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They weren't dating, they weren't boyfriends; they just made out a lot… like, a lot. It was like a friendship with benefits, although Regulus would kill James if he heard him say that; they weren't even friends to begin with.
They met almost every night at the astronomy tower. This time, James was running late… Regulus was going to kill him.
“Do you think he loves me?” Sirius asked.
Sirius—his best friend, and the reason he was going to be late.
Sirius sometimes went to James' bed and talked to him about almost everything; today wasn't an exception. It was nearly midnight (Regulus and James would normally meet half an hour before midnight) and Sirius had crawled into James' bed and started talking about how much he loved Remus and if he'd ever be loved back.
The answer was yes.
Of course Remus liked him back. James knew because he read it in his diary. In James' defense, Remus should know he shared a room with really nosy friends and think twice before leaving his diary on his bedside table. However, anyone with eyes knew Remus loved Sirius back (everyone except Sirius, apparently).
James couldn't tell Sirius about this, of course. It wasn't his secret to tell.
“You're very lovable,” James responded, nervously looking at his wrist, where his watch was ticking furiously, as if telling him to hurry up.
“Yeah, but does Moony love me?” Sirius asked again, exasperated.
“And you think I know?” He did. “Go ask him if it bothers you so much.”
Sirius looked at James like he was stupid and sighed.
“You don't get it,” Sirius said, letting his head drop on the pillow next to James' head. “You haven't fancied anyone besides Lily, and you weren't very discreet about it. You don't know how it is to love someone in silence and just hope…”
James smiled sadly. He did know what it was like; he was falling for someone, but Sirius couldn't know. He would go bonkers if he found out James fancied his ‘baby brother’.
“Ok…” James chose to say. “Then why don't you ask Peter for advice? He’s fancied a lot of people.” He didn't want to be mean, but his watch was ticking and he desperately needed an escape plan; otherwise, Regulus would hex him till next Friday. And besides being scared of Regulus being angry, James really did want to go see him.
Sirius gave him another look. “No,” he simply answered, as if it was obvious and what James had suggested was ridiculous. “What's up your ass anyway?”
“Huh?” James said, busy anxiously looking at the time. Unlucky for him, Sirius saw right through him.
“Wait,” Sirius sat up and looked at James, trying to decipher the look on his face through his wand's light. “Do you have somewhere to be?” he asked. James knew he was smiling mockingly.
“Hm? I—no,” James stuttered.
One thing about him: he couldn't lie if his life depended on it when asked something so directly.
“Prongs!” Sirius whispered. “Why didn't you tell me? Who is it?” he asked, then continued talking, not waiting for James to answer (although James wouldn't have answered anyway). “Wait, don't tell me. Is it Evans? Did you go back to asking Lily out? No way she said yes.”
James took a big breath. He had stopped liking Lily since third year; Sirius was delusional (and annoying).
Thunk.
Sirius stopped mumbling and shot his head up.
Something heavy had hit the room's window from outside.
James opened his bed's curtains and got up to see what had caused the noise, Sirius following close behind.
A snitch.
A real golden snitch was flying outside their dormitory, occasionally hitting the window loudly. James opened the window and caught the snitch in a swift move. He wasn't a Seeker, although he played a decent one; he was Gryffindor's best Chaser.
“Who…?” Sirius whispered behind James, startling him.
James turned the snitch in his hands. Three letters were carved on its surface:
R.A.B.
James quickly closed his hands around the snitch before Sirius could have a chance to read it and turned to look at his best friend.
“See you when I see you,” James said and sprinted off. Regulus was really going to kill him.
If Sirius thought anything about what had happened, he never mentioned it. He just looked doubtful at the snitch every time he saw James playing with it.
—
Sirius had finally asked Remus out, which was great, but it did not stop Sirius' weekly annoying James. Now, instead of ‘I wish he loved me,’ it was ‘We made out for like 10 minutes—’, but he was happy for them.
As for James, he hadn't had the same luck. He still met with Regulus almost every night, but they weren't dating. James didn't even know if Regulus liked him back or not; it was complicated.
Their ‘relationship’ had grown a bit; instead of always meeting at the astronomy tower, James would sometimes go to the Slytherin common room and visit Regulus' dormitory.
Regulus' friends were surprisingly calm about James randomly appearing and disappearing behind Regulus' bed curtains. They were really kind, actually; one time James even spent a night just talking with Reg and his friends.
James was going once again to the Slytherin common room. This time, it was easy to slip out of his dorm unnoticed. Remus and Sirius were making out somewhere in the castle, so it was only Peter he had to avoid. Peter slept through everything; it was nearly impossible to wake that boy up, so James had no trouble escaping.
