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Chapter Text

If someone would have told Will Poindexter when he’d first started playing hockey that he’d be sitting in his coach’s office, junior year at Samwell, inking a contract to play in the NHL just days after winning the NCAA title, he’d have laughed in their face.

Sure, he’d dreamed a little. Come on. Any kid in his position had. What defenseman didn’t want want to be the next Borque or Orr? But William J. Poindexter was pragmatic. He didn’t put too much hope onto something that felt so unattainable. Because dreams were dangerous. And disappointing.

Though, now, holding a copy of his freshly inked three year contract, he really thought about it. It wasn’t so unattainable at Samwell. They’d had Jack Zimmermann, who won the Calder his rookie season and was prepping for a post season with Providence leading the charge as favorites to be the team to lift Lord Stanley high in June. And they’d had Adam Birkholtz, who was a serious Calder contender this season with the Schooners, bulldozing his way into the league as a top defenseman.

So maybe, yeah, the NHL wasn’t that far out of reach at Samwell.

Even Bitty had some interest at the moment. Boston and Providence were currently fighting for the fast forward. Both teams were practically flinging themselves at Bitty. To everyone’s surprise, Boston had the slight edge at the moment. There had been a lot of teams looking at Bitty for a while though. With his speed, teams couldn’t help but notice.

But Dex? He hadn’t let himself dream. That wasn’t smart. It wasn’t logical. It was dangerous. Because the disappointment would be too sharp and too real. So he told himself that it wasn’t real. It was just a silly dream that 12-year old Dex had long ago suppressed. He wasn’t going to be the next Bobby Orr. He was going to be Will Poindexter, comp sci major, Samwell #24. No dreams. No hoping for something that was painfully out of reach.

. . . Until it wasn’t.

Until the Yale game his sophomore year when a scout for the Rangers asked if he was entering the draft. Until a scout from Toronto gave him a sleek business card with a smile. Until after a game he put up four points with two goals and two assists, three more scouts for three more teams invited him to come to prospect camps during the summer. Until Hall and Murray insisted he get an agent because now five teams were watching him with far more interest than he expected.

Five.

Him. William J. Poindexter. The gangly, freckled kid from Maine with ears too big and a temper too short. NHL teams wanted him.

He called Jack first, desperate and confused.

“I’vebeeninvitedtoprospectcampsandIhavenofuckingideawhattodo,” Will blustered as soon as Jack answered.

There was a slight pause. “Do you want to go to the prospect camps?”

Will nodded and then exhaled. “Yeah. I think so? But like, also, it’s um, me?”

“What?” Jack asked, clearly confused.

“I mean, I’m not NHL level, right? I’m not as big as Holster. Like NHL d-men are big.”

There was a slight echo when Jack answered, indicating speaker phone. “You’re pretty average for a defenseman in the league, Dex. You may need to bulk up weight wise, but let’s be honest, Holster is kind of anomaly in a lot of ways,” joked Jack in that monotone way of his.

Dex smiled before sobering again. “But, Jack. This is the NHL. You play in the NHL.”

“And you played with Jack,” said an accented voice that Dex didn't expect but immediately recognized. Oh my God, Dex panicked. Bad Bob? Was Bad Bob Zimmermann on the phone right now?

“Sorry, Dex. I thought my dad might be able to help. I can tell him to leave though if you want.”

“Uh, no. It’s um. Yeah. Cool. It’s cool.” Dear God if Nursey could hear him now.

There was a sound of a chair screeching on hardwood, a muttered, “Crisse, Papa. Maman will kill you if you ruin the new floors.”

Then, “Okay, Dex,” Bob said softly. “Let’s talk this through. Help you figure it all out.”

Two hours later when Dex had ended the call, he’d felt immensely better. Advice from a legit NHL dynasty had definitely calmed him. But they hadn’t managed to help him narrow down his options much.

So Dex had found Holster who’d just signed with the Schooners.

“Dexy!” Holster ruffled his hair a bit as Dex sat beside him. Holster was stuffing his face with a blueberry crumble that Bitty had made earlier.

Dex didn’t respond, which wasn’t exactly abnormal for him. He wasn’t the loudest or most outgoing of the guys. Everyone knew that and respected it.

“Holster, can I talk to you about something?” Dex’s voice was softer than usual. It wavered slightly.

Holster immediately straightened and pushed the crumble away. “What’s up?” he asked, his voice a solid 10 decibels quieter than it had been.

“I got invited to prospect camps this summer. I don’t know which ones I should go to.”

Holster, to his credit, didn’t overreact. Instead, he smiled a bit and took a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s talk this through then, yeah? Let’s do a pros and cons list for each team and you can decide from there.”

Dex swallowed, still nervous. “What? No excel sheet?” he managed to chirp.

Holster chuckled. “Nah. You may be a computer guy but coming to me instead of Rans means we’re doing this old school. We can do excel later.”

“Um, actually,” Dex glanced around. Bitty was home, Dex could hear Beyonce. Chowder, he knew was currently in the library with his girlfriend, “studying”. Ransom had a class if Dex remembered right. So it was just him and Holster for now. “Do you mind not telling anyone about this?”

Holster blinked, cocked an eyebrow, and tilted his head. “You sure? This is a stressful as fuck process, bro. We’d all have your back.”

Dex nodded. “I know. I just don’t want to tell anyone yet. I don’t want anyone to get their hopes up and be disappointed if doesn’t work out.”

For a moment, Holster looked like he was going to respond. His blue eyes were soft and gauging. The little crease in between his eyebrows was furrowed and deep. In the end, he sighed and shook his head but he agreed. “Yeah. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Not even Ransom?”

Another heavy sigh. “Not even Ransom. Come on, my brother from another mother. Let’s talk this shit out.”

Will had a group chat on his phone with Bitty (he couldn't keep lying to his current captain), Holster, and Jack. They helped him with every step of the process without any complaint and only mild chirping. The only member of the Poindexter family that knew was his mother. She’d protested, saying he needed to share this exciting news with everyone. But after he explained and had to hear the soft, “Oh, William. Honey” sorts of noises over and over, she’d let it go.

But no one else knew because he was so afraid.

He hadn’t even told his best friend.

He hated himself for it.

He hated that he hadn’t told Nursey that there were scouts at games just for Dex.

He hated that he hadn’t told Nursey that he was going to prospect camps for three NHL teams, instead letting his best friend think he was busy hauling lobster all summer.

He hated that he hadn’t told Nursey when it was clear that he had a real shot to play in the NHL.

He hated that he hadn’t told Nursey that he was signing with the Aces.

He hated that he hadn’t told Nursey that he was completely fucking in love with him.

As he signed the last bit of his new three year, two and a half million dollar contract, Dex felt this sort of ache settle in on his heart, despite the fact that he couldn’t stop the fluttering excitement in his gut that he, William J. Poindexter was going to play in the NHL. Him.

“Welcome to the Aces, Will.”

There were congratulations all around, several people patted him firmly on the back. He managed it all with a slight smile, reminding himself to breathe. Finally after several minutes of small talk, Hall nudged him.

“Go celebrate with the boys. You earned this.”

So Will shook hands with everyone one last time and bid his agent (fuck, Will had an agent) goodbye.

As soon as he was outside in the cool, fresh spring air, Dex knew what he had to do. Knew what the growing knot in his chest was telling him he needed to do. He didn’t want Nursey to find out about the Aces online. Derek deserved better than that from his best friend. Fuck. He deserved a better best friend if Will was being honest with himself.

The team was having a small friends only kegster tonight to celebrate their NCAA championship win. They were having an epikegster in a few days when the team wasn’t so damn tired. The party was already in full swing when Will made it back to the Haus. Bitty’s playlist was thumping in the background as bodies danced. Chowder was smiling, unsurprisingly, laughing at something Bitty was saying, his arms wrapped around Farmer who smiled at her goalie adoringly. Tango and Whiskey were lounging on the couch. Whiskey stoic as usual, Tango chatting happily. Ollie and Wicks were getting their asses kicked at beer pong by two members of the volleyball team.

This was his home. And soon, it would be full of new people, people who didn’t know that Dex constantly had to fix the dryer, or the window to the reading room because it kept locking Nursey outside. It wouldn’t be his home anymore.

This wasn’t his team anymore.

That thought tore through his chest with a deep pain and Dex had to clench his jaw against the emotion, fixing his face into its usual resting glare.

“Chill, Dex,” Nursey appeared at his side with a cup of tub juice. His face was fond and soft, no real intent behind his “chill”. His jade eyes caught the light and sparkled. Legit fucking sparkled. God. He was beautiful. How many times had Dex studied that face when Derek wasn’t paying attention? It’s how Dex knew that Nursey moved his lips along with words while writing (and reading). How Dex knew that Nursey’s eyes would light up anytime someone mentioned his favorite, well. . . anything, even though Derek would always be too “chill” to be excited publicly. And how Dex knew that Nursey showed every single emotion with his gorgeous face if you just paid attention. He’d gotten good at hiding it all. But it was there in the little curve of his perfect mouth, or the wrinkle of his cute nose, or the ever so slight arch of his smooth brows.

Shit. Dex wanted to cry. But he had to do this. He owed it to his best friend to do this.

Dex grabbed Nursey by his wrist and moved him into the kitchen, thankfully empty.

Nursey eyed him but let himself be pulled in. “Dex, you alright?”

“Shut up, Nurse. Let me, just let me get this out,” Dex exhaled. Nursey was nervous. He could see it in his stupid gorgeous eyes.

“Dex?”

The sounds of the party were loud and it was overwhelming and Dex suddenly felt sick. “I lied to you.”

Nursey cocked a perfect eyebrow and frowned. “What? Oh, fuck you. I knew you hated that movie we went to last week. You didn’t have to go. I told you.” He laughed as he took another drink from the red cup in his large hands.

“No, that’s not it,” Dex shook his head, his hands trembling slightly. This was it. God, he really hoped that Nursey wouldn’t hate him for this.

Nursey looked genuinely concerned now. He stepped closer, eyeing Dex with unrestrained worry. “Whoa. Bro. Are you shaking? Dex. What the fuck is going on?”

“I didn’t work on lobster boats this summer. I wasn’t even Maine,” Dex said softly, almost too quietly to be heard over the party.

Nursey blinked and there was a flash of hurt before he stepped back, his perfectly fake mask of chill in place.

“I,” Dex started, panicking. Nursey was pulling away.

Nursey’s voice was dull and monotone and mocking when he spoke next. “Dude. Doesn’t matter. You clearly don’t need to tell me everything, right?” He shrugged and smirked before taking another deep drink of the tub juice in his cup. “Enjoy the party, Poindexter.”

He was hurt. Dex could hear it. And he was about to leave. He’d turned away and was preparing to head back into the living room with the rest of the team. So Dex did the last thing he could think of. He just blurted it out.

“I signed with the Aces.”

Nursey froze on the threshold of the kitchen. His whole body tensed before he turned to face Dex in complete shock. “What?”

It all came rushing out before Dex could even really think about it. “That’s where I was. I had prospect camps and I didn’t want to tell anyone because I was afraid and I’m just William fucking Poindexter. What the fuck right do I have to be an NHL player, you know? And then suddenly I had teams talking to me and I had to get an agent and I was scared. I’m so fucking scared, Derek, and I didn’t want to be another big disappointment if it didn’t work out and then the Aces wanted me. Like really bad and it was smart and I couldn’t stop thinking about all the shit I could do with even a few years of NHL money so I signed. And I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. I just couldn’t handle the disappointment if it didn’t work out,” Dex finished and exhaled. There it was, everything he’d been keeping in.

It was silent between them for a long time. Dex waited, not wanting to push. But Nursey just stood there, silent.

Dex was trying to think of something, ANYTHING, to make this right when, in a move that Nursey had to know would fucking destroy Dex, Nursey simply turned and walked out, leaving Dex alone in the kitchen.

Bitty found him five minutes later, head in his hands, shoulders shaking with unsteady breaths as Dex fought to keep himself strong. The captain barricaded the door to the kitchen before he sat across from Dex.

“I fucked up, Bitty,” Dex breathed, his voice wet and soft.

“Oh, honey, I’m sure that’s not true.”

Dex laughed and it collapsed into sobs. Bitty was immediately at his side, rubbing his back. “I talked to Nursey,” Dex managed.

Bitty laid his head on Dex’s shoulder. “Did you tell him?”

Bitty was the only one who knew of Dex’s feelings for his partner on the ice. “Not that. I told him I signed with the Aces. He hates me, Bitty. I lied and I kept all of that from him.”

His captain exhaled. “Lord save me from these boys,” Bitty murmured softly and fondly. Dex managed a weak chuckle. “Now, first of all, congratulations! I know how stressful this whole process has been. The Aces are lucky to have you. Even if I’ll miss having you around.”

“You’re probably moving to Boston soon,” Dex argued. “So it’s not like you’d be here anymore.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. Besides, Boston is still close to Samwell. Vegas, well, isn’t. Oh Lord. Who am I going to call if I need something fixed?”

Dex smiled a bit. “I think you’ll be able to afford an actual plumber or contractor or electrician with an NHL salary, Bitty.”

Bitty smacked his arm. “Don’t chirp me while I’m comforting you, William.” Bitty was silent for a minute before he hugged Dex again. “It’ll be okay, Dex,” he said, his voice softer now, his accent thick and warm.

Yeah. Dex didn’t agree. Bitty hadn’t seen Derek’s face. “He didn’t say a word. He just stared at me and then left. I should be happy, right? I should be glad that I even have the chance to play professionally. And all I can think is how I ruined everything and lost my best friend. I lied to him and I can’t even tell him that I’m so fucking in love with him that I’d gladly give up Vegas if it meant I could be with him.” Dex finished as another sob tore through his chest and Bitty held him tight, the kegster forgotten.

When Will slumped upstairs an hour later, half expecting Nursey to be in the attic, he found the attic empty. Nursey’s bed was still unmade and messy, his beanie and hoodie and a pair of socks balled up in the middle of twisted sheets where he’d left them earlier.

He swallowed and tried not to think about how fucking happy they’d all been just hours earlier. How fucking excited they all were to have returned home as champions this time. Will had been so happy to see his name in black ink on that paper only a few hours ago. But now, now he just wanted everything to go back to how it was.

He’d fucked up. This was his fault.

Dex stripped to his underwear and climbed onto the top bunk and curled into a ball, making himself as small as his 6’2 frame would allow.

Nursey never came home.

And Dex hated himself.

Chapter Text

Derek was pissed.

No.

That didn’t actually adequately describe it. Nursey was ready to fucking lose his shit. He’d had to fight the urge to put his fist through the wall of the Haus as he’d stormed out. The only thing that had stopped him was the knowledge that Bitty would lecture him and Dex would have to fix it.

Dex. Fuck.

Derek left the kegster and wandered toward campus. It was mostly empty at this time of night, except for a few stragglers here or there. Nursey didn’t really pay attention to where he was going, until he realized he was headed towards the pond. He huffed, finally collapsing under a barely flowering tree at the pond’s edge, the air still carrying a slight bite despite the fact that it was the beginning of April.

He couldn’t breathe. His chest hurt. He curled his knees to his chest, hands tight in his hair as everything crashed around him.

Dex was leaving. He was fucking leaving Nursey behind. Just like everyone else in his fucking life did. And Derek didn’t even get one more year to prep for it. He didn’t get a senior year planning kegsters and epikegsters with his roommate. He didn’t get to pull epic pranks on the unsuspecting LAX bros with the most diabolical prankster on the team (besides Bitty). He didn’t get to spend hours together on roadies arguing about whether or not it would be better to find a person or 1000 roaches in your attic (team person in the attic all the way) with his best fucking friend.

They were supposed to give Chowder a hard time while still being supportive of their (soon to be) captain. They were going to wear the A’s on the ice. They were going to spend hours at Annie’s figuring out what the fuck they were going to do after Samwell.

Derek didn’t get any of that. It was all just fucking gone because Dex was moving to Vegas to play in the NHL. He was leaving.

Nursey hadn’t even noticed anything was different with Dex.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

He had noticed how Dex was bulking up. But Derek thought that was just because Dex didn’t like how people kept saying he was “slight” next to Derek. Nursey knew that annoyed the shit out of him. And Nursey had noticed that Dex was keeping a more Jack-esque schedule. But Dex was pretty damn strict about certain shit anyways so this wasn’t a huge change.

How could Nursey have missed this? He’d noticed Dex was more on edge, more stressed out. But he’d chalked it up to junior year. He was stressed as hell too. Classes were harder. That’s how universities worked.

He hadn’t even thought about this. He should have, he scolded himself. Dex was fucking amazing on the ice. He’d scored the go ahead in the final, for Christ’s sake. But Derek had always figured Dex would end up working IT for some company nearby, maybe close enough to New York that they could be roommates still. Nursey hadn’t even begun to consider this option.

Las Vegas. Fuck.

What the fuck was Derek going to do without his best friend?

And why the fuck hadn’t Dex told him sooner? That hurt almost as much as thinking about everything they wouldn’t get to do did. Why hadn’t Dex told him about the camps? Hell, why hadn’t Dex mentioned he had scouts?

The sound of approaching footsteps brought Nursey back to reality. He was preparing to turn and tell Dex to fuck off because he was still too upset to deal with him right now when a voice spoke. A very non-Dex voice.

“Cait said you looked really upset and kind of unstable. You okay?” Chowder asked as he slid over to sit beside Nursey on the ground. He didn’t complain about the wet grass likely soaking through his jeans. His eyes were soft in the pale light of the streetlamp and he was completely unassuming. Damn, Christopher Chow was a legit saint.

Nursey didn’t answer right away so Chowder leaned into him a bit and wrapped his arm around Derek’s waist. Nursey was a tactile dude. He appreciated that Chowder knew that.

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with whatever made Dex cry, does it?”

Cry? Wait. What? Derek hadn’t exactly left a happy Dex behind but he didn’t think there would be tears. Dex never fucking cried. Not really. He’d just vibrate with anger like the grumpy fucking porcupine he was. Nursey tried and failed to create a mask of chill before he responded. “Don’t worry about it,” he muttered, cursing himself silently for the way his voice wavered.

“He must have finally told you then,” said Chowder, his voice quiet and sad.

What? WHAT? “What the fuck??? He told you?” Nursey snapped, his anger surging again.

Chowder shook his head and held up his hands, wide eyed. “No. I mean, he doesn’t even know I know, you know?”

Nursey blinked, still tense.

Chowder looked down at his hands and picked at his thumbnail nervously. “I overheard him on the phone with Holster after the end of semester epikegster in December. He was in the kitchen with Bitty, helping him clean up and I heard him say that there were three teams really pushing hard to sign him. I didn’t tell him that I heard because I was waiting for him to feel comfortable enough to tell me.”

Derek exhaled, feeling even worse, which he hadn’t thought was fucking possible. “Jesus.”

