Work Text:
Your name is JOHN EGBERT. You are 15 years old, and you still really like TERRIBLE MOVIES and your favorite actor is NICHOLAS CAGE. But this intro has been long enough already, because all you can think of is how worried you are about your best friend.
> John: Check Pesterlogs with Dave.
TG: hold on my bro needs me
TG: i wont be long
-- turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum! --
EB: oh, ok.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:43 --
EB: are you back yet?
EB: dave?
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 12:08 --
EB: you’re worrying me dave.
EB: i got a new poster if you want to see it.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 13:56 --
EB: dude this is freaking me out!
EB: its so weird not to have the entire screen filled with red.
EB: usually you’re the one doing all the talking.
EB: dude are you okay?
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:34 --
EB: ...
> John: Run around the room in a panic like a headless chicken.
No! That wouldn’t help anything! Besides, you already did that an hour ago.
> John: Be Dave.
How would that even work? You’re not Dave, you’ve never been Dave.
> John: Pester Rose.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
EB: sorry for bothering you but it's urgent.
EB: has dave talked to you today?
EB: like, at all?
EB: because he is not responding and as far as i know hasn't been online all day.
EB: well, at least since he told me his brother needed him.
EB: not that i check his status every five minutes or something.
EB: that's gay
EB: i'm not gay.
TT: John, you’re rambling.
TT: And no, he hasn’t, but you’re probably overreacting.
TT: You do realize he has a life outside of you, right?
EB: of course i know that.
EB: but it’s been hours and he hasn’t responded.
EB: all he said was that his brother needed him and he’d be right back.
EB: and it’s been hours since then.
TT: He’s probably just hanging out with his brother. He talks about him a lot and looks up to him, maybe they’re just playing video games. It’s probably not all that deep.
TT: Dave is pretty secretive, you can’t expect him to spill it all that easily.
EB: i can’t help but think it’s more than that though...
EB: like, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed him acting weird the past few days.
EB: usually he’s blowing up my notifications but he’s not! rose what if he hates me!
TT: John, how did you even fathom that kind of conclusion?
TT: There’s no way Dave could ever hate you. He’s probably just busy.
EB: you’re probably right. but something is still very fishy here.
EB: and you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed it too, since you always see this stuff before me.
EB: something is very suspicious about how he constantly avoids the subject.
EB: the subject being his bro of course.
TT: No, he hasn’t been acting weird around me. And if something was going on, he would tell me.
EB: yeah, but we were on a skype call the other day and i swear i saw bruises on his neck.
TT: Well, do you have pictures of this supposed bruise?
EB: i don’t take screenshots of dave when we call together!
EB: that’s weird and creepy and he would probably not be happy with me if i did.
TT: Mhm.
TT: Just send the screenshot, John.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] sent a file: Screenshot2011-11-03172129.png --
TT: While I’m not going to deny that those are quite damning, perhaps he simply bumped into something?
TT: No, you’re right. Those do look like hand prints.
TT: That is extremely concerning.
TT: Unless Dave just has a secret girlfriend who’s into some unconventional things.
EB: stop.
EB: i don’t even want to think about that.
TT: We’ll unpack that later.
EB: no, no we won’t.
TT: And I take it you haven’t told anyone else about this? Have you asked Dave where the bruises are from?
EB: you’re the only one. i figured jade is probably asleep and even if she’s not...
EB: i don’t want to worry her that much if it’s not necessary.
TT: I’m flattered that I am your go-to when it comes to problems in our friend circle.
TT: I think you made the right decision. And Dave?
EB: i tried asking him where he got them and he went silent.
EB: have you ever talked to him on call?
EB: he’s so quiet.
EB: it’s weird, i would have expected him to be louder.
TT: No, he prefers using Pesterchum to talk to me.
TT: But what is that supposed to prove?
EB: i don’t know, actually.
EB: maybe you’re right and i’m just being paranoid.
TT: No, no. There’s definitely something going on with Dave.
EB: did dave ever mention anything about smoking to you?
TT: No... He never brought that up. Why do you ask?
EB: because i saw cigarette butts on his desk one time.
TT: Well, that is concerning.
TT: Wait, how are you so familiar with his room? How do you know it wasn’t just his brother?
EB: whatever you're insinuating, stop it immediately!
EB: i've already told you, i'm not gay.
EB: i'm so not gay
EB: i'm like, the straightest man alive.
EB: no way i'd wanna smooch dave's face.
EB: not even ironically.
TT: I'm going to refrain from commenting on that, for your sake.
EB: he gave me a house tour when we were on call one time, that's all.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] sent a file: dave(62).jpg --
TT: ... Wow, John.
TT: I am trying very hard to ignore the fact that you have over 50 pictures of Dave on your computer just labelled "Dave."
TT: But I can't help but wonder why you have so many.
TT: Do you have this many pictures of the rest of us, or is it just Dave you like to snap candids of?
EB: he just sends me a lot of pictures, okay?
TT: And you save all of them?
EB: my laptop just autosaves them when i open them it’s not weird or anything.
EB: i don’t have a dave shrine like you seem to think.
TT: I never said anything about you having a shrine, John.
EB: he usually sends stuff to flex his new webcam.
EB: i send stuff back. it's not weird.
EB: just dudes being bros.
EB: so straight we'd suck the rainbow out of a pride parade.
TT: I'm not going to comment on that one.
TT: But I can't help but notice how... defensive you're being.
TT: You're very adamant that you're “only bros” with him.
EB: i do not beat my meat to photos of dave strider.
TT: Wow, John.
TT: I wasn’t suggesting that you did.
TT: But the fact that your brain immediately went there is a little suspicious.
EB: i do not want to think about strider ass, can we move on already to what is actually important?
TT: “Strider ass?”
TT: Fine, we’ll revisit this later.
EB: i’d rather not.
TT: I agree that Dave may be in danger.
TT: I’m not sure what we can do, though, as we both live very far away from him.
TT: Send me some more of those pictures if they have evidence.
