:2 DETROIT
The Ottawa Centaurs extend their win streak to 8 games with another dominant performance over the Red Wings.
⭐ Shane Hollander - 1G, 3A
⭐ Ilya Rozanov - 2G, 1A
⭐ Wyatt Hayes - 34 saves
The Centaurs remain first in the Atlantic Division.
#NHL #OttawaCentaurs
@CentaursOfficial
SHANE HOLLANDER BEHIND-THE-BACK ASSIST.
THAT IS THE TWEET.
@hockeygirl92
Shane Hollander is actually insane. He looks like he apologizes to furniture after bumping into it and then casually puts up four points.
@DetroitTillIDie
Can Rozanov stop scoring against us. I am begging.
@OttawaPuckMom
Ilya blowing kisses at Shane after his goal 😭 these boys adore each other.
@HaterCentral
Y’all say that every week. Teammates celebrate. Calm down.
@HaydenPike
proud of my guy ❤️
@Boodram_17
BBQ AT MY PLACE TONIGHT.
If you bring kale chips you are not invited.
@IlyaRozanov
I BRING ONLY MEAT AND VODKA, yes
@ShaneHollander
Please don’t bring vodka.
@IlyaRozanov
already in car, yes
@wyatthayes31
Coach said “hydrate responsibly” and Roz nodded while opening a beer.
@CoachWiebe
Delete this.
@luca_haas
I heard Hollander say “guys maybe keep it respectful for the neighbours” before Bood even lit the grill.
@TroyBarrett
he said it THREE TIMES
@EvanDykstra
Shane entering dad mode at age 31.
@CentaursOfficial
Reminder that all Ottawa Centaurs players are responsible adults.
@HarrisDrover
[PHOTO: Twenty people crowded around a backyard grill. Ilya has one arm around Shane’s shoulders while Shane tries unsuccessfully to stop him from flipping three burgers at once. Luca is laughing so hard he’s blurry. Someone in the background appears to be standing on a cooler.]
team chemistry 📈🥪
@SensFanatic
Why is Shane dressed like somebody’s suburban husband.
@hockeyloverrr
Because he IS somebody’s suburban husband in spirit.
@NeighbourWatch613
Can somebody from this address PLEASE stop screaming. It is almost midnight.
@Boodram_17
NOISE IS PART OF CULTURE
@NeighbourWatch613
One of you just yelled “WITNESS ME” while jumping into a hedge.
@IlyaRozanov
was Troy, yes
@wyatthayes31
Not Shane sitting in the corner with ginger ale while the others descend into madness.
@ShaneHollander
Some of us have standards.
@IlyaRozanov
baby, you ate three hot dogs in ten minutes
@NHLTea
BABY???
@hockeygirl92
EXCUSE ME???
@IlyaRozanov
I meant buddy.
Autocorrect.
@HarrisDrover
sure man
@NeighbourWatch613
WAIT WHY DID EVERYONE JUST LEAVE
@NeighbourWatch613
I am serious. The entire house emptied in under two minutes.
@NeighbourWatch613
One curly-haired guy sprinted out carrying foil-wrapped ribs.
@NeighbourWatch613
I think something weird is happening with the Ottawa Centaurs.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@OttawaAlerts
Heavy activity reported tonight at St. Mary’s Medical Center. Several Ottawa Centaurs players seen entering through east entrance.
@SportsTalkDaily
Wait why are the ENTIRE Centaurs at the hospital at 1:12 AM???
@Marlow27
hospital cafeteria fries slap
@FanDetective
Cliff Marlow being online at a time like this is not helping.
@hockeyinsider99
Sources say the whole Ottawa team was seen entering the maternity ward.
@PuckBunny44
M A T E R N I T Y ???
@NHLGossip
NO because if Rozanov got somebody pregnant Twitter is going to combust.
@DetroitTillIDie
That man spent ten years looking like the final boss of situationships.
@NHLTea
Imagine being the random woman who got pregnant by Ilya Rozanov and now the entire Ottawa Centaurs roster is in the waiting room.
@wyatthayes31
We are not discussing anything at this time.
@luca_haas
Wyatt typed this like he’s the White House press secretary.
@Boodram_17
I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW I WAS PROMISED HOSPITAL VENDING MACHINE CHIPS
@NeighbourWatch613
I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP
@ShaneUpdates
Guys. Guys.
