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Evers (musician)
Evers is an anonymous indie musician who has received acclaim for his wide variety of music genres, including EDM, pop, and classical. Evers notably became popular in early 2019, the result of a social media trend with the title track of “LOST!” playing over video footage of rave visuals. Following this, Evers released “Chosen” as the lead single for his album Choices. In 2026, Evers released “Again,” returning from a six-year hiatus with a seven-minute piano piece.
Buck never meant for his music to be a secret. It’s just that his parents never really cared about his progress on the piano, nor the failed rap songs he made on the family computer. Maddie, at least, sang along. Buck would learn her favorite pop songs until she would walk into the room and sing with a blinding smile. He never wanted to hide it from his sister, but she left him with some cash and the keys to her Jeep. And now there are too many preserved arguments hidden in his lyrics and melodies for him to want anyone at the 118 to know. Maybe not to the extent of none of them knowing he can even play the piano, but that’s how it played out.
Somehow, music is personal. Maddie is the one who taught him how to sing, and the keys are where he went to express every unnamable feeling, even with a broken arm or sprained fingers.
It’s that fear—of people knowing Buck spends his time off from firefighting making music on his computer—that makes him freeze when Theo opens the drawer with his electronic piano. It was set up in Buck’s guest room, but had made its way into the bottom of his dresser when he had to convert the room into Theo’s bedroom.
It’s the keyboard of his piano. The stand is in his closet, alongside his guitar and microphone. They’re tucked into the corner so that Buck doesn’t have to think about them. Except for when there are words he cannot say. Pain he doesn’t want to feel.
“Buck,” Theo starts. “What is this?”
“Um, a piano. My piano.”
That I use to secretly release music online goes unsaid.
Theo is unconcerned at Buck’s doubt. He just tilts his head, curious.
“Why is it in here?” he asks, sticky hand reaching towards the keys.
Because Buck didn’t want it standing in his room if Theo came crashing in. He didn’t want to be scared of pressing the ‘Play’ button and hearing the last recording. Bobby died. He was trapped. He nearly died— he nearly dies every day. He’s scared, that’s the truth—
“Not a lot of space for it,” he ends up lying.
“There is,” Theo says before turning back around with a confused face. “But you can’t play the piano.”
Buck looks at the kid—his kid?—in front of him, deadly serious.
“I can?” Buck questions before correcting himself. “I can play the piano, Theo.”
Theo stomps his foot on the ground, meant to be demanding, but just makes Buck’s heart clench. He does his best not to outwardly react.
“No, you can’t.”
Buck looks at the piano and Theo’s stubborn face, “Theo—”
“I’ve never seen you play. So, you can’t,” he insists.
“Buddy, just because we can’t see someone doing something doesn’t mean they can’t. I mean, have you ever… seen me… jump?”
That’s reasonable. Something Buck can do and hasn’t done in front of Theo.
But, Theo replies, “Yes.”
Buck’s not sure when he would be jumping in the house, but he nods instead of fighting. The thing with Theo is that you have to play along. You can’t deviate from the conversation too much, or he’ll think you aren’t listening to him. Maybe that’s the thing with all kids, but it’s especially true with Buck’s.
“Okay, how about—”
“Can you play now?” Theo asks impatiently, jamming his fingers into the drawer as if he’ll be able to lift the heavy object. And it’s Theo’s pleading face, still smudged with bits of yogurt from his lunch, that has Buck taking the keyboard out and setting it up.
Buck is aware that he’s good at the piano. A series of checkmarks across his social media accounts for his music is proof enough, if not for the requests for scores and video tutorials. But he hasn’t played in front of anyone for years. He would wait for Chim to leave during quarantine and record with headphones in silent, soundproofed rooms. The last time he played was months ago, when he was still recovering and faced with every possible emotion all at once.
But it doesn’t have to be like that for Theo, so he presses the power button and fiddles with the settings until it sounds like a firetruck. He alternates notes until it sounds like a siren, and Theo is laughing.
“That’s not the piano,” he says, pointing at Buck.
“My bad, you meant this?” Buck asks, switching the setting to vibraphone, just to watch Theo’s face light up at the different noises.
“Can you play something now?” Theo eventually asks, impatient through it all.
“If we go clean up, you can play too,” Buck suggests, hoping that Theo’s wavering smile won’t dissolve into tears.
Luckily, it doesn’t. Buck is able to wash the marker off Theo’s arms and clean out the dirt beneath his nails with minimal hysterics.
Then, Theo plucks at the keys he wants, pushing Buck off whenever he tries to direct him. Buck plays a simple nursery rhyme for him, watching Theo excitedly try to play along. It only lasts a few minutes because Theo has a meltdown over Buck playing better than him.
Buck hates it every time and it hasn’t gotten easier in the months since Buck started fostering him. All he can do is sit near him, trying not to get too close or too loud. Every parenting page has a different opinion. On meltdowns, on the terrible young years, on letting your kid make mistakes. Help them up or let them get up on their own, either way is a death zone.
He just turns the volume dial down on the piano and forces his way through the theme songs of Theo’s favorite shows. He’s learned that if he tries to touch Theo, he’ll cry and he’ll kick and scream and wrestle his way out of Buck’s reach. So, Buck plays until Theo has screamed himself hoarse and quiets down, staring silently at the piano.
“Bed?” Buck asks softly, almost to himself as he transitions into a lullaby and smiles at the way Theo sways along. This is why he likes making music so much.
“Okay,” Theo sniffles.
He wipes his hand along his nose and clears his face of tears with his sleeves. Buck really should’ve made him brush his teeth before he took out the piano.
Like every night, he reads a story to Theo, who incessantly says he doesn’t want Buck to read to him. And, just like every night, Theo gasps when Buck pauses for dramatic effect and laughs when Buck does a voice. Then, Buck will hesitate at the door, wondering if the restraints on the back of the dresser are strong enough, or just watching the bundle of blankets Theo completely covers himself in rise and fall.
He’s always going to wonder if he made the right decision, and nights like these don’t do much to reassure him. He wants to stand in the doorframe all night, making sure Theo doesn’t have a nightmare or a restless night. But he doesn’t. Buck goes back to his own bed and pretends that there isn’t a notebook with scribbled music notes in his nightstand and a file full of half-finished songs on his computer. It’s better that way.
He stares at his ceiling and pretends that the love-hate relationship he has between his fingers and the keys doesn’t haunt every audio recording and clip he posts online. Never his face, never showing his tattoos or his speaking voice or anything personal at all. Except for the fact that he’s gutting himself on the internet with long piano pieces that fall out of his head and onto the keys without prompting.
It’s August. The last few months have wasted away like seconds. He has a shift tomorrow.
Buck goes to sleep.
“BUCK! Buck! Buckkk…” Theo tugs at Buck’s covers, dragging them off the bed and onto the floor.
Buck opens his eyes reluctantly and looks at the mess of curls at the end of his bed, jumping around excitedly. He’s exhausted. Between taking care of a toddler, dealing with paperwork, and his shifts at work, Buck rarely gets a full night of sleep.
Last night was one of those rare, relaxed nights, even if it ended with a meltdown. Theo is an incredibly funny kid. Buck just sort of wishes it wasn’t at the expense of his house. He’s going to have to do something about the lock on his closet door, barricading his microphone, guitar, and filing cabinet. This kid is unstoppable.
