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Nicholas knew he would regret this. He had spent the last couple of months trying to erase Euijoo's face from his memory, trying not to wake up and feel sick to his stomach whenever the place beside him was empty. He had tried to rebuild his routine, to change everything about himself and erase every imprint Euijoo had left on his life.
But when he opens the door and sees Euijoo standing there, holding a bouquet of his favourite flowers, peonies, he can't shake the urgent need to kiss him.
So he does exactly that. He crosses the threshold and presses his lips against Euijoo's. His hands bury themselves in Euijoo's ginger hair, holding him still as he kisses him like he's his source of oxygen. Euijoo seems surprised by the sudden action, but he quickly kisses him back, pouring every emotion into it. He grabs Nicholas by the waist and pulls him flush against his body, the flowers long forgotten on the floor.
When Nicholas comes to his senses and tries to pull away, Euijoo tightens his grip, refusing to let him go. Then Nicholas tastes something salty. As he finally succeeds in breaking free, he studies Euijoo's expression. Large tears spill from his eyes, and his face is utterly heartbroken. He continues to hold Nicholas firmly, searching for something in his eyes. Nicholas doesn't know what.
"What are you doing here, Euijoo?" Nicholas finally asks, breaking the silence. He can admit he made a mistake. Kissing his ex-boyfriend was not the smartest thing he'd ever done, especially when he had sworn he would never forgive him.
"You didn't let me explain, Nicholas." Euijoo looked terrible. He was crying openly now, tears streaming endlessly down his face, and the grip he had on Nicholas was almost painful. Nicholas could barely move an inch.
"You didn't let me." Nicholas wanted to protest. He wanted to tell him that he had given him enough chances to explain why he had been so secretive during the last month of their relationship. Always sneaking out at night. Hiding his phone. Taking private calls on the balcony.
But every protest died on his tongue when Euijoo placed his head on his shoulder and sobbed loudly. Nicholas could feel a wet patch forming on his white shirt. He knew he would struggle to wash it later, hesitating to erase yet another piece of Euijoo from his life.
"I was trying to propose to you, you idiot."
Nicholas froze.
Surely he had heard him wrong. There was no way Euijoo meant that. He had to be making excuses, saying whatever would make Nicholas forgive him.
"What did you say?" His own voice sounded distant, trembling as he tried to process the words.
"I was planning my proposal, Nicholas." Euijoo lifted his head from Nicholas's shoulder and looked at him with complete sincerity. As though Nicholas had misunderstood everything. As though all those lonely nights had a much bigger explanation.
As Nicholas struggled to respond, Euijoo stepped back and reached into his back pocket, pulling out a small red box. Nicholas couldn't believe his eyes. He searched Euijoo's face for any sign of dishonesty, but found none. All he saw was Euijoo, crying while clutching the box as though it might disappear at any moment. Euijoo opened it and held it out to him.
"I was going to do it the week after you broke up with me."
"No."
It was all Nicholas could manage. Euijoo's reaction was immediate. He reached forward and grabbed Nicholas by the shoulders. Nicholas couldn't hold it in anymore, a sob escaped his lips, and the wall he had spent months building around himself finally crumbled.
He fell into Euijoo's arms, crying uncontrollably while his fists repeatedly struck Euijoo's chest. "You don't mean that, Euijoo." Euijoo let him hit him without complaint, gently rubbing his back. He didn't care about the pain. Nicholas was hurting far more than he was.
"Yes, I do mean it, Nicholas. I wanted to marry you."
A moment later, he added quietly, "I still want to marry you."
At that, Nicholas slowly lifted his head and stared at him as though he had just handed him the moon. "Euijoo..." He looked at him and saw the boy who had been with him through everything. Every breakdown, every hardship, but not only, he was the boy who brought him joy in so many moments.
"Of course I want to marry you." Without warning, Nicholas jumped into his arms, wrapping his legs around Euijoo's waist and his arms around his shoulders. Startled, Euijoo caught him as best he could. The uncertainty in his eyes vanished instantly. He held Nicholas securely while still clutching the little red box in one hand. Nicholas looked beautiful in the sunlight. His face was puffy from crying, and his damp bangs stuck to his forehead.
Then Nicholas kissed him again and this time, it felt completely different. The kiss was tender and passionate, unhurried and full of certainty. Neither of them rushed because they both knew it wouldn't be the last. Euijoo poured every ounce of his love into it, desperate to show Nicholas that he meant every word.
When they finally pulled apart, Nicholas pointed toward the box. "Put it on me, please."
He smiled as Euijoo struggled to open the box and remove the ring with shaky hands. It was a silver band covered in tiny diamonds. Taking Nicholas's hand gently, he asked once more,
"Will you marry me, Nicholas?"
Before he had even finished speaking, Nicholas answered.
"Yes." Euijoo slipped the ring onto his finger and lifted Nicholas's hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against it.
"I had planned such an amazing proposal..." There was sorrow in his eyes. He had wanted everything to be perfect. They had been together for four years, and Euijoo had wanted to give Nicholas the proposal he deserved. He had been certain Nicholas would say yes, but he still wanted it to be special. This was how he showed his love, by giving Nicholas the very best he could.
"It's okay. I like it." Nicholas looked genuinely pleased, and Euijoo knew he wasn't saying it just to make him feel better.
Nicholas then bent down and picked up the long-forgotten peonies from the floor. He brought them to his face, inhaled their scent, and hummed approvingly. A moment later, he leaned over and pressed a brief kiss to Euijoo's lips.
"I love you, Euijoo."
Euijoo wrapped his arms around Nicholas and pulled him close before kissing his forehead.
"I love you too, Nicholas."