Yuna and David Hollander just arrived at the hospital.
@OttawaPuckMom
OH MY GOD SHANE IS HAVING A BABY???
@NHLTea
WAIT.
WAIT.
WAIT.
WITH WHO???
@RoseLandryDaily
Shane dated Rose Landry for like six weeks in 2019 but there has never been anybody else publicly???
@FilmGirl88
Rose Landry is literally in New Zealand filming a movie right now.
@HaydenPike
everybody breathe please
@SportsTalkDaily
Hayden Pike has four children already. Highly unlikely this is about him.
@ConspiracyCorner
Unless Hayden Pike is collecting children like Infinity Stones.
@HaydenPike
what a horrible day to know how to read
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@StMarysNurse87
Not supposed to say much but yes, a surrogate mother named Rita Elliott is currently in labour.
@InternetChaos
YOU WHAT
@NHLTea
A SURROGATE???
@SportsTalkDaily
DELETE THIS BEFORE HR SEES IT
@StMarysNurse87
too late probably
@hockeygirl92
Okay so whose baby is it???
@ConspiracyCorner
We need timelines. We need charts. We need forensic analysis.
@NeighbourWatch613
I just wanted them to turn the music down.
@Boodram_17
and now you caused international incident
@OttawaPuckMom
Shane using a surrogate makes sense honestly. That man was born to own tiny cardigans and pack apple slices for soccer practice.
@NHLTea
Counterpoint: Ilya Rozanov once got fined for chirping a referee in Russian. Are we sure he should be around children.
@IlyaRozanov
children love me, yes
@NHLTea
WHY ARE YOU ONLINE
@IlyaRozanov
Shane pacing hole into floor. I distract myself, yes
@ShaneUpdates
Oh my god.
@HarrisDrover
I am begging every player on this team to stop tweeting.
@CoachWiebe
Seconded.
@EvanDykstra
Coach has been staring at the same coffee for forty minutes.
@CoachWiebe
I am tired.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@svetavetrova
I AM SO EXCITED 😭❤️
@NHLTea
HELLO???
@PuckBunny44
Why is Svetlana Vetrova involved???
@HockeyHistory
Reminder that Svetlana Vetrova and Ilya Rozanov grew up together in Moscow and were rumoured to have dated years ago.
@ConspiracyCorner
WHAT IS THIS FAMILY TREE
@svetavetrova
you people are so dramatic 😭
@NHLTea
THEN EXPLAIN
@svetavetrova
no ❤️
@NeighbourWatch613
This night has ruined my life.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@HospitalVisitor22
Not posting pics because that feels invasive but I just saw Rozanov hugging Hollander in the hallway.
Like FULL body hug. Hollander looked really overwhelmed and Roz was rubbing his back and talking to him the entire time.
I don’t know man. That didn’t look like teammates.
@hockeygirl92
…oh.
@NHLTea
OH?????????
@PuckBunny44
WAIT A DAMN MINUTE
@SportsTalkDaily
For context, there have been years of jokes among fans about Rozanov’s fixation on Hollander.
@OldSensArchive
compilation thread:
- 2016 - Rozanov fights a guy for hitting Hollander late
- 2017 - Rozanov says “Shane smile pretty after win, yes” in postgame interview
- 2018 - caught fixing Shane’s tie before awards ceremony
- 2019 - “accidentally” kisses Shane’s temple during Cup parade
- 2021 - buys Shane a custom espresso machine for birthday
- 2023 - stares at Shane like he hung the moon for an entire outdoor game
@ConspiracyCorner
THIS MAN HAS BEEN IN LOVE ON MAIN FOR A DECADE
@DetroitTillIDie
The manwhore persona was a cover story?????
@NeighbourWatch613
I complained about noise and uncovered secret hockey romance.
@Marlow27
legend behaviour
@HaydenPike
can everybody maybe give them some grace tonight
@OttawaPuckMom
Hayden Pike knew the whole time oh my GOD
@HaydenPike
i know many things
@Boodram_17
he also knows where coach hides emergency chocolate bars
@CoachWiebe
Blocked.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@NHLBreakaway
Speculation increasing online that Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov may be romantically involved after multiple eyewitness reports from St. Mary’s Medical Center tonight.
Neither player has commented.
@HaterCentral
No way. NHL locker rooms would never allow that.
