Chapter Text
Chishiya, despite what others might say, does not live under a rock. He works with children, of course he knows what the latest vine (or was it meme now) is.
Okay correction, he doesn't live entirely under a rock. He can't keep track of it all but he tries his best to remember the bits his patients talk about. Knowing enough to have a conversation helps keep them at ease as they wait for treatment and helps him connect with the parents when he can't quite keep up with the child's excited ramblings. Helps them think he cares.
Chishiya can hear the muffled voices of some online personality coming from one of his patients rooms as he makes his way from down the hall. He gives the door a soft knock, hears the voices stop and a returned ‘come in’, before he enters.
“Good afternoon. How are you feeling Hayato?” Chishiya put on a gentle smile and turned to give a small bow to Hayato's mother sitting in a chair by the boy's too large bed.
Hayatos sitting up with an iPad in his lap. He gives a big smile back, “Good! Alice made a new video!”
He's energetic today, that's a good sign.
“Oh?” Chishiya responds before turning to take note of all the beeping machines surrounding the room. He's heard the name many times from multiple patients of his now, Alice_Lost_Heart, a newer name in the online gaming community taking the world by storm from what he's heard from the kids. He streams on Tweek? Twitch? Something of that nature and posts videos on YouTube of himself playing various games solo and with friends.
What a waste of time.
“Ya! He's teaching his friends how to play chess, they're not very good at it though,” Hayato laughs. That gives Chishiya a slight pause as he writes down heart rate and oxygen levels. “Apparently he's really good at it, Dee said he was the best player when they were in school.”
Right, Dee and Dum, the friends Alice played with frequently, how silly to be dubbed TweedleDee and TweedleDum, though the blonde does give credit for the consistent thematic naming conventions at least.
“Chess? I thought Alice played more of those…” He pauses trying to remember the term, instead giving up and making a hand gesture of a hand gun, “Bang. Bang. Kind of games, no?”
“FPS,” There it is, “I guess he does ya, but he plays others too!”
Chishiya hums, turning back to the screens to finish jotting down vitals, taking note of the consistent but irregular heart rhythm.
“I like when he plays puzzle games though. He's really good at figuring out even the really hard problems. He's really smart.” Chishiya nods along as Hayato rambles about some of his favorite ‘play throughs.’
The blonde takes his stethoscope from his neck making his way to the bed with a mild chuckle, “Alright, lets finish this up and I’ll leave you to your video, okay?”
Hayato smiles up at him, “Okay!”
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It becomes a routine, greeting patients and hearing about the latest video or stream Alice did as he checks vitals and fiddles with charts.
He learns more about the specific games he frequents (puzzles - just like Hayato said - he adores a good challenging puzzle game apparently) and bits of his personal life. He's been friends with the two other boys he plays with since school, both have ‘real’ jobs, something they make fun of Alice about lacking. (Dee works in IT and Dum is a bartender he's told from an older patient of his.) Everything else he hears is never too specific, he seems rather closed off when it comes to comments about his family and other personal matters. Though Chishiya supposes it's natural to keep such information close to the chest.
It's all passive intake, paying attention enough to talk about it again when the streamer is brought up in conversation and that's it. He nods along to ramblings and hums mirrored excitement to show he's paying attention. Somehow though the name sticks in his head. Alice.
Alice did this. Alice said that.
Alice, Alice, Alice.
It's a constant buzz now, it seems like every patient he talks to has something to say about him. Everyone gets drawn into his land of wonder.
Chishiya is almost curious, the streamer doesn't sound all that unique, he's heard a few names of other internet personalities and they all sound the same. Loud and frankly annoying. Chishiya doesn't get the appeal of wasting one's time playing, let alone watching someone play a game when you could be doing something productive. However unlike those other names who range greatly from patient to patient, Alice seems to be a constant for anyone who's been on such platforms for the past year or so, no matter their preference.
Still new in the grand scheme of things, but a big name already. Recognizable, even if they don't subscribe, they've seen him.
Or like Chishiya, hears of him daily, and whatever he's up to at the moment.
It doesn't matter, Alice has no impact on his life outside of patient interactions, and even that's minimal. He pushes thoughts of Alice out of his head as he finishes his rounds, only allowing thoughts of him to creep in when speaking with patients who wish to ramble about his latest video or stream.
The name echoes in his head as he settles in for the night.
Alice.
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It's a week until Hayato's surgery date. He's progressed well, the heart wave still has a slight irregular tachycardia rhythm but it's stable enough for the transplant. There's always a chance that it won't fully fix his disorder but Chishiya believes the odds are tilted in the boy's favor now.
Chishiya returns his stethoscope to his neck from listening to the boy's heart and straightens to face Hayato and his mother head on, “Next week's the big day, you're going to do great.” He means it too, it's one of the few times he lets himself actually care in this world. Hayato has done well, keeps getting better, there's just one more hurdle and he'll be home free in a bed that doesn't swallow him whole and surrounded by wires.
He can see the palpable relief on the mothers face with the confirmation that this is finally over. She reaches over to brush hair out of the boy's eyes, pure joy on her face, “Hear that? You get to come home soon.” It's a soft promise kissed against his brow, too tender for Chishiya to be present for. The act crawls under his skin uncomfortably and settles in his stomach as he bows and makes a swift exit.
He'll let them have this well deserved moment in peace.
On his way back to his office he runs into the head of the pediatric department.
Chishiya nods in greeting.
“I was hoping to run into you, is there any update on Hayato's treatment?” The man states.
Chishiya smiles, "He's been progressing well, he's finally stable enough for his surgery next week.”
The director frowns, “About that. There's been an update to the transplant list.” He holds out an envelope, “Here.”
Chishiya's smile falters slightly as he reaches out to take it. It's thin, almost unassuming but he can feel something that almost feels like dread climbing into his chest as he takes out the single page and unfolds the new list. Hayato's name is no longer present, he flips the page over like he didn't just see its blank back leave the envelope. Nothing, just plain black ink on crisp white paper outlining dates of the next few weeks for surgeries with Hayato's name nowhere to be seen.
Instead in his place are three new names, “A good friend of the hospital director's has a niece that's sick and needs a transplant. They’re a large donor to the hospital as well, without their support we’d go under. So are the others.”
Chishiya brings his eyes to meet the other man, “And Hayato?”
“Moved, obviously,” the man responds.
“How long? He’ll die without one soon,” Chishiya takes care to keep his voice steady, nothing good ever comes from reactionary emotional behavior. The statement might be a ploy in order to get the powers above to revert the list, but it's true. Hayato might be fine for surgery now but who knows how long that will last as he waits. He's already waited so long.