The trouble caught up with him later.
James was in the dungeons now, very close to the Slytherin statue that served as an entrance to its common room. He took off his invisibility cloak; since he was so close, he wouldn't need it, as there were no teachers around. Walking past a marble statue of a knight, he caught sight of Sirius and Remus making out against a wall. They seemed to be hiding behind the knight to avoid being noticed by passing professors.
“Prongs!” Remus gasped, looking embarrassed at being caught.
Sirius turned and his face lit up when he saw his best friend. “Prongs!” he exclaimed, smiling and not looking ashamed at all. “What are you doing here?”
Realization made its way to Remus' face. Of course he knew; Remus was a prefect, which meant he knew where every house's common room was. It also meant he sometimes had rounds late after curfew. Needless to say, it led to Remus finding James and Regulus in the Astronomy tower.
James tried to remain calm, “Oh, I was… walking around” he did not remain calm.
“Walking around?” Sirius asked, his tone skeptical.
“You mean to find us? No need to worry, Prongs, we were heading back anyway,” Remus said. James could kiss him, if Remus didn't have a boyfriend and James wasn't trying to get with the brother of said boyfriend.
Sirius just shot Remus a questioning look but didn't say anything and let himself be led back by his boyfriend.
As they passed, James mouthed “thank you” to Remus; he really owed him now.
James waited until he couldn't hear his friends' steps to head toward the Slytherin entrance. He thanked Godric that Sirius didn't know the Slytherin common room was in the dungeons.
—
A few weeks had passed since then, and now James could proudly say he was Regulus' boyfriend. Although not really… Neither he nor Regulus were ready to tell their friends yet.
That didn't stop them from wanting to go on a date. They had planned it perfectly to be this Saturday's Hogsmeade trip. Regulus' friends had decided to stay at the library to study for an upcoming exam, to which Regulus excused himself, saying he'd already studied and wanted to buy a new book from Hogsmeade. James' friends were fast asleep. Last night had been a full moon, and they were all exhausted from running around, werewolves or animagus.
James was also tired, but he asked Madam Pomfrey for a wideye potion and downed a very strong cup of coffee for breakfast. It was worth it if it meant he could spend a day with Regulus. They both exited Hogwarts separately so they wouldn't be seen together and then agreed to meet near the ‘Shrieking Shack’. James tried not to think about what that place really was.
“Potter,” he was greeted by a short, dark-haired, and snarky-looking Slytherin.
“Reggie,” James greeted back.
“Don't call me that.”
“So don't call me Potter; it's James, love.” He received an eye roll from Regulus, and then a soft peck on the lips. James looked at his boyfriend with a surprised look on his face, then quickly changed it to a smile and put his hand around Regulus' hip. Regulus didn't normally show affection in public; he was more reserved, so James greatly appreciated the moments in which he did.
“Is there anywhere you want to go before the Three Broomsticks?” James asked, knowing Regulus would likely want to get something for himself.
“Well, I might as well live up to my lie and get a new book, since it would be weird if I went back without one,” Regulus reasoned, dragging James to the nearest bookshop.
James smiled and followed. “I think you just wanted to get a book and are using your lie as an excuse,” he said.
“And what if I am?” Regulus questioned, smiling.
“Nerd,” they both laughed lightly.
They made their way to a bookshop, and Regulus went through ten different books until he found one he liked. James paid, ignoring Regulus' protest, and they headed to the Three Broomsticks.
“Are you sure?” Regulus asked, getting anxious. James knew he was thinking of the possibility that someone would see them and the word would reach his parents.
“No one looks besides their table unless it's someone making a fuss. And we can sit at a table that's far in the corner,” James said in a soothing voice to calm Regulus' nerves.
It worked; Regulus was now entering the place silently, his hand clasped firmly with James'.
As promised, they sat down at a well-hidden table that was far in a corner. They ordered their butterbeers and drank as they talked and stole loving glances at each other.
Their beers were empty, and it was getting windy outside. James could tell by how the trees moved and how people's cloaks went with the wind. So James went to pay, ignoring once again Regulus' protest.
“Reggie, love, it was my idea to go on a Hogsmeade date. Which means it's my invite, so I'm paying,” James reasoned when they were both heading back to Hogwarts. Regulus, angrily (not really), had whined since they had left the Three Broomsticks, saying he had the money and didn't need things bought for him.
They were both interrupted from their playful bickering. “James?”
Great.