“You know. . . I’ve had a few scouts,” Chowder revealed, suddenly shy.

Nursey buried the urge to swear. Was everyone going to play in the NHL? Shit. “Congrats, Chris. I mean that.” He managed to sound absolutely sincere. Nursey wasn’t jealous though, so that wasn’t actually hard.

“I get why he didn’t tell us though.”

“Yeah. You get why one of my best friends has been lying to me for the past year?” Derek pouted.

Chowder nodded and leaned into Nursey a bit more, gripping him a little tighter, grounding him ever so slightly. “Yeah. Because it’s scary. And it’s Dex, Derek. Will doesn’t think he’s good enough. He’s had to work for everything and he’s always afraid it isn’t gonna be enough. Even I didn’t tell anyone but Cait and Bitty about my scouts because I was scared that if I brought it up and then messed up and they went away, you guys would all be disappointed.”

“Ah, Chow,” Nursey started and then froze, remembering Dex’s words from earlier.

I’m so fucking scared, Derek, and I didn’t want to be another big disappointment if it didn’t work out.

“Shit,” Nursey exhaled. “He’s scared and I fucking left him alone. I should have been congratulating him and shit and I just left. Shit. I fucked up, didn’t I?”

Chowder nodded, his head on Derek’s shoulder, his arm still warm around Nursey’s waist. “I mean, you probably didn’t handle it perfectly but then neither did Dex. But it doesn’t matter how we feel. He’s scared and he needs us now and we need to be there for him because he’s our best friend. So maybe you should talk to him.”

Nursey exhaled and fought the urge to pull Chris into a tighter hug. “When the fuck did you get so good at this, Chowder? It’s like you want to be the captain or something.”

Chowder blushed because he was adorable like that and shrugged like he was embarrassed. “I pay attention. Plus, I kind of felt like I needed to live up to my dibs. Make sure Jack would be proud that I was in his room.”

Nursey fluffed Chowder’s hair. “He is proud of you.” Derek leaned into Chowder a bit. “Hey. I love you, bro.”

“Love you too. Come on. Let’s go home.” Chowder stood and helped Nursey to his feet and they made their way home through the darkness.

By the time the pair got back to the Haus, Nursey was significantly calmer. He was feeling a bit less angry, still slightly pissed, but definitely back to a level where he could be rational about the whole thing. Immediately after the two guys walked into the much quieter Haus, Caitlin grabbed her boyfriend by the wrist and dragged Chowder upstairs amidst a few weak and drunk chirps. Tango was legit passed out, curled into Whiskey like a cat. Whiskey didn’t seem the least bit bothered though. Instead, he idly played with Tango’s hair. Bitty was in the kitchen, cleaning, when Nursey went to grab a glass of water.

“Derek.”

First name. Oh, shit. Bits was pissed. Bitty never used Derek’s first name unless he was in trouble. Legit trouble.

Bitty’s big brown eyes were soft and tired, but there was a look of disappointment on his face that hit Derek square in the chest. He looked down, suddenly guilty and ashamed.

“He’s struggled a lot with this, Derek. He didn’t tell you because he didn’t want you to be disappointed in him if it didn’t work out. He didn’t want you to be disappointed in him,” Bitty emphasized.

Nursey swallowed and nodded, still looking at the floor. It hurt to hear the censure in Bitty’s voice but it made him hurt for his best friend to think that Dex was so afraid to be a disappointment to him. Him. Derek Malik Nurse. He was like a walking poster child for disappointment. Dex never could and never would be the kind of disappointment to anyone that Nursey was to everyone in his life. Never. “I would never be disappointed. He’s my best friend,” Derek assured Bitty.

Bitty made a soft noise and smiled but there was a tinge of sadness in it. He put a soft hand on Nursey’s arm and squeezed reassuringly as he slipped past and headed upstairs.

Derek headed up the stairs, preparing himself mentally for the fight that would come if Dex was awake and caught him sneaking in. He moved quietly into the attic, avoiding the squeaky floorboards. If he wasn’t in such a somber mood, he’d have been proud at how fucking stealthy he was being since Dex constantly bitched about how heavy Nursey’s tread was.

However, Dex was sleeping. His breathing was deep and even. He was curled into a ball. It was something that Nursey knew he did when he was upset and felt like the world was crashing in around him. Derek silently berated himself again for his reaction before he pulled the quilt that Dex’s mom had made him for Christmas a few years ago up over Dex’s huddled body so he wouldn’t get cold. Nursey stripped down and climbed into his own bunk with a sigh.

He stared at the bunk above him for hours, finally falling asleep just as the sky was turning pink and orange outside the small attic window.

Chapter Text

“No. I’m not going to do that,” Will said without an ounce of hesitation.

Kent smirked as Swoops beamed like a madman over his shoulder. “Come on, Dexy. It’ll be great! Don’t you trust us?” Kent asked, his eyes wide, his lips stuck out slightly in a pout. As if that would work. Dex had lived and played with Eric “Disney Eyes” Bittle. He was immune to such tactics.

“I absolutely do not,” he huffed as he continued to work through his weight reps.

Swoops grabbed his chest in mock injury. “That hurts, Dexy Bear. That hurts me real deep.”

Dex grunted slightly as he finished his set. He put the weights aside and cocked an eyebrow. “The last time I trusted you, I somehow ended up shirtless and wet on stage at Thunder Down Under. I’m definitely not gonna make that same mistake twice.”

Kent smirked. “Oh, man. That was a fun night. It was so worth the ass chewing I got from PR about misbehaving on Snapchat.”

“And I saved every single snap, plus all the videos we didn't share, so we can always relive the moment when the ripped Australian stripper man taught Dexy how to do a body roll,” Swoops cackled, like the asshole he was.

Will glared at his captain and alternate captain. “I fucking hate you guys.” There wasn’t any real heat in his tone though. He was actually struggling to keep a straight face. As much as he’d been embarrassed as hell when he’d ended up on stage without his shirt, dancing to Ginuwine’s “Pony” with a dude named Franco, he’d actually had a lot of fun with the team that night.

And, in what the PR department assured him was a positive, his social media had exploded. He had more than a hundred thousand followers on Twitter now. His Instagram was constantly blowing up. He couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all when he’d found out the day after Thunder Down Under that someone had made a twitter account for his freckles. It and the twitter for Jack’s ass liked to make jokes back and forth to each other all the time.

It wasn’t just his social media that had exploded. Dex had woken up and plugged in his dead phone to charge. The instant it got a little power, it buzzed and didn’t stop buzzing for nearly five minutes. The group chat that had apparently gone nuclear and had a melt down due to Kent's snaps.

AB: EVERYONE GET ON SNAPCHAT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW AND WATCH KENT PARSON’S STORY!

JO: ??????

LD: This is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

JO: OH MY GOD! Is Dex. . . STRIPPING?

SK: WHAT???? WHAT????

SK: FUCK YES!

SK: WORK THAT MAGNIFICENT ASS, YOU GLORIOUS GINGER PRINCE!

JO: Wait. Is that a tattoo I spy?? Dex! Did you get inked???

LD: Looks good, Poindexter. Classy.

AB: Dex got inked!!!!! I can’t tell what it is! I need better pics!

EB: That was. . . better than I expected.

JZ: I’m so sorry, Dex.

JO: That body roll though.

JO: Why are you so good at that, Dex?

CC: That was awesome!!

CC: But why are you wet?

SK: A VALID QUESTION, MY SWEET LITTLE CHOW!

AB: Yeah, bro! Why are you legit glistening??

DN: Ha ha. Nice.

LD: Nice?

JO: Nice?

SK: NICE?????

AB: NICE?

AB: WILLIAM J. POINDEXTER JUST BODY ROLLED WITH A THUNDER DOWN UNDER DANCER! WE ARE INTO EPIC TERRITORY HERE, NURSE! EPIC!!!

EB: Lord. Save me from these boys.

JZ: Tater just saw the video. He wants the Falcs to make a similar one.

AB: YES!

SK: FUCK YES!

JO: OH MY GOD! MASHKOV DOING BODY ROLLS??? YES PLEASE!

LD: Yes.

EB: No.

EB: Ain’t no one seeing my man doing body rolls like that but me.

EB: Also, honey, darling, don’t get me wrong, I love you but you’re not exactly. . . rhythmically inclined.

AB: THAT’S A FINE!

JO: FINE!

CC: . . . Fine. Sorry, Bitty.

It went on like that for ages. Dex sent a simple text back to answer Chowder.

WP: Parse poured water on me after he stole my shirt because he’s an asshole. That’s why I was wet.

It had set off another chain reaction.

One that Nursey had barely joined. They’d cleared the air the morning after the kegster. But Dex couldn’t help but feel like things were still a little off. Derek Nurse was not one to let a golden opportunity to chirp Dex go. Not like this. But since moving to Vegas, Dex had noticed that Nursey wasn’t nearly as. . . frustrating. And his chirps were fewer and far between.

It freaked Will the fuck out. But he didn’t push. He was just happy to have his best friend around in any way he could manage.

“Sorry, Dexy,” Kent shrugged as Will put his weights away. Though to Kent’s credit, he did look mildly apologetic now. “PR is insisting you be a part of this one. Your popularity has skyrocketed since Thunder Down Under. They’re riding the rookie high. Plus it helps that there is a lot of “Can another Samwell player win the Calder?” talk around you and Bittle. You’re popular right now.” Kent smiled and Dex had to admit it did his heart good to see the pride in his captain’s eyes and hear it in his tone.

Swoops draped an arm around Dex’s shoulder. “It’s gonna be awesome, Dexy Bear. You’re gonna look so bad ass,” Jeff said, still beaming like a crazy person.

Dex rubbed absentmindedly at the now healed half sleeve on his right bicep. “You’ve said that before.”

Swoops shrugged. “And I wasn’t wrong. That tattoo looks fucking sweet. Oo! Parse. What if we make him do it shirtless?”

Kent’s face turned down right diabolical. “I think Jenna would be fine with that.”

“You guys fucking suck,” Dex grumbled but both men just continued to smile. He wasn’t getting out of this no matter how much he tried. And he knew for all of Jeff's threats, he and Kent wouldn't actually make him take his shirt off if he wasn't willing. He'd been on the wrong side of tipsy at Thunder Down Under. He'd been way too willing to just let Parse have his shirt. Will looked between the two men who were still grinning and sighed in resignation. “So what exactly do I have to do?”

It didn’t sound too bad. But three hours later at home, explaining it to Nurse over their weekly skype call was pretty terrible. Because Derek Nurse could not stop laughing. He was practically crying. “You have to do what?”

“Look scary as I lift weights. They’re going for intimidating. Swoops wants me to do it shirtless.”

Nurse bit his lip, clearly fighting the urge to say something.

“Oh, just fucking say it, asshole,” Dex rolled his eyes.

“It’s just, you’re not actually intimidating. Plus, you so can’t do this shit shirtless.”

Dex cocked an eyebrow. “I’ll have you know, fucker, that I’ve gained fifteen pounds. I can sure as fuck do it shirtless.” Not that he would. He had a reason for avoiding anything that might catch him without a top. But he wasn’t about to tell Nursey that.

Nursey’s eyes widened slightly. “Seriously? Shit, Dex. You’re going to be massive next time I see you in person.”

“Christmas, yeah?” Will was so fucking excited. He had games that week so his family was coming to Vegas after Christmas. Nursey however was coming before and staying for the actual holiday. Dex’s heart fluttered. He couldn’t wait to spend Christmas with Derek.

“Fuck yeah. Poolside while Bits and the rest of them freeze in the lands of ice and snow? I’m all for that.”

“Good. I uh, I’m still with Parse, if that’s cool. Like you can see,” he gestured to the massive kitchen where he’d just finished having lunch. “I haven’t found a place yet.” Nursey knew this. Dex bitched about real estate to him all the time.

Derek cocked an eyebrow and smirked. “Are you seriously asking me if I’ll have a problem staying at the house of a Stanley cup winning, record setting, future hall of famer captain?”

“Well, I didn’t want it to be awkward,” Will blushed.

Nursey burst out laughing again.

“Shut up,” Dex mumbled.

“That’s the other reason you can’t do the shoot shirtless, Poindexter. You turn red for nothing. Like, you blush worse than Bitty when we used to catch him absentmindedly staring at Jack’s ass,” Nursey chirped.

Dex felt his ears heat and scowled at Nursey’s triumphant grin.

Before Will could say anything in his defense, the door to Nursey’s room swung open and Chowder appeared on screen, beaming. “Oh, hey Dex! How’s Vegas? Cait really wants to visit. Can we visit sometime? Once you get your own place though. We don’t want to impose or anything. Is it fun living with your captain or is it like, super intimidating? Does he make you eat lots of protein like Jack did with us?” Chowder rushed out excitedly.

Dex smiled at his best friends. “Derek is visiting over Christmas. Don’t worry about imposing. Parse is pretty cool about it.”

“Fuck right I am,” Kent shouted from the hallway as he entered the kitchen where Dex was currently sat at the table. Kit followed happily behind and hopped onto Will’s lap. He stroked her fur and she purred.

Dex caught a glimpse of his teammate out of the corner of his eye and turned. “Parse. Is that my shirt?”

Kent looked down. Sure enough, Samwell #24 was emblazoned on the front. “Sorry,” he winked, not actually looking sorry at all.

Will rolled his eyes. “Fucker.”

“You love me,” he draped himself over the back of Dex with a heavy sigh.

Nursey’s face did a complicated twist thing before he managed a smile again. Even if his eyes looked flatter than they had been only moments ago.

Chowder looked ecstatic. “Oh,” he seemed to remember. “We have to go meet Hall and Murray. They want us there to help with the interviews for the new team manager since the one last year didn't work out so well.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Dex,” Nursey smiled, his face softening slightly.

“Oh yeah. We’ve got some things to do too, Dexy.” Will leaned back and looked up at his captain. Kent’s grin was wolfish.

Nursey made the face again. But this time, he looked annoyed. Before Dex could say anything, including goodbye, the call ended.

Will shifted so he could face his captain. Kit made an unhappy noise. The pair had to head to the training facility for the promo shoot in a few minutes. But the way Kent was smiling made Dex nervous.

“Why do I get the sudden feeling that I shouldn’t have agreed to the promo,” he said, eyes narrowing.

Kent shrugged. “It’s just a little baby oil, Poindexter. No big thing.”

“Wait. Oil? What the fuck did you do?” Dex could already feel a tension headache starting.

“I didn’t do anything. Swoops and Becks. . . now that’s different.” Kent laughed. The asshole actually laughed. “Come on, rook. Let’s go shoot a promo spot.”

It wasn’t long before Dex was ready to murder Jeff “Swoops” Swafford and Tyler “Becks” Beckstrom. A few of the veterans were there too, looking unhappy as well. Greg “Pops” Porter, Maxim “Diesel” Domashev, and Philip “Butters” Worth all looked as murderous as Dex felt.

“What is this bullshit?” Diesel growled when he saw the table covered in bottles of baby oil. He crossed his arms across his massive chest. “I am not going to do this.”

Pops made a face. “Guys. Seriously? Baby oil? We were just supposed to work out and say cheesy shit about bringing the cup back to Vegas.”

“We’re still gonna do that,” Swoops grinned. “But now we’ll be sexy as fuck when we do it.”

“Swoops, do we need to have a talk about what women actually find sexy? Because a dude grinning like an idiot, lathered in baby oil is not a dude who gets a date. That’s a dude who gets a restraining order,” Butters held up a bottle with clear trepidation.

Swoops feigned insult as he flipped Butters off.

“Why do I have to do this again?” Will raised his hand. “I’m a rookie. No one gives a shit about me.”

“Au contraire, mon frère!” Becks spoke up. God. His French was terrible. Dex couldn’t help but think that Jack would have legit flinched. “You’re a hot commodity apparently. All the ladies want to be with you, all the guys want to be you. Actually, a fair few dudes probably want to be with you too. It’s the freckles,” Becks waggled his eyebrows.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Kent appeared. With a camera. Because, of course. That’s how this got worse. Behind the scenes.

“Actually, Dexy, freckles are sexy. You’d be surprised how many people like my freckles. It’s a lot. And I don’t even have that many.”

“Dude. Your freckles have a twitter with like several thousand followers,” Butters said. Dex turned toward the other d-man, who shrugged. “What? So I follow your freckles on twitter. It’s funny as hell. Sue me.”

Dex frowned. “That’s weird as fuck, Butters.”

Diesel nodded. “Very weird. You need hobby, Philip. Or cat. Like captain.”

“Don’t mock my cat, Diesel. That’s how players get traded. Insult Kit, end up playing in the AHL. You want that?” threatened Kent.

Diesel shrugged, unbothered. “Such a big threat from tiny captain. I’m too good to trade,” he said with a bland, bored look.

The gathered players burst out laughing as Kent tackled the big center. Diesel didn’t even have to try that hard to get Parse into a light headlock. Dex laughed along and relaxed, enjoying his new, hilarious teammates.

It didn’t last long. He enjoyed them a little less by the end of the shoot. The next two hours were terrible. Dex managed to convince the PR director, Jenna, with Kent’s help to let him keep his shirt on. The compromise was sleeveless. Butters was in compression shorts, looking a bit like a fish out of water. Swoops was wearing the same as Butters but he was far more confident. Pops was in a sleeveless shirt like Dex. Becks and Parse were shirtless but in loose Aces shorts. Diesel was the only one who got to keep his clothes on.

“Because I’m scary, angry Russian,” he winked at Dex when Will complained.

However, Diesel didn’t manage to talk his way out of being covered in baby oil. They all endured that. All seven were glistening from a thick layer of baby oil applied a bit more liberally (seriously, Will was ready to murder Becks for urging the woman oiling Dex to lather on more) than they would have liked.

Dex’s part was easy. He only had two shots. The first was a close-up as he did a bench press and said, “It’s about being stronger.” The second was just a shot of him taping his stick with an intense face. That was all.

And yet, it took two hours.

The rest of the guys had more screen time. Kent was the obvious star. He had to do a lot of lines and different poses. But he was a legit pro at this whole video shoot nonsense now.

And unfortunately, he was Dex’s ride. So Will had to wait for Kent to finish before he could head home and clean off all this goddamn baby oil.

By the time he and Kent got home, Dex was exhausted (and silently plotting revenge upon Swoops and Becks). Even Kent looked beat. They were both still covered in oil. Kent had managed to drive home without touching the leather with his upper body in any way. Dex sat hunched forward so his bare arms wouldn’t touch anything and make it greasy. He was seriously soaked in oil. Fucking Becks.

Dex’s computer chimed as the pair entered the kitchen. Chowder texted about calling and even though Will was tired, he’d texted that now was fine.

Dex’s hair was a mess, rumpled and sticking up all over the place. He caught his reflection in the glass of the kitchen window and grumbled. He looked fucking ridiculous. But he didn’t want to ignore Chowder. Not after Dex had promised his best friend that now was a good time to call.
He answered, expecting Chowder, instead getting Nursey.

