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Shane loved the summer. That hadn’t always been the case, not that he’d hated it. As much as he loved hockey, it was nice to have a break longer than a few days. It gave his body time to recover from a gruelling season that more often than not stretched into the playoffs. It was also nice to give his mind a rest. He loved Montreal, but he much preferred the lake and woods that surrounded his cottage. It was peaceful and the solitude helped to put him at ease, making it easier to reset for the next season. The main downside to summer had been no hockey, and therefore, no Ilya.
However, that was no longer an issue. Ever since Ilya had joined Shane at the cottage the previous year, summer had become Shane’s favourite time of year. It was just him and Ilya in his fortress of solitude, occasionally joined by Shane’s parents when they came around for lunch or dinner (planned well in advance after last year’s incident). He loved waking up next to Ilya, having sex with Ilya, cooking with Ilya, having sex again with Ilya, working out with Ilya, having more sex with Ilya-
Shane cut his thoughts off there. As much as he loved Ilya, he didn’t want to get sidetracked right at that moment. Shane was someone who loved a plan and currently his plan was to go on an evening run, having been too distracted earlier for his morning run.
“Ilya,” Shane called from the door, “I’m heading out for my run now!”
“Shane, wait!” Ilya called from the living room. He came careening around the corner before crashing into Shane. “I need a kiss before you go, kiss me!” Ilya whined.
Shane laughed and gave Ilya a chaste kiss before pulling back to see Ilya’s grumpy face. “There you go, happy now?” he asked.
Ilya frowned. “No, I need a proper kiss,” he said before attaching his lips to Shane’s.
Ilya deepened the kiss but after a few seconds, Shane pulled back before he got carried away. “Better?”
Ilya sighed, placing his chin on Shane’s shoulder. “Yes, it will do for now. Take care on your run, moya lyubov’,” he said, hugging Shane for a few moments and then letting him go.
“Be back soon!” Shane said as he closed the door and headed off.
—
About 15 minutes into his run, Shane noticed some odd movement further along the track. He slowed down before coming to a stop to cautiously see what was causing the disturbance. He carefully took a step forwards before a trembling call rang out and a loon emerged from the general forest ground debris. He instinctively took a step back before noticing that the loon was clearly in distress.
“Hey buddy,” he said softly, crouching down and slowly moving closer, “is everything alright?”
The loon cried out again, slapping the ground with its wings as it tried to flap them. Shane noticed that one of the wings seemed to be at a bit of an odd angle.
“Oh no, have you hurt your wing, buddy?” he asked, trying to appear non-threatening to calm the loon down. “If you keep moving your wing like that, you’ll make it worse.”
He kept crooning softly, gradually getting closer to the loon so he could take a closer look. While Shane was by no means an expert in broken wings, he’d seen enough injuries from his time playing hockey to notice when someone was trying to compensate for an injured limb. Something was definitely not right with the wing.
The loon seemed to tentatively trust him as it had calmed down and was now cautiously watching him. Shane’s mind raced as he tried to figure out what the best course of action would be. He couldn’t bring himself to leave the loon by itself. With an injured wing, it would be vulnerable to predators such as foxes or raccoons. He couldn’t run back to the cottage with the loon as the jostling movement could make the situation worse and distress the loon.
The best solution would be to walk back to the cottage with the loon. If he was careful, the movement shouldn’t worsen the wing and Shane would hopefully be able to keep the loon calm.
“Alright buddy,” he said, “you’re coming home with me.” Shane took off his running fleece, leaving him in only his overshirt. “It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you,” he told the loon as he slowly reached out to carefully wrap the loon up in his fleece. The loon cried out nervously, but otherwise seemed to understand that he was trying to help and did not try to move away.
Once he had managed to pick up the loon, he cradled it carefully, checking to see that it was okay. “Are you doing okay there? Ready to head off?” he asked. The loon didn’t answer which Shane took to mean that it was alright and he began the 30 minute trek back to the cottage.
As he walked, Shane kept chattering away softly to the loon, reassuring it and trying to keep it calm. Aside from what seemed to be slightly elevated breathing, either from the pain of the broken wing or from being nervous, the loon seemed okay, settling into Shane’s arms as best it could. Shane would usually feel a bit strange talking to a bird that couldn’t understand the words he was saying, but as it seemed to be working at keeping the loon calm, Shane couldn’t bring himself to feel stupid or embarrassed.