> John: Dig through the Dave shrine to find suspicious things./span>
What Dave shrine? There is no Dave shrine. You aren’t weirdly obsessed with your best friend like that. That would be weird
> John: Send incriminating evidence to Rose.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
-- ectoBiologist [EB] sent 6 files --
TT: Wow. That was fast.
TT: Are you sure you don’t have a “Dave shrine” as you so eloquently put it?
EB: positive.
TT: The angle in the second one is...
EB: it’s nothing it was ironic i swear he was joking when he sent that.
EB: rose don’t you dare.
EB: i promise it didn’t mean anything!
TT: What do you mean? I’m not doing anything.
EB: but you’re thinking things.
EB: dangerous things.
EB: and i already told you they’re not true.
TT: Whatever soothes your overactive juvenile mind.
TT: I’ll take a moment to look these over.
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] is now an idle chum! --
> John: Wait.
You wait for your friend to get back to you. Why not do something to get your mind off things?
> John: Admire Con-Air poster.
You remember a few years back when you were absolutely obsessed with this movie. You like to think that you’re much cooler about it now. But you say your favorite quote aloud, just for old time’s sake.
“Put the bunny back in the box.”
For your thirteenth birthday, Dave gave you the bunny from Con-Air. You later put it on a shelf with a hole cut in the box to display it.
> John: Think about Dave.
Now you’re worried again.
But before you can think about it, your computer lets you know that a chum is pestering you.
> John: Answer chum.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
TG: sorry man
TG: lost track of time i guess
TG: im pretty tired so im just gonna go to bed
TG: talk tomorrow
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
> John: Freak the fuck out.
You freak the fuck out.
> Dave: Contemplate.
What kind of therapy speak is that?
Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you just got your ass handed to you by your older brother. You must have passed out after he threw you down the stairs, because then you woke up with your head on his lap, his hand stroking your bloody hair mockingly.
Everything feels numb. Which should be better than everything hurting, but at least the pain would remind you that you’re still alive.
BRO didn’t treat any of your injuries, so there was a shit ton of blood stains all over your clothes. You would just take them off and wallow in your nakedness, but you hate being nude, so that is simply not an option. Maybe it’s the way your ribs are too prominent, or because your hips are too wide. BRO’s friends seemed to like them, but you just felt uncomfortable. Or maybe it’s just because of the bruises and cuts on your body, a roadmap of your failures.
You should probably bandage the wounds. But looking at the gouges in your flesh makes you want to hurl.
Alas, you peel off your bloody shorts anyways. Your thighs feel sticky. With sweat and blood, probably. You change in the dark, so all you can see are dark lines marring pale white skin. You can barely walk as you move back to the bed, so you just collapse and stare into a pillow. You would have preferred to look at the ceiling, but honestly, you can’t get yourself enough strength to roll over.
> Dave: Sleep.
Oh, hell no.
Remember the last time this happened? You are not in the mood to get the smuppet dream again.
But eventually you end up passing out anyway.
> John: Pester Rose.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
EB: dave is alive at least.
TT: I take it you heard from him?
EB: yeah he sent like four messages and dipped.
EB: something along the lines of “sorry man, tired, talk to you later”.
EB: it was so out of character for him.
: Well, it is almost 11 pm for him.
EB: oh, right, timezones.
EB: shit, that means it’s like midnight for you!
EB: i didn’t realize i was keeping you up so late.
TT: Believe me, if I wanted to go to sleep by now, I would have done so a long time ago.
EB: yeah, still, maybe we should put this off until tomorrow when we can hopefully figure some stuff out with dave.
TT: Fantastic, that gives me plenty of time to sort through our pesterlogs.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
> Dave: Freak the fuck out.
You had the stupid SMUPPET dream again and now you’re clawing at your body like you’re covered in man-eating cockroaches. What a fantastic start to your morning.
It’s not like you’re afraid of the smuppets. How could anyone be afraid of a stuffed toy with a big round rump and a proboscis that always seemed to have a slimy texture (either that, or it was dry and crusty) with beady little eyes that stared into your soul like they wanted to take and devour your little teenage body-
Ok, yeah, no.
> Dave: Stop thinking about those fucking smuppets!
You break free from your blanket prison and launch yourself at the nearest SMUPPET, deploying COOLSHADES (2+1+1+2+2+2+1+2+1+1 %10= 5) midair for a brutal combo.
Your sword slices clean through the soft body, splitting it in half. Fake blood splatters all over the walls.
Shit.
> Dave: Find the camera and get the fuck out of there.
You know what that means. Blood capsules in the SMUPPETS means you just stumbled blearily onto the set of one of BRO’s notorious puppet snuff films. And currently you aren’t in the right headspace to be filmed.
That stupid dream left you more fucked up than you would like to admit.
You used to tell Rose about your dreams, but she started using them to psycho analyze you. Of course your dreams aren’t based on reality. BRO would never do that kind of stuff to you, not even ironically. He has morals.
Right?
What are you even thinking about at this point?
> Dave: Abscond
You give up on finding the hidden camera and ABSCOND back into your room and slam the door behind you, fiddling with the broken lock while trying to get your breathing back to a normal speed.
You want to tear your skin off.
Luckily, your chum decides to pester you right then, which distracts you from your panic attack.
Not really.
> Dave: Answer chum.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
EB: good morning! :B
EB: if you’re awake that is.
EB: how are you doing?
TG: AWESOME
TG: AS ALWAYS
TG: HAVING THE BEST FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW
TG: YOU DONT EVEN KNOW
-- turntechGodhead [TG] changed his mood to RANCOROUS --
EB: sounds great.
EB: guessing you’re not in the mood to talk?
TG: OH WOW HOW DID YOU *POSSIBLY* FIGURE THAT OUT??
TG: I JUST HAD A LOVEY MORNING
TG: PUPPETS
TG: WOW I FUCKING LOVE PUPPETS
TG: THEYRE AWESOME NOTHING MORE TO SAY
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
> Dave: Roll around on the floor in an epic battle with your pillow while screaming into it.
