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“Phil, come on! We’re going to be late!” Dan huffed, arms crossed and fingers tapping. Of course, after months of preparation, Phil was going to ruin it all just because he couldn’t find his left shoe. He should have known.
“I’m coming, I’m coming, geez Dan!” Phil hurried downstairs, hopping up and down on one foot as he pulled on a white low-top. “We’ll make it, trust me. It’ll be fine,” he added in a soothing tone.
“Martyn is already here. Do we have everything?” Both boys surveyed the mess taking up the front of their new spacious hallway before them. A small metal crate with several soft, fluffy blankets inside, and various treats and toys lay behind the front door, ready to go. But were the lanky boys themselves ready?
“Yes, I think we’ll be fine,” Phil repeated. He reached up to stroke his boyfriend’s arm and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before bending down to heave the crate up with a grunt, metal clanking noisily.
“I hope so,” Dan let out a shaky sigh as he focused on Phil’s ice-blue eyes, the color of calm. “Are you sure you don’t want me to carry that, hon?”
“It’s fine, it’s not that big,” Phil chirped, shrugging his shoulders. Dan grabbed the Pets at Home bags off the half wall behind him and glanced back up at Phil.
“We’re adding a new family member today, Phil. You’re so calm about this,” the younger boy observed.
“I’m excited!” Phil’s grin finally overtook his face, one of Dan’s favorite sights. “Anyway, aren’t you the one who’s been going on nonstop about Shiba Inus for the last three years?”
“Yeah, but there’s so much that could go wrong. What if the foster family suddenly decides we’re not right for him and they found someone better? What if he suddenly decides he hates us? What if he doesn’t like the house? Are we really ready for this, Phil?” Dan’s deep brown eyes were wide with terror. Phil couldn’t help his heart from swelling three sizes bigger.
“Dan, we’ve been over this,” Phil started in his most soothing tone. “We’ve already signed the papers and paid the fee, so everything is official. Plus, we’ve already met the little guy and he absolutely adores us, remember? And hey, he might find the house new and intimidating at first, but there’s so much room for him to explore and the garden is perfect for him to run around in. He’ll love it, trust me.”
Dan had to smile at that. “Alright, I guess you’re right. Now let’s go, before Martyn decides to leave without us.” And, feeling equally thrilled and terrified to begin this next part of their lives, he pushed open the door and trotted out to the dark blue Honda Civic parked in the driveway, leaving Phil clanking haphazardly behind him.
--
“Welcome, welcome!” A grey-haired man greeted them, opening the door wide enough for the tall boys to step inside. Suddenly, a caramel-and-white ball of fluff barreled toward the three of them, running right into Phil’s legs. Phil beamed and stooped down to rub his hands all over the tiny puppy’s impossibly soft body. Dan dropped his bags of treats and did the same, feeling a rare childlike bliss wash over him.
“Well, someone’s excited to see his new owners,” Charles, the foster dad, quipped. “I sure am glad we found you guys.”
“I can’t believe we found you,” Dan replied emphatically, his voice almost muffled from burying his face in the puppy’s fur. “We’ve been talking about getting a dog for so long and now it’s finally happening. It almost doesn’t seem real.” The little fluff ball wriggled around, eyeing the bags hopefully, but Dan had him in an iron grip.
“I’m so glad about that,” Charles beamed. “I’m so grateful he’s going to a good home, although I am going to miss the little guy.” He crouched down to join the petting session with a bittersweet grin on his face.
“You’re welcome to come by and visit him whenever you want,” Phil offered graciously, standing up. Charles copied him, but Dan stayed down to play with the dog some more.
“Thank you, that’s very generous of you, Phil,” Charles replied, and Phil could hear how appreciative he was. “Now, everything’s all arranged, right?” Dan and Phil had signed the papers and paid the adoption fee the last time they were here, when they first visited the dog.
Dan finally stood back up then, swaying a bit as the blood slowly returned to the rest of his body. Phil put a hand on his shoulder to steady him and Dan shot him a grateful smile. “Yes, I’d say we are!” Dan sounded positively jovial now, his previous apprehension completely erased. Phil loved how dogs could do that to him.
“Fantastic!” Charles boomed. “Now, I’ll just go get Susan so she can say her goodbyes.” He left the room and returned a minute later with his wife, a woman whose kind face was lined with the wrinkles of a long and happy life.
