Chapter Text
I would say it hurts dying.
I would be lying.
Dying does not hurt, so much as it is cold. It is a freezing, unrelenting force that chills you to your bones.
It is a terrible, horrible force that blurs your mind, slows your thoughts, and makes it so, so hard to think.
As if it wasn't hard enough to think already, with the knowledge of everything running through my head, fast enough to tear most people apart.
Most people have not merged with The King in Yellow, The King who holds all that knowledge like it is nothing to care about. The King, who is the only thing keeping my mind in one single piece, yet is the reason it is being destroyed in the first place.
The King is an asshole, through and through. Even in our last moments, He could- no- He would not shut up. Honestly, even with death and the knowledge of everything, His voice was somehow still the thing that took up the most space. Perhaps it was because He could command the plot. Perhaps it was because he was just that annoying.
Every part of death is cold.
It is horrible that it cannot give you anything to hurt. It is horrible. It takes away the pain. It freezes it over. It is horrible. It leaves me with my thoughts, and that is the worst punishment anything could have enforced onto me.
I supposed that with the last few minutes that I had, I would fix what was needed to be fixed.
Fixed was most likely not the correct word to use in this situation, but it would work.
Repair would work just as well for the course.
"Shut. Up," I hissed through gritted teeth, not for the first time, as I typed.
It was almost done, almost perfect. It would never be perfect. Not perfect, but complete.
I just wish I could have told him more than my name. Told him more in the letter almost finished. I couldn't. I may have tried, but I couldn't.
I wish we could have had more time. It was almost impossible for that to happen... so much death was happening around me.
It is only us.
Nobody else will die in these seconds but us.
Be graceful with your last words, Knight
I was going to be anything but 'graceful' with my last words, "Fuck you, King."
Silence answered me, in the way it normally would. I could already hear the fireworks going off, the ones that Avery would hear as well. Oh, Avery.
I'm sorry.
You might say that I have nothing to be sorry for, but I cannot be more sorry to you.
I have caused you pain and I cannot forgive myself for it. I only hope that you can eventually.
I hope that you will live your life to the fullest. I do truly hope that you do. God... I'm fairly sure I was shivering, but everything was so numb that I couldn't tell at all. Barely being able to lift up my arm didn't help with that.
I could barely hear anything. I couldn't tell what was happening anymore. The fireworks were the only thing I was able to hear. They were going to be the last thing I would see.
But I would rather stare at Avery's face the entire time, than bright colored explosions in the sky. Well, at least I knew that I would be looking at the same thing he was. The same sky. The same colors.
The same stars.
Avery. Please don't try and find me. I won't be there.
Avery. I miss you. Even if we've never met before, I have lived with you a thousand lifetimes over.
Avery. I love you. Goodbye.
---
Derek shut his eyes, layed his head on a dead keyboard, and listened as his own heartbeat stopped in his ears. The last color he saw was green, flashing over his eyelids bright enough for him to see through them.
The King said nothing. Derek would not hear Him either way. Everything that was running through his head at that moment was too loud, even for Him to speak through it.
Avery would not have to feel Derek's body go cold.
Avery would stay warm, crying, sobbing, and alive. Guilt would make it feel like his heart had stopped anyway.
It would make it all be cold anyway.
But it would keep on beating anyway.
Avery couldn't stop crying, over a man he'd never met before. Derek had said it himself anyway.
The fireworks bathed Avery in so many more lights than it did for Derek.