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"Trainer…I think I'm done…"
You blink, looking across the table at Super Creek as she stares down at her tea, a pensive frown on her face. You admit you don't understand, asking if she means that she's done with racing.
"No…I mean, what I've been doing for others…what we have between us…I am done playing goo goo babies."
Your jaw hangs agape, unbelieving of the confession you're hearing. One of the most motherly Umas, someone who would pamper you after each race and training session, the only person who could make anybody she meets feel like a loved child, giving up her one pastime? You ask if she feels sick, or if there's something wrong, stammering inquiries to figure an answer to any possibility on why she is doing this. Creek just shakes her head, sighing heavily.
"I just don't feel the joy in this anymore. Actually, I haven't felt the joy in this for…about a month now. I'm not sure if you've noticed, I know nobody really has, but my heart isn't in this anymore. I wanted to keep up appearances, to pamper you all and keep you happy, but I just…don't feel like you're my goo goo baby."
Your heart sinks to your stomach, bile rises as you feel sick. A month? Did you really not notice that for this long? When you first took on being Super Creek's trainer, it was awkward at first playing these games with her. Being cooed at, treated like a toddler and almost expected to play along right off the bat, mothered in such a tender and caring way. It grew on you over time, in fact you almost started expecting it as a regular thing. You ask if she just needs some time to take a break, distance herself to regain the joy she had. Super Creek looks up at you, a tiredness in her eyes you never saw before. Or did you just not bother to see it?
"I don't think this is something I can just come back to after a respite. I thought about that, maybe I was just running myself ragged giving so much love to all my babies, maybe I just had to take time to myself and recharge the battery. But thinking about that wasn't giving me a sense of relief, I only felt an exhaustion in the back of my mind to think about coming back to this. I can't say for certain, but I think despite treating you all as my little goo goo babies, I felt like I was the one that needed to grow up."
She reached over the table, placing a hand on yours. It felt colder than normal, not the same touch as that once motherly Uma but instead a soft, cold touch of a harsh truth. You look back across at her, feeling the hot tears well up in the corner of your eyes.
"I'll still be racing, and I do hope you'll stay as my trainer, but we wont have the same relationship anymore. You will no longer be my goo goo baby."
It felt like betrayal, your eyes sting with the salt of the tears and you can feel your heart ripping in half in real time. You pull your hand back, a reaction of anger and frustration, and stand up in your baby blue onesie with cloud patterns. The sippy cup you were drinking your tea from falls over, but the spill-proof baby design made it so nothing spilled out. You feel a lump in your throat, wanting to scream with the primal ferocity of an angered infant, but your body rejects your wants as it keeps it lodged there. You feel that you could throw yourself to the floor and start a tantrum, try to force her to return to being that motherly figure, to bring back a normalcy you now feel has been snatched from you. But no actions come. Super Creek just looks at you sadly, shaking her head in disappointment.
"You feel it, now. Knowing that there's no point to act as such, you understand subconsciously that no matter how you would act, I wont give in. I'm decided, Trainer, and I'm very sorry. I'll take my leave now."
Super Creek stands from the kotatsu, making her way to the front door past all the wooden blocks and various stuffed toys. She pauses in front of you, giving a sad smile, a final wordless farewell, before walking out the door. You just stand there for a few moments, letting the tears run dry as they fall onto the soft cloth of your onesie, being absorbed into wet spots amidst snot dribbles and some drool. Tired, that's all you feel now, tired and lost. You weakly stumble to the large crib, lifting yourself into it and raising the side to lock into place, sobbing yourself to sleep.
You will never be goo goo baby again…