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A team runs up—
Hands on him—
The air is still hot and balmy and full of smoke—
“Tony, Tony—”
Next thing he knows he’s in the back of an ambulance. The sirens. He barely fits because he’s still in the suit.
Everything is—
Pepper is on the phone, and she glances at him and she must see his eyes are open because hers go wide.
“Rhodey, one second—Tony, we’re going to the hospital—your wing, no one will see you, it’ll be fine—”
“Peter…” Tony says, blinking at her.
“He’s meeting us there, he’s with Rhodey,” Pepper says, nodding at him. “Okay? Okay? Tony, you’re gonna be fine, you’re gonna be alright—”
“Reactor’s failing,” Tony breathes, fading again. “I need the one he—he took, unless—it’s incinerated, might be, didn’t look—great—”
“I know, Tony, I know, Rhodey told me that too—they’re trying to get it, they’re—”
Her voice is so beautiful, and it fades with the incoming darkness, and he should tell her more, he should tell all of them more how much he loves them, and how incredible they all are, how much they light up his life—
Darkness, and Peter running around the New York apartment and laughing, that little sing-song giggle, and he runs until the apartment morphs into the Malibu house, and he’s running and he’s laughing and he looks over his shoulder—
“Let me do it—Jesus, I wish Peter was here—”
“His child?”
“Yeah, he’s best at changing the reactors—don’t ask—”
And dark again, and this time he’s sitting at the dinner table with everyone, except his mother is there, and so is Mary. And Mary and Pepper are talking, except he can’t hear them, and Peter is running from person to person and giving them cups of sugar. He runs around to his grandma and whispers something, and then to his own mother, and Mary cups his face and kisses his cheek. Pepper smiles, watching them. Like a blessing.
“Daddy. Dad. Can you hear me? It’s Petey it’s your monkey.”
Okay. Eyes need to open immediately. Immediately as in right now.
“Dad,” Peter whispers.
Eyes open. Eyes open. Now now now.
“It’s okay, Pete, he’s okay. He’s just sleeping. He went through a lot he did—a big thing, and he’s exhausted and he’s got a lot of medicine in him.”
Okay but he’s absolutely ready to get up.
Even though his entire body feels like. A huge anvil. Impossible to move. And his eyelids are mini anvils and he’s awake but he’s not awake.
But he wants to see Peter. He wants to see him, he’s right there.
“Can I get up there with him?” Peter asks, gently, his tiny gentle voice.
“That’ll be fine, honey, just be careful,” a voice he doesn’t recognize says.
“I will,” Peter says, like he’s shocked that anybody would doubt his carefulness around his father.
Tony can hear the conversation grow distant, but he feels the bed dip beside him, and a familiar arm snakes around his middle.
“It’s okay you can sleep,” Peter says. “I will wait right here.”
Wake up wake up wake up wake up
And he tries to listen but he falls into darkness again, pinpricks darkness and shimmering and stinging, and he hears the things Obie said in the living room, but this time Obie falls into darkness, and his eyes are hollow, and the darkness eats him. Except he’s still there, in the shadows. Breathing, looming. This time Jarvis doesn’t cut off the workshop, and Obie’s shadow disappears down the stairs, and Peter screams—
And Tony sees the big suit Obie was wearing, and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger, and it grabs Peter and he disappears inside its hands—
Tony wakes up. His eyes snap open and the room is dark, and Pepper is asleep on the couch by the window, and Peter immediately sits up from his spot beside Tony.
His eyes are huge and he doesn’t smile right away and he looks nervous.
“Daddy,” he says. He shimmies up a little bit and braces one hand on Tony’s cheek, leans over him. “Dad are you okay are you in there?”
“Monkey,” Tony breathes, wrapping one arm around him. “I think so. Almost shook loose but I’m—I’m solid.” He winces a little bit, because he definitely has a headache. “What’s the situation?”
“Um okay,” Peter says. “First of all I love you.”
Tony snorts, and feels himself crying already. “I adore you,” he says, reaching up and running his knuckles along Peter’s cheek.
Peter smiles at him. “Everybody’s okay. Pepper here right here and Uncle Rhodey and Happy are outside and Uncle Ben and Auntie May are flying.”
“Okay good,” Tony says, and that always makes him happy.
“The doctors and people had to take your suit off you in pieces before I got here and they kinda messed it up I think, at least I think,” Peter says, sighing.
