Work Text:
Ryland Grace sighed, pushed up his glasses, and pulled a stack of messy papers from one of his desk’s drawers. He’d be spending the duration of his lunch break grading worksheets instead of chowing down on a Thermos filled to the brim with scrumptious ramen. He savoured the thought of slurping it down once he was done with the school day. This hungry string of events was due to him watching a news report on ArcLight’s current journey to Venus rather than finishing the grading for some recent worksheets done by his sixth period class. He grabbed one of his trusty red pens and began to mark the remaining papers.
It was a nice, sunny afternoon. Well, nice is what most people would call it. Grace always preferred it when there was a layer of fog hanging in the air. The slight chill gave him a strange sense of comfort. Anyways, the rays of sunshine penetrated the classroom’s windows and created mini rainbows on the walls. Grace’s students loved how the refracted light added another splash of color to his already exuberant classroom. It made him smile to see their faces brighten.
His classroom was almost completely silent. The whirring of some appliances could be heard, but other than that, Grace was in a temporary bubble of peace before his classroom became filled with the ruckus of middle schoolers again.
Then, there was a knock at his door. Through the class, Grace could see the outline of one of his students, Regina, shyly holding her galaxy-print backpack and waiting to be let in.
“It’s open!” Grace announced. “Come on in.”
He wasn’t one of those teachers who refused to talk to his students during his break. No, he was a cool teacher. His students looked up to him. Grace didn’t have many people in his life, so he promised himself to always be there for his students, even if he really needed to finish grading worksheets.
Regina slowly opened the door and slipped inside. She pushed a strand of messy brown hair out of her face, then said, “Um, sorry to bother you, Mr.Grace.” She walked to a desk in the second row and sat down.
Grace looked up from his stack of papers and gave her a kind smile. “Don’t worry about it, my classroom is always open.” Then, he noticed her saddened expression and lowered head. Of course, this was common for the average middle schooler, but he still wanted to check up on her in case of an emergency. It wouldn’t be the first time a student came to him after experiencing cruelty from their peers. “Everything all right?”
She unpacked her lunch from her backpack and placed the containers on the desk. “Um…yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just uh…” Regina stared at her food. “I just want to be away from my friends right now.”
“Okey dokey, I’ll just be grading the rest of these worksheets. Don’t leave any food on the desks, please.”
“Okay.”
Grace continued to mark up the papers. One of his students received a fourteen out of fifteen. So close! He hoped that at least a few of them would get all fifteen correct. They could do it.
The silence in the room was occasionally interrupted by the clicking of Grace’s pen or the snapping of Regina’s food containers. It didn’t last very long, though.
“Mr. Grace?”
“What’s up?”
“The sky.”
Grace cracked a smile. His dorky jokes were rubbing off on his students, it seemed. “Hah! Good one. But actually,” He sat up in his chair with furrowed eyebrows. “What’s up?”
His student nervously fidgeted with one of the hair ties around her wrist before answering. “Have you…are you..um, do you have a spouse?” She anxiously avoided eye contact with him.
The question took him by surprise. It wasn’t inappropriate to ask, but he definitely wasn’t expecting that. Grace retracted his pen’s nib before placing it behind his left ear.
He clicked his tongue before speaking. “No, I uh…I don’t.”
“Did you ever date anybody? Like, in school?”
“Yeah, I did.” His mind flashed to his past attempts at romance. His embarrassing, confusing attempts. “But, life can throw a lot at you, so nothing really worked out.” He was intentionally vague. Grace didn’t mind offering advice to his students, of course, but getting too personal or in-depth was a big no-no.
Regina took a bite out of a piece of watermelon. “So…” She started, then finished chewing. “What does that…feel like?”
Uh oh. Grace could name every element on the periodic table, but describing romantic feelings? That was outside of his field of knowledge. He mustered up a somewhat decent answer to give to Regina.
