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:: All I really know is that your hold on me is way too strong to be just a part of my imagination. ::
......
It was hot and stifling.
The body heat of a thousand people, or so it seemed, swirling in the air, thickening it to the point where it was nearly impossible to breathe.
On either side of him were bodies, pressing up against him; too many people trying to fit into the impossibly small auditorium, like square pegs attempting to shove themselves through circular peg holes. It wasn’t working.
And through it all, through the bullshit speech he’d been forced to endure (“your future is bright,” “you’ll make us proud,” and all that other such complete bullshit), through the mass exodus of kids waltzing up front, their shit eating grins belying the truth those sitting in the audience knew: give it a year, maybe less, and they’ll all be wishing they were back here, back where things were easy-
But through it all, the only thought running through Brian Kinney’s head was ‘what the fuck am I doing here?’ Being crushed to death by the mass of proud parents and the like, to see a bunch of shithead kids get a fucking piece of paper?
But then “Justin Taylor” came through the loudspeakers, and Brian thought he could see the glint of teeth from his spot in the fucking nosebleed alley of the auditorium, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, his pains had been worth it. But probably not.
Next to him, Debbie yelled “Go sunshine!” and pulled out an air horn from god knows where, and his muttered “christ!” wasn’t heard even by himself.
Rubbing his ear, he watched Justin turn towards where they were sitting and flash his bright smile at them, before walking back down the aisle to his seat, flipping his tassel to the other side of the fugly ass hat forced upon countless generations of little hellions about to be unleashed into the hard, cruel world.
Against his will, Brian was almost proud of the little shit. He knew how hard this year had been on Justin, both in school and out of it. There had been a few rough spots, but like all the good little fags who'd come before him, he'd persevered.
Then the ceremony was over, and the fucking ugly hats were thrown into the air and blah blah blah, and as Brian stood, he was amazed that Debbie could convey 'you're coming to the fucking party and eating the fucking food I slaved over and you'll fucking be proud of Sunshine' into a single look. But then she'd had years of practice.
.....
The lesbians had offered the use of their house for Justin's graduation party, saying it was because that way they could put Gus down for a nap in his own bed and still be able to attend the party. Brian suspected the real reason was that Lindsay had never been able to fully shed her waspy upbringing and loved to play the hostess with the mostest.
What they hadn't counted on, and what had apparently driven Mel nuts, was Debbie camping out in their kitchen for days to make her trademark Italian feast to honor the young lad on the day he could finally unlock the chain keeping him at St. James. The most fun Brian had all day was grinning smugly at Melanie when Debbie wasn't looking.
Brian was contemplating jumping out the bathroom window when Justin managed to untangle himself from his mother and Debbie and shashay over to the couch to plop down next to Brian, shoving a brownie in his face with a sly grin. Little shit.
They ate in silence, with Justin continually pressing his leg closer and closer to Brian's and grinning at him, until Brian was contemplating going to the bathroom for a completely different reason.
"So, even though I'm all graduated now, do you still feel like a dirty old man, what with the fucking me and all? I mean, I'm not even in college yet." Justin asked him, with an entirely unconvincing air of innocence. Now Brian just wanted to drag the little twat back home and teach him a thing or two about respect. And there might be some celebration involved, but probably not.
"Fucker," Brian said, shoving Justin over with his leg. The twink in question just grinned at him again, and Brian was pretty sure the kid's face was gonna freeze like that before the day was over. But as long as he could still open his mouth wide enough to get his dick inside, Brian didn't give a fuck. In fact, maybe it would shut him the fuck up for more than two seconds...
For someone who loved to hear himself talk, though, Brian was pleasantly surprised that he had apparently not run off at the mouth about Brian's impromptu visit to his prom. After Michael had stopped him from doing what he'd really wanted to do that night, he'd made a spur of the moment decision to do the other thing he wanted to do on his birthday and dance with Justin.
Of course, their dance had been far different than the kind he had really wanted, but it had pleased the little twat immeasurably. He'd offered to let the boy stay to finish the night with Daphne, but after making sure she had a ride home, Justin had left with Brian, saying that way, at least he'd actually be having some fun that night. He hadn't really wanted to go to the prom at all, he'd said, but his mother and Debbie had wanted him to go so badly, he finally said yes just to shut them up.
The point, however, was that Justin had been so happy about the whole event that he'd been putty in Brian's hands that night, doing anything and everything asked of him. Justin, he'd discovered, was surprisingly flexible. It had been some of the best sex he'd ever had, hands down. Not that he would ever tell Justin, though. He could only imagine how insufferable the brat would be then...
"Hey! Hey everybody, shut the fuck up!"
Next to Brian, Justin groaned and attempted to sink into the couch, hoping to remain unseen, but with his fat ass it wasn't happening. No, Debbie still saw him, and came over to yank him up and drag him over to where his mother was standing, still shredding a kleenex in her hands and sporting a watery smile.No doubt they were gonna embarrass the shit out of the kid now, with Jennifer providing stories of the young babe running around in diapers, causing all sorts of mayhem.