“Where are the pieces?” Tony asks, brows furrowed.
“In the corner,” Peter says. “Only three doctors saw you in it and Uncle Rhodey made them sign some papers.”
“Oh, the NDAs are out.”
“I don’t know what that is,” Peter says, shrugging.
“It’s okay,” Tony says. “Keep telling me.”
“And, um, what happened, well—when the big reactor exploded, you got tossed I guess? That’s what Jarvis said. And you had a bad concussion and some cuts and bruises and burns all around and they took um, the new reactor back—the one that was stolen—because the old one was failing after the fight. And Miss Pepper put it in and then Uncle Rhodey and I got here and then I laid here with you until you woke up which was right now. You’ve been here since um—hm—if I have been counting right since Uncle Rhodey talked to Miss Pepper on the phone, from when you got taken off the roof to now—is eleven hours.”
Tony stares at him, nodding. “Okay, okay.”
“How do you feel do you feel okay?” Peter asks. He scoots up and lays his head on Tony’s shoulder and blinks up at him.
Tony shifts a little bit so he can lay down and look at him at the same time. “I feel a little bit—spent, but I don’t feel bad, I feel alright. I feel alright.” He clears his throat. He definitely feels every little bit of being thrown around and nearly blown up and hit by a car and run over by a car and engulfed in flames. And whatever the hell else happened.
“Obie is gone gone,” Peter whispers. “And I’m not supposed to know that but I’m always listening.” He swallows and blinks at Tony. “I know that he was bad but I know also that you knew him for a very long time and it was bad for you with all this stuff so. I know you might be happy and sad at the same time. I know you don’t really wanna kill anybody even if they’re evil. So yeah I don’t know I don’t want you to be sad. I’m sorry Dad I’m sorry for whatever you feel.”
Tony brushes his hair back. “Did you know that you’re too smart?”
Peter nods at him. “Yes I did know.”
Tony doesn’t want to say that he did wanna kill Obie. He wasn’t intending on it, exactly, but it wasn’t off the table, because the things he’s done and the things he said, the things he was willing to do, the things he was planning to do…he was never the person Tony thought he was. Not even the person Howard thought he was. And he was a threat to everybody Tony loves. He was a threat to Peter.
“You’re safe,” Tony says. “Everybody’s safe, and I’m alive and I’m okay. That’s all that matters.”
Peter nods at him.
“And we’re gonna need to—do some suit upgrades, replacements—”
“Yeah helmet got crunched,” Peter says. “Glad your head wasn’t in it.” He says it like a joke but he’s got that little pout on. Tony is about to say something when Peter keeps talking. “The news is saying all kinds of stuff about you. Well. About ‘Iron Man’.”
Tony perks up. “That’s what they’re calling—that’s what they’re calling him? Me? Us?”
“Yes,” Peter whispers. “Nobody knows what happened or who you were and they’re all just guessing and stuff. Miss Pepper said that we will have to do a press conference once you’re on your feet again so maybe you should keep laying down.”
Tony snorts, and he sighs, and tries to process everything. It feels so quiet but there’s so much going on, loud and wild inside his head, and he doesn’t know where to start, or how to move on.
He isn’t upset about losing Obie. Obie let himself go, he cut himself off by being a fucking snake in the grass, he erased everything he ever was or ever might have been the second he tried to kill Peter, the second he killed Mary. And then he just kept hurting and hurting, his soul getting darker and more twisted with every passing year.
And as happy as Tony is that May is coming here to see him, he knows he has to tell her. He has to tell her, and it’s his fault, because he’s the one who didn’t know, he’s the one that let Obie into his family, he’s the one that almost got his baby killed, he’s the one that got May’s sister taken from her.
It’s his fault.
“No brain,” Peter whispers. “You already rattled your brain too much so don’t think too hard or it could explode.” He scoots in and tucks his head under Tony’s chin and clutches at his shoulders. “Iron Man.”
Tony smiles, cuddling him. “I never really thought about, naming myself anything.”
“Yes you did.”
Tony snorts again. “Well. I didn’t come up with anything.”
“It’s a good name.”
“I was thinking like—Peter’s Armored Dad, something like that—”
Peter giggles, hugging him tighter. “I like it but it doesn’t have a good ring to it that you can like say it easily all the time. But I do like it.”
Tony sighs, ruffling his hair. “Did they say how long they want me to stay here?”
