Work Text:
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
Please select the baked good(s) you wish to order.
▶ Quantity: [1]
☐ Blondies
☐ Brownies
☐ Cookie Cake
☐ Cookies
☐ Cupcakes
☐ Muffins
☐ Sheet Cake
☒ Tiered Cake
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☐ Black Velvet
☐ Carrot
☐ Chocolate
☐ Lemon
☐ Red Velvet
☐ White
☐ White Velvet
☐ Yellow
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [purple velvet]
Frosting Type:
☐ American Buttercream
☐ Cream Cheese Frosting
☐ Ermine Frosting
☐ Fondant
☐ French Buttercream
☐ Fudge
☐ Ganache
☐ German Buttercream
☐ Swiss Meringue Buttercream
☐ Whipped Cream
☐ Whipped Ganache
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [whipped fondant]
Frosting Flavor:
☐ Black Cocoa
☐ Caramel
☐ Chocolate
☐ Coffee
☐ Lemon
☐ Peanut Butter
☐ Pistachio
☐ Raspberry
☐ Strawberry
☐ Vanilla
☐ White Chocolate
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [red wine]
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
If you wish to include a filling in addition to the frosting you selected, please choose from the following:
☐ Caramel
☐ Compote
☐ Curd
☐ Custard
☐ Ganache
☐ Mousse
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [jello]
Filling Flavor:
☐ Black Cocoa
☐ Caramel
☐ Chocolate
☐ Coffee
☐ Lemon
☐ Orange
☐ Peanut Butter
☐ Pistachio
☐ Raspberry
☐ Strawberry
☐ Vanilla
☐ White Chocolate
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [margarita]
Writing on Cake:
If you wish to include writing on the cake, please choose from the following:
☐ Congratulations. / Congratulations, [name].
☐ Get well soon. / Get well soon, [name].
☐ Happy anniversary. / Happy anniversary, [name].
☐ Happy birthday. / Happy birthday, [name].
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [sorry for lightly singeing ur couch. i just wanted to see if it was flammable, for science. i honestly think it looks better like that but here’s a cake since u apparently don’t agree]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☐ 4-inch
☐ 6-inch
☐ 8-inch
☐ 9-inch
☐ 10-inch
☐ 11-inch
☐ 12-inch
☐ 14-inch
☐ 16-inch
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [2”]
Cake Layers:
☐ 2 layers
☐ 3 layers
☐ 4 layers
☐ 5 layers
☐ 6 layers
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [24 layers]
Cake Shape:
☐ Rectangle
☐ Round
☐ Square
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [rhombicosidodecahedron]
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☐ None
☒ Eggless
☒ Gluten-free
☒ Lactose-free
☒ Nut-free
☒ Sugar-free
☒ Vegan
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [no baking powder or baking soda]
Other Notes or Concerns:
[can u put a wafer paper shell around the cake that burns away to reveal the writing? i think that would be sick]
Once the baker has accepted your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee or approve any changes required by the baker in order to proceed.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Could Not Be Fulfilled
Hello,
The bakery is unable to complete your cake request from Order #103123 based on the information you provided. Apologies for the inconvenience.
Best wishes,
Gusu Lan Bakery
This email has been sent from an automated system. Do not reply to it.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
Please select the baked good(s) you wish to order.
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [purple velvet]
Frosting Type:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [whipped fondant]
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [red wine]
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
If you wish to include a filling in addition to the frosting you selected, please choose from the following:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [jello]
Filling Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [margarita]
Writing on Cake:
If you wish to include writing on the cake, please choose from the following:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [sorry for using ur expensive shampoo to make slime that was my b. consider this cake ur compensation]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [2”]
Cake Layers:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [24 layers]
Cake Shape:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [rhombicosidodecahedron]
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☐ None
☐ Vegan
☐ Eggless
☐ Gluten-free
☐ Nut-free
☐ Sugar-free
☐ Lactose-free
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [okay fine u can use baking powder or baking soda and the other stuff]
Other Notes or Concerns:
[why did you reject a perfectly good order??? that is absolutely cruel and unusual. why would u do this to me, gusu lan bakery]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Could Not Be Fulfilled
Hello,
The bakery is unable to complete your cake request from Order #103129 based on the information you provided. Apologies for the inconvenience.
