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The digital clock on the nightstand showed 3:17 when Eddie Diaz's eyes opened, though it took him a moment to realize what had woken him.
Buck was sprawled half on his stomach, half on Eddie, one arm draped heavily across Eddie's waist as if he'd decided sometime around midnight that Eddie was a human body pillow and he just had to accept his fate. His face was pressed into the pillow, flattening his cheek and pushing his lips into a slight, soft pout. His curls were completely unruly, sticking up in dozens of different directions, and with every few breaths, he let out a soft, rumbling snore that Eddie would swear he didn't find endearing
It had taken Eddie months to adjust to sleeping next to someone again after so many years of an empty bed. And truth to be told, it took about the same amount of time to get used to sleeping beside Buck. Not because he was difficult, not really. It was more that sharing a bed with Evan Buckley felt like a full-contact sport.
For someone who spent his waking hours insisting he wasn't clingy, Buck slept like a man personally offended by the concept of personal space. He began the night on his own side of the bed, respectful and reasonable, all long limbs neatly tucked in and a kiss placed gently on Eddie's shoulder before drifting off.
After a few hours, all that good behavior vanished. Buck had a habit of migrating across the mattress like a heat-seeking missile, pursuing Eddie with the single-minded determination of someone who had clearly mistaken him for shelter. One of his legs was hooked over Eddie's shin, his arm locked around his waist, his fingers loosely curled into the hem of his shirt. It was as if, even unconscious, Buck had decided Eddie wasn't allowed to go anywhere without filing the proper paperwork.
Eddie ought to have been annoyed, and, in fact, he was.
His hip was starting to go numb and he had barely six inches of mattress left to himself. The blankets were tangled somewhere around Buck's knees because Buck had complained about being too hot earlier, kicked them off, and then snatched them back less than thirty minutes later.
Buck slept with his entire body, just like he approached everything else — trusting the bed to support him, trusting the house to stay upright, trusting Eddie not to shove him off even when he was drooling on his pillow and slowly crushing his spleen.
That was probably the part Eddie found hard to complain about because there had been a time when Buck didn't sleep like this. There were nights on Eddie's couch when Buck would jerk awake at the slightest noise, shoulders tight, eyes unfocused, already halfway to apologizing for needing anything at all.
Then there was New Mexico. Buck barely got any sleep for weeks afterward. He tried to pretend he did, obviously. He joked his way through breakfast, brewed coffee way too strong, smiled a little too quickly and whenever Eddie found him awake at two in the morning, he'd just say he was "a little wired." But Eddie caught on to everything. He noticed Buck sitting on the couch with a light on, how he stopped sleeping with his back to the door and how he made sure the bedroom door stayed open.
Buck was good at hiding when he was awake. He could easily plaster a grin over fear, turn pain into a joke and brush off concern with that bright "I'm good, Eddie, I swear" that made Eddie want to both shake him and hold him at once.
In the dark, Buck couldn't hide quite as well. The first night he slept in Eddie's bed, two months after New Mexico, he didn't sleep at all. Eddie knew because he wasn't asleep either. They laid there side by side, both of them pretending for the other's sake. Buck stayed on the very edge of the mattress, too careful and too still as if afraid to take up space. Eddie lay on his back, staring at the ceiling, listening to Buck's breathing.
A few hours later, Eddie shifted onto his side. "Buck," he had whispered.
Buck's eyes snapped open right away, too quickly. "Yeah?"
Eddie had wanted to say a hundred things to comfort him, but knowing that direct gentleness made Buck feel trapped, he lifted the edge of the blanket and said, "You're stealing all the cold air."
Buck had looked at him, then slowly and deliberately, he shifted closer, just enough for their shoulders to brush. It took another week before Buck allowed Eddie to pull him in. Another two weeks passed before he stopped apologizing for waking him. And another month went by before Eddie woke up and realized Buck had slept through the night for the first time since New Mexico, his forehead resting between Eddie's shoulder blades, one hand clenched in the back of Eddie's shirt like he'd anchored himself there and finally trusted that anchor to hold.
So yeah, maybe Eddie's hip was numb, maybe he'd lost all legal claim to his own side of the bed, but Buck was asleep, truly asleep.
Most nights, the steady rise and fall of Buck's breathing served better than any white noise machine. It wasn't always quiet. Buck wasn't naturally a silent sleeper. He'd huff into his pillow, shift around a lot, mumble strange things from dreams Eddie could never quite understand and sometimes he snored. But all of that was a comfort to Eddie.
