Chapter Text
The warm glow of street lanterns amidst the night sky provided a welcome distraction from the weighing ache in her muscles. Defeating Dottore was no easy task – as The Second of the Fatui Harbingers, he was bound to be a formidable adversary, though even she underestimated the toll it would take on her health.
Riding on the back of a merchant's wagon was a less than ideal way to travel, if not a little humiliating, but it beat walking the entire journey from Nod Krai to Liyue on foot. Meeting this old merchant in Natlan was a stroke of luck she hadn’t anticipated, and after hearing he was on the way to Mingyun Village to deliver Natlanese spices, she asked if he would take her part way in exchange for protection along the road. He quickly agreed, gushing to his fellow companions about how he was getting to travel with the legendary Tumaini. Due to this excessive gushing, she was considerably less excited than he, hoping to the Archons that their journey wouldn’t consist of him making her recount her many travels – as so many had made her do before. Thankfully though, he kept mostly to himself, other than some small talk every now and then, which she truthfully didn't mind – it was a way to keep the exhaustion from consuming her and forcing her into slumber, she had a job to do after all.
Without the merchant's help, she wasn’t sure she could actually make the journey back to Liyue, and little kept her from returning for Lantern Rite every year. It’s her favourite of all the Teyvat holidays – the dazzling festival lights and the hearty feasts always providing a well-needed sense of belonging in a planet so different from her own.
Shutting her eyes, she slowly shifted to settle back against the surrounding wooden crates, her sword resting on her lap, within reach if necessary – the throbbing beneath her skin a welcome way distraction from reminiscing too much on her own world, from reminiscing too much on Aether…
The sudden stop of the wagon caused her attention to shift. Opening her eyes and lifting her head in confusion, she turned to face the merchant – who was already looking back at her with an amused smile on his face.
“Well Miss Tumaini, this is as far as I can take you, pleasure to have your company! Journeys like these can get pretty lonely when it's just me and the cargo.” With a wry laugh, he smiled down at her – the warm light of the street lanterns making him look older than she initially assumed. “Wangshi Inn is up the North path – not a long walk, I’ll be off to the East.”
Sitting up with a stifled groan (totally not because she was about to fall asleep), she smiled back. “Thanks for taking me so far, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
She slid off the back of the wagon, grabbing her sword off her lap as she did so, the weight of her exhaustion suddenly tripling when forced to stand. With heavy legs, she walked around to the front of the wagon, “Are you sure you don’t want payment for this? I have enough mora to spare, if that's your concern.”
With a hearty laugh, typical of a man his age, he responded, “Archons, no! Getting to travel with you was payment enough, Tumaini. It was the least I could do in return for everything you’ve done for Natlan. Ah– and if you need a ride back to Natlan, I’ll be returning in one moons time – so come find me!”
She chuckled in response, “Thank you, but I’m okay – I’ll be staying here over Lantern Rite, actually”
“Ahh it’s that time of year already, is it? Happy Lantern Rite to you, Tumaini! May the new year bring you some much needed rest.” He smiles at her the way a grandpa would to their grandchild, with a tender and almost paternal care.
She waved to him – smiling wide, “Happy Lantern Rite to you too, Mr Ruta!” To which he wavered back, setting off towards the East.
Turning around, she continued North – the sound of the trundling wagon wheels gradually dimming, and allowing for a soft silence to settle in its place. Every movement took increasingly more energy, her feet like anchors holding her legs to the ground. The continuous lack of sleep and overexertion she suffered in Nod Krai all crashing down on her like a suffocating tide.
Liyue always seemed to have this effect on her – forcing her suppressed exhaustion to the surface. In one way, she cherished it, knowing she felt safe enough in Liyue to relax, but in another she resented it, her bursts of exhaustion always coming at the most inconvenient of times.
And this time, seemingly, was no exception.
An arrow flew down and wedged itself in the ground by her feet, missing her only by a meter or so. She let out a small, petulant huff, matched with a slight frown – this world made a mission of testing her resolve. As she turned around, sword at the ready, a flash of blue light appeared from behind her – one she recognised with intimate familiarity.
Before even seeing him, her frown morphed into a soft smile, and she murmured, “Xiao,” in fond recognition.
And as the light dissipated, there he stood, a hilichurl bow on the floor next to him – and said hillichurl nowhere to be seen, slain by the mighty Alatus.