“I’m up!” Buck says, hopefully enthusiastic enough, as he springs up and smiles.
“Ah!” Theo shouts in surprise.
He giggles to himself before pulling at the collar of his shirt harshly. Buck grimaces, knowing that if he asks Theo to stop stretching out his shirt, the kid will take it off and put it on inside out and backwards.
“Feed me,” he says in a deep voice, squinting his face and pointing angrily at Buck.
“Does it have to be human?” Buck quotes.
Theo freezes, staring at Buck and just pointing at his stomach.
“He’s hungry,” Theo says with a nudge. “You need to feed him.”
Buck brings a hand to his chest in apology, “Oh, of course. What’s his name? Can’t have him going hungry.”
“He doesn’t have a name, stupid,” Theo says. He tries to roll his eyes, but they end up just flitting back and forth. “He’s my stomach.”
Buck changes his shirt as Theo flops on his bed, “Don’t— don’t call me stupid, Theo. That’s not nice.”
“You’re not nice,” Theo retorts.
“Okay. Great,” Buck replies absentmindedly. “What time is it?”
“1-2-3,” Theo says confidently.
Right. Kid can’t read time. Buck should have seen that coming. It’s been months, and there are still things he doesn’t know about the kid. Will never know. The best he can do is keep the picture of Connor and Kameron near Theo’s bedside and talk to his therapist.
“1-2-3? That’s time to eat breakfast! I think Sam will be here soon to bring you to daycare after I go to work.”
The earliest drop off the daycare has starts 30 minutes after Buck’s shift starts. So— babysitter.
Usually in the mornings, Buck does everything possible to placate Theo so that he’ll be somewhat calm when Buck leaves. It usually doesn’t work.
“Food!” Theo demands, now climbing onto the bed with significant struggle.
“Alright— c’mon. What do you want. Eggs? Pancakes?” Buck asks as he dumps his sheets back onto his bed and steps out of the room.
“Cake!
Buck sighs, “No cake for breakfast, buddy.”
“Yes!” Theo says as he follows Buck into the kitchen.
When Buck turns around, Theo’s face is obscured and he’s already sniffling.
“Don’t cry. Please,” Buck begs. He’s been doing that a lot more lately. “Luckily for you, I know about this really cool cake that you can make in a pan… Wanna try?”
Theo instantly smiles, jumping up and down and rushing towards the fridge to stand next to Buck, “Yeah! Duh.”
Buck makes pancakes.
When Theo first stayed in the house, Buck spent every minute scared to feed the kid. Scared that there was some hidden allergy or something that Buck would do that would ruin the kid’s life. But the only real injury is an impressive collection of bruises on Theo’s shins from running headfirst into everything he finds.
He puts strawberries on one side of the plate, grapes cut into quarters on the other side, a singular blueberry on top.
Theo runs around his legs, making grabby hands at the plate once Buck finishes. The last time Buck trusted him with it, he had immediately dropped it, so Buck doesn’t make the same mistake.
He places the plate on the table instead, pushes it far enough that Theo won’t knock it down when he uses his hands on the table for purchase and sits his own plate of eggs next to it. Theo climbs up the chair and drags the plate back towards himself, staring at the fruit judgmentally.
“What!” Buck yells, putting on a faux shocked voice. “How did that get on there?”
He points to the grapes, then at his own empty plate.
“That’s not fair… Can I have some?”
“No, Buck… These are mine, silly,” Theo explains, waving his fork around.
“Oh…” Buck sighs. “How silly of me.”
Theo laughs at him, but eats a handful of grapes just to laugh at him, despite the fact that his fork is already in his other hand.
When Buck is cleaning up, Theo tells him about a dream he had or a story idea he came up with.
“Wow. He did not do that— also… Did you like the piano yesterday? Was that fun?”
Buck would like to pride himself on his amazing ability to change the subject casually and inconspicuously. It helps that the receiving subject is a preschooler, too.
Theo swings his legs between the holes in the chair, obnoxiously slamming them whenever they meet.
“Why don’t you play?” he says instead of saying yes or no.
Buck scrapes the pan in the sink, “I played yesterday, Theo.”
Theo slams his feet into the chair legs, “Not before.”
Buck deliberates revealing his secret music career to Theo for all of three seconds before he caves.
“I’ve actually made songs before. Wanna hear them?”
“Okay,” Theo says easily, as if Buck hasn’t spent over a decade feeling he had to hide this. “But I need to finish my story now. Right now. Or else.”
“Or else?”
“Yes,” Theo nods seriously.
That brings Buck to washing the dishes with Theo behind him, excitedly rambling about how he was a rainbow star and one of his friends was a horse. In a dream, story, or playtime adventure, Buck isn’t really sure. Buck is just glad he can check off that creative recall checkbox on the 4 year old normal behavior chart he keeps hidden on his phone.
“So, then he goed booooooom and he fell out of the sky!”
“Oh, he went and fell out of the sky? That’s so interesting— How did you get on the counter? No! Don’t jump!”
Buck rushes forward and catches Theo as he launches himself off of the kitchen counter, Theo laughing on the way down and Buck’s heart racing out of his chest.
Theo giggles, sticking his arms out like he’s flying as he asks, “Why? You catched me.”
“I caught you now, but I won’t always be there, buddy. I can’t always catch you if you’re jumping off things. You could get hurt.”
“You should always be there, Buck.”
“I wanna be, trust me,” Buck says, pulling Theo in for a hug and grimacing when he wipes his nose on Buck’s shoulder. Should have seen that coming.
Theo hugs him back, but quickly asks, “Can I watch TV now?”
“In the morning? Before daycare?” Buck retorts with a laugh. “I don’t know about that one, buddy.”
“My mommy lets me.”
Buck bites his lip and hugs Theo a little tighter. He’s doing the best he can.
“You can watch something with Sam when she gets here,” he says eventually. “But only if you’re ready to go. Can you find your shoes for me?”
Theo runs off to get his shoes from the hallway as Buck changes his shirt and grabs his bag, bringing everything to the door so he’s ready to leave when the babysitter arrives.
“Buck! I only have one!” Theo shouts from across the house, bringing Buck on the harrowing journey of checking kitchen cabinets and under Theo’s bed.
It was in the bathroom sink. Buck drives to work with a smile on his face.
“There he is!” Chim says when Buck walks into the firehouse. “Any disasters last night?”
“Same old,” Buck replies, which really could mean anything given Theo.
Chim laughs. “Don’t I know it. Jee smashed Mara’s piggy bank at a playdate yesterday. Dropped it from her bed. Said she wanted to see if it would fly. Mara was hysterical. Denny was just laughing.”
“Oh my gosh,” Buck laments, walking with Chim up the stairs. “I have to introduce them to Theo. He’s only met Jee and Chris, y’know. Am I restricting his social life?”
“He’s at daycare?” Chim waits for Buck’s nod before continuing. “Then he’s fine. There’s no kids here around his age anyway, well Jee’s only two years older. Still. Denny is a giant, he’s only a few months younger than Chris, y’know.”
Buck knows. Just like how he knows that Chris is nearly half way done with high school and that Eddie has been stressed out of his mind.
Speaking of Eddie—
“You have glitter on the back of your shirt,” he says, hand on Buck’s shoulder as he walks by.
“I just changed,” Buck groans, twisting around to look at the smear of glitter on him.
