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It all started when Pond got a minor cold.
Dunk watched in growing horror as Joong transformed into some kind of caretaking angel, bringing Pond hot soup, checking his temperature every hour, and even (Dunk's eye twitched) tucking a blanket around him during their break.
"You need to rest, Pond," Joong said softly, his voice dripping with concern. "Don't push yourself."
Pond, the traitor, just smiled weakly and accepted the care.
Dunk wanted to scream.
He'd been trying to get Joong's attention for MONTHS. He'd tried being funny (Joong laughed but then turned to talk to someone else). He'd tried being cool (Joong said "nice" and walked away). He'd tried being obviously available (Joong remained oblivious).
But THIS? This soft, caring, attentive version of Joong?
Dunk needed this directed at him immediately.
The solution was obvious: Get sick.
***
Dunk stood in front of his freezer at 11 PM, staring at his collection of ice cream with the determination of a warrior going into battle.
"Okay," he muttered to himself. "People get sick from eating ice cream in the cold, right? That's a thing."
He grabbed three tubs (chocolate, strawberry, and mint chip) and headed to his balcony where the night air was pleasantly cool.
Two hours later, Dunk had:
- Consumed three entire tubs of ice cream
- Sat in the cold night air in just a tank top
- Even stuck his feet in a bucket of ice water for good measure
The next morning, he woke up feeling...absolutely perfect.
No sore throat. No sniffles. Not even a slight cough.
His stomach didn't even hurt from the ice cream overdose.
"What the hell?" Dunk stared at his reflection, looking disgustingly healthy and well-rested.
At the studio, Joong greeted him with a bright smile. "You look energetic today, Dunk!" Dunk wanted to cry.
***
"The problem was I wasn't committed enough," Dunk told himself as he checked the weather forecast obsessively.
Finally (FINALLY) there was a rainstorm predicted for Thursday.
Dunk prepared like he was planning a heist. He wore his thinnest clothes. He "forgot" his umbrella. He even made sure to stand directly under a broken gutter where water would pour on him.
The rain came down in sheets. Dunk stood there, getting absolutely drenched, shivering dramatically even though no one was watching.
"This has to work," he muttered through chattering teeth. "No one can survive this without getting sick."
Friday morning: Dunk woke up feeling refreshed and energized.
His skin was glowing. His eyes were bright. He looked like he'd just come back from a spa retreat.
"I STOOD IN THE RAIN FOR AN HOUR!" he shouted at his bathroom mirror. His reflection just looked annoyingly healthy back at him.
Meanwhile, at the studio, Joong caught a slight chill and sneezed once. ONCE.
And suddenly everyone was fussing over him, bringing him tea, telling him to rest.
Dunk watched Joong accept a blanket from a staff member and seriously considered screaming into the void.
***
"Okay, new strategy," Dunk announced to his best friend Ryu over the phone. "I'm going to actively seek out germs."
"That's insane," Ryu said.
"I'm going to the hospital."
"That's REALLY insane."
"I'm going to touch every doorknob in public. I'm going to the mall during flu season. I'm going to shake hands with everyone. I'm going to..."
"Dunk, please..."
"I'M GOING TO LICK A SUBWAY POLE."
"DUNK, NO."
Dunk did not lick a subway pole (Ryu threatened to tell Joong, which would ruin the whole point). But he did:
- Visit three different malls during peak hours
- Touch every public railing he could find
- Refuse to use hand sanitizer
- Share drinks with anyone who had even a slight sniffle
- Hang around the children's play area (germ central, everyone knows this) One week later: Nothing. Not a single symptom.
A five-year-old he'd been near sneezed on him directly.
Dunk went home full of hope.
The next day, the five-year-old's mother posted on social media that her son had the flu. Dunk remained perfectly, infuriatingly healthy.
"I'm cursed," Dunk told Ryu. "I'm cursed with perfect health."
"Most people would consider that a blessing."
"Most people aren't trying to get Joong to tenderly place his hand on their forehead to check for a fever!"
Ryu sighed. "You need therapy."
***
Dunk read somewhere that lack of sleep weakens the immune system.
Perfect.
He stayed up for 48 hours straight, gaming, watching movies, doing anything to keep himself awake.
