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One of the things Mia’s noticed is that whenever Elliot wakes up from a nightmare, he never calls for her or their father.
Certain names come up more often than others; the most common are Guest 1337 and Builderman, but she’s heard begs for Chance or Jane or Dusekkar before. Everyone once in a while there’ll be a more obscure one, like Taph or Two Time. Once he called for 007n7, and it hung uncomfortably around their house for the rest of the day.
The point is, it’s not them. She asked him about it once, tried to be all covert and sneaky so it wasn’t obvious what she was trying to do. Elliot just fixed her with a strange look and chuckled softly, taking sips from the glass of water she had bought to him. I did call for you guys a lot in the beginning. Eventually, I realized you weren’t going to come and just… stopped.
Sometimes Elliot launches himself out of bed and patrols their apartment furiously, muttering about how he needs to find the others, they need him, they could be dying right now, why can’t he see them? Others, he just screams and sobs and curls up, reacting to any attempts to help. Some nights he sleeps peacefully. It’s impossible to tell which one it’ll be whenever he settles down to sleep, and Elliot’s offered to move out if it’s too much of a bother for them. The only thing less unbearable than waking up to her brother’s screams was him being gone again, and her father felt the same way. They were both adamant that it wasn’t any trouble at all, and they were here to support Elliot no matter what.
He still hasn’t given them the full details, partly because the Admins were working on releasing a statement and didn’t want sensitive information to become public before that, but partially because he doesn’t know where to begin. Mia only knows as much as she does from moments when he lets things slip or by eavesdropping on Elliot’s conversations with the other Survivors. Some part of her thinks he’s trying to spare her, which is ridiculous. She wasn’t the one who got murdered on the regular for years.
(Elliot went on jogs alone often. Mia asked to come with him this time, wondering out loud why he did so. Elliot said something about keeping himself ready just in case. A habit, one he couldn't shake off. Couldn't, or wouldn't? Mia was a coward. She would never ask.
"Did you know that we had to go hunting for food sometimes?" Elliot watched a squirrel scamper back into the undergrowth of the park. "If we did well, it would give us ingredients or kitchen equipment. If we didn't, it took all of our supplies away. We'd have to go foraging in the woods and I think it knew that, so it didn't spawn in a lot of animals."
Mia never really knew what to say in moments like those. I'm sorry that happened rung hollow; there was nothing an apology could fix, especially when it came from someone who wasn't there. Instead, she nodded. He sighed, beginning to walk again. "The Sentinels were our best hunters, but Taph also made these neat rabbit snares for when we were in the rounds. Me and Noob were usually on checking and resetting duty. I don't think the Specter would've let us die from starvation if it really came to that, but we didn't reach that point. Teamwork makes the dream work, right?"
She wanted to grab him and scream; ask Elliot how he could be so calm about everything, still spouting off cheesy work slogans as if he hadn't been kidnapped and tortured for years. How had he changed so much and yet not at all?
"It's getting late, Mia." Elliot's eyes were distant and glassy, locked on the sun as it sank low into the city skyline. "Let's go back.")
The aversion to night was a new thing as well. Sunset made Elliot antsy, and when it was completely dark out he would turn into a different person. Peeking around corners before he entered, freezing at every little sound, checking the rooms of their apartment restlessly. He had explained before that it was only night in the realm of the Forsaken, sunset back at their home base. Mia had found him muttering to himself on nights like these that he was home, that he was safe. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't. He would usually end up calling over one of the other Survivors, and no matter how late it was someone would show up.
The most frequent visitors were those closest to their apartment, that being Chance and Noob. Chance would drape themselves over the couch as if he owned the place, slinging an arm around Elliot as they chattered away. They always managed to draw a smile out of him, cracking stupid jokes about how if Elliot could loop Slasher for an entire round, then he could definitely handle a few nightmares. Noob was better with the softer side of things, making hot drinks and talking to Elliot about the things they had been doing since they got back. He would listen carefully as Noob described what their cat had gotten up to now that their friend was no longer watching it for them, what new songs had been released since they returned, this cool movie they absolutely had to watch together when they had the time. Elliot always made time for the other Survivors. It was infuriating, in a way.