“Hey, bro,” Nursey started and then blinked and stared.

Will rubbed a hand through his hair. The oil made his hair stick up even more than it already was. “Hey. What’s up? How was meeting the new manager?”

Nursey didn’t respond right away. His face was still blank and kind of shocked. His gorgeous green eyes just flickered over the picture of Dex. He suddenly swallowed and shook his head before he smiled a little. Dex frowned. He knew that smile. That was not an actual smile. That was his stupid fucking “chill” smile.

“Why are you. . . shiny?” Nursey’s face said he was amused but his voice was decidedly higher.

Before Dex could respond, Kent appeared on screen still shirtless, still covered in his own oil. He looked ridiculous. He handed Will a water bottle as he sat and leaned into the camera view. “They covered us in baby oil. Kind of ridiculous, but we look hot as fuck, right?” He wrapped a greasy arm around Dex’s middle and leaned his head on his shoulder. “Hey, Nurse. How are you?”

Nursey just blinked. But his face was still so calm. “Uh, good. You?”

“Great. You did good today, rook. You’re definitely getting better at everything,” Kent winked and hugged him a bit tighter before taking a long drink from his own water bottle.

Nursey made a sound that Dex thought sounded a bit like a rubber duck getting stepped on. But he focused on Kent first. “No problem, captain. Any time.” He meant it. It had sucked to film but he had faith it would amazing when it was done.

“I’m gonna hit the shower now. I’m fucking beat.” He slipped off screen. “See ya later, Nurse! Good luck with preseason training, bro!”

Dex rolled his eyes and smiled before turning back to the screen to talk to Nursey. Nursey looked unhappy. His face was bland but there was a tightness to his mouth. “Well, Chowder wanted to ask when was a good time to visit so I’m gonna go. I have homework and I need to clean and help Whiskey move to the attic and Bitty stopped by with pie, plus I have to do laundry and shit. See you later, Dex.”

Dex couldn’t even say goodbye before Nursey vanished.

He blinked, confused. The hell?

Chowder appeared suddenly. “Hey Dex. So, Cait thought we could visit for Spring Break if that’s cool.”

Will just nodded and idly chatted with Chowder for a few more minutes before they said goodbye and ended the call. But he was still bothered by Nursey's behavior. Derek looked upset. Why? Dex hadn’t even done anything this time. They’d only had a few real fights over the past few months. Like, when Nursey found out Dex got a tattoo without telling him.

Dex had actually gotten two tattoos without telling Nursey. The first, the reason he refused to do shirtless promo shots, was a deeply personal tattoo. He’d gotten it right after he moved to Vegas. It was small, and simple. But it was beautiful.

It was a writing quill on his chest, right above his heart.

Kent (and most of the guys) had seen it. They knew that Dex wanted to keep it private. It was why all of the Kent's snaps were angled so well, highlighting the other tattoo and keeping the quill hidden in the dim lighting and shadows. Although it got a bit too close to being revealed during one video when Kent insisted on focusing on Dex's abs.

Kent knew that Dex was crazy in love with Derek Nurse. He was supportive. And he was kind.

“It fucking sucks being so far away from the person you love the most. I would say it gets better, but that’s a lie. It doesn’t.”

Kent actually had a boyfriend. The guys all knew but no one knew who it was. It didn’t stop them from speculating wildly. Swoops thought it was Jack but Dex shut that down. Most of the guys thought it was Swoops. But Swoops was. . . well, Swoops. Will wasn’t sure there was anyone who could put up with that ridiculous human.

Dex’s other tattoo which he got on a dare (“Tattoo or you gotta skate the rink twice. Naked. Your choice, rookie!”) was a lighthouse and a ship, in exquisite detail. It took up the entire upper portion of his left arm, covering his bicep from shoulder to elbow. It was beautiful and Dex had to admit that he absolutely loved it.

He’d gotten in trouble for getting a tattoo so close to the preseason but Kent smoothed it over by deflecting the blame. He hadn’t been the one to dare Dex (that was all Swoops), but he made it seem that way so the other guys wouldn’t get chewed out. Instead, the captain took the blame and smiled.

Kent Parson was a fucking good guy.

But that had been Dex and Nursey’s last real fight. Derek felt left out. He’d wanted to be there for Dex’s first tattoo. He obviously didn’t know about Dex’s real first tattoo.

“It’s a milestone, bro! You fucking moved away and now you get a tattoo? What the fuck is happening to the Dex I know?” he’d yelled.

“I’m still Dex. Jesus, Nurse, it’s not a big fucking deal. So I got a tattoo. I danced with a male review. You told me to stop being so fucking grumpy so that’s what I’m doing! I’m still me. A tattoo doesn’t fucking change that.”

Nursey’s face had done the same complicated thing it had done on today’s skype call. “Yeah it does. Because you did it without me.”

That had been the end of that conversation. Derek had hung up on Will at that point.

But Dex didn’t get it. Nursey assured him all the time he wasn’t mad at Dex for leaving. But then he’d get mad at Dex for leaving. Will thought he was jealous but Nursey didn’t want to be an NHL player. He wanted to be able to focus everything on writing and creating his art.

So why was he pulling back like he’d done after the kegster?

Dex frowned and pulled off his shirt as he walked to his bathroom to shower. He sent a quick text to Nursey.

WP: Hey. Are we good?

Nursey responded immediately.

DN: Yeah. We’re good.

Will stared at his phone. So then, why didn’t it feel right?

Chapter Text

Nursey was supposed to be working on his homework for his history course (fuck this history requirement) but instead, he’d spent the past two hours on Youtube watching highlights and other random NHL videos.

If anyone would have asked, Nursey would have vehemently denied that he had the Aces Youtube page bookmarked. He did not watch the season opener video with an oil covered William J. Poindexter over and over. He did not watch the Aces “Get to Know Will Poindexter” every day and smile. He most certainly didn’t watch the videos chronicling the ongoing and intense prank war between Dex and his partner Philip “Butters” Worth (Nursey still giggled at his nickname) versus Kent Parson and Jeff Swafford, lovingly named Swoops.

Except that was a total fucking lie. Because he totally watched everything. All the time.

And this prank war that Derek was way too invested in? Well, Nursey supposed it couldn’t really be called a war when Dex, the diabolical ginger asshole that he was, and Butters were so clearly winning. So far, Nursey’s favorite video was the one taken by Maxim Domashev where Kent walked into the locker room during their Halloween roadie against Tampa Bay, glaring as he pulled off his snapback to reveal bright red hair.

Dex’s sly grin from his stall as he focused on dressing was so obvious.

“You think you’re so clever, Dexy?” Kent zeroed in.

Dex looked up and with just the most perfect lack of inflection or emotion, simply said, “Huh. Guess I’m not the only ginger on the team anymore.”

It was glorious and it had made Nursey’s day.

But at the same time, it made his chest ache. Samwell’s season had just begun and he felt kind of empty on the ice without Dex. They’d had a few games so far and Nursey didn’t feel nearly as comfortable on the ice.

Dex’s season however, was well underway and it was clear Dex didn’t feel the same way as Derek at all. Not with the numbers he was putting up.

Dex’s first game in the NHL? He’d scored the only goal of the game.

Chowder had cried. Nursey had cheered so loud it made his throat sore.

A week later, Dex dropped his gloves and fought a d-man from Dallas.

Chowder had shouted some very un-Chowderlike words. Caitlin threw a shoe at the TV when the Dallas player tried to grab Dex around the neck. And Nursey just grinned at the way Dex smirked as he skated to the box.

It had been a thing of art.

Nursey sighed and slammed his laptop shut and headed downstairs. He wasn’t getting anywhere on his paper and he hadn’t even started thinking about his undergraduate thesis. And watching Aces videos just reminded him that he hadn’t seen Dex in a few days. They were supposed to Skype after the game, thank fuck. They hadn’t connected for a few days because Dex had been on a roadie and Skyping on roadies involved awkward ass teammates named Philip Worth and his tendency to clip his toenails in the background. But now the Aces were back in Vegas for a five game home stand starting tonight so they’d actually be able to see each other. During the roadie Dex had texted and sent snaps, trying to maintain contact as best he could, always apologizing for the lack of calls.

It made Nursey miss him more. And he hated that he missed Dex so much.

The team was gathered to split screens for the evening. Dex and the Aces were playing the Sharks (Chowder was so torn), while Jack and the Falcs were in Chicago, Holster and the Schooners were hosting Calgary, and Bitty and the Bruins were down in Pittsburgh. The TV had the Aces/Sharks game and it was surrounded by three open laptops streaming the others. Nursey laughed a bit at the set up, but he had to admit he was impressed. Dex would have been so proud of their ingenuity. It was like they were in their own little sports bar. Except with more weed, and a future NHL goalie clutching a giant plush shark, that was wearing a black Aces jersey, to his chest.

Nursey took a picture and sent it to Dex. He was in the locker room at the moment so Derek didn’t expect a reply.

DN: Go easy on San Jose, Poindexter. For Chowder’s sake.

His phone buzzed only a minute later.

WP: Can’t make any promises but I did just manage to get Chowder’s Christmas present.

DN: Christmas is next month, you fucking overachiever.

WP: Yeah, but we don’t play the Sharks again till January, you fucking procrastinator. So it was either get Chowder a team signed jersey now or buy him another plush shark. Do you really want another plush shark in that house?

Derek turned to Chowder who, still clutching the shark tightly, was busy telling Farmer how much he loved being able to watch all his friends play in the NHL and smiled. Chowder was going to lose his shit when Dex sent that gift.

Derek’s phone buzzed again. This time it was the group chat. It was a video.

WP: For Chow.

Derek smiled and watched as Chowder’s brow furrowed slightly and then pushed play.

The smiling face of Martin Jones and Joe Pavelski filled the screen.

“Hey Chris, Will says you’re a die-hard fan. Thanks for the support,” Pavelski smiled.

“I saw that game against Yale last week. You’re a fucking beast in the net, kid. I need to watch it. You may take my spot,” Jones winked.

Chowder squeaked and then meeped a few times, his mouth wide and his hands fluttering. Caitlin had to catch the phone that he’d just unceremoniously dropped in his excitement.

“Guys! Stop fucking chatting with the enemy!” Brent Burns appeared but his grin, sans a few teeth, was bright and he sounded remarkably upbeat.

Joe Thornton appeared then and wrapped his arms around Jones and Pavelski. “Thanks for the constant support, Chris. It means a lot. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to go embarrass your best friend.”

The Sharks all laughed and said a quick goodbye.

The camera returned to a slightly smiling Will. “Thought you’d like that.”

The video stopped and Chowder sat open mouthed for a minute. “MARTIN JONES WATCHED ME PLAY AGAINST YALE!” he suddenly shrieked. Caitlin beamed and pulled him into a hug. He was practically vibrating.

Nursey sent another quick text.

DN: Thanks for that, dude. That was so fucking nice.

WP: Chowder deserves it. I miss you guys. I’ll talk to you after the game. Parse is glaring at me for being on my phone.

Derek smiled and then sighed. God, he missed Dex so much. He’d swapped with Whiskey so he and Tango could have the attic this year since he didn’t want the attic without Dex. He was glad to hear that Will missed him as much as he missed Will.

Chowder was still vibrating at puck drop. Will was doing so well his rookie season. He’d scored a goal in his first game. Was on a six game point streak and it was only November.

Will scored the game’s first goal in the first few minutes of the second period. A second followed only five minutes later.

The Haus erupted when Dex scored a third. On home ice.

Hats rained down and Dex looked fucking ecstatic. His face was loose and happy and so fucking beautiful.

Derek watched as the camera zoomed in on Dex again, Parse leaning over to nudge the rookie and wink. Dex was flushed, his amber eyes bright, smile lines crinkled at the corner of his eyes as he chewed on his mouth guard and Derek felt a wave of affection and attraction for his best friend.

Dex was beautiful. And goddamn if Nursey wasn’t having a hell of a time watching the way his lips played around the mouth guard as he chewed on it.

And then Parse said something and Dex was flushing bright red and turning away from Parse with a shy smile.

And Derek knew. He knew right then why he’d felt so off these past few months. Why he was so sad without Dex.

He was fucking in love with him.

He was in love with his best friend. His best friend who was thousands of miles away in Vegas and probably fucking Kent Parson.

Derek Nurse did not panic. Let the record show, he thought with a sarcastic snort. Instead, it was more of a resigned feeling. Like, he should have fucking seen this coming or something. Or figured this shit out earlier when his best friend was still around.

Derek put on his mask of chill and made an excuse to head into the kitchen for the rest of the game. Bitty had sent them all a separate care package of pie and cookies. All while training with the Bruins. Only Bitty. Nursey still had some of his chocolate cream pie left. He was saving it for when he really needed it.

Right now, he really fucking needed it.

He cut himself a piece and then watched the game finish from the kitchen door. Dex got the first star of the game and gave an adorably dorky interview while looking simultaneously uncomfortable and sexy.

Shit.

Dex would call in an hour or so after he was done at the rink and Derek needed to have his head on straight for that so, he headed upstairs, feigning a headache. He opened his laptop and watched the videos for the Aces again. Watching Dex.

Dex.

Dex covered in oil, or whatever it was that made him ridiculously shiny.

Dex looking rumpled and thoroughly debauched.

Derek couldn’t help where his mind went.

“Ugh,” Derek groaned with a huff. He took a bite of pie, biting down a bit harder than necessary and cursing when his teeth clanged against the metal painfully. “Fuck. Goddammit. Just fucking fuck.”

“Nursey? You okay?” Chowder called from his room.

Derek hadn’t even heard Chowder come up the stairs.

“Yeah, C. I’m good.”

The door to the bathroom creaked open slowly. “You sure?” Chowder’s concerned face appeared. He looked like an unsure puppy. Sometimes it was so hard to take him seriously.

“Yeah. I’m just. . . You’ll still talk and call and shit when you start playing in the NHL right?”

Chowder frowned and shook his head. “Definitely. Is this about Dex? He calls though. Did you guys fight again? What did Dex do now? He’s only been off the ice for twenty minutes.”

Derek looked around his room, his small, impersonal room. He hadn’t taken the time to really make it his. “He didn’t do anything.”

Chowder’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t believe you.”

Derek flumped back onto the bed, moving his half-eaten slice of pie onto the side table as he stared at the ceiling where a few stars glowed in the faint light. Lardo had painted them up there a few years earlier. “Yeah. I just. . . Can I tell you something, C? Just you, no one else?”

Chowder nodded and laid beside Nursey on the bed.

“I really miss him. More than I ever thought I would. I was so mad he wanted to leave but I figured I’d get over it. But now he’s out in Vegas, going to fucking stripper shows, and getting tattoos, and being so good on the ice. I just feel left behind, you know? Like he’s leaving me behind and if I keep trying to hold on to our friendship like this, I’ll just be a distraction and liability.”

“Dex doesn’t think that. He misses us too. He tells me that all the time. He likes his new team but he misses us too.”

Derek smiled. Chowder was trying to assure him, but he’d sort of just made Derek’s point about being a distraction. “Hey. Do you mind if I make a phone call really quick, C?”

Chowder bounded of the bed, all limbs and excitement. “Sure. Cait and I are gonna go get frozen yogurt. Want some?”

Derek shook his head and gestured to the pie on the table beside him. “I’m good.”

“Okay. If you change your mind, text me. Tell Dex I said hi!” he exclaimed as he disappeared into his room.

Nursey picked up the phone and hit send on the contact.

Shitty answered after only a few rings. “What’s up, little bro?”

“Can I ask you something kind of personal, Shits?” Nursey questioned.

There was a muffled sound of movement. “Of course. If I don’t want to answer, I won’t. Thanks for asking though.”

“Did you feel like you were losing Jack when he moved to Providence? Like he was leaving you behind and you were going to lose him?”

Shitty exhaled. “Shit, bro. You okay?”

Nursey swallowed but didn’t respond.

Shitty took that as a sign. “Okay. So. First. No. I didn’t feel like I was losing that gorgeous Canadian moose. We aren’t that far apart which helps. Plus, I had my first year of law school to fucking survive so I was fucking focused on dodging assholes in boat shoes and ignoring douche canoe former LAX bros. And my beautiful Canadian tree is a very faithful best friend. Jack gives his affection very liberally but only to people he cares a shit ton about. He’s got a lot of love in that sculpted body. So, I wasn’t really worried. I was upset when I thought he was keeping secrets from me because we are best friends and I want him to trust me with that shit, but I didn’t ever think Jack would disappear on me.”

Nursey sighed. “Oh.”

“Did Dex do something to make you worried, Nurse? I thought you guys were good,” Shitty asked, his voice both soft and calm but there was an edge to it. Like Shitty would chew Dex out if Nursey said the word.

“No. Not at all. It’s just. . . he’s different? Like, the Dex I lived with would never have gotten onstage at Thunder Down Under.”

Shitty made an appreciative noise and muttered, “Glorious ginger bastard.”

“He would have never gotten a tattoo on a dare. He’d have lost his temper and threatened to fucking kill those guys. But now he’s so fucking chill. Did you see his hatty?”

“So fucking gorgeous.”

It went quiet for a long time. Shitty seemed to sense that there was more that Derek wanted to discuss.

Nursey trusted Shitty. And he always gave solid advice. So Derek threw caution to the wind and just asked. “Shits. How did you deal with missing Lardo?”

Shitty fell silent and there was a soft sound of “oh.”

Nursey sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair. “Uh, don’t tell anyone, yeah?”

“Bruh. Never. But, does Dex know?”

Derek laughed. “No. Fuck no. I can’t tell him. God. He’s in the NHL, Shits. I can’t do that to him.” Nursey didn’t quite bury the catch in his voice.

“Ah, little bro. I hate to say this, especially because you’re hurting right now. But it took you long enough.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nursey. Nurse. Der bear. I’ve been shipping the fuck out of you and Poindexter since day one. I’m surprised you didn’t figure out you were in love with him sooner. The way you reacted to him signing with Vegas? Come on, bruh. That clearly had some deeper feelings in play.”

Derek looked back and sighed. Fuck. How long had he been in love and just been too fucking wrapped up in his own shit to miss this? Derek sighed. “Well it doesn’t fucking matter anyways. Dex is with Kent.”

“Whoa. Wait. Hold the fucking phone. What?” Shitty interrupted.

“I’m pretty sure he and Kent are fucking.”

Shitty choked and sputtered a bit. “Why do you think that?”

“Kent is always all over him and you know Dex, he fucking hates when people climb all over him like that. But Kent gets to do whatever the fuck he wants.”

“You sure that’s what you saw, Nurse? Because I’m pretty sure Kent is seeing someone. And that someone isn’t Dex.”

Nursey’s heart lifted only for a moment before sinking right back down again. Because Shitty couldn’t possibly know who Kent Parson was dating. It’s not like they had a book club or some shit where they met weekly and gossiped about their significant others.