“Don’t know,” the department head gives him a noncommittal shrug and turns to walk away.
“What do I tell them?” Chishiya asks after him.
The older man pauses to reply, “You're his doctor, you'll figure something out,” then fully turns and leaves Chishiya in the hallway, footsteps echoing in the distance.
For the first time in a very, very long time Chishiya feels off. He's lost patients on the table, called code blue and time of death. He's not afraid or troubled by the thought of a patient dying. Approximately 150,000 people die everyday due to age, sickness, accidents, natural disasters; out of those 150,000 people approximately 13,400 are children under the age of 5. People die every day. Children die. It's natural, he wouldn't have it any other way.
However.
Hayato was dying of cruel and natural heart failure.
Now Hayato is dying because of a man's greed. Perverse and unnatural.
Chishiya doesn't register putting the list back in the envelope then tucked neatly in his coat pocket. Barely realizes he's standing in front of Hayato's door and knocking. He remembers standing in the hall outside the room with Hayato's mother sobbing to something he said. The rest of the day passes and the next thing he remembers is that he's home, slipping out of his work clothes and into the shower.
The water burns as he rubs his skin red and raw hoping that such a simple act might scrub the clawing pit spreading in his chest away and down the drain to drown. It doesn't work, only proves to leave him aching on the outside as well as on the inside with a growing itch deep beneath the skin. By the time he makes his way out of the bathroom with a change of clothes the sun is setting.
He feels wrong, detached. His favorite hoodie's soft comfort sits against his skin wrong, too tight and too loose and just too much. He’ll feel freezing without it, always too cold no matter what the thermostat is set too, but which is worse? Tight-loose-wrong or freezing. He’ll deal with having to constantly adjust the sleeves and hood.
What is wrong with him, what are these symptoms? Chishiya takes a moment to try and categorize what he's feeling: numb, itchy, lightheaded, weak, the lights are just over the edge of too bright, and there's a ringing in his ears.
The lightheadedness and weakness could be caused by the lingering heat from the shower or lack of food at the late hour. Light sensitivity and the ringing in his ears could be a migraine? He’ll take some painkillers with a glass of water, dehydration can cause similar symptoms. Perhaps Chishiya brushed up against something abnormal at work, an unknown chemical or allergic reaction could cause skin irritation resulting in the itching feeling. The shower should help with that.
Food, water, and rest. Yes, that's what he needs. He’ll feel better in the morning, there's no reason to be alarmed.
The food he makes tastes bland and rolls in his stomach. Nausea, also a sign of overheating or migraine. Again no need to worry.
When Chishiya finally settles down for the night tucked into bed the symptoms persist. That's to be expected, simply drinking water and eating won't instantly fix him. Though he must be more tired than initially thought to still be feeling so out of it. Rest, that should resolve any lingering issues. His mind will be clearer in the morning too.
Sleep doesn't come easy, Chishiya tosses and turns for hours until finally the exhaustion takes him into a fitful slumber.
When Chishiya wakes up, nothing's changed.
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He can hear Alice's voice through Hayato's door again. It's softer than it usually is when he passes by, calm. Chishiya almost feels bad to disrupt as he knocks on the door. The voices pause. He opens the door to the familiar sight of Hayato in bed and his mother dutifully sitting beside him when a muffled ‘come in’ is spoken.
Chishiya's voice is soft as he greets the two of them, “Hi Hayato, how are you?” The boy looks even smaller laying in bed surrounded by bulky towers of machines. He barely glances at them, no real point in looking outside of charting, nothing will change. Nothing will they say can help. Too many wires feed in and out of him. It can't be comfortable. Hayato shifts to try and face Chishiya and he can see tubes shift and tug at the boy's pale skin.
Hayato's smile is no longer as lively as it was nearly two weeks ago, far too tired and in pain to do much more than the small strained one he puts on. “Hi Ches.” His voice matches the rest of him: small, quiet, fading. He can't even get through the childish nickname he's taken to calling Chishiya recently.
Cheshire, like he's part of Alice's little world. Perhaps from Hayato's perspective he is. A coworker even gifted him a charm of the grinning cat as a joke when it got out to the rest of the floor. Chishiya doesn't ask why. Simply allowing the spread of the name in the hopes it brings some kind of comfort.
A frown knits in Chishiya's brow as he turns to Hayato's mother, “He still seems in pain, did the medication not work?”
She shakes her head, “It did. It’s working, he's feeling much better, thank you. He's just been trying to stay awake for Alice's streams, ya’know? The painkillers make him tired so we haven't done the extra. He's stubborn. But can you blame him?”
Chishiya can't, as much as he thinks it's a waste of time he can't deny the joy on his patients faces when he walks in on them watching one of Alice's videos. He's a comfort, a streak of color in these plain white halls allowing laughter to spill out of doors he walks past.
No, Chishiya can’t blame him, not when the only thing Chishiya can do for him is manage his pain as he keeps slipping away.
Chishiya nods in agreement. She's right, Alice provides a comfort nothing can quite match at the moment, an escape. A piece of Wonderland pulled into the real world for those in pain to fall into.
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Hayato dies exactly two weeks after what was supposed to be his surgery date. Chishiya sees it during the morning rounds when he stops in to take vitals. The way Hayato's eyes don't fully focus on him when he greets the two of them, the shallow, slow breathing, all color in his face gone. They're all signs that Hayato is finally letting go.
When Chishiya looks at Hayato's mother he can see she knows it too. Tears cling to her lashes and her hand is a vice around the boy's pale one, thumb stroking the back of it for comfort.
It's a pitiful sight.
At 1:42 PM Hayato's heart gives out.
At 1:43 PM Chishiya and a few nurses make an attempt to restart it, but it's mostly for show, they all know it's pointless.
Time of death is called at 2:03 PM.
As the nurses take care of turning off machines Chishiya makes his way outside the room where Hayato's mother was ushered during the commotion. She's crying. Chishiya keeps the door open for her to walk through, head bowed as she passes.
The numb feeling is clawing back through his chest as he makes his way to his office. He has paper work to file and a death certificate to fill.
Later that day Chishiya spots her in the courtyard from a floor up. She's sobbing into her hands so loudly he can hear her through the glass separating them. Chishiya just stares. He's already said his condolences, gone through the pleasantries and bed side manner he was taught in school, there was nothing left for him to do now.