Mia knows why. They were the only people Elliot had been around for years, his allies in the death games and friends in between rounds. She’s glad he had them. She’s sure if he didn’t, then Elliot wouldn’t be anywhere near as stable as he is today. It’s just- Mia knows how awful she is for thinking it, but sometimes she wonders if he even cares about her anymore. He didn’t confide in her, not about anything meaningful. Whenever Elliot sought out comfort, it was always from the other Survivors first even when she was right there. He always talked about them, how Two Time had been creepy at first but were actually really nice once you got to know them, how Builderman had worked hard to fix up the kitchen after he heard Elliot complaining, how Jane always thanked him after rounds, a neverending list of traits, habits, and memories of the people he held most dear. People who were no longer herself and their father.
Elliot was never dismissive or cruel to her or their father, but he always treated their apartment as if it was about to collapse underneath its own weight. He skirted around the subject of his time in the realm of the Forsaken, curt answers about how he was feeling fine and that they didn’t need to worry. The nightmares would subside with time, and he talked with the others about it. There was nothing that could be done, so they should just let it go.
(Mia nearly had a heart attack when she woke up one night to the sound of their front door creaking open. Elliot was there in the frame, dressed in a coat and scarf despite the fact that it was the dead of night. She had dreams like this before when he was missing, where Elliot would come on in as if he had never been missing at all. Where she tackled him into a hug and sobbed into his chest, and he explained that it had all been some sort of horrible misunderstanding, nothing more than a vivid nightmare. He didn’t look real in the fuzzy light of the hallway, like if she blinked he would disappear.
“Veeronica needs some help,” he had said, not turning around. The keys for her scooter gleamed in his hands. “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Absolutely not.” Mia yanked him by the back of his coat. Elliot didn’t budge an inch, an annoyed twitch at the corner of his mouth the only indication something had happened. He had just got back, and now he was leaving again? In the dead of night, with only a quick note on their table explain why?
As if a switch had been flipped in his head, Elliot whirled around. “You and dad are so fucking overbearing sometimes, you know that? I’m a grown man! I can make my own goddamed decisions, and my friend needs me. I’m not going to leave her out to dry.”
“Can you blame us for being concerned about you? No matter how much you insist that you're fine you're always lying, and when you disappeared-"
"What, I was alone too?" Elliot scoffed. He looked so unlike himself, fists balled at his sides. "Mia, I was the number-one target in that place. I've been running from monsters, ancient gods, and the Adversary themselves. I can handle checking up on a friend for a single day. Just go back to sleep."
"Dad was a wreck after you left, and the only person left to pick up those pieces was me. We mourned you! We thought you were dead for years, and now that you're back it's always about the others, the others did this, the others need me; have you considered that we need you, huh? You don't need to go back to work or be perfectly okay after all of that or- or do anything, you just have to stay! What happened to the brother who always looked out for us?" To say that Mia spoke without thinking would be wrong. She had been carrying these thoughts in her mind for months at this point, jagged and careless as she finally got to dislodge them.
"He died!" Elliot hissed, throwing out an exasperated arm. "I died. I died so many times in that place, and even in the rounds where I didn't I watched everyone else do so instead. Look, I’m sorry. You wanted your brother and a stranger came home instead. Believe me, if I could go back to being the same person I was before all of this I would do it in a heartbeat.”
Elliot’s anger seemed to be deflating as he stepped back and sighed. “Look, I… I don’t know where that came from, but I just need to do this, Mia. I’m sorry.”
Anger still clung thick in the back of both of their throats, thick and cloying. Before either of them could choke on it, the door slammed with a thunderous bang. Mia stood there, stunned, for Admins know how long until a hand was clasped on her shoulder. Her father guided her to the couch. Something hot rolled down her face. Something broke within Mia, and she wailed into her father’s open arms. She must’ve spent an hour like that, eventually dying down to just sniffles. “I don’t understand.”
“I know.” She had always thought of her father as larger than life, head of a beloved restaurant chain, keeping it together even after the loss of their mother. Only now did she realize that she was just as tall as him. Mia shattered all over again.
“I just don’t understand. Why did it take him? Why? Out of all the Admins and the myths and the fucking war heroes and whatever the hell the others are-“
“I know, Mia.” His voice is low and brittle, the same it was after their mother died. The same way it was after Roblox H.Q. ended their investigation, unable to find any further leads. The same way it was on the day Elliot was first reported missing. “I know.”)