“It’s time already? I’m going to miss this little guy, but I know you two boys will give him the love he deserves.” And she bent down to give the dog some love of her own as he turned his big black eyes towards her lovingly and nuzzled his nose into her periwinkle skirt. Phil could tell the little guy was going to miss his foster family, but he was also ecstatic to finally be letting a dog into his and Dan’s home.
Once Charles and Susan had finished saying goodbye and Dan and Phil had thanked them profusely, Phil scooped up their as-yet-unnamed puppy and made his way back to the car with Dan, hands full of both their own treats and toys and parting gifts from the old couple. As the two boys loaded the wiggly puppy safely into his new crate in Martyn’s car, Phil felt like a new chapter of his life was beginning, and for once, he couldn’t wait to turn the page.
--
Dan knew that puppies were hard work. He had spent months and months researching, when he should have been making videos, and made sure that Phil understood everything that went into owning a dog. But he wasn’t expecting the challenge to start as soon as Martyn’s foot hit the gas. No matter how soothingly he spoke or how many times he stuck his hand in the crate for the puppy to sniff, it would not stop screaming like a baby throughout the entire twenty minute drive home. Dan had encountered the infamous “Shiba scream” early on in his research, but it had never sounded this heart-wrenching. Were he and Phil really cut out for this sort of thing? He didn’t think he’d ever been more grateful to finally see his house.
“Well, here we are!” Phil declared with just the slightest waver in his voice. “Welcome to your new home!” Dan used his free hand to unlock the door, and after turning left into the smaller lounge they had deemed the “piano room”, Phil finally set the crate down in the one windowless corner and opened it to let their furry friend explore his new surroundings.
“Dan,” the older man breathed, face alight with youthful joy. “We finally have a dog! I can’t believe this!”
“I still can’t believe you agreed to adopt a meme dog,” Dan giggled, eyes still not leaving the adorable tiny fur ball who was now examining their new fake leather loveseat.
“He’s perfect, though,” Phil sighed blissfully. “Plus, this just means our next dog has to be a corgi.”
Dan let a loud, musical laugh ring out at that. The puppy’s tiny triangle-shaped ears perked up and he trotted over to the brunet, eyes widely begging for pets. Dan gladly acquiesced. “Babe, we don’t even know how this little guy will do here. Let’s just focus on him for a bit.”
“Alright,” Phil replied in mock resignation and plopped himself down on the soft carpet beside Dan to stroke the furry creature. “But hey, speaking of focusing on this little guy, he needs a name! And no, Bear, we’re not naming it Doge,” he warned.
“Hey, give me some credit, I wasn’t even considering that for a second! I was thinking something Japanese, like Makoto or Haru.”
“Dan, we are not naming our dog after an anime character! Especially not one known for being shirtless all the time!” Phil smacked Dan’s arm lightly, shaking his head.
“Okay, fine. Did you have any better ideas?”
They tossed names back and forth until finally Phil suggested, “What about…Loki?”
Dan nodded thoughtfully. “I like that. Loki, Loki…” he tested the name out and the dog looked expectantly at him.
“See, even he likes it!” Phil exclaimed giddily. “It’s perfect! Loki it is, then?”
“Loki it is,” Dan agreed, smiling down at the newest member of their family. “Welcome to your new life, Loki. What adventures we will have with you.”
--
“Dan, I think it’s time to take Loki for a walk,” Phil gently prodded, curling up next to the brunet on the new L-shaped fake leather sofa. Hearing his name, the puppy lying on the carpet in front of them started pacing on his stubby little legs and whining hopefully up at the two tall boys.
“Really? Now? I’m at such a good point in the game,” he whined, eyes not leaving the TV screen.
“Okay, I know how hard it is to leave a video game, but come on. I’ve walked him the last three times and it’s going to get dark soon, I think you should have a go.” Phil’s voice was somehow still nothing but patient.
“Could you please, please, please do it again today?” Dan begged to the TV. “I promise I’ll do it all next week, as soon as I finish this game. I’ll buy you extra cereal this week!”
“Dan, we share a bank account,” Phil laughed, but there was the tiniest edge in his voice. Dan’s stomach twisted, but he remained focused on the game. He would stay up all night if he had to.
“Well, you know what I mean! Please, Phil?” Dan put just the right amount of begging in his voice, so that he knew Phil couldn’t say no.