Shane arrived at the cottage and somehow managed to open the door without jostling the loon too much. It did cry out slightly in protest when he had to shift his hold slightly to get the door handle, but it quietened down quickly and he pushed the door open using his body.
“Lyubimyy, you are back!” Ilya yelled out from where he was in the cottage, clearly having heard Shane open the door.
“Ilya, not so loud,” Shane called, watching his volume and then cooing at the loon as Ilya’s shout had frightened it slightly.
“Why?” Ilya asked as Shane made his way to the living room after taking his shoes off. “I am happy you are back, I’ve been alone for so long, I thought you had forgo-” Ilya cut himself off as Shane came into view. Ilya looked up from the couch he was lounging on to the loon cradled in Shane’s arms.
“Shanya,” Ilya said quietly, slowly sitting up, “why have you brought a demon into the cottage?”
Shane rolled his eyes. “It’s not a demon, Ilya.”
“It has red eyes, Shane!”
“That doesn’t make it a demon,” Shane argued.
“Then why would it have red eyes?” Ilya questioned.
“It’s not a cartoon, Ilya. Red eyes doesn’t automatically make something evil. Anyway, it has an injured wing, it’s probably broken. I couldn’t leave it out there by itself, it probably wouldn’t last the night, so I decided to bring it back to the cottage.”
Ilya sighed. His Shane, always looking out for others, even Canadian wolf birds with potentially malicious intentions.
“Okay, but why inside?”
“Ilya!” Shane exclaimed, “I’m not going to leave it outside! It’s much safer to bring it inside until we can figure out what to do next. We’ll probably have to keep it with us overnight, I don’t like our luck of an emergency vet being open overnight close enough to us.”
“No, no, no, no, cottage is my sanctuary!” Ilya panicked, “I am meant to be safe from red eyed demon wolf birds when I am inside the cottage! And now you have brought one inside? For the whole night? Are you trying to kill me? Is that it?”
“God, you’re so dramatic,” Shane said.
“I’m not dramatic, I’m concerned!” Ilya replied. “You have brought a wolf bird inside! What if it invites all its friends in too?”
Shane sighed. “It’s not going to invite other loons in, Ilya, calm down.”
While Shane and Ilya argued, the loon was taking in its surroundings from the safety of Shane’s arms, completely unconcerned by the dramatics unfolding.
“I don’t trust its intentions! What if this is an elaborate plot to get to me through you? They know that I am on to them, I will need to go into witness protection.”
Shane groaned in response. “Ilya, you’re not going to be assassinated by a loon,” he stated. “It's got a broken wing and just needs help. There’s an animal hospital in Ottawa, I’m going to give them a call to see what we need to do next. The nearest vet is quite a while away and they’ll be shut by now anyway.”
Shane moved over to where Ilya was sitting on the couch. “Here,” he said, quickly but carefully depositing the loon in Ilya’s lap before Ilya had time to comprehend what was happening, “Just hold it for a few minutes, I need to call the animal hospital.”
“Shanya-” Ilya began protesting before Shane cut him off.
“Ilya, it’s only for a few minutes. Be nice.” With a stern look at his boyfriend, Shane got out his phone and looked up the contact number for the Ottawa Animal Emergency and Specialty Hospital before making the call.
Ilya looked down at the loon. “Don’t bite me,” he told it seriously, “or I will tell David and Yuna that their son has been brainwashed by an evil Canadian wolf bird.” The loon just stared at him. Ilya didn’t want to look away from the demon that was currently in his lap but its stare unnerved him so he looked at Shane instead, willing for the call to end as soon as possible.
Ilya watched as Shane waited for the call to connect while keeping an eye on the loon in the corner of his vision. Suddenly the loon shifted, and all of Ilya’s attention moved back to the bird in his lap. He froze as he watched the loon adjust itself slightly, settling further into his lap. Ilya barely dared to breathe as he heard Shane speak with the vet on the phone.
“... Yes, we can do that. … Got it, make sure it stays calm. … The local vet should be open tomorrow, we can head over first thing. … Great, thank you so much. Goodbye.” Shane ended the call and turned to face Ilya who was looking at Shane in horror.
“Tomorrow?” Ilya asked. “What do you mean tomorrow? Aren’t they going to send someone?”
“Considering the situation isn’t too severe, we’re too far away for anyone to come out. They said that we can monitor it overnight and then take it to the vet in the morning.”