In an attempt to not die of boredom or from drowning under the combined weight of Jennifer and Debbie's tears (or both), Brian escaped upstairs under the pretense of spending some time with son. He could feel the weight of Justin's glare following him up the stairs, and merely turned to smirk at the boy before finishing his great escape.
Sonny boy was still asleep, so Brian was able to enjoy the silence for a moment, before he sat down in a chair next to Gus' crib, staring at his son. There were times he still couldn't believe that this little... thing was the product of him. That he'd helped create this little ball of life... He'd never expected to feel as much as he did about the whole thing, but he did. He... loved Gus, his son. From the moment he'd held him in his arms the first time, he knew. It scared the living shit out of him, but he loved Gus. He would do anything for his little boy, he knew. He'd never wanted to give up that level of control, not to anyone, but it was done.
And surprisingly, he didn't regret it. His own father had spent everyday reminding him how much he regretted letting Brian be born, but Brian could never imagine feeling that way about Gus...
"He's a good kid," came a soft voice from the doorway. Brian turned, and there was Justin, leaning against the door frame. Apparently he'd managed to escape from the mothers... "He's just a baby, how do you know if he's good or not?" Brian asked, turning back to the crib. "For all we know, we're looking at the next Manson. Take your pick. Or the next, fuck, the next Tom fucking Cruise. Christ, I can't decide which would be worse."
Justin just laughed softly, not wanting to wake Gus, and walked up next to Brian, watching Gus with him. "Or, we're looking at the next Gus Peterson-Marcus-Kinney. And I know he's good because of who his parents are." He looked up at Brian. "All of them," he finished softly.
"Fucking sap," Brian muttered. He pulled Justin to him and kissed him briefly. "You ready to get the fuck out of here and really celebrate?" He felt Justin nod against him, and with one last fond glance at his son, he dragged Justin out of the room and down the stairs. "Well, it's been real, but we have pressing business elsewhere."
Debbie began to protest, but she was ignored by both Brian and Justin, and drowned out by Emmett's catcalls. Brian looked up long enough to see Jennifer's lips press together in a thin line, the disapproval obvious on her face, and he silently dared her to say something. If there was anything that this day was really about, it was the fact that Justin was truly an adult now; he didn't have to listen to a damn thing she said anymore.
And given the choice, Brian knew Justin would choose him. The boy did wonders for his ego... He grabbed his keys in one hand and Justin in the other and pulled him out the door before anyone could say anything more, though. He didn't want their mood to be ruined by Justin fighting with his mother, though he was kinda hot when he was all riled up.
Pressing him up against the side of the Jeep, Brian got him riled up in a different way, though, before pushing him in the general direction of the passenger door. He climbed into the Jeep and started it, waiting for Justin to get in. "Where are we going? Babylon?" Justin asked as they drove off of the lesbian's street and back into real civilization.
Brian simply raised a single brow at him, and drove in the direction of the loft. Justin's smile promptly turned into a smug grin, knowing what would be happening, and Brian let it go. It was the brat's day, he supposed. Besides, making Justin happy in bed was one of the easiest things he'd ever done, and the boy gave back as good as he got, so really it was win-win for both of them. Brian would make sure Justin spent his first official day of the rest of his life with his head spinning so fast he couldn't even remember his own name. A smug smile graced his own face, but Justin didn't notice, lost in his own little world of anticipation. Good. Brian always loved the element of surprise.
.....
"Oh god. That was good." Justin groaned as Brian rolled off of him, having completed their second round of the night.
Brian smiled in smug satisfaction, reaching over to grab a cigarette from his bedside table and lighting it, before laying back down next to Justin.
The kid in question was sprawled out over the bed limply, and he grinned drowsily at Brian as he laid back down, before running his hands through his hair and pushing himself up.
"Just good?" Brian asked him, passing him the cigarette. "If it were just good, I doubt you would have screamed so loud you woke up the fucking dead. No, I think it was more than good."
Justin just elbowed him, not really having a retort, since it was true, after all. "You know," Brian continued, "you're gonna have to learn to keep it down when you move into that apartment with Daphne."
"How'd you know about that?" Justin asked, handing him back his cigarette. "It was supposed to be a surprise."
"Please, how could I not know? Good thing you didn't tell Debbie your exact address, or else you'd have all sorts of psychos showing up at your door. All of Liberty Avenue knows that fair headed Sunshine is going to be roughing it on his own, but with enough ziti to last you at least through a third world war." Brian put out the cigarette in his ashtray and stood, pulling Justin up with him and pushing him into the bathroom. They needed a shower before Justin stuck to his bed for the rest of his life. While that wouldn't be a bad thing in theory, the kid literally never shut up; when he wasn't fucked out of his mind, that is.
"But tell me, how does a penniless lad such as yourself afford a place of your own, even shared?" Brian asked as he turned on the shower. "I know you and your ass get good tips at the diner, but it can't be that much."
Justin just smirked and shook said ass at him, before turning serious. "No, my mom was able to find a kick ass divorce lawyer. They never had prenups, so my mom gets half of everything. And my dad had already set up college funds for me and Molly, so we still get those. I don't know how she found him, but the guy she's got is good."
