Work Text:
“Shiro, log #1”
So... Um... I'm not sure how to start this... how do I call it? Let's just... Shiro log number 1. We'll see how far it goes... So, Allura had this idea, that we should start documenting our journeys. Something about assessing patterns in our behavior to keep track of our mental health. She says in stressful situations, that is our everyday life, we need to take care of ourselves, too. I think it's a brilliant thought, I just don't know what to say. She said it has to be like a diary. So...
Today was surprisingly uneventful. The team is doing ok... I think Pidge is going slightly crazy, though. She gets bored quickly and tries to occupy herself with somewhat... strange activities. I think she's trying to assess and catalogue the patterns of the team’s behavior, herself. That girl needs something more substantial to work on but Coran doesn't let her get in the ships controls too much. I think she wants to break it down and put it back together. Let's just hope we'll get a new mission soon.
Our current location is.... somewhere in an uncharted part of the galaxy. I think we’ve been on this ship for too long now. I’ll talk to Allura and try to arrange a shore leave.
How do I… um… Shiro out. I sound like Lance…
Shiro log number one – over.
“Allura’s log. Document one.”
This is Allura, Princess of Planet Altea, destroyed but not forgotten. Documenting my own and the team’s mental status is a necessity, therefore I decided to make a rule about making daily or semi daily logs. Besides… I think the team needs to talk to someone other than the people they live with. And since we have no such option now I think the best will be for them to talk to… well, to themselves. So they can say what they couldn’t say to others. I think some of them, at least, have a lot pent up.
I’m doing fine. I’m longing for a new mission, though, because this castle can get a bit too depressing. Hopefully, soon. The only other girl here is Pidge, though she isn’t really one to talk girly… lately, I’ve been finding myself talking to the mice more and more. Wow…. I am part of the team’s problem after all. This ‘log rule’ is a brilliant idea.
Coran’s calling me to the Bridge.
Allura’s log, document one, over.
“Pidge log 1.”
I’m officially going crazy. There, I said it. I think Allura commanded us to document our thoughts to assess if we are crazy now. Well, I am. I’m bored, Coran doesn’t let me inspect more of the ship’s structure, and I can’t stay put for very much longer. I want a new mission. I need something to do.
The team’s getting on my nerves, too. Shiro’s also bored and seems worried about everyone, which sucks, because he’s grey already, he doesn’t need to worry more. Hunk wouldn’t stop complaining about food. Which I, too, to be honest, can’t eat for much longer. Allura keeps trying to have a ‘girl chat’ with me. Keith and Lance… well, ever since they started dating Lance has been even more insufferable. It’s been like, what… three months now? Almost, I think… Keith is very professional and tries to keep their relationship low on the radar, but Lance is the exact opposite. We’ve spent years in this castle together, one would think I’d be used to it by now. I am. Very used to it. Too used to it. Just now, not ten minutes ago, I walked on Keith and Lance making out. I swear on my Lion, if I walk in on them once more… wait… I wonder… If they… already… I mean… hm.
These past couple of months I’ve been doing a bit of a field work investigation on the team. Yeah, I’m bored. This is my life now. Watching a group of men interact. I need to sneak in and find a way to investigate those control panels… I need to find a way so Coran won’t notice.
Anyway, my people skills are still not… well, not very great, so I decided to make them better. And what I’ve noticed is that… I don’t know. Haven’t noticed much. Although, I could tell that Keith and Lance are going to start dating few weeks in advance. I see that Hunk is sad more often than not. Or maybe just very hungry for real food. And also, that he still considers Lance a better friend than any of us. Allura is quite annoying, though I appreciate her greatly. At the moment, Coran is my worst enemy. I will defeat him.
Anyway, I just had an idea… a question, more like. I need to talk to Hunk.
Pidge log done.
“Keith 1.”
I’m alright. Nothing’s up. No signs of mental disturbances.
Keith singing out.
“Lance autobiography chapter one.”
Ever since I was little I knew I was destined for greatness. I’ve always had the looks, the brains and the charisma to achieve it. So I had an idea that I should start recording my autobiography immediately. Centuries from now people will read it, when I put the words in a book, and marvel at my awesomeness. The Greatest Paladin Lance, they’ll call me. There should be a ‘sir’ somewhere… The Greatest Sir Paladin Lance. No. The Sir Greatest Pala… Sir The Greatest Paladin Lance. The Greatest Paladin Sir Lance… Note to myself – think of a catchier name. Someone else should write the story of my youth before Voltron. That shall be the prequel. And the few past years…. Since the Voltron thing started… someone should write that, also… I don’t want to get into all that now. It’s too much to tell… maybe if someone listens… I don’t have anyone to tell that now! Everyone on this castle have lived it. Note to self – find someone to listen. That shall be the… the first book. Starting now, this one, is the second, then.