@hockeygirl92
And that right there is why athletes stay closeted.
@QueerSportsNet
If true, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov would instantly become one of the highest-profile queer couples in professional sports history.
@DetroitTillIDie
I feel like I owe several fanfiction writers an apology.
@FanficReader88
SEVERAL???
@DetroitTillIDie
hundreds probably
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@YunaHollander
Please keep Rita in your thoughts tonight. ❤️
@OttawaPuckMom
MRS HOLLANDER CONFIRMED IT
@InternetChaos
THE BABY IS SHANE’S
@NHLTea
Okay but where does Rozanov fit into this???
@HospitalVisitor22
Again, respectfully, those two were holding each other like divorced penguins reunited after war.
@ScienceBirds
That is… weirdly specific but emotionally compelling.
@ShaneUpdates
WAIT.
WAIT.
Somebody in the hospital café says David Hollander called Ilya “son.”
@ConspiracyCorner
OH THEY ARE MARRIED MARRIED
@NeighbourWatch613
This has escalated beyond my control.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@RoseLandry
I leave for ONE film shoot and hockey Twitter starts solving conspiracy theories at 3 AM.
For the record: Shane Hollander is lovely, deeply kind, makes excellent banana bread, and was absolutely never in love with me.
Congratulations to whoever this baby belongs to 😉❤️
@FilmGirl88
OH MY GOD???
@NHLTea
ROSE LANDRY JUST DROPPED A NUCLEAR BOMB SO CASUALLY
@NeighbourWatch613
banana bread feels important somehow
@HaydenPike
it is very good banana bread
@IlyaRozanov
he puts cinnamon in recipe, yes
@InternetChaos
SIR.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@HarrisDrover
Current status in hospital waiting room:
- Bood ate all vending machine pretzels
- Coach Wiebe fell asleep upright in chair
- Luca is teaching an old lady what “shipping” means
- Roz has not stopped staring at Shane for approximately four hours
@luca_haas
the old lady thinks “slow burn” means crockpot recipe
@OldLadyGwen
young man named ilya has beautiful hair
@InternetChaos
WHO GAVE GRANDMA WIFI
@NeighbourWatch613
This feels less like sports news and more like season finale television.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@StMarysNurse87
BABY IS HERE
@EVERYONE
?????????????
@StMarysNurse87
healthy baby girl ❤️
@OttawaPuckMom
CRYING
@hockeygirl92
I DON’T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE PERSONALLY AND I’M SOBBING
@Marlow27
tiny human have Hollander freckles already
@NeighbourWatch613
THE BABY HAS FRECKLES??? HOW???
@Marlow27
yes. like cinnamon sprinkle.
@InternetChaos
That is the cutest sentence ever tweeted.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@ShaneHollander
There really aren’t words big enough for tonight.
Welcome to the world, Mila Irina Hollander-Rozanov. Born in the early morning hours surrounded by more love than we ever thought possible.
She’s healthy. Rita is healthy. We’re overwhelmed and grateful.
And yes - after many years of keeping our private life private - we can finally say it openly:
We’re married. We’ve been together for a long time. We built a family together.
Thank you to everyone who showed kindness tonight. Please give Rita privacy and love for the incredible thing she’s done for us.
Shane & Ilya
❤️
[PHOTO: Shane in a hospital bed holding a tiny dark-haired baby wrapped in a white blanket. Ilya sits beside him staring at the baby with red-rimmed eyes and an expression of complete disbelief and devotion.]
@IlyaRozanov
my girls ❤️, yes
[PHOTO: Ilya holding Mila against his chest while Shane laughs beside him.]
@InternetChaos
OH MY GOD
@NHLTea
THEY’RE MARRIED??????????
@OttawaPuckMom
I AM NEVER RECOVERING FROM THIS
@QueerSportsNet
Historic day for hockey.
Congratulations to Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov on their marriage and the birth of their daughter Mila.
@NeighbourWatch613
I complained about loud music and accidentally witnessed the greatest love story in the NHL.
@Boodram_17
worth it
@CoachWiebe
Team curfew remains in effect tomorrow.
@EvanDykstra
Coach they literally had a baby.
@CoachWiebe
And?
@luca_haas
ice bath at 10. birth at 2. hockey waits for no man.
