Work Text:
~X~
Hoseok sighed for the nth time as he weaved his way through the throng of people, eyes wide and searching for his roommate and best friend Kim Taehyung who he’d lost in the tightly packed crowd. They were witnessing one of summer’s biggest concerts that featured a number of their favourite artistes of which they were huge fans and during the intermission, they’d been separated by the shifting mass of busy bodies; majority of them trying to gather around the wide stage in hope of getting a closer view while the rest were dancing to the music blasting from huge speakers set up at each side of the stage as well as around the open venue that was being provided during the break. The sun had long set, bringing out the inky night sky shrouded by traces of smoke from the fireworks which had been launched when the concert had just begun. Hoseok silently cursed the dim, poor-in his humble opinion-lighting in the venue because it just made it that harder to find the other male especially since it was already dark out.
Grimacing, the dancer bumped into sweaty bodies who couldn’t get their bearings straight and threw him curveballs with respect to their directions; he knew a drunk’s movement could never be predicted especially with all the first-hand experiences he had. Thankfully, he’d decided to stay sober due to the fact that he was the designated driver else he’d have been just as wasted as the other concert goers and his friend would’ve probably found him unconscious and stepped on somewhere in the middle of the crowd because when he drank, he never held back. Hoseok sighed once more, bottom lip wedged between his teeth as he finally accepted that the predicament he found himself in was basically his fault. If only he hadn’t ‘accidentally’ let go of Taehyung’s hand but he did and it was all because he was weak willed and couldn’t keep his heart in check; his heart that had a mind of its own and wouldn’t stop trying to break free from his chest so technically it wasn’t his fault he thought, trying to reason with himself although he knew he was fighting a losing battle.
“Tae!” He called out loudly voice cracking each time as he shouted, trying hard to compete with the noise of the crowd and the music thundering through the speakers only to fail miserably as he continued his search; ducking under flailing arms and swerving around unstable bodies. A thin sheen of sweat coated his body, sticking his washed out red hair to his forehead and his clothes to his body uncomfortably. The humidity had his skin feeling itchy and Hoseok secretly wished that rain would fall if only to expel the heat radiating off warm bodies and cool both him and the place down before he melted.
As his fruitless search went on, guilt slowly started picking at his conscience, growing heavier as he drowned deeper into the mass of moving limbs, sweat and alcohol. Kim Taehyung was Hoseok’s childhood friend-ever since they were toddlers-as well as the object of his affections although the younger, by just one year, had yet to know because Hoseok was a chicken who was afraid to put himself out on a limb and confess his feelings due to the fact that he knew said feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated by his best friend. Trying to find Taehyung was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, Hoseok concluded to himself after a while, running a hand through his hair to get it out of his face. To be truthful, he didn’t need to desperately search for his best friend like he had been doing because he knew the boy would be fine without him. Of course he would.
Taehyung was a spritey, easy-going, extremely friendly and an easily loved person so Hoseok know that by the end of the concert he’d have a long line of friends willing to take him home. He didn’t need Hoseok with his old hand me down ride and if he had to be honest with himself, Taehyung didn’t need him at all but Hoseok needed him. People always compared Hoseok to the sun but the inaccuracy of that was almost laughable because Taehyung was the real sun and he was just glad he could be one of the planets in his best friend’s orbit. He was only the moon, feeding of the brightness and light from the sun; from his Tae. A pseudo sun.
Taking a break which entailed him standing in one place for a solid minute, the young man took a deep breath as he felt panic beginning to settle in the pit of his stomach. What if he couldn’t find the other? What if Taehyung didn’t remember where he parked? What if the boy never returned home? He hated being away from Taehyung for too long; it made him antsy and restless and he always fooled himself into believing it was because him and the younger were always together and that he was only worrying about his best friend like a best friend should especially since he was the older one but Hoseok very well knew that it wasn’t and that those feelings stemmed from somewhere else. He just didn’t want to face the fact that he was head over heels, teetering of the edge in love with his best friend, and that his need and want for the younger was as real as his dancing skills because he knew anything that crossed the border of friendship could or would never happen so he’d started living in denial the minute he found out what his feelings meant. Even so, it was hardly any use as he’d been told by their friend Park Jimin who also went to high school with them that those same feelings were blatant; practically written in bold letters on his face for everyone to see. And everyone did. Everyone except Taehyung because although the younger was smart, he was a little dense when it came to stuff like that as far as Hoseok could remember and the older quite liked it that way because it gave him ample time to prepare himself for a rejection he was never going to get unless Jimin spilled the beans since he was not going to say a word. Jimin was right, he was a coward although he liked to term it as ‘playing it safe’.
It was only when he left for university after graduating high school did Hoseok realise that the feelings he harboured for his best friend went beyond the line of friendship and stepped into something unexplainable filled with strong longing and hidden desires; feelings that made him feel like he was being anchored to the bottom of the ocean, drowning yet remaining afloat. Not knowing what to do with that revelation yet not wanting Taehyung to find out at the same time led him to inadvertently cut off contact with the younger. He’d stopped calling and when the boy took it upon himself to call and Hoseok didn’t hang up the call, he’d give some lame ass excuse that he was studying or too busy to talk and soon the calls stopped from both sides. It was hard for Hoseok, he who loved talking to his best friend; he who always found himself staring at the familiar number debating whether or not he should call before deciding against his heart’s desires and throwing the mobile device aside; he who would still ask his parents or Taehyung’s parents whenever he spoke to them how the other was doing because he wanted to know what the younger was up to without talking to him directly until he could get whatever he was feeling under control and out of his life but it wasn’t that easy.
It really wasn’t.
Even more so when Taehyung himself showed up at his dorm room a year later sporting his signature rectangular smile that made Hoseok’s stomach flip and announced that he would now be attending the same university and that he was going to be his new roommate as Hoseok’s old one had dropped out during the second semester of his first year. Hoseok had tried hard, so hard to forget about his feelings, to move past it although he secretly craved and yearned for his best friend and Taehyung had just crushed what little progress he’d made, singlehandedly and effortlessly. He hadn’t known if to be shocked, angry or even amused so he’d just stood there in the doorway gaping as his best friend pushed past him with one suitcase in hand and waltzed into the room like he’d been there a thousand times; like he owned the place, flopping down onto Hoseok’s bed with a satisfied sigh and a small ‘I’m home’ that the older couldn’t make sense of.
“Why are you here?” Hoseok had asked after a while of just staring, when his brain had finally decided snap out of its momentary stupor and function somewhat normally.
