Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Heavy breathing and soft moans are all that can be heard in the empty classroom. Two figures up against the wall kissing and grinding against each other.
"F-fuck.. mm... wait. your boyfriend..." a voice would worriedly say.
"Shh its okay focus on me not him." another voice would reply back.
"A-ah..."
Lips on skin making galaxies and beautiful bruises on the other's neck, collarbones and chest. Soft, melodic whine pitched moans lingering the air. The aura of arousal and need, of hurried kisses and delicately placed hickeys.
"W-we're gonna be late..."
A hum of acknowledgement and hips moving faster against each other. Needing, wanting, to get off. Aching for skin on skin but having no time to do so. Hoping for intimacy but knowing they won't ever recieve any. Fleeting moments where they can pretend they're together. Words left unsaid with kisses meaning every word they'll never say. A kiss, leave him and come to me. Another kiss, I wish it was that simple. A sigh, it's alright. Another set of hickeys, the unspoken I love you's and you're gorgeous'. The bell rings with no acknowledgement, they'll be late. They share a long, meaningful kiss. I care deeply for you. I love you. I know. Of course. The shuffling to get their things and going to their respective classes. Walking in with tousled hair, swollen lips and lots of galaxies adorning their skin.
"Who were you with?" would ask a friend.
"No one you can talk to."

Its been weeks and he's still being asked who gave him all the bruises on his body, who made him so happy... but so broken. What could he say? Oh it was one of our friends, but its okay its not like it mattered anyways. It's not like he would ever amount to him. It wasn't in his place to ruin friendships and relationships. It wasnt right. It isnt right. Its not fair, he had nothing to do with it. Its not fair that he was there first, then all of a sudden sweet smiles and dark hair showed up. Its not fair that hes the one who has to suffer for something he had first. He was happy. He was content, but at what cost?

Staring at people around him, he takes slow breaths determined not to have a panic attack. It was bad enough that he was nearly on having one everytime he saw him, which was everyday. Everyone soon stopped asking him what was wrong, except Seokjin. Sweet, sweet Seokjin. Tall and broad, a mother figure in their group of friends. Always concerned for everyones well being. Always selfless and compassionate. It sickened Yoongi. He couldn't look at him in the face everytime he was asked if he was okay. He could barely speak with the lump in his throat, forcing down tears and faking a smile.

Its been a while since he's smiled a genuine smile. Its been a while since he felt real happiness, without the empty aftermath. Its been a while since hes been cornered by Jimin. Jimin who's happy with his boyfriend, Jungkook. The boy who took away his first love, the one who unintentionally tore out his heart and ate it in front of him. The boy who doesn't know what his boyfriend was up to. What his boyfriend did to his hyung.

Yoongi cleared his throat trying to get rid of the bitter taste in his mouth, but in doing so he gained the attention of his friends. Waving them off, he refocused his attention on the textbook he's supposed to be studying from. He can't focus at all, not with Jimin and Jungkook. Not with memories of weeks ago still fresh in his memory. Not when Jungkook is on Jimins lap. Not when Jimin has his mouth on Jungkook, when his mouth was on Yoongi weeks before. Yoongi closes his book with a lot of force and abruptly stands up.

"Yoongi?" Seokjin asks quietly.

"I'm," he clears his throat, trying to force his tears down, "I'm going somewhere else... I... I cant focus."

"Oh, do you want me to come with you?"

He shakes his head looking to the ceiling, he feels Jimin's eyes on him. He needs to get out now, or else he'll start crying right there, and he doesn't need that. He doesn't want questions bombarding him. He wants Jimin to stop staring at him. He doesnt notice when his breathing gets slightly quicker, doesn't notice that Seokjin has been talking to him. Not until Jimin's voice cuts through the air.

"Hyung are you okay?"

Just like that, Seokjin stops talking and everyone stares at Yoongi. Yoongi's breath gets caught in his throat not enjoying the sudden attention.

"Hyung?" Jimin asks again.

He musters enough strength to turn and walk away as fast as possible, tears starting to stream down his face. He reaches his dorm when he breaks down and starts crying harder, dropping his things on the floor. His mind is flashing images of when Jimin was just his, a secret they never told anyone. It was thrilling and exciting, it made him happy. Now it makes him sad and regretful. It makes him want to scream, so he does. He screams so loud that it reverberates through his dorm, and his voice cracks. Just like that, its like a dam of emotions broke and he starts screaming more. Tears start streaming down his face at a faster rate, he starts throwing things and tearing things apart. Never in his life had he ever felt as broken as he was now. Never has he delt with a breakup like this. It hurt. It hurt so damn much.