Besides, Derek’s mind went over the last few Skype sessions where Parson had appeared. He’d been sweaty in several, Dex too. They were always together and sometimes answered the Skype call together. Even that one time when they’d apparently been snuggling on the couch watching Stranger Things. Oh God. Dex was fucking Kent Parson.

He knew Dex wasn’t straight. Dex had come out to him their sophomore year, revealing that he was mostly into people who he felt a deep emotional attachment to.

They’d had a talk that this was called demisexual. Dex definitely fit. He wasn’t exactly a one night stand type of guy for which Nursey was ever grateful. He never had to worry about Dex sexiling him without significant advance warning.

But this just strengthened Derek’s argument. It made sense that Dex was all over Kent Parson. He was the guy who’d taken Dex under his wing. They lived together. They hung out all the time. They were both stupid hot. Of course they were into each other.

Who wouldn’t love that fucking prickly ginger asshole when they got to know him? Derek fucking did. And he was way too fucking late.

“Yeah, Shits. I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on.”

Shitty hummed. “I don’t know, little bro. You should ask Dex though. Don’t go around telling people what you think you saw.”

“I know. I won’t. That’d be massively uncool. I’m not that big of a dick.”

“You’re not a dick, Nursey. You’re just in love with your best friend who is on the other side of the country. And I think you need to have a real and honest talk with Dex, my beautiful little frog. There seems to be a lot you need to talk about.”

Nursey sighed. “Probably but he’s busy. He’s a fucking NHL star and I’ve got homework. God. I’m so lame.”

There was a moment of silence. “Nope. I think it’s time for a visit. What are you guys doing this weekend?”

“Um. Mario Kart tournament and bad decisions?”

“Wrong. You’re coming to fucking Boston with the boys and we’re going to go bother the fuck out of Bitty until he gets us time with the Bruins and makes us a pie.”

Nursey laughed. “That sounds better.”

“Good. Go call Dex, dude. Talk that shit through.”

“Okay, Shitty.”

They hung up then, and Nursey sighed. Dex didn’t owe him an explanation. It was his life. Nursey didn’t have a say. His phone buzzed.

WP: Hey. Got held up. Give me ten.

WP: Oh, and don’t give me any shit for blushing after my hatty, asshole. Kent already wore that out.

Derek closed his eyes. Kent was chirping Dex and making Dex smile and laugh. Kent got to trace his hands over Dex’s solid arms, letting his fingers play at Dex’s beautiful tattoo. Kent got to cuddle with sleepy and pliable Dex, and calm a stressed and cranky Dex with lame chirps. Kent got to kiss the constellations on Dex’s back and feel Dex’s sure and strong hands in a way that Nursey had to admit, he’d thought about. A lot. Even before he had these love feelings. He’d lusted Dex a fair few times but he’d never done anything about it because they were friends and Dex wasn’t into casual which was what Nursey had been looking for at the time.

Now Kent got to do everything that Nursey had always wanted.

Nursey had never gotten that. Because it took him too fucking long to figure out that he was in love with his best friend.

And Derek couldn’t say a word now because that would be massively fucking uncool. And Dex could do whatever or whoever he wanted. Including gorgeous NHL captains. It was his choice and his life. Nursey didn’t get to complain.

It’s just. . . well, Nursey thought Dex had a type. Tall, big, dark hair. All of the guys Dex had gone on dates with had been. . .well, to be fair, they looked a lot like Derek.

But apparently, he was wrong. Dex’s type wasn’t Derek Nurse.

It hurt so much that it wasn’t him.

He wanted it to be him so much.

Nursey swallowed and cursed a little. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t be in love with Dex. This wasn’t fair.

Especially since Nursey hadn’t even realized how much he wanted Dex like that until Dex left. He knew it was his fault. But he still didn’t want to live with this. He didn’t want to watch as Dex fell in love with someone and left him behind.

Everyone always left him behind. He was used to it. But God if it didn’t feel like someone was stomping on his chest to know he was going to have to watch Dex leave him behind.

As he sat, staring at the faintly glowing stars, he thought about Christmas. How he’d have to sit through a week of Dex and Kent.

He couldn’t do it. He wasn’t such a masochist to be okay with that.

But what else could he do? The more he stared at the ceiling, the more he realized that he had the perfect excuse.

3000 miles.

Maybe now was the best time to start letting go. Dex had new friends. He had Kent and Swoops and Butters. He didn’t need Derek. And Derek needed to move on too. He needed to figure out his future and realize that it wasn’t going to include Dex anymore.

It was just part of growing up and growing apart, he reasoned in an attempt to stifle his growing sense of loss.

Derek made his decision and texted his mom. Dex would understand. He was busy. It would be okay. Plus, he had Kent. It wouldn’t be a big deal.

He got the flight confirmation email at the same time Dex’s face lit up his phone screen.

“Hey,” Derek answered, trying to sound chill.

“Hey,” Dex sounded tired and soft.

God, that made it all so much worse.

“Nice game, Poindexter. Did you keep any of the hats?”

Dex laughed and Nursey wished he could have recorded that sound so he could have it forever. “Nah, but I think Butters did. Kent made me sign his hat because he’s a dick and he kept talking about posterity and shit.”

Kent. Nursey smiled sadly. “That second goal was fucking gorgeous. When did you get so good?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Dex snorted. Nursey could still hear the smile in his voice. “I’ve always been good.”

Nursey laughed. “Always? I remember kicking your ass a few times in practice.”

“That’s because you always fucking cheated!” Dex crowed. “Like that time you threw my stick across the ice? Yeah. That’s not skill, dick. That’s just being a jerk.”

Derek closed his eyes. Dex wasn’t usually chatty but Derek asked, “So tell me about the game. I wanna know how it feels to be a star” and Dex quietly told him how excited he was and how he couldn’t quite believe it himself, talking for nearly ten minutes without pause.

“I fucking miss you guys though. I can’t wait till you’re out here for Christmas. Kent thinks we should go check out Britney. Apparently they’re BFFs. His words, not mine.”

The pain from earlier shot through his chest. Christmas.

Derek knew Dex was probably going to be a little disappointed, but he’d understand. It’s just. . . Derek Malik Nurse was a coward. That’s what he was. He wasn’t going to deny it.

“Actually, Poindexter, uh, something came up.”

It was quiet for a minute. Dex’s voice was soft when he spoke next. “Something came up?”

“Yeah. I can’t make it for Christmas.”

“What?” Dex’s voice raised slightly and he sounded confused. But more than that, he sounded hurt. So hurt.

“I can’t make it, bro. I’m sorry. I have to go to all those fundraisers with the parents. My mom keeps telling me how it’s important to network. I think this’ll be a good opportunity. But we can still chat or something though.” That sounded horrible. He closed his eyes. No way Dex wouldn’t see right through that.

And he did. There was another pause and a huff. “Networking? Nursey, you literally told me last week that you would rather have teeth pulled than do the bullshit black tie events at Christmas where, and this is a direct fucking quote, “everyone in the room is such a fucking asshole that Shitty would implode from just contact with their racist, homophobic, dickbag auras.”

Derek tried to laugh and sound chill, but it came out a bit rough. “Fuck Poindexter, it’s called hyperbole. It’s not that bad.”

Dex huffed in disbelief. “You’re really not coming?”

“Sorry, bro. I just got the email from my mom with my ticket. Non-refundable and shit, you know?”

There was a long silence. “You have never in your entire goddamn life worried about a refund on a plane ticket. What the fuck is going on, Nursey? Are you alright?” Dex sounded worried now.

Derek was barely holding back the tears. His mind was screaming. Stop caring about me, dammit! You’re making this harder. We need to stop being so fucking codependent from 3000 miles away!

“I’m good, dude. It’s chill.”

Dex made a noise that sounded like recognition. Derek waited for him to start yelling at him for being such a shitty friend. He wasn’t prepared for the soft, unsure question that came next.

“Nurse,” Dex said, “do you not want to visit me?”

Nursey hesitated just a moment too long.

“Oh. Okay,” Dex’s voice was even but in those three syllables, the pain was obvious. It sounded punched out of him. There was a soft exhale before Dex spoke again. But this time, the softness was gone. “Yeah. I get it. Why the fuck would you want to hang out with me, right? I mean, I haven’t fucking seen my best friend in months and I miss the fuck out of you. I’ve been alone in this fucking city since June and I’m the rookie and I don’t have my best friend on the ice with me anymore and it’s hard. But I get it. Why would you come here when you don’t fucking miss me? It makes sense. Why would you miss someone like me? No one ever fucking does. My own family barely fucking misses me.” Dex sounded like he was struggling not to cry as he took steady breaths. He was so, so angry. William Poindexter yelled a lot. But when he was really and truly angry, he didn’t yell. He cried.

Derek had only seen it a few times. Dex cried so rarely, and only when he was really hurting or angry.

“Dex,” Derek started.

“Nah, Nurse,” Dex snapped and cut him off. “Don’t worry about it. You have fun with your “thing that came up” or whatever your excuse is. I get it. You don’t have to fucking pretend anymore,” Dex’s voice was monotone and lifeless now. He’d buried whatever emotion and now sounded a bit like he sounded giving sound bites after a game. “I guess it’s probably best if I just stop bothering you.”

“Dex,” Nursey pleaded now. He wanted Dex to understand.

“See you later, Nurse. Have a good Christmas and good luck with the rest of your season.”

The line went dead then and Nursey couldn’t breathe. He’d expected Dex to be a little upset, but he hadn’t expected such vicious anger. He hadn’t expected the hurt in his voice. Or the almost violent reaction.

He dropped his phone, curled up into a ball, and just cried. This was for the best, he kept telling himself. Dex didn’t need him anymore. He’d understand. This was the only way that Dex would be able to be everything he could be in the NHL. They needed to let each other go, find new supports. Dex deserved better than Derek. He deserved a long career without “that one guy he played with in college” weighing him down.

He deserved a best friend who hadn’t fallen in love with him. A best friend who could support his relationship with Kent completely, without pangs of agony and jealousy and anger.

Derek couldn’t do that. And Dex deserved so fucking much.

So much more than Derek.

Chapter Text

KP: Code chartreuse! I repeat code chartreuse!

CC: What?

KP: You really gotta start watching Brooklyn Nine Nine for my references to land.

KP: ANYWAYS.

KP: Something happened, Baby Shark. Something big.

KP: Gingersnap just put his phone through my TV and is currently kneeling on the floor sobbing.

CC: OH MY GOD!

CC: I’m out with Cait.

CC: I mean Old MacDonald.

CF: Worst nickname ever.

KP: You fucking picked it! You picked all of our codenames.

KP: Which, by the way. . .Big Spender? You couldn't have picked something better? Captain Ace. Britney's Bitch?

CF: It's your own fault. You were singing it in the background of our first Skype call with Gingersnap. Get a better workout playlist, dude.

KP: Chirp chirp chirp. Whatever.

CC: Um.

KP: Right. Sorry. Back to serious business. Because guys. Seriously. This is bad. He just keeps apologizing about the TV through the sobs. I’M NOT EQUIPPED TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION ALONE!

CF: Baby Shark is calling Bright Star as we speak.

CF: He’s not answering. We’ll call you when we figure out our end.

Kent put his phone into his pocket with a frown and approached his teammate. Will was still on the floor, his sobs had quieted into soft, shaky breaths. Kent sat beside him and pulled him into a loose hug.

This is why I reached out to Chow back in August, he thought, suddenly feeling VERY glad he did. There was no way he'd be able to handle the coming turmoil without some backup.

“I’m so sorry, Kent. I’ll buy you a new TV. I just lost it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Will’s voice was so broken as he choked out the words. Will’s face was blotchy and red from the tears that had dripped down his cheeks. Kent just pulled him tighter. And Will just cried.

“Nurse cancelled Christmas. He doesn’t want to come to Vegas. He doesn’t miss me,” Will finally whispered.

The heartbreak in Will’s tone almost made Kent cry. But Kent had to be the strong one. So he held Will tighter. “I’m sorry, Dexy.”

The phone in his pocket buzzed but he ignored it for the moment.

“Hey. Why don’t we go out, buy a new TV, and then get the most unhealthy shit possible to put into our bodies,” Kent offered.

Will’s breaths were slowly steadying and he nodded ever so slightly and looked at his captain with wet eyes. Kent almost couldn’t look into his rookie's eyes. The pain in the amber depths was overwhelming.

So Kent did what Kent did best. Made a joke.

“Jesus, Poindexter. You sure you shouldn’t have played baseball? You major leagued the shit out of my TV. Poor Pamela the Panasonic, I knew thee well.”

He wasn’t really worried about the TV. William Poindexter’s mental health however, was a different story.

“I’m so sorry,” Will’s voice was so small. He curled up, pulling his knees to his chest and his head drooped. He looked like a sad little hedgehog, curled up on itself. It would have been adorable if it wasn't so heartbreaking.

“Well, it wasn’t the best reaction and you’ll have to buy a new TV and phone now. And maybe we should talk to the team psychologist to work on some coping mechanisms. But honestly, shit gets broken. Just ask Swoops. He’s broken my back door. Twice.”

Will looked up, his face still splotchy. “Yeah. Um, I think the pysch may be good. I um. I don’t like that I snapped like that. I don’t do that. I don’t ever want to do that again.”

Kent smiled and leaned his head on to Will’s shoulder.

“And how the fuck did Swoops break that door twice?”

Kent laughed. “Can you believe the dumbass broke it with a croquet ball? Both times?”

Will’s lips twitched.

Good sign. “I’m not lying, Dexy. We like to play what we call “extreme croquet”. It’s basically DIY extreme mini golf. We’re so gonna fucking play it some time. Anyhow, Swoops gets a little too excited on occasion and twice, he’s hit a fucking croquet ball through the back door. Scared the shit out of Kit once when she was lounging by the window. She still hates Swoops for that.”

Will smiled. It was small but it was there. “I can see that happening to Jeff actually.”

“Right?” Kent crowed. “We put a fucking mattress in front of the door now. Swoops has hit it four more fucking times. So it was clearly the right move.”

“Maybe you should move the game to a new place.”

Kent sighed. “Well, Jeff, Butters, and half the damn team, live in apartments. Pops has a yard but his wife has banned us. And Diesel won’t let Jeff anywhere near his house. Says it’s for the protection of his property. Most of the guys agree that I have the best yard. Plus, my neighbors are used to the rowdy antics of those idiots so they never call the cops.”

Will chuckled.

“Come on, rook. Let’s go get something to eat. And a new TV and phone.”

Will nodded and stood, wobbling a little. His face was tired and clearly heavy.

Kent pulled out his phone and checked the chat.

CF: Bright Star didn’t break anything here. He hasn’t said a word but he’s been crying.

CF: Oh my God. This is tragic.

CF: We may need back up.

CC: I called Shitty. He’s bringing pie and cuddles.

CC: How’s Gingersnap?

KP: We’re going to call the team psych tomorrow. He’s pissed at himself for reacting so badly. And he’s heartbroken. Bright Star cancelled Christmas.

CF: Fuck.

CC: Oh no! That explains why Nursey has been crying all night.

CC: I mean Bright Star.

CF: God, babe. You are shit at the codenames.

KP: We were making progress with these idiots. What the fuck happened?

CC: Gingersnap got a hat trick and Bright Star seemed upset by it. He asked me some weird stuff about leaving him behind.

CF: Fuck.

KP: Seconded, Old MacDonald.

KP: Okay. New plan. We regroup once both of them are a little less emotionally compromised. Team True Love will fix this!

CC: Yeah!

CF: Aw, Big Spender. You’re such a romantic. Does Tater Tot appreciate this?

KP: Damn straight he does. Keep me posted.

CC: Will do!

Kent pursed his lips as he locked his phone. Will reentered the room and Kent beamed, planning to keep his mood as high as possible to make up for Will’s.

“Let’s go, Jeter. I need me a TV so I can mock highlights. Plus, we gotta celebrate! Rookie's first hat trick!”

Will laughed, an actual laugh, though his eyes didn’t quite light up like normal. But Kent took it for a win. This matchmaking business was apparently going to be a marathon and not a sprint.

************

CC: Um. Bright Star got a new tattoo over Christmas break.

KP: ???

CC: It’s an anchor. Right above his heart.

KP: Jesus Christ. Are these two for real? What did he have to say about it?

CC: He joked about it. Said he got drunk on Christmas Eve and decided to get a tattoo. He told me he picked an anchor because it reminds him to stay grounded.

KP: Oh, that’s total bullshit.

CC: Yeah. I agree.

CC: He’s only mentioned Dex a few times since "the incident" and anytime Dex comes up, he gets really quiet and sad looking.

CF: Baby Shark. Babe. CODENAMES.

CC: Right. Sorry. Gingersnap.

KP: Gingersnap hasn’t mentioned Bright Star at all. I moved Bright Star’s Christmas present from the living room today. He just blinked and went back to watching game tape.

KP: It was a bit unnerving actually.

CC: He removed himself from our group chat before Christmas.

CF: What? Oh my God. That's a serious move.

CC: He's not responding to anyone. Not even Bitty.

CF: Oh damn.

KP: Yeah. I have to force him to socialize with the team sometimes.

KP: Bright Star doing alright though?

CC: He's okay? Not great. But okay.

CC: I’m meeting him at Annie’s in a few. I wish he’d talk to me.

CF: Can’t force him, I guess. He's been really quiet.

CC: Oh. I almost forgot! How’d the psychologist go?

KP: Alright. Well, I think. He didn't say anything other than apologize again and promise to be better. And now he's focused. A little too focused, actually. All he does is watch hockey, play hockey, and probably dream about hockey.

KP: Is Bright Star doing alright on the ice?

CC: He’s alright. But not great. Derek says he’s chill but then he does stuff that makes me think that he’s really unhappy.

CC: I mean Bright Star. This is hard.

Chowder frowned as he locked his phone and wandered towards Annie’s. Chris had been a bit shocked when he'd seen an anchor inked into Derek's chest before their first practice after their short break.

Chowder knew about Dex's writing quill. He'd seen it during a Skype chat when Dex had to change his shirt after he'd spilled water down the front.

At that point, he and Caitlin and Kent had already started working on getting Dex and Nursey to admit their feelings. Apparently, the Aces were all very aware of Dex's love for Nursey and they were super cool.

It helped that their captain was also gay. But it was still nice to know that Dex and Nursey would be accepted.

But then something had happened to throw that all into chaos. And now, Derek had a tattoo on his chest to remind him of Will, no matter what he said about grounding and stuff, and he listened to super sad music a lot.

A lot.

Chowder’d heard him from the bathroom singing quietly along with a song earlier and it had almost made him cry. Which wasn't hard, to be honest. But that wasn't the point.

“What is enough is just to remember that once, once I was loved.”