A thunk in your door reminds you that you were already doing that, and BRO is not very happy with you. A pointy end of a SHURIKEN pokes through the thin wood of your door.
You give the pillow a few more solid kicks for good measure before flopping onto your bed.
> Dave: Dissociate.
You are very good at dissociating. You learned that from a young age, you could simply disconnect your mind from your body and ignore all the pain. It’s a cheap trick, but you’re not above cheap tricks. Not that you would tell anyone.
But you can’t forget about everything for long, because your door is opened, flooding light into the room.
> Dave: Figure out what BRO wants.
You sit up, pulling a blanket around yourself. You’re not quite sure why, because temperatures are in the 70s right about now, but you blink the fuzziness from your eyes as you stare at the silhouette in your doorway. Weird. Usually you’re not this drowsy so late in the day. But BRO can’t see your eyes behind your COOL SHADES, so he has no idea about how you can barely keep your eyes open.
Your BRO always insists you wear your COOL SHADES. You used to wear the same DUMB ANIME SHADES your bro wears, before your friend John sent you the BEN STILLER shades for your 13th birthday. It took quite a bit of convincing for your bro to let you wear these new shades, and though your daily strifes for that week were more intense, he did eventually agree and let you wear them.
Hopefully your BRO doesn’t want another strife already. Usually you can handle it, but for some reason your strength hasn’t returned yet this time.
He motions for you to follow him, so you stand up on legs that should not be as wobbly as they are right now, and stumble to the doorway. He makes you walk all the way to the couch without help, before pulling you to rest on him while he plays a video game with his friend. The message is clear - you are nothing more than a doll to him. An accessory to show off, same as all his PUPPETS.
Or at least it should be clear, but all you can think about is how much attention you’re getting from him.
> John: Pester Rose.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
EB: red alert!
EB: er... rancorous alert i guess?
TT: What happened when you went to talk to him?
EB: i just said good morning, i guess he has not been having a good morning.
EB: he did mention something about puppets though.
EB: guess he really likes puppets.
TT: He was probably just being sarcastic.
EB: obviously.
EB: why does everyone think i don’t get sarcasm?
EB: i know how sarcasm works.
EB: i do it all the time.
EB: i was being sarcastic not even 6 messages ago.
TT: Well, a lot of people can’t tell when you’re being sarcastic.
EB: including you? that’s weird since you’re usually really good at reading us.
TT: Maybe it’s because you’re just really bad at sarcasm.
EB: whatever.
TT: Either way, I’ve searched for mentions of puppets in our chat logs.
TT: I think it is probably time to revisit some of Dave’s nightmares.
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] sent a file: dave-nightmares.txt --
> Rose: Revisit the nightmares
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TT: I couldn’t help but notice your current mood. Another nightmare? You’ve been getting those more frequently lately.
TG: i hate them so much i want to pull my skin off
TG: claw my eyes out
TG: i can still feel those stupid puppets crawling all over me
TG: those fucking SMUPPETS
TG: you dont understand rose i need them gone
TG: YOU NEED TO TELL ME WAYS TO STOP DREAMING BECAUSE I CANNOT SLEEP KNOWING IM GOING TO GET MOLESTED BY PUPPETS IN MY DREAMS ROSE
TG: I DONT CARE IF ITS SOME OCCULT CRAP LIKE SUMMONING A DEMON I WILL DO ANYTHING LITERALLY ANYTHING FOR THIS TO STOP HAPPINING
TT: Please calm down.
TT: I’m researching ways to stop repeating nightmares.
TT: Have you ever had that kind of experience while awake? A traumatic event regarding the “smuppets” you mentioned?
TG: what
TG: of course not what do you fucking think this is
TG: dont therapy talk me rose
TG: im not in the fucking mood right now.
TT: Recurring nightmares typically signal that your brain is attempting to process unresolved stress, anxiety, or trauma that you are burying while awake.
TT: The way to stop having these nightmares is by addressing the mental issues you’re having.
TG: i dont know what youre fucking implying
TG: ive never been raped or whatever
TG: i barely leave the house and ive never been at anyone elses house for the night
TG: and if youre trying to say its my bro think again
TG: he would NEVER do that shit to me
TG: its just the fucking PUPPETS ROSE
TG: DONT GIVE ME ANY MORE OF THAT THERAPY TALK YOU DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME!
TT: You’re being very vulgar right now, but not nearly as creative as you usually are.
TG: stop trying to psycho analyze me
TG: im done with this shit.
TT: Let’s talk again when you feel better.
TG: fine
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
> John: Resume pestering Rose.
EB: shit... that sounds bad.
EB: he never told me about nightmares... :[
TT: I would assume because he didn’t want to worry you.
EB: but he tells me pretty much everything about what’s going on in his life.
EB: i’m worried now.
TT: He hasn’t talked about his nightmares in a while, aside from a one-off comment talking about how he dreams the “Lil Cal” puppet is real, and then would “flip the fuck out” when he woke up.
EB: but doesn’t he think lil cal is cool?
EB: that’s what he told me, at least.
TT: I’m not sure, but he did mention that he only realized it was creepy when you told him the puppet was strange, if that helps anything.
EB: i don’t know if i should be flattered that he takes my opinion so highly, or concerned that he only realized that after i told him...
TT: It’s normal to feel both.
TT: He probably just doesn’t have a good frame of reference of what is normal for a guardian to do, because the only adult currently in his life seems to be his brother.
TT: I’ve checked our chats for any mention of another guardian, and I could not find one.
EB: so his brother is more like his father?
EB: now i feel like a jerk for complaining about my dad...
TT: You couldn’t have known he would take it seriously like that.
EB: yeah, well, when i see him in person i’m going to give him the biggest hug ever.
TT: In a straight way?
EB: obviously!
EB: that goes without saying!
TT: I just thought I’d check because you were very insistent on it yesterday.
EB: stop mocking me.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
> Dave: Contemplate.
Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you just got your ass handed to you by your older brother. You must have passed out after he threw you down the stairs, because then you woke up with your head on his lap, his hand stroking your hair mockingly.