Chim shakes his head, “First rule, man. Can’t have anything in your house.”
“I don’t even have glitter! I think he’s taking it home from daycare, actually.”
Eddie and Chim laugh at him, because they have kids too. It’s still weird to think about. That he’s not alone in this. That all of his friends will come over without another question to help him deal with the unmanageable fear of being in charge of a kid. He has Chris and Jee, but never living under his roof and spending every second with him.
“Better than the terrible two’s,” Chim says sympathetically. Eddie and Buck wince in unison. “Alright, back to work. Eddie, coffee. Buck, go change.”
Buck nods and walks back down the stairs to root through his locker for a shirt.
While driving to the first call of the day, he gets a text.
> Drop off successful.
Attached is an image of Theo in the car seat in the babysitter’s car, attempting to eat a napkin. Buck knows when battles are lost, and with the way that Theo is smiling as he gives a one handed wave to the camera, the best course of action was to let him have the napkin.
Buck responds with his thanks before turning the phone around to show Hen and Eddie the image.
“Aw,” Hen says, smiling at the picture. “Chim, didn’t Mara try to eat paper when she lived with you guys?”
Chim turns around from the front to glare at her, “Hey, that’s your daughter who tried to eat paper. And it was only one sheet! Jee said it would make her a superhero. I don’t know what was happening with that.”
“Yeah, Denny ate pennies as a baby. That was… not pleasant,” Hen reminisces, staring off into the distance.
The 118 have been on one too many calls for kids eating things they weren’t supposed to. Even though most of their recommendations were an ER visit, the kids would always look confused and try to eat something else. Usually it was fine. Unless it was magnets. Does Buck have any magnets at home? He should really do another child proofing of the house.
Hen starts humming to herself and Buck thinks back to the keyboard in his room. Maybe he should get back into really caring about what he makes and not releasing a song about… everything that’s happened in the past year.
He’s Evers online. Evan to his sister. Daniel to his parents. Derek to—
“Buck, did you find that book online? Chris is about to make me drive half an hour to a random library,” Eddie interrupts.
It takes Buck a moment to reconnect the dots and nod.
“If he has his library card log-in he can read it online. But if it has diagrams or something I can pick it up wherever. Theo’s going to see more of LA than I am at this point.”
Eddie laughs and smiles at him as the sun filters through treetops. He can barely even hear the sirens over it.
He’s already thinking of a new chord progression.
Pop Music HQ
Evers on music, family, and secrets · Rachael Kimex, PM associate
The other day, I got the chance to chat with current sensation Evers about his music and career over voice call. At request, the recording will not be released, but this transcript has been approved.
Below is the transcript of the interview with Evers, discussing his introduction into music, past releases, and future plans.
[ . . . ]
. . . So, yeah. I kinda just started tapping those beats into my keyboard. Then I did it more, and more, until I had a semi-functioning song. And it was just that music had a flow. I guess that really meant something to me. Obviously, my first song wasn't all that good. But, it was something that I had made. I showed it to my sister, and I could tell she didn't really understand it. She had this blank smile, but still said ‘Wow, this is really good!’ in that reassuring voice that older sisters do. You know what I'm saying?
I’m sure we all can relate. So, you have an older sister? Is she also a music person? Does she know about your career?
She has a beautiful singing voice, but she doesn’t know about… this. I probably should tell her, but… I guess I’m just intimidated. I have over a decade of music published, and there are a lot of grudges frozen in there. Outbursts and stuff. I’m a lot prouder of the music I make now. Definitely more finished, since I’ve pouring all my time into this. Still, once I say something, there’s all this history that I also have to share.
You like to hide behind the anonymity, you mean?
Not really? Sure, it’s there, but I don’t want it to hide me or anything. In my… field of work… there’s a lot of pressure and stuff. Meeting people and helping them. I think that sort of transfers over to my music. I think. I hope. It’s easier to keep these areas of my life separate because I can help people without all these hangups about them knowing I sing about my fears and stuff.
So, music is your outlet from all this pressure?
Yeah, exactly. When I released Choices, it was definitely a change for me. Not only were there actually lyrics—and, yes, I’ve read the comments. I know they’re lackluster [laughs]—but, I was singing about stuff that was really personal to me. When did I release that? 2019? [pauses] Yeah, I think so.
Anyway, that was a… really dark time for me, honestly. I got injured, and I made a lot of mistakes with my coworkers, my family, myself. It’s so far behind me now, but the pain is still— immortalized, really. What did I sing in that [lead single, “Chosen”]? Screaming at a grocery store / With your name blacked out … Yeah, that’s real. Definitely not my proudest moment.
Speaking of “Chosen”…
Oh, this is so weird, you recognized the song.
Was I not supposed to?
I don’t know. This is my first interview, like, for music stuff. I answered questions online for a bit—with releasing all that stuff in 2020—but never like this, I guess. Sorry— I interrupted you. Go on.
That’s alright. About your lyrics, actually— let’s talk about “Chosen.” You seem pretty modest, but that is your second most popular song, only under “LOST!”, of course. What does that song mean to you? Especially all of its fame, given that it’s such a sensitive topic.
That’s a good one. [pauses] Okay, it’s like this. I bake, a lot. My… Well, someone really close to me taught me how to cook. Before that, I was kind of a jerk. Like, rude, breaking rules, getting fired, all that. He really— I started to bake. Like, a lot. [laughs] I felt like it was no attachment. With music, I spend hours bent over my screen, trying to get the drums to match up or something. But baking has a recipe. No feelings— well, yes, feelings. But no fear over someone learning something too personal. Just fear about how it tastes, and how it looks, and what people are going to think of me when I give them another dozen muffins.
So, music is just like that. Something I’m passionate about and is worth every second. I screw up batches all the time. I’m really forgetful, I don’t check to see if I have the ingredients before I start combining ingredients, I forget to take the pans out of the oven when I preheat it— but I still bake. And I still make music. “Chosen” hurts because I made it when I felt like I had no choices. I was always doing the wrong thing. But it means that I helped someone. Helped someone else get through a time like that. And that’s what I want. Someone to enjoy a muffin I bake and someone to enjoy the music I make. Sorry, I got a little off track . . .
[ . . . ]
. . . Any plans for the future? Revealing your true identity?
Don’t say it like that, you’re making me sound like a supervillain [laughs]. But, really, I don’t know. I might tell my friends, we’re all really close, and I don’t think they would judge me. Well, they’ll judge me. But it’ll be on my squeaky college voice, not the fact that I make music. They’d probably be very supportive. I actually have a new song underway, nothing as crushing as the last one, I promise. I don’t want to… wallow. Anymore. So, be on the lookout!
We will! Thank you so much . . .
[ . . . ]
View comments [53]
Evers @evers
Thank you so much for having me! Loved being able to finally talk about my music to someone.
RK23 @guest
Evers interview? He’s a younger brother? And a baker?! I desperately need this audio clip, but I will respect his privacy… Still, I really want to hear that [laugh]
⤷ BP924 @guest
Did he… sing… those lyrics? Acoustic Evers? Isolated vocals?
EG03 @guest
No mention of “We were an explosion / Twin flashes of light” is crazy when talking about Choices.
PA63 @guest
New Evers song? That isn’t heartbreaking? Sign me up
“Am I supposed to take him to the eye doctor?” Buck asks frantically, the second that Eddie picks up their video call.