“They said once you woke up that they would make an assessment.”
“Oh, an assessment.”
“Assessing.”
“Mr. Vocabulary.”
Peter hums to himself, and Pepper lets out a huge snore before she quickly wakes herself up.
“Oh my God,” Pepper breathes, and he watches her wipe at her eyes and immediately zero in on him.
“Hey,” Tony says, smiling softly at her.
“Dad’s awake,” Peter says, looking over his shoulder. “And he’s okay so—okay one night sleep here and then home. Because we don’t like hospitals.”
“He said it,” Tony says.
“Okay,” Pepper says, sitting up on the couch and pressing her fingers to her temples. “Okay.”
“Pepper, I’m assuming it’s like, really late—”
She glances at her watch. “A little after four am,” she says.
“Okay so, I’m gonna—Petey and I are gonna sleep, and then when we wake up at a normal time, doctors can check me out, give me the go-ahead to get out of here, and then we can start thinking about the press conference and stuff.”
“They’re doing a lot of talking,” she says, shaking her head. “They.”
“Then let them talk,” Tony says, shaking his right back. “They don’t need to get answers immediately. This isn’t something they’re directly involved in—”
“The fight blew out into the street, Tony, so technically the public is involved—”
“Sometimes things happen,” Petey says, yawning. “So they can wait. People have to wait for stuff it’s called patience.”
“Exactly,” Tony says, laughing, rubbing his shoulder. “So just—go use that second bed over there, it’s unoccupied, rest, wake up when we wake up and then we can start to move forward.”
She signs, yawning too, because Petey keeps yawning. “You don’t find it—urgent, you don’t think it’s urgent to—to sway the public opinion in the direction that you—”
“Right now, no, I don’t find it urgent,” Tony says, glancing down to see Peter’s eyes are already falling closed. “Hit the lights, huh? I’m no longer a coma risk, don’t gotta—keep an eye—”
“Okay,” she breathes. “I’m following your lead.”
“Good,” Tony says, watching her walk over to the light switch. “Vacation imminent.”
“Uh huh,” she says, clicking off the light. She stands there by the wall for a second, illuminated by the light from the hallway just ever so slightly. “Glad you’re alive,” she says. “You know I didn’t like to—press that button knowing you were still up there.”
“I know,” he says, his heart jolting a bit. “Thank you for doing it.”
“I’ll be back in a little bit,” she says, opening the door, blowing past the loaded moment. “You two go to sleep. I wanna tell Happy and Rhodey you’re alright and check on Ben and May’s flight.”
“Okay,” Tony says, watching her walk out. “But come back!”
“I will,” she whispers.
She shuts the door quietly and Tony turns back to Peter, whose breath has already started evening out.
Everything has been so insane lately and yesterday it all came to a head and he still can’t quite believe any of it happened. He can’t believe Obie is gone, he can’t believe he was what he was and he did what he did, and he put Peter into such outrageous danger, on purpose. He wanted to hurt him, and he was talking about choking the life out of him and Tony has never felt more fucking ill. It’s crippling, to even know what he’s done, what he was capable of, and imagining Peter in pain, imagining it—
Going insane, going a little bit insane—
“Hey,” Tony whispers, brushing Peter’s hair back. “Little bug.”
“Not sleep,” Pete whispers, eyes closed. “Not yet anyway but soon so. Yes.”
Tony thinks about saying something stupid. Like have you ever wished that I wasn’t your father. Have you ever regretted that it’s just me? But he doesn’t, because it’s insulting, and it would piss Peter off. Peter hardly ever gets really angry, but Tony knows that would do it, because he loves him so much and they love each other so the worry is pointless to think, let alone voice.
“I just want to tell you that—I’m so grateful for you,” Tony says, choking up. He leans in and presses a long kiss to Peter’s forehead. “So happy that you’re mine.”
Peter hums a little bit. “Happy you’re mine too even though you’re the craziest and most crazy in the whole wide world.”
Tony snorts, kissing the top of his head. “I think that’s you.”
“Both of us at one time the most crazy and everybody is like why are they so crazy,” Peter says, cuddling closer again.
“Just—thank you for sticking with me,” Tony says, holding onto him. “Even though you’re—seven years old and you can’t get an apartment yet.”
Peter snort-laughs into Tony’s neck. “Even if I could I would not.”