Elliot had apologized heavily afterwards, and they accepted it. He was going through something rough, readjusting to reality again. The problem was that the only time Mia recognized her brother was when he was around the other Survivors. He would come flooding back, tired but happy as he commented on how he thought they were never going to make it, how they had so much they need to do now that they were back. The Survivors held meet-ups once every week, and like clockwork they would come through hell or high water. Elliot would always return home with a new determination in his step, more alive than he had ever been around her or their father. She wanted to be happy for him, but it stung and scorched her insides every time he stepped out the door. Some days she bitterly thought that maybe Elliot never should’ve left if he wanted to stay with his beloved others, and her nails would dig into her arm shortly after.
Sometimes she wishes she was there with him, if only to make Elliot stop treating her with the polite pleasantness you show a coworker when they ask you how your day was. He had been there when she was born. He had taught her how to tie her shoes and sat through countless tea parties and got in arguments about who’s turn it was to do the dishes and now he looked at her as if she was a mirage on the horizon, gone the moment he got too close. She wanted to pity him fully or to hate him completely, anything to stop the tangle of emotions lodged in her heart, because there were good days too.
There were days when Elliot asked her if that ice cream place was still open and they walked down to it on a lazy summer evening like they were still fourteen and eight respectively. Once he had asked them if they wanted to play cards and they spent hours trying new games long into the night, and he had smiled and said just how much he had missed them. He saw the sun rise through the blinds of their apartment and cried hard, happy tears at the sight, and it was times like that where she felt like maybe things had changed, but not enough to be bad. Mia was never able to linger in one of his states long enough to get used to it, and she wondered what it was like for him. If it was like that for all of them, those nebulous strangers who were the only reason Elliot was as stable as he was now.
Mia drummed her fingers on her father’s car’s steering wheel. The bumper stickers talking about how his child was an honor student had almost chipped away entirely, and a couple old meter tickets poked out of the glovebox. She had volunteered to pick him up after one of their meetings. It was located in the suburbs, the soldier hosting this time. Elliot had asked her if she didn’t mind. Mia said she didn’t. She was going to be in the area anyway, so why not do her brother a favor? She didn’t know if it was worse if he was unable to tell that she was lying or if he just was unwilling to press. If he knew that she took a peek at his phone while he was napping… well, he didn’t say. Maybe he didn’t care.
(Elliot was still getting used to having a phone again, so it was no surprise that he left it about their apartment. Mia would find it on the counter or his bedside table, and it would always take him a couple seconds to remember it existed. He joked about it doing wonders for his screentime, and now it sat on a small table next to the couch.
The notifications displayed on the lockscreen all came from one source, a groupchat simply named “The Survivors”. Elliot was yet to reconnect with his old friends from before the realm of the Forsaken, and he read any messages from her or their father right away. Mia’s eyes went up to the hallway. Elliot’s door was still shut tight, and their father was out running some errands. He wouldn’t have found the time to change his password, would he? Before she can back out of it, she’s already picked it up and typed it in. The messages app opens up with the groupchat, herself, and their father in the top three but below that are many individual accounts, all linked to names he’s mentioned before. She would love to trawl through each one, but she doesn’t know how much time she has before he wakes up. The groupchat seems the most promising, and she scrolls to the top of the messages from today.
Guest 1337: I really am glad that I get to have you all over.
Guest 1337: Daisy, Charlotte, Matt, and Molly are very excited to meet you all.
Guest 1337: Brace yourself to be bombarded with questions lol.
Chance: no more than my parents
Chance: speaking of which I GOTTA host next time
Chance: what’s the point of having a mansion if you don’t get to flaunt it
Noob: I’d rather do that then try to cram us all in my apartment again tbh
Dusekkar: Your home was quite lovely, Noob. It is of no burden to us if you wish to have us over once more, although I will respect your wishes if you desire to pass up your turn.
Noob: no no I’m just joking
Dusekkar: I see. Pray tell, how has Guest 666 been doing?
Noob: better!!! She’s been adjusting to walking normally again and gets super frustrated when he keeps tripping. Speaking of which, how’s John doing Jane?
Jane: We will have to amputate one of his arms to fully free him from the corruption’s influence, and it’s likely that he’ll be permanently blind in his left eye. His memory has been improving, though. He hasn’t forgotten my name in weeks, and he can recall some of our first meetings.