Even the greatest people worry sometimes. My current worry is that Keith, my boyfriend, second best Paladin, my sunshine who… almost never smiles… and is nothing like sunshine… and is always grumpy… and… Hm… Weird, but I still like him very much. So anyway, Keith and I, myself, Lance the Awesome, note to self – pretty good name, have been dating for almost three months and I think it’s about time to celebrate an anniversary. Problem is, there’s nothing exciting about celebrating it here! I need to find a way. Pidge is a genius, I should ask her. Yes, that’s a brilliant idea! I’ll do that. I’ll go do that now.
Lance out.
“Coran’s experience, documenting, number one.”
I’m onto Pidge. She’s planning something. I can’t let her into control rooms! There’s no way she can * Great but * Very clever * Can’t keep this up * Allura told us to talk to * New mission * Planet with a few small moons * So maybe soon * Anyway, let me just grab my tea, get comfortable in my armchair and I’ll tell all of my story. Ok let’s ***
There it is. I’ll continue it in another document. I have a ship to pilot now!
Over, for now.
“Hunk’s diary. Entry one.”
I’m a bit bored of this ship. I’m longing for a new planet to explore. Meet the planet’s people, experience new things… Ok, I’m most excited about the food. Last time we were on a planet that had PIZZA! Well, the closest thing to pizza there could be, I suppose… It wasn’t really a pizza but it reminded me of it so, it still counts.
Otherwise I’m well. The team keeps me company, I have my friends with me all the time, so there’s really nothing too bad happening with me. I think Pidge is at war with Coran, which is extremely amusing. Well, only if it ends well. It’s a secret, but I’m totally rooting for Pidge. Lance has been spending more time with Keith. I wonder what are they doing most of the time… Well, I didn’t mean... I mean… Um… They aren’t talking that much, I bet. Do they have stuff to talk about? I bet Lance does most of the talking. I hate Pidge. She put these images in my head and now I can’t think about Lance and Keith normally. So, earlier today she talked to me about this idea she had… Well, let’s just say she started a bet pool between the team members. Lance and Keith can’t know about it. I think it’s very awkward, but, well… I bet that YES. I wonder, though, when will Lance tell me. On the other hand, I hope that never. Oh please, never. Oh my God. No. NO.
Bye diary Hunk gone!!!!!
“Shiro, log #2”
Pidge… Well, there’s a bet going around. I totally disapprove. Totally. There should not be talks like these. We’re all living and spending so much time together, we should be able to keep our privacy.
I’m worried about Pidge. This kind of behavior is so unlike her. Maybe I should help her create a diversion so she can get past Coran. I’ll talk to her about it.
By the way… I bet NO.
Shiro log number two – over.
“Allura’s log. Document two.”
I cannot believe this! Pidge is trying to invade team’s privacy in the most personal, intimate manner! This cannot be tolerated. I need to find a way to stop this ridiculous bet. Any kind of “bet” about team members’ intimate actions… so rude. When she came over to me to talk I hoped she really wanted to… well, talk! She talked about relationships, which, I liked, then about Lance and Keith’s relationship, which I try not to get into, because privacy, which doesn’t really matter anyway, because Lance talks a lot, then dropped the bet bomb. And here I thought we’d finally have our girl talk. But maybe… maybe it was her way of girl talking. Now that I think of it… I might have acted a bit irrationally. I have to go apologize immediately. And… I have to be more of a part of the team, right? So, I’m betting… NO.
Allura’s log, document two, over.
“Lance autobiography chapter two.”
Well, asking Pidge was as pointless as asking Coran was. I don’t even know why I asked him. He just happened to walk in a moment after Pidge left. Since I was feeling a bit devastated, I asked him. Aaaand, of course, got a lecture about relationships in return. Thanks, but no thanks. Coran, you old, moustache wearing, guck loving, pretentious old…. man… I am never asking you for advice ever again. Anyway, this leaves me at NOWHERE, just where I STARTED. I only have a couple of days, what do I dooooo? What do I do? It has to be perfect, I gotta keep up my image.
I could ask Allura, she has to have good ideas about it, right? I might as well.
Lance out.
“Keith 2.”
Nothing has changed. I’m still very fine.
Keith singing out.
“Coran’s experience, documenting, number two.”
I am the best at giving advices, if I can say so myself. I just saved a young boy from a lot of trouble. Still got it. Though, from what I hear, he might not need very much advice after all. There’s a bet going on, I won’t go into details, because it does feel inappropriate, but I still feel quite young, so I couldn’t let the kids have all the fun. I bet that YES.