James could feel Regulus go stiff beside him and quickly snatch his hand away. James turned to look at Sirius, whose expression he couldn't decipher.
“Padfoot! I thought you were going to sleep in today,” James said nervously, doing his best to smile and look calm.
Sirius looked at James, then shot a quick look at Regulus. “Moony and I thought we could go to Zonko's; we’re out of dungbombs.”
“Oh, that's uhm… great,” James responded. Everything about that conversation was uncomfortable and needed to end.
“Why are you with him?” Sirius snapped. Apparently, he'd grown tired of the uncomfortable talking and decided to go straight to the point.
“You mean Reggi—Regulus?” James was going to mess this up, even Remus was giving James a sorry look.
“Why are you with him?” Sirius repeated, his face turning more and more angry as time passed.
“Sirius…” James sighed, ready to give up and tell him everything.
Regulus stepped in front of James and looked at Sirius. “It's none of your business,” he said, his tone annoyed. “But if you're so interested in knowing: Professor Slughorn reached out to me so I could tutor Potter, since I'm a lot better than him, even though I'm a year younger. We decided to meet up in the Three Broomsticks to agree on how the tutoring would work.”
Sirius gave his brother a furious look but didn't say anything. He grabbed Remus by the arm and dragged him away angrily.
James sighed, relieved.
Regulus scoffed and started walking away, back to Hogwarts. James ran behind to catch him.
“Reg! I'm sorry,” he said, out of breath when he finally caught up with Regulus, who didn't stop to listen. James grabbed him by the arm.
“Let go—!” Reg shouted angrily, but James interrupted him, resting one hand on his cheek.
“No! Listen to me. I had fun, today was great and I'd love to keep having dates like this. What Sirius says or might think means nothing to me, to us.” James said, he desperately needed his boyfriend to understand.
And he did. Regulus silently gaped at James as his eyes filled with love, a love only James could read. Regulus nodded his head.
“Thank you,” he whispered, giving James a quick kiss.
They both walked to the castle together, and James held Regulus' hand all the way back.
—
They didn't go on another Hogsmeade date, but they asked Professor Slughorn if Regulus could give James potions lessons, otherwise Sirius would know it was a lie. So now they hung out a lot more frequently with the excuse of tutoring.
And after a long talk at one of their lessons, they both decided they could start telling their friends about them dating. Regulus told his dormmates; they weren't surprised, but they did corner James after one of his quidditch practices to tell him he should treat Regulus like a prince, otherwise, they would snap every single one of his bones.
“I just want to make sure you don't hurt him, don't worry, Jamie,” Barty Crouch, Regulus' best friend, said with a smile that could mean a lot of things.
James didn't know who to tell. Sirius had shown to not be very understanding at the thought of James hanging with Regulus as a friend, so James decided it wasn't time to tell Sirius yet. Which meant he couldn't tell Remus, since he hated keeping secrets from Sirius. There was also Peter, but James knew better; Pete had the tendency to shout random secrets when drunk, so that was not an option.
This left James with a weight on his shoulders he didn't want. He did want to tell someone, there just wasn't anyone he could tell.
“James! Snap out of it!” James received a book thrown at his head.
“Ow, sorry…” James mumbled, rubbing his head with his hand.
Lily Evans was looking at him from across the table they were sharing at the library. She had a book about potions open in front of her.
“I still don't get why you asked me to help you with our potions exam,” Lily claimed, giving James a questioning gaze.
“Because… I need help so I don't fail?” James answered, not knowing what Lily was going with this.
“So, what you're telling me is,” Lily started, with a tone that made James sit up straight, “you’re having almost daily tutoring sessions with Regulus and you've learned nothing?”
James froze. He knew Lily was smart and would end up figuring it out anyway, so he took a deep breath before responding.
“I have to tell you something,” he said slowly, looking cautiously at Lily, who nodded in encouragement. “I haven't been learning in those potions lessons because…” he took another shaky breath, “I'm dating Regulus and we're using the tutoring as an excuse to hang out.”
There it was. He said it. It was the first time he admitted it to someone, and he felt a whole lot lighter.
“Ugh,” James lost his breath thanks to the bear hug he got from Lily.
“Thanks for telling me,” she whispered.
James smiled, feeling his eyes go watery. Then he heard a wolf-whistle.
“Well, I was hoping Prongs would help me with a prank, but seeing he's busy…” it was Sirius. He was raising his eyebrows suggestively at James and Lily as they both broke their hug.
“It's not like that—” James had begun to protest, but Lily started laughing.
“We could not be together, we don't swing each other's ways,” she said between giggles.