“What do you mean ‘why are you here’,” Taehyung mimicked his voice and by hell, Hoseok couldn’t help the small smile that crept onto his face at his best friend’s fail as he properly looked at the younger who he hadn’t seen in an entire year. Ignoring the pounding of his heart and the clamminess of his hand, Hoseok noticed that the boy had grown taller-he was now about Hoseok’s height or a little taller- and his voice had gotten deeper, his voice that was leaving Goosebumps skittering across Hoseok’s skin that he knew was probably flushed red. Taehyung’s hair was also a silvery purple and he vaguely remembered saying he’d loved that colour and telling the younger that it would really suit him well back in their first year of high school with Taehyung promising that he’d dye it like that one day for Hoseok to see.
“It was a promise wasn’t it?” Taehyung said, playing with some strands of his fringe that was falling right above his eyes and Hoseok snapped out of his thoughts to see his best friend grinning at him. He’d been caught staring.
“Does it look as good as you imagined? I wasn’t sure if the hair stylist got the colour you envisioned but-”
“Better…it looks better than I imagined.” Hoseok heard himself saying, walking up and reaching out to touch it but stopping himself just in time, stepping back a little to put enough space between them. If this went on he was sure Taehyung would find out about his feelings and he didn’t want that to come in the way of their friendship, he didn’t want it to ruin what they had. That bond was special to him. Nobody got him like Taehyung did.
“Really? Well that’s a relief. I was afraid you wouldn’t like it or that you’d change your mind about this colour looking good on me…” He chuckled and Hoseok’s stomach flipped again, convulsing unnaturally the way it did only when the younger was involved. This needed to stop or else he’d be in trouble, Hoseok thought, clearing his throat and trying his best to school his emotions. Still, he couldn’t believe that the boy remembered that promise from so long ago.
“When it looks that great? Don’t you think it looks good on you, Tae?” He asked the boy with a smile and Taehyung mirrored his action.
“I think it does but my opinion isn’t the one that matters…” He replied, eyes focused on Hoseok who only laughed.
“What is that? Your opinion should be the only one that matters,” He told the younger, shaking his head lightly and missing the way Taehyung’s face fell just a little. A pregnant silence settled over them and Hoseok felt the awkwardness seeping into his bones. This was all his fault, he needed to get rid of those emotions. Just when he’d had enough and was about to excuse himself under the pretence of going to the library to get a book he needed in order to do his homework, Taehyung spoke in a voice so soft, sounding so vulnerable and hurt that Hoseok felt like such a douche.
“Hyung, did I do something wrong? You were avoiding me for the past year weren’t you? Did you get my messages? If I did something to make you angry, tell me so I could fix it…I hate feeling like we have this giant wall between us…we’re best friends aren’t we?” The younger had been looking at his hands all the while and only when he’d asked if they were best friends did he look up at Hoseok, eyes searching; trying to gauge a reaction and Hoseok silently prayed he had none to give. He swallowed hard, mouth feeling dry and heart drumming loudly in his ears as nerves took over his body. He’d hurt Taehyung. He’d hurt the younger by pushing him away to selfishly save himself from getting hurt. He’d thought he was doing a good but it was backfiring in the form of regret that was weighing him down with guilt.
“Tae, you didn’t do anything wrong…it’s all my fault…I’ve just been extremely busy with school and I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to hurt you and of course we’re best friends, we’ll always be best friends.” He apologised but even that wasn’t enough to expel the guilt nor was that situation enough to help him get over his feelings. “Look, why don’t you unpack and make yourself at home…I have to go down to the library so I’ll see you when I get back up…” He lied through his teeth, tasting the bitter taste of it on his tongue as he all but bolted out of the room because he needed to breathe, desperately so. He needed to organise his thoughts and feelings if this living arrangement was going to work; if this friendship was going to last.
By the time Hoseok had reached back to the room-he’d make sure to stay as long as he could in the library before moving to the dance studio-Taehyung was asleep just as he’d hoped and the position he was in with his foot on the floor and him on his side, the older knew that the boy had waited up for him until sleep won. Swallowing, he stared at Taehyung’s sleeping form; long lashes caressing cheeks, mouth slightly parted as he breathed softly through pink lips. With a smile, he touched the boy’s nose marked with the cutest little mole that Hoseok loved, that he’d tell the younger he loved when they were younger and his words never had thought behind them like they did now; free and unconcerned; pure and honest. Catching himself just as his hand was about to rest on Taehyung’s cheek, he pulled back silently scolding himself and strengthening his resolve before he fixed the boy properly on the bed and covered him with one of his coverlets because leave it to Taehyung to forget to bring coverlets although his mother must’ve reminded him a dozen times.
Hoseok had awaken the next morning to hot breaths fanning his neck with a hand and a leg strewn lazily across his body and he froze, brain on overdrive for a person who’d just awaken, to figure out what the hell was going on. When he’d finally started thinking rationally because he was never a smart one right after waking up and realised what was happening and who was the culprit, a blush covered his face and his body heated up because the intruder was none other than his best friend. Panic had settled in right after his revelation.
“W-w-w-what are you-why are you in my bed?” He stammered trying to keep his cool that was slowly slipping away from his grasp as he moved to the far end of his bed effectively waking Taehyung up in the process. The boy groaned before sitting up slowly, rubbing his half opened eyes that were staring blearily at Hoseok.
“Hyung? Why are you in my bed?” He’d asked, genuine confusion in his voice husky with sleep and the older in question would be lying if he’d said that it wasn’t doing things to his body.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Hoseok countered distractedly, eyes staring pointedly at Taehyung’s bed opposite them to draw his point as well as to stop himself from staring at the younger’s exposed and well defined torso. When had he taken off his t-shirt, he wondered idly. Taehyung looked around slowly before it dawned on him and he laughed sheepishly, hand scratching the nape of his neck.
“How did I end up here? I don’t even remember,” He said, index finger tapping his chin gently as he seemed to be trying to recall how he ended up on Hoseok’s bed and he looked so adorable, the older had to look away once more. “Sorry hyung, I don’t seem to remember but don’t worry, it won’t happen again. Your bed is already small as it is,” Taehyung chuckled and he only smiled awkwardly because he was trying not to think about the boner growing in his pants with the way his friend was biting his lips, face apologetic.
