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The pain engraved in Hannibal Lecter's soul soon began to fade: in the sunbeams that lit the room every morning, in the soft roar of the waves, in the warm intimacy beneath the bed sheets that Will and he now shared. The desolation of an empty life, meaningless after the loss of the only person he had loved, faded into the smiles that Will gave him in every awakening of that sweet eternity.
Their mornings now revolved around the dogs' affection, who always tried to jump on the bed but failed, so every time they would try to wake them up with mild whimpers and a few barks. On his side of the bed, Hannibal always found that mottled puppy, with bright brown eyes and endless energy.
"Good morning, good morning... " Hannibal muttered still drowsy, guiding one of his hands towards the animal, caressing his soft fur. The dog, as every morning, barked happily and started to make small jumps, in his quotidian way to show his affection to his owner.
Hannibal laughed slightly before turning in the bed to find Will. He hoped he would be able to enjoy the beautiful sight that had accompanied him for several weeks now: Will, still asleep, with the sun going through his wild curls and always holding the Lithuanian t-shirt, in an eternal reminder of how much he needed him. How much he had longed his presence , there by his side.
To Hannibal's surprise, the other side of the bed completely empty. The Lithuanian ran his hand over the wrinkled bed sheets, discovering the soft warmth still emanating from them. He suddenly felt the need to bury his face on the pillow, in a way he could perceive the aroma that flooded all his senses. Will. Everything around him screamed that name, his own skin marked by the need, the overwhelming sense of happiness that only Will could provide.
“Did they wake you up?”, there it was, the voice of the man for whom Hannibal had given up his own life. The man for whom Hannibal had decided to die, so he could spend the rest of eternity by his side. Will , he managed to say. Graham had entered the room with two steamy cups of coffee. His hair was still messy, in that semi-vulnerable state that the waking up gave to his beautiful face.
“Your absence did, in fact. Nobody was holding my t-shirt…”, between them, the sweet intimacy had found a place of honor. No more lies, no more pain. Will laughed at Hannibal’s words, and he sat on the edge of the bed, offering him a cup coffee. Hannibal was still unable to find a sound most beautiful than Will’s laugh. Above everything, a sound that would generate such an amount of emotions on him. “Good morning”, Will added, running his other hand through Hannibal’s hair. The Lithuanian purred softly, and kiss the scar on Will’s cheek.
“Do you think you could prepare something special for lunch?” Will asked, still soaping up the older’s hair. Hannibal hummed, half opening his eyes to search for the other’s eyes, in which he would gladly lose himself for days. Will’s little smile was enough to make Hannibal nod, “We could eat on the porch…”, continued the dark haired man.
“Is there anything in particular you would like?”, was all Hannibal asked, holding Will by the waist, to bring him closer. Will grabbed the shower head so he could water down the soap on Lecter’s blond-ish hair. When Hannibal closed his eyes, Will took advantage of the moment wetting his face too. Hannibal burst out a sudden laugh, and it didn’t take long until Will joined him. The laugh soon faded into a tender kiss, “Whatever you do is more than enough”, the younger added against Hannibal’s lips.
The morning then, turned into a hustle of recipes and ingredients, of small scoldings to the dogs when they tried to rob a piece of meat from the kitchen island. Will, already clothed after the shower and still drying his dark hair, found that idyllic image once he entered the room. Too perfect, to assimilate how real it was.
After ten years waiting, ten long years, Hannibal was finally by his side. This time, forever.
Forever , every time he pronounced the word in his long walks with the dogs, Will ended up with that wide smile on his lips, the soft blush over his cheeks. Ten years confined in that paradise seemed like a hell. Without Hannibal, without being able to enjoy the promise they made somehow, so many years ago.
Will still dreamed of the cliff. With the defeat of the Dragon, the protective feeling he didn’t predict but took over his body once Dolarhyde attacked Hannibal, bringing out the monster he had been carrying inside for so long. Hannibal’s beating heart still resounded on his mind, when he placed his head on Lecter’s chest.
He still dreamed of the cliff, of the moment when they became two shooting stars, destined to find their end together on the vast ocean, son of Poseidon. But the God of the Seas hadn’t been benevolent with him. He could still remember, he could still feel the pain, the desperation of waking up in a hospital unable to move. Unable to even know if Hannibal was alive.
Will had hidden that pair of rings on his bedside table for years, hoping that someday Hannibal would enter the program. Someday , he whispered in the silence of a room that he had desired to share for so many nights. Someday , soon turned into a desperate prayer, while Will lived with the memories of a night where nothing mattered but Hannibal, only Hannibal.
But the day didn’t seem to come. Everything was meaningless, a hopeless attempt to enjoy what life had denied them. Will had had time to think, to understand, to yearn for so many things in all that time; every night alone in his bedroom, staring at the ceiling until he was exhausted. Until his worst thoughts overwhelmed him and he would force himself to sleep.
In his solitude, embracing a feeling that took too long to understand, Will wanted to give up. Over and over again. Maybe, he should let the sea finish what it had started… and disappear.