Yet he's standing here, watching her, wishing he could do more. More what? He has no clue, there is nothing to do, it's illogical to want such a thing. But he stands, lost, watching a mother grieve. The numbness hasn't faded, the dizzying sensation is back, and his clothes are fitting wrong.
He hears the department head come up beside him. “This isn’t my fault.” Chishiya glances at him, “Even if he did get the surgery there was no guarantee that it would have worked.” That's not true, his odds of survival were well within the margin of success, it would have worked, it would have saved him, “You did everything you could, don't take it with you.”
Chishiya nods, running his thumb over the Cheshire Cat charm he forgot about in his pocket, eyes still trained on the sobbing mother below him, "Don't worry sir, I won’t.”
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Barely a month later Chishiya meets the department head in the hall after exiting a patients room. He can still hear the young girl chattering away about a new movie she wants to go see with her friends through the door. He stops before the man, his hand already holding out an envelope.
Oh.
Chishiya takes it, opening the letter already knowing what it'll contain but hoping to be wrong anyways. He sighs after he reads it, her name is missing from the list. He slips the letter back in place then in his pocket and nods.
The other man nods in confirmation and walks away.
A month later the girl dies.
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It's a few months later when he sees the department head down the hall after leaving the child's room. Alice and laughter lingering behind him through the door.
The envelope is held out. Chishiya turns it over, looks at the man, then puts it away in his pocket.
The child died two months later.
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Chishiya is numb.
He tells himself that, feels it. He’s numb to it, that he doesn’t care. Children die. There’s nothing else to it.
He leaves a patient's room and there he is, holding an envelope. Chishiya takes it and carries on his way through the endless corridor of doors. Some of the doors he passes have muffled sobs, others are silent, many are filled with the vibrancy of Alice's voice. He can hear the laughing and yelling spilling through the cracks of the doors as he walks by.
Something soft soothes the constant itching beneath his skin for just a moment before he turns the corner and the voices fade.
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On it goes, sometimes it's a month, sometimes it's half a year between the envelopes, but one is always there, waiting in the department heads hand in the hallway for Chishiya to take. Another patient condemned for greed.
He barely blinks when taking the envelopes now, just another part of his job, purposely letting patients die to meet a bottom line. He still gives full care, of course he does, but he doesn't bother with staying to chat with them like he did in the past. He's perfected faux empathy, the soft smiles to reassure parent and child, keeps up conversation about school, sports, Alice. But he doesn’t let them stick the same way he used to, keeps the patient in mind just for the meeting and further care plans, doesn't get hopeful, sticks with probabilities of survival. Stays detached, clinical. That's all he should've been. That's all he will be.
Chishiya works through muscle memory, making diagnosis become second nature. He works efficiently and with precision. Day after day, wake up, work, lay awake in bed, head fuzzy, body itching, somehow fall asleep, repeat.
It's a monotonous cycle that makes his head swim and limbs feel far away. The itching gets worse as days continue with no way of relief.
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Chishiyas’ ears are ringing, head stuffed with fuzz, fingers and toes tingling. He's laying in bed waiting for sleep to take him. He's lost track of how many times he's tossed and turned, adjusted and readjusted his pillows and blankets just trying to get comfortable enough to get his fuzzy mind to shut off.
He can't remember the last time he had some decent rest. The silence is overwhelming.
His mind drifts to his patients. The ones still living, dead, dying with no hope for help because people above him decided that money was worth killing children over. He didn't do anything to try and stop it either. He could’ve raised a complaint, reported their negligence, their abuse of power. A thousand different things except stand by as they withered. He could have. But he didn’t, because Chishiya knows in the dark pit clawing in his chest it wouldn't have done anything except risk his position at the hospital. He’d risk everything for nothing. So he disappeared when his patients needed him.
His chest grows tight, as he spirals further. What could he have done? Anything, literally anything, but stand there. Chishiya has always been selfish, he just didn't think he was a coward as well.
Shit, he needs his mind to shut up. Something, anything to drown out the static in his head. The endless spiral of deprecation keeps coming.
Fuck, FUCK!
His hands come up to twist in his hair, then yank, to try and bring just the slightest bit of clarity to his mind.
He tries to remember to breathe, deep and slow. Hold for four, count the breaths. It's not working. Fine distraction then. What to do, what to do. Something that'll consume the senses to keep his mind off of the claw twisting his heart.
Oh. Ya okay, he’ll try that. He’s delirious and definitely desperate enough.
He pats around for his phone from the night stand, the default lock screen blinds him for a moment as it turns on. He opens the browser then types in that familiar nagging name.
The Twitch page is the first link. Guess I’ll start there. The moment the account page loads a video mid game starts to play muted. Oh, he’s live. Chishiya clicks on the video and is greeted with an ad.
Annoying, fine whatever.
He waits for the ads to pass by familiarizing himself with what the fuck is going on. Watching the quick pace of the chat passing, the description bar says some game title he obviously wouldn't recognize. Then he notices what he assumes is the viewer count. 500,000. Chishiya spares his clock a glance: 1:24 AM. No fucking way. Chishiya knew Alice was popular but it's late, it's Monday (Tuesday since it's past midnight actually) and it's late (early). How are there so many people here watching this late on a Monday night? Chishiya doesn't even know what he's watching yet but he's sure it's not worth staying up this late for.
When the ads are almost over Chishiya braces himself for yelling like he typically hears from behind doors, but instead he's greeted by a thoughtful hum.
“Okay, I think if I do this,” the sentence trails off, as something happens on screen. “Ah ha! And you doubted me chat.” The voice is boyish and teasing as he addresses the audience. The chat speeds up as a notification pops up at the top of the chat feed, a poll with the question ‘Will Alice solve it in the next 2 minutes?’ ‘No’ had the majority but it seems like ‘Yes’ won with some kind of points distributed to the winners. Oh, gambling then?
“Alright mods! Next one shall we? Can I solve the next level in… ten? Minutes? That seem fair?” Chishiya finally notices the live feed of a man on the left of the screen facing where Chishiya assumes is where the chat feed is on his end. He's sitting leaned back in a chair, one arm propped up on the arm rest twirling something long and thin in his fingers. His dark hair’s a mess, bangs hang in his dark doe eyes from underneath his headphones. What really catches his eye however, is his smile. More of a smirk actually, cocky and bright and shows joy in an achievement Chishiya has yet to understand. The joys infectious radiating from the screen to nuzzle into his chest where the numbness originates.
