Chapter Text
"wanna go out?" an asked casually, out of nowhere, as if it was a normal thing to say.
mizuki nearly choked on the last mouthful of her lunch in shock. was this a trick question? "uh, aren't you the one who's always getting onto me for not coming to school, miss hall monitor?"
"no, i mean, like... date."
"oh." having been the butt of one too many middle school jokes, mizuki would usually make an excuse and run away at this point. but an was one of the nicest and most earnest people mizuki had ever known, and it was always pretty obvious when she was joking, so... "did something happen between you and kohane-chan?"
"no?" an's attempted air of nonchalance was spoiled by her meticulously tearing an empty carton of tea to shreds.
mizuki hummed doubtfully, leaning forward to try and catch an's eye, but she turned her head just enough to keep her face hidden behind her hair. an usually made too much eye contact, so the fact that she wouldn't even look at mizuki was an obvious red flag. "then why're you asking me instead of her?"
"because i can't!" an whined pitifully, suddenly throwing down the remnants of her tea and flopping over onto mizuki's back. "i hug her, and hold her hand, and give her loads of compliments, and i even tell her i love her! but she acts like it's all normal friend stuff!"
"i mean... for you it kind of is?" mizuki wheezed. she wasn't very flexible, and an had her doubled over a little past her limit.
"nuh-uh!" an shot up, indignant, and then paused. "at least, not with boys."
mizuki sat up and took a moment to breathe, deeply and gratefully, before speaking. "i'm almost positive ive seen you hanging off touya-kun before."
an waved a hand dismissively. "he's different."
"how so?"
"i mean, like..." an waved her hand more wildly. "like, he's not gonna be he forever, y'know?" her face lit up with realization, and she nudged mizuki conspiratorily. "you know!"
mizuki did not know. she hummed and sipped at the last of her own tea to give herself time to think. all she really knew about touya was that he idolized their goofy senpai, was attached to ena's brother's hip, and naively believed every word mizuki said. "yeah, i don't really know him like that," she concluded.
an seemed mildly disappointed, but quickly rallied. "well, trust me. if i think someone's cute, they're probably not a guy."
"i'll take your word for it," mizuki said while her brain dived down a rabbit hole of implications: did an's gaydar double as an egg detector? was an a chaser? was kohane trans? did miyajo even accept trans students? could mizuki have enrolled there instead? would it have been worth losing an and rui? would the bullying be better or worse at an all girls school? if mafuyu knew, would she-
"anyway!" mizuki didn't want to think about this anymore. time to bring the conversation back on track. "you just gotta tell kohane-chan what you mean."
"but it's so hard!" an pouted as she slumped back over - into mizuki's side this time, thankfully. "i'll be like," her voice went low and gruff, "'kohane, i have to tell you something.' and then she'll be like 'what is it, an-chan?'" an impeccable kohane impression, "and then my brain stops working and i say something completely different!"
mizuki chuckled lightly at an's theatrics. "have you tried, i dunno, writing a letter?"
"no. so i was thinking-"
wow, no hesitation. mizuki was almost upset, but suddenly remembered an's grades; no wonder she wasn't confident enough in her writing ability to even entertain that idea.
"-maybe i just need to practice being a girlfriend, y'know? to make sure i can be the bestest partner ever for kohane."
mizuki nodded slowly. "okay. sure. but, like..." she paused, taking a moment to carefully skirt around her most self deprecating thoughts. "why me, specifically?"
"weeell..." an started listing off reasons with her fingers, "you're cute, smart, easy to talk to, fun to be around, one of my bestest friends..." mizuki couldn't stop a flustered giggle bubbling up at the praise, not helped by an suddenly poking her in the side, grinning at her mischievously. "plus, i know you have, like, a huge crush on akito's sister-"
"no i don't," mizuki interrupted, too quickly.
an raised an eyebrow. "you've literally been on her picshare this whole time."
mizuki glanced at the phone in her hand, which did, indeed, have one of ena's selfies front and center. not even a recent one, but one she had posted months ago. mizuki hadn't even realized she'd scrolled back that far. extremely, undeniably incriminating.
calmly, she locked her phone and disposed of the evidence in her skirt pocket. "i have no idea what you're talking about," she denied primly, ignoring the heat in her face.
an snorted. "riiight. so!" she clapped her hands. "it'll be, like, one stone with two birds, y'know? and there'll be no hard feelings when we break up, because we've already got feelings for other people. super genius plan, right?"
to be told that the relationship would have an end, and that that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, was honestly kind of relieving. and yet, despite that, despite the fact that an knew more about her than most and was still willing (eager, even) to go through with her 'super genius plan', despite how mizuki even thought it could be fun, she still felt anxiety tighten its death grip on her heart.
she must have hesitated too long, because an rushed to reassure her, "oh, but you don't have to agree to it, of course! and if you do, we don't have to do anything you don't wanna do. we don't even have to tell anyone! or- or we can just forget i ever said anything! seriously, anything's cool with me!"
an's attempt to calm her was so frantic that mizuki couldn't help but burst out laughing. gasping dramatically, an put up a front of being offended and lightly shoved mizuki, but she also didn't bother hiding her relieved grin.