For years, sleep had been something Eddie managed rather than fully trusted. He got just enough to function, enough to show up and keep going. Even in his own bed, in his own home, a part of him had always stayed alert, listening for Christopher, for trouble, for the next thing that needed his attention before it could turn into a crisis.
Then Buck settled into a permanent spot beside him, all long limbs, warmth and unwavering devotion, and Eddie's nervous system gradually began to trust in rest once more.
Buck would usually fall asleep first, as if sleep tackled him suddenly, and Eddie would lie there in the dark, listening to his breathing, to the small movements he made during the night, to the gentle brush of Buck's fingers against his shirt when he reached out for him without waking. And somewhere within that steady rhythm, Eddie's jaw would unclench, his shoulders would relax into the mattress, the part of his brain that stayed alert would slowly lower its guard, and with Buck beside him, the house quiet, Christopher and Theo safe down the hall, Eddie could almost convince himself he was safe too.
But Eddie Diaz had served as a soldier long before he ever became a firefighter.
He had spent years sleeping in places where sleep was never truly restful. Where the darkness had edges, and silence didn't bring peace, only the absence of the sound you were waiting for. Where the moments between opening your eyes and reacting could mean the difference between life and death. His body held onto the memory even when the rest of him tried to let go.
It remembered how danger could announce itself in the smallest things: the wrong scrape of gravel, the distant crack of a gun fired, the sudden silence where conversation once was, the shift in the air just before everything went wrong. It remembered waking with his hand already reaching out, his heart pounding and his mind racing through threat, cover, escape routes and weapons.
Then he came home and became a firefighter, and the habit simply took on a new form. Different dangers, different sounds, different instincts. The dispatch tones tearing through the station at two in the morning, the split-second evaluation of a burning building before stepping inside, the mental checklist of exits, victims, structural weaknesses, flame behavior, team locations. Eddie's brain was hardwired to pick up on subtle shift in his surroundings.
Which was precisely why, when he heard the soft groan beneath a small foot, his eyes snapped open. He fixed his gaze on the darkness until another sound came — a faint creak from the bedroom door.
A small shadow crept into their room. At five years old, Theo had the stealth of a tiny ninja, right up until he stumbled over the corner of the rug.
"Ow," a small, muffled voice murmured.
Eddie sighed softly, gently lifting Buck's heavy arm off him. Buck let out a quiet, offended noise in his sleep and instantly tried to reach for him, fingers curling against Eddie's shirt.
"Not now," Eddie murmured, gently laying Buck's hand back on the mattress. Buck let out a soft huff and relaxed as Eddie swung his legs over the side of the bed, keeping his voice low to avoid waking his boyfriend further.
"Theo? Buddy, what are you doing up?"
Theo didn't respond. He stood still, looking very much like someone caught in the act and unsure whether to run or explain himself. His dinosaur pajamas were slightly twisted at the waist, one pant leg bunched up around his calf, and one of his hand clutched the soft red panda plushie Buck and Eddie had given him at the zoo a month ago.
Eddie's chest softened at the sight. Theo had instantly fallen for the red pandas, pressing both hands and his nose against the glass while one of them lazily climbed across a branch as if it had nowhere else in the world to be. Buck had lasted exactly seven minutes in the gift shop before folding completely, despite Eddie's reminding him that they had already bought Theo a dinosaur cup, a pack of animal stickers, and one wildly overpriced elephant-shaped pretzel.
Then Theo had picked up the red panda plushie, tucked it under his chin, and whispered, "He's my new best friend." Buck glanced at Eddie, Eddie looked back at Buck, and the red panda came home with them, Theo never letting go of it.
Now, Theo held it close against his chest, its striped tail flattened beneath his arm, one round ear pressed softly against his cheek. He looked small in the doorway — small and sleepy, and scared enough to come looking for them.
"Hey," Eddie whispered. "Are you alright?"
Theo remained silent. His eyes darted to Eddie for brief moment — wide and dark and far too alert for three in the morning, before glancing past him to the other side of the bed.
Buck slept on, completely unaware of the tiny figure approaching him with a purpose. His face remained pressed into the pillow. He let out a soft snore, then sighed against the fabric. Theo stopped beside him and simply stood there, watching. Then he reached up and gently tapped the edge of the mattress. When Buck didn't wake, he tapped it again, a bit more firmly but it was no use.
"Buddy," Eddie said, struggling to keep a straight face at Theo's furrowed brow. "Buck's asleep."