He hears Alice chuckle, watches the smirk stretch into a blinding smile and shifts to lean forward in his seat, “Alright make your choice. No don't pick ‘No’! Come on, have some faith chat! Whatever.” With a disgruntled sigh Alice starts the next level eyes now trained on another screen. Chishiya has no clue what's going on, doesn’t care either, not when there's this look in Alice's eyes. The carefree gaze now turned sharp and focused at the puzzle in front of him. It’s mesmerizing how his eyes dart across the screen taking in details, his smile lessens as he takes it in, muttering possible solutions, hand still fidgeting. Then the hand stops, the smirk returns, and a clever glimmer enters his eyes. In no time at all the problem is solved. Under ten minutes, under five even, the chat rises in outrage as the few who bet ‘Yes’ win again.
Oh. That is intriguing.
Alice is laughing again, “Okay maybe ten minutes was a bit long. Sorry, sorry. We’ll go back down to five. But in my defense the last couple levels took longer!” He's back to this original position, relaxing back in his chair, confident.
Alice's voice starts fading in and out of focus as Chishiya's body relaxes into his bed in a way it hasn't in so long now. His body warms and mind quiets.
God Chishiya is tired.
The next round starts, Alice's mutterings are low in Chishiya’s ears. He still has no idea what Alice is playing. But he's tired and Alice's voice is nice.
His eyes close.
Chishiya doesn't dream.
When he wakes the warmth has dissipated, but he doesn't feel so far away from his body and the vision of intelligent doe eyes and a soft voice lingers.
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It's a month later, a long month of notifying parents of the loss of the patient and vanishing. The man is outside the door again.
Chishiya has yet to join another stream. Coincidentally he also hasn't slept well since. Completely a coincidence, he's sure. He was simply sleep deprived enough to sleep so well that he almost missed his alarm in the morning. Almost.
His chest constricts as he takes the envelope. He can feel his breathing pick up.
Stop that. As the man walks away Chishiya takes deep controlled breaths. Not here.
A voice blooms from under the door behind him. Bright and boyish.
Chishiya suddenly finds it easier to breathe.
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It's one of those nights where Chishiya's mind can't seem to quiet and everything is too quiet and too loud and too much. He can't get his breathing under control and is in desperate need of a distraction.
He doesn't fully process grabbing his phone and clicking on the first link hoping for something. And there Alice is, live, in the middle of a crossword puzzle?
He waits through the ads by reading the description. Yup, timed crossword puzzles. He is strange. There's another poll going too, similar to the last one.
Alice makes decent progress through them, to be fair he gets quite a bit wrong but the questions span quite a large range of information, with quite a few focusing on sports which he struggles on the most. (They also give Chishiya pause, he's never seen the appeal of watching people run and pass balls around.)
He's working on one that seems to be science forward that Chishiya is taking particular joy in completing alongside him. Alice is doing surprisingly well, until he reaches one of the lower rows.
“‘Principle to notice a difference in the stimuli.’ Uhm. uh oh,” Alice grimaces and moves to the next question. Then the next. Until all but the one across question is filled. “Uhh, okay well there's an ‘s’, ‘w’, and two ‘e’s in it?”
Chishiya sees him glance to chat and follows suit to see a flood of exasperated comments.
‘Studied psychology btw 💔’
‘My streamer dumb’
‘This is painful,,,’
Alice does a slow pan to face the camera with a straight face, "Thank you for the words of encouragement chat, really feeling the love.” Then he turns back to the game screen with a heavy sigh and a small smile on his face.
He stares at it for a minute talking to the messages that pop up on screen when the light in his eyes shift, “Oh my god, please,” he types in the remaining letters and the screen lights up with confetti, “Yes! Sub-ten guys that's still pretty good. No, no, don't say cope! I am not coping!”
Chishiya can’t help but smile as Alice argues with his chat. His brows are furrowed and his smile has turned into a pout as his chat makes fun of him and he desperately tries to defend himself. There's no true heat in the teasing, just a practiced back and forth between the gamer and his viewers that allows Chishiya to fall into the blooming warmth in his chest again. Cute.
Chishiya almost throws his phone with how quickly he puts it back on the night stand and rolls over to face away from the offending object.
That's enough Alice for the night.
Besides, he feels calm and tired enough that he's certain he can fall asleep no problem without Alice's voice in the background. That still doesn’t stop him from laying awake for a bit longer in confusion of where such a thought came from.
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Chishiya lasts two whole months before the itch under his skin and the numb void in his chest becomes too much to bear again. It was a ten year old who ran out of time while waiting to be put back on the list this time. The mother was outraged in her grief, yelling and cursing Chishiya and his fellow doctors for failing, for letting him die.
Others tried to console her, passing blame to circumstances out of control, Chishiya supposes it's partially true. They weren't the ones who signed off on the transplant change, but that doesn't stop the blood being on their hands too.
When Chishiya gets home late that night he knows there's no chance he'll be able to sleep. He can feel the cold claw wrapping around his heart and squeeze as his breaths get shallow and rushed.
He crashes onto his sofa, dizzy and head swimming with everything the mother said. Each poison filled insult seeps into his mind. It's all true, and he can't stand it.
He's barely made it through the door and he already can't stand living with his thoughts. His house is too quiet, his mind too loud, and he's already reaching for his phone.
He's been lucky that Alice has always been live when he needs a distraction, though joining late in the stream. This time however Chishiya is early, after the ads roll he's greeted by a ‘Starting Soon!’ screen and an upbeat song playing in the background. The chat is saying greetings, some messaging each other directly and giving their own welcome backs, moderators are sending social media links and stream reminders. During one of the lulls in the song he can hear a background voice hum along off key.
Eventually the song ends and the screen is taken away to reveal a smiling Alice waving at the camera, “Hi chat! Hello! How are you? We'll be playing with friends today.”
Chishiya moved to the kitchen and propped his phone up on the back splash. He hasn't eaten since that morning, far too busy to take a break, and it was finally catching up to him.
He's not really paying attention to what's happening on stream, just that at some point the Tweedles had joined and they're all shouting and reining chaos in the game they're playing. They're having fun and filling the silence that Chishiya dares not to return to at the moment.
He cooks in peace listening to the cacophony of overlapping voices and in-game sound effects. Perhaps he should actually follow the streamers account, then he wouldn't have to worry about not knowing if the gamer was going to stream or not. He's been watching the streams for a while and has gotten lucky enough but luck runs out. Decisions.
