Chapter Text
Tears rolled down Gangle’s mask and stained her drawing as she sketched. The pencil trembled in her ribbon hand. Everyone hates her now. No one wants to be even next to her. Gangle heard the others' voices from behind her. They were probably all talking about the last adventure and how she screwed it all up. She drew her legs closer to her chest. How could she ever face the others again? Gangle could picture the faces if she tried to go up to them.
Ragatha would hide her true feelings, but her eyebrows would scrunch up, and a slight frown would tug at her plastic smile. Pomni would refuse to look at her. She would keep a large distance from Gangle. Zooble wouldn’t even be around. They would be finding every way to avoid her. Kinger wouldn’t react in any way, but it didn’t matter. Jax wouldn’t hide anything. His large yellow cartoonish smirk spread to either side of his face while his black square pupils dilated. He would break her down in every way. First the little jabs of past references to the adventure. Gangle guessed that Jax would start going after her mask more soon. It was her mask that caused this. She caused everyone’s pain. She made the adventure torture instead of making it fun. She made stressful rather than relaxing. The adventure was to give a little reality in this digital prison, but Gangle ruined it.
She ruined everything. She caused the truck to fall in the fudge river in the Candy Kingdom adventure because she couldn’t control it. She caused Kinger and Pomni to go through the bad door in the ghost mansion because the door took and ate her happy mask. Now, there was another mistake to add to her failures. Even before the circus, she failed to keep the restaurant running smoothly. Gangle was the manager but there was always a group of customers that were unhappy, an employee quitting, HR calling about a complaint, or something breaking. She was supposed to keep everything in order, but it never did. It was all because she was too incompetent for her role. She should have let the other guy get the promotion. Or was it a girl? Was it even an adult? Everything was blurry when thinking about her life before. The only thing she could remember vividly was how much of a failure she is.
Bright lights, a loud horn, and a semi-truck barreling towards her. Those were the last moments of the adventure. She had left Pomni to close Spudsy. For once, it felt like the load was off of her. She ran out the restaurant, past her car, and to the street. She didn’t know where she was running to, but she was running. It felt freeing. Then, the blinding white, the concrete below her trembling, but it didn’t matter. The aching loud noise telling her to move. Why should Gangle listen to it? She had enough people tell her what to do and be. Suddenly, she was in Caine’s office, having to deal with her mistakes again. This wasn’t the first time.
Gangle could see Spudsy’s, but it wasn’t quite right. She was mopping the floors. Everyone had left. They had put all of the closing shift chores onto her. Her back was aching, her eyelids were heavy, and her shoes were tight. She still had to bus the tables, restock, and lock up. The worst part was that she was going to do all of this again tomorrow. Gangle wished for something different than this monotonous routine. A semi-truck drove past the restaurant with immense speed. Gangle wondered if a hit by it would kill her. Or would it just give her severe injuries? It had to be able to kill her, especially at that speed, right? Would it be fast? Or would it be a slow agonizing death where she could feel the blood draining out of her and her bones peeking out of her flesh? Gangle almost wished she was back at Spudsy’s again with that semi-truck but instead of teleporting at Caine’s office, it had finished her. She would no longer be a bother to everyone else. They wouldn't have to fear what could happen if Gangle was nearby. They could live freely without all of her mistakes. Everyone would be happier if she had died from that truck. She knew she would be. Everything is her fault. Everything is her fault. Everything is HER fault. EVERYTHING IS-
“What are you doing out all the way here? Why don’t you join the rest of us?” Gangle looked up to see Zooble. She was surprised. She had expected them to avoid her at all costs. Instead, they were leaning on the corner and talking to her. And inviting her to join the others. They’re probably just being polite, she told herself. A tear escaped her eyes and rolled down her face.
“After what happened today, I don’t think anybody wants to talk to me,” Gangle’s voice cracked near the end. The mental images of the others’ faces appeared in her head again. “I ruined everything. I ruined the adventure. I caused all of you to suffer. I’m a horrible person. It would be better if I just disappeared.” She curled into a tighter ball and rested her chin on her knees. She tried to fight back the tears, but they were overpowering. Gangle imagined how weak she looked right now.