Best wishes,
Gusu Lan Bakery
This email has been sent from an automated system. Do not reply to it.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [purple velvet]
Frosting Type:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [whipped fondant]
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [red wine]
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [jello]
Filling Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [margarita]
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [happy birthday! congrats on coming one year closer to your expiration date. huzzah!!]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [2”]
Cake Layers:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [24 layers]
Cake Shape:
☒ Round
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[ur automatic rejection email is quite cold and harsh! have u considered providing personalized reasoning as to why u declined the order, gusu lan bakery????]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Will Not Be Fulfilled
Hello,
The bakery is unable to complete your cake request from Order #103132 based on the information you provided. Apologies for the inconvenience. It was rejected because it is unfeasible.
Best wishes,
Gusu Lan Bakery
This email has been sent from an automated system. Do not reply to it.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [purple velvet]
Frosting Type:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [whipped fondant]
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [red wine]
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [jello]
Filling Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [margarita]
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [congrats on becoming an adult! unfortunately u are still a little punk with a bad attitude but u can probably grow out of that one day]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ 8-inch
Cake Layers:
☒ 2 layers
Cake Shape:
☒ Round
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[what is unfeasible about this? look at all these generous concessions i’ve made! and still u won’t make me this cake???]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee. Please note that orders may be rejected at the baker’s discretion.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Will Not Be Fulfilled
Hello,
The bakery will not complete your cake request from Order #103136 based on the information you provided. Apologies for the inconvenience. It was rejected because it is unfeasible and does not align with the baker’s professional standards.
Wishes,
Gusu Lan Bakery
This email has been sent from an automated system. Do not reply to it.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [purple velvet]
Frosting Type:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [whipped fondant]
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [red wine]
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [jello]
Filling Flavor:
☒ Coffee
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [sorry for calling your rat dog ugly. it is ugly but i’ll try to keep those thoughts to myself next time since ur so sensitive apparently]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ 8-inch
Cake Layers:
☒ 2 layers
Cake Shape:
☒ Round
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[damn what do u have against a margarita filling? surely day 1 of pastry school teaches u that the customer is always right! but even tho my feelings are deeply hurt i will persist]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee. Note that orders may be rejected at the baker’s discretion.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Will Not Be Fulfilled
Hello,
The bakery will not complete your cake request from Order #103139 based on the information you provided. It was rejected because it is unfeasible and does not align with the baker’s professional standards. Please contact another bakery with this request.
Gusu Lan Bakery
This email has been sent from an automated system. Do not reply to it.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [purple velvet]
Frosting Type:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [whipped fondant]
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [red wine]
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
☒ Ganache
Filling Flavor:
☒ Coffee
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [you tried! and failed! better luck next time, when you will probably also fail. jiayou!]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ 8-inch
Cake Layers:
☒ 2 layers
Cake Shape:
☒ Round
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[i’m beginning to get the impression that the baker is prejudiced against me? why don’t you want to sell me a cake, gusu lan bakery?]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee. Note that orders may be rejected at the baker’s discretion if they are not reasonable.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello,
The bakery will not complete your cake request from Order #103141 based on the information you provided. This order was rejected because it is unfeasible and does not align with the baker’s professional standards. It is not prejudiced to reject a nonsensical order that makes a mockery of this business. Please contact another bakery with this request instead of continuing to submit order forms.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Do not reply to this email.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [purple velvet]
Frosting Type:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [whipped fondant]
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Black cocoa
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
☒ Ganache
Filling Flavor:
☒ Coffee
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [congrats on growing a mustache! please shave it immediately for the good of society at large, as the negative visual impact may wreak disastrous consequences upon humankind]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ 8-inch
Cake Layers:
☒ 2 layers
Cake Shape:
☒ Round
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[can i get a discount since u have rejected so many of my orders? don’t u have any heart, gusu lan bakery? furthermore is your owner single?]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee. Note that orders may be rejected at the baker’s discretion if they are not reasonable.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello,
The bakery will not complete your cake request from Order #103147 based on the information you provided. This order was rejected because it is unfeasible and does not align with the baker’s professional standards. Your orders will continue to be rejected until you submit one with legitimate specifications that can actually be achieved. Please contact another bakery with this request instead of continuing to submit order forms, and refrain from asking invasive personal questions about the owner.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Do not reply to this email.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [purple velvet]
Frosting Type:
☒ American Buttercream
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Black cocoa
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
☒ Ganache
Filling Flavor:
☒ Coffee
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [no writing needed! just print this photo of my face: handsome.jpg]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ 8-inch
Cake Layers:
☒ 2 layers
Cake Shape:
☒ Round
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[characterlimit?ihavecrucialthingstosay!imsinglebtw]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee. Note that orders may be rejected at the baker’s discretion if they are not reasonable.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello,
The bakery will not complete your cake request from Order #103150 based on the information you provided. This order was rejected because it is unfeasible, as we are not able to print images on cakes, and purple velvet is not a real flavor. Please familiarize yourself with legitimate cake flavors and refrain from asking invasive personal questions about the owner or sharing unnecessary personal information about yourself. If you cannot follow these instructions, we strongly suggest you take your business elsewhere.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Do not reply to this email.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Lemon
Frosting Type:
☒ American Buttercream
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Black cocoa
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
☒ Ganache
Filling Flavor:
☒ Coffee
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify an appropriate, reasonable message.)