He eats, mulling it over, it would be helpful he supposes. The problem however, is picking a username. He refuses to have any obvious kind of affiliation to the account unless someone takes notice as unlikely as that is. He doesn't want it to be completely random though. He sighs, this really shouldn't be so hard. His eyes land on a familiar charm peaking out from his jacket pocket. He doesn't hate that.
The name Cheshire would definitely be taken though, how to modify it. Well fuck, Dr.Cheshire goes through no issue, mildly surprising. He finishes the account and heads back to the stream. He clicks follow, then watches the recent followers update with the alias for a moment then quickly replaced with another. Maybe he should've waited until Alice wasn’t live, oh well.
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Fuck this is getting weird. Chishiya knows nothing about Alice, I mean sure he knows enough to form a basic biased opinion on him. He knows plenty, but it's weird.
Capable hidden genius wrapped up in self loathing. Successful with no recognition or credit given from those who matter to him -- read Daddy issues. And a heart far too big for this world that he wears on his sleeve; for anyone to use.
Chishiya has seen him cry, sob even, over a game; laugh, scream. It should revolt him, someone so chaotic-ly in tune with his emotions.
But he isn't, he finds instead that he's totally enthralled with Alice.
It doesn't make sense for someone to be so many things: sweet, caring, clever, passionate.
And Chishiya? Oh Chishiyas attached. Call it morbid curiosity why he can't seem to get away from Alice. He wants to understand him and why he breaks everything Chishiyas ever known.
He doesn't hesitate anymore when the notification pings in the early hours of the evening, the moment the red “Alice_Lost_Heart is Live” is added to his Twitch page Chishiya is there opening up the stream.
(Perhaps it's concerning that he knows exactly when to check the page now, even without notifications. Knows when Alice will be live, and gets concerned when he's late. Alice is consistent and Chishiya is a creature of habit.)
He never says anything in chat, god no that would be embarrassing -- besides this is research, data gathering if you will, there's no reason for him to interact or get Alice's attention.
That was until tonight.
Chishiya's been home from work for a while; showered, fed, and finishing up some paper work at his in-home office when a ding comes from his phone.
Alice.
He opens up a tab in a new window on his laptop and navigates to Alice's Twitch stream.
It's another puzzle game tonight, thank god, Chishiya doesn’t think he can deal with the loud catastrophe of those shooting games for a second night in a row, especially after the day he’s had.
The stream starts as usual: the start stream song of the day is something poppy but mellow and after it ends the “Starting Soon!” screen is taken away to reveal messy black hair, bambi eyes, and the brightest smile Chishiyas ever seen.
Like Pavlov's dog, Chishiya's body releases all tension at the sight. Fully and completely relaxing into his desk chair, the little work he had left abandoned in favor of Alice.
Alice waves to the camera, “Hi chat!” his vowels are drawn out in his excitement, “How are we all doing this evening?”
Like clock work the chat is flooded with heart emojis and various responses of greeting.
Alice chuckles, “Good good, I'm glad you're all doing well, and if you're not, hopefully this can cheer you up.” Alice takes a few more minutes to interact with the chat as late comers continue to join, he thanks donations and welcomes new and returning subscribers until he switches the screen to capture the game for the night. “I got something interesting for us tonight. I have the honor of playing the demo of a new puzzle game by HareGames called ‘Baba Is You.’ It looks like a word meaning puzzle game I think? We’ll figure it out as we go.”
The game has a cute art style, and the concept of changing the rules to each level in order to find solutions was an interesting game mechanic. He can tell Alice is enjoying himself testing rules and meanings to complete levels with clever efficiency. Even with his focus on the game he effortlessly keeps up a steady stream of thoughts and acknowledgments for chat to keep them entertained.
Watching Alice work though a problem is as mesmerizing as the first time he turned on the stream, he can't help but to fall down the rabbit hole he presents. He moves his laptop from the office to rest on his bed. It's late and Chishiya knows himself well enough that he won't be able to get any more work done for the day now with Alice filling his mind. He changes into an old oversized shirt and pj pants, then brushes his teeth with Alice in the background filling the silence.
Chishiya makes it back to his bed to lay down and drift till the end of the stream. He lays there for quite a while until he's brought back by a frustrated growl, Alice is on what looks like the final level available for the demo. And he's struggling.
Alice is leaned back in his chair, his hands are behind his head and he's swiveling his chair. The look in his eyes is intense as he picks apart every rule, murmurs going over the mechanics and the goal to make sure he hasn't missed a crucial detail. He gives a heavy sigh, “Man this level is definitely harder than the others, big ramp up.” He shifts forward again to move the little character across the screen to push some of the rule blocks around with still no avail. “We’re getting somewhere though chat, I’m liking this setup. I'm just missing something.”
Chishiya hasn't been paying attention to the game so far, more interested in observing and dozing as he listens to Alice work through the problems but at that moment he takes a better look at the game. He catalogs the starting rules, arena, and the goal. It is more complicated than the other levels and the new mechanic the level introduces is confusing for a moment. But the solution is still rather straight forward as far as Chishiya’s concerned.
Alice gets as far as sinking Baba to retrieve a Keke and is now moving around the area testing rule combinations that don't quite work. He’s right, he is close and missing a small detail. Chishiya glances at the time, it’s nearly 1:00 AM, perhaps he's just tired. Alice has been streaming for, god, six hours now. As good as Alice is, six hours of solving puzzles and staying engaging for nearly a million people would be exhausting.
Alice's groan brings Chishiya’s attention back to the small camera feed in the corner of the screen. He's leaning back in the chair again, head tilted to the ceiling, hand scratching the back of it making his chronic bed head worse.
Oh. That's new.
When Alice drops his gaze back to the monitor his eyes are dark with an unamused glare. He's slouched in the chair and tilts his head to rest on his propped up arm. “Fuck.” His voice comes out low and frustrated. “This is really starting to get to me.”
Alice has always been patient, never seen him quick to rage even during games specifically made for it. Chishiya didn't think Alice was capable of getting angry.
But there he is, knuckles turning white and veins on his hands showing due to how tightly he's clenching them, jaw set tight with a frown, and brows furrowed. His intelligent eyes are still trained on the screen scrutinizing every detail when he groans again, “Shit.”
Something hot and fluttery stirs in Chishiya's stomach as he watches Alice.
The hand his head is resting on unclenches and comes to cover his eyes. He takes a breath, holds it, then lets it out in a heavy sigh. The hand goes back to its original position propping up his head but instead of the dark glare Alice's eyes are mostly back to their cheerful gaze. There's a light smile as he shifts to face the chat. “I’m only gonna allow this once,” even though the tension is gone Alice's voice is still commanding, corralling the masses as much as possible for whatever he's about to say next, “Ideas?”