"ahh, you're too good to me, an," mizuki said once her laughter subsided, leaning on an heavily enough that she had to prop herself up with the arm opposite mizuki to stay upright.
"nah." an pushed back until they were both just comfortably resting against each other. "just treating you how you deserve."
mizuki hummed noncommittally, tilting her head back to squint at the bright, clear blue sky. she definitely felt that the consideration an showed for her went beyond the simple respect any person should have for another, but, well, mizuki didn't exactly have much experience with that, did she? she sighed. "all the gossip will include you if people find out, you know."
"pshh, i can take 'em." mizuki peeked at an out of the corner of her eye. she had mimicked mizuki in gazing at the sky, looking truly unbothered by the thought of having her own share of the rumors plaguing mizuki. maybe an already did, just by being mizuki's friend. as if feeling mizuki's eye on her, an turned to give her a soft smile. "it's very sweet of you to worry about me, though."
mizuki turned to an as well - maybe to hammer home how all the gossip had made her life a living hell for years, more likely to make a joke to steer the conversation into something more comfortable - but she was suddenly struck dumb by just how close their faces were, noses a mere couple of centimeters from touching. close enough to kiss with very little effort from either side. it wasn't the first time mizuki had that thought (an had a very tenuous grasp on the concept of personal space, and was very cute besides) but was an really willing to risk her reputation to do so?
"can i kiss you?" an asked abruptly.
mizuki flinched back in surprise at her thought being voiced, but an misinterpreted it. "ah. sorry, i shouldn't've-"
"n-no, you're fine! it's just..." mizuki glanced through the fence at their backs, past the edge of the roof overlooking the courtyard where a handful of students were milling about. people tended not to pay much attention to the roof, or else mizuki wouldn't spend so much time on it, but her and an both had pretty distinctive hairstyles. if someone happened to look up at the wrong time...
an caught on quickly and perked up. "oh! if that's all, then..." she scuttled off on all fours to near the center of the roof, then turned back to mizuki to drum her palms on the concrete with a grin.
despite the anxiety still wringing her insides, mizuki had to giggle at an's silliness. she spared one more quick look at the courtyard, then got up, dusted off her skirt, and forced herself to walk leisurely past an to sit back down beside the door to the roof. seeing an's confusion, mizuki explained, "if someone comes up here, the door'll hide us, yeah?"
"ohh. smart." an scurried over to kneel in front of mizuki and settled her hands on mizuki's shoulders... and then paused, looking concerned. "hey, are you sure this is okay? you're, like, super tense."
"ah- haha, yeah, um..." mizuki swallowed nervously, tried to forced herself to relax the white-knuckle grip she had on the hem of her skirt. "it's just- i never really..." she trailed off, a little too embarrassed to say it out loud.
"ohoho?" an grinned playfully. "do i get to be your first kiss?"
"um. pretty much." mizuki briefly considered whether or not the one curious peck with rui in middle school even counted. kissing a girl had to be a different ballgame regardless, right?
(did rui still think he kissed another boy?)
she shoved that thought back where it belonged - thoroughly repressed - and fumbled for a distraction. "uh, what about you?"
"weeell..." an's smile turned sheepish. "me and haruka used to play gay chicken, like, a lot, before we realized we were actually gay, and it may have gotten out of hand a few times, sooo..."
despite herself, mizuki gave a scandalized gasp and leaned forward slightly. "while she was an idol?"
an pulled a face. "ugh, don't tell me you're one of those kinda fans, that think idols have to be 'pure' or whatever."
"...okay." mizuki sat back against the wall and crossed her arms defiantly. "i won't tell you."
they stared at each other for a moment, deadpan. then mizuki's lips wavered, an snorted, and they both dissolved into giggles.
mizuki's laughter caught in her throat as one of an's hands glided up her neck to cup her jaw. "you're really cute when you laugh," an murmured, eyes crinkled with mirth and affection.
"your hand's sticky," mizuki squeaked out.
"oh, shit, really?" an took her hand back and planted it on her own cheek, then pulled it off with a grimace. "gross. my bad."
mizuki's relief at an not getting upset with her for ruining the moment left her in a puff of air that could be generously described as a laugh. to make sure it was taken as one, she followed it up with a cheeky smile and remarked, "maybe you shouldn't've torn up that tea carton."
"yeah, well, i was nervous," an muttered while scrubbing her hand on the front of her blazer, before testing her other hand and scrubbing that one too. "still kind of am," she mumbled under her breath.
knowing she wasn't alone in her feelings made mizuki feel much better about her own nerves. "aww, is big bad an scared of li'l ol' me?"