Brian just nodded, following Justin into the shower, and decided not to mention the business card he'd stuck in Jennifer Taylor's mailbox the other day. Or the fact that he'd talked to his lawyer and had him charge Jennifer way less than the normal fee, picking up the rest of the tab himself. Justin's father should have thought twice before messing with Brian fucking Kinney, that was for sure. And if he couldn't sue the mother fucker for trying to beat the shit out of him, or for ramming his car, then he could at least have his lawyer wipe the floor with him this way.
And this way, Justin got taken care of and Brian got his revenge. It was, again, a win-win. Not that Brian particularly cared about Jennifer Taylor, but if Justin was living with Daphne he'd be underfoot less often, and Brian's life may regain some semblance of normalcy.
Looking at Justin, though, who was too busy washing his hair to notice, Brian realized that wasn't fucking likely. But the shit of it was: he couldn't decide how he felt about that. Part of him wanted to be pissed as hell at this twink for butting in where he didn't belong, but another part of him was almost happy about it; relieved. That was probably just his dick, he decided, as he pushed Justin up against the shower wall, ready for round three.
.....
Ever since their dance at his prom, Justin had been... different. Less annoying. At first Brian had been highly suspicious of this change in behavior, but he had since gotten used to it. He was still a little on edge, though, just waiting for the kid to revert back to his previous ways, but so far it hadn't happened.
And even more amazing than the reduction in level of annoyance (though perhaps the two were tied), was the fact that Justin still had not told anyone about the fact that they had danced at his prom. When asked how the night had been, he'd hemmed and hawed, saying it was just like every other shitty high school dance he'd been to, nothing special. But when the others had looked away, he'd grinned at Brian, reveling in their little secret.
And a secret it was. There was no way Brian would never live down having attended a high school prom at his age, he knew, so he kept the incident from his friends.
There was also the fact that he had enjoyed himself, which was a massive shock to his system. He'd gone initially as a bit of a joke for himself, to prove that he was still young enough to go to a prom, age be dammed. But when he'd seen how the kid fucking lit up at his presence, he realized he was there a bit for Justin as well.
And the corny ass song they'd danced to? No way were his 'friends' ever going to find out.
But Justin was still feeling the high from that night, it seemed, even two months later. Brian had heard him humming the song on occasion, and the little shit was still strangely acquiescent, particularly in bed. Not that Brian was complaining. It was just a bit odd.
But because of it, Brian found himself spending fewer nights at Babylon and more time either at his loft or at Justin's new apartment, spending more time with the kid, and of course fucking the shit out of him.
He'd always just assumed that fucking the same person night after night (or morning after morning, and afternoon after afternoon) would get boring, but that wasn't happening with Justin. Somehow the boy kept him interested, time after time.
He wanted to be freaked out about the changes happening in his life, gradual though they were- but he couldn't. The sex was too damn good to just stop it, and Justin wasn't a particularly bad person to spend time around. At least the kid was smart, which was more than he could say for some of the other members of their little group. He was great with Gus, and everyone loved him, and-
Fuck.
Brian pulled his Jeep over and turned it off, sitting on the side of the road. He'd been on his way to pick up Justin at the diner after his shift when he'd stumbled onto this epiphany:
Brian Kinney was in a fucking relationship.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.
He gripped the wheel hard, his head spinning. Behind his back, he'd been walking steadily into this... relationship with Justin, with the kid, and he'd never seen it coming. Looking back, he could see it now, though.
Late night fucks had turned into late night conversations; weekend marathons of sucking and fucking had turned into weekends with Gus and reluctant lunch with the lesbos... Even now, he was picking up Justin to bring him to Debbie's for her bi-weekly 'family dinner.'
Fucking A.
They still did that, though, the fucking. And quite a lot of it. Now they just did more, in addition to the fucking. What scared Brian the most was that he had never noticed it. Justin just put him at ease, and he liked hanging around the twink. Jesus. In fact, thinking about it, Brian would say he now spent more time with Justin than he did with Michael, and if that wasn't a sign of fucking everything, he didn't know what was. Shit.
He started his Jeep again, thinking he might be able to drive again now, and thought about what he should do as he drove towards the diner once more. Part of him wanted to just keep driving, far away, away from all this shit and little twinks who didn't belong, but he couldn't do that. Because Justin did belong now. It pained him to admit it, even to himself, but Justin had done the impossible. Brian cared about him. Brian fucking Kinney cared about Justin fucking Taylor.
There, he'd said it.
He parked outside the diner, taking a few deep breaths. He would keep his new found knowledge to himself, because god only knew the level of annoying twink Justin would climb to if he knew. He fortified himself, and as he walked into the diner, he saw Justin waiting for him, sitting at the counter. Justin stood, and Brian pulled close, kissing him hard. He would let this play out, because hell, he'd never had so much fun in his bed or in his life as when Justin was in it, and besides, he was Brian fucking Kinney. He could do whatever the hell (or whoever the hell) he wanted.
And if anyone had a problem with that, they could just shut the fuck up.
.....
:: I remember when we came together, we were just a beacon for the lonely. ::
THE END.