Everything feels numb. Which should be better than everything hurting, but at least the pain would remind you that you’re still alive.
BRO didn’t treat any of your injuries, so there was a shit ton of blood stains all over your clothes. You would just take them off and wallow in your nakedness, but you hate being nude, so that is simply not an option. Maybe it’s just because of the bruises and cuts on your body, a roadmap of your failures.
You should probably bandage the wounds. But looking at the gouges in your flesh makes you want to hurl.
You can barely walk as you move back to the bed, so you just collapse and stare into a pillow. You would have preferred to look at the ceiling, but honestly, you can’t get yourself enough strength to roll over.
Wait...
> Dave: Check pesterlogs.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:45 --
TG: sorry man
TG: lost track of time i guess
TG: im pretty tired so im just gonna go to bed
TG: talk tomorrow
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] 23:46 --
-Today-
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 8:12 --
EB: good morning! :B
EB: if you’re awake that is.
EB: how are you doing?
TG: AWESOME
TG: AS ALWAYS
TG: HAVING THE BEST FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW
TG: YOU DONT EVEN KNOW
-- turntechGodhead [TG] changed his mood to RANCOROUS at 8:13 --
EB: sounds great.
EB: guessing you’re not in the mood to talk?
TG: OH WOW HOW DID YOU *POSSIBLY* FIGURE THAT OUT??
TG: I JUST HAD A LOVEY MORNING
TG: PUPPETS
TG: WOW I FUCKING LOVE PUPPETS
TG: THEYRE JUST AWESOME NOTHING MORE TO SAY
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 8:15 --
Something is wrong.
> Dave: Pester John.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
TG: dude something is horribly wrong
TG: i feel like im stuck in a time loop
TG: but im not...
EB: what do you mean by that?
TG: these past few days have felt the same
TG: everything has been happening the same
TG: i wake up from a nightmare and freak out then when i try to get my shit together my bro needs me and i end up passing out only to repeat the same shit again
TG: its like i got transported into some strider hell version of groundhog day and i dont know how to get the fuck out of here
EB: well, in stories with time loops, the only way for the protagonist to break the loop is by some sort of change.
EB: whether that be by preventing an event from happening or a change in the protag’s view on life and stuff.
EB: but it’s not really a movie though.
EB: maybe you should do something different tomorrow morning, and see if that changes things?
TG: maybe...
TG: i kinda just want to talk to you right now though
TG: jegus ignore how pathetic i sound
EB: no, no, it’s fine! :]
EB: what do you want to talk about?
TG: anything
TG: i just need to get my mind off things yk
EB: well, have you played that new game that just came out?
TG: oh shit its out already??
TG: dang i really lost track of time
TG: no i havent ive been too busy
TG: we could play together when i get my shit sorted out
TG: its got a multiplayer mode
EB: we totally should! i’d probably beat your ass though ;)
TG: no way man
EB: yes way! i’ve been practicing yk! i know like, all the combos.
EB: i’m like, unbeatable.
EB: and no way am i going easy on you, just so you know.
TG: it is so on
TG: as soon as i get the game of course
EB: i’m really glad you’re talking to me again.
EB: i thought i did something wrong and you hated me... :(
TG: dude no way i could ever hate you
TG: even though youre obsessed with shitty movies and a total dweeb
TG: i know i joke and stuff but youre my best friend i could never lose you like that
TG: i mean like if you did something really horrible i might not be very happy
TG: but it takes a lot to get rid of a guy like me BT
TG: trust me youre never getting rid of me
EB: :]
EB: thanks, dave.
EB: that means a lot.
> Dave: Repeat, but not really.
You wake up, having had the same nightmare as the past few days. Maybe Rose was right, and this nightmare means something. Your legs feel like rubber as you stumble to the bathroom to bow before the porcelain throne. You try to do it as quietly as possible to avoid alerting your BRO.
Somehow, you finally clear the fog from your mind as you’re brushing your teeth. You remember John’s words. “Do something different.”
> Dave: Do something different.
But what?
Well, your snack stash is running low, and you really need to do a grocery run. You would usually go through the front door, but right now you’re not sure what an encounter with your BRO would result in, but he definitely wouldn’t let you leave the house.
> Dave: Go out the window.
So you climb out of your window and drop gently onto the fire escape. You can’t stop the clang it makes, but you can at least muffle it.
Down and down you go, bewildering some of the residents of other apartments. About halfway down when you're sure your BRO isn't following, you pull out your phone.
> Dave: Pester John.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
TG: k
TG: doing something different today
TG: by that i mean i snuck out
EB: oh damn!
EB: where are you going?
TG: the store
TG: i need to pick up some groceries
TG: but hopefully being out of the house will help clear my head
TG: i feel like ive just been a useless lump lately
TG: damn i look like shit
EB: well hopefully we can figure this out.
EB: i've been really worried about you lately.
EB: and i’m sure you don’t look that bad. :B
TG: yeah well you havent seen me
TG: i look like ive been partying all night with the worst hangover known to man
TG: like a homeless drunk who probably has a drug addiction
TG: i look like the kind of guy who would be missing 3 front teeth
TG: ill tell you if anything else happens
EB: k, bye, talk later.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
> Dave: Tidy up and enter the grocery store.
You don’t usually care how you look when buying groceries, but right now you know you look horrible, and you don’t want people asking questions. And, well, this isn’t a usual day. Typically you would get what you needed and get out, but today you’re planning on lingering until things make a little more sense.
In any case, you head inside, grab apple juice and a few snacks, loiter around the snack aisle trying to look busy so people don’t come up to you and tell you to buy something or get your faggoty ass out of there.
You check to see if they've restocked on the pads you like yet, earning a rude look from a grouchy lady. You ignore her because you’re just glad that you pass well enough for people to think you should be looking at condoms instead of pads and tampons.
Eventually you can’t keep procrastinating so you head up to the counter to pay, handing the cashier a few crumpled bills without saying a single word to anyone there.
