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Murphy entered the throne room and stood for a minute by the doorway, watching Lexa pace backwards and forwards as she was so obviously plagued by her worries. Even alone and lost to her surroundings, Lexa held an awesome power about her. Perhaps it was after weeks of spending time at Polis and listening to how everyone revered the title of commander that he was beginning to see Lexa differently. It may even have been listening to Emori. She hated the authority of Polis for how they had treated those who were born with the marks of radiation and yet she spoke of Lexa with quiet regard, and now Murphy was beginning to realise just how capable a leader Lexa was. Clarke had met her match.
'Commander,' Murphy said, and Lexa looked startled, her green eyes wild as she was broken from whatever she was planning, 'you can't.'
Lexa's eyes instantly cold. She turned her body to him slightly, and rolled her shoulders back and looked upon him with a quiet challenge.
'You can't sabotage Clarke's duel. There is no way out of this. You have to let her fight.' Murphy said.
Lexa's regarded him with irritation. Murphy knew she would rise to any challenge to her authority, particularly when it concerned Clarke.
'I am Heda. These are my laws-'
'And you can't change them for one person.'
Murphy knew Lexa's silent retort; she already had. Jus drein jus daun had been changed because of Clarke - but this was different. Lexa couldn't elevate Clarke above the laws that dictated life on the ground. It wasn't only about Lexa's duty to her people, but such a move would inspire protests and rebellion. It would make Clarke a target and do the very opposite of protecting her. Everything would be in danger.
Lexa's eyes though, were clouded in conflict and Murphy knew well enough that she was trying to work out any way around this.
Lexa had not been happy with Clarke's insistence that he remain Flame Keeper, but Lexa had thawed slightly in recent days. Lexa had been lifted by her quiet joy at having Clarke with her in Polis, and having some sort of peace no matter how fragile all of their futures looked. There was some distraction that clouded both Clarke and Lexa but they shouldered it with ease and so Murphy had found Lexa committed to managing the clans, and determined to make even working with him as smooth as possible. After some time, Murphy and Lexa were beginning to understand one another and just how they could work together efficiently.
Yet, Murphy was sure that Clarke had more motives for asking him to stay on in this role than to just maintain the illusion of stability; Clarke knew he was a survivor through it all, and she wanted Lexa tied to someone with that talent. Typical Clarke, Murphy thought; always looking after everyone else. Well, he would do his duty now. She'd saved him enough times. He owed her, and Lexa wasn't too bad. Hell, she had been fairer to him than the hundred and the Arkers had ever been.
He considered Lexa closely, who gave not the slightest hint of weakness.
'I know you've lost before...'
He knew he was treading into dangerous ground and Lexa's eyes flashed menacingly at the words. The halls had been full of gossip when Clarke and Lexa had returned together and it didn't take Murphy long to find out Lexa's back-story. Almost everyone had lost someone on the ground.
'...You can't love someone without one of you dying at some point-'
'She will be forced to fight to the death against Bellamy.' Lexa hissed and Murphy had to fight a wince; sure he would prefer it if she had actually shouted.
'I know, and more importantly so does Clarke.' Murphy urged. 'She knows what she's doing. The reason you two work is because you let her be.'
'I won't let her die because of Octavia's revenge.'
'Octavia doesn't matter now. Clarke has accepted it.' Murphy said, his voice losing all patience. 'Did you let here stop you fighting Roan?'
Lexa's hand twitched in annoyance and Murphy knew she had more anger and frustration than she knew what to do with.
'You don't tell her what to do and then yell at her for being wrong like everyone else.' Murphy pressed. 'You're not one of them. You let her be and she loves you for that because that is exactly what she needs.'
Lexa looked away, her lips pressed tightly together and Murphy knew she was fighting tears.
'She needs you to let her do this. Let her do it alone, and then be there for her at the end because we both know that killing Bellamy will break her.' Murphy said.
'If she even survives...' Lexa said, still looking away, her voice cracking over the words.
'It's Clarke.' Murphy said, with a faint smile and he stepped forward. 'Of course, she will. She never stops.'
Lexa glanced warily at him as he stepped within a meter of her and her eyes narrowed suspiciously at his smile.
'You know I once had a knife to her throat?' Murphy said, giving a faint chuckle but Lexa's eyes quickly narrowed. 'Yeah...not my best day...but she had a knife to her throat and I would have killed her. The person I wanted in her place would have made the switch but Clarke told her not to do it. She stared death down that day and her voice didn't even shake.'
'You can't know how this will end.' Lexa replied, her voice quivering.
'I do,' Murphy reassured her, 'and so do you. When Clarke needs to find a way then she will find a way.'
Lexa mulled the words. Her jaw relaxed slightly but tears did fall. The Commander didn't even bother to brush them away.
'She's with him now. Telling him to fight.' Lexa said, resigned but Murphy was convinced he heard the faintest trace of pride in her voice.
'Of course she is. She needs everyone to be okay.' Murphy replied easily. 'Including you.'
Lexa nodded. Murphy knew that really, he wasn't needed,. Lexa simply needed time not to panic. She trusted Clarke too much. She respected her choices. She couldn't have her kidnapped this time and Lexa would never cross that line. Clarke was always free to make her choice once she knew the facts and Clarke knew exactly what she was walking into this time. She'd be stepping into an arena with a mob around, cheering for her to slaughter her friend, but Clarke and Bellamy had accepted it and now, so had Lexa.
He hadn't expected it to bother him but he'd been stunned when Octavia had announced that Wanheda would fight in her place against Bellamy. He could easily recall a time when they had first come to the ground and Bellamy and Clarke were at loggerheads. Bellamy had even planned hurt her if she stood in his way - but they had come so far and now it would end like this. He wished there was something he could do, but all there was that could be done was continuing in the role of Flame Keeper, a position he found faintly ridiculous. Clarke and Lexa were his allies now, and he felt bound to their fates too.
'I'm okay.' Lexa said quietly, breaking the silence. 'I'll wait for Clarke to return. Go and spend time with Emori.'
Murphy nodded and he walked back to the doors of the throne room. He turned when he reached the door and glanced back at the Commander. She was staring, with her back to him, facing the throne and Murphy wondered if she was questioning what it required to lead an whether the cost was worth it. Yet, Lexa did not need to do that alone. She did have Clarke, and he was certain that in a few hours Clarke would emerge victorious and together Wanheda and Heda would lead them to peace between the clans.