“It wasn’t your fault. You are not a horrible person. It was the mask that was controlling you. It wasn’t you doing it. Plus, I wanna talk to you. I like hearing about the stories behind your drawings. C’mon.” They held out their hand. Gangle hesitated. Should she accept? She cautiously put her ribbon hand in their oversized yellow glove. Zooble lifted Gangle off the floor. Her sketchbook and pencil dropped to the floor with a loud thud. Gangle winced. It sounded like a mini explosion. Zooble bent down, grabbed the objects, and gave it back to Gangle.
“T-thank you,” Gangle cradled the sketchbook to her chest.
“It’s no problem,” they responded. Gangle slowly set her book and pencil down on the ground where she was originally sitting. “Hey, you should bring your art. I always like to see what you’re working on. They’re really good.” Their eyes held a soft smile. Gangle couldn’t help but to smile back. She grabbed her supplies and looked down at her tear-stained drawing.
“I don’t deserve a friend like you,” Gangle said softly. She felt a hand on her shoulder.
“Well, you got one,” Zooble’s voice was just as gentle. Gangle wiped away a tear. She was so lucky. The two walked toward the social spot of the circus: three couches on a rug surrounded in an open space. The large colorful blocks made the landscape. Gangle remembered her first time here. She was completely new to this digital world. She was paranoid, anxious, and wary. She stayed mainly alone. Kinger was a little more sane and he tried to befriend her along with Ragatha. Gangle liked their company but she felt like a third wheel. Zooble hadn’t joined the circus yet. They are the second newest member. Jax at first didn’t really notice her but when Ribbit abstracted, he immediately began to bully her. He didn’t know much but his tactics were just as effective. Gangle hugged herself. Though, it was nothing when he snuck into her room and found her crush on Ragatha. She could see Jax in the center of her room holding the Ragatha figurine made of paper mache and piles of pulled out pages with sketches of Ragatha surrounding him. That same smirk on his face.
Gangle shook herself out of her head and tried to focus on the other members as she and Zooble slowly walked up to them. They didn’t notice until they stood on the rug, in front of them. Ragatha looked up, surprised. A frown tugging at that smile. Those furrowed brows. Gangle could guess her reaction anytime. She had studied that face for hours. Pomni looked away but looked back with a small reassuring smile. It seemed she had learned it from Ragatha. Jax. Gangle didn’t want to look at him but she could feel his eyes boring holes into her.
“Uh, hey Gangle. How’s it going?” Sincere touched Ragatha’s voice but Gangle can’t believe it anymore. She looked down. “I heard about the accident with the truck. You okay?” Gangle nodded slightly. “That’s good.”
“Did it hurt?” Pomni asked. She sounded a little hesitant. Gangle couldn’t blame her.
“No,” Gangle didn’t have the energy to say anything else.
“Are ya going to go crazy again and make us your wage slaves?” Gangle froze. She looked over to see Jax grinning. His eyes hungry for her fear. Tears pricked her eyes. She never should have come. She knew this was going to happen. Why did she agree? Gangle wanted to go back to that invisible spot where no one knew she was there. She hugged her sketchbook tightly to her ribbon chest.
“Leave her alone. What is your problem?” Gangle stared at Zooble in disbelief. Why were they defending her?
“Whaaat? It was a harmless joke. Ain’t that right, ribbons?” Gangle stared at the floor below her, wishing it was a trap door that would open and pull her away. The joke wasn’t harmless. It never was. She could feel herself taking a step back. She never should have come.
“It is not ‘harmless’ and you know very well that. Why do you keep torturing her? Are you that insecure? Or are you just sadistic?” Gangle looked up to see Zooble in front of her. She felt her heart racing.
“Psshhh, you’re just reading into it too much,” Jax always acted like nothing really mattered. Maybe nothing did in this prison, but it hurt all too much.
“And you’re a BLORPing BLEEPhole,” Zooble shot back.