You might be thinking clearly now, but you still can’t figure out why you’ve been acting so strangely.
> Dave: Pester Rose
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
TG: do you know why someone would be drowsy despite not being tired
TT: There are a multitude of reasons. Why do you ask?
TG: ...
TG: isnt it obvious?
TT: Just thought I’d ask. Well, being overly drowsy is usually caused by temporary reductions in blood flow/oxygen to the brain.
TT: Things like dehydration, low blood sugar, sudden drops in blood pressure, and even medication side effects.
TG: shit
TG: drugs???
TG: dude i hadnt even thought of that
TT: Dave, if you think you’ve been drugged without your consent, you should go to the police.
TG: with what evidence???
TG: dude i dont exactly have a clean track record when it comes to the law
TG: no no no
TG: not going to the police
TG: shit what am i going to do i cant go back there if hes actually drugging me
TT: Where are you right now?
TG: outside
TG: i went to the grocery store to get some food and stuff
TG: john told me i should do something different today to break the loop i was in
TT: Keep talking to me, okay? Maybe try taking a walk around the block.
TT: I would still recommend going to the police with this and getting a drug test, but I’ll respect your decision.
TG: i would but like
TG: that would make this all too real and i dont think i can handle that right now.
TG: but ill keep talking
TG: some lady looked at me like i killed her cat today
TG: or like i was standing in the store with my pants around my ankles and a metaphorical dick in my ass
TG: its not that weird for a guy to buy pads
TG: im not gonna molest your kids lady
TG: plus guys buy pads for their girlfriends all the time you shouldnt be assuming im not doing that just because i look like a junkie right now
TG: make way the albino heroine addict is on his way to snatch up all the good pads and snort cocaine off of them
TG: maybe even stuff it full of weed and light that shit to get a good healthy dose of microplastics
TG: hell yeah i love smoking cancer with my drugs
TT: Smoking would cause cancer even if you weren’t burning microplastics.
TG: wow thanks for rosespaining or i would have no idea that smoking causes cancer
TG: shit
TG: maybe i really should go to the police about this
TG: but im scared rose
TG: its not even that they wont have evidence
TG: my bro records everything around the house
TG: i know the password to his computer i could even find out for myself but he hates when i mess with his shit
TG: hes gonna kill me if i try looking at the recordings
TG: but if i tell the cops theyll see everything
TT: What do you mean by “everything”?
TG: will the cops send a teenager to a mental hospital if he cuts himself?
TT: Well, technically, yes, they do have that authority.
TT: I'm not going to judge you for that, Dave. Don't worry.
TG: not that i do that
TG: ...
TG: thanks
TT: All of us seem to have those kinds of unsavory habits.
TG: wait what??
TG: even john???
TT: On occasion, he’s told me that.
TT: I’m the group therapist you know. It’s a daunting task.
TG: keep telling yourself that
TT: Either way, you could just lie to the police and say that your brother pressured you into hurting yourself.
TG: and get him in even more trouble??? id rather just catch a bus to washington and hide in john egberts basement
TG: i still care about my bro yk
TG: he literally raised me how can i just throw him under the bus like that
TT: If your brother drugged you, he’s not the kind of person you should be protecting.
TG: still though what if it was for a good reason
TG: its probably my fault anyways
TG: hes just trying to train me so i can get stronger and i dont die in a weak twink body
TG: and like dealing with that kind of stuff is probably just part of the training
TG: building up my tolerance to drugs and stuff
TT: He’s still potentially drugging you without your knowledge though.
TG: fine ill go to the police is that what you want??
TG: not that theyll do shit
TG: idk how new york police are but houston police are fucking slackers
TG: im more likely to get slapped in the face for not being able to talk than i am to get help from them
TG: but whatever ill humor you
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
> Dave: Seek professional help.
You have no idea where the nearest police station is.
==>
You still have data on your phone, so you put it into the GPS, and board a bus going to the nearby area.
You must look like shit, because people are staring at you like you’re foaming at the mouth and about to strike. A woman holding a baby moves away from you.
You scratch nervously at a rash on your arm. Someone asks if you’re okay. Your throat feels too tight to respond, so you just shrug. It’s only when you step off the bus when you realize he’s following you.
> Dave: Confront the stranger.
You whirl around to face the mysterious person.
“Heya, buddy. Din’t mean ta scare ya. I jus figger’d I’d make sure yer alright before I leave ya.”
The man spoke with an accent you didn’t recognize. You don’t trust him, but he probably won’t try anything near a police station. You open your mouth to tell him but your tongue feels dead in your mouth.
“Can’t talk, huh. Ya got anyone with ya?”
You shake your head. A risky move. He hands you a notepad with a pen, which you take with shaky hands.
“Can ya tell me what’s goin’ on?” He taps the notebook.
Hesitantly, you write down “police station” in the red pen.
“I’ll walk ya ta the police station, how bout that? I’m just worried ‘bout a kiddo like ya being alone in this area.”
You want to snap back at him, tell him you know how to take care of yourself and you aren’t a little kid, but the way he talks to you, like he actually cares about some random boy that he found on the bus calls to the inner child you thought you had buried a long time ago.
“How old are ya?” He asks.
“Fifteen.” You manage to mumble, but you wince at your voice. It’s too high, too feminine. He hums approvingly.
“Ya don’t have ta force yerself to talk. I have a daughter, she's autistic- the nonverbal type. So I know somethin’ of the sort when it comes to dealin’ with that typah stuff.” You nod, not knowing what more to say.
“So, whaddaya goin’ to the coppahs for?”
“I mighta been drugged. My friend told me I should get a test for it.” This time, you lower your voice a bit more. Talking to this guy isn’t that bad, you decide.
“Well, now I shooah am sticking with ya. That’s some deep shit. Ya don’t gotta talk about it if ya don’t wanna.”
You allow a slight smile to grow on your face. You aren’t used to people letting you stay quiet. You love your friends, but if you told any of them about this, they’d pester you endlessly until you either spilled or muted them.
