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Isagi was in possession of the ball, one goal away from tying Japan and France. Rin lunged forward, kicking the ball at the same time as Isagi. Their shot missed, and Loki scored the final goal, ending the match at 4-2 France.
“What. The. Fuck.”
Beside Sae, his phone begins to buzz. Without looking, he hits Decline. It buzzes again. Decline again. It buzzes once more.
A vein on Sae’s forehead threatens to pop when he sees the caller.
He hits the green Answer if only to say,
“Stop calling me,” he hisses in Spanish.
“But Sae, I couldn’t possibly miss the chance to ask about your brother.”
Bunny’s voice was sharp, tongue teasingly rolling over the R in hermano.
“Die,” he says in Japanese, if only to be difficult.
“Do you really mean it?” His voice is chipper. The freak.
“You already have the translators?” Sae asks, a miniscule lilt to his tone that reveals his surprise.
“Yes, but I would recognize your little threats in any language.”
Sae glowers at his phone and hangs up.
As expected, Bunny calls him again. And again. And again and again and again. Just as he debates the consequences of crushing his phone beneath his heel, a FaceTime pops up from Don Lorenzo.
He declines, or at least he thought he did, but the FaceTime loads anyway.
“Sae, amico mio!”
Sae grimaces and presses End Call. Then presses it again, but it’s not fucking working.
Scowling, he shoves in his translator earbuds and glares at the ones who have taken him hostage.
“Lorenzo.”
“Sae!”
“Why can’t I leave?”
“I’ll never tell,” Lorenzo sang.
“You—”
“Did you know they’re calling your brother ‘fraudtoshi’?”
Sae’s eye twitches. Of course Lorenzo forced him into a group call.
Bunny continues gleefully, red eyes flickering across his phone as he reads.
“‘Misstoshi,’ in other cases. Ooh, here’s a good one: ‘I asked my friend if we made it to the bus stop on time and she told me we Rin Itoshi’d, and that’s when I knew we missed it.’”
“The setup is far too long for that insult to be any good,” Sae huffs.
“I think it’s appropriate,” Kaiser sneers, who was apparently also on the call.
It’s amazing that Sae somehow didn’t notice him sooner even though Kaiser’s ego was so fucking massive, unlike his pancake-looking ass.
“Bold words from the Kaiser misspact,” Sae counters flatly.
Kaiser growls, far too close to the screen. Sae takes pleasure in knowing Shidou’s trash-talking lessons have been paying off.
Lorenzo’s face lights up in delight. “So you do read my messages!”
“I do not,” Sae defends the same moment Kaiser yells, “You send slander about me?!”
“It’s not slander if it’s true,” Sae says.
“What about your performance in the U-20 match?” Kaiser accuses.
“That wasn’t a real match, Sae hardly tried against them,” Lorenzo laughs.
“You really are too soft on Rin,” Bunny hums. “You should send him to Spain. Luna would love to toughen up another Itoshi.”
“I will kill you and everything you stand for,” Sae threatens.
The phone dings as another member joins the FaceTime.
“I appreciate the call, but I doubt this is to congratulate us on our victory,” Loki says.
The camera shifts to reveal Hugo standing by his side, the two somewhere in their locker room. “Not that we would’ve expected anything less.” His eyes locked with Sae’s. “Although little Itoshi’s contribution helped quite a bit.”
Their presence calms him a little. Maybe it’s because they were discussing parenting tactics just forty-five minutes earlier, but Sae can breathe a little easier with them there.
“I guess this is what happens when someone is raised by you.”
Fucker. Sae takes it all back.
“Maybe. But it seemed like you were questioning your philosophy out there, so I’d call it even.”
“Isagi made a convincing argument,” Hugo allows, “but the Blue Lock theory crumbled compared to our method.”
Sae privately rolls his eyes. It’s obvious Hugo will be riding that high for the next few weeks. Damn it, Rin.
“Speaking of Yoichi, you were awfully close to him during the match,” Kaiser attempts to bring up casually, not that it’s fooling anyone. His one-sided obsession is quite noticeable for anyone who has working eyes, and even those who don’t, like Yukimiya.
“Was he, now?” Loki asks, teeth clenched and gold eyes glowing.
Perhaps this FaceTime was a good idea after all, now Sae can watch Hugo be throttled in real time.
“It was strategic, nothing more,” Hugo defends, hand on his chest and the other in the air like he was testifying in court before his executioner. To him, he might as well be.
“Really? Even the part where you leaned your head on his shoulder?” Bunny raises his phone, showing Hugo practically draped across Isagi’s back.
Silence.
Sae gives Hugo ten seconds before he drops to the ground to confess his sins. That, or kill Isagi as an offering for his Loki shrine.
“I hate gay people.”
“That’s not very nice, Sae,” Lorenzo wags a finger. “You should like yourself more.”
Loki discreetly turns his head to laugh while Kaiser cackles. Sae wishes he wouldn’t—not out of some sense of shame, but because Kaiser has a really unflattering laugh.