“What?” Eddie laughs, eyes tracking back to the screen at Buck’s fervor. “Can he see?”
Buck groans, “Yes. I think. But he could be faking it…”
Eddie adjusts his phone, the view shaking as he places it down on top of something and leans closer to the screen.
“Why would he fake seeing? Actually— I’ve seen that kid move, that’s a fair assumption.”
“Exactly!” Buck agrees.
“But, didn’t you just bring him to the doctor? And you have him sitting through those therapy sessions—”
Something that Theo isn’t aware is therapy. But he’s been growing more suspicious about the coloring pages and fidget toys lately.
“—and they would notice if he wasn’t able to read or anything. Right?”
“I guess,” Buck murmurs reluctantly.
“Buck, c’mon,” Eddie laughs. “You’re doing great. Every parent is always a mess. I wish I was there for Shannon when I needed to be, but I wasn’t. But you’re perfect. Um— Perfect for Theo. He loves you.”
Eddie smiles softly at him, something that used to feel patronizing when Buck first called him for advice, but has become sympathetic. Buck has come to expect the look, the careful reassurances, the links that Eddie sends him after Buck doubts every move that he makes.
Buck feels like it’s the opposite lately.
“He spent ten minutes yesterday yelling about how much he hated me and how he wanted to go home.”
Eddie is silent for a long moment.
“And Chris is a teenager. I think kids are just like that.”
“Doesn’t make it hurt any less,” Buck adds petulantly.
Eddie shakes his head, “No, it doesn’t.”
Buck looks over to Theo at the table, where he’s eating his food.
“Should I teach him how to ride a bike?” Buck asks after a minute.
“Do you want to?”
“Is it like… my place? Actually, there’s no places to ride in LA anyway.”
He can feel himself getting worked up again, scared about everything outside and inside that could hurt Theo. There’s already enough damage psychologically.
“Alright, Buck. I’m gonna need you to calm down. Would you say that about skateboarding? Would you say that about Chris wanting to do something? Is it your place there? Your place is helping people, Buck. And if that kid wants to learn how to ride a bike, you should teach him.”
Buck is frozen for a moment, before laughing, “Okay, thanks Eddie—”
“Buck!” Theo shouts from across the room.
His scrambled eggs are on the floor and his white shirt is stained with ketchup. That was Buck’s mistake, honestly.
“I have to go now, Eddie. Thanks.”
“Bye—”
Buck hangs up and rushes over to Theo, staring at the mess and the fork that he’s holding impatiently.
“I’m hungry.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have thrown all your food on the floor, then,” Buck replies, feeling just as childish.
“Not me!” Theo pouts.
Buck sighs.
“Yeah, not you, kid. What would Chris say if he saw this?”
“Chrisssssssss. Is he hungry?” Theo asks, brightening at the mention of the other kid.
“Probably. I heard he ate an entire pizza the other day,” Buck says with a gasp, dabbing at the stains on Theo with a napkin.
Theo’s jaw drops, “A whole pizza?”
“A big one.”
“Wow. Chrisssss is so cool. Can I have pizza now?”
Buck sighs, “You can have eggs.”
“I want pizza.”
“Do you know what pizza is?” Buck tries.
“Pizza,” Theo repeats.
“Bread, sauce, and cheese, right?”
Buck grabs a piece of bread, a cheese stick, and the bottle of ketchup, filling up another plate with a few bites of eggs.
“So, this is basically a pizza,” Buck points at the ingredients.
He’s about to combine all of them, but Theo doesn’t mess around with his food touching each other.
“It’s not a pizza if they aren’t together.”
“Well you can eat just the cheese, right? So you can eat just the eggs.”
Buck is bargaining with a mad man.
“Fine,” Theo concedes, stabbing his fork into the eggs and taking a bite.
He apparently realizes that he’s hungry, because he quickly shovels the rest of the food into his mouth and reaching for the slice of bread. It’s only after he takes a little bite when he complains again.
“I’m done.”
“Okay,” Buck grins, putting away the rest of the food and eating what remains of the slice. “Wanna change into PJs? Some cozy socks? Hot chocolate? Movie? What’s the plan?”
Theo wipes his mouth on his hand and slams his hands on the table, “Payno.”
“Huh?”
“Boop. Boop. Beep beep. Bowowow,” Theo sings, miming pressing a key with his index finger.
Buck smiles, “Piano? Right after your clothes aren’t covered in ketchup.”
“Catch me!” Theo responds, jumping out of his chair and running towards his room.
Theo’s already making puns. He’s going places. Unfortunately, those places are unsupervised.
In a matching set of pajamas, Theo sits on Buck’s lap as they sit in front of the keyboard.
“What does this one do?” he asks, pointing at a button.
Buck presses it, “It’s a metronome. It’ll play noises to keep track of time. Like a clock.”
“And this one?”
“That’s a D key. It makes a… D sound…”
“What about this?” Theo asks.
“G key.”
Theo presses it, “G sound?”
“Very intuitive of you, yes.”
Theo’s nose scrunches at the unfamiliar word before he distracts himself by pushing the keys.
“What are these?” he asks, scratching at the stickers on the keys.
They’re cartoon letters on each key that Buck had ordered online to layer on to the keys. Maybe out of some unadulterated hope that Theo would find some interest in the instrument.
“They’re so you know what each key does! Wanna try?” Buck asks.
Theo nods excitedly and starts slamming on the keys aggressively.
Buck carefully moves his hands off the keys and shows him how to softly press them.
“How about you play B - A - G?”
After a long moment that has Buck concerned that Theo doesn’t know how to read letters, Theo presses the right keys.
“Yes! That’s right! You’re so good at this.”
Theo preens accordingly, taking both small hands to the keys to play with his tongue sticking out.
“Can you play a song about me?”
Buck shifts his knee under Theo, “Like your favorite song?”
“No. Make one,” Theo insists.
Buck squints at him and tries to rearrange his hands around the kid so that he can reach the keys comfortably.
Buck plays slowly, playing a simple scale. Theo lights up regardless of the difficulty, and continues to press keys on the right. He plays the notes short, dramatically lifting his hands off the keys at every note. Then, he improvises, playing a winding melody that reminds him of how Theo runs around the house.
“Now one for Jee-Jee.”
Jee-Jee is a new one. Theo seems intent on calling her anything except Jee-Yun since everyone calls her something different.
Buck ends up just playing one of Maddie’s favorite songs from when they were kids. It’s not like Theo will know. But he’s not a fan.
“Now for Leo.”
“Who is Leo?” Buck asks exasperatedly.
Theo, of course, doesn’t elaborate.
He just sniffs and says, “He wants a song.”
Buck plays and plays until—
“Eddie, please.”
This one is hard. It’s easy to make up songs for each of the stuffed animals on Theo’s bed, but he was just on the phone with the guy.
“That’s very polite of you. let’s see.”
He doesn’t think classic rock is the right move. and he hasn’t heard enough country song to make it sound right. He stretches out his hand and rolls his way up an F chord before dropping down to a D. Then, he just keeps going. He holds the chords until Theo finds a button that makes each key sound like a drop of water and they play around with that.
Buck writes down the chords one handed into his notes app. Just in case.
“Can I play what you sound like?”
“Go for it, buddy.”
