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Six can do anything. He can get shot at and stabbed and fight tooth and nail for his survival. He can push through his misery, wake up everyday as Sierra Six. He can come to terms with the fact that saving his brother as a teenager meant he had to spend the rest of his life killing others. He can do so much.
He can't be a dad, or whatever the hell Fitzroy thought he could be for Claire. He's a machine, he's got rough hands and he can't remember how to hold things softly.
Claire gets left with Six, but what she really needs is Courtland and he doesn't know how to give her that. He can't seem to remember how to be gentle like he used to, he can only follow the script of his childhood on repeat for so many times before Claire starts getting weirded out that he seems to loop through the same five acts of comfort he used to perform for his brothers.
They're already on the run, and Six is having a hard time coping with it all. He could do this on his own, he could run forever and never settle down anywhere but when Claire smiles up at him with complete trust, he knows he can't do that to her. So he makes a decision, granted it's not a very good one— probably the worst one he's made since he had dinner with the twins several years back.
All his most stupid ideas revolve around them, he guesses. "Where are we?" Claire asks as Six knocks on the door.
"We're–" home, a traitorous voice whispers in the back of his mind— as if he could afford to call a place (a person, he had abandoned years ago) home. "Going to see if we can stay here for a bit." He knocks again, checking the time on his watch. It's half past seven, way too late for a middle school teacher to be at work.
"Is this another one of your allies that are just going to shoot at us?"
He sighs. "I hope not." He can't hear anything from beyond the door but there was a bike locked up just in front of the apartment building, so Six knows he's home. He knocks again, louder.
There's muffled shouting from inside the apartment. "If you could just wait a momen–" Ryland says as he opens the door, cutting himself off when his eyes meet Court's. "You said that you'd never…" he spots Claire and it stops him in his tracks. "What? What's going on, am I an uncle? I can't be an uncle, I'm too young."
"Let us in," Court requests, ignoring how ridiculous his brother is being. Ryland, decidedly, does not move out of the door frame to let them in so Court ends up pushing him to the side so he can get Claire out of the open.
"Sure, okay," Ryland says, closing the door behind them. "Why do you have a child?" Claire ducks behind Six, uncomfortable at the attention.
"You're not too young to be an uncle," he says, mostly just to get Ryland's attention again. It works and he can feel Claire relax slightly behind him.
He didn't consider the incredulous reaction he'd get from his brother, who looks like he's going to faint at any moment. "Are you joshing with me right now? You have to be, that isn't possible." He can practically see Ryland trying to map out a timeline in his mind.
"Six isn't my dad," Claire interjects over Court's shoulder.
"Who on Earth is Six?" Ryland asks and Court winces. He had kept things mostly under wraps the last time he had seen the twins, and he can see his brother's eyes light up with… something, maybe jealousy that Claire got to know who he had become before he did— maybe something more akin to hurt.
Claire sends him a look of disbelief. "This is nothing like our previous safe houses." And Six mentally agrees as he looks around and sees that there's working lights and the AC is running and he'd wager a bet that there was running water. It was heaven compared to the houses they had stayed at so far.
"This is my brother," he says, cut and dry– like ripping a band aid off. Claire may know who he is now, but she knew very little of who he was before he met her.
"You have a brother?" She asks, eyes darting back to Ryland who looks thoroughly unimpressed and slightly out of his depth. He looks steadier than the last time Court saw him, and his apartment is mostly clean. There's not papers scattered across the floor and while there are little knickknacks on every surface, it's not in disarray.
Maybe teaching was working out for him, Court had to stop watching the twins as closely around the time Ryland finished his PhD and he can spot obvious differences. He doesn't look like he's on the verge of a breakdown or like he's going to pass out from exhaustion at any moment. For the first time in a while, Court feels like he can breath. He's not sure if things will ever be truly okay again, or if they even were to begin with, but Ryland's here and Claire is safe. He could sink into the ground with the sheer relief he feels in this moment.
It doesn't last very long, Six never gets to have nice things for long.
"He has two brothers," Ryland says and he doesn't sound it but Court can tell that he's pissed. It's a little strange, Ryland had outbursts of anger when they were growing up but it was a slow secondary anger that followed after his sadness. As opposed to Colt, who had always been quick to anger— though he rarely acted on it.
"Can Claire use your shower?" He asks, mostly to get her out of the room for whatever Ryland has in store him. "We've been on the go for a while."
"Sure," Ryland replies, not taking his eyes off of Court. "Down the hall, first door on the left." Six smiles at her slightly before cutting his eyes to the hallway, a clear offer of escape from the impending scolding. She takes the offer with open arms, practically skipping away from the tension building in the room.
"Where is Colt?" Court asks, looking around the apartment as if that would magically make their brother spawn in, it had worked last time. He would love a buffer, as much as he doesn't deserve one.
Ryland scoffed. "Oh, don't act like you don't know where Colt is." He deepens his voice in a poor attempt at mockery before saying, "bluh I'm Courtland and I faked my death so that I could stalk my brothers from afar but never talk to them because I'm a scaredy cat."
