Chapter Text
Holland is nervous after the joyous wedding to you. There’s so much change happening all at once and while he couldn’t be happier, Holland worries about Holly. He can’t help but feel he’s been utterly selfish since falling head over heels in love with you.
When Holland first started dating again, Holly encouraged him and said, ‘it’s literally about time, Dad. I thought I would be married before you would be willing to try again.’
But, after only a few months of dating you, Holland popped the big question and here you are now. The new stepmother. All moved into their place, making changes, learning their routines, and it’s all so new.
Holly has made a few comments that it all seemed a bit fast.
She once squinted over you at dinner and said, 'You’ve only just met my dad, so… Are you going to be like those evil stepmothers I see on movies?'
You had simply grinned and said, 'No. I’ll be worse. I’ll make you cookies and read you bed time stories. Or I’ll remember your birthday and get you Christmas presents. Beware my wrath.'
Holly burst into surprised laughter at that, but didn’t say much else.
Sometimes Holland thinks she prefers to remain a respectful distance. After all, you cannot replace her mother and it will never be the same. You’re very aware of that and have always treated her with the utmost respect. Any parenting decisions fall back on Holland, unless he specifically asks you, and you help out with her in a way that lets him breathe easier.
But what if it is all too much now? What if Holland’s new romance has come at a cost and the two of you don’t get along? The agony of that would rip him apart and as Holland is devoted to Holly, he would have to choose her.
Holly had already lost a mother, he could never let her lose her father too. Even if cost him his heart again.
Well, after a few months Holland has some observations on the matter.
The first few days after you moved in were spent unpacking and reorganizing. Thankfully, the rental accommodated your items pretty well and Holland found it fascinating to see the house transform under your touch. It was the same way when he first moved in with his beloved first wife.
There is just something about having a woman around that lets love and warmth abound.
Holland’s first observation comes after a long shift with Healy. He’s tired, exhausted, already prepared to suffer Holly’s wrath about being gone too long. In the past, she might’ve gone with the two of them on the case.
You put a stop to that pretty quickly once you came around.
In fact, you made it bluntly clear after Holly told you the insane story about the night at the 'whore party' . You were livid. Disgusted. You told Holland that he would be in a world of so much trouble if shit like that EVER occurred again.
So much trouble it would make his fucking head spin.
Holland still winces remembering Holly telling you it. At first, you seemed to think she was joking. Slowly, you realized she wasn’t and gave Holland the scariest look he’s ever seen.
He slept on the couch for a week after that.
Missing woman or not, you did not fucking play about child safety. Holland tried to make the defense that he wasn’t exactly sober at the time. But he regrets it immensely.
You didn’t give one little flying fuck.
So, when Holland walks into the house, he is all ready to be told off or maybe come home to you angry over another story Holly has told.
Instead, voices from the kitchen catch him by surprise. He quietly walks over so as not to disturb and listens eagerly.
'Where did you get this recipe for blueberry bread?' Holly asks.
'My mother.'
'Oh, did she make it?'
'Well, she took it from The Betty Crocker Cookbook. Does that count?'
Holly lets out a giggle.
'Probably. We don’t have to tell.'
'Deal. We’ll take the secret to our graves.'
'Pinky swear?'
'Pinky swear.'
There’s a beat of silence then.
'I used to bake with my mom.'
Holly says it quietly, like she is not sure if that should be a secret.
'Yeah? I bet she was a great cook.' You respond, warmly.
'She was. She used to have a big recipe book, but it's gone now...'
You hum thoughtfully.
'Do you remember what she used to make?'
'Hmm. I think I remember a few things, but my dad might know more…' Holly says unsurely.
Holland’s heart breaks at that. His wife had a huge recipe book that went up in flames. She would have wanted Holly to have it. Unfortunately, fate had other plans.
'Okay, well, we can make a list later and try to create some stuff. It may not be the same, but perhaps it can be a start. If you want, of course.'
'Really?'
'Really really. We can go to the supermarket and get ingredients after.'
'You’re not... like upset that I brought my mom up?' Holly asks, voice barely a whisper.