“Anyway, I’m going to take a shower, I have an early class,” He lied, dragging himself off the bed and heading straight for a cold shower to calm his raging hormones. This living arrangement was going to be hard, he thought with a small sigh. And he was right because the next morning he awoke to the same situation; Taehyung’s breath on his neck and limbs sprawled over his body and it would go on to become a habit; a habit that would be the death of him. A habit that would have him jerking off in the bathroom minutes later and avoiding Taehyung the rest of the day because the weight of his guilt was heavy and he was sure the younger would find out about everything. It turned into a routine; a cycle. Although he’d wake up with Taehyung next to him every morning he was back to pushing the younger away and he was regretting it but there was nothing he could do. He was sure it was for the best for them both, for their friendship until one night he’d stayed back dancing late in the studio and Taehyung had joined him like he always did when they were younger. They’d danced until they were sweaty bodies lying on the floor and reminiscing about their adventures as children and then teenagers and Hoseok realised with a sense of longing that he missed their friendship. The friendship before everything; the friendship without restrictions and afterthoughts; the friendship without overthinking or guilt. He missed being with Taehyung like that, just he two of them talking and laughing at nothing in particular yet at everything under sun. He decided then that it really was about time he tried his hardest to move on so as not to jeopardize their friendship further, so as not to lose the special bond that they had.
“Hyung,” Taehyung had called out to him after one of their bouts of random laughter, chests heaving up and down as they tried to catch their breaths.
“Hmm?” He turned to look at his best friend with a smile.
“For one of my classes we were tasked with the composition of a song, lyrics and everything; Jimin, Kookie and I…” He began, eyes moving from Hoseok to the ceiling thereby missing the frown that marred the elder’s face for the briefest moment. Jeon Jeongguk. The person responsible for rousing a jealousy and possessiveness that Hoseok didn’t know he had within him. He hated the way Taehyung would sidle up to the younger boy, or get too friendly with him and it made him gain a strong dislike for the kid. The kid who was known as a genius in their university, being the youngest person to attend the school as well as an unusually musically gifted genius. Everyone called him the Golden Maknae but to Hoseok he was the enemy. He knew he was being extremely unreasonable and unfair because firstly; he didn’t personally know Jeongguk and he wouldn’t even try to get acquainted with the younger boy and also because he had decided to give up on his best friend so if the boy liked the genius he shouldn’t have any problems. But the problem was that he did.
“Go on…” Hoseok encouraged softly, trying not to think too much about Jeongguk when he noticed that his best friend seemed nervous all of a sudden. Taehyung had a wonderful singing voice and the low baritone of his actual voice made his singing voice all the better and Hoseok was proud that his best friend was following his dreams with respect to music.
“Well I wanted you to hear what we came up with so far and you’ll tell me what you think…if it’s okay with you of course…” Now that was weird, Taehyung never behaved so shy and nervous around him and Hoseok smiled. It must’ve been because this wasn’t any random song but an original composition, he concluded finding himself enjoying how cute his best friend was being. Cuter than usual.
“Of course it’s okay with me, silly…” He replied, ruffling the younger’s hair and chuckling softly when it stuck out in a multitude of directions. Taehyung pouted at Hoseok’s action before he took some deep breaths and soon enough he was singing, eyes fixed on the ceiling above and face twisting with emotions that were the basis of the song; hurt, love, regret and loss. The song spoke to Hoseok on many different levels, all levels which included the purple haired boy next to him and as he listened he felt tears prick at the back of his lids and he looked up at the ceiling to try and keep them from spilling. The song was as beautiful as it was sad; as painful as it was a masterpiece. He blinked a few times to dispel the water from his eyes when Taehyung finished and then proceeded to turn to the boy with a smile.
“It was beautiful…did you write it?” Taehyung seemed extremely flustered, a blush on his face as he averted his eyes, staring at everywhere but at Hoseok. Had he seen the tears in his eyes?
“Umm…I-no...I only helped a little…Jimin and Kookie are the real masterminds behind the lyrics…it’s uh…it’s not completed yet though, this is as far as we’ve gotten,” The younger replied and Hoseok furrowed his brows because he knew Taehyung was lying about the lyrics especially with the way he refused to look at him. From his deductions it was his best friend who was the mastermind behind the lyrics and Jimin and Jeongguk were only the helpers. Why would Taehyung lie? Was it because he didn’t want to make people think that he did all the work? Whatever the reason, Hoseok didn’t pry. The boy would tell him on his own time.
“Does it have a name?” Hoseok opted to ask and Taehyung finally looked at him, rectangular smile splitting his face.
“Love is not over.” He replied proudly and Hoseok guessed that the younger had even named it.
“Well it’s a beautiful song with really deep lyrics…I love it,” Hoseok told him and Taehyung’s face brightened up even more.
“You do?! That’s great…I wasn’t sure if you’d like it or not so I was a bit nervous…” Taehyung laughed airily and Hoseok smiled.
“You don’t like it?” He queried curiously, sitting up and watching as his best friend mirrored his action.
“I do, of course I do but my opinion isn’t the one that matters…” He’d answered, gaze heavy as he stared at Hoseok causing the elder to look away nervously.
“There you go again with that. I told you, your opinion should be the only one that matters and well in this case, Jimin’s and Jeongguk’s.” He had said bumping shoulders with the younger as he shook his head with a smile muttering a small “You’re so weird sometimes.”
Hoseok frowned. Now wasn’t the time to be digging through memories from six months ago, he berated himself as he put an end to his little ‘break’ and tried his best to survey the area. Pushing his hair back as he tried and failed to get it out of his face, Hoseok kept an eye out for signs that would indicate his best friend’s presence in the sardine can. He was just about to run out of hope when suddenly his eyes spotted an audience condensing at a particular spot amidst the crowd a few meters away from him and with newfound hope, he began making his way over, not a doubt in his body that his best friend was either the cause of the crowd or a part of it.
When Hoseok finally reached his destination slightly tired and a little aggravated, he wasn’t surprised to see Taehyung at the centre of all the attention and a smile spread across his face before it was dropped and replaced with a scowl as he took in the bigger picture and not just his best friend. Taehyung was in the centre of a circle of people, earning hoots from the crowd as he danced to the music from the speaker but that wasn’t what had Hoseok’s aggravation boiling down to a simmering rage. What had him fisting his hand and clenching his jaw was the person that his best friend was dancing with; Jeon Jeongguk. They were facing each other, bodies close with Jeongguk’s hands gripping on to Taehyung’s waist as they moved together; bodies swaying and riding the rhythm of the song that wasn’t even registering in Hoseok’s ear anymore. All there was, was a dull and eerie silence and something that was clamping down on his heart painfully. He was fully aware however, of the humiliating jealousy taking siege; the jealousy that was fuelling his baseless anger and hurt because firstly; Taehyung wasn’t even his so he had no right to be feeling this betrayed or this angry and secondly; Taehyung didn’t need his permission for anything. Therefore, if the younger wanted to be forehead to forehead with Jeongguk while staring into the other’s eyes and smiling that beautiful rectangular smile like he was doing, then he could. It had absolutely nothing to do with Hoseok. It didn’t matter that they were best friends and it didn’t matter that Hoseok was in love with him because he didn’t know and even if he did, would anything be different? He vaguely remembered Jimin telling him he was an idiot and for the first time, Hoseok agreed. Suddenly, Taehyung switched positions with Jeongguk so that he was facing Hoseok and when their eyes met, the younger’s smile disappeared and the elder wondered briefly what his face must look like to be able to make his best friend lose his smile that quickly; his precious, beautiful smile.