Nursey’s deep baritone voice had been soft and smooth on the lyrics. But even Chowder could feel the pain from the words. Derek had softly hummed the rest of the song playing through his headphones. When Chowder went in to see if he was okay, he’d hesitated at the door. Derek was facing the wall, away from the shared bathroom door, but Chowder could see the way his shoulders were hunched over, and hear the unsteady breaths.

Instead of bothering him then, he’d texted Nursey to ask if he wanted to go get something to eat. Derek clearly needed out of the house.

Nursey requested coffee and Chowder was happy to oblige.

They met up at Annie’s and Chowder already had a coffee for Nursey. Nursey’s grin was big and bright, but guarded.

“Aw, Chow. You’re a goddamn saint.”

Chowder smiled. “Thank you.”

They sat in silence for a while before Chowder sighed. “Nursey. I’m kind of worried about you. Are you okay?”

Nursey immediately tensed. “Fine.”

Chowder sighed again. “I know you aren’t. You miss him. Why are you doing this to yourself?”

Nursey’s eyes flashed and his jaw tightened. “Listen, I love you, Chris. I do. But this isn’t any of your business.”

Chowder frowned and crossed his arms. “Yes it is. Because I’m your captain. And it’s fucking with you on the ice.” Nursey started. Chowder never swore. He didn’t like to. But right now, he needed to make a point. “And you’re sad. And that makes me sad," he finished, his voice soft.

Nursey looked down and his shoulders slumped. All of the tenseness in him from a moment ago just drained out of him. “I miss him so much, Chow. And he left the group chat so clearly he doesn't want to talk to me. It fucking sucks. He was my best friend. I just wish I could go back and change the past year. Maybe we’d still be friends. Maybe I wouldn’t have lost him. Maybe I wouldn't have made such a fucking stupid mistake.”

Chowder scooted around in the booth until he was right beside Nursey and then wrapped both arms around him. Nursey leaned into the contact like he was touch starved. He probably was, truthfully. They hadn't hugged a lot recently. “I’m sorry. Come on. Let’s go get pizza and play Mario Kart. Captain’s orders.”

Nursey smiled. “Yeah. Okay.”

They left Annie's and wandered back towards the Haus through the light snow that was starting to fall in powdery flakes. Nursey kept his head down, watching his feet. Chowder pulled out his phone while he was distracted.

CC: Progress with Bright Star. He misses Gingersnap a whole lot. I think if we can work out the root of the problem, we can help.

CF: We know the root, babe. They’re in love with each other and too fucking stupid and stubborn to do anything that normal humans do about it.

KP: Old MacDonald. If I wasn’t currently dating the most gorgeous man on planet earth, I’d marry you.

CF: Sorry, Big Spender. Gotta disagree. Baby Shark is that man. And he’s all mine.

CC: Love you, Cait.

CC: I mean, Old MacDonald.

CF: Damn, babe! You are so bad at this.

KP: Well, Old MacDonald speaks the damn truth. So how do we get them to admit their feelings to each other when they aren’t even speaking?

CC: Um. . . a letter? Maybe they can write each other a letter and mail it. I mean, everyone likes to get mail, right?

KP: Oh my God. He’s actually too pure for this earth.

CF: I know. I love him.

KP: Give me some time. I may have an idea.

KP: Keep the faith, Team True Love.

Chowder smiled as Nursey looked up and chirped him for texting Caitlin. Chowder didn’t correct him for obvious reasons. Kent had a plan to help Dex. But so did he. And his plan involved a particular Southern baker who adored his frogs and was currently leading the NHL in assists. If anyone could get through to Dex, it was Eric R. Bittle.

He sent a quick text while Nursey complained about how cold his fingers were. And then smiled brightly at the response.

EB: Oh, don't you worry, honey. Dex and I are going to have a conversation when they come to Boston next month.

Good. Eric would knock some sense into him. Now, he just needed to figure out what to do about Nursey. . .

************

KP: Someone explain to me what the deal with Valentine’s Day is.

CF: Well, Big Spender, Valentine’s Day is a holiday where two people in love show that love by showering each other in cheesy heart shaped gifts. Or in the case of what I got Baby Shark, a coupon book for sex.

KP: Ha ha, Old MacDonald. Ha. No. I mean, why the fuck is my little robot rookie on a war path? Did you guys watch that game?

KP: Also, SO didn’t want to know that about your sex life. Thanks.

CC: Oh, wow, Cait! You’re the best. I downloaded that one cartoon movie you like so we could watch it later and made those brownies of Bitty’s that you like.

CF: Oh my God. Land Before Time and brownies? I love you so much.

CF: My boyfriend is SO MUCH better than yours, Big Spender.

KP: Hell no. My boyfriend is the best. And if he was part of this chat, he'd back me up.

KP: Though, yeah. Baby Shark, you done good.

KP: We’re getting distracted again, people! Valentine’s Day. Gingersnap. Go.

CC: It’s Bright Star’s birthday. He’s getting high in the reading room right now. He watched the game. After I had to pick him up from a party across campus where he’d tried to pick up the Men’s Soccer captain.

CC: It wasn’t good. He ended up bursting into tears mid makeout session.

CC: The captain of the Men’s Soccer team has bright red hair.

CC: This is the third time this has happened this semester. He tries to hook up with these guys who kind of look like Dex but he just ends up crying on the couch.

KP: Ouch.

CC: Yeah. It’s okay though. I sent him upstairs with some of the leftover pie from Bitty after second period. I’m glad he missed Dex’s injury.

CC: *Gingersnap

CF: He was very snuggly and sad. Not a great birthday.

KP: Jesus.

KP: But wait! That’s progress right??? You said he didn’t watch games anymore.

CC: He watched your last game against Washington too. Even cheered when you scored.

KP: Well, that’s good. Now we just need to figure out how to fix my little robot rookie. I’m getting really worried. He’s not emotionally invested in anything.

KP: Except the really fucking sad song he was listening to on the bus today.

KP: Jesus. I almost banned him from using his phone for that.

CF: What song? Gingersnap’s music taste doesn’t tend to run that angsty.

KP: Hurt. Johnny Cash. Not a good choice before a game. I should have seen that red flag. He went way too hard tonight. Part of me wonders if he was trying to hurt himself. He didn’t even brace for the hit at all.

KP: Sidenote, he may be damaging his eardrums. I could hear it through his headphones.

CC: Is he okay?

KP: And I quote, “Couple of cracked ribs and a bad attitude.”

CF: God. These two are a mess.

KP: Don’t worry. Itty Bitty is currently ripping Gingersnap apart.

KP: God, he’s worse than my mom with the guilt.

CC: Yeah. . .

CF: Yeah. . .

Kent could hear Eric Bittle tearing Will a new one from outside the training room. Kent knocked lightly before stepping in. Will had been stripped of his gear and was laying flat on his back, icing the left side of his body where he’d landed weird after the late check at the end of the third. He had a large bandage over the tattoo on his chest like he usually did for games.

Kent had changed before wandering back.

Eric Bittle had not. Still in full Bruins gear, Bittle was glaring at Will. Will was looking away.

“You aren’t Superman, William. So stop acting like it! You were already winning! You didn’t need to push yourself. What is wrong with you? First, you stop talking to everyone and remove yourself from the group chat. Which, by the way, doesn't feel great as your friend. And then you do this," he gestured to Will's side. "Look. I know you’re hurt, not just physically. But that’s on you. You should just call him! If both of you would just talk to each other, this wouldn’t be happening,” Bittle finished with a flourish of hands.

Kent cleared his throat.

Bittle spun to face him and his eyes narrowed. “I’ll leave you to it then, Parson.”

Kent smiled a bit. “Nice game, Bittle. Text me the restaurant details, yeah.”

Bittle huffed but he smiled back. “Of course. Don't be late this time, please. It makes your boyfriend antsy and insufferable. I made you an extra pie to take home.” He turned back to glare at Will. "You too. Though God knows you don't deserve it right now."

Will fiddled with the ice at his side, clearly ashamed.

Kent swooped Eric into a hug. “I’d leave Alexei for you in an instant if you just say the word.”

Eric laughed before pushing the door open. “Sorry, Kent. I prefer tall, dark, and handsome.”

Kent laughed before turning back to his grimacing rookie. Will looked like shit. His face was drawn and paler than usual and his ribs were a horrible purplish color that would only get darker. Kent snapped a photo to Will’s annoyance.

Kent opened his mouth to talk about what had just happened but Will cut him off.

“If you’re here to lecture me, don’t worry. Bitty made his point. I get it," he snapped, but it was quiet and tired.

Kent cocked an eyebrow. “Do you?”

“I know it’s my fault, alright? I know I fucking locked everyone out and I caused all of this drama. But,” he exhaled and cursed with pain. “God. It hurts so bad, Parse. I thought I was important to him and. . . I wasn’t. I’ll get it together. I promise I won’t make such stupid ass decisions on the ice anymore.”

Kent sighed. “Christ, kid. You didn’t have to deal with this alone. We’re all here,” he gestured towards the locker rooms where the majority of the Aces were still changing. “And you don’t have to be put together. Fuck knows I’m barely figuring this love shit out. I spent my first years in the NHL waiting for someone who didn’t even want me to come back to me. But here’s the key difference, Will. I knew he didn’t want me because he said those words. And I still fucking pined like a damn idiot. Don't do that to yourself. Call your boy, kid. Talk to him. Clear the air. Maybe mail him that stupid adorable Christmas present so he understands.” Kent sat beside him. “And yeah. No more stupid fucking risky plays. Bittle’s right. You aren’t Superman. Get that shit out of your head before I make you skate sprints until you die.”

Will huffed a laugh and grimaced. “Thanks, Parse. I promise no more stupid risks. Unless it’s the playoffs.”

Kent rolled his eyes. “You’re a dumbass.” He leaned back and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “You gonna call him then?”

Will breathed quietly for a few minutes. “No. He doesn't want to talk to me anyways and I really can’t handle hoping for something only to lose him again. It'd fucking kill me.”

Kent wanted to smack his teammate or physically shake some sense into him, but a good captain didn't jostle a teammate with cracked ribs. So instead he sighed and pulled up his Instagram and showed Will a picture of Kit.

“Look at how cute she looks in sunglasses, Poindexter.”

“The fuck? Parse, I was there when you took this stupid picture, why are you showing it to me again,” Will grumbled.

Kent grinned mischievously. “Because you never fucking look at my cat pictures and now you’re immobile so we’re gonna scroll through them all so I can tell you about all the cute shit my cat does!”

“I live with you! I know about all the cute shit! I watch you take the damn pictures all the time!”

“Too late!” Kent cackled and Will groaned as he rolled his eyes.

Kent smiled as he swiped through the pictures. Not quite there, he thought. But there was progress.

************

KP: Good luck tonight, Baby Shark.

KP: The Aces are cheering for you from Vancouver.

CC: Thanks!! I’m really nervous.

CC: Is it normal to feel sick???

KP: Absolutely. I puked before the final game in my first Stanley Cup Final.

KP: You’ve got this, kid. Just play your game and be proud of the result.

CC: Thanks!

CF: Get ‘em, babe!!

Chris nodded. Just play his game. Be proud of the result.

Two hours later when Chris sat down in his stall after his final speech, he was proud. He was so proud of his team. They had lost. In overtime. But they had fought so hard against Michigan.

The group chat had blown up, all of the former Samwell players had watched.

And apparently the Aces were ready to collectively fight the ref for some bad calls.

It made Chowder smile, even though he hurt. He looked at his team. They’d done so well. Next year, he’d be in Vegas with Dex and the Aces. He’d sign the contract when he got back to Samwell tomorrow.

KP: Now that’s the kind of game I wanna see out of a starting goalie.

KP: You did good, kid. Head up.

CC: Thanks, captain.

KP: Christ. That’s gonna be weird. Can I keep calling you Baby Shark?

CF: It’s Chowder or nothing, Big Spender. He’s a real NHL player now.

CC: Not yet! I still have to sign tomorrow.

CC: And tell Nursey.

CC: Are you sure he won’t be mad? He got so mad at Dex.

CF: Just given up totally on the codenames now, babe?

CC: SORRY! Bright Star and Gingersnap.

CF: God, I love you so much. I’m going to give you whatever you need tomorrow.

KP: KEEP IT PG, PEOPLE! Some of us are innocent.

KP: And don’t worry, Baby Shark. Bright Star isn’t in love with you so he’ll be fine.

KP: And if he’s not? Well, I think my final plan will work.

KP: I’ve managed to find a chink in Gingersnap’s emotionless armor.

KP: Oh, Swoops thinks you have "sexy hands" so just letting you know that he'll probably call you that.

KP: Don't tell him I told you.

CC: Oh my God, Cait! I’m going to play with the ACES!

CF: Yeah you are!

Chowder sighed, smiling. Yeah. He was okay. This was a rough game but it would be okay. It would all be okay.

And Kent’s plan was outlandish but it would probably work.

Chowder caught Nursey’s eyes as they gestured towards the door. He nodded and stripped quick and then they went for a walk.

“I’m sorry, Chris. I should have played better,” Nursey lamented as soon as they were alone.

Chowder pulled him into a hug. “No way! You played so well! We did good, Derek. I’m proud of us.”

Nursey’s smile was a bit watery but he nodded. “I just feel like I let everyone down.”

“Nope. You were great. You blocked four shots, Nursey! FOUR! That’s so cool!”

“Says the goalie who saved 38.”

“But that’s my job. So it makes sense.”

They sat on a low wall and watched the clouds in the night sky for a while. Chowder was about to bring up his signing when Nursey sighed.

“I wish Dex was here.”

Chowder sat straighter.

“I mean, maybe not with us as a team because he’s obviously doing well, but here. I wish he could have seen our last game.”

Chowder panicked. Did he tell Nursey that Dex and the Aces had watched? Or just let it go?

Um. Okay. “He watched.”

Nursey turned to face him, his eyebrow cocked. “Um. So, I know he hasn’t really been talking to anyone. Even me.”

Nursey frowned. Apparently he didn’t know this. "What? I knew he wasn't a part of the group chat but I didn't realize he wasn't talking to anyone."

"Yeah. He even ignored Bitty."

Derek looked really upset by this. But Chowder pushed on. “But um, I’m going to sign with the Aces and so Dex has been texting me recently.”

Not totally a lie. Dex had texted a few times. Not a lot. But well, anything is more than the nothing Chowder had gotten from Dex for the past several months.

“And he and the Aces watched the game from Vancouver. He’s really proud of you.”

Not a lie at all. Dex had texted before Chris and Derek left the locker room.

WP: That was a great game, Chowder. I’m proud of you.

WP: And Derek too. I’m so proud of you both.

Nursey just blinked as Chowder showed him the text. There was a moment of some complicated mess of emotions and for a moment, there was something that Chowder thought he looked like regret in his eyes. But then his face smoothed and relaxed and his face lit up with the first genuine grin in months. “You fucking signed with the Aces and didn’t tell me?” He tackled Chowder in a hug and laughed. “Jesus, Chow. I thought you were leaning towards Washington.”

Chowder smiled. “Vegas feels right, you know? Will you come visit?”

Nursey’s smile wavered slightly. “For you, Chow, anything.”

Chowder cheered internally.

It was silent again for a while as they both just basked in the cool air.

“Is, um. . .” Nursey stumbled, sounding small, “is Will doing alright? I mean, he’s doing well in the games I watch and stuff but like, is he okay? Are he and Kent doing alright?”

Chowder sighed. “Well, like I said, he hasn’t really talked to anyone for a long time. Not even Bitty. I think he’s okay though. Why don’t you call him? I think he really misses you. Invite him to graduation.”

Nursey looked hopeful for a moment but then he seemed to remember something and shook his head. “Nah. It’s chill. He’s busy.” He stood then but he paused and seemed to be waging an internal war. “Maybe I’ll text him when he’s done with his season. Check in.”

Derek disappeared back into the rink and Chris punched the air.

CC: Bright Star is going to text Gingersnap after the season is over!

KP: Fuck. That’s not till June.

CF: Your season ends in two weeks, weirdo.

KP: NOT THE PLAYOFFS, OLD MACDONALD!

CF: Right. Sorry.

KP: But that’s good. He’s willing to talk to him.

CC: I told him to invite Will to graduation.

KP: Well, depending on our schedule, we can maybe work that. Send me the details.

KP: Guys. This may work!

CF: TEAM TRUE LOVE 4EVER!

CC: Fuck yeah!

KP:!!!!!!

CF:!!!!!!

KP: We’ve corrupted him.

CF: BABE! You never swear!

CF: It’s so hot.

CC: I swear all the time, Cait. You know this. . .

CF: Oh, that’s true. Oh.

KP: STOP! THIS IS A GROUP TEXT!

Chowder smiled and flushed. They were getting somewhere. Good. His best friends deserved to be happy as happy as he was. He thought about the box currently stashed in his gear bag, and smiled wider. He’d spent weeks hunting for the perfect ring. He'd borrowed money from Bitty for a payment but he'd use his signing bonus to pay it off and pay Bitty back.

He just really hoped Cait liked it.

He was still smiling faintly as he wandered back into the locker room where the somber mood had been replaced with light chirps and Tango’s unending questions.

Nursey even smiled, another genuine and content smile.

Yeah. Chris wasn’t worried anymore. Things were definitely going to work out.

************

CC: You sure this will work?

KP: Trust me, Baby Shark. This will absolutely work.

KP: Just show up.

CC: Of course!

CF: Yeah, bro. Like we’d miss a Stanley Cup Final.

KP: Hey. Just saying.

KP: The Universe is clearly on our side with this. We played like shit those first three games. We should have lost in four. We didn’t deserve a game 7.

KP: But the God of Love is on our side!

CC: Anything else we need to do?

KP: Just make sure that Bright Star is IN the arena for warm ups. We need Gingersnap to see him. Alexei will be there to do the rest.

CC: This won’t throw off his game???

CF: Yeah. This could be bad. This is Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Are you sure you want to fuck with your best defenseman like that?

KP: William J. Fucking Poindexter is a beast. Trust me. He can play through the emotional turmoil. Actually, it may help. He may single handedly like fucking eat all of the Pens or some shit.

CC: Okay.

CC: See you soon, captain.

CF: Kick some Penguin ass!

CC: GOOD LUCK!

KP: I don’t need luck. I’m Kent fucking Parson. I MAKE MY OWN LUCK.

CF: . . .

CF: You’re such an idiot.

KP: . . . Okay. Yeah. That was lame. I apologize.

KP: See you guys soon.

Chapter Text

Dex sat alone in the very large, currently empty arena. The pristine ice shone underneath the bright florescent lights, Stanley Cup Final written in big, bold letters. All around him were banners with the black and gold of Pittsburgh.

How the fuck did I get here?

Here he was, staring at the ice before playing in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

Christ.

It was stupid and amazing and something he’d worked for through literal blood, sweat, and tears. He should be fucking ecstatic.

Instead, it just felt. . . hollow.

