Work Text:
SI R&D DEPARTMENT
(Timeframe: Just before Iron Man 3)
AN: So, this weird little plot bunny came from that opening scene in Iron Man 3, the one with the post-it note on the door. I couldn't resist giving that thing a backstory. And so, here we are. It's 4am, I haven't had more than 2 hours of sleep on the last forty eight, so ya'll get...whatever this is. ;) My eyes are starting to glaze over and it's hard to focus, but that's okay, there's not much a good slug of caffeine can't fix. Like Cap says, "I can do this all day!". Or, you know, all night...Sleep is for the weak. ;)
One Man R&D Department
"Tony, why haven't you been into work for, let's see, the last ten days? Do you know how many meetings you've missed? I know you made me CEO, but, seriously, you're still majority share-holder, and as such, chairman of the board. You do, actually have to show up. Occassionally. Like, at least a few times a week!" Pepper had stomped into his workshop, louboutin's clicking on the concrete floor as she came over to him. He was always shocked at how fast she could move in those heels...Not that he minded, oh, no, not a bit...the view, was...Very nice.
It was due to those distracting thoughts that it took a moment for Tony to actually process what she'd been yelling at him about this time.
"Oh, hey Pepper! Hey, check this out, I've got this new prototype for a coffee maker that can completely run itself, it can hook up to an in-home AI, like an Alexa, only better, because THIS ONE--" But before he could finish his greeting, an increasingly irate Pepper cut him off.
"TONY! We are trying to buy out a huge software gaming company in Malaysia, the German branch is having a meltdown again over the random pop-ups that keep making it through on the child-safe browser on the Stark Pads, and I'm fending off the board members who are still not convinced that you're mentally stable! Please, for the love, I NEED YOU TO DO YOUR JOB!"
Cringing slightly as she yelled at him, his teeth tightening even as he looked up at her from under his disheveled fringe, Tony tried to figure out the best way to ease her ire.
He started moving towards her, thinking to pull her in against him, but the bright red flush to her cheeks and the murderous look in her eyes had him second guessing that approach...He liked having all of his limbs still attached. And Pepper knew how to knee sensitive anatomy with the best.
Instead, he actually backed up slightly, until his back hit the edge of his drafting table. Guess that's as far as I go... He thought to himself as he tried to give her his best mega-watt, gala-opening, press-junket smile.
Pepper did not smile back.
"But, Pepper, did you not see my note? I thought I sent an email...Jarvis, did I not send that email, I thought I did," Tony called up to the AI, hoping to extricate himself from his predicament with the help of his trusty computer.
"Sir, you did write up an email, but because you had not slept in seventy-two hours, you fell asleep at the desk before you hit send. When you woke up, you closed the browser tab. You did not indicated that you were finished with the draft, and as such, I have not sent it out," Jarvis responded, the British accent cool, and Tony felt, slightly critical. But critical of his poor sleeping habits or his inefficiency at basic tasks, the inventor wasn't certain.
Looking at Pepper, Tony just said, "Oops." Before plastering on a pitiful look in the hopes that the sympathy vote would break through her irritation.
Seeing that she was still quite angry, and probably about to start yelling at him again, Tony remembered his sign!
"Pepper, look, I forgot the email, but I put up a sign! I made it official, I wrote it down and everything! Come, come, look, it's right here, on the door!" Tony replied, grinning in relief as he pulled her over to the glass door of his workshop.
Pepper opened the door, in order to go to the other side to read the small, yellow, sticky-backed post-it note on the outside of the glass.
"SI R&D Department" was written on it in black sharpie, in Tony's precise engineer copperplate hand.
Pepper felt like her head was going to explode. He actually thinks this is an official statement. How, how does this man operate in the real world... Pepper thought to herself, before realizing...oh, that's right. He doesn't. I do it FOR him...
Pepper brought up a hand to squeeze at the bridge of her nose, eyes tightly shut, even as she breathed in and out to the count of five before she resumed her...conversation? With the apparent head of, and only human employee, of the SI R&D Department.
Tony, looking pleased with himself and his clearly perfectly acceptable business strategy, shoved his hands in his pockets, rocking slightly on the balls of his sneaker-clad feet as he did so.
When Pepper's murderous rage had quieted, somewhat, she quietly asked him, "Tony. A post-it note on the door of your workshop does not MAKE A DEPARTMENT IN A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR COMPANY, AND THE BIGGEST TECH CONGOMERATE IN THE WORLD!" Pepper's color was rising again as she huffed out the last of her statement.
At least having the good grace to look abashed, Tony put his hands up in a placating gesture, still claiming his innocence. "But, Pepper, why not? I'm the owner of the company, so when I sign something, it becomes policy, I don't even really need board approval since I own the majority of the company. I just circumvented the totally useless board meeting and all that paperwork crap. I was efficient! I was exercising Efficiency, Pepper! I got so much more done this way! Come on, can't you see, I did good this time!" Tony was still seemingly oblivious to the error of his...entire statement...
Pepper, exhausted by arguing with a mad man maybe the board is on to something when they think he's deranged..., and just let her shoulders and arms drop, shaking her head with a long-suffering exhale.
"Tony. You can't declare departments with office supplies. There are official channels. I will take care of this. YOU, be at the board meeting tomorrow, two o'clock, WEAR A TIE." And with that, Pepper marched back up the stairs and into her office at the house to work from there.
Turning back to his current workstation creation, Tony whistled to himself as he grinned in triumph. The dumber she thinks I am, the more time I get to spend OUT of my office AND out of meetings! Tony gleefully congratulated himself.
AN: Reviews are bread and butter for a writer, if you enjoyed this, or have criticisms, please take a moment to review. And if you have anything you'd like to see happen in this little universe I'm playing in, let me know! Plot bunnies love to share the toast and jam, too.
- RB