“Good,” Tony says, trying not to cry, trying not to think about what Obie said or did. It’s in the past. “Good,” he says again. “You stay with me.”
“I stay with you. And we’re gonna make a new suit. Because yours is busted.”
Tony smiles. “Uh, yeah. That’s first on the list.”
~
Tony wakes up the next morning to Rhodey and Happy and Pepper all hovering over him, Peter still sawing logs in his arms. The doctors check him out, reiterate the fact that they aren’t going to pass on the information, and they clear him to leave.
He still feels like he’s half inside his life and half outside of it, and he needs to lock himself back in, but he doesn’t know how. What would do it? What helps him move past this?
He’s signing some shit at the desk when they’re trying to leave, and Peter’s hand slips from his.
“Monkey,” Tony says, glancing up to see where he’s gone.
“Oh,” Peter says, and he quickly rushes back and takes Tony’s hand again.
“Two seconds, Petey,” Tony says. “I wanna rush out too.”
Pepper and Rhodey are downstairs with the car, and Happy was tasked with getting the suit down there without anybody seeing it. Thankfully, the paparazzi haven’t found out that they’re here, and Tony hopes they get to keep it that way.
“I just heard something I thought was Auntie May yelling, maybe,” Petey says, squeezing Tony’s hand, and holding it with his other hand too. “Maybe. Or maybe in my brain but in my brain she isn’t yelling unless she’s singing.”
Tony looks up and peers around the way Peter had started to walk, and he listens hard and yeah, he hears it too. He hears them talking.
He smiles to himself, and signs the last sheet before he pushes it back over the desk. “You’re right, baby bear,” Tony says, snorting. “You’ve got good hearing. Or you’re just in tune to crazy auntie radio.”
“Are you sure you don’t need to be in the wheelchair, Mr. Stark?” the nurse asks him. Tony knows it’s normally a rule, but thankfully, Pepper spoke to these people for…a long time.
“I’ll be fine on my feet,” he says, smiling at her, and he can hear May and Ben getting closer. Tony holds onto Peter’s hand and directs them that way, and their voices get closer and closer until they bust out of the stairwell like someone is coming after them.
“We could have gone over there, I don’t know how many times you want me to say it,” May says. “It just would have been a little bit more of a walk.”
“Honey, I’m fine, I’m not the one that’s saying anything—”
“You don’t have to say anything, Ben, I know your expressions, I know what that face means—”
“What face? Surely not this face.”
“Ben.”
Peter hops up and down on his little feet in excitement, squeezing Tony’s hand, and Tony grins too. He’s only weighted down by a few tons of existential guilt, and he tries to get out from under it.
They’re both holding huge bouquets of sunflowers that nearly eclipse their faces, and Tony’s heart aches with how he wishes they were down the street from him again.
His fault, his fault, as per usual, but don’t think about that, don’t think about that right now—
“Well well well, look who it is,” Tony says.
“It’s them!” Peter yells, giggling.
They both pop out from behind their flowers, eyes wide.
“Pepper said you’d still be in the room!” May says.
“We escaped,” Peter says, and he lets go of Tony’s hand when they’re just a couple feet away so he can run to them, and Ben bends down to greet him.
“Hi monkey man,” Ben says, and Peter gets completely caught up in the flowers when Ben moves in to kiss him.
“Hey you,” May says to Tony, with all that concern in her eyes, and Tony’s stomach drops like a stone. She wraps her arms around him and the flowers brush against the back of his neck.
“Now how’d you remember my favorite flower?” he asks, holding her close.
“Because we messaged Petey on his emergency phone and asked him,” May says, kissing Tony’s cheek.
“Now you outed both us and Petey monkey for conspiracy,” Ben says, groaning a bit as he lifts Peter up, holding him with one arm and the giant sunflower bouquet with the other.
May can’t help it, clearly, and she beams over at him before she looks at Tony again. She brushes her thumb over the couple bandages on his face, clicking her tongue. “How are you, honey?” she asks.
He wonders if she knows everything, he wonders what Pepper and Rhodey told them. But the middle of the hospital hallway isn’t the place to get into it. He’s gotta plan for—next steps.
“Oh, you know,” Tony says, moving into a very flower-filled hug with Ben, complimented by Peter’s giggling. “Just another day.”
“Well, you’ve got us for the weekend,” Ben says. “And Monday, before we gotta go back. I think that’s what we said…I’m not sure how the flights shook out. But we can help however you need it.”