▶ [gusu lan bakery owner, did it hurt when you fell from that vending machine shelf? because i’ve seen your photos on the website and you’re looking like a snack]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ 8-inch
Cake Layers:
☒ 2 layers
Cake Shape:
☒ Round
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[nowwillumakemeacake?ididbasicallyeverythinguasked!]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee. Note that orders may be rejected at the baker’s discretion if they are not reasonable.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello,
The bakery will not complete your cake request from Order #103155 based on the information you provided. The flavor combination requested does not align with the baker’s professional standards. Please familiarize yourself with appropriate flavor combinations and refrain from asking invasive personal questions about the owner or trying to write insults on a cake.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Do not reply to this email.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Chocolate
Frosting Type:
☒ American Buttercream
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Black cocoa
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
☒ Ganache
Filling Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [chili]
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify an appropriate, reasonable message.)
▶ [gusu lan bakery owner, are you homemade bread? because i knead u in my life]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ 8-inch
Cake Layers:
☒ 2 layers
Cake Shape:
☒ Round
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[whydoyoudiscriminateagainstflavorcombo!plsmakecake]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee. Note that orders may be rejected at the baker’s discretion if they are not reasonable.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello,
The bakery will not complete your cake request from Order #103159 based on the information you provided. The requested filling flavor is inappropriate and does not align with the baker’s professional standards. Please familiarize yourself with appropriate ganache flavors and refrain from misusing baking terminology for your unsavory purposes.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Do not reply to this email.
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Chocolate
Frosting Type:
☒ American Buttercream
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Black cocoa
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
☒ Ganache
Filling Flavor:
☒ Coffee
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [gusu lan bakery owner, are u made of sugar? bc i find u irresistible]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ 8-inch
Cake Layers:
☒ 2 layers
Cake Shape:
☒ Round
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[ofcoursemypurposesareunsavory!iwantsomethingsweet!]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee. Note that orders may be rejected at the baker’s discretion if they are not reasonable.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Customer,
The bakery will not complete your cake request from Order #103164 based on the information you provided. The requested message is inappropriate and does not align with the baker’s professional standards. If you wish to select a different message, you may reply to this email with that information only, and we will take it under consideration.
Sincerely,
Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
what a privilege and an honor it is to be explicitly allowed to reply to THE gusu lan bakery owner. i was beginning to think i would spend the rest of my life on the sisyphean journey of submitting a cake order form
since u have proven unreceptive to my cake writing requests in the past, i have taken the liberty of providing u with SEVERAL options, at least one of which i’m sure will whisk u off ur feet
without further ado, here is what i want written on my cake:
- gusu lan bakery owner, are u fresh out of the oven? bc u are too hot to handle
- gusu lan bakery owner, are u cake? bc i want a piece of thatttt
- gusu lan bakery owner, are u an oven? bc ur so hot i could bake cookies on u
- gusu lan bakery owner, are u made of pastry? bc ur a cutie pie
- gusu lan bakery owner, are u chili-flavored ganache? bc u spice up my life
- gusu lan bakery owner, are u a cupcake? bc i want to unwrap u
sincerest-ly,
gusu lan bakery’s #1 customer
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Customer,
These requests are not acceptable for a cake. I will make you a cake with no writing on it if you agree to stop submitting absurd requests.