Sure enough, Phil responded with a sigh and an “Alright. But Loki is your dog, too, Dan. You begged for him for so long, it’s only fair that you put your weight in, too.”
“I promise I will, it’s just…this game is really important to me. I’m sure you understand that.”
“Yeah, of course I do. Just…next time, okay?” Phil replied sweetly.
“Yeah, definitely.” Dan brushed Phil off like he would have done to his parents ten years ago. Phil said nothing and turned around to walk through the kitchen and into the front hallway to grab the leash, causing the small dog to go berserk. Dan felt slightly bad, but pushed the feeling aside. Phil was the kindest person Dan had ever known, and Dan was absolutely going to pull his weight—as long as he got up the nerve to actually leave the house, that is.
--
“Dan?” Phil knocked hesitantly on Dan’s bedroom door. He knew Dan didn’t like being interrupted when he was planning out a video. “You’ve been working on that video for hours now and Loki really needs a walk. Don’t you think it’s time to take a break?” The tiny Shibe scampered around the corner from its resting place next door in Phil’s room and started barking excitedly.
“I’m working on this one idea that I think is really good, but I don’t know how to say it. I’m really close to getting something, though. Do you think you could do it this one time?” came Dan’s muffled voice from inside the room.
What was up with Dan? Phil knew he often got wrapped up in things, but this was the second time in a row now. Was he afraid to walk their dog or something? Phil didn’t want to ask for fear of starting a useless fight, so he just said, “Alright. But next time, please, babe?”
“Yeah, definitely next time,” Dan replied, voice already fading. Phil leaned down to run his hands along the dog’s feather soft, teddy bear-like body. “Well, I guess it’s you and me again, boy.” And he set out to find the leash, feeling slightly annoyed but still pushing it aside for the good of the relationship.
--
Phil was done. So done. It had been two weeks now and Dan had still never stepped foot out of the house with their new dog. He had wanted Loki so badly, but now he wasn’t even willing to put in the effort to take care of him. Sure, he had fed him and played with him and given him lots of love, but both of them needed fresh air and exercise. Phil had given him the benefit of the doubt every other time, but enough was enough. Plus, Dan was the one who had grown up with a dog, not Phil—he knew what went into caring for it, so he really had no excuse!
Phil steeled himself for a confrontation with his boyfriend. He knew Dan hated getting called out for being lazy, but this had to be done. “Hey, Dan,” he said, coming up next to the boy curled up in his browsing position on the sofa. “I think we need to talk about something.” He was careful to keep the anger out of his voice, as he didn’t want Dan to feel bad.
Immediately, Dan could tell that something was wrong. Phil almost never showed his anger, but Dan had learned to tell the signs—he sat farther away on the sofa, had trouble focusing on Dan, and stopped calling him pet names. “Y—yeah?” he asked, closing his laptop and pushing it onto the arm of the sofa. “What’s wrong?”
“Well,” Phil began. Just spill it! his inner voice screamed. He deserves to know how you’ve been feeling! “I know Loki belongs to both of us, and you’ve been doing a really good job of feeding him and playing with him and cleaning up after accidents and everything, but it seems like you don’t want to walk him. Every time I ask you, you always seem to be in the middle of something—which I totally understand, and I know it’s hard for you to put things down—but you need to have some part in this, too! It can’t be just me.” Phil felt a lot better for getting this off his chest, but he still could barely look at Dan for fear of his reaction. He focused on stroking the adorable latte-colored dog sleeping between them instead.
“Hey, come on, it hasn’t been that long! And you know I’ve been super busy! I’ll get to it, I swear, just…later, okay?” Dan’s stomach twisted, but he stood his ground.
“It’s been two weeks.” Phil was having a much harder time keeping the edge out of his voice now. “When is ‘later’? Next year? Come on, Dan, you can’t run away from this forever. Is there something wrong?”
Dan crossed his arms defensively. “It’s nothing, I swear I’ll get to it. Do you really have to get on my case about this?”
Phil leaned forward slightly, careful not to upset Loki. “Yes, Dan, I do. Can you please tell me what’s wrong? I want to help, really!”
“It’s nothing,” Dan repeated in a tone that told Phil to back off immediately. “I’m not some damsel that needs saving, Phil. I can solve my own problems.” He crossed his arms defensively.
This cut Phil like a knife, but he refused to let it show. “Fine,” he spat, pushing up angrily off the couch. “Just don’t expect me to come running to you next time.” He stalked off, leaving Dan with a tear in his heart the size of Buckingham Palace.