By hour 40, he was hallucinating slightly and had convinced himself that his lamp was judging him.
"You don't understand," he told the lamp. "I need to be sick. I need Joong to bring me soup." The lamp said nothing, but Dunk felt judged anyway.
Hour 48: Dunk stumbled into the studio looking like a zombie extra from a horror movie. "Dunk! Are you okay?" Joong rushed over, and Dunk's heart soared.
This was it. This was the moment.
"I'm... I'm not feeling well," Dunk said weakly, which wasn't even a lie. He felt like death. Joong's eyes widened with concern. He reached out and...
...patted Dunk's shoulder.
"You should go home and sleep! You look exhausted."
"Maybe you could... come with me? Take care of me?" Dunk tried, his brain too tired for subtlety.
"I would, but I have that meeting. But hey, I'll text you later to check on you!" Joong smiled and walked away.
Dunk went home, slept for 14 hours straight, and woke up feeling like a million baht. Perfectly. Healthy.
He screamed into his pillow for a full minute.
***
"We need to talk about your sick fetish," Ryu said, sitting Dunk down with Pond as backup. "It's not a fetish!" Dunk protested. "I just want Joong to take care of me!" "Have you considered," Pond said slowly, "just telling him you like him?" "No."
"Why not?"
"Because that's TERRIFYING. Getting sick is way easier."
"Except you CAN'T get sick," Pond pointed out. "Dude, I saw you eat street food that gave me food poisoning for three days. You didn't even get a stomachache."
"I have a gift and a curse," Dunk said dramatically.
"You have an immune system that's too powerful," Ryu corrected. "And you're an idiot." "What if he rejects me?"
"What if he says yes?"
Dunk paused. He hadn't actually considered that.
"But the sick thing would be so much easier..."
"DUNK."
His friends stared at him with varying levels of exasperation.
"Fine," Dunk sighed. "FINE. I'll just... tell him. Like a normal person." ***
Dunk had a plan. He was going to tell Joong after their shoot on Friday. He'd prepared a whole speech. He'd practiced in the mirror. He was READY.
Thursday night, he felt a tickle in his throat.
"No," he whispered. "No, no, no."
By Friday morning, Dunk had a full-blown fever, a cough, a runny nose, and body aches.
"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME," he croaked at his ceiling. "NOW?! NOW YOU DECIDE TO GET SICK?!"
His immune system had apparently decided to develop a sense of ironic timing. He texted the group chat that he couldn't make it to the studio.
Twenty minutes later, his doorbell rang.
Dunk dragged himself to the door, looking like death warmed over, and opened it to find... Joong, holding a bag of supplies and looking worried.
"I heard you were sick," Joong said. "I brought soup and medicine and... Dunk, you look terrible. Go lie down."
Before Dunk could process what was happening, Joong was ushering him to the couch, wrapping him in blankets, and pressing a hand to his forehead.
"You're burning up," Joong murmured, and Dunk's thoughts scattered like his immune system had finally given up on his brain cells too.
"You... you came," Dunk croaked.
"Of course I came. You're important to me."
Dunk's heart did a little flip despite feeling like he'd been hit by a truck.
Over the next few hours, Joong:
- Made him soup
- Brought him medicine at the right times
- Put a cool cloth on his forehead
- Sat with him and played with his hair while he dozed
- Generally was the perfect caretaker Dunk had been fantasizing about It was everything Dunk had wanted.
Except he felt too terrible to properly enjoy it.
"This is the worst," Dunk mumbled into his blanket.
"I know, being sick sucks," Joong said sympathetically, completely misunderstanding.
"No, I mean..." Dunk's fever-loosened tongue betrayed him. "I tried so hard to get sick so you'd take care of me like this, and now that I'm actually sick, I feel too terrible to appreciate it properly."
Silence.
Dunk's eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said.
Joong stared at him. "You... what?"
"That was the fever!" Dunk tried desperately. "My brain is literally boiling right now! Nothing I say counts!"
"Dunk." Joong's voice was strange. "Did you try to get sick on purpose?" "...maybe?"
"Because you wanted me to take care of you?"
"...possibly?"
Joong was quiet for a long moment. Then he started laughing.
Not just a chuckle; full-on, bent-over, tears-in-his-eyes laughing.
