Chapter Text
A weird day... Well, normal considering the absurd situations this trio of ""roommates"" frequently face in their home just outside a family suburb in New Jersey. Living in a completely run-down house lacking most basic amenities had simply become their daily routine—even dragging their neighbor into their everyday madness. But today was unusual for many reasons.
It all started with a very quiet moment: an intriguing question that the youngest member of that dilapidated house asked his "authority figure." This figure was a rather stocky, pale-looking guy with yellowish eyes, white-dyed hair tied back in a pink ponytail, and trademark yellow rubber gloves. He possessed a highly narcissistic, extravagant personality that bordered on absolute insanity.
The two roommates were in the living room, which literally consisted of nothing but a single, large yellow armchair and an old television. The young boy—nicknamed "Meatwad" due to his striking resemblance to a ball of meat—was a chubby, dark-skinned, red-headed kid with a massive, somewhat tangled afro. He approached his companion, who was sitting on the armchair watching TV, and asked with a puzzled look on his face...
Meatwad: Hey Shake... Why do we live here?
Master Shake: Just because...
Shake kept staring at the television.
The boy continued to look at his authority figure with a serious face.
Meatwad: I mean more like our origin. The why and how we ended up living here together. I still don't get it.
Shake stopped watching TV, shutting it off in the process to look at the boy with an uncharacteristic seriousness.
Master Shake: It is time to tell you the absolute truth... Come, sit next to me so I can tell you our origin story.
He gently patted the armchair, indicating where to sit. The boy sat down on the chair...
But immediately after, Shake shoved him onto the floor, wearing a smug, malicious grin as he watched the kid splayed out on the ground.
Master Shake: Well... It all begins at the dawn of time...
Master Shake: ...in ancient Egypt.
Master Shake: Frylock and I come from a dynasty of ancient gods tasked with feeding the first human civilizations with fried food and ice-cold drinks. That was my department.
Master Shake: I loved that job. I had all kinds of luxuries.
Master Shake: Gold, sexy women, exotic animals, and the utmost respect of the Egyptians. I was more powerful than the pharaohs themselves.
Master Shake: It was all luxury and fun... Until Egyptian civilization collapsed.
*A sudden explosion transitions to the next scene*
Master Shake: Frylock and I were mummified and hidden away inside the Great Sphinx for several centuries, until we finally managed to break through part of the structure and escape. Witnessing the massive changes of 20th-century society, we found our home had turned into a massive, consumerist tourist trap crawling with hideous tourists. Tourists so ugly it felt like getting punched in the face by your own mother.
Master Shake: We were doing fine, until we drew people's attention for being the only two semi-naked guys in a world of decency. The most natural reaction, of course, was for them to call the CIA.
Scenes of the CIA surrounding Shake and Frylock with weapons* *
Frylock: This is a mistake! We came to help your civilization by providing food to prevent future world hungers! Why are you violently cornering us?
Random CIA Agent: You destroy the natural order of the world! If you stepped in to save the world, the major food chains would collapse because there'd be no market left to buy anything!
Meatwad: WAIT A MINUTE!!!
He interrupts the story Shake is spinning.
Meatwad: By the time you get to my origin, all I hear is more about you and Frylock being—
Master Shake: DO NOT INTERRUPT YOUR ELDERS WHEN THEY ARE TELLING A STORY!!!...
Master Shake: Understood?
Meatwad makes a slight, sad pout at Shake and ultimately replies:
Meatwad: No.
Master Shake: God, you tire me out, you miserable little midget...
After snapping, Shake looks away and slightly bites his lip with a blank expression.
Master Shake: We found you in a trash can right before the CIA agents showed up. HAPPY?!...
Meatwad: IN THE TRASH!!!
He reacts with total shock.
Master Shake: Yes... yes, you were probably unwanted. But moving back to the story...
Master Shake: Frylock kept trying his foolish tactic of negotiating with the agents. Naturally, it didn't work, and the agents attacked us with their weapons, while we rightfully defended ourselves with our superpowers.
Master Shake: The fight was so epic it would make Quentin Tarantino movies look like films for toddlers.
Master Shake: Everything was going great, until the CIA brought out their heavy artillery...
Another Random CIA Agent: RELEASE THE POODLE!!!
*A mental image of a massive CIA truck releasing a giant French Poodle, while Shake and Frylock watch from afar*
Frylock: It can't be... It's the dog of the prophecy...