“You guys help just by being here,” Tony says before he even means to, and they both smile warmly at him.
“Time to go no more hospital,” Peter says, hugging Ben.
“Well, that elevator is being worked on behind us,” May says, already surging past them. “So let’s go to the next one that Ben passed by because he wanted a mini workout—”
Ben grins over at Tony as they follow her. “Missed you,” he says.
“Missed you too, even though we talk every day,” Tony says. “Your physical presence is not to be underestimated. And the sheer amount of flowers.”
“I like them I want some of them in my room,” Peter says, little hand hovering delicately over petals.
“That can be arranged,” Ben says.
~
Tony has a full house again. The paparazzi don’t seem like they’re wise to the fact that he was in the hospital, and nobody has any idea that he’s Iron Man, at all. He takes a look at all the chatter and people think it was a pair of robots, think it was a security guy in a suit, think it’s something remote controlled…the real story isn’t in there anywhere.
“We’re going with the security guard in a suit option,” Pepper says, at the table over lunch.
“And what was he, uh—what was he securitying?” Ben asks, and Peter giggles.
“We’re going to say that the Iron Monger—”
Tony gags, narrowing his eyes.
“Was he calling it that?” May asks.
“It was in his specs,” Rhodey says, eating a French fry. “Which makes it kind of strange that the public also moved to—Iron Man.”
Pepper sighs, and Peter’s got that look on his face like he’s still listening to everything very intently.
“We’re going to say that the Iron Monger was an out of control invention—”
“Not…super my favorite,” Tony says, wincing. “Considering that I’m trying to move Stark out of the weapons dark ages and into the inventions new ages and I don’t want people to think my inventions are moving back into weapons territory—”
“Well, maybe we can say someone highjacked it,” she says, leaning back in her seat. “I don’t know. We’re still workshopping it with Coulson. That’s the government guy,” she says, looking at Ben and May.
“That also sort of sounds like…they’re easily highjackable,” Tony says, clicking his tongue.
“We’ll figure out the right thing to say,” Pepper says.
Happy walks back in from the kitchen. “Just put those bake and break cookies in the oven.”
Peter gasps, looking at him.
Ben laughs, big and bellowing, and Tony watches everyone smile whether they want to or not.
“What?” Happy asks, sitting back down. “It felt right.”
They all start sort of chatting amongst themselves then, and that’s Tony’s favorite thing, watching them all co-exist, watching them live and laugh and smile and talk. But he’s thinking about this damn press conference tomorrow, where he has to lie, where he has to pass off his suit as something that’s not him, and then every goddamn time he wants to go do something, what the hell is he gonna say? Is it a security guy every single time? How would that work? Why would that be the case?
And he’s looking at Ben and May, and especially May, and thinking about what he brought to their doorstep.
He needs to say something. He doesn’t know when or how and it makes him feel like he needs to throw up whenever he starts to plan it in his head.
~
And he doesn’t know why he goes insane when he finds Ben in the kitchen that night, when he leaves the bedroom to get Peter his Powerade.
“You midnight snacking it too?” Ben asks, raising his eyebrows at him. “Mr. Iron Man, sir?”
“Baby head is asking for some electrolytes,” Tony says, and his mouth is dry. They pass each other on the way to the fridge.
“The sheer amount of Powerade you’ve got,” Ben laughs. “Could probably keep him in electrolytes for the next—”
“Ben,” Tony says, cutting him off. He doesn’t know where the fuck his brain is, but it’s running without him.
And he said Ben’s name in that fucking tone that means he needs help, and Ben turns around, his eyebrows furrowed.
“You alright?” Ben asks.
“I need to tell you something,” Tony says, leaning against the fridge, and he’s just talking and he doesn’t know if he wants to be talking but he’s already saying it, he’s already saying it. And Ben looks concerned now, stepping closer and putting his yogurt on the counter.
“What is it?”
“I need you to not tell May,” Tony says. He swallows hard. “I mean. Not yet. I’m gonna—I will—”
“Tell me what it is,” Ben says, level-headed, as always. “I’m listening, alright?”
