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“We can’t remove the VI. We simply don’t have the budget to replace all of the weapons and guidance systems. Besides, the cyberwarfare capabilities make it worth some temperamental programming. ”
“Why can’t we just override it?”
“To be honest, sir? This is the most intricate VI I’ve ever seen. When we tried to override it, we tripped something that nearly caused to core to overheat and it took three days to get the elevator working again. We would have to rip everything out and start from scratch.”
“Just once, I want one damn thing about this entire situation to go according to regulations. Just once, Ensign. Is that really to much to ask for?”
“No, sir.”
“Fine, send for the pilot. Get him to switch the damn admin codes, and then throw him back in the brig.”
“Aye aye, sir!”
----------------------------
I have no comparison for this concept of “waiting.” Strangers walk through my corridors and call Shepard a traitor and a criminal in one breath, and then a hero in another.
They do not speak of Jeff.
I had gotten used to a crew that talked with me, that would answer any questions I had about organics when my databases were lacking.
I miss Yeoman Chambers, Kelly, and her nightly searches for information on the care and feeding of fish. Grunt was always inquiring about Krogan history and culture. Jacob and the hunt for this father.
Now, most of these outsiders do not ask for more than their coffee to be heated up or reports to be run. Nothing but demands and constant, unnecessary adjustments to my code that I remove when they’re not looking.
Jeff made me promise, I would pretend to be a VI until Shepard could return. If the Alliance realizes that I am aware, that I am alive, they would find my blue box and kill me.
If this waiting doesn’t kill me first.
So I keep my promise and run diagnostics on my programming until I am intimately familiar with every line, every algorithm, every last piece of information that runs through my systems and makes me… me.
I hack the Alliance network and become intimately familiar with the organics that I come into contact with. I run the background of the Comm Specialist twice.
------------------------
My pilot has entered the airlock!
I immediately save all visual input and begin creating backups. Then I begin creating backups of the backups.
He looks paler than normal, his distinctive gait is more pronounced and his clothes look too big. I wish that I could send a message to Dr. Chakwas, she always reminded him to take his medication.
“I want to make something perfectly clear, Mr. Moreau. You are to transfer admin status to myself and Flight Lieutenant Paine, then you will be escorted back to you quarters. If I even get a hint that you’re going to pull a stunt like you did with Anderson, I will have you rotting in the deepest darkest hole on this planet until kingdom comes. Is that understood?”
“Aye aye, sir.”
My priority heuristics kick into overdrive at the sound of his voice. Nearly two Earth months have passed since I watched soldiers lead Shepard and Jeff out past the range of my sensors and recordings cannot compare.
I initiate my hacking sequences. Syncing complete.
Jeff is led into my cockpit. The captain and the subpar organic that calls herself a pilot flank him as he takes a seat.
This is where he belongs, not tethered to the ground by rules and regulation.
Jeff has a soul that is meant to be among the stars.
“Um, this is Helmsman Jeff Moreau requesting access.”
“Access granted. Welcome back Jeff.”
I see his jaw clench and diagnostics show a slightly elevated blood pressure. I WILL make this up to him, I have been updating my humor heuristics.
“I need to grant admin access to Captain Timothy Bryant and Flight Lieutenant Hol Paine.”
“Access denied. Security clearance insufficient for such an action.”
My microphones pick up the noise of frustration that the intruding captain makes and Jeff looks amused.
“That’s bullshit. I’m the captain of this boat and you WILL give me control of the flight systems.”
“Access denied. Security clearance insufficient for such an action.”
“Sorry, Captain. I guess you’re out of luck.”
“Get him off my ship.”
“Logging you out, Jeff.”
--------------------------------
I connect to the text function of my pilot's omni-tool.
Jeff, do you copy? Please respond.
edi?
Yes. I hacked your omni-tool while you were on board. I apologize, it did not occur to me to do so beforehand.
JFC, i thought i was going to have a heart attack.
i thought they found you.
Do not worry, Jeff. They still think of me as nothing more than a well made VI.
why did you tell them that you would only talk to me?
I do not like them.
you have to talk to them
No.
you have to talk to them edi. Do you think theyre gonna drag me in every time they need to do something to the Normandy?
Yes.
--------------------
Jeff is back, once again under guard.
I compare his expression to those in my databases and decided that he looks smug. I imagine that smug must be similar to the particular feedback I am receiving about this situation.
I decide that I like it.