Though his face remained impassive, that same fondness was reflected in his gaze, as he looked down at her – arms crossed below his chest.
“You should know better than to walk alone at night, when you’re so clearly exhausted.” Though his words were a reprimand, softness coated them like the moonlight's glow.
Her smile became almost tender, as did her voice – a familiar warmth blooming in her heart as she responded, “It’s nice to see you too, Xiao.”
He makes a quiet grunting noise in response, a familiar noise he makes when unsure of what to say. In another flash of blue light, he came to stand in front of her – close enough to see the faint darkness beneath her eyes, and frowned.
She noticed his gaze and sighed, looking away. “Don’t give me that look, it’s not that bad.. I’ve just,” she pauses – weighing her words, “been busy.”
“Too busy,” he mumbled under his breath, the frown on his face growing tighter, “you need rest.” While speaking, his hand moved to hold her wrist, a surprisingly gentle grip compared to what most would expect from him, and teleported them inside of Wangshu Inn – preferring Lumine to be out of the dark before she collapsed into a heap.
“Woah!” She stumbled, and his grip tightened a fraction – only enough to keep her from falling, and not nearly enough to hurt. Once they were teleported, he tilted his head, looking sideways at her with quiet concern in his eyes, though his expression remained impassive.
“I’m alright,” she smiled at him, a little embarrassed, “but thank you.”
He just nodded in response, then after a moment realised he was still holding onto her wrist and let go – crossing his arms below his chest, his usual stance to feign indifference. She nodded back with a shy smile, and crossed the room toward Verr Goldett - the owner of Wangshu Inn, who is always on the desk – a well known face for both Xiao and Lumine.
“Hello! Oh! A returning customer, welcome back.” Verr greeted Lumine, accompanied by a wave and polite smile, then glanced across the room at Xiao – her expression shifting to more of a cheeky smirk. He returned the eye contact, then quickly looks away with his usual indifferent expression, though his eyes betray a hint of embarrassment beneath.
“Verr, hello!” Lumine greeted her back with a kind smile, “Have you got any rooms available?”
Verr’s smile morphed into something a little more pitying, “Ah, no, I’m afraid we don’t – you know how busy Lantern Rite can get.”
Lumine let out a tired sigh, and pursed her lips, “Yeah, right.” She totally should’ve expected this, the lack of thought proving just how exhausted she is. What else would be open… the Baiju Guesthouse? No chance, not this close to lantern rite. Perhaps she could stay in her teapot? Only she would then have to find somewhere safe to store it, which is a hassle in itself – not to mention how uncomfortable it is in there. Her and paimon haven’t finished furnishing it yet, and she's not even sure there’s a bed there anyway.
“It’s alright then, thank you anyway!” She smiled and turned back towards Xiao, walking over to him. Once she reached him, she lets out a large sigh and frowns, “There aren’t any free rooms.”
Xiao hummed in response, fingers tapping on his arms in silent debate – then he finally spoke, surprisingly timid for such a mighty adeptus, “You could take my room.”
She blinked in surprise, shaking her head excessively, “No way, I can’t do that – where will you sleep? I can just– sleep in my teapot, seriously it's fine.”
Sighing in exasperation – albeit fond exasperation – Xiao responded, “We adepti do not need the sleep you humans do, take my room. I will be fine.” He then paused, and corrected himself, “Though you may not be an… ordinary mortal human, sleep is still necessary for your body and mind. You will have my room.”
His words left little room for protest, though the idea of kicking him out of *his own room* made her understandably uncomfortable, “You need sleep too, Xiao. I really do appreciate the offer but I can’t just kick you out of your own room because I’m tired. Is there enough room for both of us to fit? I don’t mind sleeping on a sofa, or the floor.”
“You will be doing no such thing.” He responded instantly, leveling her with a look that dared her to contend, and huffing in annoyance. “I suppose we can make room for us both,” he conceded, gesturing with a tilt of his head for her to follow as he strode up the winding stairs towards his room.
She followed quickly behind, never having actually been in Xiao’s room before. They ascended the stairs in silence, only pausing once they reached the highest floor – where Xiao stopped to unlock his room and hold the door open for her, ever the gentleman. She mumbled a thanks as she stepped through, her eyes taking in the small, yet mysterious room before her.