Theo reaches over his lap and tumbles onto the ground, trying to touch the lower keys. When he gets back up, he stands next to the bed and presses the lowest note, before quickly hitting all of the lower registers in succession. It’s not a very pleasant tone.
“Wow. Thanks. I feel so honored,” Buck says sarcastically, glad that the kid doesn’t understand those kind of tones yet.
“Yes. And then you go, bum bada bop,” Theo narrates seriously as he figures out that he can press the black keys as well and makes a truly grating noise.
Buck’s alarm goes off and he picks Theo up carefully, “Time for bed. Teeth time.”
“But I’m hungry,” he whines.
“You just had dinner.”
Theo pouts, looking up at Buck with eyes he can rarely refuse. “But I’m hungry.”
“Teeth,” Buck says with a wide grin, making sure all of his are visible.
“Why do you have so many teeth?” Theo asks, sufficiently distracted.
Buck bites down loudly, “Because I brushed my teeth.”
“I don’t want that many teeth!” Theo pouts, lip wavering.
Buck sighs and takes out their toothbrushes, preparing to deal with the scene that’s about to happen. At the very least, he’ll get a song out of the play something that sounds like Eddie bit.
Evers @evers
94 posts 436k followers 129 following
‘stars’ and such out now
✧
Stars
Evers · 62.8K videos
✧
Stars
Evers
Evers - Stars Lyrics · View contributors · View Translations
[Verse 1]
Said we were predestined
Written in the stars
How can it be over
If we never had a start
Now I’m just a broken
Harpoon at the seams of everything
I thought was real
[Chorus]
We’re just written in the stars
Written in the-
Written in the stars, oh
Drive and race our cars
Laughing behind bars
Written in the stars, oh
[Verse 2]
First, I was lost
’Til I found you
Or should I say
You found me
. . .
Expand ↴
[Comments]
Potlymxat534
EVERS SINGLE ON A TUESDAY
Evaleighax02
He said it would happy. Who taught Evers to lie in interviews…
FerrArchie16
Who is he in love with … Why does it sound like a sparkly waterfall … How do I recover from this
⤷ [View 3 replies]
RXbently274
Videos/posts on his social media about this song! Official audio clip, promotion, and answering questions
↳ [View linked post]
Evers · 1 photo
♫ · Stars - Evers
[Image ID: ‘Stars’ release cover with text overlay reading “AMA about ‘Stars’!”
@evers Answering questions about ‘Stars’!!! Thank you guys for all the love #stars #askmeanything
[Comments]
@foreva21.x who are you in love with, evers…
⤷ @evers · poster haha… Going to get this one out of the way first! I’m not in love with anyone, these are just some lyrics that popped up into my head once I made the melody and had everything down. If anything (if I had to choose) I’d say it’s about my best friend. He’s been with me through it all and I think we were always meant to meet and help people (we work the same job) and we’ve been through a lot. We’ve helped each other through all these dark times even when I doubt myself, and that doubt is what kind of became this song. The lyrics might’ve been a little bit too down for this very happy score, but I think life is just like that. All that music in the back is just every feeling I have. And it’s just how I feel about him. Friends through it all! Hope that answered everyone’s question.
⤷ @foreva21.x I think if your ‘best friend’ heard this, he would have a different opinion…
⤷ @brl0uised Who’s gonna tell him? Not it
⤷ @pwotl293brekd Okay Romeo… Evers basically just said “Then I defy you, stars!” Where is the Romeo and Juliet edit
⤷ @madeofdust293 Taking everything that was thrown at him and his friend… and turning it around… fighting against what everyone tells them to be and writing his own destiny…
⤷ @evers · poster Okay… why didn’t I think of this… you guys are stealing my cool, mysterious explanations
@[email protected] I got a lot of OG Evers vibes with this one. Is this all new or did you sample some old stuff?
⤷ @evers · poster Mostly new, but I definitely went through some of those old videos and projects and found bits I thought were cool. I sampled a wind chime if that counts
@Dr1v3nBy Love these effects! What settings did you use? Do you have pedals or do you do it all online?
⤷ @evers · poster The piano effects are right from my keyboard. Mostly everything else is on the computer. Here’s a breakdown of some of the big effects. [Video]
@shY80davie Is this going on to an album?
⤷ @evers · poster I don’t think so. The sheer amount of stuff I had years ago became albums just because I felt it was what I was supposed to do. But I spent a pretty long time working on this, and I don’t think I can devote all of that into making an album. I think singles are the way to go for me now.
“So, Buck,” Maddie starts, sipping on her coffee. “Funny story.”
Jee-Yun is teaching Theo the extremely complicated story of her dolls. Although Theo keeps using his toy dinosaur and crashing it into Jee’s playhouse. But Jee is laughing more than she is shouting, so Buck can’t be mad yet. They’re in the kitchen while Jee entertains him.
“Which is?” Buck asks.
Maddie puts down her mug, squinting at Buck and tilting her head, “I was out at the mall with the girls—the ones from that dinner party, you know—and the strangest song was playing.”
Buck isn’t really sure where Maddie is going with this, “Oh?”
He sorts another piece into Fairytale Dream Castle from where he’s sorting the pile of mismatched puzzle pieces.
“Yeah, not sure if you’ve heard it, but apparently it’s pretty popular on TikTok,” Maddie continues.
“Maddie, this is the vaguest explanation you could possibly give,” Buck laughs.
Another piece into Evil Green Beach. Buck isn’t sure if these are the puzzle names, but he’s labeling each piece with the number 2 on the back now.
“Want me to sing it to you, Buck?” she says, with that tilt in her voice that tells Buck that something is about to go wrong. “Said we were predestined—”
Buck sits up immediately, dropping a piece into the wrong pile.
“Woah there!” he exclaims, holding out his hand and trying to stop his beating heart.
Well, not stop it. Obviously.
Maddie smiles infuriatingly, “What? You recognize it?”
“Maddie…” Buck groans.
“Hmm… do you have something to say, Buck?” she says with a smile.
Buck closes his eyes, “This is not happening.”
“Funny! That’s exactly what I said when I heard my little brother’s voice singing on the loudspeakers at Macy’s! Want to explain that?”
Maddie is laughing, now. She’s laughing at Buck’s embarrassment.
Buck opens his eyes again, leaning closer as he says, “I didn’t mean to hide it from you… It just kept happening! I don’t even know why people listen to it.”
Maddie rolls her eyes and leans back in her chair, taking another long sip of her coffee.
“This is coming from a man who struts down the aisle at a firefighter auction, rips off his shirt, and does a backflip, all while a custom intro video plays. Buck, you know what you’re doing,” she says with a pointed look.
That’s all true. Buck has a lot of confidence in life. It takes a lot of pride in himself to be uploading all the music he does to the internet. It takes confidence on the rig, on the job, bringing Theo out to the playground. Still, there’s always some deep-seated fear.
“I watch a lot of video tutorials,” Buck explains. “But… how did you know it was me? No one at the 118 even knows I play the piano and none of them have heard me sing sober.”
“Aw, Buck. Sisters always know,” she says, laughing to herself before straightening. “Actually, it was because I was rewatching those old tapes from mom and dad’s. They had some in their RV of you practicing at home and singing to yourself. And with me, of course. I don’t know, Buck. You’ve always sounded the same to me.”
Buck gives himself a moment to smile at her, because he really can’t be mad at her for making fun of him when she says things like that.
