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Entering the warehouse, Seongje thought that the worst part of the day was over; after being stabbed - losing his glasses in the meanwhile - and getting questioned by the police, he had been pleasantly surprised to see Baekjin waiting for him.
He had been ecstatic at the thought of his boss showing concern for him, he felt like the gesture meant he was finally seen as more than a violent dog that was there just in case there were people to keep in order.
Throughout the years, Seongje could count on his hands the amount of times that Baekjin slightly opened up to him, letting him get a glimpse of the turmoil that was circling in the other man’s head. Regardless, he felt like their relationship was improving and that there was a growing possibility for him to melt the icy heart of his boss.
He should have known better than that. He should have realized that Baekjin’s feeling would be forever tainted with Park Humin; hoping that he could fill the hole left by Eunjang’s top dog was incredibly foolish.
The warm feeling that had sat in Seongje’s chest upon seeing Baekjin that evening came crushing all together at the first words that came out of the other boy’s mouth with cold indifference.
“What did you say to the police?”
Seongje freezes, mouth snapping shut.
What.
Baekjin keeps going with the accusations, Seongje’s eyes flash with hurt and even if he tries to mask it - he’s determined to not let the other boy get to him, he can’t reveal how he carved a hollow pit in his chest - the mistrust hits him.
In a split second, he lets his feelings get the best of him - all his frustration and misery spilling out - and responds to Baekjin, a faked cold tone that unveiled a pained undertone.
He wasn’t concerned about you.
He cares only about his precious empire. Doesn’t he know that you are the most important pawn he has? Is it too much to ask for a bit of empathy?
Seongje finally realized that he endured too much of all this. He can’t go on to torture himself and pretend everything is fine. That he doesn’t care. That the whole situation doesn’t affect him.
“I’m taking a break from all this. Don’t look for me.”
Baekjin doesn’t even respond, just watches him leave the warehouse.
Seongje, on his part, doesn’t turn around. Simply walking out on his injured foot.
𓇢𓆸
It’s late when Dongha hears his phone ring.
He was about to fall asleep - head on Seongmok’s lap as they watched a movie - lulled by his boyfriend’s hand tracing abstract shapes on his side, when his phone started buzzing on the table.
With a groan, he propped himself up and reached for the device.
Seongje. Dongha was confused about the sudden call, but picked it up nonetheless.
The first thing he heard was soft sniffling.
“Seongje? Are you alright?” His concerned tone made Seongmok raise an eyebrow, but before he could answer any of his questions, the phone line was filled with broken sobs.
“He- he doesn’t care. I don’t even know why I thought any differently.” Seongje uttered in the middle of his cries.
Dongha didn’t even have to ask for any further explanation, he was aware that the boy’s devotion for their boss ran deeper than mere hunger for power.
Upon hearing the broken weeping of his friend, he suggested for Seongje to spend the night with them; it’s not like it was a rare occurrence for the three boys to spend evenings together.
When Seongje arrived at Dongha and Seongmok’s apartment, he had red puffy eyes and cheeks stained with tears. The duo - even after years of friendship - had never seen the boy so wrecked and out of himself, he looked more like he was the ghost of their friend instead of the real one.
After they all settled onto the couch, Seongje - between sniffles - recounted the day’s events, from the encounter with Go Hyuntak and Eunjang’s newbie to his fall-out with Baekjin. And, at the very end, he admitted to leaving the Union.
While Seongmok looked at him with a gaze that was torn between desolated and pitiful, in Dongha’s mind the words didn’t register immediately.
He couldn’t believe that the mad dog bit off the leash that he used to treasure with much care, but he supposed that it’s bound to happen if whoever holds the leash disregards the animal on the other side of it.
After Seongje stopped speaking, Seongmok wordlessly left the living room, just to return after a few minutes holding a first-aid kit. He helped the injured boy to take off the gauze and clean the wound better.
While observing Seongmok changing the bandages on Seongje's foot, Dongha couldn't help to bittersweetly think back at the way his friend used to tease him.
After a fight with Seongmok, he used to ask help from Seongje, who was the only other person that knew the ever so stoic boy well.
At the request for support, the boy - with a smirk plastered on his face - would always answer in the same way.
"If you want forgiveness you should probably get on your knees, nothing better than a blowjob to say you're sorry. But you could always just stab yourself or something to see Mok's reaction."
And then - with a contemplating tone - he would finish. "That's also the only way to prove that he's actually and irrevocably in love with you."
Oh, Seongje. What a pitiful way to find out your love's unrequited.
When they settled down again, silence took over the room; but in the sudden quietness, Seongje couldn’t help but spiral back in his thoughts, Baekjin’s cold eyes and detached voice flashing in his mind.
He didn’t even realize he started crying again until he felt his friend’s warm hand rubbing on his back in a circular motion, while the other placed a glass of water in front of him.
Seongje - even as he cried his heart out - couldn’t help but feel grateful for Dongha and Seongmok.
Throughout his life, he never felt like he belonged somewhere; his parents were always too focused on their work to look out for a child they didn’t want and in school he learned quickly that the only way the others would notice him was if he instilled fear in them.
Perhaps that was the reason why, when Baekjin went to reclute him for the Union, he let himself believe he found his place. He thought he finally was wanted - someone took the time to search for him - and that falsely led him to think that there was someone that valued his company.
In hindsight, Seongje believes that the only real good thing to come out from his work at the Union was his friendship with the duo. He wouldn’t change the last couple of years - broken bones and yearning included - if it meant he could keep them near. They had always supported each other in the best way they could, even if their lives were filled with violence, and Seongje - who never had been great at expressing his emotions - was so deeply grateful for it.
Eventually, the sniffles calmed down and the apartment was quiet once again. Exhaustion washed over Seongje while the turmoil of his feelings subsided.
The duo, upon hearing the boy saying that he had to leave - “I’m just keeping you guys awake for something stupid, I’m fine, I’ll sleep it off” - offered him to stay there and then, if he really wanted to leave he could do it in the morning.
𓂃 ོ☼𓂃
Seongje woke up to the sound of light chatter and food sizzling on the stove. He felt slightly better, he was determined to not let Baekjin affect him that much anymore -although if he checked his phone for an apologetic text, that was no one’s business.
When he padded to the kitchen, he was greeted by the sight of his two friends cooking and bantering with each other. As soon as they saw him, Dongha ushered him to sit while Seongmok placed some spicy stir-fried pork in a plate.
“Y’know, food cures sadness” he said as he slid the dish on the table, a small smile on his face.
Seongje - while digging into the plate of his favorite food - couldn’t help but think that he really was grateful to have Dongha and Seongmok in his life. He doesn’t know what will happen with the Union and Baekjin, but what he does know is that - no matter what - he will have someone to support him, somebody to make him feel at home.