Theo placed the red panda gently on the blanket, set both hands on the side of the mattress, and tried to climb up. One knee made it onto the bed before his foot slipped against the frame and slid back down with a small huff of frustration.
"Careful," Eddie said as he stepped forward, but Theo had already grabbed the comforter and was trying again. Eddie caught him under the arms and lifted him before he could tumble backward.
Theo squirmed right away. "-ddie."
"Yeah, hi," Eddie whispered, a hint of amusement in his voice despite himself. "Remember me?"
"I need Buck," the words came out quietly. Eddie's amusement softened into something more tender. He looked at Theo, at the way his lower lip quivered despite the stubborn set of his little jaw , and how he kept one hand stretched toward Buck as if he were the only safe harbor he could see in the dark.
Eddie lifted Theo onto the bed, and he crawled over to Buck, pulling the red panda plushie along with him. The mattress sank slightly under his small weight, but Buck didn't move.
Theo paused beside him, studying him for a moment. Eddie could almost see the problem taking shape in his five-year-old mind. Theo had made it all this way, he braved the hallway, survived the rug, climbed the bed with Eddie's help, and even brought the red panda for backup and yet, Buck, who was clearly the entire point of the mission, stubbornly remained asleep.
"Buck," whispered Theo as he leaned over him. Buck responded with a low, rumbling snore that made Theo blink. He turned his head and glanced back at Eddie, as if he might explain why Buck was defective.
Eddie pressed his lips together and said, "give it another try."
He crawled a little closer on his knees and placed one tiny hand on Buck's shoulder. "Buck."
Buck's face twitched, and for one hopeful moment, Eddie thought that might be enough. Then Buck exhaled into the pillow and somehow sank even deeper into sleep.
Theo looked offended now, and Eddie couldn't blame him. Theo had picked up plenty from growing up in their house, including Eddie's stubborn refusal to accept defeat quietly. So, after a brief pause, Theo reached out with a careful finger and poked Buck's cheek.
Buck's nose wrinkled.
"Buck," Theo whispered once more, this time with a slight hint of frustration. He poked Buck again, and this time, Buck drew in a sharp breath through his nose. His brow knitted together, and his head lifted a fraction from the pillow before settling back down.
"Hm?" he mumbled, his voice rough, and barely audible.
"Buck, wake up."
Buck's eyes fluttered open halfway and looked utterly lost for a moment, caught in that hazy space between sleep and wakefulness, as if he had been yanked from a dream and dropped into the wrong room. Theo was kneeling just inches from his face, wearing an expression of grave seriousness.
"Hey, Theo," Buck croaked, propping himself up on one elbow. "What's the matter?"
Theo didn't reply, At least not with words. His face softened just a bit, the serious resolve that had carried him from his room finally fading now that Buck was awake and watching him. He reached out with both arms, the plushie squished awkwardly between them.
Buck sat up fully, still blinking the sleep form his eyes, and scooped Theo into his lap as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Theo went willingly, folding himself against Buck's chest with a quiet, shaky breath, his small fingers clutching the worn fabric of Buck's T-shirt. He pressed his face into the hollow beneath Buck's jaw.
"What happened?" Buck whispered, "Bad dream?"
Theo gave a small shake of his head.
Buck tilted his chin down, his cheek brushing Theo's curls. "You feeling sick?"
Another slight shake.
Buck glanced at Eddie who shrugged one shoulder in helplessness. "He wouldn't tell me."
Theo breathed in little uneven pulls, not quite crying, but close enough that Eddie could feel each one of them deep in his own ribs. Buck kept rubbing his back, just like he did with kids on calls, the same way he had always comforted Christopher and the way he soothed Eddie when he woke up from nightmares he didn't want to talk about.
At last, Theo shifted his face just enough for his own voice to slip out from beneath Buck's shirt. "The dark was too big."
Theo sounded a little embarrassed, as if he realized the words didn't quite add up and feared they might be called out. But Buck just tightened his hold slightly and pressed his lips against Theo's tousled hair.
"Yeah," he whispered. "Sometimes it does feel like that."
Theo sniffed and pulled back to look at Buck. His eyes were wide and gleaming in the faint red glow of the clock. "It was in my room."
"The dark?" Buck inquired.
Theo nodded with a serious expression. "All of it."
Buck nodded in return, equally serious. "That's a lot of darkness."
Theo pulled the red panda a little closer. "Can you come?"
Buck's thumb lingered on the back of Theo's pajama top. "Come where, buddy?"