The flood comes, the chat speeds up with everyone vying for attention or recognition with the answer. Chishiya doubts any of them have any idea what to do if Alice didn’t.
Donations increase so that Alice would have an easier time seeing what they were cocky enough to think is the solution. Alice tries a few but denies most flat out knowing they were pointless. (Though said much nicer than what Chishiya thought seeing them. Alice is much too kind to such idiots.)
It goes on for a few minutes then starts losing steam again after the responses become repetitive. Alice is good at hiding it but Chishiya can see how annoyed he's getting again now. It's late, and Chishiya doesn’t think Alice wants to be returning to this game just to finish this level in a later stream. The unruly chat, though his own fault, isn't helping either.
Chishiya is typing out a chat before he realizes. But before he hits send he thinks better of it, a normal chat message would go by too quickly for any good to come from it.
Fuck it.
He opens up the donation panel and puts in enough for the TTS to work, then copies the message that he was about to send in chat. Before he can over think it he hits send.
The stupid voice Alice set for the TTS flows from his laptop relaying his message, “Set Keke has Baba, and sink Keke with the skull. You should get it from there.” It lacks all the pleasantries the other donors usually have but it gets the job done.
He barely breathes as Alice zeros in on the message, rereading it head tilted in thought. A moment passes then a smirk pulls at Alice's lips. His voice is still low, exhaustion finally catching up to the man, “I appreciate your confidence in me, but I'm feeling a bit worn at the moment. Dr.Cheshire huh? Well, Doctor's orders I suppose, let's see where that gets us.”
Chishiya freezes. Oh god what did he just do? He wasn't supposed to do that. He was just supposed to observe, not get his attention! He was never supposed to stay for this long!
Alice's low chuckle snaps him back again, “Damn it, it was really staring at me for god knows how long. I feel like an idiot, at least it's over now.” Alice ends the sentence with a yawn, Chishiya can't help but follow suit.
Shit it was late. He has a shift in the morning and should not have stayed up this long.
“Welp,” Alice's game capture slides off and the screen is replaced with a full screen image of Alice's face camera, “That was fun, challenging, for sure especially that last level. Jesus. But fun. I think I’ll come back to it when the full release comes out. Special thanks to Cheshire for the save. How you figured that out I don't know, but I appreciate it.” Alice is smiling as he says it, the fluttering feeling spreads through Chishiya's limbs. The sensation fills him from the top of his head to his feet forcing the constant numbing itch out of his being.
Nope. No. Chishiyas not gonna deal with whatever the fuck the hot coil or the fluttering feeling means. He has work in the morning.
He doesn't pay attention to the rest of the sign off and doesn't stay for the end of stream raid. Simply closes his laptop and places it on the nightstand then lays down under the covers.
His heart is racing. Chishiya places a palm flat to his chest where it's thumping against his rib cage.
Fuck.
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Chishiya wakes up still tired. Truly it’s not surprising after how long he stayed up thanks to Alice, it’s his own fault really but he can sulk a little about it in the privacy of his own home thank you very much.
The fluttering is still lingering as he gets ready for the day. He's still numb but it doesn't quite reach the edges of his being as it did the day before. His clothes don't feel too tight or too wrong as he changes and the quiet doesn't overwhelm him.
The feeling fades when he arrives at the hospital. The dreary walls and harsh overhead light, freezes any warmth left from his bed that morning.
He clocks in, drops his bag off in his office and switches his white hoodie for his lab coat, then makes his way out for morning rounds.
Chishiya works on auto pilot, greeting patients, taking notes, and he phases through conversations unwilling to linger longer than necessary. He hears some of his older patients talking about the stream from last night, but tries not to engage when his alias is brought up.
God that's embarrassing. He really shouldn't have sent that message, but a small part of him is satisfied at having the right answer. He has to keep it semi-professional, and can't let his patients know he's on the internet in such a fashion. No, it won't happen again.
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He’s right he doesn’t do it again, he gets called out by name this time.
Alice is playing another puzzle game he wasn’t paying attention to as he finishes up some medical document he honestly couldn’t care less about when he hears his name. Well, not his name but username.
“Mods, is Cheshire in the chat? Wanna know what they make of this.” What. Chishiya's eyes snap to the screen he set up with the live feed. Alice is looking at the chat screen with a soft smile that grows at whatever news he's just received from the moderators. Oh god.
Chishiya sent a message one time like a week ago under very specific circumstances, why is Alice calling him out by name. “So they are here? Mind giving me a hand? Since you're a doctor and all.” Again, what? What is happening? Alice didn't seem to be struggling before, in fact his posture is nothing like it was that time. His tone is teasing and his eyes are mischievous.
He looks at the screen and tries to take in what's going on. It's a mini game of sorts, there's medical text and simplified graphics on screen with a question at the top. The question is simple, the answer is quick to come to mind.
Alice entertains the chat waiting for his reply, he could just not answer, pretend to have fallen asleep or have stepped away from the computer. Chishiya really shouldn't; said he wouldn’t, but Alice is asking. The nagging part of his brain that was satisfied from the last time has resurfaced. Okay, fine, Chishiya will play.
He quickly types it out and sends it into the sea of chat, half hoping it never reaches Alice and he can remain in the shadows a little longer. Futile of course because it takes seconds before he sees Alice's pupils dilate and grin widen. “Lets hope you're right.” Oh fuck off.
He is, he knows he is, he doesn’t need a fucking mini game simulating a surgery to tell him he is. However when a green check pops up with a ding showing he was indeed correct he feels a hot spark of pride. Alice turns to the camera grinning, “Thank you again Cheshire,” then returns to his original posture to focus on the game once more with an easy smile on his face. He doesn’t ask for Chishiya again, that's fine, he's more concerned with the hot fluttering feeling that's returned and taken home in his diaphragm. Every breath he takes spreads a warmth through his lungs into his blood stream. His heart is pounding, but not in a way he's used to, he's not scared or filled with adrenaline like he is sometimes at work, he's confused. It's unknown what it is.
He stares at the document he abandoned, Alice is rambling on in the background like he didn't just put Chishiya in a state. It can wait another night. It's time that Chishiya heads to bed.
He gets ready with Alice still on in the background just in case, but the moment his head hits the pillow he's out cold.
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The next time it happens is actually when he's playing with his friends and opens the lobby for the mini games to chat. They do multiple rounds of the same few party games making stupid jokes and answering silly prompts. Alice is queuing up another round of Quip-Lash, screen blacked out, “One sec chat I need to do something before the round starts.”