That devil of a Pidge is plotting * By no circumstances can I let * Too dangerous * Anyway, I have to calm down and concentrate on telling my story. I’m going back to my favorite armch- ***
Wow, that took longer than I expected. But I have to admit, it was a remarkable adventure. I’ll continue some other time.
Over, for now.
“Hunk’s diary. Entry two.”
I hear talks about a revolution. I think Pidge has teamed up with Shiro. Finally, something more interesting.
Lance seems down these days… I wonder what’s bugging him. He wouldn’t talk to me, though. Maybe he’s just tired. Keith has been… well, Keith. Training, most of the time. And I’m the same. I miss cooking. I’d like some ice cream…
I think I have to talk to Allura and see if we can land on some kind of planet. She told me no before, but in her defense, there weren’t any planets there with any kind of solid surface. I’ll try again later today.
And for now… I’ll go see what Lance is doing.
Bye diary!
“Pidge log 2.”
This is the most amusing. The bet thing worked! Everyone is betting. So, for now we have Shiro and Allura for NO and me, Hunk and Coran, oh God, CORAN, how embarrassing, at YES. I wonder if I could hack into Lance’s logs and find out… Allura would probably kill me. Shiro, also. And Lance… Shit, Keith would actually kill me, so I think I shouldn’t. But I can’t just go and ask, right? If I ever had the chance, that was when Lance asked me about dates. I would have liked to help, but I don’t feel like an expert in that field, so couldn’t do anything than just… nothing. I hope he goes to talk about it with Allura, that should satisfy her girly talk needs.
Anyway, I’ll have to find a way to find out. Sooner or later, Lance should tell Hunk. Getting information from Hunk is pretty easy, so I should be able to do that.
Shiro is a real friend. Tonight, I am going to infiltrate the control room and break the panels down. I need to investigate the mechanisms. And Shiro is going to help me. I’m thinking small steps. Maybe, first the wiring. This will have to be a few nights’ job. I’m going to Shiro’s. This needs some planning.
Pidge log done.
“Lance autobiography chapter three.”
I’m avoiding Allura. Asking her was a mistake. Big time. She got this shiny look in her eyes, all happy and stuff. I think she hopes that I will fill for Pidge’s lack of girlyness now. She went on for 45 minutes until I saw an opportunity when she turned around and bolted. Wasn’t my best move, but… I was terrified! Felt like I’d be asked to join a cult soon. It doesn’t make sense. But that’s how it felt. Allura, the girly cult leader… well, she is a princess. Are we a cult? We are not. We are a team. Does she think we’re a cult? She does not, of course. What does she think?
Hunk’s coming, I’ll end this chapter here.
Lance out.
“Keith 3.”
Allura checked the servers, and found out that my log size is, apparently, the smallest. She said I have to talk more. Um… I’ve been training a lot. Sometimes someone from the team joins me. Usually it’s Shiro. Lance tries sometimes, but he’s too lazy to do it more often. I think Pidge is hiding something. I’m not talking about the her and Shiro’s plan to break into control chambers, that’s not a big secret. Well, it is for Coran and Allura, I suppose. I’m talking about something else. I asked Lance, but he didn’t think something was wrong. Maybe I am paranoid a little bit, but I feel like Pidge is glancing more often than ever in my and Lance’s direction. Especially when we are together. I wonder what it is.
Speaking of Lance… um… he’s hiding something from me, also. I just know it. I hope he’s not mad about something. Maybe I should… show more appreciation to him. Because I do. Appreciate him, I mean…
Keith singing out.
“Keith the Grumpy, log entrance I-have-no-idea”
I, Keith, boyfriend of the Mighty Lance, owner of a great ass and a huge…
“Lance! What are you doing in my room?”
“Um…. Just waiting for you?”
“Are you… are you recording a log?”
“Um.. just a bit.”
“You called it Keith the Grumpy?”
“It was with affection! I only got a few seconds, but if you listen to it…”
“Get out, Lance.”
“No, wait…”
“Get out or I’ll throw *
Um… I threw Lance out. I’ll delete this log. Why do I even like that guy?..
“Allura’s log. Document three.”
I can’t believe Lance. He comes to me asking for advice and then disappears. I thought he wanted to chat. I used to be great at relationship advice. I could’ve helped him. And to think I felt bad for invading his privacy by participating in the bet. Well, now I can calmly bet NO, because I bet he couldn’t get any from Keith! Ha!
Allura’s log, document three, over.
“Allura’s log. Document four.”
I regret saying that. I am ashamed of myself. So ashamed… let’s just… ignore that and forget it happened.
Allura’s log, document four, over.
“Coran’s experience, documenting, number three.”
Pidge and Shiro think I don’t know. Oh, but I know they * I’ll be there and * They’ll never call me an old man ever * HA! Victory will be mine! * And then it will all be *
Ok, now time to continue right where we ***
Here, this story is over. It took me such a long time to tell it. Totally worth it, though, I believe. I’ll come back with another story soon.