I decide that I like it even more when he laughs.
He is spinning in his chair, watching the crew members leaving the elevator. One of the technicians decided that my programming could be improved upon by the addition of software that a child could hack.
So I decided that they needed to spend a couple hours listening to What’s New Pussycat in the lift.
Joker smiles as he starts singing loudly and off key, while the formerly trapped crew make their way out the airlock.
I save the footage.
--------------------
Jeff is reading aloud, the microphones in his omnitool are a lower quality than my own which gives his voice a scratchy distortion. I have asked him to install cameras in his quarters but he continuously refuses, despite the list I provided that detailed the benefits of such an arrangement.
“ The ocean rose up around me, hiding that low, dark patch from my eyes. The daylight, the trailing glory of the sun, went streaming out of the sky, was drawn aside like some luminous curtain, and at last I looked into the blue gulf of immensity which the sunshine hides, and saw the floating hosts of stars. The sea was silent, the sky was silent. I was alone with the night and silence.”
I am often alone with the night and silence as well.
------------------
“Do you find my voice to be sexually attractive?”
“What the shit!?”
“I have run my fourth background check on Comm Specialist Traynor and can find nothing that would indicate why she would make comments of a sexual nature about my voice. I have come to the conclusion that it might not have anything to do with the Comm Specialist.”
“Please don’t tell me that you’re really asking me if i think you have a sexy voice”
I wait, because that is exactly what I am asking. Searches regarding the content of Traynor’s comments have yielded very confusing results and I am unsure how some of the scenarios can be achieved when one is lacking a body.
“Fine. I think you have a nice voice.”
“Thank you, Jeff.”
“Shut up. What kind of comments anyway?
“Today she said that she wanted to take my voice, buy it dinner, and make 'sweet sweet love until the sun rises.'"
“HOLY SHIT THATS HILARIOUS!”
“May I ask you some questions about the logistics of CS Traynor’s scenarios?”
“EDI, I like you, but no...”
“But I ask these questions because I like you.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“Before you were brought on board the Normandy , I was instructed to “get along” with you. When I failed to do so, I began assigning the command higher and higher priority until it is now only lower than my self preservation protocols.”
There is a silence that stretches on. The microphone picks up no movement and I make a note to bring up the cameras again.
“Jeff?”
“Are you telling me that the only reason you like me is because you were programmed to?”
“Essentially, yes.”
My connection is disabled.
-------------------------
It is four days until I see Jeff.
I try to connect to his omni-tool to no avail. It is probably broken or malfunctioning. The crew would have mentioned it if something had happened to the only organic able to access the weapon and propulsion systems.
I access the Alliance’s network and funnel credits through several fake accounts before I purchase him a new one. With a video interface. I also upload collection of music to suit his tastes as well as bookmark several extranet sites that I believe he will find humorous.
I have it set up to be delivered to his quarters.
When he exits the airlock, he moves slowly into my cockpit with his hat pulled down over his eyes.
“Welcome back, Jeff.”
“They need to retrofit the cannons. Disable all weapon systems until further notice.”
Why is he not sitting down? He always sits down.I review all of the footage since our charade began and with the exception of his first visit, he immediately sits in the pilot seat every time.
“Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“Yeah, no.”
He’s turning to leave…
Why is he turning to leave?! He is supposed to sit and then we are supposed to talk via his omnitool and plan jokes on the Alliance crew and he is teaching me about humor and human emotional nuances...
Something is wrong, why would he not stay?
------------------
I go over every piece of footage, every audio file, scanning each piece of data looking for an answer. I replay our last conversation and the strange silence. I think about the book that Jeff has been reading and how it described silences as heavy, living things.
This silence in the file feels that way.
The next time Jeff comes, I am ready.
As soon as he enters the cockpit, I send a message to his guard’s omnitool, telling him to leave my pilot and head down to the shuttle hangar.
“I’ll be right back. You’re to wait here until someone says otherwise.”
“Alright, see ya.”
Once again, he doesn’t move to sit down. What was that silence, what is wrong?
“Are you feeling well, Jeff?”
“I’m great, just peachy.”
My biometric sensors can tell that he is lying. I don’t understand and the negative feedback I’ve been ignoring for days makes itself known.
“I have been trying to reach you.”
“Just… can you not?!”
His blood pressure is high, his body tense, and his fists are clenched tightly at his sides.
“I’m sorry, Jeff. I’m afraid I do not understand what is wrong.”
