Work Text:
SOLLUX: eriidan what the actual fuck are you doiing
ERIDAN: wwhat
SOLLUX: look at your2elf
SOLLUX: iit2 embarra22iing two look at you
SOLLUX: are you really that much of a fuckiing bulge-headed freak you re2ort to 2elf-mutiilatiion
SOLLUX: youre probably ju2t doiing thii2 2hiit for the fun of iit god youre like a pro2tiitute runniing around on the 2iide of the road lookiing for 2omeone two do you
ERIDAN: i dont need your pity sol
ERIDAN: youre not evven pityin me
ERIDAN: i dont need your degradation
ERIDAN: if youre gonna be a bitch then go awway
ERIDAN: i cant handle your absolute bullshit right noww
SOLLUX: jegu2 and then what
SOLLUX: youre ju2t gonna make even more of a me22?
ERIDAN: wwhat do you mean a mess
SOLLUX: do you 2ee your 2kiin a22hat
ERIDAN: obvviously
ERIDAN: that isnt your fuckin problem sol
ERIDAN: wwhy dont you just leavve me be
SOLLUX: dont keep doiing thii2 2hiit
ERIDAN: wwhy not
SOLLUX: what do you expect to happen after to do iit
SOLLUX: plea2ure? 2ome 2en2e of 2elf-acceptance?
SOLLUX: iit2 not worth iit
ERIDAN: stop actin like you care so fuckin much
ERIDAN: i hate your guts sol and i wwould personally rip them out of your mustard blood fueled sack of flesh
SOLLUX: ii know
SOLLUX: iitll 2tay that way
SOLLUX: iit2 ju2t pathetiic seeiing you re2ort to doiing 2uch 2tupiid thiing2 to your2elf
SOLLUX: we all know you fuckiing 2uck but you really diidnt need to go that far
SOLLUX: ju2t clean your2elf up and then make 2ure you 2hut the fuck up eriidan
ERIDAN: think for fivve fuckin seconds
ERIDAN: wwhy in my right mind wwould i listen to your sorry ass
ERIDAN: i knoww you dont actually give twwo shits wwhether or not i rip into my skin
ERIDAN: just get out
SOLLUX: no
ERIDAN: wwhat do you mean no
ERIDAN: i dont need your half assed pity
ERIDAN: i wwouldnt even take this sorry fake sympathy from a highblood
ERIDAN: you don't mean a single thing youvve said
SOLLUX: and how do you know that
ERIDAN: because wwe hate eachother
ERIDAN: and i knoww you wwouldnt givve me the time of day
ERIDAN: wwhy wwaste your time
ERIDAN: is it for the small fuckin chance ill wweep to you about my ovvercomplicated issues so then you can go laugh to fef about evverything ivve said
SOLLUX: no
SOLLUX: ii really couldnt care le22 eriidan
SOLLUX: ii ju2t thiink iit2 2tupiid that you choo2e two do that of all thiing2
ERIDAN: shut up
SOLLUX: now why would ii lii2ten to you
SOLLUX: ciircular rea2oniing my a22
ERIDAN: noww wwhat the fuck do you mean by that
SOLLUX: you 2ay you wont lii2ten to me, then get mad when ii dont lii2ten to you
SOLLUX: al2o holy 2hiit dude do you really have to 2wear so exce22ively
ERIDAN: sol can you just leavve me alone
ERIDAN: i dont need you to stay here and make fun of me
ERIDAN: pain in the ass fuckin bitch
SOLLUX: lii2ten two your2elf.
SOLLUX: jegu2, are you really that up2et that youre dii2regardiing beiing appropriiate
ERIDAN: you curse all the time
SOLLUX: well yeah when ii do iit iits fuckiing awesome.
SOLLUX: you ju2t 2ound liike a wiiggler who just found out that 2wears exii2t
ERIDAN: im not in the mood to constantly regulate my speech
ERIDAN: sorry that your sensitivve ears havve to hear me curse
ERIDAN: i dont need to accommodate for such a dick like you
ERIDAN: im a highblood i wwont listen to you
SOLLUX: the hemo2pectrum doe2nt even matter anymore dude
SOLLUX: were ba2iically iin the group of the only troll2 left
SOLLUX: you dont need to care about the 2tupiid fuckiing hiierarchy
ERIDAN: its the only thing i havve left
ERIDAN: im a highblood
ERIDAN: im naturally supposed to cull and lead shitheaded lowwbloods like you
SOLLUX: you talk so hiighly of your2elf but then you do 2tuff liike thii2
SOLLUX: look at you.
SOLLUX: and look at your 2kiin.
ERIDAN: stop
SOLLUX: what
ERIDAN: stop talkin about my flesh
ERIDAN: if youre here to humiliate me then you did your job
SOLLUX: fuck ye2
ERIDAN: thanks a lot asswwipe
SOLLUX: dont do that 2hiit to your 2kiin, eriidan
ERIDAN: you havve showwed nothin but hatred towwards me for the time wwe havve knowwn eachother
ERIDAN: dont act like everything is normal betwween us
SOLLUX: ...