“Hyung…” Taehyung said and Hoseok didn’t hear the word because of the loud music but he read his best friend’s lips, said best friend now making his way over to him but Jeongguk tugged at the boy’s sleeve, stopping him in his tracks and that action felt like a slap to the face. Hoseok didn’t know what hurt him more; the fact that Taehyung chose Jeongguk over him; or the fact that this was probably all his fault. He hurt himself and now he was probably hurting Taehyung all over again, he thought eyes trained on the two who were now speaking, rapidly from what he could tell. It was painful to watch and with that, he began retreating with frustrated and angry steps. He was angry at himself and now, he was angry at Taehyung. He’d spent God alone knows how long trying to find the his best friend while the younger didn’t even give a damn about finding him and chose to settle and dance with Jeongguk instead. He wanted to get out of there; he needed to get out of there because if he didn’t and his best friend decided to come after him, he’d say things that he didn’t mean and he knew he wouldn’t be able to compensate for the damages in the aftermath. He didn’t want to destroy what he and Taehyung had; he didn’t want to break it. But what if he already did? What if that was the reason why Taehyung chose Jeongguk over him? What if they’d already reached the expiry date of their friendship? With those thoughts, Hoseok felt his breath hitch and tears stinging his eyes, his previous anger dissipating only to be replaced with a mortifying ache and a devastating desperation in his heart. A desperation to save what he’d lost but knowing that he couldn’t. He could hardly breathe as he pushed past people not caring for the curses they threw at him as he bumped into them or shoved them out of his way. His heart was pounding against his rib cage erratically and he felt as if he was suffocating. Maybe this was his punishment for his selfish dishonesty.
By the time Hoseok walked out of the concert venue, his face was wet with tears he didn’t know he’d shed and his breathing was ragged and heavy as he walked past lines upon lines of vehicles all belonging to his fellow concert goers. He was lucky he’d thought to park his car a good distance from the venue, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to leave.
“Hyung!” Hoseok heard the unmistakable voice belonging to Taehyung somewhere behind him, the music from the concert now only an echo in the far distance. Of course he would’ve followed him. This was his punishment and the universe must’ve been getting a kick out of torturing him in this way because Hoseok knew the punchline was nearing. Swiping at his eyes in frustration, he sped up because he knew he wasn’t ready to face his best friend but he knew he was only being stubborn trying his best to prolong the inevitable. He just wanted to get home a fast as possible, crawl under the covers and forget everything even if it was only for one night. He just needed a little more time to prepare himself. When a hand abruptly caught his wrist just as he neared his car, he knew that there was no way he was going to get ‘time’.
“Hyung.” Taehyung said and Hoseok swore he heard desperation in the boy’s voice but he dared not turn around because he was afraid of what he’d see marring those beautiful features, he was afraid of the guilt that would drown him and lastly he was afraid of what would happen if he did.
Mentally preparing and steadying his voice as best he could to not give anything away, he spoke, “You’ll miss the rest of the concert if you stay here.” Proceeding to shake off the hand that clutched on to his wrist before continuing en route to his car that was in his line of sight.
“It’ll be pointless going back, you’re my ride home remember?” Taehyung argued, voice sounding strained and slightly hesitant like he wasn’t sure how to thread this conversation and Hoseok didn’t blame him because he didn’t know either. He was walking on eggshells with everything he said and did at this point on and he was glad that Taehyung felt the same way as well. But how could the boy know that extra care needed to be put into this exchange? Did that mean the younger knew? Everything? That was the only explanation he could come up with for the reason the other was proceeding into this conversation with caution. He’d failed to keep his feelings in check and now he was going to get a rejection that would follow up with awkwardness and zero friendship. He did this himself.
“I’m sure you can get a ride home from your friend, can’t you? You’ve been excited for this concert since I bought the tickets, don’t let me spoil it for you,” He said hastily, trying to ignore the way his voice began to waver mid speech. Everything was on overdrive, his mind was befuddled and the only thought registering then was that he needed to get as far away from Taehyung before the rejection, before he exploded with his jealousy and fucked things up even more because truth be told, things between him and his best friend hadn’t been all that swell lately and he’d proposed the idea of going to the concert in hopes to expel the tension; the tension that was created by him; the tension that was an effect of Jeongguk. He never wanted things to be this way.
“Spoil it? This concert would be pointless without you, hyung. Don’t you know that?” Taehyung sounded so small when he spoke it was almost hard to believe that his voice was lower that Hoseok’s ex roommate’s GPA hence the reason he needed to drop out. “…and I can get a ride home from my friend, hence the reason I’m here, following you to your car…” He added after and the elder knew that his best friend was trying to expel the tension. It didn’t work.
“It didn’t seem like that to me,” Hoseok said bitterly, regretting it soon after because this was what he was trying to avoid. This was what he was trying to prevent by escaping as fast as he could. He knew, goddammit he knew that it was only going to go downhill from there.
“Are you talking about Jeongguk? Hyung we were just-” Taehyung cut himself off so abruptly, voice wavering. “…do you really want me to go home with him?” He then asked and Hoseok froze at the question that was basically challenging him, leaving him with only three options; the truth, a lie or the last one which he chose, say nothing. Whoever came up with the saying that the truth would set you free was a liar and a complete idiot. All he did was sigh in resignation and popped the lock of his car allowing them both to get in. Soon, Hoseok was on the freeway driving back to the dorms with a pregnant silence and an almost tangible tension settling between him and his best friend. He still had yet to look at Taehyung who was unnaturally quiet and he knew it was only a matter of time before the boy spoke because he couldn’t stand quiet. It was the same for him. His palms were sweaty as he gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were ghostly white and his nerves were having a field day, anxiety creeping up on him.
“I’m tired…” Taehyung said suddenly, so soft that Hoseok almost didn’t hear it and his response was quick; automatic even.