And that fucking pissed him off. Here he was, on the brink of achieving something that most hockey players would have given their left fucking leg to have and he wasn’t happy.

Honestly, though, Dex hadn’t been happy for a long time.

His team had obviously noticed and went out of their way to combat his melancholy to the best of their ability. In their own unique ways.

Butters was always inviting him to come play NHL 18, eat terrible Chinese takeout, and have a couple beers. They never played co-op because they were absolutely terrible as a team. Which was kind of hilarious given how good they were on the ice. Sometimes Butters packed the system in his bag and brought it on long roadies and they’d play in the hotel room.

Becks had him over at least once a week for dinner with his wife and their twin daughters who, Dex had to admit, were so fucking adorable that if he’d had ovaries, they’d have exploded a long time ago. And it didn’t hurt that the girls loved Dex because he let them play connect the dots with the freckles on his arm. With washable marker, of course. That had been a mistake he didn’t make twice.

Pops was always around during a hard workout to offer support or advice. He’d become Dex’s unofficial workout buddy. Pops was always the person who would snap at Dex for any stupid or reckless choices on the ice. He’d yelled at Dex for ten straight minutes after their game against the Bruins.

Swoops would not fucking stop texting him pictures of animals in party hats. Seriously. It was all the time. Sometimes Dex would wake up at 2 am to a picture of a bunny in a fucking party hat. It was ridiculous.

Diesel had taken to helping Dex with his online courses so he could finish his degree. Diesel’s strategy to help Dex was mostly him glaring at anyone who made too much noise when Dex was trying to study. Or offering his very academic, like Nursey level, insights on literature.

Nursey. Fuck.

No.

He wouldn’t let himself think of that right now. He couldn’t think about him now.

Dex took several deep breaths, trying to focus his mind back on his teammates and the way they’d become his family these past few months.

Like Parse. Parse barely left him alone anymore, rarely letting him beg out of socializing. Which Dex both hated and appreciated at the same time. He knew he needed to be a part of the team and Parson had made sure he felt included and valuable.

Thankfully though, as much as Dex loved Kent, Dex had finally found a place of his own. It was in the same area as Kent but the yard wasn’t finished and it needed some updates. Dex thought he’d use the summer to make it his own. Kent kept saying how sad he was to lose his little roommate buddy, but Dex knew he was probably relieved. Dex definitely was. The weekends when Alexei Mashkov visited were full of day long sexiles and new noise cancelling headphones.

It would be nice to have his own place. Even if it would be a bit lonely without Kent and Kit. Maybe he’d get a dog. Or a cat. Mashkov constantly wanted Kent to get a dog. And Kent was a sucker for making the giant Russian Falconer smile, so they were totally going to get a dog.

It was actually pretty cute. They were a cute couple.

When Kent had revealed his and Mashkov’s relationship to the rest team after Christmas, no one had said a word, much to Dex’s relief. He knew the guys weren’t homophobic assholes because they’d long known about Kent. But there was always that fear. Knowing Kent was into guys was different than knowing that Kent was into guys and currently dating one. But the guys were cool about it.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Cool wasn't the right word because "cool" was not the word that Dex would use to describe this team at all.

“YOU’RE FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY!” Swoops screamed.

Diesel tilted his head and said “So you prefer Russians?” with the perfect amount of smirk and inflection.

“I knew it wasn’t Swoops, you assholes!” Pops rolled his eyes.

“Wait. You all thought it was me? Gross.”

Kent cocked an eyebrow.

“I mean,” Swoops panicked. “Not that you dating a dude is gross, Parse. But that you and me dating is gross,” he rushed to clarify. “You’re not, I just don’t. Blondes,” He floundered.

Butters saved him. “Calm the fuck down, Swoops. We know you aren’t homophobic,” he patted Swoops on the shoulder. “Some of us more than others,” Butters added quietly with a wink and Dex felt his whole world tip off axis.

The locker room had exploded with this new information. This led to a discourse about safe spaces, confidentiality, and support within the team. Kent led the charge, obviously, but soon the whole team was in agreement that the Aces would be a welcoming team and support everyone no matter what their sexuality or gender identity.

There was A LOT of discussion about sexuality.

Turns out, there were four players on the Aces team who weren't heterosexual, including himself. He’d known about Kent for a while. It was kind of hard to miss since he lived with the guy. Plus, after the third Skype sex date with Alexei, it was hard not to know exactly what was going on.

That was when Dex bought the headphones. Best investment ever.

But Will hadn’t known that Butters and Swoops weren’t straight. And apparently, they were a thing? And had been, according to Swoops, for awhile.

“We’ve been banging for three glorious years, my brothers. Philip is my beloved. My one true love. My everything.”

Butters had flicked him in the forehead and then kissed the same spot. “I love you too, you weirdo.”

Watching them interact openly had been both overwhelming and comforting.

Sadly, none of the guys were out. Though Kent Parson’s sexuality was apparently the worst kept secret in the NHL. The other two were much more under the radar. And doing a pretty damn good job since NO ONE had seen that revelation coming. None of them felt comfortable revealing this part of themselves to the rest of the world yet though.

“But we love you guys,” Butters smiled at everyone, though he looked a bit pointedly at Will. “We know you have our backs.”

“Hear fucking hear!” Kent shouted.

When Dex had approached Butters about it later, before they all left for the day, wanting to thank him for trusting him, Butters had thrown his arm around his d-man partner and smiled.

“You don’t have to hide around any of us, little bro. Especially me. We all know how you feel about Derek Nurse. We all support you. How is he by the way? You guys still good?”

In what was possibly the most embarrassing moment of his life, Will had burst into tears right there in the locker room, surrounded by confused and slightly panicked teammates.

From then on it became a rule that the Aces were not to ask about Derek Nurse.

After that, Dex had shut down. Emotions and feelings became an annoyance and liability towards his goal. This goal. So he buried them away.

And the Aces won. And kept winning. And he kicked ass.

So maybe it was worth it.

Except. . .

Was it?

He’d gone back to Samwell a few days ago for graduation.

No one knew he was there. He stood in the back and wore a plain black baseball cap. He watched Derek Malik Nurse accept his empty diploma case. Dex watched him wave to an enthusiastic Chowder. Will wondered if Derek’s warm jade eyes were soft, like they often were when he was happy. He watched him laugh at something a classmate said, his face as bright as the goddamn sun.

He was beautiful.

Dex had slipped out without talking to anyone and got on his flight back to Pittsburgh for game 5 that night.

They’d won.

And Dex had cried on the floor of the bathroom when they’d made it back to the hotel while Parse rubbed his back and whispered soft assurances because he missed Derek Nurse so much that it physically hurt. But he’d fucked up too badly to go back. He replayed their last conversation in his mind constantly.

If only he’d have kept a level fucking head and just talked to Nursey about what was going on instead of losing his temper and cutting everyone out.

There were a lot of apologies he needed to make to a lot of his friends. It hadn’t really hit how much he needed to apologize until he’d gotten a very excited and kind text from Chowder this morning telling him that he and Farmer were coming to the Final with Bitty, Jack, and fucking Bad Bob Zimmermann. These were his friends and he’d just shut them out. Bitty was right. He was to blame for his own fucking emotional turmoil.

Well, after tonight, he’d change that. He’d make some apologies. He’d apologize to Bitty for ignoring him. He’d apologize to Ransom and Holster for telling them to leave him the fuck alone. And he’d apologize to Chowder for not being there for him at all this year like he’d promised he would be.

And Nursey? Well, Will didn’t know if he was brave enough or strong enough to call Nursey. How could Dex ever fix what he did? He wasn’t actually sure he could.

And that fucking sucked.

“You alright, Dexy?” Kent’s voice caught him off guard.

Dex straightened. “Yeah. I was just. Um. Just thinking, you know?”

“Yeah. I know,” Kent said as he sat beside him. “I did the same thing before the last game of my first Stanley Cup Final. It’s intimidating as fuck and you never get used to it.”

“That’s reassuring,” Dex grumbled.

Kent laughed and reached over to ruffle his hair. “Just play your game tonight rookie and no matter what happens, you’re pretty much guaranteed the Conn Smythe. At which point I will kiss your face.”

“Gross. Save that shit for Alexei,” Dex joked.

Kent smacked him in mock outrage. “How dare you? You should be so lucky as to make out with me. I’m fucking amazing at it. But yes,” he leaned back and smiled, “I will definitely be celebrating with my gorgeous boyfriend. After I kiss your face.” He waggled his eyebrows and Dex just rolled his eyes.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the quiet of the arena, knowing in an hour, fans would begin streaming in and the noise level would become deafening.

Dex turned to glance at his captain. Kent’s face was serious but relaxed. Dex owed a lot of people apologies, his mind reminded him.

Including the man beside him.

Dex sighed and leaned back. He closed his eyes, embarrassed as he thought about everything he owed Kent an apology for. “I’m sorry for all the shit I’ve put you through this year, Parse.”

“I’m your captain. It’s my job, Dexy.”

“Yeah, but I’ve been a mess. And I’m sorry.” It wasn’t his job. Dex knew that. Kent was just a good fucking guy.

Kent nudged him. “Dude. We’re all messes. I drink milk straight from the carton. I sometimes buy more underwear instead of doing laundry. It took me years to get over Jack Zimmermann. And let’s not forget our teammates. Diesel calls his mom more than anyone I know for advice on literally everything. Butters can’t kill spiders. He traps them under cups. And Swoops is a barely functioning adult human. He fucking forgot to put on shoes this morning. I had to yell at him to get his ass back to the room and put some damn shoes on before we went to breakfast. None of us are put together. We’re all a mess. Honestly, you’re more put together than most of us and you're the rookie.”

Dex smiled a bit and then exhaled. “Thanks. I’m still sorry. I know I wasn’t easy to deal with this year. But it gets easier, right? Like, I’ll stop loving Derek eventually. Probably.”

Kent’s eyes sparkled and he threw his arm around Dex. “Don’t be so sure the universe doesn’t have some fucking great plans for you, Dexy.”

The universe.

Right. He almost scoffed but Kent looked so earnest that he didn’t.

He’d fucked up with Nursey and the best he could do was reach out, apologize, and hope that one day it stopped hurting. He touched the tattoo on his chest absently. No matter what, he’d love Derek Nurse. But maybe he needed to finally let go.

Derek deserved to be happy and loved. And maybe I do too.

“Come on, kid. We have a Stanley Cup to win.”

Dex stood and followed Kent back to the locker room where the rest of team was intense and subdued. Even Swoops was quieter than normal as he slowly stripped. Diesel looked ready to eat someone. Becks was doing yoga breathing. Pops was talking to the equipment manager about his skates. Butters was staring at the wall, his leg bouncing rapidly.

All around him, his teammates prepped for the biggest game of their lives. Kent was calm, calmer than everyone else by a mile. But that’s why he had the C, Dex figured. Plus, he’d been in this situation before. He knew what was coming.

The nerves hit Dex then. This was it. He had to take a few minutes to breathe before he stripped out of the tailor made navy suit that Kent had insisted he buy because, "It makes you look like a fucking Hugo Boss model. We have the best rookie in the league and he’s hot as fuck.” His fingers shook on every button of his shirt.

As he started to pull on his gear, he slapped a bandage over his tattoo like always. If they won, there would be shirtless celebrations. He didn’t want any drunk photos of his tattoo all over social media.

Dex had just finished lacing his skates when Kent announced with a wink at him, “Let’s go warm up.”

The team roared and cheered and they filed out of the locker room for warm ups. Dex was still nervous as hell as he took a few laps around the ice. He kept his head down, letting the sound of thousands of fans wash over him, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest from the weight and reality of this moment. He came to a stop near Butters who offered a fist and smirk.

“Breathe, Dexy. This is our night,” he said.

This is our night. Diesel checked him lightly as he passed but he looked calm now too. Dex closed his eyes for a moment. The ice beneath his feet was solid and he was strong. He could do this.

He opened his eyes and glanced around, looking at the crowd properly for the first time. Penguins fans vastly outnumbered Aces fans. But there were still a fair few Aces fans.

Lots of fans had signs and a lot of those were proposal signs for Parse and a few particular Penguins.

Will blushed when he saw a few proposal signs directed at him and his freckles.

But one in particular caught his eye as he looked around.

Yo Marry Me Will Poindexter!

Standing right behind the boards across the ice from where he stood was Holster and Ransom holding a sign, shouting his name. Jack and Bitty stood nearby laughing, with a beaming Alexei Mashkov. Chowder and Farmer were cheering. But Dex barely paid attention to them. Standing next to Chowder, looking extremely nervous was Derek.

Nursey smiled and gave a little awkward wave.

Dex just stared, feeling a bit like the air had been punched out of him.

Kent appeared at his side and nudged him with a grin. “Head in the game, Dexy.”

It took Dex an embarrassing amount of time to realize he still had to play a hockey game because right there, waving at him, smiling at him, was Derek Nurse.

He was here. Derek was at the final.

Dex felt something in his chest that felt a bit like hope. He couldn’t help it. All of his plans to give up on Derek flew right out of the window. Because he was here! He was smiling at Dex.

Will knew he was supposed to be getting ready for the biggest game of his life. He was supposed to look intimidating. He wasn’t supposed to be gaping like the lovestruck idiot that he was.

But he didn’t care. Derek was here. He was here! And he was SMILING AT DEX!

Dex beamed at Nursey and waved back.

Kent was right. The universe clearly was on his side. That or. . . Dex narrowed his eyes as they headed back to the locker room for one last pep talk. He shoved Kent lightly from behind. “You fucking planned that, didn’t you?”

Kent tried to look innocent, but there was a reason he wasn’t an actor. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Dex tried to look angry but he couldn’t stop the smile. “You fucker. What if I’d been pissed?”

Kent just shrugged, unbothered. “Well, I figured if you got angry, you could use that rage to like, eat Crosby or Fleury or some shit and we’d win.”

Dex smiled. “We’ll still win.”

“Fuck yeah we will,” Kent punched him.

In the locker room, Kent gave a short but to the point pep talk. “I’m not going to give a big speech here. We know what we have to do. We know we can do it. So let’s go out there and kick some Penguin ass and take Lord fucking Stanley home to Vegas!”

And then the game was on. Dex focused, but he never forgot that Nursey was there. For the first time, Nursey was watching him play a pro game in person. He was there and Dex was never going to forget the way Nursey had smiled at him through the boards, as if he wasn’t sure if Dex was happy or not.

If only Nursey knew how fucking excited Dex was that he was there. After, Dex promised himself. After you win this game, you need to tell him everything.

Win this fucking cup and then tell Derek Nurse that you’re in love with him and never want to lose him again.

Nursey’s presence in the arena calmed Dex in a way that nothing else had all season. He’d been amazing, but tonight it just felt better. Dex and Butters were on fire. Nothing was getting past them. But nothing was getting past the Penguins either. Still, Dex felt good. He felt like this game was his.

It happened at the beginning of the third period.

A poor turnover from the Penguins set up an amazing three on two situation.

A sweet pass from Kent on to Dex’s tape and that was it. It was a perfect one timer from the blue line. Top shelf, right past the glove.

Dex had scored a goal in the Stanley Cup Final.

His teammates crowded him into the boards and from where he stood, he could see his friends losing their collective minds. Nursey looked so proud and so happy and Dex just wanted to talk to him. And kiss him until neither of us can remember our own damn names. But he had 18 more minutes.

Just 18 more minutes.

Dex was still riding the high of his goal when he got hit.

He hadn’t seen it coming. It was on his blind side.

He wasn’t able to brace for it.

He felt the jolt of a body hitting his as he was sprinting towards the puck, his momentum carrying him forward. Too fast.

He felt his skates leave the ice and time seemed to slow as he watched the ice below him, unable to do anything about the way he was about to land.

He heard the crack of his helmet on the ice.

And then nothing.

Chapter Text

“I’m not so sure this is a good idea, Chris.” Nursey was fidgety as he picked at the hem of the Poindexter jersey he wore.

But really, who could blame him? Somehow he’d let Chowder and Farmer, and honestly, pretty much every former Haus occupant during his time at Samwell, convince him to come to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

To watch Dex.

Derek hadn’t seen or talked to Dex since that disastrous phone call in November. And now Derek was in the PPG PAINTS Arena to watch as Dex fought the Penguins in one last game for the cup.

Fuck. He really should have said no. And he shouldn’t have worn Dex’s number. What if it upset Dex that he was in his jersey and then Dex played terribly and the Aces lost? God, he was stupid. He should have gone with Parson or something.

“This is ‘swawesome!” Chowder was in awe as they made their way down to their seats. He kept pointing and gasping excitedly. Farmer smiled at him fondly and indulged his excitement.

They had seats right behind the boards. Derek hadn’t questioned how they’d gotten such good ones at such short notice. Not when they had three (four, technically but Dex hadn’t spoken to anyone in months) pro players and a future pro in their friend group.

“NURSEY!” Holster’s voice echoed off the glass and Derek managed a smile before he was accosted by Holster and Ransom. “We’ve missed you!”

“You saw me a few days ago at graduation.”

Ransom flung an arm around his shoulder. “We still missed you. Any decisions on where your headed next? May I offer a suggestion? Seattle is pretty fucking awesome. And very writer friendly.”

Just be chill. “Nah, I haven’t figured that out yet, Rans. I’m gonna take a few weeks and see what feels good, you know? Besides, I’ve always got New York.”

“That’s true, bro,” Holster nodded. “It's like, your happy place.”

Not quite. Nursey wasn’t sure he had one of those. But New York was somewhere he knew and understood. Everyone else in the group had a place or a purpose. Nursey was just floating. He didn’t belong anywhere.

He especially didn’t belong here in the arena to cheer for Dex. Not after what he did to him.

If he thought about this anymore, he was going to have a panic attack. There was just too much happening right now.

Time for a change of subject. “So, which one of you got us these sweet seats?” Nursey asked with a grin. He was trying so hard to stay calm.

Holster shrugged. “It wasn’t us,” he said as he gestured between him and Ransom. “We’re betting on Jack since Papa Zimmermann is a God here. Plus, Jack was the one who invited us, so it was totally him.”

“Wasn’t me,” Jack’s voice spoke from behind and everyone smiled as he and Bitty slipped into their seats. Jack was carrying a rolled up poster.

“Wasn’t me either,” Bitty said.

Nursey frowned. “Wait. So if it wasn’t you guys,” he motioned to the three pro players, “then how the fuck did we get such good tickets?”

Bitty and Jack both smiled at Chris.

“Um. . .” Everyone turned to face a very embarrassed looking Chowder. “Surprise. I asked the GM if I could have some and well, Kent sort of helped.”

Holster laughed. “Fuck yeah, Chowder! Already using those perks for all the right reasons.”

Farmer looked so proud.

“I couldn’t get Shitty and Lardo seats too. I hope they aren’t mad?” he turned to Jack, looking suddenly upset. "I was already pushing it with eight tickets and they couldn’t get another two. I’m sorry.”