Ilya gaped at Shane for a moment. “Shane, you can’t-”
Shane cut him off. “Ilya, it’ll be fine,” he said soothingly before following it up with, “You’re handling it worse than the loon which may have a broken wing.”
Ilya felt a bit bad. It wasn’t that he wished anything bad had happened to the loon, quite the opposite as he wanted the loon to get the help it needed. But why did this happen to him of all people?
He sighed, accepting his fate. “Okay, so what do we need to do?”
“They said to carefully wrap it in a towel and then put it in a box in a warm, dark area. We need to minimise noise so that it doesn’t get stressed. It’s very important that it stays calm.” Shane responded.
“Do we need to feed it? What would it even eat?” Ilya asked tentatively.
Shane shook his head, “No, they said it’s best not to give it any food or water.”
That made Ilya feel a bit better, he didn’t want to know what was considered a suitable diet for a wolf bird but he also felt a bit bad for it. He knew he would hate it if he was injured and not allowed to eat or drink anything overnight.
“I’m going to go grab a towel and a box. I’m pretty sure we’ve got a box big enough stored in one of the spare bedroom wardrobes. I’ll be back in a few moments,” Shane said before walking out of the living room.
Ilya looked back down at the loon. “I wanted to ravish Shane tonight, but I guess that won’t be happening anymore. I hope you appreciate my sacrifice,” he told it. The loon just huffed and tucked its head into its body, preparing to sleep.
Shane came back, having been able to grab a towel and a box. “I lined the box with another towel to try to make it more comfortable,” he said. He put the box down and then moved towards Ilya on the couch. The loon heard him and picked its head up, crying out slightly as Shane reached towards it.
“Shhhh, shhhh, it’s okay,” Shane comforted it, “I’m just going to move you somewhere more comfortable,” he said as he carefully wrapped the loon in the towel, making sure to take extra care to not hurt the injured wing. The loon continued to cry out as Shane placed it into the box.
Ilya moved so that he was no longer sitting lengthways on the couch and placed Shane’s running fleece on the back of the couch. His movements had placed him back in the line of sight of the loon which stopped crying out and settled down.
“We shouldn’t need to move the box as it’ll be dark soon anyway and it’s quite warm in here,” Shane said. “I’ll stay with the loon, guess I’ll be spending the night on the couch,” he laughed quietly. Shane looked at Ilya who was still cautiously keeping an eye on the loon. “You can go to the bedroom, Ilya. I can keep an eye on things here.”
Ilya looked at Shane. “Are you sure?” he asked. Shane nodded. “I’m not going to get up in the morning and find out that it’s kidnapped you?”
Shane rolled his eyes. “I’ll still be here in the morning,” he said. “I promise.”
“Okay,” Ilya said quietly. He grabbed Shane’s fleece and stood up. “I’ll take this to the laundry, do you want me to make you a drink? I can bring it to you.”
Shane smiled up at Ilya. “I’d love a ginger ale. Thanks, baby.”
Ilya smiled back at Shane and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “I’ll be back soon, lyubimmy,” he promised quietly.
Ilya turned around and started walking towards the laundry. However, he only managed to take a few steps before the loon started to cry out and cause a commotion. Ilya looked back towards where Shane was trying to calm the loon down only to see the loon trying to escape the towel it was wrapped in. He instinctively took a few steps back towards the loon, drawn in by an innate impulse to help when hearing someone in distress. As he moved closer, the loon quietened down and stopped trying to move. It settled and seemed to be content to just stare at Ilya.
Shane tilted his head consideringly at the loon which was calm again before looking at Ilya. “I don’t think it likes you moving away,” he said.
Ilya felt a sinking feeling in his gut as a horrible realisation came over him. It’s very important that it stays calm, Shane’s voice from earlier echoed in his head. “Oh no,” he whispered.
A grin began creeping up on Shane’s face as he looked gleefully at Ilya. “Oh, yes,” he responded. “Looks like you will be spending the night in here with us after all.”
Ilya looked at Shane. “Shanya, no, please-” he began begging, but Shane started shaking his head.
“Nope,” he said, “Clearly, you being around is keeping the loon calm and we need to make sure that it remains calm.” Shane got up and moved over to Ilya, herding him closer to where the loon was settled in the box. The loon tracked their movement as Shane got Ilya to sit down on the floor next to the box. He grabbed the fleece from Ilya’s hands which had gone slack. “I’ll drop this off at the laundry and grab my drink. Do you want anything?”