"It's not funny!" Dunk protested, which only made Joong laugh harder.
"You..." Joong gasped between laughs. "You tried to GET SICK? Dunk, why didn't you just ASK me to spend time with you?"
"Because that's scary!"
"And trying to contract the flu isn't?!"
"It seemed easier at the time!"
Joong finally calmed down, wiping his eyes. He sat on the edge of the couch, looking at Dunk with an expression that was fond and exasperated in equal measure.
"You're an idiot," Joong said softly.
"I know," Dunk mumbled.
"I would have spent time with you anyway. You didn't need to be sick." "But you're so nice when people are sick. You get all soft and caring and..."
"Dunk." Joong reached out and took his hand. "I'm always soft with you. You just never noticed."
Dunk blinked. "What?"
"I bring you coffee every morning. I always save you a seat. I laugh at all your jokes even when they're terrible. I literally rearranged my entire schedule last month so I could go to that restaurant you wanted to try."
"I... I thought you were just being nice?"
"I WAS being nice. Because I like you, you dense, beautiful idiot."
Dunk's brain stalled. "You... what?"
Joong smiled, soft and genuine. "I like you. I've liked you for months. I've been trying to show you, but you never seemed interested, so I didn't want to push."
"I'VE BEEN INTERESTED! I've been SO interested! I tried to get SICK for you!"
"Yes, and we're going to talk about that concerning decision-making later," Joong said. "But right now, you need to rest."
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Dunk's forehead (not to check his temperature, but just because).
Dunk's fever-addled heart couldn't take it.
"I'm going to pass out," he announced.
"From the fever or from emotions?"
"Both."
Joong laughed again, soft and warm. "Sleep, Dunk. I'll be here when you wake up." "Promise?"
"Promise. And when you're better, I'm taking you on a proper date. One that doesn't involve you trying to compromise your immune system."
Dunk smiled, finally letting his eyes close. "Okay."
"And Dunk?"
"Hmm?"
"For the record, I think your annoyingly perfect immune system is kind of amazing. Even if it did ruin your terrible plans."
Dunk wanted to respond, but he was already drifting off, warm and cared for and finally, finally getting what he wanted.
Even if he did have to actually get sick to get it.
The irony wasn't lost on him.
***
**Postlude: Three Weeks Later**
"I can't believe you tried to lick a subway pole," Joong said, scrolling through his phone as they sat together on Dunk's couch.
"I DIDN'T lick it! Ryu stopped me!"
"The fact that you considered it is concerning enough."
Dunk groaned, hiding his face in Joong's shoulder. "Can we please stop talking about my temporary insanity?"
"Absolutely not. I'm going to bring this up at every opportunity." Joong wrapped an arm around him, pressing a kiss to his temple. "My boyfriend tried to get the flu to get my attention. That's a story for the ages."
"You're the worst."
"I'm the best thing that ever happened to you."
"That's..." Dunk paused, considering. "Okay, yeah, that's unfortunately accurate," he admitted, smiling against Joong's shoulder.
His phone buzzed. It was a message in the group chat.
**Ryu:** How's the happy couple?
**Pond:** Has Dunk tried to get sick again?
**Pond:** Should we stage an intervention part 2?
Dunk typed back: *I'm perfectly healthy and perfectly happy, thank you very much.* **Ryu:** Look at you, using your words like a functional adult. I'm tearing up.
**Pond:** Only took him trying to contract every disease known to man. **Pond:** At least it worked out!
Joong read over his shoulder and laughed. "They're never going to let you live this down."
"I know," Dunk sighed. Then he looked up at Joong, at his warm smile and fond eyes, and decided he didn't care.
He had what he wanted. Even if he'd gone about it in the most ridiculous way possible. His immune system could stay perfect. He didn't need to get sick anymore. He had Joong's care and attention anyway.
(Though he wouldn't say no to Joong's sick-care routine occasionally. Maybe he could fake a headache or two. Just for fun.
Joong seemed to read his mind and gave him a look.
"Don't even think about it."
"I wasn't thinking anything!"
"Dunk."
"...okay, maybe a little something."
Joong kissed him, effectively derailing any and all thoughts.
Yeah. This was way better than being sick.