Sirius' teasing smile dropped for a second. James panicked.
“She means we don't function ‘cause we aren't each other's type… I'm into louder people, and Lily likes quiet; we don't go well together,” James explained in a rush, giving Lily a pointed look so she would go with it.
He would've found it funny if he hadn't been scared and nervous. James was definitely not into louder people; Regulus was as quiet as one could get, and Lily was not into quiet people. James remembered when Lily drunkenly admitted to him how much she wanted to kiss Mary Macdonald's lips.
Lily's face shifted to surprise and her mouth slightly opened, then, seeming to gather her composure again, she closed it and nodded along with what James had said.
“Yeah, James is so not my type, sorry.”
Sirius gave them an awkward smile, clearly thinking James had just been rejected, and excused himself, mumbling something about asking Moony for help with the prank.
“Ow! Lily, you've got to stop hitting people with books!” James shouted. Lily had thrown yet again a book at his head.
“Sirius doesn't know?” she asked incredulously. James shrugged, which made Lily scold him angrily, “He's his brother! How can you not tell him? Besides, he's gay, he won't judge you for liking a boy if that's what you're worried about. And if anything, if there was anyone Sirius would want his little brother to be with, what's better than his own best friend?”
“I'll tell him, soon,” James lied, his heart threatening to burst out. It had been a close one; Sirius had almost found out this time.
—
Regulus and James were three months into dating and Regulus' friends, Lily, Mary, and Remus knew about them. Lily (with James' approval) told Mary and James was confronted by Remus; he'd known they were a thing since he had caught them in his prefect rounds, but he had to know if it was official, and he'd sensed James being more energetic and he'd wanted to know if it had anything to do with said short Slytherin (it did).
James still hadn't told Sirius, much to Lily's angry rants about it. Every time James feels like he could tell him he sees the looks Sirius sends Regulus when he sees him in the corridors and loses all bravery.
Since they weren't trying to constantly hide anymore (besides from Sirius) they weren't as scared to hang out. They sat under a tree near the lake; far from everyone but still noticeable, they also playfully bumped into each other in the hallways; sometimes stopping each other to talk, and they looked and smiled at each other more. They were generally more open to hanging out.
A few days ago James had the idea to invite Regulus to his dorm since Regulus had been doing the same. This was more complicated of course, with Sirius being one of James' dormmates, but they were willing to take the risk.
It had worked the first three times, Sirius had been going to parties, sleeping in the common room, or sleeping in their room but not caring to bother James at all (he'd thanked Remus for that).
Luck was on their side, so they decided to risk it a fourth time.
"That’s the game! Gryffindor caught the Snitch!"
James could hear all the screams as Remus announced their victory on the megaphone. He looked around, searching for Regulus.
Regulus had landed and jumped off his broom; he had been so close to catching the snitch… James quickly replaced his sad smile with a cheering one. He had just won; he couldn't be seen sad just because his boyfriend didn't win.
James was still staring at Regulus when he caught a glimpse of Regulus winking at him. That was a code—it meant he wanted to meet up.
James smirked and skipped happily toward where the rest of his team were celebrating.
"Party at the Gryffindor Tower! All the winners are invited!" Sirius screamed. He was grinning from ear to ear, Remus admiring him.
The Gryffindor crowd screamed happily and chanted as they headed to have a party that would most likely leave everyone with a headache the next morning. James didn't follow them; he silently stayed back and eyed Regulus from afar.
James made a show of coughing and walking toward the Gryffindor changing rooms.
"You really are a bad liar," Regulus commented as he entered the room a minute after James did.
James smiled at his entrance and quickly went to hold him by the hips. "I know," he answered sweetly.
Regulus rolled his eyes and gave his boyfriend a peck on the lips.
"Congrats on winning," he whispered as he kept giving James little pecks.
“Hmm,” was all James could mutter, too distracted to say anything else.
Regulus smiled and stopped what he was doing, ignoring James' whine. “You should go to the party; it'll be weird that the James Potter isn't celebrating Gryffindor’s victory.”
“I don't care, I'll say I had detention or something,” James protested, making a fake pout that managed to get a chuckle out of his boyfriend. Then, James had an idea. “Or, we could both go to the Gryffindor Tower.”
Regulus had a skeptical look on his face, clearly not liking the proposed idea.
"To my room," James clarified quickly.
"That doesn't make it any better," Regulus pointed out, raising his eyebrows in a doubtful expression. "Everyone is going to be awake; it's impossible for me to secretly get in."