“It’s fine,” Gangle didn’t want to be the reason for a fight. She touched their left arm to pull them back. “There’s no reason to fight over this.” “Yea, Zooble. You’re overreacting. Almost like Gangle in the last adventure. Jeez, now that was over the top. Remember that time when you flew off the handle because Ragatha was on that stupid sauce and wasn’t making enough burgers when there weren’t even any customers. Now that was overreacting.”
“Are you seriously blaming Gangle for that?”
“It wasn’t her?” Ragatha asked. Everyone moved their attention to her. Zooble took a breath and shook their head.
“No. Did you notice how Gangle’s mask was different?” Pomni and Ragatha looked at each other and nodded their heads. “I gave her that mask. I found it in my box of parts. It seemed to fit her and it was made of plastic so she wouldn’t have to worry about it breaking. Though, since it was probably made by Caine, it was unstable.” Jax rolled his eyes to Zooble’s explanation. How could he not take anything seriously?
“Is that true?” Pomni asked this time. Gangle nodded her head slightly. She wasn’t sure if Caine had made it or not but it was definitely unstable. Once it latched onto her face, it was near impossible to take it off. She was only able to take it off once when she couldn’t take it anymore. Then again, she couldn’t take much more of the adventure either. It was all too similar to her life before. That same useless feeling. That same wish for everything to just end. It was all too familiar. The overstimulation must have caused the mask to weaken enough for Gangle to take it off but it had retightened its grip on her face when it was put back on.
“How are you sure about that?” Jax rested his head on his hand. His smirk still plastered on his face.
“Because I know Gangle. She would never do anything to harm someone else.” Zooble walked up into Jax’s face. “She is not a jerk like you.”
“Yea!” Ragatha stood up and stood next to Gangle. She was so close. If Ragatha had done this when Gangle still had a crush on her, she would pinch herself to make sure it wasn’t a dream. But it wasn’t. Everything was real. Well, as real as a digital world could make it. “You’re a jerk to everyone but Gangle wouldn’t hurt a fly!”
“Thank you,” Gangle whispered.
“Oh! It’s nothing. No one should be bullied.” Ragatha gave a sweet smile. Gangle wanted to believe it. She used to want to stare in those sweet eyes but now they were regular eyes. She looked away.
“Bullying? Why, you two are ganging up on me. If anyone is a bully, it’s you guys.”
“How could you say that? You put centipedes in my room! You forced Pomni to hang on for dear life to two trucks at the Candy Kingdom as she was getting stretched. And it was only her second day!”
“And you have forced Gangle to be your puppet on nearly every adventure. You forced her to be constant bait whenever there is a monster you want to kill. Then, you have that one time you threw me in a volcano where I was burned alive because I was pulled apart, which was also your fault by the way, and you were too lazy to pick me up, so you kicked me into an active volcano. Would you like us to go on? You are a massive bully. And you’re calling us ones?”
Gangle walked backwards. She had started an argument between Jax and Zooble and Ragatha. All because of her mask. It was all of her fault. She wouldn’t have taken Zooble’s offer if she knew she would cause this.
“Hey, Gangle?” She looked over to see Pomni walking towards her. “Hey, um, I know that I haven’t been here long, and we don't know each other well but. Well, I’m just curious. What happened to you while you were wearing that mask?” Gangle looked down.
“It. Uh.” She wasn’t sure how to describe it. It was as if the mask had taken over her body. She was very much conscious, but she couldn’t control what she was doing or saying. It was her but not. “It. It moved my body without me. It made me say things that I had no control over. It got into my head and found some past memories. You know, before the circus.” Gangle shivered. It probed through her mind, trying to find her dark secrets and insecurities.
“Could you control it?”
“No. All I could do was watch. I never should have put on that mask. I swear I wouldn’t have done anything like that without it. I-I.” Gangle felt the tears come down. She covered her face with her sketchbook.
“H-hey. It’s okay. Uh, I believe you. Though, how come you took it off and then put it back on if you knew this was happening with it on?” Gangle sniffled.