“Well why don’t you push the seat back and sleep for bit? I’ll wake you we get to the dorms…”
“That’s not what I meant. I-” He began but was cut off when his phone rang out, echoing throughout the car, breaking the tension only to raise it when Taehyung fished it out of his pocket and it was none other than Jeongguk. Hoseok scoffed lightly, feigning disinterest as he focused on the road.
“Hey! Yeah everything’s okay…no really…I’m fine Kookie so stop worrying so much. No, I’m not lying. You don’t need to call Jimin, it’s okay. Yeah, hyung is taking me home…What? Yes…it’s fine. I’m fine. Uh huh, I’ll call you when I get home, I promise. You better be safe okay? Let me know when you get home too…” Hoseok zoned out after that, jaw beginning to hurt from clenching it too hard and eyes narrowed on the road. The bitter jealousy was rising to his throat in the form of bile and he hated it. When he realised Taehyung had come off the phone, he feigned nonchalance as he said his next words, words that were carefully filtered; carefully chosen and labelled as safe.
“If you’re so worried about each other, you could’ve just stayed at the concert you know,” And to be truthful he was probably just as shocked as his best friend because that was not what he was going to say. All he’d planned to ask was if everything was alright. And that wasn’t even the icing on the cake, no the pinnacle of it all was the icy tone of his voice instead of flippant like he’d also planned.
“What?” Taehyung asked, face moving from complete shock to confusion as he eyed Hoseok quizzically from the passenger seat.
“Um it’s nothing just forget about it.” He answered quickly trying to save face although his voice was gruff as he tried to calm himself from the panic that was beginning to breach the brim.
“It’s not just ‘nothing’. What is your problem? Are you angry? And I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a while now but do you have something against Kookie?” Taehyung asked, unfeigned curiousity in his voice that held a slight edge to it.
Yes, I do. “No, I don’t.” Hoseok lied through his teeth.
“Are you sure because I know when you don’t like someone and also every time you see him you either scowl at him or glare and that makes him uncomfortable.”
“Whether he feels comfortable in my presence or not is not any of my concern, he’s not my friend.” Hoseok quipped harshly unable to bite back the scoff that followed his words. Why should he care what Jeongguk thought? Why should Jeongguk, the enemy, matter to him?
“Well he’s my friend and I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t be so harsh and cold towards him. He really looks up to you, you know, respects you as one of the best dancers on campus. He’s a really nice person and you’d see that if you gave him the time of the day instead of just being hostile towards him…he doesn’t deserve that.” Taehyung argued, voice husky as he tried to reason with Hoseok but at this point, the older had already reached beyond reasoning.
“It’s always ‘Kookie this’, ‘Kookie that’ with you! If you like him that much then maybe you should go room with him! I searched for you for God alone knows how long in that crowd to find you having the time of your life with him! Did you even try to find me? To call me?” He yelled, frustration and anger mixing and he was losing control. Taehyung was silent for a while before he spoke again.
“Hyung, pull over.” He said, almost begging and Hoseok sighed, fixing himself behind the wheel.
“No, there’s no need…we’ll be back at the dorms soon.”
“Hoseok, stop the car…please.” Taehyung tried again his voice dangerously low and Hoseok knew the younger was serious. He never called Hoseok by this name like that, it was either ‘hyung’ or ‘Hoseokie hyung’ and to hear him using his name had the elder complying; pulling over the car at the side of the road.
“I think we need to talk…” The younger said, turning his body so that he was facing Hoseok and the elder vaguely remembered Jimin telling him that him and Taehyung really needed to sit and have a talk and that he was giving him advice as their long-time friend.
“Why don’t you just throw caution to the wind and tell him how you feel? You can’t keep up this one sided moping-jealousy-hating everything and everyone that gets close to him thing forever you know.” Jimin had said to him about a month ago when they’d went out for coffee and Hoseok looked at his friend like he’d just told him to commit mass murder before he burst out laughing because Jimin was joking right? By the time they’d ordered and sat at their table, Jimin still hadn’t laughed and the elder-because Jimin was the same age as Taehyung-stopped laughing as he realised that his friend was actually serious.
“I can’t do that…do you really want to see me heartbroken that bad? Do you want to see me cry and wail when I lose my best friend?” Hoseok had asked seriously, staring intently at Jimin who rolled his eyes but stared right back with a look that told Hoseok he was an idiot.
“If he rejects-”
“When he rejects me.”
“If he rejects you it doesn’t mean that you’ll lose him Hoseok…don’t you think you’re being a little too pessimistic about this entire thing?” Jimin reasoned and the elder only laughed.
“I don’t expect you to understand, Jiminnie but thanks for trying to encourage me. I’ll remember this moment so that I’ll have at least one nice thing to say at your funeral.” He joked and Jimin gave a sarcastic laugh, shaking his head just as their order came.
“Tae told me he sang piece of our first composition for you, the one we have to do for class?” Jimin asked, eyes trained on Hoseok who’d only nodded before elaborating.
“It was a beautiful piece, the lyrics really hit home…” He trailed off, eyes falling to the art in his drink. It was a bunny, a really cute bunny and it reminded him of his best friend. He smiled.
“You know that Tae wrote it right?” Hoseok nodded again proceeding to elaborate once more.
“He told me you and Jeongguk wrote most of it and he only helped a little but I knew he was lying…it was the other way around wasn’t it?” It was Jimin’s turn to nod and Hoseok sighed.
“That’s not all…we have two more in the works as well…he gave the idea for one and Kookie and I wrote the lyrics for him because he didn’t know how to pen it…the name of it is ‘Butterfly’…” His friend said while he dug through the contents of his bag coming out with a small brown book and opening it before passing it over to Hoseok. “Read it…” Taking the book hesitantly, Hoseok eyed the title written boldly against white paper before his eyes fell on the lyrics and he began reading, identifying bits of Taehyung’s writing amongst Jimin’s and the other who he assumed belonged to Jeongguk. The lyrics were impressive, following in the steps of the previous composition, ‘Love Is Not Over’. It spoke of love and the fear that comes with it; the fear of loss. It spoke of longing, of having something that one can’t have. Hoseok thought about ‘Love Is Not Over’ and the raw emotion that could never be feigned that Taehyung was wearing when he sang it for him, then about ‘Butterfly’ and with shaking hands he looked up at Jimin.
“Tae Tae’s in love with someone isn’t he?” They both knew he was asking a rhetorical question but Jimin answered him with a big grin and a slow nod anyway. They also both knew that the person was Jeongguk so Hoseok didn’t even bother with asking who the object of his best friend’s affections was.