I will be waiting for you, Hannibal had said when Will announced that he would take the dogs for a walk on the beach, so they would stop disturbing the Lithuanian while he was cooking. I will be waiting for you, he had always waited for Will. At the BSHCI, for three years, while Will tried to move on. Hannibal gave up his freedom, his own life. San Junipero was Will's opportunity to show that Hannibal’s love was requited, that the promise of waiting for him was reciprocal.
That pair of rings was nothing more than the consolidation of a promise, of a life they could now finally share.
“...wow”, was all Graham managed to say, before laughing at the view of the feast Hannibal had prepared on the porch. “When I said special, I don’t know if I meant this”, a table so perfectly prepared, the various dishes served with the same care that Will had always remembered.
“You said something special ”, Hannibal replied, opening the door of the house so the dogs could enter to drink some water. Soon, a smug smile curved Lecter’s lips, with that inherent arrogance that Will had learned to enjoy.
“And you never take anything lightly, right?” Will didn’t need a confirmation from Hannibal’s, he knew him pretty well. They both laughed, and Will wrapped Hannibal’s waist when he kissed his cheek, “I will be right back.”
Hannibal had found on a side of the house his favorite spot to spend the afternoons: between two robust trees, Will had settled a spacious hammock made of a delicate cloudy white fabric. Lecter could imagine Will there, in his solitude, with a glass of whiskey in his hand while the dogs played on the beach, or maybe lying nearby the hammock.
Now he was the one occupying that intimate little spot, reading one of his many books. In that occasion, he wasn’t alone. Will was lying by his side trying to sleep after a copious lunch, shirtless, letting the sun ― and Hannibal ― caress his cinnamon-colored skin.
The young man emitted a soft purr when Hannibal let a hand fall over his arm, softly caressing him. Will cuddled up next to Hannibal, letting his head rest on Hannibal’s shoulder. Hannibal held him even closer, and buried his nose in Will’s hair to feel his soft scent, “Maybe we could go to the city tonight”, he started, closing his book. Will answered with a shy and small purr, still not coming out of the shelter that Hannibal’s neck was providing him. “We have barely left the house since I passed over …”, Hannibal said, kissing those dark rebel curls he loved.
Will couldn’t help it, and he burst into laughter, raising his face slightly to look Hannibal in the eyes, “Are you implying that we spend the day in bed, Doctor Lecter ?” Of course they did. After so long, after so many years, necessity was an enemy they have to defeat as soon as possible.
It didn’t take long for them to cross the last barrier that prevented them from becoming one, now in body and soul. Soon they discovered the feeling of finding in the other’s arm the only shelter where they would protect themselves from the storm.
Nevertheless, most of the time they spent in bed, it wasn’t dedicated to having sex. Sometimes, the morning time was entirely dedicated slow kisses and caresses, to words that they have waited so long to pronounce. It was about being them, once again. It was about being together, listening, rediscovering, living again.
They finally laughed, accomplices in a necessity that has caused them so much pain during the last ten years. “I will show you the city tonight”, Graham finally continued, placing his lips over Hannibal’s in a short kiss. Hannibal hummed satisfied.
Life in the city lacked the calm, the intimacy that the house on the beach had provided them for the last few weeks. Full of young people: many of them newcomers, and about as many visitors... Will and Hannibal were the exception to any rule.
Will felt even more alone in the middle of that crowd, so willing to enjoy the many pleasures offered in San Junipero. Other people’s happiness had increased his feeling of despair quite often… what was he doing there, waiting for an impossible? His life was anchored to a prayer, while everything around him seemed to keep moving. He was jealous, oh so jealous of the happiness surrounding him.
Those smiles on the others' faces, those laughs. He envied those reunions that happened every week, between couples yet unable to be together all the time. The hugs, the warm welcomings… the kisses. How many times he wished he had kissed Hannibal on the top of the cliff, before letting the sea decided their fate.
He was envious of those couples walking side by side, sharing sweet words and caresses, trying shyly to hold the other’s hand. How would Hannibal’s hand feel against his? Warm, firm, welcoming.
For a long time, the diverse bars in the city had been a refuge for him, running away from the solitude that accompanied him wherever he went.
Sometimes, he liked to imagine that, someday , he and Hannibal would be like those young couples who came to those places to have a drink and maybe, even dance. Would Hannibal dance? Not with the music they often played, Will was sure about that. And he laughed at the thought, with his lips still caressing the cold glass that kept him company.
The idea struck him again during dinner, in that sophisticated restaurant that Hannibal himself had selected, and to which he had subsequently given his approval (much to Will's surprise). The brunette let his imagination run free, while Lecter drunk his glass of wine with the same elegance as ever. “Are you feeling alright, Will?”, the Lithuanian asked, after long minutes of Graham’s silence. The dark haired man raised his eyes, to look Hannibal directly in the eyes, “Would you like to go dancing?” but Lecter remained speechless, with a skeptical expression on his face. Will laughed, tugging at his hand, “you aren’t afraid of dancing, right?”