"My room."
Eddie had a pretty good idea of what was about to be said even before Theo spoke.
"Can you sleep next to me?"
Buck's mouth parted slightly as Eddie watched the answer form on his face. Yes, of course. Buck would sleep on the floor beside Theo's bed until his back seized up. He would spend the rest of the night half-covered by a dinosaur blanket and would wake up sore and exhausted and still say it was fine if it meant Theo stopped being scared.
Buck's heart didn't just bleed, it completely melted, especially when it came to the kids.
"Woah, woah, hold on a second," Eddie interrupted gently, cutting in before Buck could fully mobilize his massive frame and abandon ship. "Theo, look at me, buddy."
Theo shifted his gaze, turning his head from Buck to Eddie.
"Buddy, we've been over this," Eddie said, softening his voice but keeping it grounded. He shifted on the mattress, leaning over so he was closer to him. "You got your own big boy bed, remember? You're growing up, and part of growing up means being independent. You need to learn to sleep in your own room, even when the dark feels really big. You're a big boy now."
Theo blinked his huge doe-like eyes, which he unfortunately inherited directly from Eddie. He glanced back at Buck, who looked just like a golden retriever that had just been told it couldn't go for a walk.
Theo drew in a deep breath, puffed up his chest, and folded his little arms over his red panda.
"But, Eddie," Theo said, "Buck is bigger than I am."
Eddie frowned a little, thrown off by the sudden pivot. "Yeah, he is. What's your point?"
"And he's a grown-up," Theo went on, lifting his chin with a hint of defiance. "He doesn't sleep alone. He sleeps with you every night because he's afraid of the dark too. He should learn to be independent first."
From the other side of the bed, Buck snorted loudly, pressing his face into his hands to stifle a sudden, violent burst of laughter. Eddie turned his head and shot Buck with a warning glare.
"He's not scared of the dark, Theo," Eddie answered. "And that's a whole different thing. We're adults, we share a room."
Theo considered that for exactly half a second, his face scrunching up in thought, the red panda pressed tightly against his chest as if it were serving both emotional support and legal advice. Eddie could see the wheels turning behind his sleepy eyes, trying to find a gap in Eddie's reasoning big enough to slip through. Then he looked at Buck who, unfortunately, was still very much losing his fight against laughter.
Eddie glared at him, but that only seemed to make things worse. Buck let out a strangled noise into his palm.
"Buck," Eddie cautioned.
Buck raised his head just enough to meet his gaze, his cheeks reddened from holding back a laugh. "Don't look at me like that."
"I'm looking at you because you're the one laughing."
"I'm laughing because his reasoning makes sense"
"Buck."
"What?" he said, his voice cracking a little. He gestured helplessly toward Theo, who wore expression of a child utterly convinced they had made a winning argument. "I'm sorry, but it is. He's made a good point. A strange point, but still a point."
Theo nodded seriously, clearly pleased by the support.
Eddie narrowed his eyes. "Do not encourage him."
"I'm not."
"You mentioned that his reasoning was convincing."
"It is." Buck pressed his lips together, holding back another smile. "That doesn't mean I'm encouraging him. It means I respect the framework of his argument."
Eddie fixed his gaze on him.
"Okay. No, you're right. I'm done."
Theo looked up at him, feeling betrayed, and Buck instantly softened. "Not done with you, bud. Just done laughing."
"We'll see," Eddie murmured.
Buck cleared his throat. "Alright," he said, aiming for a serious tone and only partly pulling it off. "How about a compromise? Plan B."
Theo glanced at Buck cautiously, hugging his red panda tighter, now feeling suspicious. "What's plan B?"
"Plan B is…" Buck glanced at Eddie, then back at Theo. "I won't stay in your room all night." Theo's face immediately fell, and Buck hurried on before the quiver in his lower lip could turn into tears. "Because Eds right, you need to get used to sleeping in your own room." Buck continued gently, ignoring the triumphant grin Eddie shot him. "But, I will come over and sit in the chair by your bed until you fall asleep. Deal?"
Theo considered this, his young mind weighing the tactical options. "Can we keep the lights on?"
"No lights," Eddie cut right away. "It's past three in the morning, Theo. You won't be able to fall asleep with the overhead lights on."
"Just the hallway light, then?" Theo asked, looking back at Buck for support.
"Just the nightlight," Eddie countered firmly.
Theo halted. He gradually turned his head to meet Eddie's gaze, his mouth pulling into a tight, exaggerated unimpressed grimace. It was a look of pure, unfiltered judgment.