“Maddie. I’m so confused,” Buck says. Which Maddie laughs at. “You’re not upset over this?”
She shrugs, “It’s none of my business, really. Well, it is now. I’m not letting you forget this. But, really. I don’t care that you used to sing about how I screwed you over. We’re over that. Right?”
“Yeah, we are,” Buck confirms.
“Alright, come here,” Maddie says with a smile, opening her arms. “Unless my pop star brother is too famous for that.”
Buck smiles too and hugs her. Somewhat awkwardly, since they’re on opposite sides of the table.
“So, Eddie?” she asks once they pull away from each other.
“Eddie what?”
Maddie clears her throat, “Just can’t believe Evan “not in love with Eddie” Buckley released a song about how he’s so in love with Eddie.”
“I am not in love with Eddie!” Buck protests. “That is not what the song is about. It’s about our friendship.”
“Buck, your song has become a couples trend. If Chim wrote a song about me like that…”
“Okay, why does everyone think I’m in love with Eddie?” Buck asks.
“Everyone?”
“All of my comments, Maddie. And then you, Tommy, everyone.”
Maybe even more people, now that he’s thinking about it. Maddie had been hinting at it for years, and his girlfriends always would give him a look when he mentioned either of the Diaz boys. Competition.
“Okay. Think of it like this,” Maddie says, interrupting Buck’s train of thought. “If Chim released a song like that and said it was about Hen and their friendship, I would not be a happy camper. Do you see where I’m going with this?”
Buck is starting to get the idea. No one has ever really seen him and Eddie just as friends. There’s talk about them being a family, filthy looks in a diner, uncorrected assumptions. Too long glances at Eddie and spats that cut deeper than any wound.
“Someone called us Romeo and Juliet.”
Maddie rolls her eyes, “You guys are not Romeo and Juliet. But that should definitely be telling you something, Buck.”
Buck closes his eyes. Eddie smiling at him through their video call. Eddie’s face when Chris met Theo for the first time. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
“Maddie… Am I in love with Eddie?” he asks, somewhat uselessly.
“You tell me.”
“Oh my goodness. I’m in love with Eddie,” Buck moans in despair, folding his head onto the table.
Maddie shakes her head, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“The entire internet warned me. How did I write a song about him? Actually— Maddie. I wrote multiple songs about him. Multiple. And no one thought to tell me?”
“By the sounds of it, everyone tried to tell you.”
They did. And Buck brushed it off. He had never had a best friend before Eddie. And their relationship was filled with bumping shoulders and legal documents and promises.
Buck groans and Maddie pats his hand before Jee rushes in and tugs at both of them.
“Theo’s trying to eat the carpet!”
Maddie laughs at the expression on his face, and Buck gets up.
“Oh… it’s snack time?” he asks innocently, waiting until Jee opens her mouth to scoop her up and carry her, laughing, into the living room.
“Theo! Is that nail polish— Theo!”
Evers · video post
♫ · Original Audio - Evers
@evers New song on the way. Sorry about the blur on the guitar, my kid decided to carve his name into it… #singersongwriter #originalmusic #guitar #acoustic
[Comments]
@jenafie32 Kid???????????
⤷ [View 21 replies]
@owers_xo New song??????
@purple_ramber Evers???????????
Evers · 1 photo
@evers Gave him a bucket and a drum stick… he color coded the piano #kids
[Image ID: Piano with stickers labelling the keys. Each key is a different color, scribbled messily along. A single strand of spaghetti lays on one of the keys.]
[Comments]
@beverfeverx47 Rule #1: No Sharpies in the house with kids… rookie move
⤷ @evers · poster And no drinks or faucets or doors or crayons either. No winning with this guy
Buck has been totally normal since he’s realized he’s in love with Eddie. He wrote another song, dealt with the terror of Theo losing his first baby tooth, and has spent a normal amount of time looking at Eddie’s contact on his phone.
The contact photo is one Chris took of Eddie when he was sleeping, and had sent to Buck in the middle of the night with no context. There’s his home, cell, and work numbers. His address, birthday, little star next to his name for favorite contact. A text message button. A call button.
Theo’s eating his spaghetti peacefully, but it won’t last for long. He stares at the button for another long moment, thinking of Eddie’s face on call when he was driving in El Paso. Eddie texting him about Chris. Eddie showing up unannounced when Buck couldn’t accept help. He’s here now. And Buck loves— Yeah. Buck loves that about him.
Loves the way he treats Chris like an equal, how he levels with Theo, how he has Buck’s back on every call and every step. How he understands that pain is unavoidable, but rolls with the punches so that he’s able to come out the other side. On the other side of that storm is a rainbow or a pot of fool’s gold. One or the other.
He presses the call button.
Buck only has to wait for a few rings, because Eddie picks up almost instantaneously.
“Buck? What’s up?” he asks.
There is already a smile growing on Buck’s face as he feels the weight on his shoulders lighten. This is all he needs. He’s talked to Eddie since he realized that he’s upside down about him, but each time feels like another sparkler.
“Nothing— you free right now?”
Eddie hums, “Yeah, we just had dinner.”
“Wanna come over?” Buck asks, feeling like a teenager twirling their hair as they call their crush and not a grown man with a kid sitting at the table. “Board games or something? Theo’s starting to get sick of me and I do not want to deal with the park right now.”
Theo perks up at the mention of his name and at the word park. “Park? I wanna go to the park!”
“No, Theo— it’s too late and you have school tomorrow,” Buck stresses.
Of course he had to say the word park within earshot of him.
“I wanna go to the park!”
Eddie, in his ear, concerned, “Buck—”
Theo is pouting now. He lets go of his fork and reaches for the sides of his plate—
“Theo— don’t.”
“—Yeah, we’ll come over. Need anything?” Eddie again.
“Theo! Let go, please.”
“Park!” Theo protests one last time before upending the plate of spaghetti on his head and immediately sending himself into tears.
Buck sighs into the phone. “No. Just let yourself in, I have to give this guy a bath.”
Theo slams his hands on the table, “I don’t want a bath! I want to go to the waterpark!”
Buck sighs again.
“Alright, good luck. See you soon,” Eddie says at last.
“Yeah, bye,” Buck says with a final click, turning back towards Theo.
“Park,” he insists.
“Bath,” Buck counters. “Teeth. PJs. C’mon. Eddie and Chris are coming over.”
Buck takes the pile of spaghetti off Theo’s head. It falls onto the plate with a plop.
“Not a very stylish hat. How about a bubble hat?”
Theo cheers up, getting up himself and walking to the bathroom. There are stains of sauce on the tablecloth now, but Theo willingly going to the bathroom is an achievement on its own.
When Theo is finally cleaned up and in new clothes, he runs back into the kitchen so Buck can hear “Eddie! Chris!” as he drains the tub and uses the last of the towels to clean up the water that Theo splashed at him.
The table is clean when Buck makes his way into the kitchen. Chris is carefully emptying the dishwasher while Eddie walks with Theo standing on each of his feet.
“So all the clues but one were lost. And you will never believe where they hid the map,” Eddie is saying.
His voice sounds like a conspiracy theory as he smiles downwards and moves his and Theo’s hands together.
“Where?” Theo asks, tilting his head upwards as Eddie dramatically raises his feet to bring the two of them across the floor.