Dark, wooden beams framed the walls and ceiling, supporting hanging lanterns – which cast a warm, homely glow across the room. To the left, his double bed was neatly arranged and covered by a large, black blanket; surprisingly fluffy for such a supposedly fierce adeptus. An unlit fireplace was built into the wall next to his bed, containing a mound of half burned wooden planks – ones he’d clearly used recently to warm the room up. On the right sat a dark mahogany chest of draws, his Jade Winged Spear leaning against one side for support, perfectly polished like it was brand new and not thousands of years old. Apart from an open door leading to a narrow, private balcony, and a small stack of discarded plates (all previously containing almond tofu, knowing his preferences), the rest of the room was relatively plain – expected for an adeptus as simple as Xiao.
Behind her, he leaned awkwardly against the doorframe, silently watching her reaction while wishing he took a bit more care in decorations – a thought that had never crossed his mind until now. He then cleared his throat in an attempt to break the awkward silence that had settled over them.
The sudden noise shifted her attention back to him, making her turn to him with a sympathetic smile on her face, “It's very… you, I like it.”
In response, Xiao pursed his lips and grunted, looking away – unsure on how to respond to her words. “I’ll get a fire going,” he mumbled, trying to diverge the topic of conversation away from himself.
“I’ll do it!” She offered with a grin, moving to crouch down by the fireplace; lighting the already laid wooden planks using her pyro resonance – the flames casting a warm glow over her tired features as she looked back at him with a smile all too pleased with herself.
At the sight, his expression softened, and he made his way over to her – sitting a small but respectable distance away. He didn’t look at her, not daring himself to, and instead mumbled a strained, “Thanks,” while watching the flames and shifting to sit in his usual cross-legged position.
Her expression calmed in return, a relaxed smile appearing on her face as she sat back on her hands, legs stretched out lazily in front of her. She exhaled slowly, releasing all the pent up tension and exhaustion that had been building up inside her over the past few months – content to just sit in peaceful silence beside him.
As the silence stretched, her thoughts began to wander over the recent adventures she had faced – her travels in Teyvat never seemed to stop, allowing little time to simply sit and process everything that’s happened. Finding her and Aether’s old spaceship was… certainly an unexpected discovery, one that brought back many buried memories of their past travels together. The long weeks travelling in their ship, staying up late to tell scary stories to each other, spending years helping planets in need – and she felt she could do it all, make the impossible *possible*, all because he was there by her side. She wondered what he’s up to right now, what friends he has in the abyss to keep him company – Aether was always the type of person to surround himself with the people he cared about when feeling upset… so where was he? Is she no longer part of that group for him? Why wouldn’t he just talk to her, figure this out with her? They used to work though everything together, what’s so different about this?
“Something is troubling you, if you wish to speak… I will listen.” Xiao murmured quietly, stopping the flood of questions from consuming her whole. He was already watching her, as he had done subtly this whole time, a tender warmth in his eyes that only she had the privilege of receiving.
Meeting his gaze, she sighed, taking a second to memorize the way he was looking at her, like he was truly concerned for her. “I–” she paused, not used to being so vulnerable with anyone but Aether. “In Nod Krai, we helped Columbina regain the authority of the three moons, and bring the only surviving moon; the Frost Moon, into Teyvats borders – but on that moon we… we discovered mine and Aethers spaceship. You know, the one we came to Teyvat on. The one we travelled everywhere on since leaving our homeworld. And then I went through our travel logs, and saw all our old stuff and–”
“Lumine,” he interrupted, a stern yet gentle tinge to his voice, “breathe.”
She swallowed back the stream of words that threatened to keep pouring out of her mouth, nodding while taking a steady breath, exhaling it slowly though her nose. An action done whilst maintaining his watchful gaze, the soft concern swirling in his eyes more comforting than any words could have been. After a good few moments, and various more careful breaths, she spoke again – slower this time.
“I just.. I miss him, I miss how things used to be, how simple everything seemed when he was by my side. And now I'm… alone, and he doesn’t want to see me, and I don’t know how to find him.” Her expression turned more solemn, shifting so her knees hugged against her chest.
Xiao exhales in response, never having been good with words. When he finally did speak, his chosen words were a quiet admission, “I know what it’s like to feel alone, to lose everyone you thought would be there forever.”