“Aw, Sae~” Bunny hums.
“Kill yourself.”
Bunny beams. “You’re so sweet.”
Sae gags—a full-blown nose wrinkle.
Lorenzo whistles. “You make him so expressive!”
“I always have,” Bunny smiles sweetly, sending chills down Sae’s spine.
They stare at each other, eyes locked. Without looking away, Sae minimizes the screen and adds a new person to the call.
“Heyyy Lashes! We doin’ phone sex?”
“The fuck?” Kaiser spits.
Pink eyes close to the screen. “Ooo~ we doing a threeway?”
“Shidou,” Sae says.
“Oh, it’s Kaiser. Bring your midfielder in and we’ll make it a fourway.”
“Shidou.”
“I kid, I kid!” Shidou says. “Kaiser would stay in the cuck chair anyway.”
“I would what—?!”
“Back up, why is Shidou here? This is Gen XI only,” Loki criticizes.
“If I need to watch you two interact then I’ll need a partner of my own.”
“We’re literally just standing here,” Loki protests.
“Yes,” Sae says, “homosexually.”
“Is this a hate crime?”
“I hate you, but it’s not a crime.”
“I can make it a crime,” Shidou offers, flexing his fingers.
Sae’s face remains impassive while he internally swoons. He hopes his demon threatens more people for him in the future.
Shidou swipes the screen, taking in all the players. “Oh, so this is a whole meeting. What’s the occasion?”
“Misstoshi Rin’s fumble,” Loki answers.
“Y’know I started that,” Shidou grins. “Glad it already caught on.”
“Shouldn’t you be defending your brother’s honor, Sae?” Bunny asks, perfectly light. “We’d hate to think you’re not a good nii-chan.”
Stupid fucking bunny with his stupid face and his stupid hair and his stupid voice and his stupid philosophy and his stupid lungs that let him keep breathing and his—
“Rin is old enough to accept the consequences of whatever choices he makes. If he can’t handle what the public says, he needs to get out of the public eye.”
“At least someone went to media training,” Hugo praises.
Sounds erupt from behind Shidou, making him turn his head. “Look who finally joined us.”
“Shidou, where are you calling from?” Sae asks.
“The locker rooms. I needed to change before meeting up with my wifey.”
“And we’re the problem?” Loki asks sarcastically. Maybe rhetorically. Either way, no one answers him.
“Well if it isn’t the flop of the hour,” Shidou grins to the group. “You guys are gonna want to see this.”
Shidou turns the camera, showing Rin and Isagi on the other side of the room, still in their uniforms. Rin has his arms crossed, looking repugnant while Isagi is furiously yelling at him, a look in his eye that he only gets on the field.
Sae can just barely make out “We lost,” coming from his brother his ex-teammate(?) (Sae can’t decide how mad he is at the moment) before Isagi bluescreens in real time, and he grabs Rin’s collar to pull him down to yell at him face to face.
“Y’know he used to yell at me like that,” Kaiser sighs.
“So you’re old news, we knew that,” Loki shrugs.
“I believe they knew each other first anyway, so you must’ve been a placeholder,” Hugo muses aloud.
Kaiser bares his teeth, looking like a feral animal. “Shut up. Because of him, my rival lost to what should’ve been a stepping stone. It’s humiliating.”
“No way you’re talking about humiliation when you’ve got that haircut,” Shidou says.
As they argue, Rin grabs Isagi’s hair, yanking his sprout.
“Give me Rin’s number, I just want to talk to him,” Kaiser mutters, plotting death from another continent.
“Don’t be a bitch, Kaiser, it suits you too well.”
“My man is such a diva,” Shidou swoons, turning the camera back to him.
“Go back, I want to see if Rin will land a punch or if he’ll miss that too,” Lorenzo says, snacking on popcorn.
“Can’t. Ego just pulled them away. With luck, Rinnie will be benched next match.”
“How does that make you feel, Sae?” Bunny inquires.
“Indifferent.”
“Yeah, yeah, your brotherly trauma is so interesting,” Kaiser waves a hand. “Now why was he so close to Yoichi?” Kaiser’s eyes are dark, like a pitch-black room or the absorption of light or some other third equally dark thing. He doesn’t know—Shidou is the poet between them.
“Maybe because it was a match, and closeness was necessary,” Hugo suggests, sweating. Sae pretends not to notice the chokehold Loki has put him in.
“Rin’s decisions are none of my business.”
“If closeness is the problem, you would’ve hated our date,” Bunny chirps.
“Your what?!” Kaiser yells.
Bunny continues, “Yoichi and I met by chance when he came to Spain before the qualifiers. It was almost fate, really.”
Kaiser’s teeth are clenched so hard they could shatter. “Is that right?”
“He was quite sweet, and we even shared lunch.”
Sae swears he can almost hear the breaking of Kaiser’s psyche. Or maybe that’s his teeth. Oh well.
“I’m booking a flight to Spain right now to settle this,” Kaiser challenges.
“Cancel it, I don’t want you in the same country as me.”