Master Shake: This is no time to analyze prophecies!... This is the time to fight that oversized fleabag.
Master Shake: After delivering that line, Frylock fought the dog. He invoked his powerful eye lasers to attack while flying... until Frylock got distracted and died, leaving us alone with that thing—a super-powerful ancient God and a smelly baby against a giant poodle.
Master Shake: I had to use 1% of my power to kill that horrific beast, unleashing my super-powerful milkshake beam. It was basically a supercharged vomit, slightly resembling a Kamehameha, only green, cooler, and more original. Defeating it was a piece of cake, showing it exactly who is number one.
Meatwad: Wait another second... Frylock died?... Then how is he still alive?
He looks up at his authority figure with tearful eyes.
Master Shake: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT INTERRUPTING!!!... I'll get to that part right now. I'm just warning you, there are no more action sequences in this part of the story...
Master Shake: It's more of a slice-of-life mixed with a drama... Understood?
Meatwad’s sad pout instantly turns into a happy face as he looks at Shake.
Meatwad: Yes.
Master Shake: We were left all alone next to the remains of our fallen comrade, until a strange man wearing a very tall hat approached us. I thought he was a threat... but no, it was Abraham Lincoln!
Master Shake: I don't know what he was doing in Egypt, but I know he helped us transport and revive Frylock using the machines he kept outside his farm. At the same time, he let us live on the farm. He gave us lodging, clean and fashionable clothes, delicious food, and awesome video games, all while Frylock was reviving.
Master Shake: When it was finally time to leave, Lincoln gave us two options to reintegrate into human civilization, taking into account that we were CIA fugitives.
Master Shake: The first one was to take on fake identities and live in a low-end New Jersey suburb...
Master Shake: The other option was to live on the moon.
Master Shake: I wanted to go to the moon, but Frylock, being the total killjoy he is, chose the low-end suburbs option.
Master Shake: And that is the super-true, super-origin story of how our association was founded...
The boy stared intently at the man following the narration, while Shake looked back at him with his typical emotionless expression. Deep down, Shake felt proud of spinning such a blatantly fake story that he had just made up on the spot for Meatwad.
The two stared at each other for a few seconds until they finally spoke.
Meatwad: That's so cool. Honestly, I don't have any old memories of that. The most I remember are the awesome video games.
Master Shake: I can still remember that. I remember trying to teach you how to play video games... it was incredibly difficult.
Master Shake: All you did was bite your damn fist and drool all over the freaking controller.
Suddenly, they both heard someone burst through the front door. It was Frylock entering the house. He was a sharp, elegant-looking black man with blonde-dyed hair styled into very bulky, fluffy dreadlocks. He sported a meticulously groomed goatee and a scar over his right eye of mysterious origin.
He had a rather serious, almost somber expression—something highly unusual and rare to see.
Upon seeing him, Meatwad ran to give Frylock a hug, his other, far more responsible authority figure.
The sudden embrace caught Frylock completely off guard. The most he could do was return the hug as the little guy started rambling.
Meatwad: FRYLOCK... IT'S SO GOOD THAT YOU'RE ALIVE!
Those words left Frylock utterly confused and startled.
Frylock: What do you mean, "still alive"?
Meatwad: Shake told me the origin story of why we live here! He told me you guys used to be Gods in ancient Egypt, that I was found in the garbage, that the CIA attacked us and unleashed something called a "dog," and that it killed you, but Abraham Lincoln brought you back to life and now we're CIA fugitives...
Meatwad recounted this with a massive grin on his face, while Frylock stared at him in utter bewilderment after hearing such a typical load of nonsense cooked up by Shake's imagination.
Frylock: You do know that everything Shake told you is fake, right?
Master Shake: Your hair is fake!...
Shake yelled from the background, completely ignored by both Frylock and Meatwad.
Meatwad: I'm still confused about the actual context of why we live together...
He said with a sad expression.
Meatwad: But hell, it's just good that you're alive.
He got excited again and kept hugging him tightly.
Frylock: I'm glad too, just please... don't hug me so tight.
He spoke in his characteristic calm tone, though his face showed visible discomfort.
The boy let go of his roommate. For a moment, the atmosphere in the house seemed normal, but it turned strange again as they noticed the worried look on their companion's face—something both Shake and Meatwad picked up on.
Meatwad: Well... why do you have that worried face?
Frylock: What?... I'm not worried.