“It’s that lovey-dovey feeling, you know? You want to hold hands, be close, that sort of thing.” Grace made some animated gestures with his hands as he spoke. Truthfully, he had no clue what he was talking about, and frankly, he was starting to worry if he was even describing romantic attraction or not.
“I guess I just don’t really get it.”
“How so?”
“Well, Allison is dating Derek now, and they’re like, all over each other, all the time.” She lamented as she poked her plastic fork at a piece of cold chicken. “And so many of the other girls talk about their crushes, and I just like…I don’t know.”
Grace nodded with understanding. He remembered feeling that way during his school years. That you had a weird, uncomfortable sense that everybody knew what was going on besides you. That you were outside of what was required. That you felt alone.
“Hey, don’t worry about it, okay? You’re what, thirteen? You’ve got plenty of time. Plus, boys–” He paused. “O-or girls, or anyone else, can be a distraction from school.” Grace stammered, then ran his left hand through his hair. He was centimeters away from knocking the pen out from behind his ear.
Regina let out a loud sigh, clearly dissatisfied with his answer. “I guess.”
“Who needs a partner when you’ve got stellar grades, am I right?” He flashed a goofy smile that made Regina laugh.
“Yeah, I’ll be sure to keep that up, Mr. Grace.”
“I love hearing that, Regina. I already graded your work, and I’ve gotta say, verrrryyyy impressive!” He emphasized.
Regina shyly went back to eating her food. There was another lull of silence. Grace grabbed his pen once more and retrieved the next paper in his pile.
As he drew a line with the blood-red ink, he had the sudden urge to gaze upwards. His eyes met his prized solar system model. There was a line of red tape from the Sun to Venus. Ah, the Petrova line. The streak of infrared light that the ArcLight was on its expedition towards. Grace stared above the frame of his glasses, his sky-blue eyes captivated by the simple demonstration he had done a few hours ago and had forgotten to remove. While there was still very little information about it, its mysterious nature was concerning. Some people were convinced it was an omen that the end was coming, while others chalked it up to a random space anomaly. Whatever it was, Grace didn’t feel too keen about potentially making his young students worry so much. That was his job.
Grace’s curiosity and passion for science kept him as updated as humanly (and legally) possible on the Petrova line. It honestly made him a little existential. Here they were, on the fifth-largest planet in the solar system, trying to solve a space mystery. And here he was, in the third largest classroom in the school, trying to help a middle schooler understand romance.
Well, maybe it was important to stay in touch with the little things. To love the smaller aspects of life. How rainbows danced across the classroom. How excited he felt to eat a yummy (late) lunch. How a student had come to him for help.
Grace’s lips formed a slight smile. He lowered his head, pulling himself away from the planets above him.
“You know, Regina,” He placed his pen on the stack of papers and casually crossed his arms. “Even if you don’t exactly ‘get it’ the way your friends do, you can still show love in other ways and forms. For example, Teacher Appreciation Day is coming up. I’m sure your teachers would love and appreciate receiving ohh I dunno…a giftcard? Or a mug?”
Regina exhaled through her nose as she continued to eat her lunch.
“You can tell your parents you love them. Siblings, if you have them. Friends. Just to name a few.” He noticed a shift in her body language as he spoke. Her shoulders relaxed, her eyebrows lifted. Good, he was doing good. Grace gave himself a mental pat on the back. “And y’know, maybe one day you’ll find someone for you, maybe not. There’s no rush.”
“Like a soulmate?” Regina chimed in.
“Uh…” He faltered. Did he even believe in soulmates? He didn’t have time to mentally debate the logic of being cosmically intertwined with someone else, so he settled for the simplest answer. “Yeah, like soulmates, if you want to look at it that way.”
“Hm. Okay. That makes sense. Thanks, Mr. Grace.”