James smiled. He was going to do everything to convince Regulus. Whenever James set his mind on something, he had to achieve it (and he always did). "Which is why everyone is going to be distracted, so it'll be perfect!"
Regulus glared at his boyfriend. He didn't think it was a good idea, but he also really wanted to spend more time with James, especially if it included cuddling on his bed. "Whatever, but I need your Invisibility Cloak," Regulus finally agreed, defeated.
James beamed, and they both walked together toward the Gryffindor Tower.
"David Bowie," James told the Fat Lady, giving the passcode to get in. "Remus chooses Gryffindor’s passcodes; he's a prefect," he added, responding to Regulus' questioning look at the name he had just pronounced.
"I'll be right back with the cloak. Wait here for me," James told Regulus, then disappeared through the Fat Lady's portrait entrance.
James wasn't gone for long; he quickly returned with the cloak in hand. Regulus put it on and turned invisible, then entered the common room and slowly made his way to the stairs that led up to the boys' rooms.
"Regulus?" James asked nowhere in particular, since he didn't know where his boyfriend was under the Invisibility Cloak.
"James." Regulus responded from behind, startling him.
“Cheeky fuck,” James huffed, laughing quietly and turning around to meet Regulus with a sweet kiss. His hand rested on Regulus' waist as the other boy's hand caressed his hair.
“James, have you seen—?” Sirius stood there in place, his expression filled with questions.
James thanked Godric for his quick reaction skills. As soon as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, he pushed Regulus to his bed and shut the curtains with his wand.
But, of course, he met with an obstacle: his hair looked messier than usual (which was very messy), his Quidditch shirt was a bit lifted, he could feel his face flushed and his lips swollen; they were likely red. He just generally looked like he was making out with someone (which was true, but Sirius wasn’t supposed to know).
Sirius didn't move for a total of ten painfully silent seconds, although James wished he had stayed like that for longer.
“Wait…”
James sighed. “Sirius—”
Sirius started jumping up and down. “Who is it? Do I know her? It can't be Lily because I just saw her downstairs. Are you cheating on her?”
“I stopped liking Lily years ago! And we're not dating!” James huffed, annoyed. Sirius didn’t look like he heard him; he just kept bouncing around and saying things like, “Why didn’t I know?”
Sirius went still all of a sudden, analyzing what he had just said. “James...?” he asked, looking at his best friend. His face had dropped. “Why don’t I know?”
“Sirius, I can't tell you who it is,” James replied sadly, hating to see his best friend sad, even more so if he caused that sadness.
Sirius bit his lip in frustration. “I'm your best friend; when have you ever kept a secret like this from me?” he protested.
“I can't tell you because...” James’ head was turning furiously, trying to make up a lie to get Sirius off his shoulders. “Because it's a one-night thing, it's not that I'm dating her.” James felt a pressure on his chest as he said that and promised himself to apologize to Regulus later. Even though they both knew he was making things up, it still felt wrong.
Sirius looked shocked. “YOU?!” He suddenly shouted. “James Fleamont Potter, you're telling me you are having a one-night stand? As in, you're not love-sick, obsessing over her?” he asked incredulously.
James flushed red with embarrassment. It really was out of character for him to have a one-night stand. He was too romantic to have that and not fall in love. “Well, you don't have to say it like that. She's right there,” James told Sirius, eyeing his bed with the closed curtains.
Sirius smirked and patted James on the back. “I'm proud of you. I'll tell Wormtail and Moony to leave you alone for a couple of hours,” he said, giving a very exaggerated wink toward James before exiting the room while laughing.
James stood still and listened quietly until Sirius’ steps could no longer be heard.
“So you’re not love-sick and obsessing over me?”
James groaned and turned to look at Regulus, who had emerged from his bed; his head peaking from the bed curtains James had frantically closed shut with a flick of his wand, a playful smile on his face.
“Shut up, Sirius is too nosey for his own good” James said, trying to sound annoyed but failing as he heard Regulus laugh.
James laughed too, softly this time, and pulled Regulus back toward the bed.
“What?” Regulus asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Nothing,” James murmured. “I just like hearing you laugh.”
Regulus rolled his eyes, though James could see the faint pink tint rising to his cheeks.
They settled against the pillows, hidden behind James’ bed curtains while the distant noise of the Gryffindor party echoed through the tower. Someone downstairs screamed after losing what sounded like a very intense game of exploding snap.
James wrapped an arm around Regulus’ waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. Regulus absentmindedly played with the sleeve of James’ quidditch jumper.
“You know,” James started quietly, “one day we’re going to tell him.”
Regulus went still for barely a second, but James noticed.