Frylock quickly wiped the worried look off his face, snapping back to his usual demeanor, making it obvious he was hiding something.
Master Shake: Dude, it is incredibly obvious that you are masking your anxiety behind your facade of a serious, intellectual man.
He snapped at his companion with a hint of irritation.
Meatwad: You can count on us to tell us, whether it's a minor secret or something illegal...
Meatwad: I hope it's minor.
Frylock looked at his roommates with his typical stern expression, gazing particularly at Meatwad before shifting his eyes toward Shake to address him directly.
Frylock: I'm fine. I'm just going to ask Shake to step into my room so we can talk about something.
Meatwad and Master Shake: WHAT?!
Both were shocked and confused, so much so that Shake bolted up from his yellow armchair.
Meatwad: And why Shake?
Master Shake: And why me?
Frylock: It's a tedious matter to explain. It involves financial things. I just need to discuss it with another adult.
Shake’s look of confusion melted into a smug grin. He glanced over at Meatwad, gloating over the fact that the kid was a minor, which left Meatwad visibly annoyed.
Meatwad: Hey, I can help! I'm big enough for that.
He said crossly, pointing an accusing finger at Frylock.
Frylock looked at him seriously and said:
Frylock: Meatwad, I am serious when I tell you this is a tedious matter that you would have a hard time understanding.
Meatwad glared at Frylock with an angry, tantrum-like face, but eventually cooled down.
Meatwad: Well, I guess you're right.
His expression became entirely deflated after saying that, as though he had completely given up.
The two adults entered Frylock's room—the only orderly and clean space in the entire house. It looked like a normal bedroom, featuring a nice bed, a complete computer setup, and bookshelves packed with literature. It was the perfect room for someone of Frylock’s profile.
They locked the door behind them to privately discuss the current situation that had Frylock so deeply distressed.
Master Shake: Alright, what is it you want to tell me... Did you murder someone?
Frylock: No...
Master Shake: Are you a trans woman and you want to transition?
Frylock: WHAT?... NO...
Master Shake: Well... Well...
He stared at Frylock blankly for a few seconds.
Master Shake: Did you kill someone?
Frylock: THIS ISN'T A FREAKING GAME, SHAKE!
Master Shake: THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ME ALREADY?! I'm not a mind reader, you know!
Frylock: Fine...
Somewhat exhausted, he sat down on his bed to lay out the case.
Frylock: Do you remember the day we went in for a medical checkup to see if we were healthy?
Master Shake: Yeah, I remember. Now I'm condemned to follow that miserable healthy diet without any delicious candy.
Frylock: Well, it turns out they just notified me that I'm in the very early stages of a cancerous tumor that developed in part of my chest.
Shake froze upon hearing the horrible news. His face expressed genuine concern for his companion.
Master Shake: Wait... I wasn't expecting to hear that.
Master Shake: Can it be cured?
Frylock: Yes, there's a solution if we treat it in time. The bad news is that the surgery and treatment are way out of our current budget. I could barely afford the annual rent for this house.
Shake kept staring at his companion with real worry and infinite pity.
Frylock: I was telling Carl about the matter, and he gave me the contact info of a surgeon who charges cheap to perform the operation.
Master Shake: That's great, I really like that guy.
Frylock: Shake, he's an illegal back-alley surgeon. No way in hell am I risking that.
Shake reacted angrily:
Master Shake: Well, then what can we do?! You know money doesn't just grow on trees.
Frylock got up from his bed and walked over to a small bookshelf nearby. On top of the shelf rested a frame containing a bizarre photo of a somewhat younger Frylock standing next to a very strange older man—semi-bald with brown hair, wearing a yellow mask and laughing.
Frylock picked up the frame, displaying a mixture of anguish and discomfort. He turned to Shake while staring at the photo, communicating to his companion in his usual calm voice:
Frylock: I know this is risky for us, but it's our only option.
Shake looked at the photo, his face instantly twisting into absolute disgust.
Master Shake: What?! Ask that disgusting old geezer for money, after what he almost did to us?
Frylock: It's our only option. I still have his number to contact him. He might sponsor me. Just let me reach out to him.
Master Shake: It disturbs me that deep down you have daddy issues with that old man. At least now I understand why you keep a photo of him so affectionately in your room.
Frylock’s face flushed with anger upon hearing Shake's comment.
Frylock: I STILL DEEPLY HATE HIM!!! I will never forgive what he did to us that night.