Ilya shook his head, not taking his eyes off the loon which returned the favour.
“Alright, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Shane doubted Ilya even registered his words as he made his way to the laundry. This was not how he had planned on his evening going at all, but he couldn’t deny that he was looking forward to it. If he told anyone that Ilya Rozanov, an absolute menace on the ice, was apprehensive and a little bit scared of a loon, he doubted that anyone would believe him. Except maybe his parents who have heard Ilya rant about “those suspicious Canadian wolf birds” on multiple occasions.
A few minutes later, Shane returned to the living room where Ilya and the loon appeared to be engaging in a staring competition.
“Have you blinked yet?” he asked.
“Hmm?” Ilya asked, not breaking his stare.
“It doesn’t seem like you’ve looked away once since I left. I think you’ve got a bit of an obsession.” Shane answered.
This got Ilya’s attention and he turned his head to Shane with an offended look on his face. “I am not obsessed with the loon! Why would you say that?” he argued.
Seemingly pleased to have won the staring contest, the loon tucked its head into its body, preparing to get some rest.
“It’s just you seem to have a hard time taking your eyes off of it,” Shane replied.
Ilya muttered something indistinguishable under his breath. “Whatever,” he mumbled before holding out his arms to Shane. “Come here, if I must suffer then you must cuddle me. Only that will help me survive the night.”
“You’re so dramatic,” Shane said as he moved towards Ilya, sitting next to him and pulling him into his arms. “Better?” he asked.
“Better,” Ilya replied.
They sat in silence for a few moments.
“It was watching me,” Ilya said quietly.
“It was observing you,” Shane replied.
Ilya shook his head before tucking it into Shane’s chest. “It’s plotting, I don’t trust it.”
Shane bit back a smile at the man in his arms. “Maybe the loons are plotting to tame you, the great big Russian Menace.”
Ilya tried to sit up, but Shane tightened his arms around him, halting his attempts. “So you agree?” he asked.
“I didn’t say that I agreed with you,” Shane refuted. “However, I’ll make sure that I protect you from any loons with ill intentions.”
Ilya was silent for a few moments.
“Okay,” he said quietly before closing his eyes and snuggling further into Shane.
—
A short while later, Shane disentangled himself for Ilya so that he could go take a shower. Even though he’d only been able to complete a fraction of his run, the dirt and grime from the day was starting to make his skin crawl. Ilya grumbled discontentedly but agreed to stay with the loon until Shane got back.
After finishing up, Shane headed back to the living room. He expected Ilya to either be locked into another staring contest with the loon or scrolling on his phone, but to Shane’s surprise neither was the case. While Shane had been gone, Ilya had clearly gone and grabbed a cushion from the couch as well as a blanket that had been draped over the back of the couch before proceeding to curl up on the floor next to the box the loon was in. He was facing the loon, his face lying next to the box. The loon was also asleep, oriented towards where Ilya lay, its head tucked into its breast.
Shane felt a warm sensation in his chest watching the scene in front of him. For all that Ilya said that he didn’t trust loons or want anything to do with them, he looked quite peaceful sleeping in such close proximity to one. Shane felt grateful that he go to witness this side of Ilya: vulnerable and unguarded. This was the Ilya Rozanov that very few got to experience. Most of the world knew him as cocky and obnoxious, but Shane’s Ilya was soft and sensitive.
Unable to suppress a smile, Shane quietly grabbed his phone and took a photo. It would make perfect blackmail evidence for whenever he needed it.
Grabbing a cusion of his own and creeping up to where the unlikely duo were sleeping, Shane lifted the blanket and slipped in behind Ilya. He wrapped his arms around Ilya and pulled him into his body. Ilya mumbled incoherently for a moment before settling down and grabbing Shane’s arms, still completely asleep.
“Goodnight, baby. Sleep well,” Shane murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of Ilya’s head before closing his eyes and drifting off.
—
When Shane woke up the next morning, the first thing he noticed was that he was no longer cuddled up to Ilya. The second thing he noticed was that the bed was much harder than he remembered it being. Opening his eyes, he was greeted with the living room ceiling. He groggily looked around the room for Ilya as the events on last night came back to him. Looking to his side, he noticed that the spot where the box he had retrieved the night before was meant to be was empty. Before he had time to wonder if Ilya’s distrust of the loon had made him do something drastic, Shane heard the sound of the blender coming from the kitchen.