"I am not a scaredy cat," Court defends childishly before taking a breath. "You know I just want what's best for you, Ry."
"Sure, that's why you show up at my door step years after promising to disappear from my life forever." Ryland picks something up off the mantle, its brightly colored and squishy and he drags it between his fingers to keep his hands busy.
Six watches him fidget, mostly so he doesn't have to look him in the eyes. He's a coward in that way, he doesn't want to face this. It's foolish and beyond selfish but he wants to bask in his brother's company, wants to sit on the couch and hear him talk about how good teaching has been to him. "I needed to make sure Claire was safe."
"What about me!" Ryland all but yells. "What about Colt? And me? What about your brothers, Court? Do we matter to you at all because you can say that you can take care of us from a distance but you can't! Does that even matter to you, or are you too busy playing house with some random kid you picked up who knows where?"
"That's not fair, Ryland. You can be mad at me but don't bring Claire into it."
Ryland laughs sharply, entirely lacking any humor and something in Six snaps to attention. This was a mistake, being here— god bringing Claire here. He hadn't thought about it, not really. He had mostly just thought about how much he wanted to see someone familiar, someone warm. "You're proving my point! She's more important, right? You're not being fair."
"She's a kid, Ry. You're a fully grown adult," he practically winces as he says the words but he can't help them from coming out.
"It doesn't feel like it!" Ryland says, breaking a bit. "I messed up my entire career, I lost everything. I'm failing miserably at being a real person and I really needed my brother, I needed you." Maybe Ryland wasn't doing as well as he thought he was. Court needed his brothers to be okay so badly that he hadn't really considered them not being okay, for the past few years all that had mattered was that they were physically doing well. This feels like a big oversight.
"You had Colt." It was all he could think, sure he had lost focus on their whole well being, but the twins were supposed to take care of each other enough to make up for Court's absence. They had to be enough for each other.
"Yeah," Ryland says and Court can see the steam leaving his body, he sees the way his shoulders drop and the way the anger in his face melts to sadness. "Whatever, Court. Just– what can I help you with? That's what you want, right? I'll help you and then you'll tell me that you'll never see me again and leave only to come crashing back in half a decade later."
"Ryland," he starts but he can't imagine any apologies or excuses worthy enough, so he says nothing for a while. And then, "I'm sorry, there was just nowhere else." It's awful of him, he just doesn't know how to make it better. He doesn't think he can at this point.
"That's just it, isn't it?" Ryland says, scoffing. Court stays silent, it's not like he expected a warm welcome, but he wasn't expecting this anger. Not from Ryland, who had always been quicker to tears than raising his voice. Something has changed, something small maybe, but his brother is different in a way he can't put his finger on and it kills him. "So, what? You're going to stay for dinner, I presume?"
"Are you okay, Ry?" He asks and it's beyond absurd given their situation, obviously he's not okay but Court wants to crack the issue open. He wants to fix it, he wants to hug his brother tight enough to put him back together. He can't though, he knows he can't because Ryland looks at him like he's stupid for trying to ask. "We can be out of here by tomorrow morning, if you need."
"Now you care about what I need?" Ryland asks, disbelief heavy in his voice.
"My capabilities don't always align with what I care about. They practically never do." Court takes a step closer, hands hovering like he's attempting to make contact with a wounded animal. "I need you to know that it kills me to not be able to be here for you."
Something in Ryland breaks, his eyebrows furrow and his mouth shakes as tears begin to pour from his eyes. "It's been so hard," he cries and for a second Court can see his brother at the age of five sitting on the hot summer pavement crying loudly as he held his scrapped knee as closely to his chest as possible. For a second, it's just Courtland taking care of his little brother again.
"It's okay," he says, rushing forward and pulling Ryland into a hug. Repeated I'm sorrys and I knows and It's okays falls past his lips as he holds Ryland. He wants to throw up, he's scared that he's going to look down and his hands are going to be coated in their father's blood again. It's too much, he thinks as he tightens his hold on Ryland in an attempt to ground himself in the moment. Too much and too familiar, only this time there's no one dragging him away from his brothers and tossing him into the back of a cop car.
"I missed you," Ryland says, voice wet, into Court's shoulder. He pulls back, wiping his eyes with his hands. His eyes are puffy and something in Court aches a bit. "You can stay, you know. For as long as you need, and then longer if you want."
He can't, he shouldn't even be here to begin with, but he smiles and nods. "Thank you," he says in a near whisper. They'll leave tomorrow, he decides. After Claire gets a good night of sleep, they'll be gone before it can hurt too much. "I missed you too."
Ryland's face breaks out into a smile and his tears get caught in his crows feet, its like a knife twisting in Court's gut. "I'll get started on dinner." Six waits for his brother to leave the living room before letting his smile fall. He drops himself onto the couch, putting his head in his hands. This was a mistake.