“Sirius,” James clarified gently.
Regulus hummed in acknowledgment but didn’t answer.
James frowned slightly. “Reg?”
“It’s fine,” Regulus said quickly.
Which, to James, sounded very much like it was not fine at all.
James shifted so he could look at him properly. “Hey,” he said softly. “You know he’ll come around eventually, right?”
Regulus looked away and James felt something twist uncomfortably in his chest. They had only talked about telling Sirius in passing, it was never a conversation they deep dived into, and James was starting to regret not having this conversation sooner.
Regulus dreaded the moment he would have to tell his brother about his relationship with James. He was not ready; there were so many things that could and would go wrong. He really didn’t want Sirius to find out, not because he was afraid of him yelling — Regulus knew yelling. Living at The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black did that to you. His fear was that he didn’t want Sirius to protect James over him, he didn’t want to hear him say Regulus wasn’t what James deserved (because it’s true, he deserves so much more than him), he didn’t want to see him take James’ side if they ever fought, and he didn’t want Sirius to make James choose between them (because when James inevitably chose Sirius, Regulus wouldn’t know what to do with himself).
The silence had stretched for far too long, and James had always been an uneasy kid.
“Reg?” he whispered softly, shifting in his bed and resting a hand in Regulus’ hair, tugging it gently to get him to turn around and face him again. At the lack of response, James made a split decision and sat up, sitting cross-legged at the end of his bed, and yanked his boyfriend by his feet.
“What the fuck, James?” Regulus exclaimed as he was forced out of the blankets to sit facing his boyfriend.
“Right,” James said, talking to himself as he reached to grip his boyfriend’s hand, and nodded to himself in silent affirmation, “right,” he repeated. “Well, we are going to talk about this, because clearly there’s something bothering you about the thought of telling your brother about us, and as we both know, I’m very dense, so I’d rather you tell me what is on your mind before I assume something incorrectly.”
Regulus stared at him for a few seconds, then lowered his gaze to look down at their intertwined hands.
“You won’t assume incorrectly,” Regulus said quietly, not used to nor ready to talk so openly about his feelings.
“That doesn’t sound reassuring.”
Regulus let out a slow breath through his nose, clearly annoyed at himself for even entertaining this conversation. He looked like he was considering getting up and leaving, which made James harden his grip on his hand. “It’s not that I think Sirius would hex me or scream at me or whatever dramatic thing your Gryffindor brain came up with.”
James looked at Regulus; he had read him like a book. That was what he was thinking about. It was the logical option, what else would Reg care about? The natural reaction from Sirius would be to try to hex James for being with his little brother and then start shouting at them for being traitors, or something along those dramatic lines. After a few seconds of silence, James wasn’t able to come up with another idea and looked puzzled.
“It’s just…” Regulus started before stopping himself.
James waited patiently, starting to caress his boyfriend's hand encouragingly.
Regulus swallowed. “Sirius likes you more than he likes me.”
James frowned immediately and was quick to argue. “That’s not true.”
“It is,” Regulus replied, in a tone that meant there was no room for debate, and with a shrug that looked far too practiced. James frowned, not liking his reaction at all. “He chose you. Remus. Peter. Gryffindor. He left and found a new family, and I-” He cut himself off sharply.
James’ grip around his hand tightened; he had caught up with what he was trying to say. Was that what bothered him? James was known as the kindest heart out there, but sometimes he truly felt like knocking on Walburga Black’s door and punching her for what she did to her children. And the punch would only serve as satisfaction, because it wasn’t near what she deserved.
“You were fourteen,” James said softly, putting his violent thoughts away into the back of his mind.
Regulus blinked, still looking at their hands, following James’ finger that caressed patterns into his own with his eyes. “Doesn’t change the fact that he left.”
James didn’t answer immediately, and Regulus could practically hear him thinking too hard about what to say.
“You know,” James started carefully, “Sirius talks about you all the time.”
Regulus snorted. “Usually insults, I assume.”
“No, actually.” James shifted closer on the bed, whispering as if it was a dangerous secret. It probably was anyway, seeing as how emotionally constipated the Black brothers could be. “It’s mostly concern. And annoyance. Which we both know is Sirius’ weird way of caring.”
Regulus looked unconvinced, his eyebrows furrowed together, but this time he was looking back at James, seeming now interested in what he was saying.
“He checks the Slytherin side after quidditch matches to make sure you didn’t get hurt,” James admitted, not wasting any seconds now that he had his boyfriend’s full attention.
Regulus blinked.
“And last winter he almost punched Avery because he heard him call you a freak.”