“I knew it…I knew it all this time but it still hurts you know?” Hoseok admitted, staring at his entwined fingers resting against the table behind his full cup of hot chocolate and trying to keep himself from having an emotional breakdown now that the truth was handed to him; now that it wasn’t just his guess. Taehyung probably didn’t tell him because Hoseok was sure it was plain to the dumbest person that he didn’t like Jeongguk. He felt horrible. His best friend couldn’t even confide in him about his love life because he was a douche. A selfish one at that. And yet, Hoseok knew that if it came to, he wouldn’t be able to support Taehyung fully so he decided he would pretend that he didn’t know.
“Hyung what are you talking about? What hurts?” Jimin broke through his thoughts in bewilderment. “You know who Tae likes right?”
“Of course I do! Anyone with eyes could see that it’s Jeongguk and I get that you’re happy for him, so am I but I just can’t find it in myself to support him, not right now at least…so for now, please don’t tell him that I know okay?” Hoseok literally begged as he stood up and he swore he saw Jimin’s brow twitch in annoyance.
“Yeah sure, sure…I just wish someone could do something about the complete idiots I have for friends… I think I need something stronger than this. Do you know where the closest bar is? I think dumbness is contagious and if I don’t take a drink I’ll catch it…” Jimin groaned, knocking his head against the table looking as if he was so done with life. His behaviour was strange and it puzzled Hoseok.
“You don’t drink though…” He thought to point out.
“Exactly but dealing with you two…I’m surprised I haven’t started yet…yet.” Jimin had glared at him and Hoseok had took that as his cue to leave, walking out the café quickly leaving an untouched drink and an angry Jimin behind.
Hoseok rolled his eyes at the memory because honestly it wasn’t a pleasant one, confirming who the person one was in love with loved would never be pleasant. “What’s there to talk about?” He asked warily, his gaze following Taehyung’s that was looking everywhere but at him before it finally settled on him and the determination set in the younger’s pools of brown had Hoseok swallowing nothing because his mouth had gone dry.
“There’s many things to talk about,” Taehyung replied and from his tone of voice and the way it wavered, Hoseok knew that the boy was nervous though probably not as nervous as him because right then, he was mentally, physically and emotionally preparing himself for the rejection he was going to get. Silence stretched on, straining Hoseok’s resolve to just take whatever was coming like a man as Taehyung opened his mouth a dozen and one times only to close it back like he wasn’t sure what to say or where to begin. Hoseok really didn’t blame him. This was a hard conversation. Watching his best friend complete the action another time and feeling his sanity get slowly eaten away, the elder sighed before taking a deep breath and just as Jimin had told him to do, threw caution to the wind.
“Look I’m-”
“Answer me honestly, why do you hate Jeongguk?” Taehyung cut him off to ask and Hoseok was taken aback. All this just to talk about Jeongguk. All this stress and anxiety just to talk about someone that he didn’t even give two shits about. He’d been driving himself up a wall for the almost two years and it was making him bitter. If it continued like this, surely the friendship between him and Taehyung wouldn’t last.
“Why does it matter? Do you like him?” He asked and there was venom in the undertones of his voice. He didn’t mean it, but now everything was all too much for him and he was exploding as emotions that he tried to hide, bottle up or keep in check began bursting at the seams and he was tired. Hoseok was tired of it all. Tired of always skirting around his best friend, tired of always overthinking, tired of pushing away the one person that guaranteed his happiness regardless of what. He was tired of himself.
“And what if I do?” His best friend challenged and Hoseok let out a humourless laugh missing the hurt that flashed in the younger’s eyes and the heart-breaking twist in his voice.
“Well isn’t that great! I’m happy for you! Have you confessed because that would just be grand!” The words were filled with sarcasm and Hoseok’s breathing was becoming erratic, a lump lodging his way in his throat. Shit was hitting the fan and faster than he ever imagined.
“What is your problem?! Why are you acting this way?!” Taehyung was yelling now his voice cracking with emotion; emotions that Hoseok couldn’t understand because he was too wrapped up in his own.
“Listen Tae Tae, I searched…I searched for you long and hard in that crowd and Buddha knows how desperate I was and didn’t give up until I found you…but did you look for me? You didn’t answer me before so tell me, did you?” Hoseok trailed off, opening his door and stepping out of the car that was becoming too suffocating. He needed fresh air, he needed to calm down, and he needed his best friend. Taehyung followed his actions and came out the car as well, moving to stand opposite him at the back of the vehicle so that they were face to face.
“No…I didn’t look for you…I didn’t look for you because hyung…you told me that no matter what you’d always find me! You told me that I just needed to give you a sign and you’ll come running! That I just needed to stay put until you came for me…we were kids and you probably don’t remember but I did…I did and I believed in your words, I believed in you and just did as you told me…I gave you a sign.” Taehyung explained in desperation, eyes shining and Hoseok guessed that the younger was trying to hold back his tears. The elder blinked as he took in his best friend’s words, a memory of a nine-year-old him finding a lost eight-year-old Taehyung and him telling the boy as they made their way home that he’d always find him no matter where he was, that all Taehyung had to do was stay put and give him a sign of some sort and he’d come running. He’d made sure to seal the promise with intertwined pinkies and lopsided grins on tear stained faces.
“So that means…the crowd…that was the sign? You and Jeongguk dancing…like that…was all for the sign? For me to find you?” Hoseok asked tentatively, remorse clenching down on his envious heart, and when Taehyung nodded with a sigh because he’d finally gotten through to him, Hoseok’s knees gave in causing him to collapse not onto the ground but into Taehyung’s arms that caught him and helped him steady himself.
“But still…that doesn’t change the fact that you like Jeongguk okay? Wouldn’t it have been better if you’d just stayed at the concert with him? You don’t have to worry about me, you’re always with him anyway,” Hoseok said trying his best to not sound like some bitter whiner and failing because that’s exactly what he sounded like.
“Seriously hyung, what is your problem with Jeongguk?” Taehyung inquired, suspiciously eyeing Hoseok who coughed nervously and backed away from his best friend to put space between them when he realised that the younger was still holding on to him causing his skin to heat up the way it did only for Taehyung.
“It’s nothing okay? I don’t have a problem with him…so just drop it…” He warned with his voice and the gaze he had on his best friend who he knew was too stubborn for his own good.
“Bullshit hyung! It’s not nothing so just spill it already. Do you really want me to go room with him? Do you really want that?” Taehyung’s voice rose although he wasn’t yelling and Hoseok thought he might as well have been. The elder shifted his gaze from his friend to somewhere over the boy’s shoulder because he didn’t want to see the hurt in the younger’s eyes which was triggering an ache in his chest. Why was he such a coward? Why was he constantly running away? He swallowed hard because he couldn’t answer Taehyung’s question. No matter what answer he gave, he knew the younger would demand an explanation and he didn’t have a reason that wasn’t the truth. The truth that he was running from.