Buck burst out laughing, a loud, barking noise that filled through the quiet house. He covered his mouth with one hand, his shoulders trembling as he pulled Theo closer. "He literally hates your rules right now, just look at his face."
"I see the face, Buck," Eddie said, struggling to hold back his own grin. He looked at Theo, then at his boyfriend, and threw his hands up in playful surrender. "Alright, fine. Here's the final offer: the moon nightlight stays on, the bedroom door stays cracked open, and Buck will sit with you for ten minutes."
Theo didn't skip a beat. He raised five fingers, spreading them wide. "Fifteen."
"Ten," Eddie repeated.
"Fourteen," Theo countered.
"Are you seriously trying to bargain with me at three in the morning?" Eddie asked, incredulous.
Suddenly, a choked, muffled sound drifted down the hallway from the direction of the other bedroom. Eddie sighed, looking out the open door. "Christopher! I know you're awake, go back to sleep!"
"I can't!" Chris answered, his voice heavy with barely hidden amusement. "Theo is wrecking you, dad! Just give him the fifteen minutes, you're losing."
Buck let out a strangled sound that he quickly tried to pass off as a cough.
"Christopher!" Eddie called back, though there was no real heat in it. He turned again to the tiny negotiator standing before him. "Fine. But you have to actually close your eyes and try to sleep. Deal?"
Theo's face instantly lit up with a bright, victorious smile. "Deal!" He reached up, slapping his small hand into Eddie's palm to seal the agreement, then immediately grabbed Buck's hand.
"Come on, Buck," Eddie said, suddenly back to being all business again. "I'm timing you."
"You're timing me?" Buck blinked, shifting his gaze back to Eddie, his brow knitting into that classic confused puppy look.
"I have ulterior motives," Eddie said, voice low and way too smooth for three in the morning, a smirk playing on his lips as he grabbed his phone from the nightstand. "I need you back in this bed ASAP."
Buck paused in the doorway, a teasing grin breaking through his sleep-ruffled face, his eyes narrowing with instant suspicion. He knew that tone. "Oh yeah? Missing your human pillow already, Diaz?
Eddie let his eyes trail over him for half a second longer than necessary.
"Eddie."
"What?," Eddie asked, feigning innocence, which was really just a front. "I'm just saying, if Theo gets fifteen minutes of you being brave in the dark, then I get you back afterward."
"Oh," he murmured. "Is that how it works?"
"We made a deal. I'm honoring the terms."
"Theo made the deal," Buck corrected Eddie.
"And I'm the one who's lending you out."
Buck huffed, appearing both scandalized and delighted. "Lending me out?"
"For fifteen minutes," Eddie replied.
"Buck," Theo urged. "Come on."
"In a second, buddy," Buck murmured almost without thinking, though his eyes remained on Eddie, who was smiling.
"Don't make me wait."
"Gross!" Christopher's voice drifted softly from the hallway.
Eddie shut his eyes as Buck let out a bark of laughter, immediately clapping a hand over his mouth.
Theo frowned. "What's gross?"
"Nothing," Eddie and Buck said together.
Christopher sneered from his room. "Sure," he said.
"Christopher Diaz!"
"I'm asleep," Chris replied.
"No, you're not."
"I'm asleep and judging."
Buck was laughing silently now, shoulders shaking while Theo pulled at his hand again.
"Go, before I change my mind about those fifteen minutes," Eddie said.
"Change your mind about which part?" asked Buck.
Eddie's eyes narrowed, but the smile gave him away. "You're testing me."
"Maybe."
"Be careful."
Buck's grin softened into something fond and mischievous at the same time. "I like when you say that."
"Buck."
Theo groaned with exaggerated flair. "Buuuck."
Buck looked down at him, instantly switching back into soft dad mode. "Alright, alright. Lead the way, boss."
Theo walked forward, victorious, pulling Buck along by one hand. Buck looked back at Eddie again and mouthed, fifteen minutes. Eddie chuckled and mouthed back, I'm timing you. Then Theo yanked Buck into the hallway.
From Christopher's room came a muffled, "You two are disgusting."
"Go to sleep, Chris."
"Gladly. Before Buck returns."
Eddie laughed again, softer this time, listening as Buck's low voice disappeared down the hall with Theo's drowsy instructions. Eddie just shook his head, falling back onto his pillow with a soft laugh. He was completely outnumbered in this house, and honestly? He wouldn't have it any other way.