You were dreading the idea of walking up to the reception desk alone and having to force yourself to talk. You probably would have chickened out and just went back home, to whatever hell Bro had prepared for you.
Somehow the plastic seats in the waiting area feel less sticky and uncomfortable with someone waiting there with you.
==>
The man’s presence - you recently learned his name was Calvin - didn’t calm all your fears. But it definitely helped a lot.
A stern-faced lady lead you into a separate room. It wasn’t one of those barren grey interrogation rooms from the movie. Maybe that would have been better. Instead you were faced with something you’d expect a therapist’s office to look like. You curled in on yourself on the soft couch as they asked you questions- yes or no, as Calvin had instructed them to do. That way you could simply nod or shake your head.
There were more tests than you thought. The breathalyzer test was expected. The blood test, and other more vague ones were not. The blood test made you react in a very unstriderlike manner, but they gave you a cup of APPLE JUICE after. Thanks, Calvin.
Then a caseworker came in and asked you more uncomfortable questions about your homelife and your BRO.
> Rose: Jailbreak Dave.
Your name is ROSE LALONDE, and you have a very important job. You recently discovered your close friend DAVE STRIDER has been living in an unhealthy household for his entire life.
You have officially made it your mission to get him out of there.
CTT RIGHT NOW opened memo on board JAILBREAK DAVE.
CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CURRENT gardenGnostic [CGG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGG: ????
CTT: Things are getting serious, hence why I gathered us all here.
CEB: did something happen while dave was at the store or something?
CTT: More like he discovered something soon after leaving the store and talking to me.
CTT: The last time I talked to him he was heading to the police station.
CGG: i feel like im missing something guys :<
CEB: oh shit how bad did things get??
CEB: dave hates the police, it must have been really bad for him to willingly go there.
CGG: GUYS!!!
CGG: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHATS GOING ON?!
CTT: Right, sorry Jade.
CTT: To sum things up, Dave has been acting really weird the last few days, and I’m pretty sure it’s because his brother has been drugging him.
CGG: oh-
CEB: HIS BRO HAS BEEN WHAT?!
CGG: wait WHAT?! Σ(ﾟ口ﾟ;)
CTT: I’m not entirely sure yet, but he mentioned feeling drowsy but not being tired. I listed off things that could cause that, and he was the one who jumped to the conclusion of being drugged.
CTT: Just so we’re all clear, this is a sensitive matter and should be approached carefully.
CTT: If we come on too strong, Dave is likely to withdraw from conversations about these kinds of things, which might cause him to go back to his brother.
CTT: I recommend rereading past conversations where Dave mentioned his brother, but replacing brother with father. I’ve found it very insightful.
CEB: i’m assuming you told us immediately after you found out?
CTT: Yes. I am withholding some information because it is personal and I don’t think Dave would want anyone else to know. Also it’s not relevant to the current situation.
CGG: why did no one tell me about this before?
CGG: why am i the only one who’s left out here??
CEB: sorry jade.
CEB: i didn’t know if it was serious or not and i didn’t want you to worry if it wasn’t a big deal.
CGG: i forgive you but dont do that again! (•̀⤙•́ )
CGG: i want to know when things are happening too
CGG: i can handle it
CTT: Well, I did let you know as soon as I knew more about the situation. It’s simply easier to keep it between me and John until we know more, that way we don’t make you freak out for no reason.
> Dave: Waste time.
You should probably be paying attention to what they’re saying. This is your future, after all. But instead you’re playing a rhythm game on your phone and trying to pretend you’re anywhere but here.
You’re too young to be emancipated, but only by a month. If you were old enough, you know you have all the right paperwork to get that taken care of. You’ve looked into it before, when thoughts of running away took over. Maybe you could get John’s dad to take care of you.
You know you have a substantial case against your brother. If you wanted to, you could take him to court and cause him to lose custody. You could even get him put in jail with just one password.
But why would you want to do that? He’s your brother. You love him with all your heart- in the way brothers are supposed to. The thought of losing even the little scraps of affection he gives you makes you want to vomit.
It’s pretty obvious the drug test came back positive. With what, you’re not so sure. Again, you haven’t been paying attention. This is all too real for you.
> Dave: Pester John.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
TG: hey
TG: could you ask your dad if i can stay with you guys for a bit
EB: ofc!
EB: i heard that you went to the police about what’s been going on.
EB: guessing it’s not going too well?
TG: rose you snitch
TG: theyve just been asking me a lot of questions
TG: i really havent been paying that much attention so i dont know that much of whats going on
TG: just a bunch of legal stuff
TG: i dont have any other relatives so theyd probably try putting me with some stranger unless i can find someone to stay with but i dont know if theyll let me go out of state during the court stuff
EB: my dad is fine with that.
EB: if you can’t come out of state we’ll just get a hotel room to stay in texas during the legal stuff.
TG: john egbert you are a LIFESAVER
EB: hehe, thank you! :]
EB: i always want to be there for my friends.
EB: and this means we get to meet in person!
TG: yeahh
EB: and i’m gonna beat your ass in dark forest.
EB: you promised to play with me.
TG: good luck man
TG: youll probably get one win and then id beat you every other time.
EB: yeah right!
EB: i told you already, i’m like the champion of that game!
TG: whatever you say bro
==>
CURRENT ectoBiologist [CEB] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CEB: my dad will let dave stay with us
CTT: That’s good.
CGG: why isnt dave talking to me?
CGG: why only you guys?
CTT: It’s probably because he’s not doing too well right now and doesn’t want to bother you.
CGG: youre probably right but still!
CGG: we’re friends too, yk!
CEB: sorry jade...:[
CGG: it’s not your fault
> Dave: Figure this shit out.
You folded and gave the cops the password to your BRO’s computer. So much for keeping him out of trouble.
Calvin offers to give you a place to stay. You were hesitant until he explained he would just fund a hotel room for you.
You were used to living mostly on your own by now. BRO was not very active in your life.
Your groceries from that morning were still in your bag, so you had enough food. One of the housekeepers brought you something to eat for dinner though.