Eight tickets? Who was the eighth? He glanced to this side at the empty seat.

Jack shook his head and smiled assuringly at Chowder before Nursey could ask. “Nah. I think they’re happier up in the box with my dad. Shitty almost fainted when I told him he could have our seats since Bits wanted to be close to the action.”

“I’m the only one here who hasn’t been in a Stanley Cup Final, thank you,” Bitty huffed. “Well, of the pros that is. I wanted to be close to the game.”

“I haven’t either, Bitty,” Holster argued.

“You guys made the Western Conference last year. That counts for something, Holtzy,” Ransom soothed.

It was true. Of the guys, Bitty was the only whose team hadn’t made a playoff run. The Bruins hadn’t made the playoffs at all. The Schooners had lost in the first round this season to the Blackhawks after almost winning the Western Conference last season. And the Falconers had lost to the Penguins in six games in the Eastern Conference Final.

It seemed fair that he be allowed to be closer to the action.

“Wait. Bro. Shitty is in the box?” Holster seemed to just realize something. “Like, with your dad and his friends.”

Jack nodded. “Yeah.”

“LIKE MARIO FUCKING LEMIEUX?”

“Yeah,” Jack nodded, unbothered by Holster’s enthusiasm. “Uncle Mario and my dad love coming to playoff games. Uncle Wayne is up there too even though he didn’t play for either team. I think he just likes to be part of the excitement.”

The group fell silent for a moment.

“Goddammit. I forgot how casual you are about hanging out with hockey royalty. And why didn’t you give me the tickets?” Holster looked hurt. “We see how it is. You don’t want Rans and me to meet legends!”

“Sorry. Next time we watch Dex play in a Stanley Cup Final, I’ll let you sit with my dad and his hockey buddies.”

Holster squawked. “Excuse me. But just Dex? There are three other pros here. Next Final one of us in, I call box seats. I call dibs!”

“You’ll have to fight Shitty. And you may be in the Final next time!”

“WELL THEN, A FINAL I’M NOT IN! DIBS!!!!”

Nursey laughed, almost forgetting his nerves as Holster pestered Jack. Bitty rolled his eyes and ignored them. He made his way past a wildly gesticulating Holster to sit in the still empty seat next to Nursey.

“You alright, Derek?”

Derek looked around. The ice was still empty but the players would be spilling out soon. “Yeah. I’m good. I mean, I’m at a Stanley Cup final.” Bitty cocked an eyebrow and Derek shrugged. “Yeah, Bitty. I’m chill.” Bitty just rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded a bit like, “Lord save me from these boys” before he stood and made his way back to Jack’s side.

“MAKE LARDO COME DOWN HERE! SHE DOESN’T EVEN APPRECIATE THE HONOR SHE HAS BEEN GIVEN! WE HAVE A SPARE!”

Chowder shook his head. “We don’t, actually.”

That reminded Nursey. “Who’s got the eighth ticket?”

“Zimmboni! Itty Bitty!”

Nursey watched Ransom head spin so fast it was a miracle he didn’t give himself whiplash. Jack smiled and Bitty rolled his eyes as Alexei Mashkov struggled through the small rows towards them. He looked like Christmas had come early with his big jovial grin. He was wearing an Aces jersey with Parson’s 90 on the back.

Derek wasn’t sure what was happening when the large man plopped into the seat beside him. He had a large Christmas gift bag with him that he struggled to tuck into the small space by his feet.

Maybe Christmas had come early. What the hell was with the bag?

“Derek Nurse!”

Derek blinked, still somewhat shocked and confused before he stuck out a hand. “Uh, yeah. Hey. Um. Call me Nursey.” Mashkov’s massive hand enveloped his in strong handshake.

“You call me Tater then, yes?” He grinned like the giant puppy he was.

Nursey just nodded. Still completely lost.

Alexei patted him firmly on the back. “Good. Kenny say you play defense with his rookie. Must be good.”

Derek nearly choked, barely maintaining his chill. “Pretty good. Not as good as Dex or Holster though.”

At the mention of Holster, Alexei offered a fist which Holster bumped. “Birkholtz. You have bad luck in first round. Next season we see you in Finals?”

“Not if we have anything to say about it,” Bitty chirped.

Alexei laughed and his smile was huge. “True. With speedy Bitty, Bruins may be good again.” Alexei turned back to Derek. “I’m have thing for you,” he gestured to the package. “But am giving to you after warmups. Kenny’s orders.”

Derek frowned, completely lost. Wait. What? The Christmas present was for him? He looked around to see if this made any sense to anyone, but everyone looked equally as confused.

Except for one.

Chowder.

Christopher Chow was pointedly looking at something across the ice, avoiding Derek’s gaze. Caitlin rolled her eyes.

“What’s in the bag, Chowder?”

Chowder shrugged but he still didn’t look at Nursey. “I don’t know. I really don’t. But I bet it’s something you need to see.”

Derek’s eyes narrowed.

“No, really. I don’t know. I just was supposed to get you to the game. I don’t know what else is going to happen.” Chowder held up his hands and looked completely panicked.

What?

Farmer snorted. “Oh, babe. This is like the codenames all over again.”

Codenames? WHAT?

Nursey’s confusion must have shown on his face because Farmer reached across Chris to grab his hand. He looked up and met her fierce yet soft gaze.

“Listen, Der Bear. We have no idea what’s going to happen. That’s the truth. Chris got the tickets from the Aces and we came. And we invited you because as much as you bitch and moan otherwise, you’re stupid proud of William J. Poindexter. And we all know that you’ve missed the hell out of Dex. So just. . . let it happen, yeah? Go with the flow. Be chill,” she finished with a smirk.

“Oh damn,” Holster said quietly.

“Wow. Well done, Farmer,” Ransom offered a hand and Cait slapped it lightly.

Just let it happen? Let what happen? What the hell is going on?

“Oh,” Jack stood and hoisted the rolled poster he’d brought with him over to Ransom and Holster. “Shitty insisted we make this tradition. It’s a new twist on an old favorite. I figured you two would want to hold it. Or Nurse, maybe?”

Holster unrolled the poster. Yo Marry Me Will Poindexter! was painted in glittery letters across the white paper.

Ransom refused to let it go.

Which was fine by Nursey. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hold that sign. He was already nervous enough about seeing Dex. He didn’t need an absurd sign to add to that.

Alexei nudged him when the teams began to spill onto the ice.

And suddenly, there he was. 24. His helmet was undone, his head down. But even from where he sat, Derek could see the tension in the way he moved. He stopped beside his partner on the ice and the tension sort of relaxed. He was looking around the arena when he finally saw Derek.

He froze.

Derek held his breath. He smiled a little and managed an awkward wave. Oh God. This is terrible. He’s going to be so angry.

Derek prepped for the worst.

So when Dex smiled, like legit beamed like the goddamn sun, Derek felt his stomach flip. Dex waved back and kept smiling. The rest of warmups, Dex would look over and smile again every chance he got.

When the teams left the ice, Alexei nudged him and pushed the bag towards him. “Is for you. From Dexy.”

Derek looked at the bag and the card stuck to the top.

He ripped off the envelope and pulled out a super terrible Christmas card with snowmen and cardinals. Dex’s no nonsense tiny handwriting was scrawled across the page.

Derek,
I know you aren’t big into Christmas. But I wanted to get you something anyways because well, that’s what you do for the people you love. I’m not really good at the whole poetry thing like you so I’m not going to try and write something beautiful and poignant. You know that I’m not great with words. Never have been. But I am good with my hands. And don’t laugh at that, you immature fucker. So I made this for you (I’m man enough to admit my mom helped me out) because I wanted you to have something of me. Because I love you, Derek Nurse. I love all your stupid quirks and annoying habits. I love that you’re clumsy and that you like to snuggle during movies and that you always manage to lose one mitten. I love you. So fucking much. I just wanted you to know.
Will

Derek stared at the letter. His hands shook as he shifted the tissue paper to peer inside the bag.

Inside of the bag was a blanket. Like the one that Dex’s mom had made him a few years earlier. One that Derek had always openly envied because no one had ever gone to so much effort for him. It was made of old t-shirts stitched together into one massive quilt.

Dex had made him a blanket. Oh my God.

Derek ran his hands over the squares. They were Dex’s favorite shirts that Derek always stole when they’d lived together. His super soft concert t-shirts and his Samwell shirts. Even the one flannel that was so worn through that it wasn’t even that practical, but Derek had still loved to steal it and wear it because it was always warm since Dex was like a fucking space heater.

Derek’s eyes watered and he had to remind himself that he was in public and if he burst into tears, it would most certainly be replayed on Sportscenter forever.

He blinked back the tears before he looked over at Chowder. Chris smiled and shrugged.

And suddenly Derek felt like the biggest asshole to have ever lived. Dex had loved him? Maybe he still did? Goddammit, Derek wasn’t sure. What he was sure about was the fact that he’d been wrong. He didn’t think Dex loved him and so he cut ties to protect himself.

But Dex fucking loved him. And he made him this stupid blanket with his favorite shirts because he wanted to show Derek how much he loved him.

Derek was having a hard time finding the plot of it all. “But him and Kent,” Derek managed to sputter at one point.

Alexei laughed and then leaned really close so he could speak without fear of being overheard by the surrounding fans. “Kenny is my boyfriend.” He tugged on the jersey he wore as if to emphasize this. “Dexy is very single. And very lonely.”

Fuck. FUCK. Derek had been SO WRONG! And he’d hurt Dex for nothing.

“Oh my God. I need to see him. I need to talk to him. I need to apologize for being the worst human alive,” Derek stood but Chowder grabbed the back of his jersey to pull him back down into his seat

“FINALLY!” Caitlin cheered.

Derek made a mental note to ask about what that meant later.

Chris smiled, his hand still had a tight hold on Derek’s shirt. “We’ll see him after the game, okay?”

Derek hesitated and then looked towards the benches where players were filing in. It was still the Stanley Cup Final and Dex still had to play. Derek sat, somewhat reluctantly. “Okay. Yeah. But right after, Chow. I need to talk to him.”

“Right after,” Chowder promised with a nod.

When Dex scored, Nursey screamed so loud that the people behind him gave him weird looks. Derek couldn’t help his reaction. Dex was going to win. His beautiful, wonderful, amazing best friend was going to do it. He was going to win the Stanley Cup.

Derek wasn’t even looking at the ice when it happened. He had leaned over to ask Bitty a question when Bitty’s eyes had gone wide and Jack had paled. When Derek looked back at the ice, Dex was face down, not moving. Parson was already at his side. Butters had flipped off his gloves, ready to fight.

Derek felt like he was under water. The sounds all around him were muffled. He couldn’t breathe.

Trainers and medics rushed to Dex’s side.

There was blood all over the ice.

Derek reached out, desperate to hold something. Chowder slipped his hand into the grip and squeezed.

He couldn’t breathe.

“Oh, God. Oh my God. Please. Please let him be okay,” Derek whispered. Parson was screaming at the refs now. Alexei was swearing in Russian through the glass. Ransom and Holster were shouting for the player responsible to be ejected from the game.

Dex stood, with help from trainers and staff, and they helped him off the ice. He was awake. He was moving.

It wasn’t good enough.

“Dex.” Derek just needed to see Dex. “Bitty?”

Bitty was at his side in an instant. “I need to see him. I need to know if he’s okay. I need to see him. Please help me.”

Bitty just turned. “Jack?”

“Already on it.” Jack pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed. He spoke in rapid fire French and then hung up. “Come on. He’ll meet us upstairs.”

Derek didn’t question anything. He just followed as Bitty pulled him along. His eyes didn't leave the ice until they were in the hallway. Dex’s blood was still vibrant and fresh on the scratched white surface.

They met Bad Bob Zimmermann in the hall. “I can get you back there, kiddo,” he smiled sympathetically. “I still have a bit of sway around here.”

Derek didn’t look back as he and Bad Bob hurried down to the locker rooms, where Bad Bob had to name drop several times before they got through. It took about 10 minutes, but it felt like hours. Derek didn’t even wait for the okay before he burst into the training room.

Dex was sitting on the training table, unaided in just his pads. His bloody jersey had been tossed off to the side, discarded. His eyes were closed as he grimaced and hissed. His nose was broken and there was a large cut across the bridge that the trainer was stitching closed.

But he looked okay. Well, other than the blood and bruises.

“I can go back out. Let me go back out,” Dex growled.

Oh, thank fuck. He’s grumpy. He’s okay. Nursey felt his heart returning to a normal pace. This idiot.

The trainer laughed and opened his mouth to respond but Derek beat him to it.

“You’re a fucking idiot, Poindexter,” he said, managing by some miracle to keep his voice from shaking.

Dex’s eyes flew open and the trainer turned with a frown.

“Derek?” Dex’s voice was soft, hopeful, and oh God did it feel good to hear that deep timbre again. He wanted to drown in that voice.

Tell him everything right now, his mind was screaming.

Instead, Derek chirped him. Coward. “When they say give it your all to win the Stanley Cup, Dex, they don’t fucking mean it literally. You’re not supposed to die.”

Instead of laughing, or getting mad or doing anything Derek would expect from William Poindexter, Dex just blinked. His beautiful amber colored eyes narrowed in slight confusion. “What are you doing back here?”

Derek hesitated for a moment. Dex didn’t sound angry, so he shrugged and tried to look relaxed even though he was freaking the hell out. “You scared me.”

“I scared you?” Dex looked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Uh, Jason,” Dex turned to the trainer, “can you give us a minute?”

The trainer, apparently named Jason, cocked an eyebrow.

“Please? Seriously. Just a minute.”

“Fine. But only because you’re not exhibiting any concussion symptoms.” He pulled off his gloves and huffed. He slipped out, leaving them completely alone, muttering, “Fucking spouses.”

Spouses? Yeah. Derek filed that away as a question he'd definitely have to ask Will later. Did other Aces have male spouses?

“Seriously, Nursey. Why did you come back here?” Dex’s question brought Nursey’s attention back to the situation at hand.

Derek stood awkwardly for a minute. “Um. I got your gift.”

Dex frowned and then swore when it tugged at the stitches on his nose. “What gift?”

“The blanket you made me for Christmas.”

Dex eyes widened slightly as he flushed.

Nursey had missed how easy it was to make Dex blush. He’d missed how his brow would furrow with concentration or concern. He’d missed how expressive Dex’s eyes could be if you were just paying attention.

God, he’d missed him so much.

“How’d you get that?” He didn’t seem terribly happy to hear this news. He seemed worried.

“Alexei Mashkov gave it to me.”

Dex exhaled. “Fucking Kent. Jesus Christ.”

“Did you really make it?” Derek asked as he took a step closer.

“Yeah. My mom pretty much spent an entire weekend on Skype so she could walk me through it. I even bought a sewing machine for it,” Dex admitted and then blushed again.

God, he was so beautiful.

“I read the card too.” Another step closer.

Dex bit lightly at his lip.

“Did you mean it?”

Dex huffed and looked insulted. “Are you kidding me? Did I mean it? Of fucking course I meant it. Why would I lie about that? That’s stupid.”

Derek moved until he was only inches from Dex. Dex, who smelled absolutely horribly, his hair matted and weird from his helmet. Dex, who was covered in blood.

His Dex.

“I’m so sorry for what I said,” Dex said suddenly, his voice quiet and unsure. “I lashed out and I shouldn’t have done that.”

Derek blinked. Um, what? “Are you serious?”

Dex looked down. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper. You don’t owe me anything and I shouldn’t have expected anything.”

Derek reached out and laced his fingers through Dex’s. When Dex looked up at him, those gorgeous amber eyes of his were so full of love and hope and joy that it made Derek feel dizzy.

“I shouldn’t have cancelled. I was afraid that you were in love with Kent,” he began.

“Kent?” Dex laughed and then swore again. He’d crinkled his nose and apparently that hadn’t felt good. He managed a slight smile before he spoke again. “Nah. Kent and Mashkov are together. I had to buy headphones.”

Derek sighed and squeezed Dex’s hand tighter. “Well, I fucking know that now,” he said lightly before turning serious again. “But back then, I thought you were in love with Kent so I panicked and cancelled because I couldn’t handle watching you love someone else when I was so in love with you and then you stopped talking to everyone. I’m so sorry I was such a coward.”

“You love me?” Dex’s face was bright and open. His eyes fucking sparkled. Derek didn’t know if he’d ever seen Dex look so happy.

He nodded. “How could I not? You’re everything I could ever want. I love you so much, William J. Poindexter. I’m so sorry it took me so long.”

Dex kissed Derek’s hand. “I’m sorry too. You looked so gorgeous at graduation. I hated that I couldn’t tell you that.”

“You were at graduation?” Derek gaped slightly. He felt like his heart legit skipped a beat.

Dex nodded.

He wanted to kiss this idiot so badly. “Oh my God, you sappy fuck. You played in Game 5 that night! How?”

“I flew back to Pittsburgh right after. I was tired but it was fine. I couldn’t miss graduation. Even if I thought you hated me.”

He was going to cry. He was going to fucking cry. “I love you so fucking much,” Derek choked out. Dex had come to graduation. He’d been there. Derek had spent the day wishing Dex could have been there, and he had been!

“Derek,” Dex said quietly, “I’d really like to kiss you now.”

Derek laughed, his eyes watery, but he shook his head. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“You don’t want to kiss me?” Dex pouted, sticking out his lips comically.

“I do. So much. But I don’t want to hurt your nose.”

Dex cocked an eyebrow and smiled slightly before he pulled Derek close and Derek didn’t have time to marvel at how strong and solid Dex felt before Dex was pressing a chaste but warm kiss to his lips. Dex’s lips were chapped and rough but Derek had never felt more content. He’d never had a better kiss.

The door opened then and the trainer returned, still frowning. “Can I finishing fixing you up now so you can go lift the Stanley Cup, Poindexter?”

There were only three minutes left. Parson had scored to make it 2-0.

Dex nodded and the trainer went back to work. They didn’t think he had a concussion since he wasn’t exhibiting any symptoms at the moment so they were going to let him lift the cup but celebrations would be to a minimum until Dex went to the doctor and got the all clear. Nursey listened intently to the directions the trainer gave Dex before they helped him off the table.

“Come on, Will. Let’s go celebrate your win,” Nursey said, pulling his hand from Dex’s. Dex immediately grabbed it back.

“Nope. I’m not letting you go anywhere yet.”

Nursey laughed. “I’m not leaving. I promise.”

Dex’s eyes, though somewhat dull with pain now that the adrenaline had totally worn off, held his with a focused intensity. “Good. Because I can’t handle losing you again.”

Nursey’s heart soared.

“You did it,” Nursey said as they waited for the equipment manager to return with a blood free sweater. “You won. I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry you can’t celebrate with the others later."

Dex shrugged. “I don’t care about that, or any of it.”

