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If Not Now, When?

Summary:

Since what happened with El a few months ago, Mike has realized many things, something is wrong with him. Now they've graduated, and everyone is trying to cope with El's death during the summer before going their separate ways.

Notes:

I really love stranger things and I also love writing, so why not try to write the journey of acceptance of Michael Queeler?

I usually listen to the Call Me By Your Name soundtrack when I'm writing, so if you want to listen to music, I recommend that! If I want you to listen to a specific song, I'll include links.

Chapter 1

Notes:

This is my first published fanfic and also English isn't my first lenguage so yeah, be nice please!

Chapter Text

“End of the campaign” Mike announces while everyone is celebrating their victory, they are laughing and happy.

 

“Great campaign” says Dustin while he shakes his hand with everyone and they all say the same thing.

 

Mike looks at everyone standing up and begins to place their folder on the shelf, but his gaze is focused on one person in particular, Will. Lately, he's been feeling weird around him.

 

“Hey,” Mike spaces out, it's Will, he is talking to him. “Your mother called us for lasagna, everyone has already gone upstairs” Will points to the stairs.

 

“Oh–right, yeah, yeah, uh, I'll–I’ll be there in a minute.” Fuck, he's acting really weird.

 

“Okay, um, don't take too long.” Will makes a confused face and lingers for a few more seconds before he begins to go upstairs, each step creaking with every footstep he takes.

 

Was it him, or is Will also acting a little weird? Nah, it's probably his imagination.

 

“Will,” Will turns around almost in front of the basement door, “I know we have all this summer but I just wanna make sure that you can hang out, with me–with the party, with the party I mean, although if you want it to be just the two of us, that would be fine too.”

 

Shit that was really weird.

 

“Yeah, Mike I can,” Will nods, giving Mike a gentle smile and letting out a few giggles “I don't have to pack until the end of summer.”

 

Packing— Mike hates those words. They remind him of that summer when Will and El moved to California, and he didn't send Will a single letter. Hearing Will say those words again hurt even more than the last time they came out of Will's mouth.

 

He doesn't know why, but he feels an emptiness when he thinks about it or when Will is away, it's like losing him all over again.








They were all sitting at the table eating the lasagna Karen had made. Max was between Lucas and Mike, Will was in front of Lucas, and Dustin was in front of Mike.

 

Something felt off. Will usually sits next to Mike, but this time he was sitting at the other end. Max seemed to have noticed that weird change too.

 

Max moved a little closer to Mike and whispered “Hey, are you two good?”

 

“Yeah, why? Did Will say something to you?” Mike whispered back.

 

“No, not really, but I find it really strange that Will isn't sitting next to you like he always does.” 

 

After saying that, Max moves away and continues eating, leaving Mike wondering what could have happened to Will that made him stop sitting next to him.

 

Had what he asked been strange? Or had he done something that made him uncomfortable?

 

Whatever it had been, he needed to know, feeling Will so far away made him feel empty and alone.

 

“Hey, it's not completely dark yet, Stacy's party is probably still going on,” Dustin brings another piece of lasagna to his mouth.

 

“Yeah! I think it would be fun to go. What do y’all think?” Lucas seemed to be waiting for someone to mention that.

 

“I'm in,” Of course Max was going to say yes, after everything that's happened the only thing she wants is to have fun.

 

“Will, Mike, are you guys in?” Lucas exchanges glances with the two of them.

 

“I don’t know man, it’s too late, don’t you think Will?” Mike looks directly at Will, at least he would have someone on his side.

 

“It's not that late, besides I don’t usually go to parties, but if you're all going, I suppose I'll go too.” Will says with a smile but a little unsure.

 

Mike felt betrayed, he thought Will would be on his side. Maybe they could be together in the basement or even in his bedroom while the others were at that stupid party…

 

But what's he thinking? It's not like he cares that much about what Will does, he's his friend, best friend. It's normal to feel that way, right? Besides, Will doesn't like alcohol, so why would he prefer to go to that party instead of being with him?

 

Will is going to a party full of alcohol and stupid teenagers. Mike has to go and protect him, because that's what friends do, right? Look out for each other. It's always been like that since they were little. Mike has always been looking out for Will.

 

“I’m going too.” 

 

“Okay, let's get going!” Lucas shouts as he walks, causing the rest of the party to follow him.



⊹⊱ ♫ ⊰⊹





Mike has lost track of how many hours they've been at the party, but he knows that everyone in the group is super drunk. Lucas and Max are dancing close together while flirting with each other, and Dustin is talking to a lot of girls and, surprisingly, is having quite a bit of success.

 

Then there’s Will, He's just staring at the drinks in the kitchen. Mike has noticed that he's been holding the same drink since he arrived, he hasn't even taken a sip.

 

Will had been staring at the drinks for a few minutes, he seemed trapped in his thoughts and unable to break free from them.

 

“Will, are you okay?” Mike asks Will, touching his shoulder, but feeling it's too much contact so he quickly pulls away.

 

“uh?” Will turns around, slightly surprised by the presence of Mike.

 

“Are you okay?” Mike repeats, ”You've been staring at the drinks for a few minutes now,” Mike is really worried about Will but also needs an excuse to get out of this party.

 

He could do a party a thousand times better than this one, and one that Will would actually enjoy, it would be the best party Will has ever been to.