It takes three days for Seokjin to hunt Yoongi down in his dorm. Its been three days since Yoongi's breakdown, and he's had no motivation to go anywhere, to do anything, to eat or shower. He's only gotten up to go to the bathroom and to grab more blankets. He's been ignoring calls and texts from everyone, he watches as they call and as his phone rings, as the call goes to voicemail. He only has a vague thought that he needs to pick up, but his brain wont function. It wont listen. It never does.

He faintly registers his door opening from under his many, many blankets. He hears Seokjin gasps lightly and step over his mess. He hears Seokjin call out for him, and he hears himself make an uncommital noise of acknowledgement. He counts Seokjin's footsteps to his room and to his bed. He can feel Seokjin pull off his blankets, and suddenly he can see the daylight streaming through his windows. He squints at Seokjin and tries to say something, but the older holds up his hand. He watches Seokjin take in his state and sigh softly.

"Yoongi, what happened?"

Yoongi registers himself saying that he was fine, and Seokjin's disbelieving face as he waited for a real answer.

"I'm just overreacting." Yoongi croaks out.

That seems to break Seokjin out of his shock, "Overreacting? Yoongi, really? Over-fucking-reacting?! You've trashed your dorm, I haven't seen you in DAYS. Everyone's been asking for you, because everytime we call or text you, you never answer! Don't bullshit me and tell me the truth!"

Yoongi recoils from Seokjin, and a fresh wave of tears come to him, and he starts crying hard, right in front of Seokjin. Seokjin's facial expression goes from angry to concerned, as soon as he sees tears. He sits next to Yoongi and pulls him onto his lap. He rocks Yoongi softly and lets him cry it out. He stays with Yoongi until he stops crying. He stays when Yoongi tells him that everything is okay again. He stays with Yoongi, when he tells him to leave. He cleans up Yoongi's dorm and stays when it's all clean. He cooks Yoongi food and stays when he's eaten it all. He stays when Yoongi takes a shower. He changes Yoongi's bedsheets, and stays when Yoongi's back in bed. He turns to leave, but hears Yoongi whisper stay, and he does. He stays.

Chapter Text

A giggle ripples through the apartment and a squeak quickly follows it. Socked feet rapidly padding on wooden floor as bare feet are right behind.

“Nononono!!! Hyung! HYUNG NO I’M SORRY!” Yoongi shrieks as he runs away from Seokjin, who’s following him with a can of silly string.

“Come here you brat!! You deserve this for ruining my book!!” Seokjin says with no real bite.

Gasps and laughter escapes Yoongi’s lips as he nearly slips rounding the couch a little too close.

“Careful!”

“I wouldn’t need to be careful if you stopped chasing me!”

“I need revenge!”

Seokjin adjusts his grip on the can and places his index finger ready to fire. Yoongi glances back and his eyes widen noticing how close Seokjin really is.

A loose nail in the ground and a soft thud of a body falling, a gasp and another thud, a loud complain and the sound of a spray can spraying, then an indignant sound and more complaining, a laugh and a kiss, more giggles and happiness.

Years have passed and truly, Yoongi is happy, so so happy with Seokjin. During the summer, Seokjin had taken Yoongi out on friend-dates, then they became dates and now they’re dating. At least that’s what they tell everyone. To them, behind closed doors, in the safe haven they call their apartment, they’re best friends, where they don’t have to put labels on themselves and they’re truly themselves.

Gratefulness is the only way he can feel about his housemate, gratefulness and happiness. He smiles shyly and looks down just thinking about the other. They have a system and it works and it’s good and safe and he loves it. He came upon the term when researching more about their spectrums and he found QPP’s and he suggested it to Seokjin. The older confesses that he’s read about it too and how their friendship is very much like this and they still didn’t need to put labels on them.

Labels are safe for him, he enjoys how he can have something to fall back on and how labels will always be with him. Labels are much like having a routine for him. Labels are what got him to pick himself up with little help from his devastation. They didn't necessarily have to be for him, but for his friends on his phone, names for things he has, nicknames for everything. They helped so much and he loved them.

“Hey its movie night. Wanna go out for this one?” Seokjin asks the younger.

“Only if we go see Wonder Woman and if we get a smoothie afterwards.” Yoongi nods to himself as if approving his own terms.

Seokjin stares at him fondly for a few seconds and chuckled, “Sure baby, whatever you want.”

Lightly bouncing while he walks as he talks animatedly about the movie they just watched and jumping around topics while swinging their intertwined hands. The noise around them and all the different scents wafting around as they reach the food court is something he’s always enjoyed when coming to the mall.