Eddie pauses for a moment before lowering his voice and saying, “On the back of the Declaration of—”
“No spoilers!” Buck shouts as he passes by to return Theo’s toys to his room.
“But the treasure!”
Buck scoffs, “He’s going to think that’s real!”
“But, Buck! It’s invisible,” Chris joins in, always committed to whoever starts the bit first.
Buck sighs as he reenters the room, helping Chris put the dishes in the cabinet and recheck the child safety locks. Nothing short of a lock and key will stop Theo, but sometimes it’s enough to deter him long enough.
“Yeah, Buck! How would you know?” Eddie agrees, twisting him and Theo towards Buck and Chris.
Buck sighs, “Don’t teach him how to steal.”
Eddie gasps, scandalized, “We would never do that, right, Chris?”
Chris nods obediently and starts talking about something or other where the Declaration was almost burned as Theo chatters somewhat unintelligibly into Eddie’s ear about unicorns and clouds.
Eddie nods seriously. Buck just wants to step closer until there is no space between them. Maybe ask him how it’s so easy to drop everything and waddle around with Theo. But over the past few months, Theo and Buck have just as easily dragged snacks and half finished homework over to Eddie’s. Chris has long since given up on trying to help Theo with his homework. The kid’s smart, though. Definitely has more passion than Buck did as a kid. Buck liked to invent songs on odd numbered keys and play as loud as he could until one of his parents would yell for him to shut up. Anything for someone to look at him.
Buck wipes the sleep out of his eyes, and tears his eyes away from Eddie.
“What are we playing tonight? Evil chess again?”
They have to pick something where Theo will either win, think he won, or has no points at all. And it has to be short enough that Theo won’t lose interest and weird enough that Theo’s rules fit in.
Chris groans at Buck’s suggestion. He’s been through enough chess related trauma, to be fair.
“Go fish!” Theo suggests, steeping away from Eddie and running back towards Buck to hug his legs.
That’s also an option.
Which brings the four of them to the living room, huddled around the coffee table as Theo tries to secretly look at Eddie’s cards, but tips too far forward.
“Cheater,” Chris whispers when Buck goes to get them drinks.
Then, he shouts, “Buck! He’s looking at your cards!”
Buck doesn’t bother with a response, just sets the two juice boxes in front of the kids and leaves water for himself and Eddie.
“Thank you,” Chris says, before opening his own juice and helping Theo.
Theo sticks his tongue out, but smiles at Chris dropping his cards on the floor as he tries to grab the box.
He takes a sip, makes a face, and gives Buck the first sign that the game isn’t going to end well.
“Do you have any three’s?” Eddie asks Theo, knowing that the kid definitely doesn’t.
Theo ignores him, taking another sip and holding the juice box tightly enough that Buck can see it dribble onto his hand.
“I don’t want juice!” Theo says, turning the box upside down and squeezing onto the hardwood.
“Okay,” Buck responds calmly, somewhat desensitized to the daily mess.
He turns to Chris and asks, “Can you grab a towel?”
Chris nods and walks down the hall, Theo dropping the crumpled box onto the floor without a care.
“There aren’t any in the bathroom,” Chris shouts once he’s there.
Buck sighs, scooping down for the box as he replies, “Shoot. I think they’re in my room in a basket. Can you reach the child lock? It’s near the top of the door.”
“Yeah, sure. One sec!”
Eddie picks up the scattered cards as Buck scoots Theo over and onto the couch.
“C’mon, buddy,” Eddie says as he picks Theo up. “Let’s sit on the couch.”
Chris comes back with a washcloth, passing it to Buck who starts to sop up the spilled liquid. It’s still sticky.
Once everything is clear, Chris clears his throat.
“So, Buck,” he starts carefully, innocently. “Why is there a piano in your room?”
Buck thinks back to the little cartoon letters he bought, each stuck to the individual keys so that Theo wouldn’t get mad that he didn’t know what to press when he wants to play with Buck.
He laughs, “Um. Theo. Wanted to learn.”
It’s casual, somewhat. Believable. With little further inspection.
“You got a piano for him?” Eddie asks, somewhat distracted from where he’s playing with Theo.
Eddie, who is looking up from his modified game of Pattycake with wide, curious eyes. Eddie, who has not heard about this development when he’s heard about everything from how Theo felt about yesterday’s peas to his teachers’ names at school. Eddie, whose brow is furrowing and is interrupted by Chris speaking again.
“That’s cute. Are you good?” Chris asks.
Theo nods happily, all traces of anger gone, “The best.”
Eddie shakes their hands together, making Theo giggle, “You’ll have to show us soon.”
Theo nods absentmindedly, picking up one of the toy cars he wedged between the couch cushions days ago and dragging it across the table.
Buck stretches his arms and leans back against the armchair, “That’s that.”
He can square it away, pretend that he hasn’t been playing Theo’s favorite songs that don’t have karaoke tracks. Eventually, Chris gives up on trying to play with Theo and starts scrolling through videos on his phone. Buck takes the time to close his eyes and breathe, reassured that one of the two will catch Theo if he starts running off.
He’s halfway towards falling asleep when he feels a familiar song. He opens his eyes to inconspicuously watch Chris as he watches the video.
Chris laughs at his phone, “Hey, Buck. This song kind of sounds like you.”
Buck knows exactly what he’s watching. Another couple video or edit posted online, star outlines drawn in the corners. Buck’s name at the bottom of the page next to the audio source. He laughs because that’s easier than saying yeah, Chris. Because that’s the song I wrote and produced.
Theo doesn’t understand easier, because he drops his toy car and turns around.
“It’s the Eddie song!” Theo shouts.
Which is a remarkable memory achievement for the kid, but not exactly helpful when Eddie is four feet away.
“Huh?” Eddie asks, sitting up on the couch.
“That’s Buck!” Theo says proudly, walking over to Chris and making grabby hands for his phone.
“You’re not allowed to have this, silly,” Chris says, but he restarts the video and turns up the volume so they can all hear it.
Not helping.
“Are you even allowed to have social media? You should probably do something about that, Eddie.”
Chris scoffs, “I am 16 years old!”
“Can you play the full song?” Eddie interrupts.
Do not do that, Chris, Buck thinks with all of his focus. They’ve always had a special bond. And now is a better time than ever for their psychic abilities to kick in. Unfortunately, Chris does not hear.
“Yay!” Theo cheers as Chris pulls the song up and presses play, filling the room with the stupid wind chimes on Buck’s porch that he added to the song.
Buck sits in mortification as the song plays through its whole duration, trying to remain casual and clearly failing.
Theo dances—wiggles is a more appropriate term—to the music, jumping whenever Buck sings stars and getting upset when Buck doesn’t join like he usually does when Theo wants to listen to his music.
“Who is this?” Eddie asks, pulling up his phone now, and oh no.
“Evers,” Chris reads slowly, “Let me open his page.”
Oh no.
“Buck?”
Oh no.
Chris is stepping up to him now, turning the screen towards Buck’s face like he doesn’t know exactly what he’s going to see. And what Buck sees is his latest post at the top of his feed, the stupid piano in his room that Chris clearly just saw and remembers.
“That’s weird.”
Chris hums, taking the phone back and clicking through posts. “So, if I go in your room, I won’t find a guitar with Theo carved on it?”
“Nope,” Buck says, way too fast.
And then Eddie stands up.
Buck quickly sits up in his chair, “Where— where are you going?”