Tony doesn’t know why the hell he started this because he doesn’t know if he’s ready but he will probably never be properly ready because the whole thing is like mold growing inside of him, and he keeps having these kitchen conversations with Ben, it’s like their place, and maybe that’s why he just starts talking here, because he’s used to it—
“Tony—”
“Obie was the reason for every single horrible situation we’ve been put into,” Tony says, shaking his head at him. “My kidnapping, Peter’s kidnapping, you getting poisoned at the gala, and—and, and…the car accident that…” He lowers his voice and looks down at his feet, the whole world tilting around him. “The car accident that took Mary. That was him, he orchestrated all of it, and Peter was even meant to be in the car and it was just—fate, luck, that he wasn’t—”
Tony starts to feel like he’s gonna pass out when he so much as thinks of the baby dying back then, the baby that’s his baby now and was then but he’s his little best friend now, the light of his life and his North Star, the beginning and the end and everything in between. Tears sting in his eyes and he realizes Ben hasn’t said anything.
“And it’s my fault that it all happened, my fault that—all that—and she’s gone, and that’s because of me—”
“No,” Ben croaks. “No, that isn’t—that isn’t true.”
“Obie was in her life because of me, I brought him into her life and he stole it—”
“Tony,” Ben says, and he steps a little closer to him, and he looks lost and he never looks lost. “That’s—listen, I—this is throwing me, a little bit—”
“I know,” Tony says, his face burning. “I shouldn’t have, but I just haven’t—”
“No, I just—you know I want you to talk to me, but I’m just—it’s almost like something I knew, in the back of my mind, but didn’t know, and it’s still…it’s still something to hear it…” He clears his throat and Tony can tell he’s trying to recenter himself. “But it isn’t your fault. I promise you that. I’m not just saying it, alright? I mean it. He’s—you’re a victim of that man too. You didn’t push his choices, he was…a lunatic, and a snake in the grass, and you can’t—you can’t blame yourself for his choices, ever—I know you never would have chosen any of that. Ever. I know you wouldn’t.”
“Of course not,” Tony says, his back cold against the fridge. “But the fact that I—if she hadn’t ever met me, and by extension my fucking baggage with this murderous asshole—”
“Hey,” Ben says, and Tony looks up at him. “No you, no Peter. So don’t do that. And we love you, Tony, alright? This isn’t—it’s not on you. I understand why you’re—why you’re drowning in it, and I would too, but I’m your lifeline, alright? And I can be there when you tell her, if you want. It’ll be hard, but it won’t be hard in the way you think, she’s—that’s your sister, huh? You know that. She’d never, ever blame you.” Ben squeezes his shoulder, rubbing his arm up and down. “He’s—he was a prick, and I’m not the type to say I’m glad someone’s gone, but I’m—I’m glad he’s gone. And I’m glad you’re here, grateful, always, alright? And thank you for—for—trusting me. It’s hard not to tell that woman everything, but I’ll hold onto it for you.”
Tony blows out a breath. “Thank you,” he says.
“Don’t let it grow in your head like this, alright? Don’t let it get twisted into something it’s not. And you’ve got the press conference tomorrow, so you gotta focus on that.”
Tony nods, a lump in his throat, and he feels a little better, but not all the way, not yet. He doesn’t know if he ever will, about this, but definitely not until he tells her. Ben steps in and gives him one of his patented Ben hugs, which always make Tony wonder how the hell he ever lived his life without these people.
He pulls back, patting Tony’s cheek. “Moving forward now, away from him,” Ben says. “We’re safer now, we all are—and that is because of you.”
~
Tony opens the door and expects that Peter might be asleep, since he was gone longer than expected, but he shifts in the bed and blinks up at him. He yawns all big as Tony closes the door behind him.
“Monkey butt why are you still awake?” Tony whispers.
“Because monkey brain needs grape taste,” Peter says, and he makes grabby hands in Tony’s direction.
Tony snorts, and gives him one of the bottles, putting the other one on the bedside table. He crawls back into bed and under the covers as Peter chugs the Powerade, and Tony shakes his head at him.
“You’re gonna have to get up to pee a hundred times,” Tony says, leaning back against the pillow and closing his eyes.
“Maybe one hundred and seventeen,” Peter says. Tony can hear him toss the bottle into the trash can, and then he cuddles up next to him and sighs. “I know I’m gonna have to start sleeping in my own room again.”
Tony pops one eye open. “What makes you think of that?”
“Well you’re a grown person and I’m also a grown person—”
Tony snorts again.
“And I know that I should probably sleep in my own room and give you your space you know because I am seven.”