Getting up, Shane stretched his back, muscles protesting after spending a night on the floor before making his way to the kitchen. There, he found Ilya using the blender as the loon looked on, unperturbed by the noise.
“Good morning, baby,” Shane said.
Ilya turned his head around, smiling once he caught sight of Shane. “Good morning, lyubimmy!” he replied. “Good to see that you are finally awake, I was starting to think that I was going to have to go wake sleeping beauty up. I’m just making you your smoothie.” Ilya finished blending the smoothie and poured it into a glass before handing it to Shane.
“Thank you,” Shane said, giving Ilya a chaste kiss. He pulled away, but Ilya chased his lips, giving Shane a slightly deeper kiss.
“That is how you give a proper morning kiss, Shanya,” Ilya said, smirking at the slightly dazed look on Shane’s face.
“Whatever,” Shane mumbled, taking a sip of his smoothie. “I can see that you had a companion this morning,” he said, gesturing to the loon that was sitting happily in the box that Ilya had placed on a chair next to the kitchen. “Are you friends now?”
“No,” Ilya said. “I just did not want it to wake you up seeing as last night it screamed everytime I tried to breathe.”
Shane rolled his eyes. “Stop exaggerating,” he said. “I think it’s cute that it likes you.”
“Is not cute, is suspicious,” Ilya mumbled, finishing off his coffee and washing up the dishes he’d created. Shane just smiled at his stubborn boyfriend.
“I reckon we should head off to the vet in about half an hour. That way they should be open by the time we get there.”
“Okay, that sounds like a good idea,” Ilya agreed. “I will finish cleaning up here while you go get ready.”
30 minutes later, Ilya and Shane were climbing into Shane’s Land Rover. Ilya placed the box containing the loon in the back, making sure that it was properly secured while Shane got in the driver’s seat. Once the box was adequately secured, Ilya shut the door before moving towards the front passenger seat, intending on sitting next to Shane. However, as he opened the door and started to climb in, the loon started crying out and kicking up a fuss, trying to stand up and get out of the box.
“I think it’s best if you sit in the back, Ilya,” Shane said.
Ilya turned to look at Shane, bewildered. “Why do I need to sit in the back? It can see me fine!” he said.
“Clearly, your friend would prefer it if you sat next to it in the back,” Shane said, gesturing to the back of the car where the loon was continuing its protest.
Ilya heaved out a put-upon sigh before getting back out of the car and climbing into the back seat. As soon as he opened the back door, the loon stopped crying out and settled back down. Ilya was not sure what he had done that had caused him to be singled out by a wolf bird, but surely it was a punishment for something he had done.
Once Ilya settled into the back seat, Shane pulled out of the spot he’d parked his car and began the drive to the vet. “We should arrive in just over an hour,” he told Ilya. Ilya just sighed and rested his head back against the headrest.
About halfway through the drive, Shane looked at the back seat via the rear view mirror. He could see that Ilya was staring blankly out the window while the loon gazed up at Ilya. It seemed that Shane was not the only one who adored the Russian in the back.
“How are you holding up, baby?” he asked. “Not been taken out by any suspicious loons with nefarious intentions?”
Ilya turned his gaze towards Shane, an unamused look on his face. “You are enjoying my suffering, aren’t you?” he asked.
Shane smiled. “A bit,” he admitted. “But I’m sure someone as brave as you will survive this ordeal.”
Ilya sighed and looked at the loon. “It could be worse, I suppose,” he grumbled. “There could be two loons.”
Shane just laughed at his boyfriend and continued driving them to the vet.
A little over an hour after they’d left the cottage, Shane pulled the car into the parking lot next to the vet. “We’re here,” he announced.
Ilya was quick to get out of the car. “I will take the box, lyubimmy,” he said. “I will prove to you that I am a brave Russian who is not scared of a Canadian wolf bird.”
Shane laughed as he also got out of the car. Locking it, he and Ilya made their way to the entrance, Ilya carefully carrying the box. Shane looked at Ilya from the corner of his eyes, before smiling and looking away. He opened the door for Ilya, letting him and the loon in.
“Thanks, Shanya,” Ilya said teasingly. “Such a gentlemen, opening the door for others.”
Shane opted not to reply to Ilya’s tease, instead moving over towards the reception.