Eddie squints at him, “Why? Can’t stand up anymore?”
Eddie is infuriatingly stubborn—one of the things that Buck loves most about him. Not in this moment, exactly.
“No. You can,” Buck hurriedly corrects.
The two of them are still far apart, but Eddie’s gaze burns as if he’s right in front of him. It’s like waiting for the first domino to fall on its own. A precarious tower, a castle of cards under a gust of wind. Buck’s not going to be the first one to cave. So, they have a silent staring contest as Chris watches on.
“Chris?” Eddie asks—not looking away. “Bring Theo to bed?”
Chris nods, “Sure, Dad.”
“Theo— remember—” Buck starts, hoping the kid remembers he can’t be running around Chris the same way he does with other kids. Theo has recently had a habit of trying to run in between people’s legs.
“Yes, Buck,” Theo whines, standing up and wiping his hands on the couch.
Another problem to deal with. The floor’s still sticky and Eddie is still looking at him like he’s figured Buck out. Maybe he has.
Eddie waits for the two of them to leave the room before he speaks again.
“So, Buck. You ever hear that song before?”
Buck sighs, rubbing his eyes and groaning. Maddie said the same thing, awfully calm for all the inner turmoil that Buck was subjected to. Buck should have never published the first video. He should’ve skipped Soundcloud and uploaded the music right into his notes app, where no one would hear every thought that became a note.
After a moment, he laughs.
“So you can see through this, but not through Freddie Fakeman?”
Eddie rolls his eyes. He shakes his phone in one hand before crossing his arms.
“Well, I know your voice, Buck,” he says.
“That’s what Maddie said, too.”
Eddie pauses at that, tilting his head and probably wondering how many people know about it. The answer is just Maddie. But there’s a slim chance his parents could recognize him if they heard the music. Very slim, but possible.
“Actually, I just recognized you from the video posts. But you confirming it is good proof too.”
“How?”
Buck had been careful. Never showed tattoos, never spoke, made sure there were no views outside of windows or mentions of LA or anything more personal than face value information.
“Wearing the hoodie you are right now,” Eddie says with a vague gesture.
Apparently not careful enough. Although, no one except for Eddie would notice such a thing. And of course Eddie realized. Because he notices everything about Buck. He knows when Buck feels stressed out and when Buck just needs—
Buck groans, “Okay. So, what’s up? I know it was a whole, big secret thing—”
“No. It’s none of that,” Eddie says plainly. “It’s just… That was a good song. I liked it.”
Buck’s old music was painful. It had the candor of a guy with no commitment, with no place, with no hope. It sounded alright, but didn’t go much farther. This song feels better. It feels like a sparkle in a time when he’s stuck fighting between his own mind and body.
He’s fairly critical of his own work, but he does really like “Stars.” It’s a confession and an oath.
“Yeah, me too.”
Eddie laughs, “Okay. So I’m not an expert at music like you—”
“I am not an expert,” Buck overlaps.
“—but that song is something. What is it about?”
You. Buck wrote that song thinking about their friendship. But now it’s not about their friendship, not since Buck realized that he wants Eddie at his side for everything and anything.
“Uh,” Buck deflects. “Nothing really. Or everything, you know?”
“Sure, Buck.”
Eddie levels him with a deadpan stare, clearly not believing him. He always saw past—
“Don’t give me that look,” Buck exclaims. “I don’t know. Theo was asking me to play stuff, and it became that song.”
“So, why did Theo call it the Eddie song?”
The song’s about you. I wrote it about you before I even knew I was in love with you.
Buck scratches his head, “Uhh. Good question.”
Eddie stands up—Buck stands up too, because he can’t be sitting for this—and takes a step closer.
“Do you do interviews? Videos? What’s the whole deal with this?” he asks.
“Here. How about this?” Buck takes Eddie’s phone and pulls up his response explaining what the song was about.
Eddie dutifully reads the response, smiling to himself. Buck knows what he’s reading. Friendship and battles and dark times. Then he pauses, thumb moving and tapping on the screen.
He twists the screen around, “Why do all the replies say you’re in love with me?”
“You think you’re my best friend?” Buck laughs. “That’s pretty egocentric, Eddie.”
He’s smiling though, because Eddie isn’t moving away. In fact, he’s walking closer, still holding Buck’s phone.
“C’mon, man.”
“Fine! The song’s about you,” Buck confesses. “Everything is about you. Are you happy now?”
“Sure,” Eddie laughs. “Just correct me if I’m wrong, but this song does sound like you’re in love with me.
Buck laughs too. “Maybe.”
“Really? And not just because the internet is telling you?”
“No. But that helped me realize. That I don’t want to do this alone. Yeah, it takes a village and all that, but you’re different for me. Like tonight. I’m pretty sure you’d drop anything if I said I needed some help with Theo— and you know I’d be in the same boat with Chris. On the job, here, wherever, you’re there. And I guess that means I’m kinda in love with you.”
It doesn’t take much to say. Once he starts, it’s hard to stop. The words just start falling like petals, hanging between them. He can hear Theo speaking loudly in the other room.
“Huh,” Eddie muses.
“Eddie?”
Eddie smiles, “I love you too. In the in love with you way.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. You gonna write a song about it?”
Buck rolls his eyes this time, but he can’t fight the smile that grows on his face.
Just as he’s stepping closer to Eddie, Chris appears in the entranceway.
“Dad? Buck? Theo wants a bedtime story. He said I’m bad at them.”
Eddie laughs at him, then laughs at the offended look on Buck’s face.
“Okay, Chris. Just wait here, we’ll go home in half an hour, maybe.”
Chris nods and sits down on the couch, tired. He grabs his phone again, which is starting to concern Buck, but the kid is a teenager.
“Half an hour?” Buck asks.
Eddie shakes his head exasperatedly, “Gotta put the kid to sleep first.”
They walk side by side in the hall. Shoulders knocking and hands brushing like normal. In the steps before Theo’s room, Eddie pauses.
Buck freezes too, turning around to say, “Yeah?”
Eddie kisses him then. No preamble, no pause. Just a hot breath and quick press of lips.
“C’mon, bedtime,” Eddie says calmly, dragging Buck into Theo’s room.
“Buck!” Theo sits up once he walks in, blinding smile that makes Buck laugh and bend down to hug him.
“Alright, buddy. What are we reading tonight?”
Eddie laughs from the door. He knows that they read the same story every night.
“Eddie! You pick!” Theo says with a point.
Eddie picks up the lone book on Theo’s nightstand, “How about this one?”
Theo nods approvingly and shifts down in the bed so Buck can sit next to him and read.
“You gonna sing it?” Eddie asks. Somewhat evilly, in Buck’s opinion.
Buck just shakes his head and opens the book, trying to ignore Theo’s hands creeping up from under the covers to crunch the pages and fiddle with the frayed edges.
“Let’s read it first,” Buck suggests, placing his index finger below the first word.
Theo’s asleep before they even reach the end.
Eddie kisses him again when he stands up from the bed, and again when they leave the room, and once more when Chris is waiting in the car and Eddie’s at the front door.
“See you tomorrow?”
“Kids at school,” Eddie confirms.
Buck smiles, “Okay.”
“Alright.”
There’s another moment of silence between them. Nothing tense, just the sound of the late LA air rustling the leaves and of crickets rubbing their forewings together.
One more kiss for the road.