He was trying his best to comfort her by showing how he related to her, to remind her that she’s not alone – because she has him. But words have failed him many times, now included, and that was the most he could manage to say. Losing his fellow yakshas was one of the hardest things he’s ever dealt with, and still deals with even 500 years later. His grief has never stopped, much like his karmic debt – a constant reminder of the many lives lost to his hands, of the many lives he’s filled with this everlasting grief as consequence.
“That… weirdly makes me feel a little less alone.” She murmured back, a small smile breaking through her sullen expression.
“You aren’t alone.” He mumbled quietly, because you have me – the latter got left unsaid, but he secretly hoped she would understand what he was trying to convey.
And she did understand, her expression softening to one of inexplicable fondness as she whispered; “You aren’t alone either, Xiao,” then moved one hand to gently wrap around his wrist, feeling his pulse skyrocket beneath her fingers, and swearing she saw him blush – even if only for a second.
He made no effort to speak after that, just looked down at their hands as if the contact was as equally burning as it was transfixing, and yet made no attempt to break free – as if a small part of him yearned for such an embrace.
She didn’t break the silence either, or pull her hand back from where it rested around his wrist. Instead, her thumb began to tenderly brush back and forth across his skin – a silent comfort and reassurance that this was okay, that he was allowed to enjoy this too.
As the quiet stretched around them, she began studying his serene expression – noticing a faded, pale scar that ran along his cheekbone under his right eye. It was hardly noticeable from any respectable distance, but the warm glow of the fireplace had a way of bringing old scars into the light. She wondered what it would be like to run her thumb along it, feel the dip of his skin beneath her fingers. As her fantasies grew, so too did her exhaustion – her eyelids growing heavier by the second. Sleep called to her like a siren’s song, willing her to give in to the overwhelming exhaustion she had suppressed for so long.
All the while, Xiao wrestled with his thoughts, his mind consumed by nothing but her – her touch, her scent, her soothing voice, her sweet words of comfort, her golden irises that shimmered like the first rays of dawn. Everything about her was just perfect to him, she was the rising sun that brought light into his world of eternal darkness. He knew all that with absolute certainty… but did she? He’d never been good at expressing his feelings, having lived most of his life so emotionally closed off from others – even since Morax rescued him, letting people in has never been something he was particularly open to. Facing his weighing insecurities, he decided in that moment that he was going to bare his heart to her, to face his fear of judgement and let her in for good.
As he turned, he began to speak – voice more raw and vulnerable than it had ever been, a testament to the immense significance of his coming words, “Lumine, I–”
However, his voice trailed off as soon as his gaze landed on her form – watching as she sat there with her head hung low, eyes completely shut, and breathing at a steady rhythm. She had… fallen asleep. In one way, he felt quite honoured that she had felt comfortable enough in his presence to let her guard down completely and fall asleep; but in another, he felt a quiet regret. Because, well… he wasn’t sure if they would ever experience a moment like this again – a tranquil and intimate moment, a chance to privately confess his undying infatuation for her when it was just the two of them – no interruptions or places to be; which was the sole reason he had never confessed before. She was always needed somewhere, or someone always came and interrupted their private conversations – a cycle of frustration and yearning that hadn’t been broken until today.
He stilled and just watched her for a while, content to simply admire her peaceful expression and the way her breathing would hitch every once in a while – it wasn’t weird (or at least that’s what he told himself), he was just… protecting her, watching to make sure she was okay; he definitely wasn’t mesmerized by the way her hair fell in front of her face, or by the way her eyelashes fanned out over her cheek. She was just beautiful, and even that didn’t fully capture her sublimity. He found himself unable to move, unable to look away from the radiating beauty sleeping before him – the dancing fire in front giving her face an almost angelic glow. Even the strongest people have their weaknesses – and his was her.
- - -
After an undisclosed amount of time, only because he wasn’t actually sure how long he sat staring at her, a thought popped into his head – how truly uncomfortable she must be in that position. He knew she slept in odd places from time to time, it was part of her life as The Traveller, but she would definitely wake up in the morning with throbbing neck pain, at the very least. The last thing he would ever want is for Lumine to suffer. If he had his way – he would absorb any and all of her pain, so both her mind and body could be free from the torment that has plagued them for so long.
