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Christmas

Summary:

Because Christmas without a little disaster was no fun, right?

Work Text:

"This is all your fault!" Chuuya yelled, desperately trying to figure out how to get the fire extinguisher off the wall as Dazai, his stupid stupid stupid husband tried to throw bowls of water at the Christmas Tree. "Oh, Chuuya, let's use real candles this year! It'll be fine! Fuck!"

A few hours earlier...

Chuuya and Dazai had been married for three years, but they fought like they had on the first day they meet. The only difference between their fighting is back then they seriously wanted to hurt each other, but now it was the last thing they wanted to do. But still, they still had many, many things they disagreed on.. especially when it came to Holidays.

"Dazai, for the last time, we are not using real candles in the tree," Chuuya moaned as they shopped for supplies at Walmart. At his growled words, Dazai pouting, but perked up again a few moments later, determined to get him to agree.

"They do it in the movies," Dazai declared, sounding as serious as one could with a Santa beard and hat on. (Yet another thing they had fought over but that was something else, let's not get into that..) "Nothing ever happens."

At that Chuuya stopped walking. Dazai almost ran into him put pulled himself to a stop just in time, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion at Chuuya's sudden stop. Slowly, Chuuya turned around, and the hair on the back of his neck prickling, Dazai stepped back. "Movies," Chuuya hissed, very slowly, "are not real! Real candles are dangerous! They have something on the top called fire, which burns.... Which can catch things on fire super easy and destroy small wooden houses like ours in a flash!"

Dazai sighed. He really did think Chuuya was over reacting. The chances of any of that happening where so slim, there was no point in thinking about it as much as Chuuya. That was their problem- according to Dazai Chuuya over thought things when it came to Holidays, and according to Chuuya Dazai got childish and never listened to perfectly good reason. "Chuuya, c'mon, real flames won't be a problem," Dazai tried again, giving Chuuya the biggest puppy dog eyes he could. "It'll be fine!"

Back to now...

It wasn't fine. The Christmas tree was on fire, and the extinguisher seemed to be stuck to the wall. The tiny little bits of water Dazai was splashing onto the fire using the small china bowl was useless. And Chuuya... had called it!

"Sorry," Dazai called, covering his mouth as his eyes watered from the smoke quickly filling the room. He moved over to Chuuya, and together they jerked the extinguisher off the wall, and pointed it at the fire quickly destroying the last of the flames.

Every year.
The first year they were together Dazai had decided to order all the gifts online, ignoring Chuuya's hesitance. Then, a few days before he family get together, they got the notice that the presents would be late- by several months.
The second year, also known as last year, Dazai had forgotten he was allergic to vanilla and had made cookies. Chuuya had missed Christmas, since he had been in the hospital instead.
And now Dazai toke a liken to real candles and set the tree on fire. Well, Christmas without a Christmas tree wasn't as bad as Christmas in a hospital, but still..

"I'm going to kill you."

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