 

“Yeah, yes, I'm fine, It’s just I think I'm a little tired”

 

“Do you wanna go home?”

 

“I don't know, I think I’m gonna stay a little more,”

 

“You’re sure?”

 

“Yeah, Mike I’m sure.”

 

“Okay, let me know when you want to leave, I'll be by the sofas.” 








It’s been like one hour since he had that conversation with Will and that makes him so nervous, what if something happened to him? 

 

“Wait, maybe he got home alone,” Mike murmurs for himself with no intent of someone hearing what he is saying. “fuck that would be worse.” 

 

Mike hears a feminine voice screaming something, but the music is too loud to understand exactly what she's saying.

 

“Mike! Mike, where are you?!” It’s Max, why is she screaming?

 

Mike gets up and follows the voice among the teenagers and the thunderous music until he finds Max.

 

“Holy shit Mike! Where were you? We were all looking for you, I need you to follow me right now!” Max looks stressed.

 

“What, what happened Max?”

 

“It’s Will,” 

 

Will, something has happened to Will. He knew something would happen to him, why hadn't he stayed with him?

 

“Hello? Mike what the fuck, we need you right now, this isn't the time to waste time with thoughts!” 

 

“Shit–right, yeah, where is he?”

 

“In the bathroom.” Max says quickly as she grabs Mike's arm and drags him running to the bathroom where Will is.

 

When they arrive at the bathroom the door is closed.

 

“I will leave you with him alone, you better take care of him.” With that Max left Mike at the door and Will at the other side of the wall.

 

“Will?” Mike knocks on the door to see if he can get in or at least get an answer from Will, but no one answers back so Mike decides to knock much harder this time hoping that Will this time would open the door.

 

“Will, are you okay? It’s me Mik-” Mike can't finish his sentence because the door bursts open and Will throws himself crying into Mike's arms.

 

“Wha- Will, are you okay? What happened?” Mike was shocked, what the hell happened to make Will look like this?

 

Will wasn’t talking, just sobbing.

 

Mike takes a few steps to go into the bathroom and closes the door gently, then they both sit on the floor in a corner.

 

“It’s okay, Will, I’m here.” Mike doesn't know what happened, but it's surely something bad, and that makes his heart ache really bad.

 

“Mike.” Will murmurs, his voice almost inaudible due to his sobs.

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Home.”

 

Will could barely speak, he seemed... 

 

Drunk

 

Did Will drink while Mike was gone? Mike wanted to ask Will why he should, but he couldn't say it right now, not when he had Will in his arms crying and seeking comfort.

 

“Do you wanna go home?”

 

Will doesn’t respond, just nods.

 

"Okay Will, I'll take you home."

 

Why did Mike feel so bad seeing Will like that?

 

Well, it's normal. Will's been his best friend since he was like five years old. It's normal for him to feel so bad, for his heart to ache, and for him to just want to keep Will to himself, since he would treat him well and would never make him cry like that.

 

Mike and Will came out of the bathroom after Will calmed down a bit. 

 

On their way out, they stumbled upon the entire party, so Mike told everyone that they were leaving.








Mike took Will to the couch of his basement. 

 

They were there for a while until Mike decided to ask about what had happened at the party but Will spoke before Mike could say anything.

 

“Mike,” Will was calmer, he was no longer crying, but his voice was raspy, and dried tears were down his cheeks.

 

“yeah?”

 

Mike can tell that Will is doing everything possible not to cry again.

 

“I miss her everyday.” 

 

When Mike hears that, something breaks inside him. It's true, El is gone, he can't see her smile again, nobody can.

 

“Yeah, me too,” Mike holds back his tears as best he can and hugs Will.

 

When he hugs Will, he feels a warmth, a warmth that only home can give after a long winter day.

 

“everything will be all right.” Mike whispers and wonders if Will heard him but chooses not to repeat it.

 

Mike was going to touch Will's hair but he didn't because somehow it felt wrong to do that.

 

When Will fell asleep, Mike decided to leave Will sleeping on the couch while he grabbed a blanket from when Jonathan and Will slept there and slept on the floor.



⊹⊱ ♫ ⊰⊹





Mike woke up to a phone call the day after the party, apparently it was Max.

 

“Hey,” Max starts. 

 

“Hey.” Mike responds awkwardly.

 

“is Will okay?”

 

“Yeah, he is sleeping right now.” Mike looked at the basement sofa where Will was still sleeping, Mike was smiling looking at Will.

 

“Were you able to speak with him?” 

 

Mike froze at the question. How would I explain to Max that it was Jane?

 

Will missed her, everyone in the party missed her, especially Max and Will, they were the ones who knew her best, not Mike. Mike could never understand her like they did.

 

“Not really, he wasn’t talking that much.” Mike had to lie, he couldn't just blurt that out to Max like that.

 

As much as he “hated” Max, he saw her as a sister he could turn to when he had no one else. She had given him plenty of advice when he didn't know what to do, and he had been there for her during her worst moments.

 

Max used to hang around his house a lot in high school after what happened with Billy, which is why they're closer now and get along better, even though they would never admit that in front of the party.

 

“Oh, okay If you need help with Will, call me, bye.”

 

“Okay, bye.”

 

Max hung the phone first.