Frylock: But seeing how things are, asking him for this favor is the only option left. It doesn't matter if he's lost his mind.
Frylock and Shake fell silent for a minute after that argument. Frylock began searching for a notebook filled with phone numbers, while Shake, exhausted, laid down on his companion's bed.
Master Shake: I find it very weird that you don't want to mention your condition or any of this family business to Meatwad.
Master Shake: Honestly, I'm horribly jealous that he has the privilege of knowing absolutely nothing about our progenitor.
Frylock: I don't want to worry him more than necessary. But as for the family business, I will have to tell him when the time is right. You and I both know it's a heavy matter, what happened to our family when Meatwad came into this world.
Frylock: We just have to take it easy.
Back in the living room, Frylock was attempting to call the man's number using the house landline. It kept dialing a wrong number, which was starting to make him angry.
Meatwad watched him from further down the hallway, just peeking out to watch his companion struggle with the phone.
Frylock: Oh, sorry for the trouble...
He hangs up the phone.
Frylock: Dammit... he changed his phone number.
He turns around and notices Meatwad peeking out.
Frylock: What are you doing there?
Meatwad: I'm sick and tired of hiding my feelings about this... What are you doing, and why won't you tell me?
He was still a bit angry, but deep down, he was mostly terrified seeing his companion hiding his problems.
Frylock found himself cornered both by the failed phone call and his companion's recent strike. He had no choice but to give him a brief breakdown of what was going on.
Frylock: Alright, come over here and I'll explain.
He spoke in his characteristically calm voice.
The little boy approached his companion, who placed a hand on the child's shoulder to calm him down.
Frylock: Alright, remember when Shake and I went for that medical checkup? That day we left you at Carl's house.
Meatwad: Yeah, Carl forced me out of his house and kicked me...
Frylock: Right. Well, a little while ago I went to pick up my lab results, and it turned out I'm in the early stage of a cancerous tumor that formed in my chest...
Meatwad froze, shocked and deeply worried by the news.
Meatwad: Oh no...
Meatwad: Did you tell him you didn't have a tumor?
Frylock: Something like that...
Frylock: The good news is there's a cure, and that's cutting it out as soon as possible...
Meatwad: That's great!
Frylock: The bad news is that due to our financial situation, it would be impossible to pay for the surgery and treatments.
Meatwad: Dammit...
Meatwad stared anxiously at the floor for a second, then looked back up at Frylock.
Meatwad: Did you try contacting Carl yet? I remember he mentioned he had a surgeon friend who charged real cheap.
Frylock: I don't want to risk it. A moment ago, I was trying to contact an acquaintance of ours who might be able to help us out financially.
Frylock: Except he apparently changed his phone number, so our only option is to go to his house in person.
Master Shake: Oooooh, no, no, no, no! Don't you even think about doing that!...
Shake came running out of Frylock's room into the living room, joining his two roommates.
Frylock: Weren't you asleep in my room?
Master Shake: I was resting my eyes!...
Master Shake: But as your leader, I forbid us from going to the South Jersey coast to see that crazy old man in person.
Frylock: Shake, it's our only option.
Master Shake: That place is a far-away, boring, depressing excuse for a family home from hell. Only a person like him could live there!
He was furious.
Frylock: We have to do it before it's too late. We just have to endure it as much as we can.
Shake fell silent, staring intently at Frylock. Meatwad looked on, thoroughly confused. Suddenly, Shake turned around dramatically, giving his back to his companions as he launched into a somewhat theatrical monologue.
Master Shake: I know that given the current circumstances, we will have to risk both our physical safety and our psychological sanity...
Master Shake: But we will do whatever it takes to save the life of one of our own!
He struck a bizarre, dramatic pose and pointed his finger toward the sky.
Master Shake: AQUA TEEN FOREVER!!!
He looked incredibly ridiculous doing that. While Meatwad stared at him with admiration and awe, Frylock, on the contrary, glared at him with pure annoyance and secondhand embarrassment.
*The camera pans outside the Aqua Teens' house, showing a bright, sunny summer day*
Frylock: Tomorrow we need to pack our things for the trip. Most likely, we'll have to sleep there.
Frylock: Preferably, bring pillows, blankets, and even a change of clothes...
Meatwad: Can I bring my toys?
Frylock: Yes. Also, bring something to keep ourselves entertained.
TO BE CONTINUED