“Wait, Phil,” Dan knew what he had to do, even if it meant sacrificing a bit of his pride. Phil turned around, eyes now appearing a steely grey in the light. “It’s stupid, but I just…I guess I’m kind of afraid to walk him around Brighton. I barely know the area, and what if I get lost? And I know you’ve been fine with him, it’s just…I don’t know if I can handle looking out for someone else as well as me. I mean, looking out for you is hard enough sometimes.” Dan forced a stiff laugh. He had to admit, it did feel sort of nice to get it off his chest. “Plus, I know we’ve already told all our subscribers about Loki, but what if a bunch of people figure out where we walk him and constantly ask for pictures? And then there’s the whole danisnotonfire ‘Oh, I never go outside’ thing.” He waved his hands to show how he was slightly annoyed with his branding. “Aren’t people going to find it weird that I’m suddenly outside all the time?”
“Awww, Dan, hon, it’s not stupid!” Phil’s heart melted as he cautiously sat back down on the couch. Dan really cared about Loki so much, it was adorable. “If it helps at all, I’ve only been taking him around the closest few blocks, and it’s actually helped me learn the neighbourhood. And the great thing is, we’re so far away from downtown that I haven’t bumped into any subscribers. But hey, if you’re really worried?” Phil locked eyes with Dan, doing his best to send calming vibes Dan’s way. “I can come with you those first few times. I think Loki would really like that.”
Dan could feel himself deflating. Phil had that effect on him. “Thank you so much Phil, really. But on the off chance that we do see a subscriber, won’t people start jumping to conclusions? I mean, seeing us together, walking a dog? That sounds kinda couple-y, don’t you think?”
“Let them think what they want. They know the dog belongs to both of us,” Phil shrugged, spreading his arms wide. “Plus, it isn’t that weird for normal best friends to walk a dog together. If it really means that much to you, I’ll come with you.” Phil’s voice was nothing but sincere. "Please, Dan? It’ll be a really good way for you guys to bond, trust me.”
Dan sighed, feeling much of the anxiety he had bottled up these last couple weeks slowly melt away. “Phil…you’re the best.” He couldn’t stop the appreciative smile from taking over his face like a sunrise. “You’re absolutely sure it’ll be fine?”
“Positive,” Phil assured his boyfriend with the utmost confidence. “I’ll even show you right now, come on.” He got up, waking the small dog, who jumped off the couch and trotted over to Phil’s tall figure already halfway to the front hallway. Phil widened his eyes in a pleading expression, sticking his bottom lip out and waving his hands near his mouth in a terrible imitation of the puppy next to him, whose big black eyes were also staring at Dan expectantly.
“Oh alright, I really can’t say no, especially when you two look as cute as that,” Dan sighed and reluctantly heaved himself off the buttery soft sofa. “Do I need a leash for you, too?”
Phil giggled, eyes crinkling and tongue poking out in a true Phil smile. He rolled his eyes and shook his head at Dan, stealing a kiss when he came close. “I love you, Dan.” Phil reached down and picked up the salted caramel-colored fluff ball, waving his paws at Dan. “And so does this little guy.” Loki squirmed violently and shot out of Phil’s arms.
Both boys had to giggle at that. “I love you both too. Thank you, Phil.” He turned around and bent down, hands on his knees, and cooed in a voice only meant for dogs and babies (and occasionally teasing Phil), “Come on, Loki. Do you want to go for a walk?” Loki danced excitedly around Dan, and Phil could swear he had never seen his boyfriend smile brighter. Dan got up again and turned back to Phil. “Now come on, let’s be the disgusting domestic shits that everyone knows we are. As long as we don’t get horribly lost first anyway.”
Phil laughed again. “I’d be honored to be the most disgusting domestic shit alive if it meant I could do it with you.” He knew it was cheesy, but he meant it with all his heart.
Dan smiled back affectionately and hip-bumped Phil before grabbing the leash from the decorative peg next to him and attaching it to their very excited dog’s collar. He really was so incredibly grateful for Phil. With the sapphire-eyed beauty by his side, he felt like he could do anything—even if it was just learning his way around his new neighborhood with a tiny Shibe. Dan knew their relationship was rare, which only made him all the more appreciative of it. He only hoped that it would stay like this forever.