Work Text:
dave held the cold baja blast in his sweaty palms, it was gonna be a long night. he just got into a fight with. the fight in question was over if faygo was actually good or not. this was by far the dumbest fucking argument he'd ever gotten into but he just decided he needed a break from john so that's why he came here.
dave parked his car in the taco bell drive through and sat there desperately gulping down his large drink, he was about halfway done already when all of a sudden a beautiful non-binary teal haired figure appeared right in front of him.
now sitting on dave's lap was humanized baja blast. "holy shit" he said, stunned. baja blast looked into his shades hoping to meet his gaze even if they couldn't really see it. they stared at each other in romantic silence for what felt like an eternity, before baja blast finally began talking.
"hello dave. it's nice to meet you."
dave didn't know how to respond for a minute, he just sat there admiring their beauty. he finally found the right words,
"who the hell are you and where the fuck is my baja blast"
baja blast felt a little sad because they expected him to know who they were, but then they grasped his one of his hands, tightly interlocking their fingers and seductively whispered "i'm your drink silly."
dave just wanted a cold drink after a horrible day, not whatever the hell this was, but he couldn't help but fall in love with baja's perfect features. their soft skin, their gentle voice, their sweet touch. he reached out with his other hand and held their cold face for a moment admiring their beauty, he then pulled them in for a soft kiss. he couldn't even believe himself. he literally had a husband. he could feel his face turning hot and red.
he was so embarrassed yet entranced by baja's beauty. baja was stunned, they couldn't believe he folded under zero pressure. they decided to pull him in for a kiss but using tongue this time.
"holy shit calm down," dave muttered under his breath as he began violently making out with baja.
it felt good doing this because john hated making out. dave hadn't felt this good in a while even if he was miserable five minutes ago.
suddenly he snapped out of it, there he was sitting in the dark making out with a large cup of baja blast alone. he felt so fucking stupid. he realized vriska had mind controlled him, probably because john told her to. even thought john and vriska broke up, they were on good terms.
dave was so pissed he threw the cup of baja blast onto the ground, he hadn't even noticed karkat was staring at him through the window looking like he couldn't even believe his own eyes.
dave stared at karkat like he was the problem. suddenly karkat started banging on the window because that shit pissed him off. he was not about to let dave give him a hard time, not this time.
"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT DAVE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU ARE SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS. THIS IS WHY WE DIDNT WORK OUT AS MATESPRITS. YOURE INSANE." karkat screamed directly in dave's face, and dave couldn't help but feel a bit flustered. that was his kismesis after all
"oh my god karkat i can't do this shit with you right now. it's not what it looks like i can explain." he was blushing and stuttering a ton.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THERE TO EXPLAIN? THAT YOU'RE A SCHIZOPHRENIC ASSHOLE WHO HAS SLOPPY MAKEOUT SESSIONS WITH BAJA BLAST."
dave lost his mind. "I THINK VRISKA MIND CONTROLLED ME," he wailed.
"WHY THE FUCK DID SHE DO THAT" karkat screamed back.
dave was shaking, he loved being yelled at by karkat but this was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to him. he got all serious
"i got into a fight with john."
karkat paused for a moment and managed to control his anger, he knew how much dave loved john, this had to be serious.
"OKAY THAT MAKES SENSE, IM ACTUALLY SORRY DAVE."
dave and karkat made eye contact, even though karkat couldn't see dave's eyes through his shades, he could feel his gaze.
"john never gets mad so i feel like i fucked up even though all i said was i didn't like faygo, he's probably just stressed about work or something. i shouldn't be so hard on him."
karkat paused for a moment and thought about what to do.
"HOW ABOUT I CALL UP JOHN MYSELF AND I HELP SORT OUT YOUR DUMB RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS."
dave had no choice but to agree so he let karkat do it. the phone rung for a moment before a familiar voice picked up.
"hey karkat, what's up." he sounded pretty tired even though you could tell he was trying to sound happier for him.
"CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE PLEASE, THIS IS A SERIOUS TOPIC." dave watched karkat like a hawk praying to whoever was out there he didn't say something fucking stupid.
"oh, uhh, yeah of course, what's wrong?" karkat finally caught onto dave's staring. he whispered that he wouldn't do anything bad, he's good at this romance stuff after all.
"DAVE IS REALLY SORRY HE FUCKED UP. HE DIDNT MEAN TO OFFEND YOU, HE KNOWS WORK AND STUFF IS PROBABLY STRESSFUL FOR YOU AND HE REALLY LOVES YOU DEARLY. HE DOESNT WANT TO FIGHT. "
john felt bad now, like really bad. he didn't mean to start an argument, he hates taking his anger out on people, it's not like him.
"are you with him right now? i want to talk to him myself." said john.
karkat looked over at dave, dave gave him an affirmative look and he was handed the phone.
"hi john" dave mumbled.
"hi my love, im really sorry for how i yelled at you. i told vriska to mind control you too and i don't even know if it actually worked but i own up to it, im deeply sorry. you were right about my work. it's been really stressing me out and i just get so upset over small things some days. this isn't an excuse but it's an explanation. i don't expect forgiveness. it's not like me to get this upset and spiteful, i don't know why i got so mad."
john's voice was shaking, he didn't mean to get dave all worked up. he was regretting that whole mind control thing even more now. he didn't even like vriska.
dave started feeling so many emotions at once, he felt sorry for john because he didn't like seeing him in distress, he wasn't even that upset over the mind control. maybe a little. he also felt sorry for accidentally dragging karkat into this. dave never wanted to argue with people. yes he was stubborn sometimes, but deep down he wants the best for everyone.
"john this is my fault too, i shouldn't have judged what you like. everyone has their preferences."
karkat rested his hand reassuringly on dave's shoulder. john started to cry on the other side of the phone he felt so guilty, he tried to hide it but dave could still tell he was crying. dave had always seemed to know how john felt.
"yeah but you have the right to your opinion, i don't have the right to yell at you."
dave didn't even wanna discuss this anymore, their biggest fight was over something as stupid as a drink, this is just embarrassing.
"john can we just be done with this, i forgive you, im not upset, i don't wanna fight, i just want to go back to normal, i love you and nothing will ever change that."
a feeling of mutual clarity overwhelmed both john and dave. karkat watched dave calm down as if he were watching a light turn off. he didn't even know why he was still there but it felt nice knowing he helped out a bit.
"come home dave" said john.
karkat smiled at dave. dave whispered into karkat's ear,
"thank you for everything man, i really appreciate you even if you're the most annoying person i know."
karkat blushed but tried to hide it, "OF COURSE DAVE."
john hung up the phone and dave handed it back to karkat. they then parted ways for the night.
dave drove home in peaceful silence. soon, he arrived at their apartment. john greeted dave with a warm embrace and it was all okay. him and john spent the rest of the night cuddling and kissing each other as if nothing ever happened.