“…What?”
James nodded. “Moony had to physically restrain him. It was a whole thing.”
For the first time since the conversation had started, Regulus looked genuinely thrown off balance.
“He still cares about you, Reg.”
Regulus’ expression tightened again, as if he were trying to build up a wall he usually had whenever he talked to strangers, but James wasn’t a stranger, and he couldn’t build a wall around him. “But what if he thinks I’m bad for you?”
James looked so offended by that statement that Regulus almost regretted saying it.
“Regulus ArcturusBlack,” James said slowly, bringing Regulus’ hands to his chest and leaning in slightly, “you are literally the best thing that has happened to me.”
Regulus flushed immediately. “Don’t say things like that.”
James softened again after a moment, at least he had managed to break him a bit, it was enough for him. “Look, I’m not saying we have to tell him tomorrow. I know this is hard for you.” Regulus looked at him cautiously, but didn’t show signs of being bothered, so James continued. “And I’m okay with saving this to ourselves for a while longer, a bit of peace never hurt anyone.” Regulus let out a chuckle at that, making James smile. “But I need to know if you’re okay with it. I can manage a few weeks more without telling Sirius, but he’s my best mate, and I don’t keep secrets from him.”
“I need time,” Regulus admitted quietly.
James nodded immediately, like the answer had never been in question. “Then you have time.”
Regulus looked away once again, although this time it wasn’t for a lack of caring or an attempt to escape from the conversation. James noticed, as he lifted his hand to cup Regulus’ face and turn it back to face him, his eyes were watery.
“I love you.”
Regulus’ eyes widened comically, and James would have laughed if it weren’t for his heartbeat that threatened to burst. It was his first time saying it, but there, with his boyfriend looking like that, he felt like there was no better time than the present.
“Je t'aime aussi, James” Regulus muttered back in French, knowing his boyfriend would understand him nonetheless. James melted, not having expected him to return the words, it wasn’t an obligation. But locking eyes with him, he could tell he didn’t feel obligated to do so.
—
Two weeks passed. Their relationship didn’t falter one bit, nor did Remus and Sirius’, of course, but James was so absorbed in thinking about Regulus lately that he didn’t seem to mind his two best friends snogging each other's faces off right beside him.
He and Reg had begun a little game between themselves: they would hide parchment notes in the other person's belongings — the pockets of their robes, their book bags, under their pillows (James still wondered how Regulus managed that) — all while undetected. It was exciting to end all his lessons and suddenly find a parchment that he never saw his boyfriend stuff into his things, one that read some sappy comment that always made him smile.
Today had been worse than usual. His N.E.W.T.s were around the corner, and his professors were insistent on telling them so, as well as showing them. James eyed the pile of undone homework on his desk with offense. He would kill to spend time with his boyfriend right now, but a few days ago, when James had invited Regulus to sleep in his bed (he’d snuck him in with his invisibility cloak) and he had caught sight of his “to do later” homework pile, he had scolded him like a mother scolded her son. So now, he was doomed to work on completing that pile to earn his reward of seeing his boyfriend.
“Prongs! Brilliant seeing you here,” Sirius exclaimed with too much joy, throwing an arm around James’ shoulders, who eyed him suspiciously.
“What? I can’t be happy to see you?” he said dramatically, putting his other hand over his chest in offense.
James rolled his eyes but smiled anyway. “Please, Padfoot, cut to the chase.”
“Well… I may or may not have set my potions book on fire.”
James turned his head to look at his best friend incredulously. Sirius had his lips pressed in a thin line, wagging his eyebrows comically.
“And I happen to know someone with a potions book I could borrow,” Sirius rapidly ended his statement.
James pinched his nose and waved his hand in despair. “Bloody hell, sure, it’s in my book bag. But you better not set it on fire.” He pointed an accusing finger at Sirius, who lifted his hands in innocence.
James walked to his pile of homework he now proclaimed as his enemy, snatched an unfinished Defense Against the Dark Arts essay, and began reading where he had left off to continue and hopefully finish it that same day.
He was nearing the end of his scribbles when he heard something drop from behind him. He looked and saw Sirius, one hand open, which had been holding his potions book that was now open on the floor, and his other hand gripping a parchment note.
James’ eyebrows flew up as he recognized the neat and elegant handwriting placed on the parchment.
Sirius slowly turned his head to look at his best friend. If looks could kill, James would be on the floor in an instant.
“James.”
Shit, not even Prongs. Sirius had used his real name.
“I take it you found the potions book,” James answered awkwardly.
“James.” This time, James flinched.