The rest of the time before John arrived was a blur. It felt like no time at all had passed, but at the same time it felt like you’d been waiting for years.
> John: Meet your best friend.
Despite the unfortunate circumstances surrounding your first meeting, you were excited to finally see Dave in person. You’d been friends for years, after all, but you’d always lived too far apart to ever see each other. Until now, that is. You sent Dave a chat, waiting eagerly in the hotel lobby. When you saw him come down the stairs, you broke away from your father and gave him a big hug.
Dave had stiffened when your arms wrapped around him, processing the hug for a moment before hugging you back.
The first thing you noticed was how thin he was. Your dad noticed that, too.
The second thing was how desperately he was holding onto you.
You head up to Dave’s room with him, your dad staying behind to talk to an older gentleman, who you assumed must be the Calvin that Dave mentioned.
“I’m so happy that I finally get to see you in person.” You say, holding Dave’s hands. You’re still scared that if you let him go he’ll disappear, and this will all be a dream. “Are you doing alright? I know it’s been rough for you. That’s probably a dumb question, you don’t have to answer that, haha...”
“I’m... okay. I’ll be okay, is what I mean. Obviously I’m not okay. But I’m Dave Strider, and Striders never stay down for long.” Dave mumbled.
“Y’know, I think that it’s really admirable to allow yourself to be vulnerable. It takes a lot of strength. What I’m saying is in my opinion that’s pretty cool. You’re cool.”
“Gee, thanks. I really needed your sappy nonsense today.”
“Haha... sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
An awkward silence fills the room.
“They’re gonna want me to show up in court.”
“Is that a bad thing?” You wouldn’t have expected that to be such a bad thing. Wouldn’t Dave want to be the one to make sure the person who hurt him was behind bars?
“It is a really bad thing.” Dave fidgets with his shirt.
“Oh. I didn’t know that.”
“I can barely talk to one person, and they’re gonna want me to talk to a room of like, 100 people. In front of my brother. I can’t face him after what I’ve done.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong though.” You squeeze Dave’s hand. Rose was once talking about how abuse victims often blame themselves for what their abusers have done to them, but you never really thought Dave would feel that way.
“Snitches get stitches, John. I violated every volume of the bro code by givin’ the cops that password, and now he’s probably gonna go to jail.”
“But if he goes to jail, he won’t be able to hurt you anymore. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“He wasn’t hurtin’ me, he was trainin’ me. Trainin’ me to be better, to be stronger. And I wasn’t strong enough, so I threw him under the bus to get away.”
You don’t know how to respond to that. Clearly Dave isn’t going to change his mind about this.
“I’m not going to pretend I understand, because I don’t. But ruminating like this isn’t going to help anything.”
“You sound like Rose.” Dave almost cracks a smile.
“Probably because I got that from Rose.”
> Dave: Commence gay panic.
You’re pretty much already having the gayest gay panic you’ve ever had. John’s hands are so soft, and they’re still holding yours. You knew he was on the chubbier side from the pictures he sent you, but you never realized he was this soft- and you certainly had no idea you’d like it this much.
John basically looks like any average nerd from a movie. Thick rimmed glasses, a buck toothed overbite, messy hair, and of course, braces. You wonder how it would feel to run your tongue over the blue banded brackets. Would he take the rubber bands out to kiss?
You have to push away that train of thought for a later date, before you go too far. John isn’t gay, he’s very adamant about that, so you keep your thoughts a secret, tucked close to your chest in the deepest part of your mind.
“So, do you want to do anythin’?” You ask, clearing your throat to get your voice a little bit deeper. “I don’t have any of my cool stuff from the apartment, unfortunately. But the receptionist brought up some board games for me.”
“What kind of games do you have?”
Your heart does a happy flip when John turns to you with that smile on his face.
“Just... the normal stuff. Battleships, Sorry, Life, etc. The pile is over there.” You point to a haphazard stack on the dresser.
“We could play monopoly.”
“Oh, hell no. That game tears families apart worse than cheap booze and bad decisions. If we play that one of us is gonna end up cryin’ and-slash-or beheaded. I’m serious, John. Heads will fuckin’ roll under my reign.”
“Okay, okay.” John chuckles. You smile. He smiles. And everything is perfect.
> John: Win at battleships.
Unfortunately, you cannot win at battleships. Dave already did that.
Instead, you flop onto your back on the soft hotel bed.
“Bored of losin’ already?” Dave teases, laying down beside you. Your heart gives a pathetic little flutter, but you wouldn’t dare say anything about it. That would be way too gay. “We could play somethin’ else.”
“I dunno.” You sigh, and chance a glance at Dave. He’s facing you, laying on his side. If you were to roll over, he’d definitely be too close. You almost consider it, but then your dad, who must have gotten a keycard for the room, walks in. You both pop up like whack-a-moles.
“Oh! Hi Dad!”
Dave says nothing, just staring down at his lap. His ears are a little bit red. You give him a pat on the back before sliding off the bed to help your dad with the luggage.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Dave.”
“Nice to meet you too, I guess.” Dave mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest as you haul your suitcase onto the bed. You give him a quick pat on the shoulder, then worry if you’re being too touchy for just a moment before he gives you a tiny, microscopic smile.
> Dave: Bust out the Xbox 360 and play some video games!
You’re helping John unpack his stuff from the suitcases right now, and trying to not look at his underwear as you help him transfer his clothes into one of the drawers of the dresser. Not because you secretly want to look at them, you’re just hypervigilant since you’re scared he’ll think you’re a freak.
So yeah, not the best time right now.
Of course, John had the new best gaming console. Even though you try and brag about the stuff your bro gives you, it’s all handmedowns. You only got your good webcam because your BRO got a new, better webcam. Your turntables? You only have them because your BRO upgraded. And the shitty swords you have are so low quality compared to your bro’s custom forged katana. So, yeah. It must be nice to be John and have a dad who would give you a brand new gaming console just because it’s your birthday. That being said, you don’t actually harbor any ill will to John! Even if you were angry, one look at John’s face would immediately dispel that misplaced rage.
