Work Text:
Wade ran a hand through Peter's hair. "We could always-"
"We're not running away to Canada, Wade." Peter said flatly, staring at a blank tv screen.
"But Justin Tru-"
"No Wade." Peter sighed and leant backwards, resting his head on Wade's chest. "Grin and bear it."
Wade looked down at him skeptically. "You're just worried I'll leave you for that hottie of a Canadian prime minister. I wouldn't mind him keeping me warm through those long winters..."
Peter closed his eyes and folded his arms. "Winters are the same length in the eyes of the law, and global warming will put a stop to those long winters soon enough anyway."
Wade dropped a kiss on Peter's forehead. "It'll be okay baby. Plus I do still have my Canadian citizenship. Unless you can legally bet those in poker games, in which case the Black Widow is one smoking hot-
Peter opened his eyes again and gave Wade a reluctant half smile. "Sorry."
Wade waved the apology away. "Have I told you how incredibly attractive I find Black Bolt?" he asked.
Peter rolled his eyes. "Are you trying to get me riled up into a jealous sex mood?"
"That depends. Is it working?"
Peter groaned and sat up again.
"Well at least we got married before the real craziness began," Wade said, admiring his ring.
Peter couldn't help a genuine smile peek through as he watched Wade grin at the ring Peter had picked out for him. "Every day with you is an exercise in crazy," Peter retorted.
Wade gave him a shocked look and fluttered his hand around his face dramatically. "My stars," he twanged out in a southern lady imitation. "How dare you speak to someone of my standing like that."
"Your standing," Peter repeated dubiously.
Wade made a hmmphing noise. "I'll have you know I'm a well respected-"
"Lies."
"Member of the community," Wade continued as if uninterrupted. "The leader of the Avengers-"
"Poster boy at best."
"And a beloved superhero."
"Beloved is wayyy too strong a word," Peter chimed.
"And," Wade leant over to press a kiss against Peter's neck before whispering conspiratorially in his ear, "I'll have you know I am married to one very sexy superhero scientist."
Peter grinned at him against his own will. "But not as sexy as the prime minister of Canada."
Wade waved his hand dismissively. "They don't compare."
Peter gave him a half-hearted look of disapproval.
"And Medusa," Wade continued, from a conversation they weren't even having. "Did you see her in Attilan Rising? The author was way more in love with Blackagar up until that final panel in Issue #5, you know, rebel-Medusa, oh whoops spoilers!"
[Wow breaking the fourth wall, haven't done that in a while.]
This is the author's first time writing a proper fic in ages, I say we give him a break, did you read the author's note, he can barely even ramble any good right now, you expect him to write something decent? He doesn't even like spideypool anymore. Wayyy too in love with Cablepool, if he even bothers to think of us at all. He's too torn about Blackagar Boltagon at the moment to spare us a decent thought.
[Yeah wow this story is falling apart. is 'ramble any good' even aesthetically pleasing?]
Is that what we're basing the success of our fics on now? How well they're worded?
[What would you base it on?]
I don't know, if people like them?
[This fic seems a little bit too personal and disjointed to really work on that level, it's more of a draft work really. Pushing the author back into style. Like am I the author himself or the yellow box? Who knows??]
Peter blinked at his husband arguing with himself over something and stood up, stretching. "Want dinner?"
"Is it plot worthy? We're beginning to think we don't have a plot - as per usual - but normally something's jumped out at us by now as a point. The author is beginning to worry that this is pointless and will end up like that one fic he did for that spideypool thing last year, that one he almost missed completely, just before he missed the SpideyTorch and MarvelRedTeam weeks completely? It was a shame too, he was looking forward to both of them and wow yeah there is no plot to this, I'm sure most people have left the page."
Peter gave him a tried and true Parker(TM) look of dry suffering. He stepped closer to Wade and placed a hand on each of his cheeks. "Wade." He said firmly. "I have a plot idea."
Wade perked up. "That's great Peter! Finally pulling your weight around here!"
Peter ignored the jab. "How about you and I have a very nice dinner of leftovers and then we sit down and watch some gay romantic comedies?"
"But I'm a Cheerleader?" Wade asked hopefully.
"First on the list," Peter agreed.
Wade's hands fell to Peter's waist and he pressed his forehead to Peter's. "Have I mentioned I'm absolutely, completely, in love with you?"
Peter smiled up at him. "You could stand to mention it more."
Wade pulled Peter closed and kissed him passionately. "I really truly love you."