“Anytime.” He offered her a supportive thumbs-up. Then, he checked his watch. Lunch ended in about four minutes: just enough time to finish grading the last few worksheets. “Alrighty, lunch break is ending soon, so you’ve gotta skedaddle! Feel free to come back any time, okay?”
Regina began to pack up the remainder of her lunch and store it in her backpack. “Yeah, I will. Thanks again, Mr. Grace. I’ll see you on Monday.” She forced a bit of hair away from her eyes with her hand.
“One last thing,” He stood up. Then, he grabbed one of the bean bags from the bowl on his desk. It was a miniature Earth. “What’s the chemical formula of water?” He quizzed, tossing the object to Regina, who caught it clumsily.
“Uhh…it’s...H2O!”
“Correct!”
She threw the bean bag back to Grace.
“Alright, now you can go. I’ll see you next week, Regina. Keep up with the great work!”
“Thanks again. Bye!” She waved as she left the classroom, an effervescent grin gracing her face.
He’d done good, real good. For someone so unprepared for the topic presented to him, he had managed to offer some helpful advice in the end. He sat up a little straighter with pride. Then, Grace remembered that he was on a time crunch and quickly began to mark the papers again.
The rest of the day played out as per usual. Grace taught the last of his classes, finally enjoyed his delicious ramen, attended a staff meeting, then plugged in his crusty earbuds before beginning his bike ride home. As he passed by coffee shops and stores, his mind drifted to the conversation he had with Regina.
Grace had felt a pang of recognition when she described what ailed her. The feeling of watching your peers become so intertwined with another person while you observed with confusion was eerily familiar. He had experienced it while growing up in school, too. And during college. And after he graduated. And even now, biking to an empty apartment. He had dated before, but none of it ever felt like what movies and songs told him all his life. Had he even been in love before…?
To Grace, it felt like a transaction. Something that society said you needed to have, so he tried to have it. But did he need it? Did he even want it? He wasn’t sure. Well, the company would be nice. He got lonely often. But letting someone in would mean showing all of his idiosyncrasies. His goofy jokes, his undying passion for molecular biology, his arrogant refusal to back down from what he believed in. Who would understand it all?
Grace stopped at a stop sign. He glanced to his right. There, outside the neon glow of the bar, a couple were tightly holding hands. Then, they leaned in for a passionate kiss. Grace averted his eyes and directed his attention to the road in front of him. He kept pedalling.
His heart rate picked up. His breathing did, too. Like he was biking away from a predator.
He remembered his brother. A flirt. Hooking up at parties and falling head over heels. Grace never understood why Colt acted that way.
He remembered his coworkers. The dates they would set up without telling him. Some even asked him out themselves. Everything felt so forced, so unnatural.
He remembered his few friends in college. How they pushed him to ask out a girl whom Grace barely knew. She wore t-shirts with science puns that made him laugh, and sure, he wanted to be friends, but that was it.
His ruddy hands gripped the handles of his bike. Sweat emerged from his skin, pouring between the black rubber. Grace’s breathing increased at a rapid rate. His eyes darted around with anxiety. Oh, God, what was wrong with him?
His legs ached from the pedalling. At the next stop sign, he forced his body to calm down. Breathe in, breathe out. Everything was going to be all right. Right?
Grace was only in his early thirties; surely the stars would align and send him a soulmate sometime. He’d find someone to love someday.
Shit. He exhaled loudly as he continued biking. Yeah, he did believe in soulmates.
The thought comforted him slightly and decreased his heart rate. Everything was fine. Everything was going to be fine. He was going to be fine. Grace resumed his journey home.
Grace opened the door to his shabby apartment. He threw his valise on the carpeted floor and crashed onto his sofa. He positioned his glasses below his chin, then rubbed his eyes with his fingers while groaning. He didn’t want to think about this any longer. Grace sat up, reached for his remote, and turned on his TV for the latest ArcLight news, effectively shifting his mind to be consumed by science once more. He’d have to figure out what his deal was with that lovey-dovey feeling another day.