'Holly, I would only be upset if you felt like you couldn’t. She will always be your mother. Please, talk about her freely. I will never be bothered.'
Holland can’t be sure, but he thinks he hears Holly sniffle a bit.
So, he turns to look into the kitchen now and just barely catches the sight of you and Holly embracing.
It's only for a second before she's pulling away and she’s back to her usual optimistic self.
'Okay. Can I stir now?'
'Be my guest.'
The two of you don't know why, but Holland has the biggest smile for the rest of the night.
The second observation takes place when you walk into the living room one afternoon and announce you’re going for 'maintenance' day.
Holly and Holland were cuddled together on the couch watching her program.
'What does that mean?' Holly asks curiously.
'Well, I’m going to get my hair done, nails, eyebrows waxed, and all that good stuff. Your father is paying.' You say with a wide smile.
'I am?' Holland squeaked.
You toss him a look.
'I-I mean. Of course, I am, sweetie!' He says sheepishly.
Holly looks between the two of you before grinning.
'Can I come?'
You look genuinely surprised, but quickly nod. 'Sure. Are you wanting to do those things too? We may need to discuss it with your dad.'
'Just the nails. Maybe some pink ones.' Holly says with a shrug, as she hops off the couch and goes to stand by you, swaying a bit.
'Oh, that will be so cute. I can never decide on a color.'
'Get pink too. We can like totally match.'
Holland pretends not to notice the way you look beyond pleased at her suggestion. 'A-Alright then.'
You seem to be trying to play it cool, as if a teenager offering to match nail colors with you is no biggie.
'Afterwards, let’s get pizza or something… I like this place downtown that my dad used to take me to…' Holly starts.
Holland watches with wide eyes as the two of you keep talking like two peas in a pod. Holly throws on her shoes and you’re both out the door in a flash. The private investigator now has the house all to himself.
'Well.. What if I wanted to go and get my nails done too?' Holland pouts to nobody, as he is now all alone.
He figures the two of you deserve some alone time, but he is extra clingy when you both finally return home later.
The third observation comes when Holland is driving Holly and Janet to the mall. He can do that now that he’s sober which is pretty basic parent shit. Also, you threatened to cut his dick off if Holly ever drove him around again before she had her license.
He doesn't think you were joking either.
Holland is singing along to the radio and the girls are chatting in the back amongst themselves. He tries to give them privacy, but it is hard not to overhear.
'So, is it weird having a stepmom? Jessica from school says it’s the worst.' Janet asks.
Holly sighs dramatically. 'Jessica talks too much.'
'So what? She’s real.'
'I guess so. But, like my stepmom is pretty cool. She doesn’t try to be my mom, just my friend.'
'How can she be your friend?' Janet says in confusion.
'I dunno. She takes me places and we have fun, but she also remembers me and makes me feel all mushy sometimes. It's' weird, but nice.'
'She sounds like a lot.'
'Totally. My dad is head over heels for her. He does whatever she says.' Holly giggles.
'Your dad is a dork.'
'I know,' Holly says wistfully, 'but he has excellent taste. My mom was amazing and so is my stepmom.'
'That’s good I guess. I hope they stay together.'
'They will, they make each other way too happy. But even if they don’t—she promised she would never abandon me. We would just be a different type of family.' Holly says with confidence.
Janet seems surprised.
'You asked her?' 'Well yeah, I need a back up plan in case. Last week, my dad forgot some anniversary and she cried for like half an hour.'
'Wow. He is the worst.'
'I know. Cis men. What can you do?'
Holland forces himself to stop listening then and manages to hold it together until they all reach the mall. He smiles gingerly when the kids hop out, but in reality, he is a bloody mess.
'Have a good time, be safe!' Holland yells out as the two girls run happily into the mall.
After, it’s all Holland can do to pull over into the parking lot before he’s in a heap of tears.
Fuck.
As much as Holland utterly adores you and the profound joy you’ve brought into his life.. He might just be more thankful for what you’ve done for his little girl.
Holly and Janet will be at the mall all afternoon.
Good.
Holland needs to stop at the store and grab you some flowers, chocolate, and whatever the fuck else he can think of to show you how loved you are.