Taph: 🎉🎉🎉
Jane: I will also have to abstain from hosting. I do not have a stable living space, more various saferooms across Robloxia.
Shedletsky: Man there are so many people here who talk like they’re one foot in the retirement home
Builderman: You’re also as old as the creation of Robloxia itself, you know.
Shedletsky: Doesn’t mean I have to type like it
Elliot: Nice one
Veeronica: AW, LAY 0FF SIR BUILDERMAN AND THE OTH3RS. THEY C4N’T HELP IT (˶˃𐃷˂˶)
Dusekkar: I, for one, find the adherence to proper grammar quite refreshing.
Builderman: Well, at least someone appreciates the years of corporate work.
Two Time: Many thanks to Friend Builderman and the Divine Pumpkin for letting me stay with them! Spawn 15:7 Therefore welcome one another as Spawn has welcomed you, for the glory of the Spawn.
Dusekkar: Do not call me that. And do not put passages in the groupchat.
Two Time: Apologies, my friends!
007n7: Anyway I can’t wait to finally see your family Guest 1337.
Guest 1337: I can hardly believe how big Charlotte’s gotten!
Guest 1337: Is C00lkidd okay btw?
007n7: He’s trying his best. Still got a lot of nightmares, and a lot of the time he doesn’t think he deserves my comfort. We’re working through it.
Taph: Good luck 👍🍀
007n7: Thanks a lot. We are going to need it.
Guest 1337: Me too.
Guest 1337: I punched someone in the face today :(
Taph: 😱
Chance: damn that’s gotta hurt
Veeronica: WH4T HAPPENED ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!
Guest 1337: I thought someone was sneaking up on me and my instincts just kicked in.
Guest 1337: They weren’t too hurt by it, but it’s been rough getting a handle on stuff.
Jane: Do not feel too bad. I broke one of my jars on someone’s face a week ago.
Elliot: me and my sister passed a train yesterday. Freaked out and tried to activate Rush Hour + get cover behind a wall
Elliot: She gave me a really weird look when I tried to explain how Noli worked
Taph: If you are worried about him I will go to your house and set up my traps 💪⛓️💥💣
Taph: He will be blown to smithereens before he can do anything 🎭💥💀
Elliot: I appreciate the offer but please do not put live explosives in my apartment
Taph: Okay 🥺
Chance: no but I get it though
Chance: had to explain to my parents why I kept carrying around my flintlock
Chance: they really didn’t like it
Chance: offered to get me a bodyguard and everything but I said no
Chance: they just don’t get it and I don’t think I can explain
Shedletsky: Brighteyes was kinda the same way
Shedletsky: Felt super bad about it when she asked why I broke off into a sprint and waited around a corner when I saw a bat
Two Time: Worry not, my friends! If you ever need my blade you can call for my help. I will be there as soon as I can.
Jane: Stalwart as ever, I see. Rest assured, the same goes for me. You are far stronger than either of you think you are. Even you, Shedletsky.
Shedletsky: What’s that supposed to mean????
Mia shuts the phone off and places it back onto the side table. Did Elliot think that she was judging him? She wanted to dig deeper, read every message she could until her brother stopped feeling like a stranger but there was nothing she could do to bridge that massive gap of years gone. He had changed, and so had she. He had found a group of people that he loved and that they loved back; so much so that it felt hopeless to even try to compete against them. Mia always was one for an uphill battle. Elliot was here, she reminded herself, and if he really wanted to he could crash at one of their places forever or get his own apartment or run off to live in a cabin in the woods again if his heart so desired. He was trying to make it work with them again, and she would be damned if she let this olive branch slip from her grasp.)
On the side of the street, Mia opens up her phone and texts a short message, saying that she’s here. Lights pour out from the house, and she can see many silhouettes moving inside. She can’t tell who is who from here. A moment later, her phone vibrates.
Elliot: Come on in
Elliot: There’s food and the others want to meet you
Elliot: I hyped you up a lot in the realm of the Forsaken lol
The car stills, door clicking shut behind her as Mia leaves. The night sky stretches up above her. Elliot talked about how the stars in there were different. Like pinpricks. Too precise to be real. But here, here you could see the constellations even with all of the smog and light pollution. His finger had traced the shape out like they did when they were kids, pointing out the Big Dipper. Young and dumb, with the whole world ahead of them. It would take a bit of catch-up, but it was still waiting for them.
Mia opened the door.