Maybe you should have looked at him with that last thought. Maybe that would have been a good idea.
“You let him out of your sight.”
You let out an embarrassingly girlish scream when someone tackles you from behind, kicking and punching at your unseen foe- until you kick John in the nuts.
“Shiiiiitt!” John curls into a fetal position, groaning in pain.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry John...”
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have asked if that was okay first.. Jeez you are strong, man...”
You aren’t sure when exactly John’s dad had left the room, but he certainly isn’t here now. Good, because you don’t exactly want him to know you just landed a perfectly timed blow straight to his son’s baby maker.
“You’re mumbling again.”
“Are you okay?”
“What? Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
You sit up and stare at John, who has stopped writhing around on the floor like a fish out of water.
He stares back at you.
You turn your head away, but still secretly stare at him behind your shades so he can’t tell where you’re looking.
“John, you...“
“Dude, I can’t wait to show you this game! You’re gonna love it!”
John gives you a toothy grin, pulling his console from his suitcase.
“Oh, right. I forgot about that.” You say rather flatly. John falters. Shoot, did that come out sounding too bored?
“I mean, we don’t have to play it yet if you don’t want to..”
No, you want to play. You really want to play that with John, even if just to see him happy.
“No no no, I want to play.” Why is it so hard to make yourself sound as excited as John is?
> John: Beat Dave’s ass in Dark Forest
You get the Xbox set up with Dave’s general electronic expertise, and get the game booted up.
“You better not go easy on me, man.”
“No way, bro.”
You beat Dave 3 times in a row in the PVP mode. On your third win, you threw your hands up in the air in victory, and then smoothly put an arm around Dave when you were lowering them. Dave startles, but leans into it with a small smile.
NO MORE FORMATTING I GOT LAZY
“Dave...” You realize how your tone sounds and quickly regroup to try again. “I mean uh-”
“You know we can just enjoy a comfortable silence, right?”
He leans his head on your shoulder.
“Oh- yeah, of course.” The way that your heart pounds is totally gay, but for once you choose to ignore it. Instead, you ruffle Dave’s hair. It’s soft, and smells like hotel shampoo.
This goes against everything you’ve ever been taught, but for some reason you love the way it feels. Not that you can tell anyone back home. The only friends you have at home are the ones from your church, and they definitely would snitch to the priest about your secret gay thoughts. Even so, here with Dave you really don’t care about that- Oh, God, he’s staring at you with a little smirk on his lips. No, don’t stare at them!
You are suddenly struck with the urge to kiss Dave. And lacking impulse control, you do just that.
Your noses bump together in your haste, and then you knock your foreheads together, pressing your glasses awkwardly into the bridge of your nose. His lips are thin and dry, and there’s a little indent in the bottom lip from his teeth. It wasn’t a good kiss, even by your standards. You kept your eyes open the whole time, and from this close you could see just a hint of his eyes behind his shades. They were wide open and staring right at yours in shock.
Then you tear away from him and bury your face into a pillow.
You’re definitely going to Hell for this.
> Dave: What just happened..?
You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out. John is straight. Undeniably, irrefutably straight. Under no condition would he willingly kiss a guy.
Unless he somehow figured out that you weren’t biologically male.
“John, what-?”
“Just forget about it, okay? I was just trying it out.”
“What- you-?”
“Dave! Drop it, alright?!” He yells at you. You shrink back instinctively like a kicked puppy.
“I can’t just fuckin’ drop it, okay? You kissed me, and now you’re sayin’ it means nothin’. Is that all I am to you? An experiment?” You want to yell at him, but instead your voice shrinks into an angry little whisper.
“What? Of course not.”
He’s finally looking at you now. Your shoulders shake in completely silent tears, and John pulls you into a hug. You bury your face in his chest. He tries to take your shades off, but you push his hand away. He respects that.
“I should have asked.”
“I would have said yes.”
“You would have- Dave, that doesn’t change anything! I still should have asked!”
“Would you kiss me again?”
“I really shouldn’t.”
“That didn’t stop you the first time.”
You stare into his bright blue eyes. He can’t see yours, probably for the best.
“This is so gay.”
“Dude. Everythin’ about us is gay.”
“Well, yeah, but...”
“You don’t want to kiss me, do you?”
“No! That’s not it!”
John’s dad walks in, and he shoves you away.
“Hey you boys, I hope you’re being good.” He ruffles John’s hair, and you immediately feel jealous. Bro never did that to you.
“Yeah, we’re being good!”
“Well, I talked things out with the staff and for tonight I’ll let you boys share this room. I’ll be right next door if you need anything.”
You aren’t sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Probably not a bad thing.
John helps his dad move some stuff around, and you just sit there awkwardly. You aren’t sure if it’s because he rejected you or because of the prospect of sharing a hotel room. All alone.
There are two beds, but still. All alone with John Egbert, your long time standing crush. Time for a fucking teenage orgy, no adults allowed!
His dad finally leaves, and he sits on the bed next to you.
“So, about that kiss?” You waggle your eyebrows in an attempt to be funny.
“Uhm- yeah, sure.” He turns to face you, and your lips touch. You pull him in closer by the shoulders. His hand slides up into your hair, while the other rests on your lower back. You nip at his lip to get him to open up, which he does.
“Oh, shit- Dave, maybe we-”
But you’re too invested in this to realize what he’s saying. You’ve done this before, so you know what you’re doing. John, on the other hand, is wonderfully inexperienced. You trace the brackets on his teeth with your tongue, feeling around his mouth for those rubber bands that are supposed to fix the overbite you find so endearing.
It was all fun and games until you felt something poking you in the thigh. You jump back like it burned you, and stare at the offending tent in his pants.
“Shit- uh..”
“Sorry. I tried to warn you.” He covers his face in embarrassment, which you would have found cute if you weren’t trying to keep your lunch in your stomach.
“You... uhm... should probably take care of that. I need to piss. I’ll uh... be right back.”