Tony draws him closer, his heart burning a little bit. “I don’t need space from my monkey,” he says, ruffling Peter’s hair. “You can sleep in here til you’re thirty seven.”
“That’s a long time I’ll be huge I’ll take up the entire bed.”
“Bigger bed then,” Tony says, kissing the top of his head. “Bed that takes up the whole room and all we’ll do is sleep forever.”
“No we need to be active!” Peter says, but he’s starting to sound sleepy again.
Tony smiles, and he tries not to think too much. He’s got a lot of things to think about but he doesn’t want to think about any of them. Only this, only the people under his roof.
“But I’ll start sleeping back in my bed soon because I should okay even if neither one of us want me to,” Peter says, resting his head on Tony’s chest. “And I can always come back in here if I have a nightmare or something or if one of us wants company.”
“Of course,” Tony says. He cracks his neck. “I’ll just bring your baby bassinet back in here and you can sleep in that.”
Peter laughs, patting his arm. “So crazy I’m too gigantic. I’m seven years old I’m an adult.”
“You’re right,” Tony says, squeezing him, trying to live in the moment. “You’re right, huge smarty.”
“I love you,” Peter whispers. “Biggest promise.”
“I love you too, Petey,” Tony says, closing his eyes and trying to sleep. “More than anything.”
~
The two of them head down into the workshop early the next morning, and Tony whips up another arc reactor, because it feels sort of weird to keep using the one that Obie stole from him and then died using. Tony doesn’t even know if it’s long-term viable anymore, but it only takes him about an hour to make a new one, especially with Peter’s helping hands.
Everyone rolls out to head to Stark campus for the press conference, and Tony keeps looking at May and worrying about what he’s keeping under the surface. He feels a little better after speaking to Ben, and he can tell the man is trying to reassure him with little looks and comments, but it’s still eating at him.
He’s gotta figure out when. He’s gotta figure out how.
“I like it when we all go together to these things,” May says, glancing around the car at all of them. “Feels like we’re an army.”
Happy’s driving, Rhodey’s in the passenger seat, May and Ben are in the middle and Tony, Pepper and Peter are in the back. His favorite car setup.
“You better have your swords ready,” Tony says, watching as Ben rubs May’s shoulder. “Might need ‘em.”
“I’ll charm ‘em all with my very funny and not at all outdated jokes,” Ben says, smirking back at Peter.
“Not the one about the ducks and the spaceship,” Peter says, already giggling.
“It’ll be blinding,” Ben says. “They won’t know what to do with themselves. Attacks dodged.”
“He can go on for hours,” May says.
“We all know,” Rhodey says, glancing back at them in his mirror.
Pepper reaches back, around Peter between them, and runs her fingers through Tony’s hair.
~
They meet up with Coulson behind the conference room, and Tony tries to get his story straight. It’s a story that isn’t his and one that doesn’t sit right with him, but they all seem to be—sure of it, so he tries to go along with it.
“They’ll believe it,” Coulson says. “And they’ll believe the downed plane story about Stane, as well.”
Tony clears his throat. He doesn’t know how he feels about that, either.
“I’m glad we’re finally touching base formally, Mr. Stark,” Coulson says. “But I assure you, I don’t need to impose on a family dinner—”
“Much easier that way,” Tony says, shaking his head. “And—”
“And I can talk when he doesn’t wanna talk because I know everything and sometimes emotions happen so I can talk and also everybody else, so you will get all the information all of it!” Peter grins up at him, hopping up and down a bit.
“Well, I’ll have to bring more than one notebook,” Coulson says, and he smiles warmly.
“I’ve got a million and a lot of them have stars on them and I’m willing to share,” Peter says, nodding all serious. “And I know you’re gonna record everything too for the record and I also have batteries. I have stickers too. For important things and notes.”
“You’re very prepared,” Coulson says.
“Ah huh,” Peter says, grinning at him.
Coulson looks back at Tony again. “I’ll see you out there, Mr. Stark,” he says. “And SHIELD will be at your disposal after this.”
“SHIELD?” Tony asks, looking down at Peter. “That’s a lot better than the former mouthful.”
“It has a history,” Coulson says. “Felt like the right time to bring it back.” He walks away then, and as soon as he turns the corner, Peter squeezes Tony’s hand.
“I like him,” he says.
“Yeah,” Tony says. “You’ve got good judgment.”