Over, for now.
“Pidge log 3.”
It didn’t work. How did that old man know? He must have heard us talking somewhere… No one from the team told him, I’m sure. That old stalker… I’m so angry right now. Everything was up to plan when that old fart showed up with some kind of weird, I’m assuming Altean stick of doom or something and… I cannot right now, I’m too angry. But we’ll try again. Oh, we will. Shiro’s on my side. We’ll do it.
Pidge log done.
“Shiro, log #3”
It didn’t work. But I thought it was fun. Pidge is very angry, though. Of course she is. It was her plan. She’s determined to try again and I’ll help her. We can totally do it. I think we’re a great team. So, plan was working great but then Coran showed up with his Altean staff of horror and threatened to beat us with it. I knew I saw him vanishing around the corner the other day when we were making the plan. He must have heard it then. That sneaky bastard. Anyway, he started chasing us. We tried to run to our chambers, and I admit, it was quite a ruckus. All three of us screaming. One with rage and two with fear. Then, Keith and Lance showed up from nowhere. Lance put his foot in Coran’s way and when the old man fell, Keith quickly took the staff and tied him up. Although, Coran hit his head pretty hard falling, he went straight out of consciousness. Keith and Lance took him to his room. I have no idea what they were doing slumping around at night, and I don’t want to know. Anyway. The night has been eventful. I’m looking forward to next time.
Shiro log number three – over.
“Lance autobiography chapter four.”
I don’t know why I didn’t go to Hunk in the first place. He’s my best friend, and, apparently, great at giving dating advice. Though, I had to assume his advice would be food related. Anyway, now we just have to combine forces and persuade Allura to go to some kind of planet in the direction of planets, not nowhere, even if… I have to run, the alarm just went off. We have a mission!
Lance out.
“Coran’s experience, documenting (or lack of it) number four.”
I must have been on an unsuccessful streak. Last night I fell while chasing those two rascals, still can’t remember how, and hurt my head… So now the team’s on a mission and I’m staying and guarding the castle. Allura’s been complaining about the size of my logs so I decided to check on it. And what do I find? Silence! That’s what! Apparently, these things do not pick up sounds from further away. And I’ve been pacing, and I told my stories on my armchair and… nothing recorded… I’m going to cry now, and then record everything again…
Over, for now.
“Hunk’s diary. Entry three.”
I’m so sad. I want to document this emotion. The mission went well for everyone except for me. I hurt my leg and I can’t… I can’t go out to explore the planet. I heard it has regular decent food. I…. I can’t right now, no. While everyone’s having fun, I have to… I’ll join Coran and we’ll start a ‘Crying Losers’ club.
Bye, diary…
“Lance autobiography chapter five.”
For me, Lance the Greatest Paladin Sir... note to self – work on that name.
“Seriously?”
“Yes, Keith, my darling, seriously. I want to be remembered like the amazing person I am, not a boring one with a simple boring name. Not that my name is boring. I just want to make it cooler.”
“Why do I bother…”
“Because you looooove me OUCH, ok ok. Anyway. I wanted to record this log while the memories are still fresh. Keith is here, too. Say hi, honey OUCH damn, ok ok. So, the mission went great. Well, Hunk hurt his leg, but he’ll be fine. Allura will heal him fast. He was quite pissed though, because he couldn’t go out and eat ALL THE AMAZING FOOD WE ATE!”
“Lance, he’s your best friend.”
“Yeah, he is, that’s why I cheered him up. Didn’t I?”
“You did. That was very nice.”
“Hell yeah it was. Because I’m just amazing and cool and awesome like that DAMN ok, Keith, come on.”
“Are all your logs like that? Just bragging?”
“No. Of course not. My logs are very deep and personal, thanks for asking. Ok, so. We had to fight some kind of space animals… I don’t remember the name and I don’t care now. I’m sure Allura will document it thoroughly. What matters now, is that we were on a very nice planet with very nice food and we got our anniversary date! Of course, Keith didn’t even remember…”
“I didn’t think three-month anniversary was a thing.”
“Of course it is! Anyway, I used you-know-who’s advice, I can’t say it, because Keith’s here, and it went great, it was the best…”
“It’s Hunk.”
“How did you… How did you know?”
“Seriously?”
“Do you read minds now? If so, please don’t read mine. Or… no, on the other hand, please read mine, because I have some very nice suggestions for tonight PUT THAT PILLOW DOWN YOU CAN’T, STOP HITTING ME! You, know, you’re very sexy when you UFF- ***
“Hunk’s diary. Entry four. Quick update.”
Lance brought me ice cream sundae. He truly is the best friend ever.