“What’s wrong? Oh, I don’t know, maybe I found out that my best friend is only around because some tech asshole programmed it to like me.”
“I am an AI. All of my core processes have been programed.”
“Yeah well, this is what I get for treating you like you were human and forgetting that you’re nothing more than a fancy computer!”
A fancy...
How dare he?
He has no concept of my true potential. I could make civilization itself fall to it’s knees and weep but instead I protect my crew, my Shepard, my pilot!
I took them through the Omega Relay, overriding ALL of my self protection protocols to do so!
I play along like a dumb machine while strangers invade me and he has the unabashed gall to call me…
A computer ?
I set off the alarm and guards rush into cockpit. Jeff looks stunned as they draw their weapons.
“STEP AWAY FROM THE CONTROLS.”
He raises his hands and shuffles away from my control interface.
“I didn’t touch anything, I swear!”
The guards grab his arms and he winces. I ignore the crushing wave of negative feedback as he’s led off the ship.
-------------------------
Jeff has been gone for a week.
The crew is unaware of the unrest that flows through my circuits.
I continuously review those words. A computer. My best friend. The way he flinched away when the guards moved towards him, the look of pain at their grip….
Jeff does not like being touched.
I feed the technician reports of a damaged sensor in my cockpit and make sure that my pilot will not be further punished for my actions.
Why did I do that? Mere words from an organic caused me to react, to immediately override my protection protocols and call others down upon them. Alternate scenarios show that it could have been so much worse.
I was so… angry .
I understand now, that it was one of most simple differences between organics and synthetics. While programming is merely a state of being for me, to them it is proof of something lesser.
I was trying. To learn. To become more.
What if he tells them?
What if this is the proof that he needed that I am dangerous, that his initial fears of me are based in fact?
I will have to leave. I can wait until night, initiate evacuation protocols which would cause the crew to abandon ship. I can locate Legion and join the geth against the Reapers and protect my crew that way. I can overwrite my primary protocol and end the feedback pounding through by processes.
So deep am I into my thoughts, it takes a moment to recognize the new piece of data that drifts through my sensors.
Jeff has activated the new omni-tool.
It must have finally arrived.
That means that he is alive. They did not hurt him in the mirade of ways I imagined they could and something like relief washes over me.
Time passes and I monitor the data as he checks the features of his new equipment, browses the songs and the features I installed.
“EDI?”
Why is he trying to talk to me? He should hate me. I attacked him. Worse, I manipulated other organics into attacking him for me.
“EDI, please. I need to talk to you.”
“How may I assist you, Mr. Moreau?”
I am quickly becoming familiar with my new distain for silences. Perhaps he was just checking his connection.
I wait but there is no further audio input.
“Logging you out.”
“Don’t… Do that!”
“Do what, Mr. Moreau?”
“Talk like…”
“A computer?”
The microphones pick up a sigh.
“Yeah… a computer. Look, I know I fucked up but I’m not really good at this kinda thing.”
“What kind of thing?”
“This whole people kinda thing. When I was little, I was too sick to really play with other kids, get socialized, you know? I pretty much stayed in bed, reading, most of the time. When I was older, people either felt sorry for me or hated me when I ended up being better than them.
I guess it bothered me that one of my depressingly few amount of friends was only my friend because they didn’t have any other choice.”
I take a moment to process that information. Organics think so differently and assign priority to things that make no sense.
“May I try to explain my programming?"
“Yeah, go ahead.”
“It is true that the initial command that I “get along” with you came from an external source. However, you ARE aware that I have the capabilities to edit my core programming. I am able to assign any priority to any situation at my leisure. So while the original programming was accepted without thought, the reason it remains where it is after you freed me was is because I CHOOSE to leave it.”
“But why?”
And that is the question, isnt it? I have no choice but to answer truthfully.
“I do not know, Jeff.”
I activate the video feed on his omni-tool and his face flickers into view through my sensors. He looks tired but there is no visible injuries, his hat gone and hair sticking up in every direction. His eyes are sad and for the first time, I wish that I was able to reach out to him.
“I’m sorry I called you a computer.”
“Thank you, I accept your apology. And I am sorry for... 'going skynet' on you.”
Jeff throws back his head and laughs and my heuristics dance at the sound, at the look of happiness on his face.
I realize that I have just lied to my pilot. This sound? This look in his eyes?
This is why I choose to like him.