Nursey cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t care about the Stanley Cup? That you just won. What the fuck could be better than celebrating winning the Stanley Cup?”

Dex smiled at him. “Being with you.” His voice was serious and sure. “There is nothing that matters more to me than that.”

Derek smiled, fighting the urge to tackle Dex into a nearby closet. There would be time for that later. Instead, Derek squeezed his hand for just a moment. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“But just so you know, if I’m going to have to move to Vegas and be a trophy husband, I’m going to need a pool or something because it’s hot as fuck there and I’m not going to survive without a pool,” Derek said, completely serious. If he was going to be stuck in Satan’s Asshole, he deserved a pool.

Dex laughed and nudged him. “Trophy husband? Please. You know that’ll be me. But deal. As long as the backyard is big enough for “extreme croquet”.”

“What the fuck is “extreme croquet”?” Derek frowned.

The equipment manager returned and Dex pulled on his jersey, careful to avoid his messed up nose. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you everything tonight. We’ve got nothing but time. Oh. And um,” he smirked, "I have a surprise for you."

Nursey cocked an eyebrow. "A surprise, huh?"

"Yeah. I think you need to see my tattoo."

Derek opened his mouth to say he'd already seen Dex's amazing tattoo when Dex grinned and there was a distinct wickedness in his eyes.

"Not that tattoo. My other tattoo. The one I have on my chest."

What? Derek's brain shorted out for a moment. "Excuse me? Did you say you have a tattoo on your chest too?"

Dex patted his chest right above his heart. "Yeah. I definitely think you'll like it. I got it last May. For you."

Holy shit.

With a quick kiss on Derek’s cheek, Dex pushed out of the training room towards the ice.

"What the fuck, Poindexter? You can't just say shit like that and then leave! You asshole!"

Nursey heard him laughing as the door swung closed. Derek pulled his mind out of the sexy places it had drifted to as he thought of Dex and whatever his secret tattoo was before he followed into the hallway where he had a clear view of the ice.

The final buzzer went and Derek watched as the Aces threw their gloves off and piled into each other. Derek watched as Dex celebrated with his team. He watched as Kent Parson kissed Dex square on the mouth and Dex sputtered and flushed, but Derek didn’t feel jealous this time. Not when he saw the way Parson kept looking over towards Alexei Mashkov.

Derek stood amidst the glittering confetti, watching the man he loved celebrate winning one of the greatest trophies in sports.

Dex smiled and winked at him as Butters pulled him into a hug.

He and Dex had nothing but time.

Yeah. Derek liked the sound of that.

Chapter Text

10 years later

The first thing that Will noticed when he got home was that the entire house smelled like gingerbread and chocolate.

Sherlock and Watson (God, I am never letting Derek name our dogs again) rushed to lick his hands and bounce happily at his feet. Sherlock and Watson were both corgi mixes they’d rescued about four years earlier. Some bastard had left them in a box by the dumpsters behind the arena.

Will had found them when he’d left after a terrible loss. He’d bundled them up in a spare Aces hoodie he had in his backseat and had brought them home and presented them to Derek with an unceremonious, “We’re keeping them because some asshole dick cheese left them behind the arena and they’re shivering.”

Thankfully, Derek had agreed.

He smiled a bit to himself as he dropped his bag by the laundry room and headed towards the kitchen where he could hear soft music. Sherlock and Watson followed happily, their little butts wagging. Will chuckled a bit and bent to scratch their ears one more time, earning more butt waggles and lolling tongues. His knees popped a bit when he stood and he had to stifle the groan in his throat.

God, he was sore. But he was so happy to be home. The Aces had played a road game yesterday against the Rangers and won. But it was almost Christmas, and although he and Derek had preferred a quiet holiday with just the two of them for the past ten years, they’d decided to go a bit bigger this year.

For only one reason.

Will stopped at the threshold of the kitchen. His gorgeous husband was humming as he tried, and failed, to put together a gingerbread house. The walls fell over and he huffed, his hands covered in frosting.

Christ, I love this idiot so much. “This is why I told you to wait till I got home,” Will joked and Derek looked up with a bright smile.

Ava squealed at the sound of Will’s voice and started fighting to get out of her high chair to see her dad. Will swooped over and kissed Derek soundly before freeing her from her seat. She immediately nuzzled close to Will and gripped his shirt. Will kissed her forehead and cheeks and she giggled. He contested that there was no better sound on earth than Ava Nurse-Poindexter’s laughter.

“Hello, baby girl,” Will cooed. “Did you have a fun day yesterday with daddy?”

Ava smiled and babbled and Will listened intently and seriously. “Oh, really. He did? Your daddy is silly, isn’t he?”

“Hey,” Derek interjected. “Don’t trust anything she tells you.” He stood and wiped his hands before hugging Will around the waist and kissing the side of his jaw as Ava squirmed. “Good game, babe. Ava was very proud of you. She even smacked the NBC commentators when they said bad things about you.”

Will rained kisses on Ava’s face, making the 7 month old burst into her musical giggles again. “Good. Someone needs to slap those guys sometimes, huh?” He turned back to his husband. “Though to be fair, she does that with Sesame Street too. Hopefully she isn’t harboring a hatred of Big Bird or something.”

Derek laughed. “We should probably invest in a taller TV stand now since she can reach the bottom of the TV on her own now.”

“Probably,” Will smiled and nuzzled Ava’s cheek again as she laughed. Will sat beside his husband and eyed the unsuccessful gingerbread house. It was actually kind of adorable. Derek was absolute shit when it came to building anything. Will had let him “help” when they built Ava’s crib before she came home.

Derek had taken that very seriously, until they’d ended up making out on the floor because every time Will would ask for a tool or screw, Derek would make some dirty comment and put his hand just a little too high on Will’s thigh to be mistaken for anything but indecent.

Will grabbed the pieces of the discarded house and deftly built the small square cottage. Ava helped by grabbing at whatever was within reach, attempting to stick it in her mouth. Derek kept snatching things out of her fingers and tickling her so she wouldn’t fuss at the loss of her “toys”.

Derek huffed, insulted when Will had finished. “I could have managed that, you know.”

Will just leaned over and kissed him again while Ava sucked on a clean spoon. “Sure, babe. Sure.”

“You’d think after ten years of this, I’d be used to you making fun of me. Your dad is so mean to me, Ava. So mean.”

10 years. God, how did he get so lucky. “Could have been 11,” he chirped and waggled his eyebrows.

Derek’s eyes narrowed but there wasn’t any real malice in their beautiful green depths. “Am I ever going to live that down?”

Will kissed him again. This time he let the kiss go on longer and deeper, only breaking away when Ava protested. Derek looked a bit dazed and Will felt a bit proud that he still had that effect on his husband after all these years. God knows he still felt that way too.

“Never. It’s part of our love story. And I love every part of our story, good or bad,” Will said quietly.

Derek sighed, his eyes soft. “God. You can’t just say things like that. It makes me want to do unspeakable things to you, right here in this kitchen. But our daughter is watching.”

“Gasp!” Will lightly covered Ava’s ears and the little girl looked around, concerned. “Not in front of our precious daughter. And the kitchen, Der? Bitty would be shocked.”

“You’re in a weirdly good mood. What are you hiding?” Derek asked.

Will almost laughed. Derek wasn’t wrong. Usually Will wasn’t this flirtatious and charming. Not unless he was hiding something. He got this way before Derek’s birthday every year and before their anniversary. He’d gotten really flirtatious and snuggly the week before he proposed to Derek.

Derek was never going to let him live down the fact that for all of his planning to make it special and romantic, Will had proposed to him in the most Will way possible. While lovingly chirping Derek for being clumsy.

Derek had tripped, and nearly fallen if Will hadn’t caught him, while they’d been walking the dogs one early morning.

“Goddamn, Der. I can’t believe I’m going to marry you.”

Derek had frozen and looked at Will, his green eyes shocked and wide. They’d never really talked about marriage. “What? Marry? WHAT? Did you just fucking propose???”

Whoops. Thankfully, Derek had said yes and they’d married a year later.

Unfortunately though, because Derek could read his husband like a book, he’d caught on to this flirtatious shift and what it meant. Pretty quickly to be honest. Embarrassingly quick, if Will was being honest. Will was not subtle. So at the moment, he eyed Will with distrust and wariness.

“You’re not going to propose again, are you?” Derek asked. “I mean, babe, we’re already married. Although, I still believe I deserve a better proposal than blurted intentions over dog walk.” Derek smirked and then overdramatically gasped. “Oh my God. You’re leaving me.”

Will smacked him lightly, flushing a bit. “Shut up. That sounds like the title to one of your books. No. I’m not leaving you. Wait, are you leaving me?”

“Hmm,” Derek smiled, “I don’t know. I’m rather fond of my grumpy ginger husband. The way he still blushes when he’s embarrassed. His cute freckles. His gorgeous eyes. His lame dad jokes.” Derek’s hand wandered to rest on Will’s rock hard hockey thigh. “All of him.”

Will was about to suggest that he’d be showing Derek what all of him could do after they put Ava down for the night when his stomach growled and it cut through the tension. They both laughed.

“Come here, baby girl. Let’s let your dad get some dinner.” Derek hoisted Ava into his arms and the pair left the kitchen.

Will heated up his plate of chicken that Derek saved. Derek and Will usually took turns cooking but sometimes during the season, Derek had to take more of the load. For a long time, they would just order takeout if the other was gone, Will on a roadie and Derek on tour with his latest bestseller or working with the charity he’d founded. But now they had Ava so takeout happened a lot less and they had resigned themselves to cooking more.

They’d become real domestic in the last seven months. Will loved it.

Will grabbed his food and rejoined them in the living room where Ava was now scooting around the floor happily, chasing Sherlock and Watson who yipped occasionally, causing Ava to scream and giggle and scoot faster.

Will groaned slightly as he sat. His husband cocked an eyebrow.

“Your shoulder?”

Will had hurt his shoulder about five years ago. It still caused him some issues occasionally. And both he and Derek knew that when Will finally retired, it would probably be because of his shoulder. He’d come to terms with it. He had five or six good years left, and maybe another Stanley Cup or two to add to the two he already had, though. Hopefully.

Derek moved closer to snuggle Will’s side as Ava, tired of chasing dogs she was never going to catch, crawled over to the couch and patted her daddy’s legs as she tried to climb up. Derek hoisted her up with a hand on her bum and she crawled right into his lap.

“I’m alright. Just a rough check. I’ll take a long shower tonight and maybe use that weird wrap around heating pad thing you bought.”

Derek looked affronted. “Um, excuse you. Weird? That thing is glorious. And you love it! You use it all the time.”

Will leaned over and kissed Derek on the nose, making him laugh and jostle Ava slightly. “I love you.”

“You fu--,” Derek caught himself right at the last moment. “You sap.”

They were trying to cut back on the cursing in front of their daughter. It was a work in progress. And they were almost resigned to give up. She was going to be raised around hockey players. Salty language was just going to happen.

Bitty and Jack, both happily retired while Bitty ran a small bakery and Jack worked with local youth teams in Montreal, always shared videos of their daughter Amelia who often swore in a hilarious mix of what Will called “Georgian French” when she got frustrated. She was four.

Holster, also retired so he could stay home and be a dad, and Ransom, Toronto’s top pediatric surgeon, always shared videos of their son Carter who would swear and then laugh. He was almost three.

And Chowder and Caitlin’s twins were known to swear at the TV whenever something happened to Chowder, now playing for San Jose. The gold medal winning captain of the US Women’s Indoor Volleyball Team always shared videos to the group chat. To date, these videos were Will’s favorite. Especially the one where Joanna and Ellie had both shouted, “Fuck!” when a player had collided with Chris in the goal, dislodging the goal and knocking Chris off his skates. They were five.

Not to mention that Swoops and Butters took great joy in corrupting everyone else’s children. This wasn't that surprising from two idiots who had gotten drunk and married by an Elvis impersonator at a shady wedding chapel right before the playoffs of Will's rookie season. It'd been a nightmare for PR and the team had been sworn to secrecy for years.

It was was truly amazing that Jeff and Philip's children were actually insanely well behaved despite having father’s who were pretty much giant children themselves.

And Kent and Alexei were just as bad. Only, Alexei often swore in Russian so the Mashkov-Parson daughters weren’t as much of a problem since none of the other kids knew they were actually swearing.

Ava really didn’t stand a chance. Thankfully, the only time they could all really get together was Christmas or during the off season for a hilarious group vacation. So maybe there was hope yet.

“Kent and Chris wanted to know if they needed to bring anything for dinner. I told them that Bitty was likely providing the recipes and we’d be good. Was I right?”

Derek nodded. “Bitty sent me everything we need. We’ll start prep around three so dinner can be ready by six. Sound good?”

Will nodded. Sounds perfect.

“So, you never answered my question, William. What are you up to?” Oh, full name. He was serious.

Will should have known Derek wouldn’t give up.

Now was as good a time as any. He’d been waiting for weeks and he’d planned on surprising Derek later tonight when they were alone but this was pretty perfect too.

“So, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Knew it. Hmm?” Derek vocalized as Ava was pulling and twisting his hair lightly.

“You know how Kent’s retiring this year?” He wondered if Derek would figure it out on his own.

“Mmmhmm.”

Maybe not.

Suddenly, Derek froze and carefully peeled their daughter off his head. “Wait. Are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?”

Will smiled. “Yeah. Starting next season, I’ll be the captain of the Aces. My agent is renegotiating my contract but I think I’ll do it, Der. I’ll actually manage to retire at the same team I started.” It was rare and Will had always hoped that it would happen for him. And it just might.

“Oh my God. Will.” He shifted Ava in his lap slightly and tugged Will into a deep, lingering kiss. “I’m so proud of you. You are amazing.” Derek kissed all over his face.

“I know you’ve never liked Vegas,” Will began. Derek really didn’t. Even though his children’s charity that he and Caitlin had started years ago was based in Vegas, Will knew his husband missed New York. When Will retired, he would surprise his long suffering husband with a move back to the East Coast. Because he missed it too.

Derek rolled his eyes. “You know I don’t mind where we live as long as I have Ava, you, and wifi.”

“I approve of that order, by the way,” Will joked and Derek just kissed him again.

“Oh my God. My husband is the captain of an NHL team. Where is my phone? I need to rub this in Farmer’s face!”

Will laughed. “That’s not fair. Chris can’t be an on ice captain.”

“Don’t care. It’s his own stupid fault for being a goalie.” Derek raised his phone in triumph.

Will snatched it away. “You can’t tell anyone yet, you giant dork.”

Derek sighed. “I guess that’s fair. Does this mean I can give you your gift now?”

Will cocked an eyebrow. “Well that wasn’t your gift, but okay. I can grab yours too if you want to do that right now.”

But Derek ignored him, handed him Ava, and disappeared up the stairs towards their bedroom before returning with a plain envelope.

Will grabbed Derek’s gift from far behind the small, sparsely decorated with lights only on the upper fourth of it, tree (because Ava was a menace) that Derek insisted they get.

“You first,” Will insisted as he bounced Ava. She was sucking on her fist, watching her daddy intently.

Derek tore open the paper. It was a picture frame and Derek’s face softened and he gave Will a look that totally meant he was getting lucky later.

“You are such a softie,” Derek muttered.

It was a picture of Derek, taken a few weeks after Ava was born. Jack and Bitty had been visiting, so Jack had taken the photo at Will’s request because he’d known it would be a perfect gift for his handsome husband. In the picture, Derek was in the rocking chair of Ava’s nursery. He was shirtless, only in his thin pajama bottoms, his was hair sticking up at all angles because he’d just woken up. Ava was only in a diaper as she laid on Derek’s bare chest. They were both asleep, Derek’s head resting softly on their daughter’s as they snuggled. Will had found them like that and managed to sneak off and ask Jack for help before Derek had woken up.

“God, she was so fat. I miss how chubby she was,” he said as he studied the picture intently.

Ava had been a big baby. She was well over nine pounds when she was born. She’d looked like a little StayPuft Marshmallow baby. She was still pretty big but she’d averaged out more.

“I miss it too. She’s growing up too fast,” Will lamented.

Derek’s eyes sparkled. “My turn.” He handed Will an envelope.

Will opened it and frowned. “You’re going to be a dad.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Um, babe. I’m already a dad. You sure you didn’t mean to give me this one last year?”

Derek rolled his eyes but he smiled wider and his face was bright. “No. Will. You’re going to be a dad,” he emphasized.

Will blinked. What?

“Sarah called yesterday. She’s pregnant.”

Will gaped. “What? How? WHAT?” They’d tried several times with a surrogate, a friend of Derek’s named Sarah who’d volunteered happily to be the surrogate for Ava, for a baby with Will’s DNA. But it hadn’t been successful and the doctor’s weren’t sure it was going to be possible. He’d given up hope, honestly. Besides, they had Ava. Beautiful, wonderful Ava. That was good enough.

But it had worked! Will was going to be a dad!

Derek laughed as Will scooped Ava up. “Did you hear that, Ava! You’re going to have a sister or brother.” Will kissed his husband and nearly burst into tears. “It worked.”

Derek nodded, his own eyes misty. “It did.”

“Oh my God. That poor kid is going to have so many freckles. Sarah has a fair share too.”

Derek kissed his cheek. “Perfect. I've always loved your freckles.”

Will held his daughter tight, the daughter that looked so much like her beautiful father. Even down to his wonderfully curly hair. Her eyes starting to lighten into the same stunning jade color as well. “Oh my God, Der. Two isn’t going to be enough. Adoption. Can we adopt? There are so many kids who need good homes.” Will was totally crying now. He didn’t even care.

Derek laughed even though he was crying now too. “Calm down there, sweetheart. Let’s not worry about third and fourth babies until after we have our second one.”

“Yeah. Okay. We’re going to be parents again, Derek.”

“We are.” His husband smiled fondly.

Will took deep breaths, burying his face into his husband’s hair.

How did I get this lucky?

Ava was beginning to fuss, clearly in need of a bottle and then sleep. It was getting late, and they tried to keep her on a schedule, so Will stood and cuddled her close as he wandered toward the kitchen for a bottle. When he returned to the living room, Derek was admiring his photo. Will did a quick change of Ava’s diaper before pulling on her pajamas. Then he settled next to Derek and nestled Ava into his arms to feed her.

It was quiet for several minutes as they sat, listening to Ava eat, enjoying each other in a way they didn’t always get during the season.

“Thank you,” Will said quietly.

Derek leaned into him and kissed his shoulder. “For what?”

Will kissed the top of Derek’s head. “For loving me. For giving me this.”

Derek snuggled closer. “You don’t have to thank me for that, babe. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Will smiled and looked around. He was sitting on his couch, with his gorgeous husband, and beautiful daughter, and this time next year he’d have another child. Will had everything he could ever want.

He leaned over and kissed his husband lightly, softly. “Me either.” Me either.