Chishiya gets a whispered message through the twitch chat. A link, a code, and one of those smiling cat emojis, from Alice. Alice is talking to the Tweedles about the last rounds and what game to switch to after this round to buy time as he waits. His hand is twirling a pen, he's nervous.
Who is Chishiya to turn down an invitation? He puts the username as Cheshire and types the code. The next moment the lobby and code are revealed, the last spots are taken by others in chat.
Alice is thrilled, the Tweedles mildly confused, and Chishiya’s nervous. He doesn't consider himself all too comedic, perhaps joining was a mistake. But pure joy on Alice's face at seeing him join makes him stay in.
Chishiya doesn't win, as to be expected, another chatter does, which is fine. He had one good joke to a prompt with an almost unanimous vote which included Alice so he’ll take that win.
As discussed they switch games, and Alice whispers another code and the same emoji when the screen turns black again. He has this hopeful expression as he stares at the screen, waiting as he thanks a donation message. Chishiya whispers back, ‘No.’ Simple and quick. Once was enough, he doesn't think he can go another round with how distracting the fluttering in his chest has gotten.
Alice pouts live on camera, but doesn't ask again. Those big bambi eyes filled with disappointment almost makes Chishiya take it back. The screen lights up with the lobby again. He closes the laptop with a heavy sigh and heads to bed.
He can’t. He indulged Alice for the one game but he cannot let himself go along with more than that. It would be too much of a risk. He's apparently already too involved with how Alice has asked for him twice now. Chishiya still hasn’t left the ‘What is happening?’ stage of current events. He should’ve ignored the message entirely the first time. He shouldn’t have sent that donation. He shouldn’t have done a lot of things, yet here he is now. Regretting all of his life decisions.
Chishiya wants to scream. God his heart, his lungs, his being is all out of alignment. He lays there staring at the ceiling. When did he become this pathetic, over a boy. A kind, sweet boy who doesn’t make him feel so empty.
He shouldn’t feel like this. It's wrong. It’s creepy. Parasocial to be thinking and feeling such things. He can not be indulging Alice. As much as he wants to keep talking. Are they talking? It's been maybe four sentences said between them, most spoken at him and Chishiya through a Twitch Chat.
He grabs the closest pillow and screams into it and loses control of his limb as his legs thrash beneath the blankets. He resurfaces red-faced and panting.
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He hasn’t joined a stream in a while, can't bring himself to do it. Not since, well he doesn't like to think about it.
It was fine for the first few days. Mainly because he was scheduled for night shifts and by the time he's home it's the early hours of the morning, Alice is no longer streaming, and Chishiya's so exhausted it doesn’t even matter anymore. But then he's taken off the night shift and still just can't bring himself to join. He feels uncomfortable with the potential if he does. He can't trust himself anymore. Can’t trust his mind to stay reasonable around Alice. It never has, he realizes, but that doesn’t mean he can't try to be.
By the first week, the icy claw has made a place in his chest again, numbing every sensation except the insufferable itching beneath his skin. He wants to tear it off, reach under the surface and rip it out.
It has been two weeks when Chishiya has possibly the worst day he's ever had. A patient dies the same day he is given another damned envelope basically the second he clocks in. Then he gets screamed at by the parents of said dead patient. He's scheduled for back to back surgeries (not a problem), gets into a disagreement with a patient's parents (again. They were being stupid, the patient needed medicine but they didn’t believe in the science of why.), then an emergency surgery (a problem) which leaves him no room for a break in between rounds to do any paperwork or have a snack. And on top of all that, he still had to stay late because someone called out sick so he was covering until someone else was able to fill.
Which leaves him here: head fuzzy, feet hurting, and reheating some left overs as he attempts not to fall asleep before he can eat something. He's already changed into something more comfortable but he still doesn't feel right.
He sets up his laptop on the kitchen island as he waits, stream loading in. He doesn’t care what it is tonight, as long as he doesn’t have to think anymore. He doesn’t want to feel the itching and clawing in his body and he knows how to soothe it.
His food is ready by the time the ads are done and he instantly feels a wave of comfort at the sound of Alice's voice. He isn’t paying attention to the words or the games, doesn’t have the energy to process, just focuses on eating and how his home isn’t deafeningly quiet.
He could almost fall asleep right there at the counter. Almost. He works up the energy to put his dishes in the sink, unbothered to wash them, and makes his way to his bed to deposit the laptop. He makes quick work finishing getting ready for bed then flops under the covers taking care to avoid the computer.
He drifts, not quite asleep, not quite awake when he hears his name, “Hey, Cheshire! Missed you last stream, needed your help with a tough problem.” He snaps to attention to see Alice send a grin to the camera, then trains his eyes back on the open world of the game. Fuck, he should’ve known. With how Alice has called him out specifically twice now, he really should have known that once he joins again Alice would mention him. How did he know though, was he waiting for Chishiya to join again? Chishiya does not think about the heat that rises to his face at the idea. Nonsense, that’d be weird.
Shit, is he supposed to respond? It would be weirder if he didn't, wouldn't it? He’ll keep it short. ‘Was put on the night shift for a while.’ That's probably fine, right? Not too personal and technically true.
Alice groans, “Damn, night shift? That sucks, hopefully you can get some well deserved rest now.”
‘If only.’
Alice laughs. He doesn’t address Chishiya again for the rest of the stream. He's fine with that. His eyes are growing heavy again as he listens to Alice ramble about some game mechanic or plot relevant event that happened. He's happy to drift with Alice's soft voice in the background.
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They never talk about anything substantial. A few times after Alice greeted him with a blinding smile asking how he is, Chishiya would respond with something bland about getting off work or tired. It crossed a line, and toeing the edge of another. Chishiya still doesn’t know why Alice started talking to him but the ‘What the Fuck’ feeling has faded. He still refuses to address how Alice makes him feel but he doesn't quite run from it anymore either. Just accepts that whenever he hears or sees the man he feels more at ease.
Alice has become a steady comforting presence in his life that he can't give up anymore. He didn't think he would ever have to as long as the bits of communication they have stayed the way they were.
He's lost in thought as he walks through Shibuya from the train station. He fiddles with the Cheshire cat charm tucked in his pocket as he walks, paying no mind to the commotion behind him he can just hear over his music. When he makes it to the other side of the crossing sparks catch his eye.
Fireworks? That’s strange, why would someone be firing fireworks this early in the morning?