Sincerely,
Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner,
if they’re not suitable for a cake, what are they suitable for? should i come say them to u in person? perhaps at a restaurant or minigolf course. i hear those venues have the perfect atmosphere for such a momentous occasion
better yet, i’ll come to ur bakery and write my own message on the cake so that u also get to enjoy it!
accommodating-est-ly,
gusu lan bakery’s #1 customer
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Customer,
You may come to the bakery only to pick up your cake.
Sincerely,
Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner,
right right right. i will come to the bakery to have my cake and eat it too! and then i’ll use ur kitchen to bake my own cake and write a message for u on it
benevolent-est-ly,
gusu lan bakery’s #1 customer
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Customer,
At no point did I agree to let you use my kitchen. Furthermore, please stop making up adverbs.
Your cake will be ready for pickup at 1 p.m. on Thursday. If you are more than five minutes late, you will forfeit your right to pick it up.
Sincerely,
Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner,
no problem. i’ll arrive at 5am on thursday
punctual-est-ly,
gusu lan bakery’s #1 customer
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Customer,
The bakery does not open until 6 a.m., and your cake will not be ready until 1 p.m.
Sincerely,
Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner,
right but we’ll need at least an hour before opening so i can make u a cake
organized-est-ly,
gusu lan bakery’s #1 customer
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Customer,
You will not be making any cakes in my kitchen.
Sincerely,
Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner,
so i can come at 5am if i agree not to make any cakes in ur kitchen?
inquisitive-est-ly,
gusu lan bakery’s #1 customer
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Customer,
No. Do not come at 5 a.m. Your order will be ready at 1 p.m.
Sincerely,
Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner,
ok i’ll be there at 6am
readiest-ly,
gusu lan bakery’s #1 customer
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Customer,
I cannot prevent you from coming during business hours, but your order will not be ready at 6 a.m.
Sincerely,
Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner,
thank u for the invitation!
grateful-est-ly,
gusu lan bakery’s #1 customer
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Customer,
Which of your eyes saw an invitation in my email?
Sincerely,
Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner,
both of them. i have 20/20 vision. that’s another thing that makes me boyfriend material actually
seeing-est-ly,
gusu lan bakery’s #1 customer
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Customer,
How would your vision at all impact your suitability as a romantic partner?
Sincerely,
Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner,
aha! so u agree i’m suitable as a romantic partner!
suitable-est-ly,
gusu lan bakery’s #1 customer
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Wei Wuxian,
I did not say that. If anything, your deliberate lack of reading comprehension and inability to use adverbs properly both make you unsuitable.
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
gusu lan bakery owner lan wangji,
actually i very seriously know lots of adverbs extremely intimately and use them exactly correctly daily
adverb-est-ly,
wei wuxian
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Wei Wuxian,
Our correspondence has reached its natural conclusion. Do not reply to this email.
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
why? what’s gonna happen if i do? will my phone explode?
curious-est-ly,
wei wuxian
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ White velvet
Frosting Type:
☒ Swiss Meringue Buttercream
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Vanilla
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
None selected
Filling Flavor:
None selected
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [Congratulations on getting married, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji! May you live in harmony for 100 years.]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ 14-inch
Cake Layers:
☒ 3 layers
Cake Shape:
☒ Round
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[ispecificallyaskedthestaffaboutyourcakepreferences]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee. Note that orders may be rejected at the baker’s discretion if they are not reasonable.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Wei Wuxian,
I have rejected your cake request from Order #103171 due to the serious factual inaccuracies. You and I are not getting married.
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner lan wangji,
? not sure where the confusion lies, but the cake is not for u. it’s for this other lan wangji i’m marrying
truthful-est-ly,
wei wuxian
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Wei Wuxian,
What other Lan Wangji?
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner lan wangji,
u don’t know him, but coincidentally he also runs a bakery and is very serious about adverbs. isn’t life funny that way?
betrothed-est-ly,
wei wuxian
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Wei Wuxian,
I do not believe you.
