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I sat waiting in my office thinking about him. Daryl Dixon was a redneck that decked me in the face for killing his ginger haired friend and that led to the second slaying of a korean man. But there was something in him. So I took him back here patched up his wounds and left him in the cells. He was loyal to his group and I wanted him to be loyal to me. After letting Dwight have his fun I decided to clean him up and get him new clothes and wrestled his vest away from Dwight. Now I just waited until I made my decision.
"D!" I called out onto the radio I always carried.
"Yes boss?" He called back.
"Bring Dixon up here."
"Yes boss." I heard and I smirked waiting patiently until the door opened. Daryl walked in. "Just the man I wanted to see sit, have a drink." I offered and he complied.
"What do you want?" He asked sitting down on one of my plush chairs.
"I want to tell you a story Daryl, I want to tell you why I became the woman I am now. Why I've become the monster that I know you think I am."
"Why would you tell me that?"
"You're loyal, I've taken you away from everyone that you trust. I killed two of your friends, you decked me in the face. You don't want an explanation for that?"
"I guess."
"Good, let's begin." I said and he nodded. "I wasn't always this person Daryl, I had a life, a job, a family. You've met Lucille, but you don't know why she's named that." I explained and he nodded. Why was I explaining this to him I didn't know but I felt like I should. "Lucille was my daughter." His eyes widened. "Yes she was my daughter. I was seventeen when I had her and she was the joy of my life. Her father left early on couldn't handle the responsibility I guess. So I graduated from highschool, had my baby and started a job at an old repair shop in my town in Georgia. I wasn't just Negan then I was Sarah Grace Negan and my Lucille charmed everyone with her baby blue eyes that charmed everyone she met. And then when I was thirty and she was thirteen came the diagnosis. Lung cancer by the time they found it they said she'd only have a few more months. But she held on for two ore years and we tried everything. I cut into the trust my grandfather left me for her meds. I did everything and everything for that little girl." Tears threatened to fall but I fought them off. "And then one day she was just gone. It was the same day the world went to shit and she turned after she died but I couldn't do it, I couldn't kill her. The orderly sitting in the room with me had to do it. I held her in my arms for a moment and then I had to leave her there." The radio hummed to life.
"We have a situation." It said.
"Send Dwight to deal with it I'm busy." I replied.
"Yes, boss."
"And then after I got my shit together I made my way out of the hospital and I went back home. I grabbed somethings and then I saw it. You see Lucy she loved baseball and I let her be on the local ball team until she got sick. So I took that with me. I found some of the wire in my garage and she was born again. I wasn't always this person, I didn't always kill to get what I want. I had to harden myself and my heart. Because without her I had nothing. And I know it's not an explanation for killing your friends but I have to keep an image now. I had to stay who I am now. I can't go back to being Sarah. I have to stay Negan and I'm sorry." I said and he nodded. "You can leave Daryl." I said and he nodded. As he approached the door I looked at a picture of my Lucy her dark hair and blue eyes staring back at me. And then he stopped as he reached the door.
"Negan?" He asked.
"What Daryl?" I replied.
"I forgive you." He said before leaving. Tears fell from my face I knew he wasn't lying but still knew I deserved death if Rick went to kill me.
"I'm sorry Lucy." I cried out pressing a finger to the glass covering her face. "I'm so sorry." And I meant it but nothing could change what I'd done. But even if her story was over, mine was still going.