ERIDAN: wwhats wwrong
ERIDAN: youre actin like you havve black feelins for me
ERIDAN: is that it
SOLLUX: of cour2e not
SOLLUX: but even ii know 2la2hiing your wrii2t2 ii2nt the be2t thiing to do
ERIDAN: fuck off
SOLLUX: you havent triied to pu2h me away.
ERIDAN: sol
SOLLUX: well iim not wrong
SOLLUX: iif ii bandage thii2 up wiill you 2hut up
ERIDAN: wwill you nevver mention this again
SOLLUX: fiine
SOLLUX: ii wouldnt even want two
SOLLUX: ii hardly care whether or not you do thii2
SOLLUX: iit2 ju2t objectiively a 2tupiid thiing two do.
ERIDAN: you wwouldnt evven knoww if i did it again
ERIDAN: did you think of that
SOLLUX: oh 2hut up
SOLLUX: youre the one who ha2 black feeliings for me
SOLLUX: you keep tryiing to duel me
SOLLUX: and now youre haviing me "comfort" you wiith your iidiiotiic choiice2
ERIDAN: im not makin you do anyfin
SOLLUX: oh eh heh. a fii2h pun.
SOLLUX: ju2t 2hut up and let me cover your 2car2.
ERIDAN: thats wweirdly intimate
ERIDAN: you sure you arent interested in me as a kismesis
SOLLUX: why would ii be.
SOLLUX: youre humiiliiatiing, 2een here
SOLLUX: youre 2elf-de2tructiive, al2o 2een here.
SOLLUX: and youre a power hungry lunatiic
SOLLUX: miight a2 well call you a lunadiick the way youre so de2perate
ERIDAN: wwhy couldnt you havve just wwent awway wwhen i told you to.
Sollux gently yet rudely applies bandages onto Eridan's skin. Not making eye-contact as he grips into Eridan's arm, causing blood to stick to his fingers.
ERIDAN: could you be any less aggressivve
SOLLUX: ye2. but ii wont be.
ERIDAN: fuck you
ERIDAN: mustard covvered punkass
SOLLUX: be greatful.
ERIDAN: ...
SOLLUX: ...
ERIDAN: you dont need to do this
SOLLUX: yeah well ii am now
ERIDAN: i told you not to
SOLLUX: womp womp.
ERIDAN: dont fuckin reply wwith 'wwomp wwomp'
SOLLUX: youre 2iimultaneou2ly 2o 2ensiitiive and 2o denotatiive at the 2ame tiime
ERIDAN: do you havve to be so rude all the time
ERIDAN: stuck up evven
SOLLUX: that2 ju2t how you see me
SOLLUX: now agaiin, 2hut up.
SOLLUX: dont you know the priimary le22on
SOLLUX: iif you dont have anythiing niice to 2ay dont 2ay iit
ERIDAN: you dont evven stay quiet
ERIDAN: especially wwhen you havve somefin rude to say
SOLLUX: yeah well can ii not be a hypocriite
SOLLUX: 2orry iim not piicture perfect
ERIDAN: ...
ERIDAN: i didnt need you to clean me up
ERIDAN: i couldvve done it myself
SOLLUX: you wouldnt have 2topped iif ii diidnt come along
ERIDAN: wwell i didnt wwant to
SOLLUX: that2 two bad, nooksniiffer
ERIDAN: you sound like kar wwhen you say that
SOLLUX: 2hiit youre riight
SOLLUX: at lea2t youre good for 2omethiing
ERIDAN: youvve only made me feel wworse
SOLLUX: iim not here two get you to feel better
ERIDAN: wwhat are you here for
ERIDAN: to be a massivve dick?
SOLLUX: ii mean probably ye2 techniically
SOLLUX: you keep drawiing away from what ii keep 2ayiing
SOLLUX: becau2e youre a wiimp.
ERIDAN: im not a fuckin wwimp
ERIDAN: i just dont havve to listen to you
ERIDAN: wwhy should i listen to the guy wwho hates my guts
SOLLUX: becau2e youre gonna
ERIDAN: wwhat does that evven mean?
SOLLUX: what ii want iit to mean
SOLLUX: iil say iit one more tiime before ii rip your throat out
ERIDAN: wwhat?
SOLLUX: 2tay quiet.
ERIDAN: no
ERIDAN: you keep actin like i am gonna listen to you
Sollux backs his hands away from Eridan, revealing that he fully bandaged his arms. He looks at Eridan in the eyes scournfully.
SOLLUX: youre welcome a22hat
ERIDAN: i didnt need you to do that
ERIDAN: i dont havve to thank you for doin somethin so trivvial as bandagin my arms
SOLLUX: yeah well ii want an apology
SOLLUX: the clock ii2 tiickiing eriidan
SOLLUX: kii22 up to my a22.
ERIDAN: eww
ERIDAN: dont phrase it like that
SOLLUX: two bad
ERIDAN: thanks i fuckin guess
ERIDAN: dirty ass mustard blooded bulge stopper
SOLLUX: you iin2ult liike kk ju2t wiithout the enraged voiice
ERIDAN: i dont care
SOLLUX: ii 2houldnt have even helped you iin the fiir2t place
SOLLUX: youre an unappreciiatiive diip2hiit who2 got hii2 bulge twii2ted between his leg2
ERIDAN: oh wwhatevver