“Answer me dammit! You never say anything to me anymore! We can barely hold a conversation and you either give me lame excuses to get away from me or you say nothing at all and just blatantly avoid me! Did I do something wrong? Hyung, did I hurt you in some way? Is our friendship going to end?” Taehyung was pleading and shaking, voice faltering and Hoseok knew that his best friend was at his wits end; was on the verge of tears. The last question struck a chord within the elder, ripping him to pieces and before he knew it, before he could process his thoughts, words began tumbling out of his mouth whether he liked it or not. The only thing that was going through his head at that moment was that he could not and would not lose Taehyung, would not lose his best friend.
“I was jealous okay?! No, I am jealous! I’m jealous of Jeongguk and every time you’re with him it rubs me the wrong way and I just-”
“You don’t think I don’t get jealous too?! You’re always up under Jimin and it honestly pisses me off so much especially when you go out of your way just to avoid me and you’re all fine and dandy with him! Do you think I’m okay with that? He’s not your best friend, I am! Me!” He yelled pointing to himself and before Hoseok could get a peep in, the younger continued. “…Do you know how hard it is for me to control myself so I don’t explode…no you don’t know-”
“Taehyung you’re misunderstanding something here! This isn’t just some plain old jealousy! This isn’t just me thinking that Jeongguk is going to steal my-”
“No hyung, you’re the one misunderstanding something here! Do you know how much it hurts me to see you and Jimin together all the time like that, doing the things we would do? Do you know how hard it is for me to pretend that I’m okay, with a smile that I’ve perfected because you can see through all of my fake smiles, when you avoid me? When you push me away? This isn’t about us being best friends anymore hyung and for a long time it hasn’t been about that…this is about me and what I feel for you! I’m in love with you, Hoseok. I have been for a very long time and I wasn’t going to tell you but I’m just tired…I’m tired of it putting this big wall between us. I know you were avoiding me because you found out…I know you were skirting around me because you didn’t know how to act and you were afraid that if you asked that it’d be true…so I thought…I thought that if I’d just left it, if I’d neither confirm or deny it that you’d forget and things would shift back into place…but it’s like you always tell me, I’m too optimistic because instead, things just kept getting worse…” By the time Taehyung had finished, Hoseok’s knees had caved in once more leaving him on the floor with sagged shoulders and ragged breathing. The younger’s words left him stunned to the point where he was unable to speak, his head muddled and the only thing he was really sure of was how fast his heart was beating and how red his face must have been.
“W-why aren’t you saying anything? You must be creeped out right? So hit me, yell at me, do something…please…I want to tell you to forget it hyung, I really do but I can’t…these feelings are important to me…they’ve been with me for God knows how long and it’s all for you so I don’t want to regard them as nothing or just brush them off…but we can move past it right? We can still be best friends right?” Taehyung’s breath hitched and Hoseok looked up to see the boy sobbing, tears illuminated by the glowing moon slipping past his lids and down his face; tears that he wanted to stop but didn’t know how to. His thoughts, his feelings, his answer to his best friend was right there at the tip of his tongue yet they refused to be voiced; refused to be formed into the right words. He needed to give the boy an answer because Taehyung would run with his silence in the most negative way now that he laid his cards on the table and was open for judgement even though he was the most optimistic person Hoseok knew. Taking a deep breath, Hoseok stretched his hands toward his best friend and finally throwing actual caution to the wind, he held Taehyung by the arms and brought the boy down in a hug. His best friend was shaking and he held on to him tighter a hand at the back if his head head while the other rubbed circles on his back.
“I’m sorry Tae Tae…I’m so sorry-” He began suddenly and the abrupt way the younger pulled back from the hug to look at him with wide, scared, glassy eyes startled Hoseok yet it broke his heart at the same time. His best friend was preparing himself for a rejection. A rejection that would never come, he thought with a small smile. He stroked Taehyung’s face gently, taking away tears while he did.
“Listen to me Tae…I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m so sorry…I was so selfish. It’s true that I was avoiding you but the reason for that is where you’re wrong...it wasn’t because of you, it was because of me…after I graduated high school I realised that the feelings I had for you were way past the point of friendship and I didn’t know how to deal with that…I didn’t want you to know because I never thought that there was a possibility that you could like me back which led me to ignoring you so that I wouldn’t have to face it, so that I could get over it because it’s weird right? Being in love with your best friend who’s also a guy. That’s why I would try to ignore and avoid contact with you for that first year but then you show up at my door and I realised then that I really couldn’t get over you but that didn’t stop me from trying because now that you were actually here I had to do more to hide it. I didn’t want to lose you, my best friend and even though I told myself that...when Jeongguk came into the picture…I’d get so jealous of him and I took it out on you especially when I thought that you were in love with him…Look the thing is Taehyung, I’m in love with you too. Always have been and always will be and I’m sorry for pushing you away, for hurting you…” He trailed off, brushing Taehyung’s hair back and before he knew it, his best friend had pressed their lips together and it was so soft and warm and a little awkward because Taehyung was still his best friend after all but it felt so right at the same time; the way their lips fit together and the way the younger was cupping his face in addition to the way Hoseok was feeling all giddy; stomach tingling and heart galloping against his chest. When they pulled apart, Taehyung had his signature rectangular grin on his face and Hoseok could see the happiness behind it although he was still stunned. But then again, Taehyung had always been braver than him.
“I never thought this would happen…I just-I’m feeling so much right now it’s scary.” The younger admitted and Hoseok chuckled.
“Aren’t you always feeling too much?” He teased, bumping their foreheads together, his heart and head feeling lighter than it had been for almost two years as he realised in wonder that just like that, the tension that had existed before was completely gone almost like it was never there in the first place.
“Shut up…” Taehyung mumbled with a small pout as Hoseok got up off the ground pulling the younger up with him. “…you know hyung…since we’re being honest with each other…about me waking up in your bed every morning…” Taehyung trailed off, scratching his cheek shyly causing Hoseok to smile because it was just too cute.
“Don’t worry I know…Jimin told me…you like the smell of my bed so it’s the reason you sleep walk to it every night right?” He relayed the information that Jimin had told him in exchange for a free cup of coffee and a slice of cake from the café. Taehyung’s laughter caught him off guard and he looked at his best friend quizzically.
“He’s such a little snitch but no that’s a lie…the truth is it’s because I like your scent and also it was the only way I could think of hugging and touching you without restrictions, you who was avoiding me and I also sleep better when I’m next to you.” He winked and Hoseok blinked a slow smile forming on his face.