“Good morning, how can I help you?” the receptionist asked.
“Good morning,” Shane said. “We’ve got a loon with us that has a suspected broken wing. We found it-”
“You found it,” Ilya interjected.
“I found it,” Shane amended, “last night. I called the Ottawa Animal Emergency and Specialty Hospital who said to bring it in to a vet in the morning.”
“Oh no, poor thing!” the receptionist said. “You’ve done the right thing. If you just fill out a few forms, we can take it in for a look.” Shane took the clipboard and pen that were handed to him.
“Thank you,” he said. He moved over towards the seating with Ilya and began filling out the form. Once he was done, he took it back over to the receptionist who quickly checked over it.
“Dr. Gavia will be with you soon, please take a seat.”
Sure enough, about 15 minutes later a woman entered the waiting room and called out his name.
“Shane Hollander?” she asked.
Shane stood up, “That’s me.” Ilya carefully stood up next to him, still holding the box having not put it down since leaving the car.
“This way, please,” Dr. Gavia said, motioning to one of the rooms down the hallway.
Once they were all in the consultation room, Dr. Gavia closed the door. “So, from what I’ve heard you’ve brought in a loon with a suspected broken left wing?” she asked.
“That’s right,” Shane said as Ilya placed the box on the exam table. The loon looked around the room curiously, but did not seem stressed.
“Alright then, let me take a look.” Dr. Gavia carefully took the loon out of the box, placing it on the exam table, and slowly unwrapped the towel the loon was wrapped in. She carefully extended the left wing and examined it. She gently felt different places along the wing and cautiously manipulated it into different positions. The loon to cried out in pain occasionally causing Ilya to step forward to help before pausing, knowing that there was nothing for him to do.
“I will need to have an x-ray done to confirm it, but from a visual assessment and physical examination, there probably is a break. I can have that done today and then we can begin to treat it so that this one back in the skies sooner rather than later.” Dr. Gavia said.
“Is there anything else we can do?” Shane asked.
Dr. Gavia shook her head. “We can take it from here. We’ll be able to treat it so that the break heals properly. We’ll transfer the loon to a wildlife specialist who will be equipped to properly rehabilitate it so it can be released back into the wild once its back to full health.”
“Are you sure it will be okay?” Ilya asked.
“From what I can tell, it’s probably a simple break.” Dr. Gavia said. “Therefore, I don’t expect there to be any complications and it will be okay.”
Ilya noded in response and then looked at the loon. “You are not allowed to get hurt again, okay?” he told it. “I do not want to spend another night on the floor taking care of you when I have a comfortable bed. Also, I have a reputation to uphold.”
Shane snorted. If anyone had seen Ilya over the course of the last 12 or so hours, there would be no salvaging his reputation as a brash, fearless menace.
The loon simply looked at Ilya before letting out a single soft hoot. Ilya took that as an agreement to his statement.
“Don’t worry, it’ll be in safe hands here,” Dr. Gavia said.
“Thank you,” Shane said, shaking the vet’s hand. “We’ll leave you to it so you can take care of our friend here.”
“Yes, thank you, doctor,” Ilya said. “Goodbye, wolf bird. Stay out of trouble, that is captain’s orders!”
Shane and Ilya left the loon in the capable hands of Dr. Gavia and exited the vet, beginning the journey home.
“I’m proud of you,” Shane said as they drove away.
“Proud?” Ilya asked. “Why?”
Shane smiled. “I know you aren’t particularly fond of loons, and despite being dramatic, you handled it well.”
Ilya looked at Shane for a few moments. “Yes, well, maybe stupid Canadian wolf bird is not so bad. But only that one!” he said.
“It seemed to be quite taken with you,” Shane said. “I can’t blame it, to be honest.”
“Maybe loons like watching hockey and it knows that I am the best player in the NHL.”
“Oh fuck off,” Shane laughed. “And here I was planning on sneaking us through a McDonald’s drive through so you could get a McGriddle.”
Ilya gasped, “No, Shanya! Please, I want McGriddle! I deserve it don’t I? I’ve been very brave and made sure to protect you from loons with suspicious intentions. Please, lyubimmy, please, please, please-” Ilya begged.
Shane just laughed as he took a turn that would take them to the nearest McDonalds. Ilya deserved a reward, and maybe he could have a different reward when they got home. One that Shane would also enjoy very much.