@HarrisDrover
Mila Irina Hollander-Rozanov already has more followers than me.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@SportsTalkDaily
In his statement to reporters this morning, Ilya Rozanov shared that while Shane Hollander is Mila’s biological father, the couple chose that path because of Ilya’s family medical history.
Rozanov’s mother, Irina, died when he was young after struggling with depression. His father later developed dementia.
Rozanov: “Mila is Shane’s blood maybe, but she is my daughter in every way that matters, yes.”
@hockeygirl92
Well now I’m crying in a parking lot.
@QueerSportsNet
That explains the Irina Foundation.
@InternetChaos
OH.
OH THAT FOUNDATION NAME JUST HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK.
@PuckBunny44
Imagine loving someone enough to trust them with every broken part of your history.
@DetroitTillIDie
How dare this hockey romance have emotional depth.
@ShaneUpdates
Additional quote from Shane Hollander:
“Ilya loved Mila before she existed. There was never a question whose daughter she would be.”
@NeighbourWatch613
I need compensation for emotional damages.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@svetavetrova
for everyone asking:
Ilya has wanted to be a father since we were teenagers. He used to carry around stray cats in his coat and cry over baby videos 😭
Shane never stood a chance.
@IlyaRozanov
betrayal, yes
@svetavetrova
you made Mila a playlist before she was born.
@IlyaRozanov
important for brain development, yes
@InternetChaos
This man spent a decade pretending to be a chaotic playboy while secretly being a wife guy.
@Marlow27
elite long con
@RoseLandry
Now that everything’s public I can finally admit this:
One time Shane left a dinner early because Ilya “looked sad during warmups”.
I thought it was a joke.
It was not.
@FilmGirl88
THIS IS INSANE
@HaydenPike
that was after Roz lost his favourite socks.
@IlyaRozanov
it had little bears on it :(
@ShaneHollander
You cried.
@IlyaRozanov
ONLY LITTLE BIT, yes
@InternetChaos
The heterosexual allegations are in SHAMBLES.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@NHL
Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov have received overwhelming support from across the hockey world after announcing their marriage and the birth of their daughter, Mila.
@ConnorMcDavidFan55
League about to become exponentially safer for queer players because two hockey idiots fell in love.
@HaterCentral
Still weird.
@OttawaPuckMom
ratio + Mila has freckles
@NeighbourWatch613
yeah honestly the freckles ended the debate for me too
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@HarrisDrover
Update from this morning:
Shane has not stopped smiling once.
Roz cried because Mila grabbed his finger.
Bood asked if babies can eat barbecue sauce.
Coach Wiebe nearly had cardiac arrest.
@CoachWiebe
HE WAS HOLDING THE BOTTLE OF SAUCE OVER THE BABY
@Boodram_17
SHE LOOKED CURIOUS
@luca_haas
Mila’s first word is going to be “bro”.
@wyatthayes31
Or “yes”.
@IlyaRozanov
ideal outcome, yes
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@ShaneHollander
We’ve spent a long time being afraid.
Of the league. Of the media. Of what people would say. Of losing things we loved.
But then Mila arrived, and suddenly being scared felt smaller than being honest.
Thank you for loving our family.
Shane & Ilya
❤️
@InternetChaos
I’m devastated in the best way.
@QueerSportsNet
There are going to be queer kids in hockey seeing this today and believing they can have a future too.
@NeighbourWatch613
I just wanted eight hours of sleep man
@Marlow27
instead you got emotional growth
@NeighbourWatch613
worst trade deal ever
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
@CentaursOfficial
The Ottawa Centaurs would like to congratulate Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov on the birth of their daughter Mila Irina Hollander-Rozanov.
Please note that any player attempting to teach the baby chirping techniques before age three will be fined.
@TroyBarrett
literally oppression
@IlyaRozanov
I teach her first chirp myself, yes
@ShaneHollander
Absolutely not.
@IlyaRozanov
too late. i already tell her Detroit defense weak, yes
@DetroitTillIDie
LEAVE US ALONE
@NeighbourWatch613
And thus ends the weirdest night of my entire life.
I complained about a barbecue and accidentally helped two hockey players come out, reveal a secret marriage, announce a surrogate baby, heal the sport emotionally, and introduce a newborn with freckles to the internet.
I should probably send a fruit basket.
@IlyaRozanov
send ribs instead, yes