“So you mean to tell me that you’ve been consciously doing that this entire time?” He asked in awe and amusement because Taehyung was sly and he should’ve known.
“Pretty slick huh? I’d wait for you to come into the room, pretend I was sleeping and when you fall asleep I’d just sneak over. Simple, although I don’t really get to enjoy it because like I said I fall asleep quickly when I’m next to you and by the time I’m up in the morning you’ve either left or you’re showering but it’s still worth it.” He grinned and now it was Hoseok’s turn to be shy and embarrassed as he thought about those mornings when he’d literally bolt out of bed because of the problem in his pants.
“Well…since we’re being truthful…” He began but was interrupted by his best friend slapping his arm none too gently.
“Hyung! Hyung! Look! A shooting star!” He said excitedly, pointing to the sky but by the time Hoseok looked, it had already vanished. He frowned and Taehyung laughed at his misery. It reminded him of a memory when they were kids and sitting on the lawn in Taehyung’s backyard.
“It’s just like that time!” His best friend said while laughing and he smiled because he’d just had the same thought. It was funny how their thoughts always seemed to be in the same place.
“Did you make a wish this time too?”
“Of course I did.”
“What did you wish for?”
“I’m not telling but I’ll tell you this…it’s the same one I made when we were kids.” Taehyung grinned and Hoseok only stared thinking that it was okay he’d missed the shooting star because he was seeing all the stars in the younger’s smile and his shining eyes that was reflecting the moon which was exactly what the younger him had thought only then he didn’t know the true meaning of it.
“What were you going to tell me before?” The younger questioned and Hoseok laughed sheepishly.
“Nothing important.” He dismissed because the courage was lost with the interruption and to be truthful he was grateful because that would’ve been really embarrassing to say and also they had their entire futures for that story so postponing it was alright. “By the way…about those songs…yes songs…Jimin showed me ‘Butterfly’….were they really about me?” He questioned.
“Unfortunately,” Taehyung teased, sticking his tongue out, a very dangerous habit of his because the way he did it always did things to Hoseok. “…from now on I’ll call them my precious struggle lyrics.”
“Struggle lyrics?”
“Yep, because they speak of my struggles of being in love with you before now…it speaks of my black and white world that’s suddenly painted in splashes of colours thanks to you…”
“How could you say such corny things with a straight face?” Hoseok feigned a gag although a blush stained his face and Taehyung looked at him with a smile and a soft gaze; a gaze filled with love and Hoseok wondered how on earth he didn’t see it before.
“More like how could I not and besides, it’s the truth…it sets you free you know.” Hoseok nodded in agreement and silently apologised for belittling the creator of that statement because it was true; because now he was able to love his best friend the way he wanted.
“By the way hyung, what gave you the impression that I liked Kookie?” Taehyung asked suddenly and the elder sputtered for a bit.
“I…now that I think about it, why did I? Maybe because you were always with him? And you both seemed to be getting really close and comfy?”
“Well…that’s understandable because it was the same for me with you and Jimin but let me tell you something interesting. Kookie and I are just friends and besides he already has someone that he likes…someone by the name of Park Jimin although he teases and ignores him 500% of the time and due to circumstances which included me accusing Jimin of certain things, he’s actually pretty thirsty for the Golden Maknae…” Taehyung explained and Hoseok smiled because he guessed that Jimin liked Jeongguk from since the beginning but didn’t want to say anything.
“Really thirsty,” He added and they both chuckled.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you this since you moved in with me an now that it seems like most of what you did had some hidden meaning, I’m assuming the purple hair does to, what did you mean when you said ‘I’m home’?” Hoseok was curious, eyebrows furrowed as he looked his best friend.
“Firstly to begin, I applied for the university because you were there and also because it’s well known for its programmes and secondly, I knew your roommate dropped out via your parents because they were my go to people to find out what was going on with you since you weren’t answering my calls and whatnot-and I’d stopped calling because I thought you’d found out- so when I got in I asked to be able to room with you without your knowing because regardless, I guess I couldn’t stay away from you even if it might hurt me or you…selfish I know…so I dyed my hair purple because of the promise but I also wanted to gauge a reaction out of you so I’d know whether you hated me or not and also because you were the one who recommended it and I take everything you say seriously, well, most things anyway…” He paused, chuckling before he began again, voice serious this time. “…hyung, when I said ‘I’m home’ I really only meant that I was home…Hoseok, you are my home. When I’m not with you it’s like a piece of me is missing and only when we’re together do I feel whole again and I really mean that. Wherever you go I would follow…home is where the heart is hyung and my heart is always with you…” Hoseok’s heart swelled at the words and he cupped Taehyung’s face.
“It’s the same for me Tae Tae…” He smiled and then leaned in to capture his best friend’s lips in a chaste kiss, pressing their foreheads together when they pulled apart.
“I love you…I’m in love with you Kim Taehyung.” He whispered in the spaces between them, their breaths mixing and noses brushing.
“I’m in love with you too, hyung…even more so.”
“Are you going to turn this into a competition?”
“How could I not?”
“You’re impossible.”
“I don’t believe in impossible, not anymore.” Taehyung said intertwining their fingers together.
“I think I created a monster. Mr. Optimistic 2.0.” The younger laughed, bass echoing and gooseflesh skittered across Hoseok’s skin that was tingling from wherever Taehyung touched.
“There’s nothing wrong with being overly optimistic.”
“There is. It’s called a greater disappointment.”
“But you’ll take care of me when that happens right, hyung?”
“It depends on what my reward is.”
“Well we have our entire life ahead to think of rewards and by the way hyung…I’m glad I didn’t stay at the concert, not that I was planning to without you anyway but this, us, is so much better.”
“I agree…I honestly thought that I’d be losing my best friend for good tonight.”
“So did I but it all worked out.”
“Indeed, by the way, I would very much like to hear you sing ‘Butterfly’ for me.”
“Not a chance.”
“Stingy.”
“But you love me anyways.”
“Unfortunately. C’mon, let’s go back to the dorms.”
“Nice idea…can I sleep with you tonight?”
“Whoa there, our relationship has only just begun…I’d like to take things slow.”
“Perv…but seriously…”
“Even if I say no you’d still sneak in anyways and it’s not like you’ve asked before.”
“You make a valid point…by the way, you’re telling Jimin about us because I do not want to hear his ‘FINALLY’ or his long rant about how we are idiots and that this should’ve happened a long time ago blah blah blah.”
“Neither do I!”
“How about we just let him discover it on his own? Deal?”
“Deal.”