It was then that he decided he was going to move her to his bed, he would never allow her to sleep on the floor – and he was intending to sneak onto his balcony for sleep anyway, knowing the mere knowledge of her sleeping in the same room as him would cause him yet another restless night.
Moving onto his knees, he slid one arm under her legs, and the other behind her shoulders, lifting her slowly into a bridal carry, gradually rising to his feet as he did so. As he shifted her into a more comfortable position, (comfortable for her, not for him – he was just happy to hold her like this, a fantasy he had never allowed himself to indulge in before), he carefully walked over to his bed, using his foot to move back the large blanket and allow a big enough space to put her down. Once she was laid on the mattress, being as gentle as he possibly could, he delicately moved the thick blanket back over her, tucking her in so she was comfortable. When satisfied, he lifted the end of the blanket and carefully took her shoes off, placing them neatly at the foot of the bed. After laying the blanket back down, he simply took a moment, yet again, to just look at her. How she lay so comfortably in his bed, wrapped in the blanket that he had spent most of his recent nights snuggled up in (thankfully, he had washed it that morning, so it was clean). The sight added a strange warmth to his heart – at how content she was to be surrounded by things that were solely his, and how the sight of her in his space… wasn’t an unwelcome one, as it would have been if she was anyone else.
After a brief minute, he decided to stop staring at her – his gaze might scare her if she suddenly woke up, and he would never wish to cause her fear. As he turned to walk towards the balcony door, deciding it best to give her privacy as she rested, a warm and gentle hand darted out of the blanket and grabbed his – causing him to spin around in surprise. Though his hand remained perfectly in place, his grip on her fingers tightening subconsciously.
“Please… stay.” She whispered from where she lay, her voice a quiet whine as she did her best to look up at him though half-lidded eyes, sleep clearly fighting back for control.
He stared down at her for a long moment – his momentary look of surprise turning into one of inexplicable fondness as he whispered back; “Anything for you, Lumine.” The words flying out of his mouth before he had the chance to retract them.
Which was completely out of character for him, usually so composed, and his words always pre-planned – but humans didn’t often remember their mid-sleep conversations… right? That’s what he chose to believe anyway. She probably wouldn’t remember asking, therefore it wouldn’t matter if he left, and yet… if the sole purpose of her brief consciousness was to ask him to stay… who was he to deny her? He never could and never would; she had a way of making him instantly concede every time she asked something of him.
Without letting go of her hand, he knelt down beside the bed and used his other hand to take off his shoes. Once complete, he placed them directly next to hers at the foot of the bed, like the shoes belonged together. Like they belonged together. Looking back up at her, he noticed that she had fallen back asleep, and stood once again – all while keeping a steady grip on her hand, unwilling to let go for some reason. The thought alone caused him great discomfort. He then began thinking of how he was actually going to join her in bed. He could just let go of her hand and walk to the other side, but that would mean letting go of her hand – so naturally this option was immediately shut down. He could climb over her, though that would risk waking her – and he’d been through all this effort to keep her asleep, it would be a shame to wake her now. Teleporting made quite a loud sound, and caused a gush of wind to blow while he moved – that would definitely wake her in a panic, which he could now allow to happen. Her resting peacefully and without disruption was the priority here. After a few more seconds of internal debate, he decided climbing over her was his best option – so long as he was careful, he could probably do it without waking her up.
Placing one knee onto the edge of the bed, he carefully swung his other leg over her hips and to the other side of her body – then paused, an unfiltered blush spreading over his face as he realised the position he had placed himself in. It was quite an inappropriate position, and he only hoped she didn’t wake up to such a sight. Quickly moving to negate the possibility of such an event, he swung the leg on the edge of the bed over to his side, kneeling there in triumph. Once his moment of self satisfaction wore off, he moved to lay down next to her – a respectable distance, with enough room between them to not look scandalous, and yet he still held onto her hand – which caused both their arms to fill the space he had left between them. The contact was incredibly soothing, her warm skin providing some much needed comfort to his usually isolated nights. Due to this, he found himself drifting off to sleep far quicker than usual – most nights fear would circle his mind before he found respite, yet tonight no such thoughts plagued him. In that moment, all he knew was comfort. Her warmth and steady breaths were like a perfect lullaby, quieting any doubts and fears in his mind. As his eyelids grew heavier, and his consciousness faded away into the world of the dreaming, his last thoughts here of her, as they would be forevermore.