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner lan wangji,
i know this must be hard to accept but if u want to come object at our wedding u at least need to bring the cake. my fiance can’t make his own wedding cake!
thoughtful-est-ly,
wei wuxian
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Wei Wuxian,
I am not making this cake because there is no wedding.
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner lan wangji,
i had no idea u felt so strongly about me. should we discuss it over dinner? if u make a strong case, i may really be willing to call off my wedding!
openminded-est-ly,
wei wuxian
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Wei Wuxian,
There is no need to get dinner to discuss a wedding that is not even happening.
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner lan wangji,
ok so u want to meet in the bakery instead? i’ll be there tomorrow at 5am
flexible-est-ly,
wei wuxian
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Wei Wuxian,
No. As I am certain you are aware, the bakery opens at 6 a.m.
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner lan wangji,
i have to say i’m shocked to hear how eager u are to discuss such intimate topics in front of ur other customers! but sure if that’s what u want! i’ll be there at 6am
agreeable-est-ly,
wei wuxian
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Wei Wuxian,
There are no intimate matters to discuss. You do not need to come.
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner lan wangji,
gosh the other lan wangji—my betrothed—doesn’t give nearly as many mixed signals as you. when will u have our wedding cake ready by, then?
patient-est-ly,
wei wuxian
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Wei Wuxian,
There will be no wedding cake.
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner lan wangji,
u seem upset about this. let’s discuss it at 5am tomorrow
understanding-est-ly,
wei wuxian
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
Hello Wei Wuxian,
The bakery opens at 6 a.m.
Sincerely,
Lan Wangji
Owner, Gusu Lan Bakery
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your Order Has Been Rejected
hello gusu lan bakery owner lan wangji,
yeah, good thing we’ll have a whole hour to ourselves before the spectators arrive!
relieved-est-ly,
wei wuxian
Gusu Lan Bakery
Online Custom Order Form
Customer Details
Name: [Wei Wuxian]
Email: [[email protected]]
Phone Number: [number]
Pickup Details
Pickup Date: [date]
Pickup Time: [time]
Type of Order
☒ Tiered Cake
▶ Quantity: [1]
Next Page »
Cake Details
Cake Flavor:
☒ Red Velvet
Frosting Type:
☒ Cream Cheese Frosting
Frosting Flavor:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [pink]
Next Page »
Extra Details
Filling Type:
☒ Mousse
Filling Flavor:
☒ Strawberry
Writing on Cake:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [congrats on being such a good kisser, lan zhan!]
Next Page »
Cake Logistics
Cake Width:
☒ Other (Please specify)
▶ [20-inch]
Cake Layers:
☒ 5 layers
Cake Shape:
☒ Other (Please specify.)
▶ [heart]
Next Page »
Other Logistics
Allergies or Food Restrictions:
☒ None
Other Notes or Concerns:
[phew thankfully you removed the character limit. that was really difficult for me! i’m sure u will appreciate all my very romantic choices for this cake <3]
If the baker accepts your order, you will be contacted to pay a deposit fee. Note that orders may be rejected at the baker’s discretion if they are not reasonable.
Lan Wangji > Wei Wuxian
Lan Wangji: Wei Ying.
Wei Wuxian: yes, darling?
Lan Wangji: You must know I cannot fill this order.
Wei Wuxian: why not? it’s very legitimate
Lan Wangji: That message is highly inappropriate for my workplace.
Wei Wuxian: ohhhhhh
Wei Wuxian: so writing that on a cake in ur workplace is more inappropriate than what we actually did in ur workplace?
Lan Wangji: ...
Wei Wuxian: i’ll keep that in mind, lan zhan ♥️
Lan Wangji: From now on, you can request cakes from me personally. Do not use my bakery’s order form.
Wei Wuxian: so will u now make me a 2-inch, 24-layer, rhombicosidodecahedron-shaped purple velvet cake with red wine-flavored whipped fondant and margarita-flavored jello?
Lan Wangji: No. Stop asking for that.
Wei Wuxian: i am sighing longing-est-ly
Lan Wangji: Perhaps I could make a cake with several modifications.
Wei Wuxian: i am sighing joyful-est-ly
Lan Wangji: This is not going to work if you do not stop using fake adverbs.
Wei Wuxian: make me
Lan Wangji: OK.