“I’m sorry, Padfoot, we were going to tell you, I swear. We just wanted more time to ourselves, but we would have told you in a few days, really!” James blurted out in a heartbeat.
Sirius’ expression didn’t waver. “Why the fuck does your potions book have a parchment that reads: ‘Frustration isn’t a good look on you, get that pile done and I’ll show you better expressions. Yours, RAB’?” he read it like it physically pained him.
James went red.
“Regulus Arcturus Black, my little brother, is writing this to you?” Sirius waved the parchment angrily.
“We’re dating, Pads.” There, he said it, a feeling of relief washed over him.
Sirius stared at him, then at the parchment, then back at James again.
“You’re joking.”
James shook his head carefully.
Sirius laughed in disbelief, he looked a little insane. “No. No, absolutely not. Please tell me you’re joking” James hesitated, it was enough for to accept it and Sirius to look horrified. “How long?”
“…Three months.”
“THREE MONTHS?” Sirius whisper-yelled, clearly trying not to alert the entire tower, the common room was usually packed at that hour. “You’ve been sneaking around with REGULUS for THREE MONTHS?”
“Pads—”
“My BROTHER?” Sirius interrupted, pacing now, his hands tangled in his hair. “My creepy, terrifying, emotionally constipated brother?”
James frowned immediately. “Don’t call him that.” (almost everything Sirius said had been true, but James felt offended on his boyfriend’s behalf).
Sirius stopped pacing, and turned quickly to look at James with a look of poorly disguised disgust. James winced slightly. Sirius took note of his reaction and took a deep breath to calm himself.
“So, we will both sit down like gentlemen and you will explain why you suddenly decided to be a brotherfucker” James rolled his eyes at the dramatics but complied nonetheless. He waited for Sirius to sit down next to him, he did and crossed his arms to look at James with a calculating look. James rubbed his hands together in nervousness, he couldn’t get any word out, Merlin.
Sirius stared at him blankly “so you don’t know why you’re dating him? Did he hex you or something?” He waved a hand close to James’ glasses.
“Sod off!” James protested, shifting away from his waving hand. “Of course I know why, I liked him and he hated me, so we just snogged for a while until we started dating for real. It just sort of happened.”
“That-“ Sirius paused “is such a James Potter way of getting in a relationship, I bet you flirted your way around him” he pinched his nose “Don’t answer that, I don’t want to know” he said quickly as his best friend opened his mouth, which he shut quickly after what he said. Sirius let out a long sigh and leaned back against the bedframe, staring at the ceiling like James had personally ruined his life (but too dramatic even for him, James thought). “I still think this is mental,” he muttered.
James smiled nervously. “Yeah, well.” He ran a hand through his hair as he messed it up even further.
Sirius looked back at him then, really looked at him, as in he made eye contact and did that unspoken communication that always bonded the two of them since first year of Hogwarts. “You really like him?”
James snorted quietly, of course he did, he never half-assed anything. He wasn’t the type to have one night stands or like someone just for fun. “Pads, I’m pretty sure I’m gone.”
Sirius groaned dramatically and covered his face with his hands as he flopped on James’ bed. “Merlin, this is awful.”
James grinned, sensing his best friend had resigned and was now accepting it. “It’s not that bad.” He flopped besides Sirius, turning his head to look at him.
“My best friend is dating my little brother. That’s at least seven kinds of disturbing.”
James laughed despite himself, relief slowly making its way into his chest.
Sirius dropped his hands and turned to look at James, they were now facing each other. “If you hurt him, I’ll kill you.”
James blinked. “You’re taking his side?”
“You’re both idiots, I’m against everyone here,” Sirius corrected immediately. “But Regulus…” He hesitated, the annoyance slipping for just a second, and James could tell it was fondness, that he really did care no matter how much he insisted otherwise. He would give the world to his brother if he could. “He gets attached to people, and you could break his heart.”
James’ expression softened, he would never, he knew Reg transformed to a part of his life he couldn’t lose.
“And if he told you he loves you,” Sirius continued carefully, “then he really means it.” James froze slightly, but tried to make it pass as casual. Sirius, seeing through him like an open book, narrowed his eyes. “Oh my God, he already said it?”
James tried and failed to hide his smile.
Sirius gagged loudly. “Right, brilliant, fantastic. I hate this.”
“You love me.”
“I did before you started snogging my brother.”
James laughed again, this time fully. Sirius shook his head, but eventually a small smile appeared too. “Just… next time, tell me before I find awfully graphic love notes hidden in your textbooks, yeah?”
“No promises.” James grinned mischievously.