“Do you want us to walk out there with you, Tony?” May asks, tugging Ben over to them. “Keep up the army brigade, like we do? Because Happy is anxious to get us out there, as if someone is gonna take our seats, as if I would allow that—”
“And then that’ll be the story and not anything else,” Ben says, ruffling Peter’s hair.
“You can go ahead,” Tony says, grabbing his water bottle from behind him and quickly taking a drink.
“Uncle Rhodey is already there,” Peter says. “And there are plenty of paparazzi for you to fight Auntie May even if you just want to just for fun.”
Tony nearly chokes.
“You’re a little devil, you know that,” May says, laughing. She leans down and kisses his head, then she pats Tony’s cheek. “Alright, we’ll go out there.”
“Just message us if you need anything,” Ben says, patting Tony’s arm. “We’ll wheel back around.”
“I will,” Tony says, because he’s half inside his head now, not being sure about what he’s gonna say and all this. And he watches them leave and he hears a bit of a high pitched noise in his ears, and he’s alone with Peter and Pepper.
Pepper comes at him with her concealer.
“Okay,” he says, after about a second or two of wincing.
“Add some blush,” Peter says.
Pepper snorts. “How about some lipstick? I just got a really nice new shade—”
“Listen, this isn’t the event for experiments,” Tony says, opening his eyes and watching as she snaps the concealer closed. “That’s—that’s your elementary school graduation. I will be wearing purple lipstick for that. And the—volumizing mascara.” He raises his eyebrows at Peter.
Peter giggles.
Tony clears his throat and looks at the two of them, and they fall into a comfortable silence, full of consideration, his thoughts slowing down and becoming clearer.
“We are proud of you no matter what you decide to do because we trust you,” Peter says, and he reaches out and takes Pepper’s hand too. “Right? Because we can tell he’s in his brain right being unsure with the decisions and what to say.”
Pepper nods down at Peter, swallowing hard, and she looks up and nods at Tony too. “He’s right,” she says. “You’re, you’re—Tony, whatever you decide, that’s—that’s the right thing. You’ve done something really—really important, something that can make a difference and only—only you know how to move forward with that. How to handle it best, what would help it reach the most people in order to make their lives easier and better,” she says, swallowing hard again and nodding. She keeps nodding. Tears shine in her eyes.
“And we will support whatever you say okay me and Miss Pepper,” Peter says. “We will. Because you are Iron Man and he’s your story and we love him and you and your story and we trust you totally.”
“We do,” Pepper says, and maybe in another life that would have felt shocking, coming from her.
He looks back and forth between the two of them. And something opens up inside his head and there’s a rushing of wind and a tornado of memories and something new bringing brightness in.
“Okay,” he whispers, squeezing Peter’s hand, and grabbing Pepper’s too. “Okay.”
~
He stands up there in front of everyone, making his speech. He’s got Coulson’s cards in his hands, the false story written out in bold type, so he can’t mistake any of the words. Rhodey is beside him on one side, and Peter on the other, because he’s a stubborn little thing who refused to sit in the audience. Pepper, May, Ben, and Happy are in the front row, Happy standing and hovering by Peter’s empty seat like he will tackle any threat that so much as thinks about making a move in this room.
And Tony is on the edge of something.
On the in-between of now and after, a decision that will change everything, that will open up a new course in his life, and he remembers when he held Peter for the first time. He remembers what that felt like, feeling a new road sprout up in front of him, lined with sunflowers and calm wind and an exciting, clear way forward.
That happens now. In a different way, with a different type of importance.
“And I know that—the story was wild, and it’s been—on all your minds, and I’m finally up here in front of you with an explanation and you’re all—anticipating, and all your readers and watchers etc are—you know, reading and watching and listening, and I just, well…” He tilts his head to the side. “The truth is—”
He looks down at Peter, who smiles warmly at him.
He remembers what he said.
Tony feels solid in it, then. The truth washes over him and he chooses it.
He looks out at the rest of them and the new road opening up in front of him, and he reaches out and finds Peter’s hand. Tiny fingers close around his.
Tony says it. He says it so he can’t take it back.
It’s true, anyway. Why shouldn’t they know it?
“I am Iron Man.”
The room erupts, and he stands and lets it, and Peter hops twice and holds Tony’s hand with both of his own, shuffling closer to him.
Tony looks down at him, and is rewarded with a smile so bright that he can scarcely match it.
But he tries, and the cameras flash like lightning.