"big bad an's gonna eat you up if you're not careful," an shot back with a wolfish grin. mizuki's traitorous heart skipped a beat. "seriously though," she continued with a gentler manner, pulling mizuki's folded arms apart to place her hands on an's shoulders. "push me away if i make you uncomfortable or anything, okay?"
"y-you sure you don't just want me to hold you?" mizuki put on her patented teasing smirk to hopefully cover up how badly her voice suddenly wavered.
an gave a lopsided, nervous smile and brought her hand back up to mizuki's face, the other falling to her waist. "i can't really deny being a lesbian about all this, can i?"
oh. it finally hit mizuki. an was a lesbian. she was going to kiss mizuki. wanted to kiss her. wanted to date her! temporarily. but still! the absolute euphoria of it all made mizuki so giddy she didn't even think to tell an that her hand was still sticky.
"close your eyes?" an had started to lean in
mizuki blinked rapidly, tried to clear the bliss fuzzing her brain and process what an said. it didn't work.
"or don't. that's cool. you have pretty eyes," an whispered, and then pressed their lips together.
that's all it was, really. just an awkward press of lips, made almost uncomfortably intimate by the eye contact. no fireworks or anything, just... warmth. not much different from the one with rui after all. mizuki still thought it felt nice, though. so nice, in fact, that when an started to pull away, mizuki surprised them both by tugging her back in, with the unfortunate consequence of smashing their lips between each other's teeth.
an let out a startled grunt, while mizuki cringed from both pain and mortification, ducking her head and shutting her eyes tight. "sorry," she whimpered.
"it's cool!" an chuckled and gently stroked mizuki's cheek with her thumb. "seriously, this is nothing. one time, haruka literally made me bleed."
mizuki peeked up at her, incredulous. kiritani haruka? one of the sweetest, most uplifting idols out there? "really?"
an shrugged. "let's just say it's not a good idea to make out with someone when they're mad at you. but, uh, i'm not mad, so..." she shifted her hand to ghost her thumb across mizuki's lips. "let me kiss it better?"
mizuki huffed out a laugh and lifted her head fully. "so lame."
"but it worked, didn't it?" an affected a casual tone, but the way her eyebrows were slightly drawn up showed it was a genuine question.
"yeah," mizuki replied with a soft smile. "i guess it did." she tugged on the lapels of an's blazer again. gently, this time.
an's face brightened and she excitedly leaned back in. "fuck yeah," she whispered against mizuki's lips before pushing forward all the way.
mizuki couldn't help but giggle into the kiss at that, which set an off into her own giggles, and it ended up as less of a kiss, and more of a series of kisses, anywhere they'd fit in between fits of giggling. eventually, their laughter petered out until they were kissing properly, an's lips moving in relatively practiced motions, with mizuki clumsily following along.
at some point, an's hand had drifted from mizuki's cheek to the nape of her neck, fingers brushing against the wisps of hair that weren't long enough for her ponytail. mizuki hummed at the pleasant tingle that spread across her scalp and down her back, her own hands sliding up to tangle in an's hair and pull her closer. the hand on mizuki's waist slipped up under her cardigan, tongue lapped at her mouth, her breath hitched, jaw slackened, brain shut off, and all of a sudden they were kissing improperly, hot and wet and hungry, hands roving, bodies shifting, desperate noises barely muffled by each other's open mouths-
the bell signaling the end of lunch rang out.
mizuki's eyes flew open. an jolted back. they stared at each other for a moment, wide-eyed, faces flushed, gasping for air, as they tried to process what the fuck just happened. an had mizuki pressed against the wall. mizuki's legs wrapped around an's back, practically sitting in her lap. one of mizuki's hands on an's chest. one of an's under mizuki's thigh, partway up her skirt. their hands flew away almost in tandem.
"shit," an breathed, wiping at the spit and mizuki's lipgloss surrounding her mouth. "shit! holy fucking shit, mizuki. that was- i've never- way better than-" her spluttering halted as her head whipped to the door, suddenly looking panicked. "class. we have to- oh fuck."
mizuki laughed, a little hysterically, as an disentangled herself and stumbled across the roof to clean up the remnants of their lunch. class was the furthest thing from mizuki's mind. she felt so floaty, tingling all over, completely dazed. there was no way she was going to be able to solve algebra equations, or memorize dates and names from the sengoku period, or... whatever. she couldn't even remember which class they had next. not after that.
an came back quickly, a little steadier on her feet. "so... whaddaya say?" she stuck out a shaky hand. "girlfriends?"
mizuki took a deep breath, tried to clear her head and think things through. she knew she should say no; there were too many ways things could go wrong. but, also, she felt so good, so much more comfortable (at least, physically) with another person than she'd felt in years. maybe in her whole life.
"yeah," mizuki sighed, a little dreamily, and took an's (still sticky) hand. "girlfriends."
an grinned, looking positively delighted. "awesome."
and as an dragged her to the nearest, blessedly empty bathroom so they could make themselves presentable for the class that they would absolutely be late to, mizuki prayed with all her heart that she wouldn't come to regret her decision.