Fear , an emotion Hannibal had never felt, that he had never understood completely before meeting Will Graham. Fear of losing him. Even the fear of a life where his existence wasn't tied to Will made him surrender to the FBI... but now, was there something that Hannibal could be afraid of? On that paradise where Will had accepted himself, willing to give himself to their love for the rest of the eternity... was else could Hannibal fear?
“I would love to, Will.”
Will found a slight blush on Hannibal's cheeks, almost youthful and innocent. He smiled shyly and waited for the Lithuanian to stand up to walk beside him. When they finally left the restaurant, Will breathed deeply before holding Hannibal’s hand. Neither of them said anything, but Will could swear that Hannibal was smiling.
He didn’t want to take him to Tuckers, probably the most known local in the city. Will had something else in mind, something more calm, more intimate. A small place, where they played something different from modern and loud music, something he was sure Hannibal wouldn’t appreciate.
There were never too many people, and most importantly, Will had fantasized about that idea for the first time there. “Have you ever been here before?”, Hannibal asked, seeing Will’s familiarity with the place. “I have been alone for too long”, it was an automatic answer, sincere and raw, and Will smiled sadly. Hannibal wanted to ask, wanted to know. How had been his life there? Alone, for ten years.
But life had been so sweet that they were reunited, that Hannibal didn’t dare to ask. Soon, it would be just a bad memory.
“Hannibal!”, Will suddenly shouted from the dance floor, leaving Hannibal nearby at the bar top. The older man shook his head, laughing. “Please?” Will plead, with a joyful smile. Before Hannibal could say anything, the ex-profiler started to dance, alone in the middle of the dance floor. Not exactly dancing, but following the rhythm of the music with his whole body.
"Come on, Hannibal...", Will was sure he was already blushing when Hannibal moved closer. But he stopped breathing for a moment when he felt the other’s hand on his waist. Hannibal smiled, offering his hand so Will could take it. “I don’t know how to…”, he tried to say, “Follow my lead”, Hannibal added.
So he took Hannibal’s hand. Warm, firm, welcoming. Both of them laughed at Will first attempts to imitate Hannibal, but in the end, it didn’t matter. They were so close, barely dancing anymore; just enjoying the feeling of the other's presence, the smell, the touch...
"I love you", it was a mere whisper, a confession lost in the closeness of their bodies. The soft scent of Hannibal's hair intoxicating him, reviving a necessity that had no limits. It took a couple of minutes until Will realized that Hannibal had stopped moving, as well as himself. Motionless, in the middle of the dancing floor, while the world was still spinning around them. Not for Hannibal, whose entire world was Will. Not for Will, whose existence would have ceased if he hadn't kept hoping for that moment to happen, sooner or later. I will be waiting for you.
Will clutched Hannibal’s shirt firmly, and he immediately felt how the Lithuanian was holding him against his body, needy. In that hug, Will could feel Hannibal’s heart beating out of control on his own chest. He let escape a nervous laugh, and his breath was now agitated. Will, a desperate call, a plea.
Graham abandoned the crook of Hannibal's neck slowly, where he was hiding his face, and he raised his eyes. The same gaze, ten years after. The same devotion with which Hannibal always looked at him, the same intense love that none of them could control anymore.
Hannibal’s hand released him little by little, afraid that Will would run away if he didn’t hold him. But Will stayed still, determined. No more fights, no more lies. With the gentleness that only Will knew, Hannibal placed one of his hands on the other’s cheek. Say it again, Hannibal wanted to say. but his voice seemed to be sunk on the bottom of the sea. “I love you”, Hannibal could feel under his hand, how Will’s face changed into a smile, the most beautiful smile Hannibal had ever seen.
It was Will who finally gave Hannibal a small, timid kiss. Soon he felt the salty taste of the tears, and he prolonged the kiss in the sweet slowness that eternity had granted them. He dared to laugh, at the moment that he separated himself from Hannibal's lips and found those tears falling down his cheeks. He leaned his forehead against Hannibal's, looking at the older's golden eyes. "I had waited so long to tell you this..." to tell him all the pain he felt, night after night waiting for the alarm to ring. Will released Hannibal’s clothes, and looked for the pair of rings in his pocket.
"This..." he started, taking Hannibal's hand. His intense blue eyes never abandoned Lecter's, while Will put the ring, "All I ever wanted" a small pause, a laugh between almost-tears, "for both of us." This, you and me as one, us against life and death, Will whispered. He had had ten long years to discover it, to understand those words on the top of the cliff.
"I wondered if you...", if you understood. Hannibal's words died in his throat. On Will's hand, another ring was still waiting. Graham guided Hannibal with his eyes, an invitation for him to take it. Hannibal took it, and Will extended his hand with that confident smile, and the tears now falling from his eyes. A laugh and a kiss, their hearts beating at the same time, "It's beautiful".