“I was so overwhelmed by everything, the mask was loosening. I could feel it but when I took it off, I could barely stand. Everything inside of me felt weak. The mask kept me going. I knew I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t have let you and the others see me so. So pathetic. I’m so pathetic!” Everything seemed to come out of Gangle. She couldn’t hold it all back. All of the emotions. All of the shame and guilt. “I’m so sorry! It would have been better if we didn’t do that stupid adventure! It would have been better if I had not come along at all! I’m so sorry for all of the pain I caused!” The tears turned into waterfalls and her cries of forgiveness became choked sobs. She caused all of this.
“Gangle,” Pomni started. “It’s not your fault. It’s okay. I forgive you. I bet Ragatha would too.”
“What about Zooble?”
“Sure.”
You mean that?” Gangle peaked over her sketchbook. Pomni nodded.
“Uh, yeah! You said it was the mask, right?” Gangle slowly nodded. Pomni gave a shy smile. “I’m sure everyone would understand if you told them what was happening to you while you were wearing it.”
“I-I guess. You really think so?” Gangle waited anxiously for Pomni’s response. She nodded. Gangle wiped away a tear. “O-ok.”
“C’mon doll face. You know it’s all in good fun.” Jax said coolly. Ragatha was clearly losing her temper. Gangle felt bad. They were defending her but all they were getting was being ragebaited by Jax. Pomni stepped up next to Ragatha and whispered to her. “Hey, what are you two whispering about?”
“None of your business,” Zooble snapped back.
“You don’t even know what they’re talking about.”
“Sure I don’t but neither should you. Stick to your pathetic jokes.”
“Hey! My jokes aren’t pathetic! They’re comedy gold.” Zooble rolled their eyes at the statement. “You’re all just jealous.”
“Just leave Gangle alone,” Pomni interjected. Jax looked offended.
“Oh, so you’re siding with them now? The losers?” Pomni took a step closer to Ragatha. Gangle could see a slight blush on Ragatha’s face. “Fine.” Jax stood up and left. No one said a thing until they couldn’t see his figure anymore. “Good riddance,” Zooble stated. They looked over at Gangle. “You alright?” She nodded. “I’m glad. Why don’t you show us what you were drawing? It looked really detailed.” Gangle felt her heart skip a beat. No one had asked her to show off her drawings. She slowly flipped through her sketchbook and turned it around, so the illustration faced the others. Nervousness rang through Gangle. She worried that the others would think it was weird or bad. Instead, they all stared amazed at the page.
“That’s really good, Gangle!” Ragatha said. A nervous giggle came from Gangle.
“Yea. I knew you could draw but this is something else.” Zooble added
“I-it’s nothing! This is just a simple sketch!” Gangle could feel herself become flustered from the compliments. “It’s not that complex.”
“Wow, I could never do that. You’re like an expert.” Pomni’s voice was filled with wonder.
“I’m no expert. B-but I could teach you.” Pomni, Ragatha, and Zooble looked at each other. Then, they switched their attention back to Gangle.
“Sure, why not,” Zooble said. “It’s worth a try.” The other two nodded in agreement.
( ͡°👅 ͡°)
Gangle hummed. She wasn’t sure what the song was, but she knew it was from outside the circus. Maybe if they find a way out of the circus, she can finally find the name of the song. Nevertheless, Gangle continued to hum the unnamed tune. Her pencil sketched folds into the clothes drawn on the paper. The light pencil lines made up Gangle’s OC. Just like her name, Gangle forgot the name of her character no matter how hard she tried to remember. At first, the character was given the name OC as a place holder for when Gangle remembered it or found another name. Yet, neither the original nor a new name came to her mind. So, the character’s name became OC permanently. It sounded corny to Gangle at first but the name resonated with her over time. It was unique.
Gangle felt a brush against her thigh. Zooble was readjusting themself on the couch. Their thigh must have touched hers. Gangle felt her mask heat up. There were barely a few centimeters between them. Their bodies were so close they could be touching with any slight movement. Gangle looked over to see Pomni and Ragatha in a similar situation. Their shoulders were touching but neither seemed to mind. Once in a while, Pomni would ask a question or Ragatha would look over but it always ended up in a flustered look away. Gangle let out a small giggle. She has a new idea to sketch.