Kaiser smirks, “You scared or something?”
“Not at all. If I wanted to deal with attention-seekers I’d offer to coach the Pre-K teams.”
“Fuck you.”
The corner of Bunny’s mouth turns up, “Speaking of, you should let your midfielder take the trip instead.” Crimson eyes focus on Sae. “I happen to like pathetic pink-haired men.”
A split-second of silence before yelling breaks out on every line: Sae cussing in a mix of Japanese, English, and Spanish, Shidou screeching so indecipherably even the translators can’t make it out, Kaiser defending Ness’s honor while simultaneously emphasizing that he should be everyone’s first choice, Lorenzo cackling like a hyena, and finally a quivering Hugo tucked into a ball in Loki’s arms being reassured that the big, bad Bunny doesn’t want redheads anyway.
After minutes of fighting, the group quiets, if only to catch their breath. Or in Lorenzo’s case, finish coughing up the popcorn he was choking on from laughing too hard.
“Nothing to say, Sae?”
“Die.”
“Again with the threats. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you like me,” his smile sharpens, “still.”
“Fucker,” Sae hisses.
“Of course, if I wanted to kill myself I could just label myself an Itoshi and go outside. The shame should get to me soon enough.”
“I would be honored to label myself an Itoshi,” Shidou says, one hand on his chest and the other in his pants. How he’s holding his phone is a mystery.
“Absolutely not,” Sae refuses. “I’m becoming a Shidou.”
It would be the quickest way to escape the current embarrassment latching itself to his surname.
Shidou licks his lips before addressing the group. “Okay, I’m gonna need y'all to hop off for a minute.”
The group has matching faces of surprise and horror except for Lorenzo.
“Not a chance,” he says, settling in like he’s about to observe a match.
Shidou shrugs, “Well if I had to pick anyone here to watch—”
“Keep your clothes on, demon.”
Shidou pouts, “You never let me do anything.”
“Don’t be shy, Sae,” Bunny coaxes. “We’re all curious.”
Sae almost requests he kill himself but thinks better of it.
“On the contrary, I’ve been trying to leave this whole time,” Hugo says. From his frantic tapping, it’s clear he’s trying to exit the call as soon as possible. Loki, for his part, is stonefaced and staring at the wall, no doubt regretting most things.
“Kaiser hasn’t said anything,” Lorenzo chirps like the shit-stirrer he is.
“Leave me out of this!” the emperor hisses.
“Your silence disgusts me,” Sae says flatly.
“I was minding my own business!”
“In this call? Nice try,” Shidou laughs. “No worries, rose. I’m sending you something.”
“You’re what?” Sae hisses.
“You’re what?!” Kaiser shrieks.
Sky blue eyes rake across the screen, the emperor turning several shades of white, pink, then red. His undereye tattoos are now indistinguishable from the rest of his face. He gapes, glancing between Shidou and whatever message popped up on his phone.
Sae, admittedly, sees the humor in this.
“Send me that too,” Bunny requests.
Never mind, joke's over.
“Shidou.”
“I’m on it.”
Bunny’s eyes flick to his phone, lips widening into a smile. “Oh, how delightful. You’re awfully creative.”
Hugo looks sickly. “I need to leave.”
Shidou waves a hand. “I sent him some recipes for rabbit stew.”
“Don’t forget about the easiest ways to carve up bunnies,” Bunny is amused. “Think we can try number three?”
Shidou looks disgusted, having been sufficiently out-freaked. “Lorenzo, can you dox this guy?”
“No can do, he’s so fun!”
“Thank you, Don.” He turns to Shidou, “Don’t hold out on me. I want to see what you’re capable of! Besides,” he grins, “you have enough pink in your hair to pique my interest.”
A beat of silence, then:
Bunny blinks at his phone, the smile falling from his face. “That is…my exact location.”
“I’m posting it on Twitter in thirty seconds. Better get moving,” Sae warns.
Bunny hangs up, and Sae posts his location immediately. Also his computer’s location so his home address is shared because he’s messy like that.
“Wait, why can he leave?” Loki asks.
Sae hits the End Call button as a test and nothing changes. “Your favoritism is showing, Lorenzo.”
Lorenzo shrugs as Shidou shudders. “Ugh, that was like being propositioned by a vampire. The unsexy kind too.”
“So you’d agree if he was hotter? Loyalty is at an all-time low, I see,” Kaiser says.
“Kaiser, you literally can’t say shit right now, I saw you saved my dick pics. Besides, my Sae-chan is truly the only one for me!”
Sae says nothing and gives a wordless thumbs up. Shidou beams like he was given a blessing from an angel, which truly is the only correct response.
“How did you get his location? You can’t even figure out how to leave the call,” Lorenzo asks.
Sae sighs, “I know someone.”
“How cryptic,” Hugo comments.
“I can’t believe Sae is the first of us to belong to the mob,” Loki says.
“He isn’t,” says Lorenzo.
Everyone decides to stay quiet on that particular point.
“Can I have Shidou’s nudes too?” Lorenzo asks.