He blinks and the world tilts on its axis then all noise stops. Chishiya is alone in the middle of Shibuya crossing and the world is silent.
For the second time in his life Chishiya is caught completely off guard and doesn't know what to do.
He wanders around looking for clues to where the people went, why the powers out, anything really. All perishable food is rotten and only the old battery powered radios he found in a tech store seem to be working, his phone completely useless. It's nearing nightfall and he's looking for a place to stay for the night when the big screens around the crossing turn on.
‘Game arena’ is the only thing displayed and an arrow pointing to the right.
Answers.
Maybe, hopefully. But is Chishiya curious enough to walk into a possible trap? Yes, yes he is. Something something, cats and their curiosity.
He follows the screen's directions to a run down restaurant that somehow has power. Fuck it.
The moment he clears the doorway there's a ding signifying his entrance. There's a table with phones and a sign telling him to take one, there's another ding as the phone loads up a white screen with further directions to sit in one of the chairs in the circle of five, and loop the noose around his neck.
Well that's more concerning. But he has a feeling there will be consequences if he leaves now. He keeps a straight face as he follows the directions and takes in the other people in the room, each having, like him, a noose tied snug around their necks.
“Registration has closed,” the cheerful robotic voice of a woman fills the room and an overhead screen lights up with captions. “There are five participants. Difficulty: 6 of Diamonds. Game: Blackjack.” The voice continues to explain the rules, play blackjack and don't run out of chips, don't get caught cheating, or its ‘Game Over’. There's also a time limit, and if it runs out everyone gets a ‘Game Over’. The wording is putting Chishiya off, ‘Game Over’ huh? The noose around his neck is heavy with the realization, oh.
He can't help but voice his question, just to make sure. He keeps his voice relaxed and steady, “Hey, do people really die in this game?”
The well dressed woman on his right tuts, “Just our luck, a new player,” she turns to face him, “Yes.”
Fun fact: Chishiya has never gambled in his life. He found it, like most things, a colossal waste of time and resources. He runs his thumb over the charm in his pocket. Oh well, he’ll figure it out as he goes.
And it goes surprisingly well. Even with his significantly lower amount of chips to start with he's able to play relatively safe to gain more leeway and wait out the first two executions, one ran out of chips and hanged; the other got caught cheating by another player and was shot with a gun that was revealed from under the surface of the table.
The man sitting across from Chishiya is aggressive in his strategy to win, betting all his chips to make sure Chishiya, acting as dealer for the round, will lose all his chips if he's unable to make the closest hand. He would be in trouble if he didn't see the man slip a card into his sleeve. Chishiya puts his best innocent face on, “Why don't we make a bet sir.”
“What are you talking about,” his response is angry.
Chishiya just smiles, “I bet you have a card tucked in your left sleeve that you've been holding onto for a while.”
He laughs, “Do you have proof? I'm not going along with some last ditch attempt of a bet when you're about to die. Just get it over with.”
But it seems Chishiya speculation was enough for the game to register an instance of cheating. Both of the lights on the table in front of Chishiya and the woman light up, the woman immediately reaches for the gun that is now available for her to use and shoots the man without fan fare. The only emotion given on her face was disdain as she replaced the gun in its slot in the table. “He reminded me of my ex husband, a master of trickery and yet still a fool.”
Chishiya can't help but agree, the man was a fool. Too loud and aggressive for a game like this. It was easy to see through his hubris then twist it to his advantage. But now it was just him and the woman, she was unlike all the other players. She was cunningly docile as she waited through the chaos the other three men created earlier in the game. He respects her, but time is running out, there are too many chips on the board, and Chishiya doesn't really want to wait to see what being hung feels like.
He turns to the woman, “Why don't we finish this quickly. There's not enough time left for us to necessarily play the game anymore.”
She raises a manicured brow, “What do you suggest?”
Chishiya smiles, not cruel or cunning, just simple as they wait for death, “We draw like normal, cards face down, bet all our chips and leave it to chance who has the best hand. No more hits, just the starting hands.”
She leans back in her chair, “No tricks, no cheating, just Lady Luck huh?”
Chishiya gives a hum in agreement.
She nods, “Very well.”
In the end it was a low number battle, he was kind of hoping for something more exciting like a perfect Blackjack and a number off, but the probability just wasn't on their side.
The table that held the phones on his way in now holds a single playing card, The 6 of Diamonds. The phone dings again when he picks it up, ‘Game Clear. Visa days added: 6.’
He makes his way to a spot he scouted as a place to rest, half way there the sky lights up with streaks of red raining down. Other games maybe? One of the streaks was nearby. He makes a detour to find a man with a burning hole through the top of his bead laying in the middle of the street. He was already in terrible shape, burns and blood covered his body, he probably couldn't, or didn't want to, join a game. Perhaps this is what happens if you don't play the games. When your visa runs out you die.
Play the games and have the potential to extend your life, or don't and die.
Not really a fair trade if you ask Chishiya. But then, when was life ever fair?
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Every so often Chishiya finds himself thinking about Alice, wishing he was still at home curled up in bed laying in the comfort of Alice's voice, but since being brought to this world he has had little time to contemplate such comforts. There is food to be found, games to be played and a cult he was kidnapped into that he has to survive on top of the death games he plays.
It's not all bad though he supposes. He met a girl here, Kuina, who has taken upon herself to become his friend. She can’t keep up with him intellectually but she's strong and nice anyways. Even when he's being absent and clinical, she sticks to him. He finds he doesn't mind (and if he tries not to be so him when with her, it's just because he doesn't want to lose a useful ally, not because she fills up some of the empty hole in his chest).
Still after a particularly taxing game his mind wanders to the messy haired man. He's laying staring at the ceiling as he so often does nowadays wondering about the real world. He's learned that many of the people here found themselves transported around the same time of day but have been in this land for various durations. The concept of how skewed time works here is concerning, but thinking too hard about it makes his head hurt.
He hopes Alice doesn't come here. Hopes he's home planning his next stream unaware of this freak phenomenon.
He wishes he could be there.
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Over the music playing loudly in his ears he hears a voice. That soft gentle sound he uses to destress after losing yet another patient to greed. The voice he surrounds himself in to fall asleep to. His voice.
Alice's voice.
Chishiya barely moves to turn down the music, drowning out most of the sound and looks at the source of all the wrong feelings he's developed in the past years. His source of comfort.
That's him standing in the lobby of an empty apartment building waiting for a death game to start. Alice is here in the borderlands.
Shit.