He takes a long sip of his smoothie and instantly regrets it. Seokjin laughs at him and he pouts.

“Can we go to Forever 21?” Yoongi looks up at Seokjin still pouting.

Seokjin rolls his eyes and nods, “I’m not buying anything.”

Yoongi scoffs following the taller, “What a shitty sugardaddy.”

Sparkly tile, pop music, bright clothes, large store, preppy teens to dark floors, heavy punk rock, dark clothes, small store, wanna be grunge teens. A whole 360 in stores but he’s equally happy in both, as he browses band tees. Seokjin’s behind him looking at some belts. Yoongi gasps and drags Seokjin to the hat section.

“Look it's me!” Yoongi picks up a white hat with a small rainbow heart on the front with an equal sign on it.

“Are you really gonna do that for every rainbow thing you see?” Seokjin sounds amused.

Enthusiastic nods and some selfies later, they're leaving the store with no purchases and a familiar person in the checkout line, double takes and a huff. A questioning glance from Seokjin has Yoongi rolling his eyes.

“I just saw what’s-his-face’s boytoy.” Yoongi grumbles

“Jungkook?” Seokjin sounds surprised and then nonchalant, “wanna beat him up?”

His eyes light up and he nods turning around ready to confront the younger boy. A tug on his arm has him turning around again and walking the opposite way. He guesses it’s just not fate, or simply Seokjin was joking and didn’t want him to end up in jail. Starting up conversation, he practically forgets what almost happened and Seokjin’s listening to his ranting and nodding along occasionally.

Hot pretzels and a bag of candy later, they're back home and he’s insisted that they take post date selfies. Rejected at first but puppy eyes and a promise for kisses, reluctance then acceptance.

Soft music and soft kisses given every so often makes him think he can really live like this forever. Relaxing in pajama shorts and an oversized shirt on his bed with a fluffy white comforter and clean bed sheets and blankets. He sighs contently as he presses more kisses onto soft lips that are trying not to smile. Dodging another kiss he buries his face in the other’s neck and inhales cinnamon and smiles to himself. Arms wrap around his waist and a kiss is pressed to the top of his head. A fool, he thinks to himself, for he doesn’t know what's next to come. An unsuspecting victim!

Sniffs and sticks his tongue out hesitantly trying to asses how he’s going to go through with this mischievousness, he decides fuck it and goes for it. He licks a long quick stripe along the side of Seokjin’s neck then quickly rolls out of his grasp giggling. There’s an indignant yell and he’s being stared at in disbelief. He can’t stop giggling as he speaks.

“I’m sorry.. You can retaliate as compensation from the bottom of my gay heart.”

He squeaks as he's tugged forward and a head gently drops onto his shoulder and he can feel the hesitancy as if Seokjin’s not sure if he wants to retaliate. He wants to tell him he doesn't have to but then a tongue touches his neck and he gasps loudly. He gasps louder as teeth are incorporated and he grabs hold of Seokjin’s hoodie as the older starts lightly sucking on the spot. He’s holding in his whimpers and moans for Seokjin’s sake in case he feels uncomfortable with them but Seokjin pulls away from his neck and he can’t help but whine.

“Can… Can I hear you?”

He nods and swallows slowly, “yeah, yeah sure.”

And then Seokjin’s back to his spot on his neck and this time Yoongi lets out soft whimpers and little moans, unintentionally spurring the older to suck on different parts of his neck. His grip on the hoodie becomes tighter as he angles his hips away from Seokjin, who’s incorporating a lot of teeth and Yoongi feels like he can die. His breath is stuttering and he’s fighting with his resolve so hard right at this moment. Seokjin pulls away for the second time and he seems satisfied with himself as he smiles at Yoongi.

There’s a shuddering intake of breath as he jerks off in the shower while his partner is at work. His moans are louder and he’s more whiny, curses are slipping through his lips.

If Seokjin notices his flushed cheeks and more relaxed nature when he gets back from work, he doesn’t mention it.

Sometimes he doesn’t want to hold hands or kiss or cuddle and it’s more than okay. He’s told that it's more than okay and he’s so relieved that sometimes Seokjin feels the same and it’s also okay. Sometimes he feels sick whenever he sees romance and couples outside kissing, but he knows that it has nothing to do with him yet he can't help look away in disgust.

Sometimes they fight and it doesn’t hurt because they’re both petty people and stubborn. Sometimes they ignore each other for days until one of them cracks. Sometimes it's Yoongi, sometimes it’s Seokjin.

They know they love each other, even though it’s a different type of love than what everyone talks about having or wanting, but they’re more than satisfied with what they have.